My son was 14 months old when my daughter was born. I think due to his young age, we didn’t deal with any jealousy when she was born. He mostly ignored her and when he did notice her, he would run over and poke her or occasionally smack her on the head and laugh. When she got to around 5-6 months of age and found her voice, he became amused by her and would often try to share his toys or run over and give her a kiss. He’s now 2 and she’s 10 months old. We have to yell “gentle” a lot because he can get a bit rough sometimes, but mostly he’s curious about her and wants to play with her but doesn’t know how. I have noticed in the last few months he has been showing some jealousy and refusal to share toys but my daughter is still so young that she doesn’t really get phased by it.
My advice to you is to baby wear your son as much as you can, so that you have your hands free for your toddler. Always respond to your toddler first, because she actually is aware of what’s going on and the baby isn’t. Try to spend time alone with each child. Other than that - just survive lol. I had to let go of a lot of my expectations of the kind of parent I wanted to be. We are in survival mode right now and it’s okay if things aren’t going exactly how you wanted them to. As long as those babies are loved, fed, and safe, you’re winning!
I’m only a month in, and not the same age gap (17 months for us), but since you wanted to hear success stories:
So far it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. With my first baby everyone said “you’re so lucky to have such an easy baby” while I was dying. I was so terrified for that newborn experience again, and WITH a toddler.
My son has a completely different temperament. This is what people actually mean when they say “easy baby”.
My 18 month old absolutely loves her “baby bruddah”, it’s actually a problem how much she loves him lol. She’s always trying to give him toys and binkies, she just isn’t quite coordinated enough to do that safely yet
I know I’m still super new to it, but I’m loving this age gap so far
My 2 are 12 months apart and it's exhausting but it also means eldest didn't start getting jealous until youngest was more robust around 6 months and able to fend for itself a bit.
I mean yes you'll get "stroke stroke smack!" but no malice until older
My girl was 17 months when her brother was born but she took to big sisterhood like a champ! She’s the sweetest but an absolute tornado, though she’s always very gentle around baby (sometimes needs reminding but usually because her motor control isn’t excellent ofc, she never has bad intentions). I also found that even newborn tiredness didn’t trump 3rd trimester tiredness so I finally had more energy to run around after her even with newborn in tow. It’s still early days for us so I feel like I can’t offer more for you right now but it’ll be just fine!!! It’s hard but it’s manageable. Best of luck with your delivery and 2u2 journey 🩷
I would love to know how you’re running around after her and holding the baby at the same time, I have a six week old and I am absolutely incapable of doing both of them at once 😭😭
Mine are 14 months apart. They’re currently 5 months and 19 months. It’s wild in the beginning, but doable. We also didn’t deal with any jealousy with our toddler. She just loves her brother and he loves her. Having them so close wasn’t intentional but I’m glad. I was so nervous and it’s been hard at times but it’s getting easy hard now if that makes sense. We call our daughter a chaos baby so I also get that haha.
Also one of the best things we did was just adjust the baby to our toddlers schedule as best we could. He’s in a routine so much faster than my daughter and is happier for it. Also I physically felt much better after I gave birth and I think that was such a relief for me that I felt more capable right away.
My son was 14 months old when my daughter was born. I think due to his young age, we didn’t deal with any jealousy when she was born. He mostly ignored her and when he did notice her, he would run over and poke her or occasionally smack her on the head and laugh. When she got to around 5-6 months of age and found her voice, he became amused by her and would often try to share his toys or run over and give her a kiss. He’s now 2 and she’s 10 months old. We have to yell “gentle” a lot because he can get a bit rough sometimes, but mostly he’s curious about her and wants to play with her but doesn’t know how. I have noticed in the last few months he has been showing some jealousy and refusal to share toys but my daughter is still so young that she doesn’t really get phased by it. My advice to you is to baby wear your son as much as you can, so that you have your hands free for your toddler. Always respond to your toddler first, because she actually is aware of what’s going on and the baby isn’t. Try to spend time alone with each child. Other than that - just survive lol. I had to let go of a lot of my expectations of the kind of parent I wanted to be. We are in survival mode right now and it’s okay if things aren’t going exactly how you wanted them to. As long as those babies are loved, fed, and safe, you’re winning!
I’m only a month in, and not the same age gap (17 months for us), but since you wanted to hear success stories: So far it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. With my first baby everyone said “you’re so lucky to have such an easy baby” while I was dying. I was so terrified for that newborn experience again, and WITH a toddler. My son has a completely different temperament. This is what people actually mean when they say “easy baby”. My 18 month old absolutely loves her “baby bruddah”, it’s actually a problem how much she loves him lol. She’s always trying to give him toys and binkies, she just isn’t quite coordinated enough to do that safely yet I know I’m still super new to it, but I’m loving this age gap so far
My 2 are 12 months apart and it's exhausting but it also means eldest didn't start getting jealous until youngest was more robust around 6 months and able to fend for itself a bit. I mean yes you'll get "stroke stroke smack!" but no malice until older
My girl was 17 months when her brother was born but she took to big sisterhood like a champ! She’s the sweetest but an absolute tornado, though she’s always very gentle around baby (sometimes needs reminding but usually because her motor control isn’t excellent ofc, she never has bad intentions). I also found that even newborn tiredness didn’t trump 3rd trimester tiredness so I finally had more energy to run around after her even with newborn in tow. It’s still early days for us so I feel like I can’t offer more for you right now but it’ll be just fine!!! It’s hard but it’s manageable. Best of luck with your delivery and 2u2 journey 🩷
Omg. Thank you so much. So reassuring. I cannot believe how tired i am. Im literally praying that the baby comes soon, i am beyond exhausted.
I would love to know how you’re running around after her and holding the baby at the same time, I have a six week old and I am absolutely incapable of doing both of them at once 😭😭
I have baby in a carrier! Absolute game changer
Looking at a 16 month gap myself and this is so reassuring!
Mine are 14 months apart. They’re currently 5 months and 19 months. It’s wild in the beginning, but doable. We also didn’t deal with any jealousy with our toddler. She just loves her brother and he loves her. Having them so close wasn’t intentional but I’m glad. I was so nervous and it’s been hard at times but it’s getting easy hard now if that makes sense. We call our daughter a chaos baby so I also get that haha. Also one of the best things we did was just adjust the baby to our toddlers schedule as best we could. He’s in a routine so much faster than my daughter and is happier for it. Also I physically felt much better after I gave birth and I think that was such a relief for me that I felt more capable right away.
You and me both girly! Can’t stop thinking about when the first contraction will hit…here for the comments.