On one hand, I understand a girl getting mad over someone not trusting them. That's completely understandable.
On the other hand, one of my good friends and coworker of 16 years took his own life after raising a boy for 2 years then finding out at the hospital (for a completely unrelated thing) that the kid wasn't his.
Kid turned 2 and started having some weird symptom. Doctors diagnose some genetic disorder that is pretty rare and apparently for this particular disorder one of your parents has to have it too. Doctors are baffled that neither parent has this disorder and so of course testing is done. When my friend finds out his wife cucked him and he's been living a lie for 2 years he spiraled mentally very fast and killed himself within a month. At his funeral there was lots of drama and yelling. Super fucked up.
Did you talk to the wife after a while? I always find that these kind of people justify their cruelty to themselves and others by calling the ailed party selfish or something similar
Sidenote of autism: I love when people mention something about someone and also mention that there are an ex. 99% there is no causality, but the sentence always implies it:
>Had a german ex who always hated that I undercook my bratwurst and used the wrong glass for beer....
> What could I really say to her that she didn't already know?
Public shaming that she's a 304, and liar, and drove a good person to death over their actions?
The sooner such behaviour is universally condemned we'll have less people committing infidelity.
The kid is innocent. She deserves punishment, but the kid does not.
Benoit was a fucking tragedy. Steroids ate his brain. He loved his family, and wouldn't have hurt them if his brain wasn't fried.
Edit to add: it was pointed out to me that it was CTE that ate his brain. Don't mess with head injuries, folks.
>Why didn't he kill her?
This is the sorta thing i often wonder on hearing stories like this. Like for example, I don't understand why John Q situations don't happen frequently in cases of insurance denials (i mean, it's life and death).
When I ask, just downvotes and hate for asking, but NEVER an answer or even a guess.
Kill her: go to jail, pay child support to her family
Kill kid: go to jail, pay alimony
Don't do anything: raise kid that isn't genetically yours with a wife that cheats on you
Getting married and cucked is the ultimate checkmate in modern society sadly.
A person very close to me who I trust 100% told me that he was doing testing for some non-paternity related DNA shit for some company he was running, in the considerable sample size that they ran they found that the men were not the father around 10% of the time. I found it hard to believe so I pressed him on this a few times as I'd previously heard that it was around 3% but he repeatedly insisted that they had rock hard data from a considerable random sampling and it was about 10%. I still find it hard to believe that it's that high but he sounded absolutely certain of the data and he was president of the company that was doing the dna testing so he definitely had access to all the data and knew what he was talking about.
guess you missed the part about how the testing didn't have anything to do with paternity. It was testing for some sort of genetic disease being passed on to kids, and while they were doing their research they just happened to notice that 10% of the dads weren't the actual dads. They never told the dads they weren't the kid's dads either, they just said "yep you're in the clear, your kid doesn't have your genetic disease" and left it at that.
I was very skeptical about the story, thinking that numbers most probably got exaggerated over time, or some minute details were held back intentionally to make it sound more sensational.
Then, with this comment it lost all credibility.
This is reddit, why did I even give it the benefit of doubt anyway?
Well played, sir...
This is just why it should be mandatory, the father gets the peace of mind that the kid is his without a doubt just like the mother gets naturally, the woman realizes it's just mandatory and not necessary a reflection of her man thinking she cheated on him. It should also be free as it will save a ton of public money on issues RE child support etc.
Actually child support is the number one reason the government doesn't want more paternity tests. Often the real dad is a deadbeat or can't be located, and child support means the government doesn't have to pay for as much of the kids wellbeing. There have been instances of s*cial w*rkers (piss be upon them) not revealing information to the father just because "it's about the needs of the child first".
What do they take the military approach?
"It can't be my baby, I haven't slept with my wife in 11 months and what's more it's black and I'm white"
"Sure it is, it just got left in another 2 months and overcooked"
There’s no reason to involve the mom. Just take a cheek swab when she’s not around and send it off for analysis. Protect yourself without hurting your relationship. Don’t expect an irrational creature to understand.
Once you're on the birth certificate, it's hard in many countries to deny paternity. The government wants someone to pay for that kid and it's not going to be them.
>On one hand, I understand a girl getting mad over someone not trusting them
Yeah, I mean I'm a dude so I probably can't get pregnant and be in the exact same situation. But if a girlfriend wanted to check my phone or something to be sure I wasn't cheating I'd be pretty pissed even though I have nothing to hide besides some hentai. It's the principle of it, I wouldn't want the governement rifling through my shit either even if I know I don't have drugs on me.
"If you're innocent you have nothing to worry about" is a terrible argument.
Having paternity tests be standard practice isn't a bad idea though, because then you aren't implying anything by asking her to have the kid tested. But also I think genetic testing is the smart thing to do in general to screen for potential genetic conditions way ahead of time.
"Of course I've got nothing to hide, but I hate the idea of being expected to prove that enough I'll write four paragraphs about it."
Defs sounds like you've got nothing to hide.
I don't. I'm single, despise cheaters, don't look at anything illegal, and don't buy drugs. I have literally nothing worth hiding, but I still would not want anyone to skim through my phone or search my vehicle.
She was there with the kid and some of her family. Started calm, didn't stay that way for long
Lot of aunts/uncles/cousins looking shiesty, seemed like someone was gonna get stole so I chose a tactical withdrawal. Black people funerals just hit different
Shit's fucked, even had he been a bit more rational he'd just have ended up probably paying alimony and child support for at least 4 years and another 16 for cs. No matter what he'd have to be tied to her and the constant reminder of his broken trust.
Idk if women get that. In some ways It's like the emotional equivalent of getting raped and then having to carry the child to term and be forced to look after it, on top of which you either get labelled a dead beat for abandoning the innocent kid or a cuck if you stuck it out.
and no doubt she accused him of cheating on her every other day too, and if he got angry about it she'd be all "you're being too defensive, you're hiding something".
vile creatures.
>Casually suggest a couple should get an abortion to save themselves the problems that having a child would introduce to their relationship
You: DA JOOS!!
oh bro don't get me wrong it's hilarious, i'm at the point where it makes me laugh more when i'm not sure if im reading some seriously unhinged shit or some dweeb trying to be funny
I once legitimately read a post on 4chan suggesting that shoes were invented by DA JOOS because the true power of white people came from their women walking around barefoot. It wasn't a troll or bait, either. A genuine foot-fetish-fuelled theory.
Legalize extremely late term abortion up until the 117th trimester!
I know some grown adults who should be aborted, and despite what cuckservatives will have you think it's not too late.
This this sort of mild statement that would be downvoted to oblivion anywhere else on Reddit, but... If you don't want your fetus, but you carry to term and give it away, you will make some family somewhere incomprehensibly happy.
my gf knows my phone password and I leave it alone with her in a room all the time. if she wants to look through my phone she has plenty of opportunities to do so. bad example though. Your phone could have sensitive info like your social security number, credit card info, or even just your Google search history with weird questions that aren't necessarily bad but you wouldn't want people to know you were curious about just because it's awkward.
A paternity test only gives one piece of information, you know exactly what you'll find out when you do it. Going through someone's phone is arguably a bigger breach of trust and privacy than a paternity test. For that reason, I'd maybe get a paternity test done but I'd never go through my gf's phone
Even that shouldn't be fully secret to me. If you're planning to buy a house or whatever, you need to know how much money your partner is earning and has saved away. You need to agree how much you can pay out of pocket and how big the loan will be.
But anyone other than your spouse long time partner (preferably married) shouldn't know, including kids, parents, best friends, etc.
At least that's my view.
Anon needs to remember that modern women find greater fulfilment in their pointless make-work jobs at Sheckleberg Inc. than they do in raising their own children.
Anon's anti-semitism is really coming through in this post.
It’s so unfortunate :( It feels like kids really get shafted by all this in not have at least one caretaker who’s reliably always there. Esp if it means having to put a kid in daycare. Way too many horror stories and just capacity for abuse in environments like that. You just can’t trust others, even family, with your kid 100%.
Oh absolutely. I was super lucky that my mom was able to stay at home with my brother and I, and that we had a trustworthy and close family. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to drop your child off at daycare all day and barely ever see them during the week.
I think this is a double edged sword. The paternity test is good if you suspect your partner of cheating, however you better be damn sure before hand because asking for one is basically saying "I think you cheated on me". One one hand you are sure the kid is your's, on the other you destroyed your partners trust in you.
If you're a guy, it makes sense. You want to be sure. You also have to look at it from the woman point of view, she has to cheat on you to get pregnant it doesn't just magically happen.
It's only logical that there would be a stigma attached to it. Accusing someone of cheating on you is a bad look for a relationship.
As someone who hangs out in the drama llama subs, geez, just swab the kid when no one is looking. You'll get your answer and you won't blow up your relationship.
"My Grandfather had degenerative anal leakage encephalitis. We must test the fetus to see if it has it as well." BAM, now you have the kid's information.
You can revoke paternity in a lot of places if you are proven to not be the father, sometimes you can do this without the courts involved at all even if you get the results back soon after they are born. Except France, the cuckolding capital of the world, where it is illegal and you can be put in jail without a court order that is only sometimes given.
You’d be surprised how good at covering up cheaters can be. Do you know what a biological father and a cucked father have in common? A spouse that looked them in the eyes and said they love them. The two are often indistinguishable
The way to do that would be to require it for all children (maybe roll it into genetic disease screening).
Harder for girlfriend to complain when everyone does it since you aren't asking her for no reason.
There's a reason it will NEVER happen and that reason is some unfortunate truths would be revealed. That reason is the same reason the D.O.D in the U.S put out a memorandum advising soldiers to not use home DNA ancestry/testing kits for "data safety concerns". Or the U.S Blood bank releasing a statement against 30% of births being fraudulent... But not the actual data lmao.
Or as the French government puts it upholding ""French regime of filiation and preserving the peace of families." By making them punishable with a 15,000$ fine or a year in prison.
It's almost as if the powers that be are actively covering for a demographic of people. I just can't put my finger on it.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcWI4dG9lMW54aHd4dDNjbWpiNzk2bjdvcmlyZjRqNWYxZzl0ZXFkYyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/14mgxYFJHXGmoo/giphy.gif
>That reason is the same reason the D.O.D in the U.S put out a memorandum advising soldiers to not use home DNA ancestry/testing kits for "data safety concerns". Or the U.S Blood bank releasing a statement against 30% of births being fraudulent...
Militarybros...it's over...
Nah, even just make it opt-out by default is enough. There just needs to be a reason to *not* have to do it because right now it’s seen as there needs to be a reason to *have* to do it. That way it’s the woman who has to request to not have it done, inherently implying she has a reason.
In our current social climate, the best thing to do as a man is probably to do it behind the woman’s back if you suspect it’s yours but obviously just want to check. Only problem is you’d have to wait until the baby is born most likely.
Alternatively you can simply have it put down as a law where if a man finds out his kids aren't his, he is entitled to 10 years of alimony per year of raising a kid that isn't his plus ALL of the woman's assets **including** pre-martial. If she doesn't pay up, into the slammer she goes.
Crisis averted. You don't need to broach the "sensitive" topic of asking for a paternity test but the woman also knows the law will fist her from ass to mouth if she cucks the man.
Alas, that's not the world we live in.
This is too harsh and would never in a million years become commonplace even if the court system was not blatantly biased towards women, but definitely for the safety of the woman there should be some recourse because if you waste 18+ years of your life raising someone else’s bastard, the only recourse is for you to take the matter into your own hands, which has resulted in murder in the past, and I can’t really even blame them for it.
A paternity test is really not a big deal if you think about it and consider the consequences of staying ignorant. Appealing to emotion in such an instance is childish. They can fight or make up after the test results; then the emotions are justified.
It's kind of weird how distrusting your partner is grounds for them to distrust you even more.
I think it's also hard for them to empathize since no woman has ever needed a maternity test.
If a man can be held responsible for not pulling out .5 seconds before an orgasm because a woman revoked her consent then a woman can be held responsible for her behavior during the first trimester.
And the second trimester, and the third, then the postpartum...
At this point I just try to be logical until I can feel myself getting pissed then just leave the room and ice her out till she calms down.
No, it's too late at this point. You'll be fucked by the Family law court. Even if it's not your child, they'll force you to financially support him. In the end it will become very long and costly process to revoke a paternity acknowledgement.
Court priority focused on the financial stability of the child, they don't care who is actually going to pay. If by some miracle you can find real father and talk him into taking responsibility, it's gonna be much easier.
That's why you better take a DNA test BEFORE putting your name on the birth certificate.
Or don't put your name on the birth certificate, and when the kid is born run away into the himalayas, that way if she sues for chill support you can do a dna test and prove the kid isn't yours
Some courts even don't care if the kid is yours or not. Many such cases recently where the state needs the child support kickback and saddles the man currently in a relationship with the mother.
Family court is a sad state of affairs.
In most places within the US you can successfully dispute heritage of the child within a certain amount of time post-birth. You’ll still probably get fucked in the divorce though
> without telling the mother when the kid is born
I'm pretty sure the mother will notice when the kid is born as she's kind of part of the whole process.
A girl will whine and cry about you not trusting her all the way up until Maury gives you the test results, knowing damn well the kid wasn't yours from the start. Regular girls need to start keeping hoes in check if they don't want to keep catching strays.
With that said, OP is a dumbass and fucked up big time with the way he broached this.
“Losing everything for you”.
If she views the miracle of producing a human life as “losing everything”, instead of something which is of infinitely higher value gained, then she’s probably not mentally the right woman to be a mom.
Nah, don't worry.
She knows damn well who the actual father is (or at least narrowed it down to a small handful of guys). She's just gaslighting him so he won't demand the test.
This is why it would genuinely be better for both men and women (just not cheaters) if a paternity test was mandatory.
Better for men as they will always know if it's their kid, and better for women as they won't have to deal with their partner distrusting them.
I honestly think it's a win-win. The only losers are lying cheaters.
Duh. You only want to do blood test for genetic disorders because you have a history of X in your family.
And then get the paternity test.
"I DIDN'T KNOW THATS WHAT NIPP TESTA WERE! I Thought they were just blood tests. I'm an idiot babe! I just want to make sure the baby is going to be healthy because I love you and the family we're going to be"
Or some such crap. Easy recovery for non dumbass.
Genetic tests are gradually becoming mainstream, so having one done to plan for any possible congenital abnormalities and subsequent management isn't a bad idea.
She has (at least one) side dick and she's not sure *at all* it's anon's but he has the best job/would make the best father in her eyes.
HE WON THE PRIZE! He gets to raise the child! Why he so angery whether it's actually his??
Oh, no! The woman will have to give up her illustrious career of sitting at a goddamned desk all day making money for someone else and will instead raise a product of the love between her and her boyfriend… the horror!
society has reached a pretty low fucking point if the reaction to pregnancy is dispair rather than joy. how self obsessed do you have to be being given the gift of a child to just break down in tears "BUT MUH CAREER"
people like this is why we're going extinct and it pisses me off
don't be like OOP's gf, have as many children as you can and be happy
if he maybe saved that question for like a future doctor visit (of which there will be many) or even just waited until she was not crying over her burning career and sky-high hormones it probably would have gone over a lot better. Kind of “adding fuel to the fire” starting up an obviously awkward and delicate conversation at what is currently, the worst moment of her life.
They should be mandatory, they are simple and cheap and effective and can save entries peoples lives.
The guy deserves to know if its their kid or not and they should be able to make an informed decision about their reproductive life.
The kid deserves to know who their actual father is and what their actual family medical history is.
The only people who benefit from the current system are cheating mothers.
I had a relative who is white and his partner was white and they had a black baby. If she had cheated with a white guy he would have never known.
I had an ex who found out those dna testing her grampa wasnt actually her grampa.
People say "its so rare...blah blah" but it does happen and its life changing.
Not going to lie, while I understand the guy, the girlfriend has every right to be angry if she didn't actually cheat.
Even if it's just to be careful, it tells her he does not trust her, that his guard is up around her, and for someone who's supposed to be your significant other, it definitely hurts a lot emotionally
Don't trust a woman, period.
Either you already learned that lesson or you still have some permanent emotional scarring coming your way. Everybody learns eventually.
He could easily play it if he wasnt retarded.
There are many valid reasons for a paternity test, which makes it sus that shes so defensive about it. An accusation is one thing, but he doesnt even think she cheated, so its not an accusation, its just an assumption of one.
Then see it from the other side: Why not give the person whose child your are carrying the reassurance and certainty that you are indeed carrying *HIS* kid? Why not resolve all doubt he might have in a world where men are often forced to raise or at least pay for kids that aren't theirs?
Because you (the woman) feel insulted that he doesn't trust you on this? Trust is to be earned. No once, but time and time again. Men have to be careful in this matter, and refusing or even only getting mad about a paternity test means you cheated and are afraid of being found out, or you disrespect the father of your child by keeping him worrying and in doubt.
The only thing the woman has any reason to be upset over (aside from the bf not trusting her) is the specific test he is asking for.
A PRENATAL-paternity test is unnecessarily invasive and should only be done if the mother-to-be just really wants to do it. Poking around inside a womb with a developing fetus should be avoided as much as possible.
Plus we don’t know if she even wants to keep the baby.
Either way, the gf should 100% want a paternity test as well. The bf has no legal obligation here to help her with the child. If the kid is his with undeniable proof (a test result), she can use that against him if he still wants to leave.
Fucky situation
It's not about trust, it's about certainty. I want to _know scientifically_ that the kid is mine. I _believe_ it is, but I want to _know_. I want to go from 99.9999999% certain to 100% certain, so that no one in the future can ever touch my certainty with some cutting comment about how the baby doesn't look like me or whatever.
This isn't about the actual low chance she's cheated on me. This is about repairing the damage that all those paternity horror stories on the internet and daytime TV have left me with.
I get her feeling like she's being distrusted, and yeah that's Anon's fault for not foreshadowing the idea and purpose of the test enough beforehand--especially since she's feeling all vulnerable and hopeless about her career in the moment.
The test could be just a normal part of procedures to put in the papers who the father is, unless both sides agree that the father is someone else. Then you'd just check the papers.
Asking for a test is just lose/lose situation, you either got cheated on or you're telling your partner "I don't trust you" , which kinda breaks the relationship.
If her point of view is that having your child is "ruining her life" because her slavery to an investment firm is more important than her own family the best thing you could do for everyone is delete the baby. I can see why the guy believes he's being cucked. She's quite modern.
On one hand, I understand a girl getting mad over someone not trusting them. That's completely understandable. On the other hand, one of my good friends and coworker of 16 years took his own life after raising a boy for 2 years then finding out at the hospital (for a completely unrelated thing) that the kid wasn't his. Kid turned 2 and started having some weird symptom. Doctors diagnose some genetic disorder that is pretty rare and apparently for this particular disorder one of your parents has to have it too. Doctors are baffled that neither parent has this disorder and so of course testing is done. When my friend finds out his wife cucked him and he's been living a lie for 2 years he spiraled mentally very fast and killed himself within a month. At his funeral there was lots of drama and yelling. Super fucked up.
Did you talk to the wife after a while? I always find that these kind of people justify their cruelty to themselves and others by calling the ailed party selfish or something similar
No never did. What could I really say to her that she didn't already know?
Fuck man, that's rough to hear. Sorry for your loss.
Mature response, terrible situation
"People with wet earwax produce more armpit sweat than people with dry earwax."
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Sidenote of autism: I love when people mention something about someone and also mention that there are an ex. 99% there is no causality, but the sentence always implies it: >Had a german ex who always hated that I undercook my bratwurst and used the wrong glass for beer....
I don't understand. Are you saying that it's unnecessary to mention someone being an ex?
> What could I really say to her that she didn't already know? Public shaming that she's a 304, and liar, and drove a good person to death over their actions? The sooner such behaviour is universally condemned we'll have less people committing infidelity.
I haven't heard the term *304* before. What is that?
304 upside down (imagine the 4 with an open top)
What?
HOE
Remember when hoe was ho? When there was only an "e" for the plural hoes? Pepperidge farm remembers.
Well you could remind her in case she forgot
Wise man
Violence is always an option…in video games
That she is a strong and independent woman?
How often are you running into women who's husband killed himself after he found out that the baby isn't his???
once is one time too many
True
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The good old Israeli method of public relations
[ Removed by Reddit ]
you should log off the internet for a while
So he can go kill? Keep him here.
This. Keep him here, it is me that needs to go. I need some time away from all the psychos.
I’ll keep an eye on him for a bit, the rest of you can take five
Which means no one will be watching me…just as I planned.
I mean, if he was about to kill himself, might as well lmao
Why didn't he eat the son?
Should've went out like Benoit
The kid is innocent. She deserves punishment, but the kid does not. Benoit was a fucking tragedy. Steroids ate his brain. He loved his family, and wouldn't have hurt them if his brain wasn't fried. Edit to add: it was pointed out to me that it was CTE that ate his brain. Don't mess with head injuries, folks.
> Steroids ate his brain. Steroids? I assumed it was CTE.
The Rabid Wolverine is an inspiration to us all.
>Why didn't he kill her? This is the sorta thing i often wonder on hearing stories like this. Like for example, I don't understand why John Q situations don't happen frequently in cases of insurance denials (i mean, it's life and death). When I ask, just downvotes and hate for asking, but NEVER an answer or even a guess.
Kill her: go to jail, pay child support to her family Kill kid: go to jail, pay alimony Don't do anything: raise kid that isn't genetically yours with a wife that cheats on you Getting married and cucked is the ultimate checkmate in modern society sadly.
When you're losing at chess, and you know you've lost, you take as many of your enemy's pieces with you as you can.
Most people just don't have it in them to murder someone?
On one hand, I understand. On the other, I’m fisting your ass.
bro needs to be topped
> gay sex lolololol
A person very close to me who I trust 100% told me that he was doing testing for some non-paternity related DNA shit for some company he was running, in the considerable sample size that they ran they found that the men were not the father around 10% of the time. I found it hard to believe so I pressed him on this a few times as I'd previously heard that it was around 3% but he repeatedly insisted that they had rock hard data from a considerable random sampling and it was about 10%. I still find it hard to believe that it's that high but he sounded absolutely certain of the data and he was president of the company that was doing the dna testing so he definitely had access to all the data and knew what he was talking about.
It's obviously higher because men who suspect they're being cucked are more likely to get tests
guess you missed the part about how the testing didn't have anything to do with paternity. It was testing for some sort of genetic disease being passed on to kids, and while they were doing their research they just happened to notice that 10% of the dads weren't the actual dads. They never told the dads they weren't the kid's dads either, they just said "yep you're in the clear, your kid doesn't have your genetic disease" and left it at that.
Ah shit yeah i did miss that, my bad. Could just be men with genetic diseases more likely to be cucked, wouldn't be surprised
oh didn't I mention? The genetic disease was micro penis syndrome
I was very skeptical about the story, thinking that numbers most probably got exaggerated over time, or some minute details were held back intentionally to make it sound more sensational. Then, with this comment it lost all credibility. This is reddit, why did I even give it the benefit of doubt anyway? Well played, sir...
*tips foreskin*
This is just why it should be mandatory, the father gets the peace of mind that the kid is his without a doubt just like the mother gets naturally, the woman realizes it's just mandatory and not necessary a reflection of her man thinking she cheated on him. It should also be free as it will save a ton of public money on issues RE child support etc.
Actually child support is the number one reason the government doesn't want more paternity tests. Often the real dad is a deadbeat or can't be located, and child support means the government doesn't have to pay for as much of the kids wellbeing. There have been instances of s*cial w*rkers (piss be upon them) not revealing information to the father just because "it's about the needs of the child first".
France enters the chat, stinking of cheese and struggling with a coal burning epidemic.
What do they take the military approach? "It can't be my baby, I haven't slept with my wife in 11 months and what's more it's black and I'm white" "Sure it is, it just got left in another 2 months and overcooked"
Private paternity tests are verboten. Judge has to approve iirc. Modern solutions to modern problems.
There’s no reason to involve the mom. Just take a cheek swab when she’s not around and send it off for analysis. Protect yourself without hurting your relationship. Don’t expect an irrational creature to understand.
Ah, the old prenatal cheek swab
extra long q-tips on order
Use the knob swab obviously.
Once you're on the birth certificate, it's hard in many countries to deny paternity. The government wants someone to pay for that kid and it's not going to be them.
It's the biggest thing in the world people ask for proof for a lot less.
That’s awful man sorry you lost your friend. He should have taken his wife with him.
>On one hand, I understand a girl getting mad over someone not trusting them Yeah, I mean I'm a dude so I probably can't get pregnant and be in the exact same situation. But if a girlfriend wanted to check my phone or something to be sure I wasn't cheating I'd be pretty pissed even though I have nothing to hide besides some hentai. It's the principle of it, I wouldn't want the governement rifling through my shit either even if I know I don't have drugs on me. "If you're innocent you have nothing to worry about" is a terrible argument. Having paternity tests be standard practice isn't a bad idea though, because then you aren't implying anything by asking her to have the kid tested. But also I think genetic testing is the smart thing to do in general to screen for potential genetic conditions way ahead of time.
>I'm a dude so I **probably** can't get pregnant da fuck?
Just some weird woke virtue signalling I guess. Either that or he's regarded
>150k karma >Marvelmemes
Assumptions are dangerous, I always account for any possibility
"Of course I've got nothing to hide, but I hate the idea of being expected to prove that enough I'll write four paragraphs about it." Defs sounds like you've got nothing to hide.
I don't. I'm single, despise cheaters, don't look at anything illegal, and don't buy drugs. I have literally nothing worth hiding, but I still would not want anyone to skim through my phone or search my vehicle.
Dont tell me she had the nerve to show up to his funeral?
She was there with the kid and some of her family. Started calm, didn't stay that way for long Lot of aunts/uncles/cousins looking shiesty, seemed like someone was gonna get stole so I chose a tactical withdrawal. Black people funerals just hit different
Shit's fucked, even had he been a bit more rational he'd just have ended up probably paying alimony and child support for at least 4 years and another 16 for cs. No matter what he'd have to be tied to her and the constant reminder of his broken trust. Idk if women get that. In some ways It's like the emotional equivalent of getting raped and then having to carry the child to term and be forced to look after it, on top of which you either get labelled a dead beat for abandoning the innocent kid or a cuck if you stuck it out.
> someone was gonna get stole this is a phrase I havent heard in a long time. Sorry for your loss btw
and no doubt she accused him of cheating on her every other day too, and if he got angry about it she'd be all "you're being too defensive, you're hiding something". vile creatures.
Sounds like they both don't want the little bastard so get rid of it, problem solved.
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>Casually suggest a couple should get an abortion to save themselves the problems that having a child would introduce to their relationship You: DA JOOS!!
You in an alternate reality where you're based: Fuck, he's right...
I'm not saying he's wrong, it's just funny that's immediately where his mind jumps to lol.
oh bro don't get me wrong it's hilarious, i'm at the point where it makes me laugh more when i'm not sure if im reading some seriously unhinged shit or some dweeb trying to be funny
I once legitimately read a post on 4chan suggesting that shoes were invented by DA JOOS because the true power of white people came from their women walking around barefoot. It wasn't a troll or bait, either. A genuine foot-fetish-fuelled theory.
I will never forgive da joos for ruining foot fetishism 😤
Nobody can tell the difference these days. Also answer c: racist bot. We need more of those, it'll be hilarious.
I don't think he's saying zionists want them to get an abortion here. I think he's saying the IDF kills kids
Then that's even worse because it's even more of a jump lmao
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> You: DA JOOS!! Alex, why is abortion legal?
Legalize abortion via airstrike
Legalize extremely late term abortion up until the 117th trimester! I know some grown adults who should be aborted, and despite what cuckservatives will have you think it's not too late.
Give it to me. I'd like a fresh to order baby; even if the dad is a little tarded.
This this sort of mild statement that would be downvoted to oblivion anywhere else on Reddit, but... If you don't want your fetus, but you carry to term and give it away, you will make some family somewhere incomprehensibly happy.
Except the number of kids in the system is 4 times larger if not more than the number of families looking to adopt
No, no, the good natured Christians amoung us who are pro life will adopt all of the would be aborted pregnancies. We just need to ban abortion first.
there shouldn't be a stigma attached to this. if my future wife asked me to get a std test I'd do it, even if I haven't been unfaithful
What if she wanted to look through your phone?
yeah... she goes in the tar pit
What if she wants to audit your finances?
>women auditor "hahahaha sure honey. if you flip 9, its 6...hahahaha"
if the IRS can't find my stash she can't either
I'd ask to go through hers too, duh.
If she wants to scroll through all the horrific pictures I've saved from 4chan, that's great.
my gf knows my phone password and I leave it alone with her in a room all the time. if she wants to look through my phone she has plenty of opportunities to do so. bad example though. Your phone could have sensitive info like your social security number, credit card info, or even just your Google search history with weird questions that aren't necessarily bad but you wouldn't want people to know you were curious about just because it's awkward. A paternity test only gives one piece of information, you know exactly what you'll find out when you do it. Going through someone's phone is arguably a bigger breach of trust and privacy than a paternity test. For that reason, I'd maybe get a paternity test done but I'd never go through my gf's phone
financials is about the only stuff i dont want someone seeing, i dont care if they are my spouse.
Even that shouldn't be fully secret to me. If you're planning to buy a house or whatever, you need to know how much money your partner is earning and has saved away. You need to agree how much you can pay out of pocket and how big the loan will be. But anyone other than your spouse long time partner (preferably married) shouldn't know, including kids, parents, best friends, etc. At least that's my view.
She has to say "based" after every third picture.
What if she says '"baste"' instead?
Baste on what?
There isn't stigma, usually when people get this mad it means they're trying to hide somethinggggggg
> 4chan poster > gf, financial advisor > need to know if my sex made baby Idk, seems fake
Not to mention gay
A financial analyst is not the same as a financial advisor
I'd actually rank, on average, a financial analyst higher than a financial advisor.
Waking up early for morning beers and breakfast with his pal while they watch MMA & music videos seems believable.
>Women just got a raise at work >women is pregnant Many such cases
For real, OP buried the lede
kek
Anon needs to remember that modern women find greater fulfilment in their pointless make-work jobs at Sheckleberg Inc. than they do in raising their own children. Anon's anti-semitism is really coming through in this post.
>work husband Yep. That's a thing. Corpo world is gross
Women prioritizing an aimless career over their biological prerogative is legitimately the result of a psyop.
I mean in this economy, you need two incomes to raise a kid. Shit is expensive.
It’s so unfortunate :( It feels like kids really get shafted by all this in not have at least one caretaker who’s reliably always there. Esp if it means having to put a kid in daycare. Way too many horror stories and just capacity for abuse in environments like that. You just can’t trust others, even family, with your kid 100%.
Oh absolutely. I was super lucky that my mom was able to stay at home with my brother and I, and that we had a trustworthy and close family. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to drop your child off at daycare all day and barely ever see them during the week.
I think this is a double edged sword. The paternity test is good if you suspect your partner of cheating, however you better be damn sure before hand because asking for one is basically saying "I think you cheated on me". One one hand you are sure the kid is your's, on the other you destroyed your partners trust in you.
I feel like there should just not be stigma attached but there just is stigma attached to it.
If you're a guy, it makes sense. You want to be sure. You also have to look at it from the woman point of view, she has to cheat on you to get pregnant it doesn't just magically happen. It's only logical that there would be a stigma attached to it. Accusing someone of cheating on you is a bad look for a relationship.
As someone who hangs out in the drama llama subs, geez, just swab the kid when no one is looking. You'll get your answer and you won't blow up your relationship.
It would have to be born first, and paternity granted already. Not a good answer if the truth is that the baby isn't the now legal father.
"My Grandfather had degenerative anal leakage encephalitis. We must test the fetus to see if it has it as well." BAM, now you have the kid's information.
You can revoke paternity in a lot of places if you are proven to not be the father, sometimes you can do this without the courts involved at all even if you get the results back soon after they are born. Except France, the cuckolding capital of the world, where it is illegal and you can be put in jail without a court order that is only sometimes given.
In some places this is actually illegal
You don't accuse someone of cheating unless you have valid reasons. Hopefully.
You’d be surprised how good at covering up cheaters can be. Do you know what a biological father and a cucked father have in common? A spouse that looked them in the eyes and said they love them. The two are often indistinguishable
True, the stigma is there so you better be ready for the consequences if you ask.
That's where the "it should be mandatory" mindset comes from. If a paternity test was standard practice then there wouldn't be a stigma.
The way to do that would be to require it for all children (maybe roll it into genetic disease screening). Harder for girlfriend to complain when everyone does it since you aren't asking her for no reason.
Paternity test should be done as default at child birth. No opt-out. Problem solved, cuckshit averted.
There's a reason it will NEVER happen and that reason is some unfortunate truths would be revealed. That reason is the same reason the D.O.D in the U.S put out a memorandum advising soldiers to not use home DNA ancestry/testing kits for "data safety concerns". Or the U.S Blood bank releasing a statement against 30% of births being fraudulent... But not the actual data lmao. Or as the French government puts it upholding ""French regime of filiation and preserving the peace of families." By making them punishable with a 15,000$ fine or a year in prison. It's almost as if the powers that be are actively covering for a demographic of people. I just can't put my finger on it. https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcWI4dG9lMW54aHd4dDNjbWpiNzk2bjdvcmlyZjRqNWYxZzl0ZXFkYyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/14mgxYFJHXGmoo/giphy.gif
>That reason is the same reason the D.O.D in the U.S put out a memorandum advising soldiers to not use home DNA ancestry/testing kits for "data safety concerns". Or the U.S Blood bank releasing a statement against 30% of births being fraudulent... Militarybros...it's over...
Nah, even just make it opt-out by default is enough. There just needs to be a reason to *not* have to do it because right now it’s seen as there needs to be a reason to *have* to do it. That way it’s the woman who has to request to not have it done, inherently implying she has a reason. In our current social climate, the best thing to do as a man is probably to do it behind the woman’s back if you suspect it’s yours but obviously just want to check. Only problem is you’d have to wait until the baby is born most likely.
Alternatively you can simply have it put down as a law where if a man finds out his kids aren't his, he is entitled to 10 years of alimony per year of raising a kid that isn't his plus ALL of the woman's assets **including** pre-martial. If she doesn't pay up, into the slammer she goes. Crisis averted. You don't need to broach the "sensitive" topic of asking for a paternity test but the woman also knows the law will fist her from ass to mouth if she cucks the man. Alas, that's not the world we live in.
This is too harsh and would never in a million years become commonplace even if the court system was not blatantly biased towards women, but definitely for the safety of the woman there should be some recourse because if you waste 18+ years of your life raising someone else’s bastard, the only recourse is for you to take the matter into your own hands, which has resulted in murder in the past, and I can’t really even blame them for it.
A paternity test is really not a big deal if you think about it and consider the consequences of staying ignorant. Appealing to emotion in such an instance is childish. They can fight or make up after the test results; then the emotions are justified.
It's kind of weird how distrusting your partner is grounds for them to distrust you even more. I think it's also hard for them to empathize since no woman has ever needed a maternity test.
thats why you get the paternity test done in secret
When it's too late you mean?
good point, foids have moids by the balls
Not if you never touch one. A little lifehack i like to share.
Imagine trying to have a logical discussion with a woman in her first trimester lol
Imagine trying to have a logical discussion with a woman ever.
Imagine ☕
If a man can be held responsible for not pulling out .5 seconds before an orgasm because a woman revoked her consent then a woman can be held responsible for her behavior during the first trimester.
That's why it shouldn't be a discussion, just sop.
And the second trimester, and the third, then the postpartum... At this point I just try to be logical until I can feel myself getting pissed then just leave the room and ice her out till she calms down.
Just do the usual thing, DNA test without telling the mother when the kid is born.
No, it's too late at this point. You'll be fucked by the Family law court. Even if it's not your child, they'll force you to financially support him. In the end it will become very long and costly process to revoke a paternity acknowledgement. Court priority focused on the financial stability of the child, they don't care who is actually going to pay. If by some miracle you can find real father and talk him into taking responsibility, it's gonna be much easier. That's why you better take a DNA test BEFORE putting your name on the birth certificate.
Or don't put your name on the birth certificate, and when the kid is born run away into the himalayas, that way if she sues for chill support you can do a dna test and prove the kid isn't yours
Some courts even don't care if the kid is yours or not. Many such cases recently where the state needs the child support kickback and saddles the man currently in a relationship with the mother. Family court is a sad state of affairs.
Then don't pay the child support money,and stay in the himalayas,
Id rather not live like an asian peasant. I like my country (it has plumbing)
> No, it's too late at this point. You'll be fucked by the Family law court. If you disavow paternity in the first month or two, you'll be fine.
In most places within the US you can successfully dispute heritage of the child within a certain amount of time post-birth. You’ll still probably get fucked in the divorce though
Gonna look suspicious when you don’t sign the birth certificate.
Or wait until you inevitably have a messy break up.
> without telling the mother when the kid is born I'm pretty sure the mother will notice when the kid is born as she's kind of part of the whole process.
A girl will whine and cry about you not trusting her all the way up until Maury gives you the test results, knowing damn well the kid wasn't yours from the start. Regular girls need to start keeping hoes in check if they don't want to keep catching strays. With that said, OP is a dumbass and fucked up big time with the way he broached this.
“Losing everything for you”. If she views the miracle of producing a human life as “losing everything”, instead of something which is of infinitely higher value gained, then she’s probably not mentally the right woman to be a mom.
Nah, don't worry. She knows damn well who the actual father is (or at least narrowed it down to a small handful of guys). She's just gaslighting him so he won't demand the test.
She also decided to keep the kid. No discussion. And he's the ~~dad~~ guy who pays for everything whether it's actually his or not.
I think maternity tests should be mandatory too tbqh
Given how crazy new mothers get over the fear of baby swapping in the hospital, you'd think they'd understand.
This is why it would genuinely be better for both men and women (just not cheaters) if a paternity test was mandatory. Better for men as they will always know if it's their kid, and better for women as they won't have to deal with their partner distrusting them. I honestly think it's a win-win. The only losers are lying cheaters.
Trust but verify
Duh. You only want to do blood test for genetic disorders because you have a history of X in your family. And then get the paternity test. "I DIDN'T KNOW THATS WHAT NIPP TESTA WERE! I Thought they were just blood tests. I'm an idiot babe! I just want to make sure the baby is going to be healthy because I love you and the family we're going to be" Or some such crap. Easy recovery for non dumbass.
That's actually not a bad idea
Genetic tests are gradually becoming mainstream, so having one done to plan for any possible congenital abnormalities and subsequent management isn't a bad idea.
She cheated. Typical AFBB.
relationship is ready over take the test
She has (at least one) side dick and she's not sure *at all* it's anon's but he has the best job/would make the best father in her eyes. HE WON THE PRIZE! He gets to raise the child! Why he so angery whether it's actually his??
Oh, no! The woman will have to give up her illustrious career of sitting at a goddamned desk all day making money for someone else and will instead raise a product of the love between her and her boyfriend… the horror!
women
I envy lesbian couples. If one of them turns up pregnant, you can be 100% sure she cheated.
society has reached a pretty low fucking point if the reaction to pregnancy is dispair rather than joy. how self obsessed do you have to be being given the gift of a child to just break down in tears "BUT MUH CAREER" people like this is why we're going extinct and it pisses me off don't be like OOP's gf, have as many children as you can and be happy
She's also a fucking financial analyst lmfao. The world will go on if you stop making excel spreadsheets for two hours a day sweetheart.
if he maybe saved that question for like a future doctor visit (of which there will be many) or even just waited until she was not crying over her burning career and sky-high hormones it probably would have gone over a lot better. Kind of “adding fuel to the fire” starting up an obviously awkward and delicate conversation at what is currently, the worst moment of her life.
If a copper asks you for your papers while pulling you over, you won't react in the same way if he has a gun pointed at you
On one hand : You’re pregnant, he says ‘ok how much is a paternity test’. Timing and diplomacy is important.
They should be mandatory, they are simple and cheap and effective and can save entries peoples lives. The guy deserves to know if its their kid or not and they should be able to make an informed decision about their reproductive life. The kid deserves to know who their actual father is and what their actual family medical history is. The only people who benefit from the current system are cheating mothers. I had a relative who is white and his partner was white and they had a black baby. If she had cheated with a white guy he would have never known. I had an ex who found out those dna testing her grampa wasnt actually her grampa. People say "its so rare...blah blah" but it does happen and its life changing.
Not going to lie, while I understand the guy, the girlfriend has every right to be angry if she didn't actually cheat. Even if it's just to be careful, it tells her he does not trust her, that his guard is up around her, and for someone who's supposed to be your significant other, it definitely hurts a lot emotionally
Don't trust a woman, period. Either you already learned that lesson or you still have some permanent emotional scarring coming your way. Everybody learns eventually.
Don't worry, I've already learned this lesson, I'm just saying that I do understand how that woman is feeling because of her husband's comment
Oh yeah, I get it. Sucks for her. But there really isn't any other way to play this. OP could've said it much nicer, but still...
He could easily play it if he wasnt retarded. There are many valid reasons for a paternity test, which makes it sus that shes so defensive about it. An accusation is one thing, but he doesnt even think she cheated, so its not an accusation, its just an assumption of one.
Then see it from the other side: Why not give the person whose child your are carrying the reassurance and certainty that you are indeed carrying *HIS* kid? Why not resolve all doubt he might have in a world where men are often forced to raise or at least pay for kids that aren't theirs? Because you (the woman) feel insulted that he doesn't trust you on this? Trust is to be earned. No once, but time and time again. Men have to be careful in this matter, and refusing or even only getting mad about a paternity test means you cheated and are afraid of being found out, or you disrespect the father of your child by keeping him worrying and in doubt.
The only thing the woman has any reason to be upset over (aside from the bf not trusting her) is the specific test he is asking for. A PRENATAL-paternity test is unnecessarily invasive and should only be done if the mother-to-be just really wants to do it. Poking around inside a womb with a developing fetus should be avoided as much as possible. Plus we don’t know if she even wants to keep the baby. Either way, the gf should 100% want a paternity test as well. The bf has no legal obligation here to help her with the child. If the kid is his with undeniable proof (a test result), she can use that against him if he still wants to leave. Fucky situation
Newer tests just require a blood draw from the mother, some of the fetal dna makes it into the mom's bloodstream and that's enough DNA for a test
Ah word. Thats reassuring at least!
It's not about trust, it's about certainty. I want to _know scientifically_ that the kid is mine. I _believe_ it is, but I want to _know_. I want to go from 99.9999999% certain to 100% certain, so that no one in the future can ever touch my certainty with some cutting comment about how the baby doesn't look like me or whatever. This isn't about the actual low chance she's cheated on me. This is about repairing the damage that all those paternity horror stories on the internet and daytime TV have left me with. I get her feeling like she's being distrusted, and yeah that's Anon's fault for not foreshadowing the idea and purpose of the test enough beforehand--especially since she's feeling all vulnerable and hopeless about her career in the moment.
You know what a test would show already.
The test could be just a normal part of procedures to put in the papers who the father is, unless both sides agree that the father is someone else. Then you'd just check the papers. Asking for a test is just lose/lose situation, you either got cheated on or you're telling your partner "I don't trust you" , which kinda breaks the relationship.
If her point of view is that having your child is "ruining her life" because her slavery to an investment firm is more important than her own family the best thing you could do for everyone is delete the baby. I can see why the guy believes he's being cucked. She's quite modern.