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so true! one of my biggest shifts once i was diagnosed was giving myself the OK to take the easy way out on things because i need to! i was always so stubborn before
I have a dishwasher not jusy because it's easier but because it literally uses a shitload less water and power/gas than washing by hand. It's also pointless to waste time on tasks that a machine can do just to feel like you're "not lazy". I mean, sure, it's great to do things yourself but I'd rather do things that are a worthwhile and rewarding use of my time, like building something. Dishes aren't that. Neither is vacuuming. My roomba runs every day for half an hour at a power consumption of about 40w from the battery. That's 20wh a day or 0.02kWh. For reference, my plug-in vacuum runs at 2200w and takes me about half the time to do the same area as the roomba. In that time, however, it will consume 550Wh or 0.55kWh of energy. And I'm not about to do that everyday, so my floors would be less clean and I would *still* be using 27x as much energy every time I used it.
Anyone who thinks they are morally superior for vacuuming and wishing dishes manually are welcome to also wash their clothes with a tub and rack right before they hitch up their trusty ox to a plow and get the field finished so they can walk 2 hours into town before the bank closes and sort out those cheques
This is exactly why technology exists. So life doesn't have to be a continuous drudgery of menial, unrewarding tasks. Having an executive function disorder just makes shortcuts a more necessary aspect to keeping the existential dread at bay and finding some joy in life. By not washing the dishes by hand, I get to play with my toddler. I'd say it's worth it
I’ve heard that pretty often, that dishwashers use less water and I just looked it up, the average uses 6 gallons per cycle. They must be comparing with ppl who wash dishes with the water running and no plug in the sink.
I use a dishwasher but I can’t believe it uses less water than 1 sink full of water.
6 *gallons*? Where did you find that? Mine is a bog-standard Fisher and Paykel 600mm unit and it uses 11.5L (3 gal) for a full load and quite a bit less on half load setting (this exact model: https://www.thegoodguys.com.au/fisher-and-paykel-freestanding-stainless-steel-dishwasher-dw60fc1x1). If I fill my sink 2/3 that's already 12L, plus rinse water, an easy 8L if I 2/3 fill the smaller sink for that. Thats 20L (5gal) whilst being pretty water conscious and not using any more than is have to to get through a family load of dishes. The energy consumption is 272kWh/year I think, so that's 0.75kWh a day, or zero in my case because I only run it during the day when my solar panels are producing. My hot water system is gas and I'm on bottled gas in my area, which is wayyy more expensive (and inefficient) than electricity, especially when the electricity is free during the day.
Granted, I can use a soap-dispensing brush (which I do for things that can't go in the dishwasher) and only use water to rinse things off. That would use less but there is no way I'm washing the amount of dishes my dishwasher does with just 11L of water including rinsing. There is also no way I'm getting dishes as clean as this thing does by hand. Seriously, everything is so perfectly amazingly clean and almost completely dry when it's done. And I don't have to stand there washing dishes when I could be playing with my kid, and it's dead quiet to boot, which people washing dishes in a sink are not quiet at all.
I really don't know what dishwashers are using 6gal but they are either industrial, very old or just don't meet any of the water use standards we have in Australia
Someone once told me, "Stop trying to be good at things you're bad at." It sounds fatalistic, but it was freeing -- my brain has a hard time doing that, so don't do it. Incredible!
Doesn't work for all things, of course, still gotta work and all that... But trying to remember birthdays? Remembering to reach out to my friends? Maintain a to-do list? Keep my office clean? Yeah, no.
If buying the veggie tray or cut fruit tray means you are eating fresh fruit and vegetables instead of throwing it away, worth it. Same goes for a simple wardrobe where everything goes with any other garment in your wardrobe.
Yes!
Or like, with a few exceptions, I don't fold clothes. I just stuff them in drawers. Or I don't sort socks.
I've got 3 kids so we have paper plates because otherwise, regardless of the dishwasher, dishes pile up.
Seriously! All that matters is it's done. Using shortcuts or conveniences isn't a moral failing!
This is what I struggle with the most, recently being diagnosed. It isn't my moral failing, it isn't a character flaw, it isn't laziness or lack of trying. It is a brain disorder and just like any disability, I need to make accommodations. Doesn't matter what they are as long as I achieve the results I desire.
Somewhere between middle and high school I genuinely believed my problem was laziness or a lack of will power... or some other general personality deficit. ... and so I leaned into it.
At that point I was already a delinquent kid who was always at odds or fighting with others, so in my eyes being bad at school was an obvious symptom of me just being a POS individual.
And so was my inability to do chores timely or completely.
Since I was already the black sheep and kind of a disappointment, then who cared if my clothes were stuffed into drawers. I was already a fuckup, this is the obvious answer, and at least it's DONE!
So yeah I started doing accommodations for myself LONG BEFORE I knew it was ADHD because I long since had no one to impress and nothing to lose by doing so.
Now that I know WHAT it is and WHY it happens. My worldview has changed. I'm a lot less harsh and a lot kinder to myself. And knowing what my brain is doing and why has helped me formulate other ways to make it do what I want it to do (more often anyway)
Basically I can WORK with a known diagnosable problem/deficiency.... I can't work with a personality problem. I guess. LMAO.
I call it add tax. Automatic dog feeder, robot vacuum, smart light switches… it all helps me take care of things in my life and those that rely on me. Yeah I’d rather spend money on something besides a dishwasher capable of running every day on a timer, but it keeps my household running so I can (try to) focus on other stuff.
I got one as a gift, thought I would hate it. Thought I didn’t need that. Love that thing. Actually upgraded to the one that maps your house and empties itself too. 😂
I got one as a gift, thought I would hate it. Thought I didn’t need that. Love that thing. Actually upgraded to the one that maps your house and empties itself too. 😂
I definitely agree with this. Sometimes, I feel self-conscious because of the way I need to accommodate myself. My numerous planners/notebooks/journals, my water bottle with a filter in it because I need to stay hydrated but hate how the tap water tastes where I live. My excessive amount of alarms for reminders because I'll stray from my planner; my choice to buy a fruits and veggie snack pack every day even if it's more expensive because trying to meal prep or buy in bulk (and sctually remember to bring it to work)will inevitably fail.
But honestly, I'm just trying to accept who I am. I'm trying to inhibit the shame that convinces me to get in my own way because I want to appear "normal." I think once I can get over that hurdle in a lasting way, I will be able to better address those things.
Maybe some day soon, I can keep a consistent routine of meal prepping and avoid ADHD tax. For now, I'm just going to learn to love myself for who I am and keep finding things that work for me. The refinement would come later.
It took me a while to learn that too. I had a hard time maintaining healthy eating habits because I struggled with cooking due to the amount of prep. Now I purchase premade salads and frozen items that are easy to heat up. If I want some thing a little more complicated, I’ll purchase ingredients that are the most convenient like pre-cut vegetables and pre-portioned mixes.
bro this with prechopped fruit/veg and bag salad kits. at least now im not just eating ramen or pizza pops for the zillionth time cause it feels easier than dicing and shredding heaps of produce
FR!! It always bugs me when people want to prescribe thi GS that might be true for them onto everyone. Yes something might not be a big deal for you, but it is for me! Yes something might be important for you, it's not necessarily for me! And so on and so on
This is why I was able to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a roomba. It helps keep my floor way cleaner than I was doing on my own! All with the press of a button.
Also for anyone with cats an automated litter box is amazing if you have the money to blow. Sometimes it gets stuck or whatever but there are hacks to fix it and it's been mostly so helpful with not having to scoop multiple times a day
Same. Used to wait until the dishwasher was all the way full. Why? Thought it wasted water. But then things would pile up. Now I run that dishwasher every day, and my kitchen stays much cleaner.
Weirdly enough, having not had to do much growing up, as an adult I take pleasure in doing chores because it gives me productive tasks that have measurable and finite results. Dishes in sink? Objective- hand wash dishes. I have no work and no real social life and I don’t like downtime, so I actually WANT more step-by-step step chill tasks like that.
I agree with this completely. We recently went to Disneyworld and got the DAS pass for my ADHD/ODD son. It saved the vacation. I was initially dismissive of the idea because I thought we could handle things. Day 1 he’s going into fits of rage, we’re all miserable, and by the time I ask to be considered for the pass I burst into tears; it’s so hard for me to ask for help or admit that we weren’t able to manage. I’m so grateful for the help we got and the caring cast member that got us there.
Pre cut vegetables did this for me. My parents used to act like eating pre cut vegetables basically gets rid of the nutritional value of eating vegetables. I get it because they’re more expensive and we were poor but I spent way more on vegetables that never got eaten.
I don't know about you guys but if I use 1000 gallons more water in a month they charge me less than $6 for the difference. That sort of moral superiority is actually just emotional abuse.
Hi /u/juyonchan and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! # Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) The mobile apps are broken and are missing features that this subreddit depends on. **If you are posting about the US Medication Shortage, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).** Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
so true! one of my biggest shifts once i was diagnosed was giving myself the OK to take the easy way out on things because i need to! i was always so stubborn before
And the idea of "the easy way," should be abandoned. It should be balancing opportunity costs. Your costs are different than someone else's costs.
I have a dishwasher not jusy because it's easier but because it literally uses a shitload less water and power/gas than washing by hand. It's also pointless to waste time on tasks that a machine can do just to feel like you're "not lazy". I mean, sure, it's great to do things yourself but I'd rather do things that are a worthwhile and rewarding use of my time, like building something. Dishes aren't that. Neither is vacuuming. My roomba runs every day for half an hour at a power consumption of about 40w from the battery. That's 20wh a day or 0.02kWh. For reference, my plug-in vacuum runs at 2200w and takes me about half the time to do the same area as the roomba. In that time, however, it will consume 550Wh or 0.55kWh of energy. And I'm not about to do that everyday, so my floors would be less clean and I would *still* be using 27x as much energy every time I used it. Anyone who thinks they are morally superior for vacuuming and wishing dishes manually are welcome to also wash their clothes with a tub and rack right before they hitch up their trusty ox to a plow and get the field finished so they can walk 2 hours into town before the bank closes and sort out those cheques This is exactly why technology exists. So life doesn't have to be a continuous drudgery of menial, unrewarding tasks. Having an executive function disorder just makes shortcuts a more necessary aspect to keeping the existential dread at bay and finding some joy in life. By not washing the dishes by hand, I get to play with my toddler. I'd say it's worth it
I’ve heard that pretty often, that dishwashers use less water and I just looked it up, the average uses 6 gallons per cycle. They must be comparing with ppl who wash dishes with the water running and no plug in the sink. I use a dishwasher but I can’t believe it uses less water than 1 sink full of water.
6 *gallons*? Where did you find that? Mine is a bog-standard Fisher and Paykel 600mm unit and it uses 11.5L (3 gal) for a full load and quite a bit less on half load setting (this exact model: https://www.thegoodguys.com.au/fisher-and-paykel-freestanding-stainless-steel-dishwasher-dw60fc1x1). If I fill my sink 2/3 that's already 12L, plus rinse water, an easy 8L if I 2/3 fill the smaller sink for that. Thats 20L (5gal) whilst being pretty water conscious and not using any more than is have to to get through a family load of dishes. The energy consumption is 272kWh/year I think, so that's 0.75kWh a day, or zero in my case because I only run it during the day when my solar panels are producing. My hot water system is gas and I'm on bottled gas in my area, which is wayyy more expensive (and inefficient) than electricity, especially when the electricity is free during the day. Granted, I can use a soap-dispensing brush (which I do for things that can't go in the dishwasher) and only use water to rinse things off. That would use less but there is no way I'm washing the amount of dishes my dishwasher does with just 11L of water including rinsing. There is also no way I'm getting dishes as clean as this thing does by hand. Seriously, everything is so perfectly amazingly clean and almost completely dry when it's done. And I don't have to stand there washing dishes when I could be playing with my kid, and it's dead quiet to boot, which people washing dishes in a sink are not quiet at all. I really don't know what dishwashers are using 6gal but they are either industrial, very old or just don't meet any of the water use standards we have in Australia
I just googled and took whatever was on top, very little research
Ah, that ol chestnut
Brilliantly put. I am going to save this for motivation when I get discouraged. Thank you.
Someone once told me, "Stop trying to be good at things you're bad at." It sounds fatalistic, but it was freeing -- my brain has a hard time doing that, so don't do it. Incredible! Doesn't work for all things, of course, still gotta work and all that... But trying to remember birthdays? Remembering to reach out to my friends? Maintain a to-do list? Keep my office clean? Yeah, no.
If buying the veggie tray or cut fruit tray means you are eating fresh fruit and vegetables instead of throwing it away, worth it. Same goes for a simple wardrobe where everything goes with any other garment in your wardrobe.
Same on the precut and washed veggies and fruits!
Tools that help me build efficient life systems have a special place in my heart
Yes! Or like, with a few exceptions, I don't fold clothes. I just stuff them in drawers. Or I don't sort socks. I've got 3 kids so we have paper plates because otherwise, regardless of the dishwasher, dishes pile up. Seriously! All that matters is it's done. Using shortcuts or conveniences isn't a moral failing!
This is what I struggle with the most, recently being diagnosed. It isn't my moral failing, it isn't a character flaw, it isn't laziness or lack of trying. It is a brain disorder and just like any disability, I need to make accommodations. Doesn't matter what they are as long as I achieve the results I desire.
Somewhere between middle and high school I genuinely believed my problem was laziness or a lack of will power... or some other general personality deficit. ... and so I leaned into it. At that point I was already a delinquent kid who was always at odds or fighting with others, so in my eyes being bad at school was an obvious symptom of me just being a POS individual. And so was my inability to do chores timely or completely. Since I was already the black sheep and kind of a disappointment, then who cared if my clothes were stuffed into drawers. I was already a fuckup, this is the obvious answer, and at least it's DONE! So yeah I started doing accommodations for myself LONG BEFORE I knew it was ADHD because I long since had no one to impress and nothing to lose by doing so. Now that I know WHAT it is and WHY it happens. My worldview has changed. I'm a lot less harsh and a lot kinder to myself. And knowing what my brain is doing and why has helped me formulate other ways to make it do what I want it to do (more often anyway) Basically I can WORK with a known diagnosable problem/deficiency.... I can't work with a personality problem. I guess. LMAO.
I don't fold clothes either. Huge game changer
I call it add tax. Automatic dog feeder, robot vacuum, smart light switches… it all helps me take care of things in my life and those that rely on me. Yeah I’d rather spend money on something besides a dishwasher capable of running every day on a timer, but it keeps my household running so I can (try to) focus on other stuff.
Are you sponsored by Roomba because i really just needed an excuse to get one... Sold!
I bought a Shark robot vac last year. I have a golden retriever. It has been awesome. No more dog hair tumble weeds.
OOH Which one did you get? This is on my list of must haves this year.
Shark IQ Robot Vacuum AV1002AE with XL Self-Empty Base, Self-Cleaning Brushroll, Advanced Navigation, Wi-Fi, Compatible with Alexa, 2nd Generation https://a.co/d/ihWyVxJ
I got one as a gift, thought I would hate it. Thought I didn’t need that. Love that thing. Actually upgraded to the one that maps your house and empties itself too. 😂
That's the one i have, because it also avoid dog poop too
That would of been helpful when we were fostering rescue pups 😂
I got one as a gift, thought I would hate it. Thought I didn’t need that. Love that thing. Actually upgraded to the one that maps your house and empties itself too. 😂
I definitely agree with this. Sometimes, I feel self-conscious because of the way I need to accommodate myself. My numerous planners/notebooks/journals, my water bottle with a filter in it because I need to stay hydrated but hate how the tap water tastes where I live. My excessive amount of alarms for reminders because I'll stray from my planner; my choice to buy a fruits and veggie snack pack every day even if it's more expensive because trying to meal prep or buy in bulk (and sctually remember to bring it to work)will inevitably fail. But honestly, I'm just trying to accept who I am. I'm trying to inhibit the shame that convinces me to get in my own way because I want to appear "normal." I think once I can get over that hurdle in a lasting way, I will be able to better address those things. Maybe some day soon, I can keep a consistent routine of meal prepping and avoid ADHD tax. For now, I'm just going to learn to love myself for who I am and keep finding things that work for me. The refinement would come later.
It took me a while to learn that too. I had a hard time maintaining healthy eating habits because I struggled with cooking due to the amount of prep. Now I purchase premade salads and frozen items that are easy to heat up. If I want some thing a little more complicated, I’ll purchase ingredients that are the most convenient like pre-cut vegetables and pre-portioned mixes.
bro this with prechopped fruit/veg and bag salad kits. at least now im not just eating ramen or pizza pops for the zillionth time cause it feels easier than dicing and shredding heaps of produce
FR!! It always bugs me when people want to prescribe thi GS that might be true for them onto everyone. Yes something might not be a big deal for you, but it is for me! Yes something might be important for you, it's not necessarily for me! And so on and so on
This is why I was able to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a roomba. It helps keep my floor way cleaner than I was doing on my own! All with the press of a button. Also for anyone with cats an automated litter box is amazing if you have the money to blow. Sometimes it gets stuck or whatever but there are hacks to fix it and it's been mostly so helpful with not having to scoop multiple times a day
Same. Used to wait until the dishwasher was all the way full. Why? Thought it wasted water. But then things would pile up. Now I run that dishwasher every day, and my kitchen stays much cleaner.
Weirdly enough, having not had to do much growing up, as an adult I take pleasure in doing chores because it gives me productive tasks that have measurable and finite results. Dishes in sink? Objective- hand wash dishes. I have no work and no real social life and I don’t like downtime, so I actually WANT more step-by-step step chill tasks like that.
Just bought a countertop dishwasher I've been meaning to get for months. Thanks for the reminder :)
Yep. Do what works best for you. No one else has to understand or agree. True for everyone regardless of any mental health.
Which countertop dishwasher did you try? I’ve been wanting one but my quirks are delay tactics out of fear it not being good lol
I agree with this completely. We recently went to Disneyworld and got the DAS pass for my ADHD/ODD son. It saved the vacation. I was initially dismissive of the idea because I thought we could handle things. Day 1 he’s going into fits of rage, we’re all miserable, and by the time I ask to be considered for the pass I burst into tears; it’s so hard for me to ask for help or admit that we weren’t able to manage. I’m so grateful for the help we got and the caring cast member that got us there.
Just looked up how much a countertop dishwasher is... and I just remembered why I don't have one yet lol
Man thank you for this post. I know it but like, still need to *know* it in some areas of my life.
Pre cut vegetables did this for me. My parents used to act like eating pre cut vegetables basically gets rid of the nutritional value of eating vegetables. I get it because they’re more expensive and we were poor but I spent way more on vegetables that never got eaten.
Very well said. Remember, we have a disability. Take all the accommodations you can and need to thrive. You deserve it
Which countertop dishwasher did you buy? I’ve been wanting one but my quirks are delay tactics out of fear it not being good lol
I don't know about you guys but if I use 1000 gallons more water in a month they charge me less than $6 for the difference. That sort of moral superiority is actually just emotional abuse.
I have been looking into these!!! Which one did you get OP? I want a full review lol