I try to explain to people that we don’t have one lifetime, being a child, teen, young adult, 30’s, 40’s, etc are all different life cycles that we mature and grow in. All of our cells get replaced every 7 years, that’s how I base my life and aging.
I really like that. I try to think of myself as born every day when I wake up. Otherwise I can spiral about time, the universe, infinity and the afterlife. I have to stay present or near present or my anxiety takes over. 😂
It’s so wild to hear this because I spiral about the same things, but the born every day thing makes me anxious rather than comforted. It really is all a matter of perspective. I guess the saying is true; one man’s existential crisis is another man’s transcendental enlightenment 😂
Omg I do the same exact thing. Lately life hasn’t been going so great tbh and I stay up too late thinking about all of those things and freaking myself out. Staying present helps.
I agree with everything you are saying except the 7 years bit.
“What the researchers found is that the average age of all cells in the human body is seven to 10 years. That doesn't mean the cells replace themselves every seven to 10 years. At the individual level, cell renewal happens at different rates in the body. Cells in our colon, for instance, are replaced every three to five days, but our muscle and fat cells can take up to 70 years to renew.”
I tried to tell my 70 year old dad that he’s not old yet because I’m still a young adult, and he guffawed. He was like ma’am you are close to middle aged. I said nah, 39 is a young adult!!
Just a baby! You could pivot your career and still retire with 26 years of tenure. You could have a kid and only be 57 when they graduate high school. You haven’t even hit midlife (unless your dad wants you dead before 80).
I struggle with this, at 34 I am young. But, I am also nearing middle age if I go by average life expectancy in the country I live in. Fortunately, I have access that many don't that factor into these statistics. But US is only 76, that's so....young.
It's skewed by childhood deaths. If you've made it to 40 you'll probably make it to your 90s. Assuming you aren't ill and don't have a family history of things that will kill you especially early.
Your problem is the BDD, not the minor changes in your face. BDD is literally your brain lying to you.
I peeped at your profile and it looks like you have MASSIVE anxiety about aging. Your entire Reddit history is about this subject. I’m sure you know this by now, but nothing anybody says to you on Reddit is going to help. You have distorted, irrational thinking patterns around this stuff, so no rational advice is going to help. (You know that saying “you can’t logic someone out of a position they didn’t logic themselves into”? That’s this.)
You need to treat your distorted thinking, not your face. In the meantime, please accept that *your brain is lying to you.* Don’t trust what it’s saying.
Best comment. I'm in recovery and I say that ALL the time. I've I realized my brain is lying to me it's easier to dissect what's real and what's my brain lying to me.
beauty-related subs such as this can exacerbate body dysmorphia. I think it's important to be mindful of social media use, especially those where images are prevalent. wishing you well op!
Talk therapy would be beneficial to you. I don’t think Reddit will cure your fear of aging.
You’re still a millennial and have a powerful fear of aging. I worry about Gen Z, so much of their identity is tethered to their youthfulness, being young is their defining trait. Turning 30 will be a huge struggle for many of them, it’s become this imaginary line between youth and old age. And that perception could not be further from the truth. So don’t worry, you are definitely not alone. Society has contributed to your fears, it’s not all in your head. At all.
My 30’s have been *much* better than my 20’s, fwiw. You’re still young. If you get some help changing your perspective I think you’ll enjoy your 30’s.
Ironically, you've got so many 20 year olds getting the plastic surgery that used to be reserved for 60 year olds that you've got a slew of people in their 20'z who look like people in their 50s trying to look like their 30s.
I’ve always had a huge fear of ageing too, OP, and 30 was the worst year for it. What’s ironically helped the most is…ageing.
I’m 36 now and I worry so, so, so much less about the fine lines which are actually visible now than the nonexistent ones I obsessed over (legit, looking back at old photos there was *nothing* there) at 30.
I can see now that I *still* look crazy youthful! The youngest looking women I know in my age range all do the same basic things; keep your sunscreen game tight, a little bit of light Botox (almost universally forehead only) and limit alcohol. That’s it.
The women I know who look a little older are the ones trying the hardest to stay young. Filler everywhere, eyelashes, nails, hair done every 4-6 weeks, constant facials, self-tanner, and spending hours on intricate makeup every day. Then more filler.
Age has given me so, so many benefits, but the main one is enough confidence in how I look now not to fuck it up trying to look like I did a decade ago.
Please, please don’t fall for the filler scam. *Nothing* will age you more in the long run than filler.
I had a very hard couple of years and at 33, I knew I looked fine compared to my peers but I suddenly aged so quickly. It was hard. Once I got better, I really took skincare seriously about six or seven months ago (just started tret a week ago, the purge sucks!) My skins looking much, much better!! I even got rid of this one wrinkle I got some frowning so much.
I think if you invest in the long game and take care of your skin really well, you'll be great! It's all about consistency and finding the right products for you. Seeing the results I've gotten in such a short time has made me realize I don't need to worry about my skin looking worse than it should for my age.
Unless you have a specific cause that triggers so much aging it’s probably in your head. There is no big change that happens at 30. Research shows there is a tiny uptick in rate of aging around 34/35 - which again can happen earlier or later depending on genetics. Most big changes in aging don’t begin until 40s. Again, it doesn’t even happen that early for some women with amazing genetics. A 30 year old baring any health issues or serious problems is going to be virtually indistinguishable from a 24/25+ year old. I’d get therapy if I had the thought patterns you’re having and make peace with aging. We all are going to age. You can always improve your skin routine, diet, exercise etc. This sounds like a mental thing though
I am waiting for therapy and I am also on medication that is helping a bit
Tbh it’s just really helpful reading people share their perspectives on it!
Like it really helps me to think outside of the thought pattern that consumes me a lot of the time
I just wanna say this bodes really well for therapy helping you!!! It's so great that you are able to hear new perspectives on something that feels really close to home and use that input to adjust your own perspective. Wishing you good luck in breaking out of the patterns that don't uplift you!
I think the key here is to remember that everyone is different. Remember puberty, when everyone was desperate to look older? Some people looked 20 and others looked 10. As long as you’re living, you’re aging. I think it’s awesome you’re doing therapy, because there is no stopping time. There IS a way to use your time more enjoyably, with greater peace and self-love. I hope you find that way!
I’m sure you are way more gorgeous than you give yourself credit for. That’s the way it works. While I haven’t had the exact same thoughts I can definitely empathize as I don’t want to look old one day either. You have a LOT more time before that even begins though. I hope these comments help. And I believe everyone can use therapy for something. I go to talk about work stress and it has helped me immensely 🫶🏻
37 here (almost 38). Early 30’s is still sooooo young. Pushing 40 over here and I’ve never done injectables. Couple rounds of IPL (results were meh for me but make up your own mind).
In my early 30’s I was stressed, binge eating, smoking, and miserable. Let me tell ya, I looked like it.
Over the past few years I quit smoking, started weight training, focused on a whole diet, fixed my sleep habits, and take my vitamins. Do I look 20? Nope! Do I look better than I did in my early 30’s? Yep!
It’s all relative and most of modern society is doing women over 30 pretty dang dirty.
Sure, things start to change over 30 - hangovers can screw up your week, you can’t just eat whatever and collagen keeps you looking fine, new aches and pains arrive from nowhere… BUT you can absolutely mitigate most of these issues through slow, easy changes towards healthier decisions.
If you’re lucky, you’ve got 50-60 years left in the tank. That means you’ve only lived 1/3 (roughly) of your life. To put that in perspective, you could potentially live the same amount of life you have lived up to this point again, twice.
Also, I promise you that this phase starts to pass. What you’re experiencing is completely normal and just a part of growing up. My best advice - have a personal party celebrating the girl you were in your 20’s. Make a list of all the things you loved about her and what you wish you had known/done better. Then, strip down, close your eyes, and stand in front of a mirror. Challenge yourself to see the woman in front of you as if you’ve never met. What do you love about her? What would you like to change? How do you want her to feel? Would you say the things you say to yourself to a woman you’ve never met?
We get to know ourselves many times in life. I bet you’re far more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.
Based on what I've seen many other (good-looking) people post in this sub for the last 2 years, these changes are most likely indeed minor in a perfectly normal way and do not make you look "old" at all. You're probably being hard on yourself, OP :)
Some people might get things done. But I don’t think the avg person does. But people have this concept that everyone looks a certain way at 30. And if they don’t, it must be cosmetic procedures.
But you’ll have to work on it yourself. This mindset.
Also, everyone is different. Everyone ages differently.
Everyone ages differently. Are you drinking water, getting enough sleep, eating well, using sunscreen, and exercising? Do you smoke, eat poorly, stay sedentary, drink alcohol, or otherwise have a stressful life? Those things will age you.
I'd never ever given a smidgen of a passing thought about aging until I'm above 45. I was just too busy stressing about / enjoying life in general ha ha
I honestly sympathize with Gen Z and some of the millenials who feel pressured to conform to the media social standards.
I mean, this is a skincare sub and you are asking a legitimate question. I’m 50 and started seriously focusing on skincare when I was your age. I posted this in another comment but light-handed Botox and filler are totally appropriate to start at 30. I started doing my own peels around your age and even got an esthetician license when I turned 40. Some of my school besties from school inject me and do my lasers to this day. Skincare is a journey and it’s also self-care! Treat yourself to maintenance often & enjoy the great feeling you get from being “refreshed” from time to time!
30s is sooo young. I remember feeling like I was getting older, no longer in my 20s but I was also lucky because social media wasn’t a big thing then. And I never cared about wrinkles or aging then. Didn’t think about it for one minute. I’m thankful I didn’t have to carry that weight at such a young age.
Now I’m 40 and things are different…
That’s a healthy state of mind in my opinion!
I’m 40 and still refuse to hyper focus on aging. I recently went backpacking in Asia and felt like I was in my 20s again. That’s the type of mind state I’d like to stick to going forward!
I feel like I’m getting younger by the years. Even physically, because I used to be a couch potato. I quit smoking & now I go to the gym, run & go hiking. I also care less and have less responsibilities.
My parents and I had this conversation yesterday because I still feel like I’m younger than I am. Like, mentally it hasn’t caught up and sometimes it seems weird. My mom told me she remembers asking her father decades ago when he had just turned 80 whether or not he could comprehend that he was older and his response was no, that he felt just like he always had. My parents said the same. Basically, if you’re blessed with good health, the difference between feeling 20 and 60 might not be as dramatic as we think other than our lifestyle and what we see in the mirror, which is a more gradual change than we realize unless, as you pointed out, we focus on it.
I felt the same way! I thought it was the perfect age. Old enough to be taken seriously but still young enough to use inexperience as an excuse for making stupid choices. I loved being in my early 30s.
Thirties is the time to work on your mental health regarding aging. That’s not to say that you should avoid cosmetic interventions- I love tretinoin and Botox and having a solid skincare arsenal. But it’s the start of a process that gets more visible in your 40s/50s/ beyond, and working towards a healthy mindset has longterm payoff.
Getting good at handling the minor changes while you’re still young means you’ll have the emotional tools to navigate the bigger changes moving forward.
Ok THIS is what I need help with. Outside of therapy, are there books you can recommend? Philosophies outside of “just care less”? I turn 38 next month & am struggling with this HARD.
realize how fucking beautiful a real, embodied and nurturing woman is, no matter the age
You have gifts that 95% of all men do not have. Beautiful intuitive, compassionate, creative, restorative gifts. You are a blessing, a portal for life, something to be revered.
Fuck the exterior. That means nothing compared to what and who you really are and what you’re capable of.
Get tripped up in facade as your value and you find yourself in a trap. That’s all just fancy window dressing for the real value.
I honestly think it can depend on a lot of factors. Your 30s seem to be when your lifestyle really shows on your face and body.
Having kids, stressful jobs, night shift work, working outdoors, not wearing sunscreen, not getting enough nutrition and not caring for your skin, etc.
You may be comparing yourself to someone living a different life than you!
I don't know if it's about having kids or about having more time to yourself and more time for sleep, exercise, self-care in general. I think people with enough money to afford around the clock childcare and house management support, plus time to still exercise and get massages, etc. still are likely to look young with kids.
Yeah, I'm a stahm and I know I would be looking a lot worse for wear if I was still juggling an entire career while doing this. I can put more time into being healthy with my kids tbh.
Piping up again to say many of us have teen children while we are in our mid / late thirties. And teens (in my experience anyway) leave a lot of time for self care! Even better, if you have teen daughters, like I do, they lend you their clothes and beauty products and want to have self care days with you haha.
I bet it is a time thing. Having no time makes you stressed in general! Plus sleep deprivation for some mothers. Some mothers worry about their children a lot more.
Some women have the misfortune of having permanent pregnancy side effects.
My mother has permanent skin changes from pregnancy. Her melasma never went away and her pores stayed enlarged. She says her eyebrows thinned and never came back too.
I was exactly like you, no wrinkles, no rosacea, no correct skincare and perimenopause hit me and now I think I look my age (41) I think all the aging is resumed to hormones and genetics like 80% and our lifestyle and skincare 20%
Sorry if this a bit weird but can I ask how you know when perimenopause starts? I feel like I aged more in the year of 38 than like the previous decade put together and I’m wondering if that’s what it is. Thanks, I feel so silly having to ask smh
100% this. I have noticed this as well.
I am not sure if it is the physical toll of the pregnancy itself or the lifestyle changes after (sleep deprivation, no time for self care), or a combination of both, but on average, I’d say that motherhood seems to age women superficially around 4-5 years compared to their same age childless peers.
This. I gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy and lost 50 pounds right after. As a result the skin on my face is not as plump and tight as it was pre-pregnancy. I also got some hyperpigmentation during pregnancy despite using spf, because the hormones make you super sensitive to the sun. Realistically, I think in one year of pregnancy/post-partum I aged about 5 years, maybe more.
I mean, a sample size of 1 doesn’t really mean anything. I’d say on average, women without kids will look younger than peers with children. Pregnancy results in a loss of nutrients, hormonal shifts, and then raising a child is a whole other beast…
That isn’t to say that motherhood isn’t beautiful. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Your family isn’t going to care if you look a few years older.
Skincare treatments like microneedling and lasers have helped me look younger than botox and filler have. Sun damage ages you, sometimes more than lines imo, and filler isn’t doing anything about that. I think generally taking care of your skin to minimize or prevent discoloration and damage is the best way.
How long did your micro needling and laser treatments results last? Also many treatments did you need? I’m 26m looking into getting either or both treatments.
I’ve been getting treatments once a month for a year and it’s been slow progress but it helps. I work with an aesthetician who tailors my treatments, so sometimes it’s micro needling other times it’s a chemical peel. Plus sunscreen and skincare regime. But I have hormonal acne I’m trying to treat without pills so I’m hyper vigilant.
And I will say it’s not cheap. Luckily I can afford it but I am based in CA and treatments range from 200-400$ each time depending on the service. But I see it as a value to me in lieu of other expenses. (I don’t dye my hair and rarely get nails done)
In terms of why you feel like you're not keeping up:
I suspect the biggest factors are that you're looking at these women in person at a distance of several feet, or online in photos they've hand-picked as flattering + likely have a filter on them.
You're seeing yourself close up in the mirror and all of your photo attempts.
I think maybe women are getting more filler and all that, it is very trendy. But I think this sub and some of the commenters here have really been great about pointing out how filters and social media really skew our perspective. For me at least, it’s been really soothing.
Of course you’re less harsh on most people you pass by every day so it may seem that they look SO MUCH YOUNGER, but we have to remember that our bodies do age and filters online have gotten crazy good. The smooth, pore-less, even tans aren’t always natural! We can aim to take care of our skin without hating it or playing comparison along the way! 💕
I'm closer to exiting my 30s than entering them, never used filler in my life, and still look pretty young (I've seen 29/30 year olds rougher than me).
No, they aren't all using fillers. Some will, some won't but have other skincare in place, some just have natural genes.
But 30 is young by any objective scale. Do minor aging changes crop up? Yes, sure, but none that scream 'OMG OLD HAG WALKING. WE HAVE AN OLD HAG WALKING HERE.'
I suspect you need to address the lying little BDD worm in your head more than start doing drastic things to your face.
I feel this pressure now and I hate to say it but it is largely because of social media. I feel like women, thanks in large to social, are pressured to equate their value with their appearance. It's becoming increasingly worse. And yes, I'm 35 and I feel like I am old and look old. Then I snap out of it and realize that everyone is full of FaceTune and putting their best photos online. Our worth as women aren't based on "aging well" or looking young. I really wish more people would start saying this out loud with me.
I also don't fit social media beauty standards. I'm older, I don't have a small nose and overfilled lips. I have lines on my face and hollows under my eyes. I have had a kid and I don't wear crop tops. I'm learning to be ok with who I am at this moment. I'm not fully there yet, it's a work in progress.
I am 32 and am often told I look 24….use sunscreen!!!! It’s the anti aging secret. I do have a solid skincare routine that I stick to for the past 4-5 years. But all of my esti/derm friends harp on the importance of protecting from the sun!
Not necessarily. A lot of elderly people have trouble keeping enough weight on, which also isn’t good for their health. So it depends on your starting point and how much weight, if it’s too much that it causes high blood pressure etc. a little face fat isn’t gonna kill anyone though.
Late 30s, been using sunscreen religiously since my 20s, got into a lot of confusion at a work site once because the receptionist confused me for a student they were expecting to interview for an internship and not the senior scientist visiting to supervise a procedure.
This is why it kills me inside when I see young women getting buccal fat removal! Having that extra volume in your face as you start aging is pure gold. I regret how much I hated my chubby cheeks when I was younger, because they're my best feature now!
I feel horrible for it, but every time I see someone who's had it done, the only thing I see is mental illness. That's the only thing that could possibly explain it to me, and its really sad. And irreversible! Ladies - leave your face volume alone!
Oooof same here. Still have round face with cheeks but omg the amount of baby fat in my face in my late teens… Finally started to even out in my 20s. Honestly v happy w it now, my face settled in adulthood and looked better than ever :).
Absolutely, I had the fattest cheeks for ages even when I was stick thin. I used to get called “chipmunk cheeks.” I’m glad about it now that I’m starting to lose some facial volume. I’ve had a couple of people ask me if I get filler when they find out my age. Nope! Just started with plenty of extra cheek fat.
I don’t see the point. It’s known that toxin spread is a rare side effect, and for me, Botox is purely cosmetic. I have a low risk tolerance so it’s not worth it to me. If I needed it for migraines or something like that, I’d consult a doctor to weigh the pros and cons.
Sure, sure. Only asked cause you expressed that you liked it, so I wasn’t sure. Best to do what you know is right for your body in all regard, certainly.
I’m 38 and look young (I think… I’m told so, anyway and people are surprised when they learn I have teenage children). No filler, conservative amount of Botox every six months. But there are other 30 somethings don’t look young. I think this is a decade of life where you have to choose to maintain an aura of youthfulness (or perhaps more accurately, an aura of vibrancy), or you choose leave it behind.
I’ve noticed that those who do share similar lifestyle and habits. (For example, I dance at a studio where the average age is likely around 40-45, but you wouldn’t think many of the women were much older than early thirties. I really doubt any of them have filler. Most work out so consistently their metabolism would just eat it all up, I would think!):
- eat lots of veggies
- eat enough fat and protein
- drink tons of water
- wear sunscreen
- no alcohol (or very small amount, like a drink while out with friends once a month)
- no smoking
- good sleep hygiene
- good mental health hygiene (limit stress, tend to your environment, play outside, laugh with friends often, journal, therapy, what have you)
- regular exercise (cardio, strength training, and deep stretching exercises a few times a week)
An aside: It can be difficult for women in their mid to late thirties to do this with small children, which I why I think many people say having children ages you. I had my kids in my early twenties so they are teens now and it’s easy to take care of me because they are so independent. So I don’t necessarily believe children age you, I think it’s more like what stage of life you are in while parenting young children, as well as what social and financial resources are available to mothers of young children.
This! I completely agree with the above. And, to the OP, even though I’m told I look young, I used to share your concerns about aging. Then I was diagnosed with cancer last year and my perspective completely changed - aging is a gift! Do I still invest in skincare and treatments? Yes, but it’s more of a hobby/fun self care thing than something I do out of fear of aging. I feel very lucky to be able to age and (hopefully) get old and wrinkled. I don’t mean to be a downer but just want to offer another way to look at it. :)
^^yes to all of the above. I’m early 30s but I look early 20s. You could say genetics but my siblings all look their age or older and so do my parents. No filler, just a bit of botox in my forehead every 8ish months or so. I only started skincare around the age of 30… I also never drank or smoked anything or did any kind of drugs in my younger years. I never used tanning beds (poor girls who did that in my high school have leathery skin now). I also don’t have kids, but I know the stress of pregnancy, children, and lactation all take a toll on the human body.
If I could add one more thing to the mental health hygiene it’d be this: deep breathing, meditation, or just having some spiritual belief (to anything: positive thinking and affirmations, religion, a higher power, whatever that might be). there is research that supports spirituality to a healthier life!
This is 100000% it. I’m 31 with two kids and I do all of this plus Botox and I consistently get people guessing I’m about 5 years younger. While Botox is a great side dish to this, it’s really about addressing beauty from the inside out.
Nooooope. I’m “allergic” to the sun (porphyria), so I have little/ no sun exposure, and I’ve been really particular about skincare (it’s our largest organ) since I was a child. I’m also a bit on the curvy side, which means my skin looks more full than really thin people (because it IS lol).
Also, because of various chronic illnesses, I’ve been taking collagen (oral, *do not put collagen on your skin*), for 2/3 of my life. I don’t take collagen *for* my skin, but it definitely helps. (Note: *collagen helps with connective tissue damage, helps strengthen your heart & arteries, and a thousand other things*).
I think that we are often our worst critics and we stare at ourselves more critically than other people do. be kind to yourself. I remember thinking I was old when i was 25 and now that i am 33, looking back, i realize i was so young and needed to be nicer to myself.
whenever i get in a trap fall about aging, i go and volunteer. i'm not trying to be patronizing. it just helps me realize that there are more important things in life and sometimes being on the internet which has a huge cohort of very loud, ageist people can distort your reality. 30 is young! If you live to 80, you still have 50 years left! not even half!!! We have this one precious life! and yes, I'm on this board too, I like skincare but your mental health and happiness always comes before your appearance ALWAYS.
Some maybe, but 30 is still very young. Please be kind to yourself. 💓 Aging is a privilege not everyone gets.
I also catch myself getting anxious about my face starting to change because I’m getting older and I feel less worthy and like my prime is behind me. I know it’s hard because you’ve been so used to having a young face your whole life and now you’re starting to see small changes. But everyone goes through it so you’re not alone. Besides, you can still be a smoke show as a 30,40,50,60 year old! Although it does help to feel good about yourself, looks aren’t everything in life.
Some women do. I’m 34 and often get mistaken for being younger, but I haven’t done anything to my face. I think lifestyle is the most important factor.
I’ve noticed small changes when I hit 30. First it was the 11s, then it was the slight smile lines, now at almost 34 the bottom half of my face looks different. To me they are so drastic but in actuality, they’re very subtle and gradual. It’s very NORMAL and you will get used to the changes. I have a pretty good skin routine and I get compliments on my skin all the time so I guess I’m doing something right even though I always feel like I should be doing something more.
Most of the time I feel like I’m aging way worse than people my age but I’ve had unimaginable stress over the last 3-4 years so I chalk it up to that lol
I think the two biggest factors are genetics and lifestyle, not using fillers. My cousin is 3 months younger than me, but she smokes, has a garbage diet, and doesn't care for her skin, and she looks 10+ years older than she actually is.
I’m 35 and I get taken for 25, despite greying hair. For me it’s been tretinoin and daily sunscreen. I’ll never get fillers. Also I don’t have kids which allows me lots of time to relax and take care of myself.
But really, learn to embrace aging because in the end you can’t run forever. You WILL age and look older no matter what. People confuse me for younger but they wont think I’m 25 forever. Accept that time passes and you are temporary.
Until recently I was totally oblivious to the fact that many women my age are getting botox and fillers regularly. Social media bubbles can massively distort your perception of what's normal or common, especially when you consider that Instagram/Youtube/TikTok are all very visually oriented so people putting out a lot of content on those platforms are disproportionally more likely to be invested in doing things for their physical appearance.
I was also shocked the first time I saw signs of ageing at 32. I was in a very anxious moment in my life, and when I looked at the mirror one day and saw the first change on my face it was really horrible to me. I got even more anxious and depressed. I could't look at the faces of older people, they looked like masks to me and I just thought I don't want to be like that, I never thought I was getting old, it was a shock and a horrible moment. Fortunately time passed and I've accepted that I'm also going to age and I just take care of my skin as much as I can, specially using sunscreen and wearing a hat on sunny days, because sun exposure is the most ageing factor for your skin. One must accept that it is our nature and destiny, and there are other important things that one has to offer in this society obsessed with youth and beauty.
We are aging every moment from the moment that we are conceived. Your face and body looked different at age 25 than it did at age 18 than it did at age 12 than it did at age 7 than it did at age 3.
Societal standards (which exist to make you insecure so you settle for mediocre men and breed to create cheap labor, and so that you buy random shit chasing an ideal that isn’t achievable) is the only reason why you feel 35 is “old”.
For what it’s worth (nothing) I am in my early 30s and have honestly never felt so good physically and emotionally. Life is awesome when you stop basing your value on how well you fit into a mold instead of just taking advantage of being alive.
My friend gets mistaken for 25 by all the guys who approach her, and she’s 43 with zero fillers or Botox. I’m 37 and look about 45. Looking younger is a combination of winning the genetic lottery and of course taking care of your skin. Don’t smoke, wear sunscreen daily, eat healthfully. The rest is beyond us, and be mindful that filler often backfires. I’m working to accept reality and treat myself well regardless of how I appear.
I'm 30, and I don't have any standing wrinkles or anything yet. People overestimate how 'old' 30 actually is. I was terrified of turning 30, but I feel as if I've come in to my own. You're good, sis.
After having a kid in my mid-30s, my skin went from super oily to dry. This aged me. Finding the right moisturizing products that didn't clog my pores helped tremendously!
I stopped smoking cigarettes and hanging around ppl who wouldn't stop smoking near me. I drastically did an uptake in water and electrolytes. Stopped scalding myself in hot showers ruining my barrier and stressing my skin out. And I completely stopped wearing all makeup unless I wanted to for fun or had an occasion to dress up for. Even that being said I don't own any foundation bc my skin has completely acclimated to my natural oils and biome. I also take a lot of vitamins.
AND I STAY OUT OF THE SUN OR WEAR SPF 100 LOL
I know it's probably a gimmick but ya girl is beyond pale and needs it.
But for real in doing all this my hair is now healthier, my skin more supple and dewy, my energy is better, I sleep better, and my eyebrows even filled in naturally (I stopped messing with them and now I'm like who is that with those brows, get it!)
SFBayArea - tret is popular along with sunscreen and medspas. Botox isn't as popular with early 30s in my area but 36+ yes. Fillers aren't as popular in my area either but baby face lifts or threading are popular. There's also an a lot of fresh produce (even at my food banks along with organic or gluten free items), healthier eating options overall & outdoor stuff to stay "active" here so it's easy to remain skin friendly overall.
Unless the filler is done very tastefully, it tends to age young women and make them look older. I think there's a lot of things that you should try before jumping to filler.
Are you seeing it in person or on social media? Cause we are getting a pretty warped sense of “normal” nowadays because of filters. I keep this post saved for just this reason.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Instagramreality/s/mrdEpuAQ9T
30 is very young. I'm 39 and I'm also pretty freakin young! I personally feel a lot more confident as my face ages, I think aging looks beautiful on women, especially in the face. If you're not aging in a way that you feel good about, there is one thing that really is the deciding factor - sunscreen. Just wear sunscreen. And try to embrace it - aging is beautiful and a privilege!
Not all of us are getting fillers.
Some just use tretinoin and spf every day.
38 year old woman here 🙋🏻♀️. No wrinkles (yet) and pretty nice skin for now.
I honestly think there are a few factors involved in having visible aging signs at my age. I have some friends younger than me with not the greatest skin, but they have also bad habits and it shows. Or maybe they just don't take care at all of their skin. While I do have good genes regarding skin, nothing would matter if I didn't take care of it.
This might be rude but all of my friends of the same age who have had work- Botox or filler- look older than me. I get carded and comments every time they see my age on my ID. Granted, I don’t have kids yet.
I’m 37 and all weekend kept being told how pretty I am. I had a meltdown about 37, but literally, I don’t look drastically different. Yes, I notice changes, but they aren’t changes that make me look “old”, I just don’t look like I did at 30 anymore, when I looked 25. We all have different genetics and I don’t have kids, so I do believe that has to do with my more youthful appearance, but even still, there are women my age with kids who look even younger than I do. Point being, enjoy your looks and being 30, this decade is amazing. Please get support if you need it bc unless you have a lifestyle or health conditions that are prematurely aging you 30 is not the age to get hung up on looking old.
30s is young, and I think media has really warped our idea of what 20s and 30s looks like. A lot of TV teenagers are in their late 20s to early 30s, and I think that makes people think that 30-year-olds must look far older than that because obviously 30 is older than 18.
I personally am 30, and frequently have people think I’m in my late teens to early 20s. I have not had any fillers, Botox, cosmetic procedures, or professional facials done, and I am pretty bad at keeping consistent with my skincare.
36 and living life to the fullest. Started using some face stuff (creams and serums) in the past two years just because I notice some wrinkles. I’m considering Botox or something along those lines.
Obviously skin texture and aging are different for everyone, and this is gonna sound weird, but I think a lot of looking young in your 30's has to do with the type of face you have, some faces just seem younger than others (even with signs of aging)...I am 31 and a couple weeks ago the TSA agent at the airport asked me if I was under 18. Today at the gas station the clerk thought my ID was fake and said I look 19. Last NYE party this woman thought I was a teenager. Everytime I buy alcohol, the same conversation: "You look so young!" The thing is, my skin is not great, I have bumps and redness, even fine lines, AND I have a lot of gray hairs. Despite these visible signs of aging, these people think I'm young because I just have a kind of young looking face. My friends who don't experience this phenomena are so beautiful and youthful, they just look like gorgeous adult women. I'm afraid I'm gonna hit an aging wall and suddenly look like a baby grandma. Can anyone else relate?
I’m 37. Consistently people are shocked when they find out how old I am, and it’s not in a “omg like no you’re so young!” way. I pretty much froze at age 31 and looked the same as I did then.
All of that changed this year because I have a wicked case of perioral dermatitis I cannot get rid of. After decades of taking great care of my skin and never having issues, this has forced me to use only the simplest products. I can’t do my masks or treatments or anything. Combining that with a high stress job, I started aging rapidly. I tried dysport this month and per a friend “look back to normal” 😂 My point being you can for sure slow things down with a skincare routine that doesn’t include needles— just know those solutions only work if you can stick with them. I also eat plantbased and stay active (nothing too crazy, just yoga and a lot of walking), which I imagine helps.
No. Premature aging such as wrinkles or sagging or volume loss etc isn't the norm in one's thirties unless there are external factors like unhealthy diet and lifestyle and/or other intrinsic health issues.
Signs of aging is largely genetic. I am 30, no filler/Botox, and get mistaken as a teenager often. I have two children and I have gotten some nasty looks and snarky remarks from people thinking I’m a teen mom. I do have some fine lines around my eyes which aren’t really noticeable unless I’m smiling. My mom is 56 and doesn’t look a day over 40. My sister is 34 and looks like she’s in her mid to early 20s. We have good genetics. But we also all take very good care of our skin.
Our perception of aging has become so distorted by social media and the “need” to fill our face up with things we don’t need. 90% of the things we see online are edited or filtered anyway so what you see there isn’t even real. And yea, 30s is still young.
I think not being underweight and having a healthy BMI keeps people looking younger. Even being a little overweight would be better than being underweight.
Yes. I’ve always had an extra 5-10lbs to lose, but while I have to make an effort to love it on my belly, and hips, I do love it on my face! Haha.
I think the French have a saying: that there will come a point when every woman must choose between her face, or her ass (haha).
Lucky for most of us, we live in an age of big bum positivity, so why not both? 🤷🏻♀️😁
I'm 33 and often get told I look 21 (I'm in school so I guess people assume I'm the same age as my peers). I have never had filler. I think it's 90% genetics (my mom looks 45 at 65) and 10% daily sunscreen use.
Filler is more likely to age you imo. The people who are the most shocked at my age are my age and have dermal fillers and other tweakments.
Early 30’s is young - if you’re seeing people who look remarkably young for their age it’s probably a mix of 1. genetics and 2. lifestyle (meaning they have more time to take care of themselves for one reason or another/maybe they don’t drink or have never smoked/ don’t have kids/ maybe they’ve been using sunscreen religiously since their teens/ never did the tanning bed thing - whatever it may be)
I look young for my age (but not like a child - just early/mid 20’s) but it’s genetic (both of my parents look young and I have a connective tissue disorder) AND I’ve been using sunscreen since my teens because I had acne and used benzoyl peroxide AND I never smoked AND I don’t have kids.
So - like the other comments say you’re probably being hard on yourself. Also - I don’t think there’s a big secret you’re not being let in on - it’s all very individual.
I feel the same and I’m 37 and have BD. It’s been rough. I got a red light mask and started taking collagen and feel like it’s helped. I also use retinol!
Something to keep in mind is we remember our 20’s through the lenses of the technology of the time. Literally. The selfies we took in 2016 were filtered (some phones did it automatically) and lower quality. We always had texture and tiny lines under our eyes and maybe broken capillaries but it didn’t show in our photos. Our photos now are ultra HD so we see everything - and notice more the natural signs of aging. (A lot of us also wore super heavy makeup that removed ALL visible signs of imperfection!)
Keeping this in mind, I think our generation also smokes less and doesn’t vape like the younger generation does. We grew up understanding the importance of sunscreen and kept a lot of those habits into adulthood. When I was a teen my ONLY moisturizer was a heavy white sunscreen that smelled like coconut perfume. Not great but kept my skin protected!
I’m turning 35 on Saturday and do not have any forehead or facial wrinkles but my eyes do crinkle when I grin. I am not a facially expressive person so my eyebrows aren’t always flying around my forehead when I talk. No fillers, no Botox. I have had a skincare routine since I was 12. I don’t smoke and I rarely drink. My skin is a little less taught and my pores are bigger, and I have more broken capillaries, but I still have loads of cheek fat left in the buccal area and I think this also greatly contributes to youthfulness.
30s is still young and I imagine you don't think you look as young as some other women because you pick apart your own appearance and look very closely and aren't doing that to others!
30s is young! I’m 38 and my skin still looks great, hardly no wrinkles.
I go out of my way to take care of my skin daily though. I always use my skincare morning and evening. I started retinol at age 28 and then got Botox around age 35ish. I use facial oils, retinol/retinol alternatives, peptides, and chemical exfoliants to keep my skin in check.
I was probably my most beautiful in my late 20s, early 30s, that’s when you can really see your bone structure and you’re still so young. In my 40s, I need make up and a skin care routine to not look tired and older. I haven’t started botox and fillers since I’m still nursing and they said not to start botox until I stop. I bet you look a lot younger than you think you do
Of course 30s are still young. Some of them have fillers and/or other procedures. Some are genetically blessed. Some have been wearing sunscreen and had a consistent skincare routine since they were young teenagers.
Don’t forget about lifestyle. Drinking, smoking, general sun avoidance or not, stress levels, diet, exercise.
I am turning 35 in two weeks and I recently learned that many of my newer coworkers thought I was around 25. I do not have any fillers or other cosmetic procedures/injectables. I fully plan on it at some point when I feel like I need to though. Much of it is genetics, absolutely. I will not discount that. But I’ve also been wearing sunscreen daily since I was 22, keep very well moisturized, prescription tret, always take makeup off and wash my face at night, don’t smoke, don’t drink very much, and overall have fairly low stress most of the time. I also don’t have kids yet. For many of the women my age I know, that does seem to cause more visible aging. I’m trying right now and kind of dreading that tbh but it is what it is.
30s is not old. Most people look young in their 30s because they are young.
PSA…fillers don’t always “dissolve”. Proceed with caution. I received my 1st fillers after my 1st child at 34 because I looked “tired”. I’m currently seeking out a plastic surgeon to correct migrated fillers injected several years ago. I’ve only received small amounts of fillers (only 3 times over 10 years). The fillers are STILL in my skin and have migrated. And it looks horrible now and is very aging. Definitely a poor choice to get fillers and completely regret it as I was misinformed about fillers dissolving on their own.
35 and look much younger - have melanated skin and obsessed with sunscreen which helps a lot. I ALSO have a tiny bit of natural under eye filler - got it done at 31. Looks great and no one can tell. Botox for crows feet is next later this year.
I’m a huge proponent of very limited, natural-looking interventions as you age. The key is finding a doctor you trust - I don’t look for deals or go to med-spas, I see a board-certified plastic surgeon who advises me appropriately.
You’ve started thinking about it at a good time. I made the mistake and didn’t care/notice those minor ageing changes, now I’m going to be 42 and I look OLD. The only reference I have for people your age are the younger mums in the playground. Most of those get fillers, Botox, skin vitamin injections etc loads of stuff and they look in their 20s. But they’re obsessed about appearances. My advice is, if you don’t already, have a good skin care routine. Wash daily, moisturise, quality wrinkle cream etc but ultimately it’s genes. If your parents aged well, you prob will. OR get Botox. 🤦♀️ Plus, if you recently suffered stress that can definitely age you, so will having children lol x But yes, in my experience women in their 30s get lots of things done to their face. 🤷♀️And nails lol Hope this helps x
30s are indeed still young. People who say otherwise have an agenda (they hate women and only value them for youth and sex appeal to men).
I'm 39 and people tell me that I look 8-9 years younger than I am. I don't do any filler, or anything beyond basic moisturiser with sunscreen. I also stay out of the sun as much as possible.
The biggest difference that I've noticed is if they smoke, spend a lot of time in the sun or don't do basic skincare, they tend to look older. Filler can age you when you start overdoing it.
30s is young. Something to keep in mind is that you are going to notice a lot more about your face than other people will since you live with it. All I can see is the small web of fine lines developing around my eyes but if I comment on it around friends they’re like “what the fuck are you talking about?” People who don’t know me generally think I’m younger than I am.
And also…..
It’s okay to look “old” as a woman. Society will tell us it isn’t, but it is. We’re worth more than how we look.
A few thoughts:
-Being in your early 30s is still young
-People are wearing sunscreen more regularly nowadays, and a lot of folks who didn’t wear sunscreen in their youth may be doing things like peels and lasers to remove that sun damage
-Genetics plays a big part! I’m 35 and people assume I’m younger, purely because of genetics (I also am not someone who spends a lot of time in the sun)
-Styling and fashion/hairstyles plays into a bit…I watch movies and tv from the 90s, for example, and those “mom haircuts” so many actresses had made them look older. Catherine O’Hara was only like 32 in Home Alone but she looked older due to her haircut and wardrobe.
-Finally, yes, people are getting botox and fillers. But not everyone.
It's mostly genetics. I'm a 33M and always get told I look 25/26, with me wearing a beard. Without I'd probably get sub 25.
Both of my parents looked way younger than they were for most of their life. Now in their 70s it caught up to them a bit, finally, but yeah skin quality is first and foremost genetic
Everyone is different.
If you have specific concerns for yourself, by all means have them addressed, but not because you are trying to keep up with other people
Early 30's is still young. You likely look very young but your unable to see that. I remember being 30 and totally vibing with the way I looked. Did I look 20, no, but not at all in a bad way. When I zoomed in close, I could see fine lines staying when at rest under my eyes. I have lots of pictures I took as I was trying to track it. Now almost 40, those lines are a tiny bit more prominent. But it wasn't until I was 38 that my lines started to get deeper. Skin thinner and crows feet more defined when smiling. But I still don't think I look older than people my age. My husband swears I look 25, but I think he is full of it. I would say you need to try and find a healthier way to approach aging. Because even for me, I always looked young and thought I'd never age. I didn't really hyperfocus on the way I looked or anything, just was happy with it. Then when I started to show real signs of aging (at 6 months postpartum), I kinda freaked out and struggled with it. I got botox when I swore I'd never get it. But a year and half later, I do not have any improvement, but I am starting to get use to the dynamic wrinkles and some that are turning static. But if you are having a hard time now, it will be much harder when real aging happens. I encourage you to get better ways to cope with it.
I was just talking to someone about this at lunch. He said all his gf's friends are getting lip fillers and look like they are 50 now. None of them are even 30 yet. Don't get fillers. Just try and age as gracefully as possible.
I’m 35 and most people think I’m 27. It comes down to genetics. I also don’t wear heavy makeup up anymore, and I keep my skincare simple. I can’t afford beauty treatments so I do what I can to keep my skin hydrated and blemish-free.
And yes 30’s is young. You have a lot of life left.
30s is the new primary school. If your frontal lobe matures at 25, then at 30 you are a kindergartener.
I try to explain to people that we don’t have one lifetime, being a child, teen, young adult, 30’s, 40’s, etc are all different life cycles that we mature and grow in. All of our cells get replaced every 7 years, that’s how I base my life and aging.
I really like that. I try to think of myself as born every day when I wake up. Otherwise I can spiral about time, the universe, infinity and the afterlife. I have to stay present or near present or my anxiety takes over. 😂
It’s so wild to hear this because I spiral about the same things, but the born every day thing makes me anxious rather than comforted. It really is all a matter of perspective. I guess the saying is true; one man’s existential crisis is another man’s transcendental enlightenment 😂
Omg I do the same exact thing. Lately life hasn’t been going so great tbh and I stay up too late thinking about all of those things and freaking myself out. Staying present helps.
4-7-8 breathing for those late nights and remember the only way through is through. Sending you sweet dreams!
Thank you!! :)
I agree with everything you are saying except the 7 years bit. “What the researchers found is that the average age of all cells in the human body is seven to 10 years. That doesn't mean the cells replace themselves every seven to 10 years. At the individual level, cell renewal happens at different rates in the body. Cells in our colon, for instance, are replaced every three to five days, but our muscle and fat cells can take up to 70 years to renew.”
That’s deep
I tried to tell my 70 year old dad that he’s not old yet because I’m still a young adult, and he guffawed. He was like ma’am you are close to middle aged. I said nah, 39 is a young adult!!
Just a baby! You could pivot your career and still retire with 26 years of tenure. You could have a kid and only be 57 when they graduate high school. You haven’t even hit midlife (unless your dad wants you dead before 80).
I appreciate that.
39 here and I REALLY needs to hear that! Never thought of it as a glass 1/2 full scenario so thank you for that my dear!!!
I'm glad to hear it because I still haven't managed to find my career.
I struggle with this, at 34 I am young. But, I am also nearing middle age if I go by average life expectancy in the country I live in. Fortunately, I have access that many don't that factor into these statistics. But US is only 76, that's so....young.
It's skewed by childhood deaths. If you've made it to 40 you'll probably make it to your 90s. Assuming you aren't ill and don't have a family history of things that will kill you especially early.
I've heard "middle age" is supposed to refer to middle adulthood and not the middle of one's life, so we're not there yet (I'm also 39).
Yay!!!!
No, it's because being in your 30s *is* young.
I’m just having a really time dealing with the minor aging changes that come with 30
Your problem is the BDD, not the minor changes in your face. BDD is literally your brain lying to you. I peeped at your profile and it looks like you have MASSIVE anxiety about aging. Your entire Reddit history is about this subject. I’m sure you know this by now, but nothing anybody says to you on Reddit is going to help. You have distorted, irrational thinking patterns around this stuff, so no rational advice is going to help. (You know that saying “you can’t logic someone out of a position they didn’t logic themselves into”? That’s this.) You need to treat your distorted thinking, not your face. In the meantime, please accept that *your brain is lying to you.* Don’t trust what it’s saying.
Best comment. I'm in recovery and I say that ALL the time. I've I realized my brain is lying to me it's easier to dissect what's real and what's my brain lying to me.
Thank you this really means a lot <3
beauty-related subs such as this can exacerbate body dysmorphia. I think it's important to be mindful of social media use, especially those where images are prevalent. wishing you well op!
Talk therapy would be beneficial to you. I don’t think Reddit will cure your fear of aging. You’re still a millennial and have a powerful fear of aging. I worry about Gen Z, so much of their identity is tethered to their youthfulness, being young is their defining trait. Turning 30 will be a huge struggle for many of them, it’s become this imaginary line between youth and old age. And that perception could not be further from the truth. So don’t worry, you are definitely not alone. Society has contributed to your fears, it’s not all in your head. At all. My 30’s have been *much* better than my 20’s, fwiw. You’re still young. If you get some help changing your perspective I think you’ll enjoy your 30’s.
Ironically, you've got so many 20 year olds getting the plastic surgery that used to be reserved for 60 year olds that you've got a slew of people in their 20'z who look like people in their 50s trying to look like their 30s.
I’ve always had a huge fear of ageing too, OP, and 30 was the worst year for it. What’s ironically helped the most is…ageing. I’m 36 now and I worry so, so, so much less about the fine lines which are actually visible now than the nonexistent ones I obsessed over (legit, looking back at old photos there was *nothing* there) at 30. I can see now that I *still* look crazy youthful! The youngest looking women I know in my age range all do the same basic things; keep your sunscreen game tight, a little bit of light Botox (almost universally forehead only) and limit alcohol. That’s it. The women I know who look a little older are the ones trying the hardest to stay young. Filler everywhere, eyelashes, nails, hair done every 4-6 weeks, constant facials, self-tanner, and spending hours on intricate makeup every day. Then more filler. Age has given me so, so many benefits, but the main one is enough confidence in how I look now not to fuck it up trying to look like I did a decade ago. Please, please don’t fall for the filler scam. *Nothing* will age you more in the long run than filler.
I had a very hard couple of years and at 33, I knew I looked fine compared to my peers but I suddenly aged so quickly. It was hard. Once I got better, I really took skincare seriously about six or seven months ago (just started tret a week ago, the purge sucks!) My skins looking much, much better!! I even got rid of this one wrinkle I got some frowning so much. I think if you invest in the long game and take care of your skin really well, you'll be great! It's all about consistency and finding the right products for you. Seeing the results I've gotten in such a short time has made me realize I don't need to worry about my skin looking worse than it should for my age.
Unless you have a specific cause that triggers so much aging it’s probably in your head. There is no big change that happens at 30. Research shows there is a tiny uptick in rate of aging around 34/35 - which again can happen earlier or later depending on genetics. Most big changes in aging don’t begin until 40s. Again, it doesn’t even happen that early for some women with amazing genetics. A 30 year old baring any health issues or serious problems is going to be virtually indistinguishable from a 24/25+ year old. I’d get therapy if I had the thought patterns you’re having and make peace with aging. We all are going to age. You can always improve your skin routine, diet, exercise etc. This sounds like a mental thing though
I am waiting for therapy and I am also on medication that is helping a bit Tbh it’s just really helpful reading people share their perspectives on it! Like it really helps me to think outside of the thought pattern that consumes me a lot of the time
I just wanna say this bodes really well for therapy helping you!!! It's so great that you are able to hear new perspectives on something that feels really close to home and use that input to adjust your own perspective. Wishing you good luck in breaking out of the patterns that don't uplift you!
I think the key here is to remember that everyone is different. Remember puberty, when everyone was desperate to look older? Some people looked 20 and others looked 10. As long as you’re living, you’re aging. I think it’s awesome you’re doing therapy, because there is no stopping time. There IS a way to use your time more enjoyably, with greater peace and self-love. I hope you find that way!
I’m sure you are way more gorgeous than you give yourself credit for. That’s the way it works. While I haven’t had the exact same thoughts I can definitely empathize as I don’t want to look old one day either. You have a LOT more time before that even begins though. I hope these comments help. And I believe everyone can use therapy for something. I go to talk about work stress and it has helped me immensely 🫶🏻
37 here (almost 38). Early 30’s is still sooooo young. Pushing 40 over here and I’ve never done injectables. Couple rounds of IPL (results were meh for me but make up your own mind). In my early 30’s I was stressed, binge eating, smoking, and miserable. Let me tell ya, I looked like it. Over the past few years I quit smoking, started weight training, focused on a whole diet, fixed my sleep habits, and take my vitamins. Do I look 20? Nope! Do I look better than I did in my early 30’s? Yep! It’s all relative and most of modern society is doing women over 30 pretty dang dirty. Sure, things start to change over 30 - hangovers can screw up your week, you can’t just eat whatever and collagen keeps you looking fine, new aches and pains arrive from nowhere… BUT you can absolutely mitigate most of these issues through slow, easy changes towards healthier decisions. If you’re lucky, you’ve got 50-60 years left in the tank. That means you’ve only lived 1/3 (roughly) of your life. To put that in perspective, you could potentially live the same amount of life you have lived up to this point again, twice. Also, I promise you that this phase starts to pass. What you’re experiencing is completely normal and just a part of growing up. My best advice - have a personal party celebrating the girl you were in your 20’s. Make a list of all the things you loved about her and what you wish you had known/done better. Then, strip down, close your eyes, and stand in front of a mirror. Challenge yourself to see the woman in front of you as if you’ve never met. What do you love about her? What would you like to change? How do you want her to feel? Would you say the things you say to yourself to a woman you’ve never met? We get to know ourselves many times in life. I bet you’re far more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.
Based on what I've seen many other (good-looking) people post in this sub for the last 2 years, these changes are most likely indeed minor in a perfectly normal way and do not make you look "old" at all. You're probably being hard on yourself, OP :)
Thank you <3
Some people might get things done. But I don’t think the avg person does. But people have this concept that everyone looks a certain way at 30. And if they don’t, it must be cosmetic procedures. But you’ll have to work on it yourself. This mindset. Also, everyone is different. Everyone ages differently.
Peak beauty is in the late 30s IMO. My wife is 35 and she still drives me crazy with how beautiful she is.
It’s just society’s obsession with youth. I’d be shocked if you look any different at 30 than you did at 29.
Everyone ages differently. Are you drinking water, getting enough sleep, eating well, using sunscreen, and exercising? Do you smoke, eat poorly, stay sedentary, drink alcohol, or otherwise have a stressful life? Those things will age you.
I'd never ever given a smidgen of a passing thought about aging until I'm above 45. I was just too busy stressing about / enjoying life in general ha ha I honestly sympathize with Gen Z and some of the millenials who feel pressured to conform to the media social standards.
I mean, this is a skincare sub and you are asking a legitimate question. I’m 50 and started seriously focusing on skincare when I was your age. I posted this in another comment but light-handed Botox and filler are totally appropriate to start at 30. I started doing my own peels around your age and even got an esthetician license when I turned 40. Some of my school besties from school inject me and do my lasers to this day. Skincare is a journey and it’s also self-care! Treat yourself to maintenance often & enjoy the great feeling you get from being “refreshed” from time to time!
30s is sooo young. I remember feeling like I was getting older, no longer in my 20s but I was also lucky because social media wasn’t a big thing then. And I never cared about wrinkles or aging then. Didn’t think about it for one minute. I’m thankful I didn’t have to carry that weight at such a young age. Now I’m 40 and things are different…
Yeah, when I turned 30 I didn’t think at all about physically aging and was stoked to be a “real adult.” Jokes on me, I still feel like a child lol.
That’s a healthy state of mind in my opinion! I’m 40 and still refuse to hyper focus on aging. I recently went backpacking in Asia and felt like I was in my 20s again. That’s the type of mind state I’d like to stick to going forward!
I feel like I’m getting younger by the years. Even physically, because I used to be a couch potato. I quit smoking & now I go to the gym, run & go hiking. I also care less and have less responsibilities.
I’m 33 and still look for an adultier adult😂
Sometimes at work I get assigned a task and literally think “Shouldn’t one of the grown ups be handling this?” I’m (almost) 38 😅
Hate when I find out I *am* the adultier adult.
My parents and I had this conversation yesterday because I still feel like I’m younger than I am. Like, mentally it hasn’t caught up and sometimes it seems weird. My mom told me she remembers asking her father decades ago when he had just turned 80 whether or not he could comprehend that he was older and his response was no, that he felt just like he always had. My parents said the same. Basically, if you’re blessed with good health, the difference between feeling 20 and 60 might not be as dramatic as we think other than our lifestyle and what we see in the mirror, which is a more gradual change than we realize unless, as you pointed out, we focus on it.
Yep, major stress and health problems will age you more quickly-source: my life lol 😂
I felt the same way! I thought it was the perfect age. Old enough to be taken seriously but still young enough to use inexperience as an excuse for making stupid choices. I loved being in my early 30s.
Try having your 39th birthday coming up and thinking for most of the year you were turning 38. I think I blocked it out tbh.
Haha i remember at some point i kept on forgetting how old i was as well 😂
We are ALL forgetting! I had so much anxiety about turning 38 that I basically wasted my entire year of being 37 😅
Thirties is the time to work on your mental health regarding aging. That’s not to say that you should avoid cosmetic interventions- I love tretinoin and Botox and having a solid skincare arsenal. But it’s the start of a process that gets more visible in your 40s/50s/ beyond, and working towards a healthy mindset has longterm payoff. Getting good at handling the minor changes while you’re still young means you’ll have the emotional tools to navigate the bigger changes moving forward.
Ok THIS is what I need help with. Outside of therapy, are there books you can recommend? Philosophies outside of “just care less”? I turn 38 next month & am struggling with this HARD.
realize how fucking beautiful a real, embodied and nurturing woman is, no matter the age You have gifts that 95% of all men do not have. Beautiful intuitive, compassionate, creative, restorative gifts. You are a blessing, a portal for life, something to be revered. Fuck the exterior. That means nothing compared to what and who you really are and what you’re capable of. Get tripped up in facade as your value and you find yourself in a trap. That’s all just fancy window dressing for the real value.
I honestly think it can depend on a lot of factors. Your 30s seem to be when your lifestyle really shows on your face and body. Having kids, stressful jobs, night shift work, working outdoors, not wearing sunscreen, not getting enough nutrition and not caring for your skin, etc. You may be comparing yourself to someone living a different life than you!
Having kids is a big one, it seems. The women I work with who are child free in their 30s look much younger than the moms who are a similar age.
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I don't know if it's about having kids or about having more time to yourself and more time for sleep, exercise, self-care in general. I think people with enough money to afford around the clock childcare and house management support, plus time to still exercise and get massages, etc. still are likely to look young with kids.
Yeah, I'm a stahm and I know I would be looking a lot worse for wear if I was still juggling an entire career while doing this. I can put more time into being healthy with my kids tbh.
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Piping up again to say many of us have teen children while we are in our mid / late thirties. And teens (in my experience anyway) leave a lot of time for self care! Even better, if you have teen daughters, like I do, they lend you their clothes and beauty products and want to have self care days with you haha.
I bet it is a time thing. Having no time makes you stressed in general! Plus sleep deprivation for some mothers. Some mothers worry about their children a lot more. Some women have the misfortune of having permanent pregnancy side effects. My mother has permanent skin changes from pregnancy. Her melasma never went away and her pores stayed enlarged. She says her eyebrows thinned and never came back too.
I was exactly like you, no wrinkles, no rosacea, no correct skincare and perimenopause hit me and now I think I look my age (41) I think all the aging is resumed to hormones and genetics like 80% and our lifestyle and skincare 20%
Sorry if this a bit weird but can I ask how you know when perimenopause starts? I feel like I aged more in the year of 38 than like the previous decade put together and I’m wondering if that’s what it is. Thanks, I feel so silly having to ask smh
Same here. My face looks very similar to how it did ten years ago.
100% this. I have noticed this as well. I am not sure if it is the physical toll of the pregnancy itself or the lifestyle changes after (sleep deprivation, no time for self care), or a combination of both, but on average, I’d say that motherhood seems to age women superficially around 4-5 years compared to their same age childless peers.
This. I gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy and lost 50 pounds right after. As a result the skin on my face is not as plump and tight as it was pre-pregnancy. I also got some hyperpigmentation during pregnancy despite using spf, because the hormones make you super sensitive to the sun. Realistically, I think in one year of pregnancy/post-partum I aged about 5 years, maybe more.
My friend is 34 with 5 kids and she looks super young and has no noticeable wrinkles. It’s genetics.
I mean, a sample size of 1 doesn’t really mean anything. I’d say on average, women without kids will look younger than peers with children. Pregnancy results in a loss of nutrients, hormonal shifts, and then raising a child is a whole other beast… That isn’t to say that motherhood isn’t beautiful. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Your family isn’t going to care if you look a few years older.
Skincare treatments like microneedling and lasers have helped me look younger than botox and filler have. Sun damage ages you, sometimes more than lines imo, and filler isn’t doing anything about that. I think generally taking care of your skin to minimize or prevent discoloration and damage is the best way.
How long did your micro needling and laser treatments results last? Also many treatments did you need? I’m 26m looking into getting either or both treatments.
I’ve been getting treatments once a month for a year and it’s been slow progress but it helps. I work with an aesthetician who tailors my treatments, so sometimes it’s micro needling other times it’s a chemical peel. Plus sunscreen and skincare regime. But I have hormonal acne I’m trying to treat without pills so I’m hyper vigilant.
And I will say it’s not cheap. Luckily I can afford it but I am based in CA and treatments range from 200-400$ each time depending on the service. But I see it as a value to me in lieu of other expenses. (I don’t dye my hair and rarely get nails done)
In terms of why you feel like you're not keeping up: I suspect the biggest factors are that you're looking at these women in person at a distance of several feet, or online in photos they've hand-picked as flattering + likely have a filter on them. You're seeing yourself close up in the mirror and all of your photo attempts.
I think maybe women are getting more filler and all that, it is very trendy. But I think this sub and some of the commenters here have really been great about pointing out how filters and social media really skew our perspective. For me at least, it’s been really soothing. Of course you’re less harsh on most people you pass by every day so it may seem that they look SO MUCH YOUNGER, but we have to remember that our bodies do age and filters online have gotten crazy good. The smooth, pore-less, even tans aren’t always natural! We can aim to take care of our skin without hating it or playing comparison along the way! 💕
Yes! This. I’ve seen women in their twenties posting photos with very obvious smoothing filters. It’s insane. Your face is already smooth!
100% right about filters and SM. i followed r/instagramreality for a few years and it really opened up my eyes and made me less harsh on myself.
I'm closer to exiting my 30s than entering them, never used filler in my life, and still look pretty young (I've seen 29/30 year olds rougher than me). No, they aren't all using fillers. Some will, some won't but have other skincare in place, some just have natural genes. But 30 is young by any objective scale. Do minor aging changes crop up? Yes, sure, but none that scream 'OMG OLD HAG WALKING. WE HAVE AN OLD HAG WALKING HERE.' I suspect you need to address the lying little BDD worm in your head more than start doing drastic things to your face.
Most people look young in their early 30s, it's very young
I feel this pressure now and I hate to say it but it is largely because of social media. I feel like women, thanks in large to social, are pressured to equate their value with their appearance. It's becoming increasingly worse. And yes, I'm 35 and I feel like I am old and look old. Then I snap out of it and realize that everyone is full of FaceTune and putting their best photos online. Our worth as women aren't based on "aging well" or looking young. I really wish more people would start saying this out loud with me. I also don't fit social media beauty standards. I'm older, I don't have a small nose and overfilled lips. I have lines on my face and hollows under my eyes. I have had a kid and I don't wear crop tops. I'm learning to be ok with who I am at this moment. I'm not fully there yet, it's a work in progress.
I am 32 and am often told I look 24….use sunscreen!!!! It’s the anti aging secret. I do have a solid skincare routine that I stick to for the past 4-5 years. But all of my esti/derm friends harp on the importance of protecting from the sun!
I wear it every day and I definitely have very few wrinkles! It’s more the face shape / sagging that’s happening to me and it’s worrying
Keeping your weight up helps. Sagging is due to fat loss in the face which happens as you age.
Yeah but not for you’re longevity unfortunately
Not necessarily. A lot of elderly people have trouble keeping enough weight on, which also isn’t good for their health. So it depends on your starting point and how much weight, if it’s too much that it causes high blood pressure etc. a little face fat isn’t gonna kill anyone though.
Late 30s, been using sunscreen religiously since my 20s, got into a lot of confusion at a work site once because the receptionist confused me for a student they were expecting to interview for an internship and not the senior scientist visiting to supervise a procedure.
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This is why it kills me inside when I see young women getting buccal fat removal! Having that extra volume in your face as you start aging is pure gold. I regret how much I hated my chubby cheeks when I was younger, because they're my best feature now!
Literally - it should be illegal. I know two people who immediately regretted the procedure
I feel horrible for it, but every time I see someone who's had it done, the only thing I see is mental illness. That's the only thing that could possibly explain it to me, and its really sad. And irreversible! Ladies - leave your face volume alone!
Yes! Exactly. One girl was advised to do sculptra after and it made it worse
I literally cannot imagine how distressing that would be.
Girl, I’m with you on the big moon face situation! I’m so glad I just left my chipmunk cheeks alone lol
lol omg me same ... moonface
Oooof same here. Still have round face with cheeks but omg the amount of baby fat in my face in my late teens… Finally started to even out in my 20s. Honestly v happy w it now, my face settled in adulthood and looked better than ever :).
Another round face-r here and so so glad to have that extra fullness now in my 30s!
Absolutely, I had the fattest cheeks for ages even when I was stick thin. I used to get called “chipmunk cheeks.” I’m glad about it now that I’m starting to lose some facial volume. I’ve had a couple of people ask me if I get filler when they find out my age. Nope! Just started with plenty of extra cheek fat.
Genetics and sunscreen usage as well as drinking and smoking play a factor. Edit: do not smoke! And if you have to drink do it scantly🌸
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Have you discussed your concerns with a doctor?
I don’t see the point. It’s known that toxin spread is a rare side effect, and for me, Botox is purely cosmetic. I have a low risk tolerance so it’s not worth it to me. If I needed it for migraines or something like that, I’d consult a doctor to weigh the pros and cons.
Sure, sure. Only asked cause you expressed that you liked it, so I wasn’t sure. Best to do what you know is right for your body in all regard, certainly.
I’m 38 and look young (I think… I’m told so, anyway and people are surprised when they learn I have teenage children). No filler, conservative amount of Botox every six months. But there are other 30 somethings don’t look young. I think this is a decade of life where you have to choose to maintain an aura of youthfulness (or perhaps more accurately, an aura of vibrancy), or you choose leave it behind. I’ve noticed that those who do share similar lifestyle and habits. (For example, I dance at a studio where the average age is likely around 40-45, but you wouldn’t think many of the women were much older than early thirties. I really doubt any of them have filler. Most work out so consistently their metabolism would just eat it all up, I would think!): - eat lots of veggies - eat enough fat and protein - drink tons of water - wear sunscreen - no alcohol (or very small amount, like a drink while out with friends once a month) - no smoking - good sleep hygiene - good mental health hygiene (limit stress, tend to your environment, play outside, laugh with friends often, journal, therapy, what have you) - regular exercise (cardio, strength training, and deep stretching exercises a few times a week) An aside: It can be difficult for women in their mid to late thirties to do this with small children, which I why I think many people say having children ages you. I had my kids in my early twenties so they are teens now and it’s easy to take care of me because they are so independent. So I don’t necessarily believe children age you, I think it’s more like what stage of life you are in while parenting young children, as well as what social and financial resources are available to mothers of young children.
This! I completely agree with the above. And, to the OP, even though I’m told I look young, I used to share your concerns about aging. Then I was diagnosed with cancer last year and my perspective completely changed - aging is a gift! Do I still invest in skincare and treatments? Yes, but it’s more of a hobby/fun self care thing than something I do out of fear of aging. I feel very lucky to be able to age and (hopefully) get old and wrinkled. I don’t mean to be a downer but just want to offer another way to look at it. :)
^^yes to all of the above. I’m early 30s but I look early 20s. You could say genetics but my siblings all look their age or older and so do my parents. No filler, just a bit of botox in my forehead every 8ish months or so. I only started skincare around the age of 30… I also never drank or smoked anything or did any kind of drugs in my younger years. I never used tanning beds (poor girls who did that in my high school have leathery skin now). I also don’t have kids, but I know the stress of pregnancy, children, and lactation all take a toll on the human body. If I could add one more thing to the mental health hygiene it’d be this: deep breathing, meditation, or just having some spiritual belief (to anything: positive thinking and affirmations, religion, a higher power, whatever that might be). there is research that supports spirituality to a healthier life!
This is 100000% it. I’m 31 with two kids and I do all of this plus Botox and I consistently get people guessing I’m about 5 years younger. While Botox is a great side dish to this, it’s really about addressing beauty from the inside out.
Thirties are young. Also, remember, if your looks are the most interesting thing about you, then you’re doing it wrong. Everyone ages.
Nooooope. I’m “allergic” to the sun (porphyria), so I have little/ no sun exposure, and I’ve been really particular about skincare (it’s our largest organ) since I was a child. I’m also a bit on the curvy side, which means my skin looks more full than really thin people (because it IS lol). Also, because of various chronic illnesses, I’ve been taking collagen (oral, *do not put collagen on your skin*), for 2/3 of my life. I don’t take collagen *for* my skin, but it definitely helps. (Note: *collagen helps with connective tissue damage, helps strengthen your heart & arteries, and a thousand other things*).
What collagen do you take, if I may ask?
I think that we are often our worst critics and we stare at ourselves more critically than other people do. be kind to yourself. I remember thinking I was old when i was 25 and now that i am 33, looking back, i realize i was so young and needed to be nicer to myself. whenever i get in a trap fall about aging, i go and volunteer. i'm not trying to be patronizing. it just helps me realize that there are more important things in life and sometimes being on the internet which has a huge cohort of very loud, ageist people can distort your reality. 30 is young! If you live to 80, you still have 50 years left! not even half!!! We have this one precious life! and yes, I'm on this board too, I like skincare but your mental health and happiness always comes before your appearance ALWAYS.
Some maybe, but 30 is still very young. Please be kind to yourself. 💓 Aging is a privilege not everyone gets. I also catch myself getting anxious about my face starting to change because I’m getting older and I feel less worthy and like my prime is behind me. I know it’s hard because you’ve been so used to having a young face your whole life and now you’re starting to see small changes. But everyone goes through it so you’re not alone. Besides, you can still be a smoke show as a 30,40,50,60 year old! Although it does help to feel good about yourself, looks aren’t everything in life.
I’m 33 and I’ve been working indoors my whole life. I look young bc i have literally not had my moment in the sun lol.
Some women do. I’m 34 and often get mistaken for being younger, but I haven’t done anything to my face. I think lifestyle is the most important factor.
I’ve noticed small changes when I hit 30. First it was the 11s, then it was the slight smile lines, now at almost 34 the bottom half of my face looks different. To me they are so drastic but in actuality, they’re very subtle and gradual. It’s very NORMAL and you will get used to the changes. I have a pretty good skin routine and I get compliments on my skin all the time so I guess I’m doing something right even though I always feel like I should be doing something more.
Same I’ll be 34 this year and really starting to notice. Feels like I woke up one morning and said “are these fucking jowls?” 😭🤣
It was a shock. But then I noticed that everyone my age is going through the same thing. I blame the times we live in lol.
Most of the time I feel like I’m aging way worse than people my age but I’ve had unimaginable stress over the last 3-4 years so I chalk it up to that lol
I feel that. I’m sure you’re not though. We are our own worst critic.
I think the two biggest factors are genetics and lifestyle, not using fillers. My cousin is 3 months younger than me, but she smokes, has a garbage diet, and doesn't care for her skin, and she looks 10+ years older than she actually is.
I’m 35 and I get taken for 25, despite greying hair. For me it’s been tretinoin and daily sunscreen. I’ll never get fillers. Also I don’t have kids which allows me lots of time to relax and take care of myself. But really, learn to embrace aging because in the end you can’t run forever. You WILL age and look older no matter what. People confuse me for younger but they wont think I’m 25 forever. Accept that time passes and you are temporary.
Until recently I was totally oblivious to the fact that many women my age are getting botox and fillers regularly. Social media bubbles can massively distort your perception of what's normal or common, especially when you consider that Instagram/Youtube/TikTok are all very visually oriented so people putting out a lot of content on those platforms are disproportionally more likely to be invested in doing things for their physical appearance.
Race & melanin make a big difference. As does sun exposure.
30s are still quite young. Really, they are. 100%.
Very, very young.
Absolutely not
I was also shocked the first time I saw signs of ageing at 32. I was in a very anxious moment in my life, and when I looked at the mirror one day and saw the first change on my face it was really horrible to me. I got even more anxious and depressed. I could't look at the faces of older people, they looked like masks to me and I just thought I don't want to be like that, I never thought I was getting old, it was a shock and a horrible moment. Fortunately time passed and I've accepted that I'm also going to age and I just take care of my skin as much as I can, specially using sunscreen and wearing a hat on sunny days, because sun exposure is the most ageing factor for your skin. One must accept that it is our nature and destiny, and there are other important things that one has to offer in this society obsessed with youth and beauty.
Thank you it’s taking so much strength to accept that our bodies get old I just feel like it’s so unfair that it happens so early
We are aging every moment from the moment that we are conceived. Your face and body looked different at age 25 than it did at age 18 than it did at age 12 than it did at age 7 than it did at age 3. Societal standards (which exist to make you insecure so you settle for mediocre men and breed to create cheap labor, and so that you buy random shit chasing an ideal that isn’t achievable) is the only reason why you feel 35 is “old”. For what it’s worth (nothing) I am in my early 30s and have honestly never felt so good physically and emotionally. Life is awesome when you stop basing your value on how well you fit into a mold instead of just taking advantage of being alive.
My friend gets mistaken for 25 by all the guys who approach her, and she’s 43 with zero fillers or Botox. I’m 37 and look about 45. Looking younger is a combination of winning the genetic lottery and of course taking care of your skin. Don’t smoke, wear sunscreen daily, eat healthfully. The rest is beyond us, and be mindful that filler often backfires. I’m working to accept reality and treat myself well regardless of how I appear.
I'm 30, and I don't have any standing wrinkles or anything yet. People overestimate how 'old' 30 actually is. I was terrified of turning 30, but I feel as if I've come in to my own. You're good, sis.
I'm 32 and still trying to not be delusional and think I'm going to look drastically different at 35 Society sucks, I blame society.
Oh, yeah, for sure. People show me more interest now than they did when I was 18 or 21. We've been fed a load of lies, 30 is amazing.
Funnily enough I think those that have procedures tend to look older…
I’m 35 and I look young. It’s mostly genetics and having full cheeks. I don’t have any filler/botox but would consider it at a later date.
After having a kid in my mid-30s, my skin went from super oily to dry. This aged me. Finding the right moisturizing products that didn't clog my pores helped tremendously!
I stopped smoking cigarettes and hanging around ppl who wouldn't stop smoking near me. I drastically did an uptake in water and electrolytes. Stopped scalding myself in hot showers ruining my barrier and stressing my skin out. And I completely stopped wearing all makeup unless I wanted to for fun or had an occasion to dress up for. Even that being said I don't own any foundation bc my skin has completely acclimated to my natural oils and biome. I also take a lot of vitamins. AND I STAY OUT OF THE SUN OR WEAR SPF 100 LOL I know it's probably a gimmick but ya girl is beyond pale and needs it. But for real in doing all this my hair is now healthier, my skin more supple and dewy, my energy is better, I sleep better, and my eyebrows even filled in naturally (I stopped messing with them and now I'm like who is that with those brows, get it!)
SFBayArea - tret is popular along with sunscreen and medspas. Botox isn't as popular with early 30s in my area but 36+ yes. Fillers aren't as popular in my area either but baby face lifts or threading are popular. There's also an a lot of fresh produce (even at my food banks along with organic or gluten free items), healthier eating options overall & outdoor stuff to stay "active" here so it's easy to remain skin friendly overall.
Unless the filler is done very tastefully, it tends to age young women and make them look older. I think there's a lot of things that you should try before jumping to filler.
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Botox not filler
Are you seeing it in person or on social media? Cause we are getting a pretty warped sense of “normal” nowadays because of filters. I keep this post saved for just this reason. https://www.reddit.com/r/Instagramreality/s/mrdEpuAQ9T
Idk about all - but I look younger at 37 than I did at 27 and it is because of filler ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m going to be honest OP, botox and some conservatively placed filler coupled with medical-grade skincare makes a huge difference.
30 is very young. I'm 39 and I'm also pretty freakin young! I personally feel a lot more confident as my face ages, I think aging looks beautiful on women, especially in the face. If you're not aging in a way that you feel good about, there is one thing that really is the deciding factor - sunscreen. Just wear sunscreen. And try to embrace it - aging is beautiful and a privilege!
No, coz 30 is young
I didn’t start to see any major signs of aging until I hit my 40s.
I'm in my 30s and still look like in my 20s. Never gotten fillers or botox. I have really good genes though
No, it’s a combination of genetics, lifestyle and the fact that you are still young actually.
Not all of us are getting fillers. Some just use tretinoin and spf every day. 38 year old woman here 🙋🏻♀️. No wrinkles (yet) and pretty nice skin for now. I honestly think there are a few factors involved in having visible aging signs at my age. I have some friends younger than me with not the greatest skin, but they have also bad habits and it shows. Or maybe they just don't take care at all of their skin. While I do have good genes regarding skin, nothing would matter if I didn't take care of it.
This might be rude but all of my friends of the same age who have had work- Botox or filler- look older than me. I get carded and comments every time they see my age on my ID. Granted, I don’t have kids yet.
Please seek help. 30s is young, as others have stated. God bless!
I’m 37 and all weekend kept being told how pretty I am. I had a meltdown about 37, but literally, I don’t look drastically different. Yes, I notice changes, but they aren’t changes that make me look “old”, I just don’t look like I did at 30 anymore, when I looked 25. We all have different genetics and I don’t have kids, so I do believe that has to do with my more youthful appearance, but even still, there are women my age with kids who look even younger than I do. Point being, enjoy your looks and being 30, this decade is amazing. Please get support if you need it bc unless you have a lifestyle or health conditions that are prematurely aging you 30 is not the age to get hung up on looking old.
30s is young, and I think media has really warped our idea of what 20s and 30s looks like. A lot of TV teenagers are in their late 20s to early 30s, and I think that makes people think that 30-year-olds must look far older than that because obviously 30 is older than 18. I personally am 30, and frequently have people think I’m in my late teens to early 20s. I have not had any fillers, Botox, cosmetic procedures, or professional facials done, and I am pretty bad at keeping consistent with my skincare.
36 and living life to the fullest. Started using some face stuff (creams and serums) in the past two years just because I notice some wrinkles. I’m considering Botox or something along those lines.
Obviously skin texture and aging are different for everyone, and this is gonna sound weird, but I think a lot of looking young in your 30's has to do with the type of face you have, some faces just seem younger than others (even with signs of aging)...I am 31 and a couple weeks ago the TSA agent at the airport asked me if I was under 18. Today at the gas station the clerk thought my ID was fake and said I look 19. Last NYE party this woman thought I was a teenager. Everytime I buy alcohol, the same conversation: "You look so young!" The thing is, my skin is not great, I have bumps and redness, even fine lines, AND I have a lot of gray hairs. Despite these visible signs of aging, these people think I'm young because I just have a kind of young looking face. My friends who don't experience this phenomena are so beautiful and youthful, they just look like gorgeous adult women. I'm afraid I'm gonna hit an aging wall and suddenly look like a baby grandma. Can anyone else relate?
I’m 37. Consistently people are shocked when they find out how old I am, and it’s not in a “omg like no you’re so young!” way. I pretty much froze at age 31 and looked the same as I did then. All of that changed this year because I have a wicked case of perioral dermatitis I cannot get rid of. After decades of taking great care of my skin and never having issues, this has forced me to use only the simplest products. I can’t do my masks or treatments or anything. Combining that with a high stress job, I started aging rapidly. I tried dysport this month and per a friend “look back to normal” 😂 My point being you can for sure slow things down with a skincare routine that doesn’t include needles— just know those solutions only work if you can stick with them. I also eat plantbased and stay active (nothing too crazy, just yoga and a lot of walking), which I imagine helps.
No. Premature aging such as wrinkles or sagging or volume loss etc isn't the norm in one's thirties unless there are external factors like unhealthy diet and lifestyle and/or other intrinsic health issues.
Signs of aging is largely genetic. I am 30, no filler/Botox, and get mistaken as a teenager often. I have two children and I have gotten some nasty looks and snarky remarks from people thinking I’m a teen mom. I do have some fine lines around my eyes which aren’t really noticeable unless I’m smiling. My mom is 56 and doesn’t look a day over 40. My sister is 34 and looks like she’s in her mid to early 20s. We have good genetics. But we also all take very good care of our skin. Our perception of aging has become so distorted by social media and the “need” to fill our face up with things we don’t need. 90% of the things we see online are edited or filtered anyway so what you see there isn’t even real. And yea, 30s is still young.
I think not being underweight and having a healthy BMI keeps people looking younger. Even being a little overweight would be better than being underweight.
Yes. I’ve always had an extra 5-10lbs to lose, but while I have to make an effort to love it on my belly, and hips, I do love it on my face! Haha. I think the French have a saying: that there will come a point when every woman must choose between her face, or her ass (haha). Lucky for most of us, we live in an age of big bum positivity, so why not both? 🤷🏻♀️😁
It's called being pleasantly plump 💁♀️🥰 lol
I'm 33 and often get told I look 21 (I'm in school so I guess people assume I'm the same age as my peers). I have never had filler. I think it's 90% genetics (my mom looks 45 at 65) and 10% daily sunscreen use.
Really grateful for all of your comment thank you <3
I have friends in their 30s who get fillers and Botox, but most of the time looking younger is going to be from genetics and sunscreen.
I didn’t start Botox or get a little filler until I turned 36 (last year)
Filler is more likely to age you imo. The people who are the most shocked at my age are my age and have dermal fillers and other tweakments. Early 30’s is young - if you’re seeing people who look remarkably young for their age it’s probably a mix of 1. genetics and 2. lifestyle (meaning they have more time to take care of themselves for one reason or another/maybe they don’t drink or have never smoked/ don’t have kids/ maybe they’ve been using sunscreen religiously since their teens/ never did the tanning bed thing - whatever it may be) I look young for my age (but not like a child - just early/mid 20’s) but it’s genetic (both of my parents look young and I have a connective tissue disorder) AND I’ve been using sunscreen since my teens because I had acne and used benzoyl peroxide AND I never smoked AND I don’t have kids. So - like the other comments say you’re probably being hard on yourself. Also - I don’t think there’s a big secret you’re not being let in on - it’s all very individual.
I feel the same and I’m 37 and have BD. It’s been rough. I got a red light mask and started taking collagen and feel like it’s helped. I also use retinol!
Something to keep in mind is we remember our 20’s through the lenses of the technology of the time. Literally. The selfies we took in 2016 were filtered (some phones did it automatically) and lower quality. We always had texture and tiny lines under our eyes and maybe broken capillaries but it didn’t show in our photos. Our photos now are ultra HD so we see everything - and notice more the natural signs of aging. (A lot of us also wore super heavy makeup that removed ALL visible signs of imperfection!) Keeping this in mind, I think our generation also smokes less and doesn’t vape like the younger generation does. We grew up understanding the importance of sunscreen and kept a lot of those habits into adulthood. When I was a teen my ONLY moisturizer was a heavy white sunscreen that smelled like coconut perfume. Not great but kept my skin protected! I’m turning 35 on Saturday and do not have any forehead or facial wrinkles but my eyes do crinkle when I grin. I am not a facially expressive person so my eyebrows aren’t always flying around my forehead when I talk. No fillers, no Botox. I have had a skincare routine since I was 12. I don’t smoke and I rarely drink. My skin is a little less taught and my pores are bigger, and I have more broken capillaries, but I still have loads of cheek fat left in the buccal area and I think this also greatly contributes to youthfulness.
30’s is young. I’m 41 and probably look about my age. I get nothing done.
30s is still young and I imagine you don't think you look as young as some other women because you pick apart your own appearance and look very closely and aren't doing that to others!
30s is young! I’m 38 and my skin still looks great, hardly no wrinkles. I go out of my way to take care of my skin daily though. I always use my skincare morning and evening. I started retinol at age 28 and then got Botox around age 35ish. I use facial oils, retinol/retinol alternatives, peptides, and chemical exfoliants to keep my skin in check.
That’s still very young. My skin looks the way it does I think mostly because of wearing hats and sunscreen.
I have friends in this demographic and they are not my young looking friends. They just look like they have filler.
I was probably my most beautiful in my late 20s, early 30s, that’s when you can really see your bone structure and you’re still so young. In my 40s, I need make up and a skin care routine to not look tired and older. I haven’t started botox and fillers since I’m still nursing and they said not to start botox until I stop. I bet you look a lot younger than you think you do
Of course 30s are still young. Some of them have fillers and/or other procedures. Some are genetically blessed. Some have been wearing sunscreen and had a consistent skincare routine since they were young teenagers. Don’t forget about lifestyle. Drinking, smoking, general sun avoidance or not, stress levels, diet, exercise. I am turning 35 in two weeks and I recently learned that many of my newer coworkers thought I was around 25. I do not have any fillers or other cosmetic procedures/injectables. I fully plan on it at some point when I feel like I need to though. Much of it is genetics, absolutely. I will not discount that. But I’ve also been wearing sunscreen daily since I was 22, keep very well moisturized, prescription tret, always take makeup off and wash my face at night, don’t smoke, don’t drink very much, and overall have fairly low stress most of the time. I also don’t have kids yet. For many of the women my age I know, that does seem to cause more visible aging. I’m trying right now and kind of dreading that tbh but it is what it is.
30s is not old. Most people look young in their 30s because they are young. PSA…fillers don’t always “dissolve”. Proceed with caution. I received my 1st fillers after my 1st child at 34 because I looked “tired”. I’m currently seeking out a plastic surgeon to correct migrated fillers injected several years ago. I’ve only received small amounts of fillers (only 3 times over 10 years). The fillers are STILL in my skin and have migrated. And it looks horrible now and is very aging. Definitely a poor choice to get fillers and completely regret it as I was misinformed about fillers dissolving on their own.
35 and look much younger - have melanated skin and obsessed with sunscreen which helps a lot. I ALSO have a tiny bit of natural under eye filler - got it done at 31. Looks great and no one can tell. Botox for crows feet is next later this year. I’m a huge proponent of very limited, natural-looking interventions as you age. The key is finding a doctor you trust - I don’t look for deals or go to med-spas, I see a board-certified plastic surgeon who advises me appropriately.
You’ve started thinking about it at a good time. I made the mistake and didn’t care/notice those minor ageing changes, now I’m going to be 42 and I look OLD. The only reference I have for people your age are the younger mums in the playground. Most of those get fillers, Botox, skin vitamin injections etc loads of stuff and they look in their 20s. But they’re obsessed about appearances. My advice is, if you don’t already, have a good skin care routine. Wash daily, moisturise, quality wrinkle cream etc but ultimately it’s genes. If your parents aged well, you prob will. OR get Botox. 🤦♀️ Plus, if you recently suffered stress that can definitely age you, so will having children lol x But yes, in my experience women in their 30s get lots of things done to their face. 🤷♀️And nails lol Hope this helps x
We avoid the sun lol. But seriously. No long time in the sun and SPF in the last step of my skincare every morning whether I go outside or stay in.
30s are indeed still young. People who say otherwise have an agenda (they hate women and only value them for youth and sex appeal to men). I'm 39 and people tell me that I look 8-9 years younger than I am. I don't do any filler, or anything beyond basic moisturiser with sunscreen. I also stay out of the sun as much as possible.
No! They are wearing sunscreen since 20, using retinol, eating healthy and working out 4 days a week.
The biggest difference that I've noticed is if they smoke, spend a lot of time in the sun or don't do basic skincare, they tend to look older. Filler can age you when you start overdoing it.
I honestly only get botox.. even then i’m not consistent with it but i’m okay without it
I'm in my early 30s and still get ID checked and colleagues assume I'm 10 years younger. No fillers, but I kept out of the sun and I stay in shape.
30s is young. Something to keep in mind is that you are going to notice a lot more about your face than other people will since you live with it. All I can see is the small web of fine lines developing around my eyes but if I comment on it around friends they’re like “what the fuck are you talking about?” People who don’t know me generally think I’m younger than I am. And also….. It’s okay to look “old” as a woman. Society will tell us it isn’t, but it is. We’re worth more than how we look.
A few thoughts: -Being in your early 30s is still young -People are wearing sunscreen more regularly nowadays, and a lot of folks who didn’t wear sunscreen in their youth may be doing things like peels and lasers to remove that sun damage -Genetics plays a big part! I’m 35 and people assume I’m younger, purely because of genetics (I also am not someone who spends a lot of time in the sun) -Styling and fashion/hairstyles plays into a bit…I watch movies and tv from the 90s, for example, and those “mom haircuts” so many actresses had made them look older. Catherine O’Hara was only like 32 in Home Alone but she looked older due to her haircut and wardrobe. -Finally, yes, people are getting botox and fillers. But not everyone.
It's mostly genetics. I'm a 33M and always get told I look 25/26, with me wearing a beard. Without I'd probably get sub 25. Both of my parents looked way younger than they were for most of their life. Now in their 70s it caught up to them a bit, finally, but yeah skin quality is first and foremost genetic
Everyone is different. If you have specific concerns for yourself, by all means have them addressed, but not because you are trying to keep up with other people
30s is young. So is 40s. And 50s and 60s. 70s on the other hand… is actually still young. 80s, now 80s maybe not so young.
Early 30's is still young. You likely look very young but your unable to see that. I remember being 30 and totally vibing with the way I looked. Did I look 20, no, but not at all in a bad way. When I zoomed in close, I could see fine lines staying when at rest under my eyes. I have lots of pictures I took as I was trying to track it. Now almost 40, those lines are a tiny bit more prominent. But it wasn't until I was 38 that my lines started to get deeper. Skin thinner and crows feet more defined when smiling. But I still don't think I look older than people my age. My husband swears I look 25, but I think he is full of it. I would say you need to try and find a healthier way to approach aging. Because even for me, I always looked young and thought I'd never age. I didn't really hyperfocus on the way I looked or anything, just was happy with it. Then when I started to show real signs of aging (at 6 months postpartum), I kinda freaked out and struggled with it. I got botox when I swore I'd never get it. But a year and half later, I do not have any improvement, but I am starting to get use to the dynamic wrinkles and some that are turning static. But if you are having a hard time now, it will be much harder when real aging happens. I encourage you to get better ways to cope with it.
I was just talking to someone about this at lunch. He said all his gf's friends are getting lip fillers and look like they are 50 now. None of them are even 30 yet. Don't get fillers. Just try and age as gracefully as possible.
I mean I looked pretty young up until 36… then I crashed 😓😑 I don’t know what they’re doing
30s is young.
I’m 35 and most people think I’m 27. It comes down to genetics. I also don’t wear heavy makeup up anymore, and I keep my skincare simple. I can’t afford beauty treatments so I do what I can to keep my skin hydrated and blemish-free.