In the fifth grade I was writing this in my journal, encoded in a cypher so nobody could read it even if they found it. Today, am 24. I've been on hormones for a year and a half, and am a woman everywhere I go. I got married and wore gorgeous dress for it last month. My spouse is no longer a woman, but he's never been happier, and I have several lovers who are women. You'll get there in time, OP
I'm not an expert but I really reccomend just trying what makes you happy. Don't worry too much about passing, if someone doesn't respect who you are, fuck them.
This, as well. Passing for your safety is one thing. Beyond that it gets into your brain like a parasite until you hate yourself and your sisters for failing to reach a standard that no cis woman could hope for
I think that's a really common worry, but people are not so observant as we think. I'm a cis man with long hair and a beard, I usually have someone call me a lady about once a month when they're not paying close attention.
Just do you, honestly. I think you may surprise yourself.
Eh idk I still worry about it quite a bit. I'm fairly certain I'm trans like 99% but I definitely don't consider myself a girl because I don't appear feminine in any significant way, and still sound like a dude. I haven't started transitioning yet, will probably get hormones in the next few months and I've been growing my hair long and losing weight (I wanna get like super slim before starting hormones because I've heard E prompts weight gain and I would also need to gain some fat while developing breasts, then hopefully after all is said and done I can end up around the same weight since I'm already on the lower side of the healthy BMI scale).
I feel wrong when people refer to me using feminine pronouns or phrases right now because I'm still very plainly a dude even though I want to be a girl. I don't know where the threshold will be to adopt a new name and pronouns but I'm definitely gonna have to pass first.
Only reason I'm even going to take the chance is because I'm reasonably certain I'll be able to fully pass without surgery. If I thought I couldn't I'd never even risk it. Trans people are treated horribly in society so I'd rather be a "cis" femboy for life than be an obvious trans girl and become even more of a target.
Passing is something we impose on ourselves. Like, if you've been in a small town or somewhere rural, a lot of the cis women there wouldn't count as passing by trans standards, so seriously don't worry about it so much!
8 was my favorite number when I was like 15 and now I can’t change it. Trust me. I’m part jewish, if reddit let us actually change our usernames I would have already. Also yah when I read that I forgot poly was a thing lol. If all of yall are happy, then hell yah.
Hey, I obviously can't know anything about you more than you can, especially since I'm just some stranger online, but just from what I've seen, I'd wager that that's already exactly what you are. Even if you might not be satisfied with who you are at the moment, it doesn't change the fact that you can be just as much of a real girl and a real lesbian as any other, and you don't even need to change anything about yourself for that to be true. All you need is to realize that it's already true.
I know the feeling well, and it really sucks to deal with, but there's a way out of it, and I'm certain that you'll become more comfortable with your identity.
Sorry for the convoluted paragraph, but it's just a thing that I feel a lot and I wanted to share my thoughts on it. If ever chatting about it could be helpful, I'm always open. Stay strong. :>
If you're AMAB, you could always become trans girl! Trans girls are girls, so if they like other girls that still counts as lesbian
Also please take care of yourself and get nice meal and water ;w;
Literally not eating for a week is terrible and will probably make your self hatred worse because your brain will be malfunctioning.
If you’re super depressed just make sure to get some sugars for your brain and electrolytes/vitamins/minerals for your organs. Bananas are good for this, so is Gatorade.
kind of the same. i am a girl but i’m also aroace, but only recently i’ve started to feel that i’m about 90% aro and 10% not, and i feel like i’d be happier if that 10% was girls. i’m sure there’s a label for it but honestly i don’t want to know the label, i’m fine with being an aroace lesbian
your identity isn't static, it can change. If you feel like being a girl, try it out and see how you feel about it.
FINNSTER has a tutorial and feminizing your face shape (if you need/want it go check it out), other than that Hannaowo does a really cute look in her Egirl makeup tutorial (the updated version for 2022). You can also try out using she/her pronouns, as well as trying femme clothing if you have any, or your friends/family have any, Voice Training Guides can be found at "L's Transvoice Guide" on r\/transvoice, Online Vocal Coach Discord server, Scientifically Augmented Voice Discord server, and Scinguistics Discord server. Don't do swallow and hold excersizes (I've heard that they can lead to unhealthy muscle usage), and for very simple feminine voice try the "Big Dog, Small Dog" and "Whisper Siren" (very similar to big dog small dog, but you basically smoothly transition between big dog and small dog, also, try doing the whispering sound on this excersize very softly, so it's almost inaudible) excersizes.
if you haven't already i'd highly recommend taking a look at this. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
(i'm not trying to, like, transsplain or call you an egg or whatever, you just sound exactly like i did when i was an egg, and the above helped me understand my feelings a lot, so i recommend it to everyone)
I wish I was a lesbian so I could use that kickass flag. It's the best lgbt flag colorwise, change my mind (you cant).
And no, the asexual flag is not better, though it's close.
You know that's how I felt for a long time until i realized that I was a girl the whole time.
If you feel that way, you probably are a lesbian. Like 90% chance.
Not a creep, just mistaken. People make mistakes sometimes, and figuring out who you are is a process that never truly ends. It's okay to take a chance. It's okay to take a leap of faith. Because even if you were wrong, and that's not who you are, at least now you have the advantage of knowing who you aren't.
So go with the 90% chance. Explore who you are. I guarantee one way or another you'll be happier. I know because I was in your exact position almost 2 years ago. So trust someone who's been there. And trust your feelings. Not the ones a bunch of terfs tried to shame us all into having.
I wish I could have been born a girl, it just seems like a huge amount of work going through the changes I want. Not only that but I feel like it'll never be enough for me and I'll always be unsatisfied. Not to mention I'm worried about disappointing those close to me. I know that they won't care and will be accepting and cool about it. Bit it always feels like this weight on my chest like it's hard to breath.
Sorry to ramble
Back when romance novel started to become a thing and the idea of marrying each other because you actually like each other became a thing, there became this kind of purity to it, love for love's sake
In an age of haha wife bad humor, the whole legalizing gay marriage thing brings back the idea of love for love's sake and I think that's why a lot of people feel this way
Btw I might be completely wrong about this
YOU ARE JUST LIKE I AM! Regardless of how we look on the outside. Inside we are ourselves and free and we need to find her within ourselves and see her and connect because that’s what SHE’S HURTING FOR. You need to be real to yourself first ❤️
Really depends, tbh.
Is she a girl who wishes she was attracted to woman for weird reasons dispite being attracted to men? That's cringe.
Or is she a girl who is unable to come to terms with who she is because she doesn't think she is somehow allowed in either the "attracted to girl" category or the "girl" catagory? That's not cringe. That's just sad.
Big big difference between those two things.
That's just sad.
I'll tell you what I told myself then but reverse the genders:
"Girl" isn't a special catagory. It's not an achievement or a goal that you need to work to. It's just a social catagory of various things that doesn't even have a set end because anyone can be a "girl" no matter what they look like, sound like, act like, ect. It's simply a perception that describes a state that you feel that you are. Same applies to lesbianism. Do you like girls? Yes? Are you arbitrarily a girl because of the first given? Yes? You're a lesbian. At least saphic. Good for you.
I think it's the Chad wojak pfp? but I'm not entirely sure.
This happens a lot.
But, to be fair, I did ask this with the full "gay trans man" contempt for femininity so if it's anything they're smelling that on me.
ngl wanting to be a girl really sounds like symptoms of being a girl
I assume they are a girl into men, who wants to be into women.
Thats what I assumed too but idk
the humanly urge to have a straight relationship in a gay way
ngl I’m a straight cis male and sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
well you're halfway there
do you think you'd be happier if you were? might be worth exploring what that means for you
I’m very comfortable with my masculinity. I just think lesbians have more fun
Might just not be cis
oh dear. take care of yourself. its worth it i promise.
In the fifth grade I was writing this in my journal, encoded in a cypher so nobody could read it even if they found it. Today, am 24. I've been on hormones for a year and a half, and am a woman everywhere I go. I got married and wore gorgeous dress for it last month. My spouse is no longer a woman, but he's never been happier, and I have several lovers who are women. You'll get there in time, OP
I think I'm worried I'll never pass. Otherwise I probably would have started by now.
I'm 6'3 with broad shoulders and visible arm hair. I can't remember the last time I was called sir
I'm not an expert but I really reccomend just trying what makes you happy. Don't worry too much about passing, if someone doesn't respect who you are, fuck them.
This, as well. Passing for your safety is one thing. Beyond that it gets into your brain like a parasite until you hate yourself and your sisters for failing to reach a standard that no cis woman could hope for
Unrelated, but love the MFKZ pfp. Such a good movie
Hell yeah
I started HRT this June at 30, progress takes time
yoo congrats, best of luck on your transition
Thanks! It's been stressful but I have support
I think that's a really common worry, but people are not so observant as we think. I'm a cis man with long hair and a beard, I usually have someone call me a lady about once a month when they're not paying close attention. Just do you, honestly. I think you may surprise yourself.
Eh idk I still worry about it quite a bit. I'm fairly certain I'm trans like 99% but I definitely don't consider myself a girl because I don't appear feminine in any significant way, and still sound like a dude. I haven't started transitioning yet, will probably get hormones in the next few months and I've been growing my hair long and losing weight (I wanna get like super slim before starting hormones because I've heard E prompts weight gain and I would also need to gain some fat while developing breasts, then hopefully after all is said and done I can end up around the same weight since I'm already on the lower side of the healthy BMI scale). I feel wrong when people refer to me using feminine pronouns or phrases right now because I'm still very plainly a dude even though I want to be a girl. I don't know where the threshold will be to adopt a new name and pronouns but I'm definitely gonna have to pass first. Only reason I'm even going to take the chance is because I'm reasonably certain I'll be able to fully pass without surgery. If I thought I couldn't I'd never even risk it. Trans people are treated horribly in society so I'd rather be a "cis" femboy for life than be an obvious trans girl and become even more of a target.
Passing is something we impose on ourselves. Like, if you've been in a small town or somewhere rural, a lot of the cis women there wouldn't count as passing by trans standards, so seriously don't worry about it so much!
I read 'this in my' as 'in this' so the first part was just completely unrelated
Man, queer people seem like they live so much more interesting lives than straight cis people.
Queer people have been forced to the edge of society, and so naturally must be different.
Married but have several lovers?
Yeah, got a problem with it? While we're at it, what's with the 88 in your name? 🤨
8 was my favorite number when I was like 15 and now I can’t change it. Trust me. I’m part jewish, if reddit let us actually change our usernames I would have already. Also yah when I read that I forgot poly was a thing lol. If all of yall are happy, then hell yah.
Thank you :)
be exactly who you want to be, do what you want to do
Nah, eat something mf
Hongry
oh yeah the title lol
It do be like that sometimes
What is stopping you? 🤨 Sounds like you already are one girl
As opposed to me, I am several girls. I am one in every 8 girls.
i contain multitudes
Hey, I obviously can't know anything about you more than you can, especially since I'm just some stranger online, but just from what I've seen, I'd wager that that's already exactly what you are. Even if you might not be satisfied with who you are at the moment, it doesn't change the fact that you can be just as much of a real girl and a real lesbian as any other, and you don't even need to change anything about yourself for that to be true. All you need is to realize that it's already true. I know the feeling well, and it really sucks to deal with, but there's a way out of it, and I'm certain that you'll become more comfortable with your identity. Sorry for the convoluted paragraph, but it's just a thing that I feel a lot and I wanted to share my thoughts on it. If ever chatting about it could be helpful, I'm always open. Stay strong. :>
What prevents you from being that?
What do you mean? Lesbianism like other sexual preferences is (usually) something your born with and can’t change
I would imagine the attraction to women is not the missing part in this equation.
They could be attracted to men as well which they wouldn’t be able to change.
what? did I read something wrong?
I think OP is probably already attracted to women, but not a woman themselves (yet). That's how this post reads to me anyway.
huh, I think that's more of an effect of their wording than anything else, I don't wanna read to far into it but I see what you mean
Laughs in AMAB they/them lesbian.
the fact that i like a male raccoon from a furry visual novel
You probably are then
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The /s is for the weak
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Oh wait I’m stupid i got /s and /j mixed up lmao
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Damn I’m stupid again. Im thinking of /srs which means serious
you want to be fingered? 😏
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You still have a hole on the back
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Now everyone will know that you're a cute bottom
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You can't choose if you're cute or not, i'm the one in control right now
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Nobody can help you right now, you're mine 😈
Good thing you're already a girl who likes girls
Doin hormones soon, but I've been a lesbian for many years now! you will get there!
\>i want to be a girl amazing news!
do tell
wanting to be a girl is a major symptom of being a girl!
but you are a lesbian ?
you can do that I think
Ngl, it’s pretty sweet
If you're AMAB, you could always become trans girl! Trans girls are girls, so if they like other girls that still counts as lesbian Also please take care of yourself and get nice meal and water ;w;
I am a girl, I don't know who I like, I think I am bi but also ace if that makes sense. My sexuality is lonely
Literally not eating for a week is terrible and will probably make your self hatred worse because your brain will be malfunctioning. If you’re super depressed just make sure to get some sugars for your brain and electrolytes/vitamins/minerals for your organs. Bananas are good for this, so is Gatorade.
kind of the same. i am a girl but i’m also aroace, but only recently i’ve started to feel that i’m about 90% aro and 10% not, and i feel like i’d be happier if that 10% was girls. i’m sure there’s a label for it but honestly i don’t want to know the label, i’m fine with being an aroace lesbian
Wait just be a lesbian then stupid. Like, that’s a thing that you can do. Do it.
but im bi and nonbinary
Why do you wanna be a lesbian then?
idk the vibes? if i could choose i would much rather be a cute girl with a cool girlfriend and own a cottage jn the woods and live off grid.
If you want to be with women and you are attracted to women I don't understand the problem.
your identity isn't static, it can change. If you feel like being a girl, try it out and see how you feel about it. FINNSTER has a tutorial and feminizing your face shape (if you need/want it go check it out), other than that Hannaowo does a really cute look in her Egirl makeup tutorial (the updated version for 2022). You can also try out using she/her pronouns, as well as trying femme clothing if you have any, or your friends/family have any, Voice Training Guides can be found at "L's Transvoice Guide" on r\/transvoice, Online Vocal Coach Discord server, Scientifically Augmented Voice Discord server, and Scinguistics Discord server. Don't do swallow and hold excersizes (I've heard that they can lead to unhealthy muscle usage), and for very simple feminine voice try the "Big Dog, Small Dog" and "Whisper Siren" (very similar to big dog small dog, but you basically smoothly transition between big dog and small dog, also, try doing the whispering sound on this excersize very softly, so it's almost inaudible) excersizes.
You'll find a way. Like a friendly giant red robot said once: hold on to your dream, the future is built on dream.
if you haven't already i'd highly recommend taking a look at this. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en (i'm not trying to, like, transsplain or call you an egg or whatever, you just sound exactly like i did when i was an egg, and the above helped me understand my feelings a lot, so i recommend it to everyone)
What are you talking about gal you ARE a girl
Based… still cis though
This is one of those obtainable things, like, you can do that
Sexuality is not a choice, because if it were, I would choose to be more bi
Buy a lesbiab license then
You are showing signs of being a lesbian
I wish I liked myself or that anybody loved me heheh.
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Pov: you don't understand sexuality
Destinyposter 🤢
I wish I was a lesbian so I could use that kickass flag. It's the best lgbt flag colorwise, change my mind (you cant). And no, the asexual flag is not better, though it's close.
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You’re just a dude bro
Neither
honestly I feel the same way. I do not feel trans the slightest, yet I would love to be lesbian. welcome to the group my friend
Hello Saferide moment
Please eat something, at least you'll body will be fine enough to start working on mental health
Ass or tits?
cuddles
Based
oof, now that's relatable
Idk but for me I like being both. I like looking and being a girl and I also like being a boy too. Am just a rat with a confused brain
You know that's how I felt for a long time until i realized that I was a girl the whole time. If you feel that way, you probably are a lesbian. Like 90% chance.
yeah but that 10% chance of me just being a creep
Not a creep, just mistaken. People make mistakes sometimes, and figuring out who you are is a process that never truly ends. It's okay to take a chance. It's okay to take a leap of faith. Because even if you were wrong, and that's not who you are, at least now you have the advantage of knowing who you aren't. So go with the 90% chance. Explore who you are. I guarantee one way or another you'll be happier. I know because I was in your exact position almost 2 years ago. So trust someone who's been there. And trust your feelings. Not the ones a bunch of terfs tried to shame us all into having.
I want that sometimes, but I like being a guy who likes both. It depends on whatever my current thought process is really.
Same. Girls loving girls is just too cute and sometimes I wish I could get in on that.
drake
I wish I could have been born a girl, it just seems like a huge amount of work going through the changes I want. Not only that but I feel like it'll never be enough for me and I'll always be unsatisfied. Not to mention I'm worried about disappointing those close to me. I know that they won't care and will be accepting and cool about it. Bit it always feels like this weight on my chest like it's hard to breath. Sorry to ramble
It's healthier to eat regular meals every day
Im already 24h without food but I also hate myself so just eat and love yourself lmao
Have you tried transing your gender?
I'll make you a deal, I have "likes women", and I'll trade it for your "likes men"
i like both, actually
Back when romance novel started to become a thing and the idea of marrying each other because you actually like each other became a thing, there became this kind of purity to it, love for love's sake In an age of haha wife bad humor, the whole legalizing gay marriage thing brings back the idea of love for love's sake and I think that's why a lot of people feel this way Btw I might be completely wrong about this
Having a girlfriend isn’t going to fix your insecurities. Try therapy, and when you feel okay on your own, then you might have luck.
i never said getting a girlfriend would fix my insecurities
Oki
Congratulation you are lesbian
YOU ARE JUST LIKE I AM! Regardless of how we look on the outside. Inside we are ourselves and free and we need to find her within ourselves and see her and connect because that’s what SHE’S HURTING FOR. You need to be real to yourself first ❤️
*Why though?*
This bitch gay
Really depends, tbh. Is she a girl who wishes she was attracted to woman for weird reasons dispite being attracted to men? That's cringe. Or is she a girl who is unable to come to terms with who she is because she doesn't think she is somehow allowed in either the "attracted to girl" category or the "girl" catagory? That's not cringe. That's just sad. Big big difference between those two things.
the second thing
That's just sad. I'll tell you what I told myself then but reverse the genders: "Girl" isn't a special catagory. It's not an achievement or a goal that you need to work to. It's just a social catagory of various things that doesn't even have a set end because anyone can be a "girl" no matter what they look like, sound like, act like, ect. It's simply a perception that describes a state that you feel that you are. Same applies to lesbianism. Do you like girls? Yes? Are you arbitrarily a girl because of the first given? Yes? You're a lesbian. At least saphic. Good for you.
im sorry
You don't need to apologize? I'm an asshole on the internet. I don't deserve your consideration. Just yell at me and move on like everyone else lol
no. I will apologize for every action even if I am not at fault
Used to be me ngl
no, i dont wanna yell at anyone. Sorry
Idk why you're being downvoted. This is a reasonable question. Three way in which OP doesn't consider themself a lesbian is highly relevant
I think it's the Chad wojak pfp? but I'm not entirely sure. This happens a lot. But, to be fair, I did ask this with the full "gay trans man" contempt for femininity so if it's anything they're smelling that on me.