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I’m the exact same. And when I start bed rotting, 90% chance I end up wanting to nap and then napping for 3-4 hours at a time. Because of this, I have shifted to working in other spaces (eg. living room). The trouble is my bed rot has morphed into couch rot now, but it’s still slightly better than it was before 😅
I didn’t remember posting this either.
I checked the user names, and we didn’t post them.
Those internet strangers are just getting in our head to share our lives online again apparently
Help. King bed, shark plush that’s bigger than me, pillows and blankets galore
I worked 22 hours yesterday (driving), got turned back around to my work van twice this morning and passed out from the exhaustion at noon.
My dispatch was like, “Hey can you do this I really need help with this one” I slept until about 4:30 today.
It’s been four hours
And potentially illegal. If their job requires a CDL in the US, there are limits on how long one is legally allowed to drive without endangering their license. I don’t know details, just friends with truck drivers.
Definitely a “Hell No” to that request!
Buddy that aint bed rot, that is you working a 22 hour shift and being dead tired from said shift. There are places that give you two days of rest after such bullshit.
That’s the way! I do the horizontal couch rot - and I love it… I don’t really feel “bad” about it, but mind you I don’t have people necessarily dependent on me. I’m pleased to see that we’re all in this together.
Yes, I too am couch rot now. I’ve basically forgotten my bed exists. I don’t nap though. I just do everything from here. Work, eat, watch tv, write, pet my dogs. Couch rot feels more productive. Maybe soon I’ll become treadmill rot.
I just moved from bed rotting to couch rotting, I consider it significant progress! I just started by forcing myself to move from my bed to the couch as soon as I woke up, but it helps I have the incentive of needing to get up and get caffeine in my body. It feels weird and shitty and wrong for awhile but that's okay, you can feel bad until it doesn't feel bad anymore. It took a few weeks but now it's pretty automatic for me. What motivated me was my cats, it sounds like you already have a good motivation OP - now it's just about taking that first step, write a little reminder for yourself or start trying to spend just an hour outside of your bedroom a day. Half an hour if that's too much. Use this to practice self-discipline and consistency over perfection or immediate, dramatic change. Spending five minutes out of your room is still better than spending no minutes outside of it. Find fun things to do with your kid that require more space or a specific area of where you live and start building happy memories and associations with places beyond your bedroom. It takes time but it's totally doable.
I also love a good bet rot and it started at the same age for me. I recently got diagnosed with an autoimmune condition and now that I’m receiving treatment for it, I have infinitely more energy. Granted the hobby of bed rotting is still kind of there for me while I figure out what I want to replace it with…
Is there any chance your bed rotting preference is could be driven by actual fatigue? There are several common comorbidities like sleep disorders and depression which have fatigue as a symptom and it might be worth a chat with your doctor to see if there could be another underlying issue.
I think that if I had energy I would be able to get out of bed more. I definitely am fatigued and have wondered if I have some type of autoimmune. I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease and now that I think about it, it was around the age my "bed rotting" began. I have been naturally in remission though for about 3 years
I have ADHD and Crohn’s as well (among other things) and the fatigue is real. If I don’t sleep well (which isn’t infrequent) it is almost debilitating. If I do sleep well it’s still a struggle. Meds do help, but honestly it is a conscious effort to ‘just keep swimming’ every day.
It’s essential to avoid complete bed rot (ie ‘no zero’) days. What do you need to give yourself a win today? Be fair and kind to yourself. Is it dishes? Is it having a shower? Ok, you do that and you got your win for the day. No feeling bad about any of the rest of it. And then just keep doing that every day.
Move your body - doesn’t have to be a lot, just don’t be still for long periods. Timers are good for this if you ‘just need to sit for a minute’ and tend to lose track until it’s been an hour and you’re feeling even more tired because you spent it sedentary and doom scrolling.
Fatigue tells your mind to rest, but sometimes resting too much can make it worse and you end up in a vicious cycle. So don’t rest unless you mean it - rest with intention, don’t just sit down and be tired and think of what you should be doing while feeling guilty about it. If you need to rest, go have a nap, meditate, close your eyes and listen to a story, whatever, and set a timer. Maybe 30 minutes, maybe 2 hours. Whatever you need.
When that’s done, stand up and move your body, stretch, have something to drink. Think about how your body feels now. Good to go for a bit? Awesome. Tell yourself ‘well done’ on your quality rest! Exhausted? If you are able to, reset the timer and rest a little more. Try not to do it while scrolling your phone. The idea is to truly give your brain and body a break from stimulus. Passive stimulus is best (music, podcast, etc) if you *need* something, but also try just meditating with some white noise for a few minutes.
Oh, and be careful of going ‘120%’ on that rare day you’re feeling almost normal. You might feel like you have to do extra to catch up, but then accidentally end up spending tomorrow’s spoons on today. Pace yourself and use the energy for self care, not just getting things done.
You may always be tired. I won’t lie to you. It may always take effort. But doing the above helps keep the bed rot away. You might even find your tolerance for ‘doing stuff’ while tired gets better and you can keep going for longer.
I could honestly keep going but a lot of fatigue management is very individualized as you may already know, and I’ve probably already typed stuff that isn’t applicable or helpful, lol!
(Ok last one!!!)
Be so, so kind to yourself. Love yourself the way you want your baby to love herself. I grew up with a mom who was chronically ill and always fatigued. I have memories of her napping a lot, but also memories of reading stories together, baking cookies, painting, etc. Work with what you have, and just make her a part of it - I promise she will look back on her childhood with only love and appreciation.
I also have Crohn's and ADHD. 100% fatigue is still an issue even being in remission. Crohn's is an autoimmune disease.
What do you mean by naturally in remission?
Oh, my mom has Crohns (but not ADHD) and she always seemed to struggle with fatigue (even when in remission) until she started on her biologic. Going on a biologic is also one of the things I’ve done as treatment for my autoimmune arthritis.
Yeah, she and I have both been really lucky with how much it has helped us in that regard. When I started my infusions, the rheumatologist also told me that some people see a reduction in fatigue, while additional fatigue can be a side effect for some people.
To be honest, even just having the validation that my fatigue was a symptom and not just laziness was beneficial in terms of not judging myself so harshly, which seems to be an issue for OP. I’ve been able to look back on years of fatigue and reframe all of that to see how hard I was working in spite of it, rather than what I didn’t get done because of it. I hope even if OP isn’t able to get relief for their fatigue they can still look at it as a legitimate symptom and relinquish some of the shame they have around it. Everyone deserves to be gentle with themselves.
I think that this is a very good line of thought to keep in mind. For me, this was worst shortly after I had a hip injury back in fall of 2021 - bad insurance and my PCP suddenly vanishing turned into a snowball effect that eventually caused injury to my other hip... both of which are finally improving now that I've had reparative surgeries on each hip and am in recovery.
Ok ok I know this sounds tangential but STAY WITH ME lol
Stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain, etc.... these are all things that can cause ADHD-like symptoms in anyone, especially over a long period of time. So, of course, it stands to reason that they will exacerbate our usual symptoms.
When I say that I'm in recovery for two surgeries, I literally mean that I had one this past February and the other in April.... so I dealt with my hip bones fraying and tearing my labral tissues for 3 years and let me tell you, while surgical recovery is TERRIBLE for ADHD symptoms lol not being in constant pain allows for a shocking amount of mental clarity.
Sometimes it's the ADHD, but the ADHD is not the root of the problem.
SolitaryForager had a great response, and to add to it - I'm in here because my partner has really bad ADHD and I learn new stuff all the time here. One of the things we do is "body doubling" because it helps her to have a reminder and somebody else in the room. The mental load of just getting started is easier if you have someone to prod you a bit, and hang out with you while you do stuff. She's been having a much easier time in the year we've been consciously doing it.
Also, food. I know it's easy to forget to eat, and making food/stocking your pantry seems daunting. But you need calories to burn in order to have energy. Doesn't have to be rabbit food or a high-protein diet, just make sure you're giving your body literally ANYTHING to burn so you've got energy to do stuff. The "too tired to eat" cycle can get really vicious really fast.
How did they go about diagnosing you with an autoimmune disorder?? I’m constantly exhausted and yet my blood work comes back completely normal. My doctor suspects that my antidepressants are to blame, but I can’t survive without them. At this point, my doctor has told me that she doesn’t know what else to say to me.
Autoimmune disorders run in my family, so I’m not entirely ruling out that possibility
Well first, I had to find a doctor who actually listened and cared — not saying yours doesn’t, but just if they are unwilling to escalate to the next level of tests, don’t be afraid to seek out a second opinion, if possible. It took me a few years to get diagnosed once I started complaining about my fatigue, chronic back pain, and joint stiffness. Even with my high white blood cell count and a family history of autoimmune conditions, a couple doctors did not see a problem and didn’t want to do further testing. I got lucky with a resident at a teaching practice who was planning to specialize in rheumatology and got extremely excited to work me up.
I printed off a list of my symptoms with notes about frequency, severity, and length of time they had been ongoing. I also prepared a list of everyone in my family with any related condition and notes I had about overlapping symptoms (for example, during bad flare days or after specific activities, I would take a hobbling posture that was similar to a family member who had the same type of autoimmune arthritis I have). In addition to the info I prepared, I remember being asked a lot of questions, including about whether there was also a family history of psoriasis, a variety of symptoms that I wouldn’t have thought to list, and about my specific ethnic background. After I discussed all this information and all past lab information, I requested an ANA panel, blood testing for specific gene markers related to the conditions my family members have, and CRP and SED rate. (The labs you request might vary by symptoms/family history, so I recommend looking up diagnostic criteria for whatever you think your starting point should be.)
The doctor who finally listened was so flabbergasted about my family history and my blood test results that they also ordered an X-ray and an MRI without me having to even ask.
With some autoimmune conditions, inconclusive/negative results aren’t necessarily enough to rule out a diagnosis, especially if you’re in an early stage of your condition and/or not having an active flare during certain tests, so even if the results come back inconclusive, your provider may still diagnose you or refer you to a rheumatologist, which was the case for me.
Basically, the diagnostic process is ADHD hell because you have to be organized AF and may have to really advocate for yourself in order to get anywhere. Wishing you and anyone else who might find themselves in this situation all the best!
Also, checking in with an autoimmune but it's lame compared to other people who are commenting.
It's Hashimoto's disease which is an issue with my thyroid. I started seeing a new PCP who proceeded to get multiple vials of my blood to get a baseline of anything and she found my TSH was wicked high! So I got more blood work done based on that 1 result and saw a specialist who said very quickly that I have this based on extensive family history and my original blood test since the subsequent ones weren't needed. So, I just take a super cheap pill daily for the rest of my life.
Check your thyroid levels or TSH
Could you please share a little more if you don't mind? I have autoimmune issues myself after two rounds of severe lyme disease.. What kind of treatment do you recieve if you don't mind sharing? Fatigue is like being dead but with a heart beat..
This comment hit hard. I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve said that I feel like an animated corpse. For me, along with a bunch of other random physical problems, I definitely have central sleep apnea, and a couple drs/sleep specialists say that I likely have narcolepsy as well. (I can’t do the tests for it until I am off all medication for at least two weeks, and I have one that is going to take me about another year to taper off of properly.)
I am constantly so tired. I fall asleep all day long, at work, at home, no matter what I am doing I can still find myself jolting awake without even realizing I was dozing. Being on Vyvanse helps immensely. I know it is technically not why I am prescribed it, but still. It has got me to where I am able to drive without dozing at the wheel, and through the day I rarely fall asleep so hard that I am falling and hitting the floor before waking. But I still have constant tiredness, and I still have some days where I can get in bed and stay asleep for over 24 hours at a time, not counting bathroom breaks.
When bedtime comes, I pass out within a minute or two. I sometimes don’t even get to lay down before I fall asleep, just sit on the edge of the bed and start snoring. Which would be awesome except that I then proceed to spend the *entire night* doing anything but sleeping well.
I wake up every hour or so to go to the bathroom. I have nightmares. I sleep eat. I sleep walk, sleep talk, and embark upon sleep projects (dumb shit like I will wake up in the middle of cleaning stuff or repotting plants, but I’m not actually doing that stuff like it ought to be done)where I typically make giant messes or injure myself.
This is also not as bad since going on vyvanse. It used to be every night and now it’s once or twice a week.
Then, the morning comes, and I start the cycle over again. I’m so, so very tired.
> Fatigue is like being dead but with a heart beat..
Ugh, I couldn’t say it better myself!
I have autoimmune arthritis and I take gabapentin daily, prescription strength NSAIDS on bad pain/flare days, and an IV Infusion of a biologic med every few months. It varies for everyone and some people even see more fatigue, but my energy absolutely blossomed within days of starting the biologic infusions. I feel (physically) younger at 29 than I did at 15!
Bed is my safe space where I don’t feel overwhelmed by tasks that I may need to do. That’s why I like it. It’s also good for recovering from socializing and basically anything else. It’s just for comfort because if I get out of bed, life starts and it gets overwhelming. But I gotta get out sometime and face the music or whatever lol
For me, I had to stop being so hard on myself about the time I wanted to spend in my bed. Once I accepted it helped me in certain ways I was able to take on new/different tasks. Of course the stimulants help as well. Setting out a list the night before of things to accomplish the next day has also helped in the past.
But this is just my experience.
Would be nice to hear from others. I love bed. I’m lucky that financially I am well off and I don’t have much to do about work. But that leads to sitting in bed. I’ve gotten into a relationship which has forced me to work out and do some physical activity that helps.
This hit a little close to home.
I can spend hours just doing very little just lying on the bed. I tried so hard not to for the last few days but last night I just ended up pacing around the house, too tired to read, too early to go to bed and too bored with TV.
Right now all I want to do is lay on my bed and binge watch YouTube.
I'm waiting for my psychiatrist to approve my medication so it's caffeine pills until I can go home and just go idle.
My I have depression and adhd so the depression makes my bed rotting tendencies worse. Being on Wellbutrin has helped significantly with the energy level. Nothing works around my period time so I try to get my rest in those days because it’s just too hard. The meds don’t work as good during my period either. The aderral only lasts so long so by the time I get home from work all I wanna do is rot 😩 but if I do that then I don’t eat as good cuz I’ll go for cereal and fast making stuff like pancakes 😂 I also won’t tidy up so by the time the weekend comes my house is an overwhelming mess. Which will then make me wanna put it off and rot some more. Sometimes showering helps me energize enough to do something productive. Sometimes not sitting down after works helps I will put chairs on top of mattress and couch if I really need to 😅 right now I’m building up the energy to do a load of laundry but I’m procrastinating by looking at Reddit posts 😂
Are you me?
I relate 100%. I'm 39 and was just diagnosed this year so I have YEARS of rawdogging this sh*t under my belt and have found a few things that work for me. Wellbutrin for sure helps. Even if I have laid around in bed rotting until the afternoon, I can turn it around if I stand up and do the normal things I would do in the morning before work: make coffee, put on a bra, put shoes on. When I'm ultra depressed I use this rationale: "Hey self, this feels awful right now doesn't it? Just existing in this sad state? Would you feel worse if you got up and did one thing to make your life easier?" By now I have talked myself into getting up to do one thing, which builds momentum to do a second thing, etc. If I have a daunting task to accomplish, sometimes I'll do a bunch of smaller random tasks to kind of build up momentum for the big one. I did this today: slept too late, ate a bunch of cookies, felt bad about myself, decided to at least go do the discussion board post due for school this week. That led to me also doing the quiz that was due. I proceeded to do a ton of cleaning and reorganizing that I had been wanting to do and I can get into bed feeling tired and feeling like I didn't waste the day.
I'm the worst for this. It's also my naturally low BP - I thinky body just likes lying down more than any other position. I don't nap, just function whilst horizontal 😂
I’ve learned if when I get home I take off my shoes there is already a 50% chance I will get comfortable and bed/couch rot and never get back up. If I lay in bed or on the couch that jumps to a 90% probability lol. So I try to just never let myself do either of those two things until I want to sleep or whatever.
I’ve also learned I need to keep my days “time-stressed” such that I have stuff/activities scheduled preferably ones where I’m being held accountable (by friends, colleagues, a yoga class I really like going to) back to back nonstop so I literally don’t even have the opportunity to sit down and rot until it’s bedtime
Oh my god, you're a genius.
I can't stand outside shoes in the house, but I can 100% buy a pair of sneakers just for the house. No-shoes on bed or couch is highly ingrained, and Imma be too lazy to untie sneakers to lie on the bed.
I totally do the shoes thing as well. Something in my brain associates “Putting on shoes = day is starting, Taking off shoes = day is over.” Keeping them on until my tasks are actually complete has been extremely helpful.
next time it’s bad try this exercise where you slowly increase the activity.
just say all i have to do is lift my finger up (and mean it, give yourself true permission to go back to scrolling if that is what you really want to do). (extra points if you say i made a effort and i did a good job to yourself)
“all i have to do is look at the wall behind my phone” (and mean it). “all i have to do is sit up a little bit” (and mean it) “all i have to do is put one foot on the floor” “all i have to do is go look out the window for 30 seconds” etc but if getting up is truly too much do NOT beat yourself up for only getting to the lift your finger up stage because even doing that is really hard and you should be proud of yourself.
audhd here. yes. I don’t know how to stop, but I’m trying. will update if I figure out any tips to share. my mom constantly tells me I shouldn’t be so sedentary but I don’t know how else to exist. it’s not like I *want* to be like this. I don’t have a lot of energy, sensory wise I’m at my limit pretty regularly. I think it started as a habit in high school, going to school for 8 hours and back to bed rot for the rest of the night. it’s the only way I truly feel like I’m ‘recharging’.
Ritalin/Concerta is my most recent med, after trying every single anti depressant available.
And the only med that has actually helped. Since your Adderall does help, just not enough,
my uneducated guess is your Dr is headed in the right direction. A lot of this stuff, is
Trial and Error, and educated guessing.
Just a FYI: Ritalin is Instant Release and you need another dose in 3 hrs IIRC.
Concerta is supposed to be the same chemical, but Extended Release, so you only need one dose per day.
I started on Ritalin, 5mg(?) 3 times a day. Remembering when to take my next dose, was a hassle.
Now on 36mg of Concerta, hoping to go higher.
I wish the best for you and your baby.
Thank you very much! I can't even remember if I took my adderall today the past couple weeks I've been bad with forgetting to take it. I definitely need the XR since I can't even remember once a day lol
God, it's like I wrote this myself. And the worst part is that I don't have an autoimmune disease like some commenters suggested.
I don't have any advice, but I understand the struggle OP. Stay strong.
I feel ya! I also spend my free time in my bed. I’ve found though that once I can push myself to start moving and not sit…it gets the ball rolling. It’s definitely not easy to do but I always feel accomplished when I do.
Currently bedrotting, all the comfort I can give you is at least it doesn’t rob you of your productivity. I work from home so I spend weeks at a time doing relatively nothing, no hobbies, no workouts, no social contact, only bed on phone. It’ll have to be the active fight against the forbidden transition stage from bed to office or living room.
Often. I struggle forming romantic relationships due to an absolute terror of rejection. RSD is a nightmare. I know im quite attractive, fit and healthy, can hold down a full time job for decades, very charming and funny, kindhearted. But my self esteem and self worth fights tooth and nail against these objective facts. If I find someone attractive, it’s the absolute worst feeling ever, I start to spiral, with fear that if I ask them out I will be seen as a disgusting loser, completely without any merit. It’s hell.
All I know is that there are things that have to be done whether I want to or not. I am a SAHM to 3 kids so I have no choice but to do tasks. When my husband is home for his off days, I am bad about isolating in our room and laying in bed every time I get a chance. I would never leave my room/bed if I could have things my way.
Sometimes I will pitch a mini tantrum quietly to myself before I roll out of bed to do my morning chores. My little moment of defiance before I give in and comply.
Walk. Just a little. Around the block. Find music or a podcast or an audiobook that will hold your attention. Your brain wants to make you safe, and that’s something we should appreciate, but sometimes the brain has some maladaptive ways to make you safe. You can retrain that impulse, though. You really can, your brain is incredible. It’s hard at first, but you just meet it with curiosity. What if I just did this one little thing? What if I just put on my shoes? What if I just put the baby in the stroller? The trance you can get into is real, 1000%, and that protective part of your brain tries to tell you “if you do this you’ll be miserable” or you get that “all or nothing” compulsion. But you won’t be miserable and you can start anywhere without putting expectations on yourself. You DO have the power to shake yourself out of this. Start small and build on your momentum. Experiment. Be gentle with yourself. You absolutely can do this, and once you get moving most days you’ll feel great. You’re not alone, you’re most definitely not worthless, and it can get better, I promise.
Bed rotting at this exact moment. My wife also calls it 'nesting' when I'm wide awake and just need to stay in the Comfy Place for a few days. Brains are weird
I'm so disappointed in myself, and relieved to happen across this reddit site. I've been in bed for two days with these racing thoughts. Nothing harmful, but I know id feel better if I just got out.
I was the same way until I finally got medication. I was always just soooo lethargic and unmotivated.
I KNEW things needed to get done, and I was so overwhelmed thinking of how to even begin.
I finally feel like a functioning adult.
But yes. My whole life revolved around naps.
Free time? Nap.
Stressed out? Nap.
Bored? Nap.
Now I finally feel like I can complete tasks
I’ve been doing it for about ten years as well. It’s difficult to stop, and it makes it hard for me to follow through with responsibilities. Turned into couch rotting when I got my own place. Wish I could stop, but at least there’s solace in knowing that others are like me.
I have my watch set to remind me to stand up at least once an hour, which can help.
Playing the album “Tyrannosaurus Hives” at a reasonably loud volume reliably makes me so SOMETHING vertical. It somehow makes even washing dishes seem fun.
I imagine most struggle to stay in bed when your most favorite dance music comes on. Whoever song means you jump up and leave your drink behind as you head for the dance floor, listen to that.
I live in my bed. It's my favorite place to be. My laptop lives in my bed. I eat all my meals in bed. Basically everything that I CAN do in bed, I do. Since starting ADHD medication, it's drastically helped the urge to get up and DO THINGS. I can get up and do laundry, and various things and have actually spent more time on the couch and not just bed! I still spend a lot of time in bed though. Fortunately I don't really have responsibilities outside of work, so it's ok. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but you definitely not alone.
I figured out that masking was causing me severe anxiety and draining my social battery for the day. Basically, I was tired all the time because I was trying to hide my ADHD and mirror what behaviors I was seeing out in the world in order to fit in.
Find out what's really draining you and see if you can't do something to address it. Stimulants helped me a bit but maybe look in to being comfortable in your own skin as a solution. I was constantly anxious/self-conscious/hypervigilant all the time and it wore me out constantly even though I wasn't really doing much physically.
Your brain associates certain spaces with certain activities. When I learned this, I limited all activity in my bed to sleep and sex. Now when I lay down at night I fall asleep much more easily.. or get uncomfortably horny. No middle ground.
Do you have a separate space that you can call your own? Maybe a desk or something with a comfy office chair. I find myself defaulting to bed if I don't have a different space.
I did as a kid, and then I grew up and bed rot turned into couch rot 😂 which is what I’m doing right now even though I swore to myself I’d finally put my laundry away and do my dishes 🤷🏻♀️probably not happening tonight
I've had adhd for years but it's just started last year. I just got back from vacation a few months ago and realized I haven't left bed much. Even working at my desk seems impossible most days. It's so bad.
You’re not alone, and you are absolutely not worthless. It sounds like bed is your safe zone. How much have you spoken to your doctor, and do you maybe have any food intolerances? I recently found I had a food intolerance, and once I started cutting it out I did not need to or feel the desire to just stay in bed or rot on the couch.
Often when I do this, it’s caused by being tired. I’m tired and can only lay there, and I feel like shit because I can’t bring myself to do anything, and it breeds the worst of thoughts and ideations. Is what you’re doing day to day draining you too much? Is there stuff you can do to save energy though the day? You could also experiment with the other rooms, can you make any bed-like cozy spots that let you be in other parts of the room?
Yeah. Every day. Getting a job has added a lot to my life but when i get home i don’t do the mess of dishes in my sick or clean the garbage off my floor
I push really really hard to snap out of it with my daughter with mixed results. I say focus mostly on the musts, food, hygiene, homework all the main requirements and give your self some grace every now and then if you let them watch your TV while you zone out. Go to the mall or park or something kind of easy with them to force yourself out maybe. I think it helped that I actually had to fight real hard for custody and like prove myself as a father, but I still feel like I let her down all the time. And of course getting myself to do stuff for me is much harder haha. I'm drained a lot of the time setting up some schedule stuff for my daughter when I'm not used to it myself
When I’m unmedicated I sleep a ton. I could nap any time of day if I was in my bed. I saw a really helpful video on tiktok that finally made me feel like a little less of a piece of shit so hopefully it helps you!
[Intrusive Sleep](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNR1TggB/)
1) ask your doctor about other meds. i take vyvanse (love it) and i have a small 5mg adderall as needed in the afternoon. there’s lots of options. you may also need an antidepressant or something. who knows.
2) keep your shoes on! for some reason it helps keep your brain in work mode
3) good luck 💕
Same here. Always had issues with fatigue which makes it worse.
I got diagnosed with sleep apnea so I've been on that train with the hopes of finding a cure. It hasn't made a noticeable yet
I was bed rotting last week. I’ve found that the best way to get out of that is to play super upbeat music as loudly as possible, whether that be with a speaker or headphones. (My go-to is to shuffle 1989 (Taylor’s Version) and start with Shake it Off (TV))
I do this. It’s really hard to stop. And the best way to get a handle on it is to have nothing in the bedroom besides the bed. Use the room and bed for sleep only. But I def do this and actively feel the need to hide that I do it too. And Adderall doesn’t work for task avoidance AT ALL. I wish i was motivated to get up and do stuff from it.
Used to bed rot a lot. Started working outdoor retail to force and incentivize being social and eventually picked up hobbies that take up all that time I would have on the bed. My most successful one has been Cycling because you can ride low effort at long distance and lose some weight, increase cardiovascular health, and pump endorphins and feel good.
I spend heaps of time glued to my sofa and I'm trying to overcome it too.
I found out that if I'm warm and the house isn't cold either, it's less likely that I'll feel the urge to crawl into my nest and stay there forever.
Sometimes when I want to lie down but don't want to spend hours doing it, I might actually lie down in bed (because for some reason I don't actually feel like spending ages there). Maybe you could try to do it in reverse and lie down on the sofa instead.
I have left my job 2 months ago and all I have done is lay in bed all day and have barely apply for jobs, I also don’t know what to do with myself just rotting away everyday
I definitely bed rot for a few days on end, and then I find that after that phase as has passed, I’m a bit more driven and motivated to get things done! Much needed rest for me I think, and it’s easy to fall into feeling useless, you just have to remember that your body knows best, even when you think you know better. Remind yourself that’s it’s temporary and will eventually fade. The loneliness will creep in, and feelings of worth will fade in and out, but you have to remember it’s temporary. You feel lonely because most of the time, you ARE alone, you may feel worthless because the things you did that make you feel like you have worth, you’re not currently doing them. Your worth is not determined by your productivity, but by the very essence of your BEING, and EXISTENCE. Hang in there bud…it’s all good…and you’ll be okay. (:
Separate your sleeping place from your activity place. That's really essential for breaking out of this behavior.
Try to build a space where you get the same wholesome feeling that your bed gives to you and move your hobbies and "sit down and regenerate" moments to that spot.
Ive been calling or referring to it as vegetable days, I plant myself in bed, cover Myself with a duvet, and pretend to be a vegetable, just sleep or try to sleep.
Thanks for the reminder. I know I can’t do it. I get too overwhelmed, too much anxiety, and love to be alone. I don’t like being responsible for my stuff much less the meals, clothes, emotions, and existence of whole separate human beings.
I recommend not doing your activities on the bed. It may be turning into a habit.
Also do you see a therapist? You may have depression. I know I feel like this but it's usually during depressive episodes.
I also may be sick with covid after my mom tested positive for it last night ..she started feeling sick last Saturday but I stayed at least 6 feet away from her at home so.. hoping its mild..
I stopped "bed-rotting" when I got a put-away bed. Saves space and prevents bedrot. I never felt the need to bedrot, since it involves removing clothes far too early in the day, sweat, physical fatigue etc... I hate the idea of it to be honest
Yes. Start with small goals like spending an hour outside away from your bed (outside is good) and build from there. I think it’s partly because it’s become habit but also because being in bed is safe and comfortable.
ADHD can be so much more complicated than people realize, especially for women because you have to factor in the hormonal changes. Just make a small goal, do your best to keep it and when you’ve achieved it you can add more and slowly build your way back to “normal”.
There are a few great tips to help with bed rot.
1) Get out of bed on your first alarm
2) Immediately open your blinds, let in the light
3) Open the window and leave it open so the room is inhospitable/cold
4) Make your bed, so you are less likely to get back in (signals your brain)
4.5) leave your bedroom and close the door behind you
5) remove all objects that aren’t for sleeping or sex
6) relocate your possessions to their more appropriate space
7) have a time cut off (not allowed in the bedroom until 8pm for example)
8) Schedule an after work/childcare activity that you can use to leave the house while partner is with baby. Something soothing like relaxation yoga, painting etc.
I think bed rot is about a feeling of safety and calm. Actively foster this feeling in other areas of your home. Add candles to the living room, placemats you love for the dinning room, a small speaker in the bathroom for music during baths etc.
I know that’s overwhelming. If you have to start somewhere start with opening the blinds and windows and leaving the room.
Love rotting in bed. But if I do my day is over. Occupy my time in what ways I can. Usually most of my non work time is cooking/cleaning/housework/ hanging with wife or friends/ video games. Bed rot Saturday is my guilty pleasure tho, doesn’t happen often
There is a really good c ncept of creating spaces also referred to as sacred spaces. It is really good for creating spaces for certain things. You should create spaces for different things even if it's in one room. Your bed for sleep or reflection. Your floor for stretching. The corner for reading and art.
Not saying those spots for those things specifically but you have to break up your space to specific activities. If you don't you wash over activities you would like to do with activities that are typical to do.
Consider that you’re dealing with postpartum. I wonder if validating it as that could give you some sense of control versus generalizing your condition as something long-standing. What a big task being a mom! Hope you can start feeling better.
I tried stasis and it kinda helped. I still bed rot bc it’s comfy, yikes.
When I signed up for workout classes that forced me out of the house so I felt like it was a gradual peeling away from my bed and I tried to pick the fun classes vs the intense ones.
Being out in the sun for 15 mins also helps my adhd, it’s a nice break during the workday too.
I think that’s normal for nursing school btw, my old roomie was in school and had to rot and watch SpongeBob after class, but she’d nap and then get ready to socialize. She prioritized blocks of having fun vs recharging as a routine.
Same. And it’s not like I’m miserable, if I wanted to go out I would but I’m content laying in bed. It’s my comfort zone but I thought it was bc I’m lazy
Maybe change the name from 'bed rot' to recharging station/place or something... a change in mindset will help self esteem. It sounds like you need to rest a lot in order to function and that's okay. (Me too!) Therapy can be super helpful to learn tools and skills to manage ADHD, a therapist can help to embed new routines and habits into your life, too! Definitely worth a shout. Good luck :)
I did this for too many years. Started to actually get out of bed more when I decided to quit my job, surprisingly. I felt guilty laying around in bed and being unemployed, so I pretty much just moved to my living room & tried not to “couch rot!”
Then, I recently got on medication and although it does require a lot of effort to get up still, I tell myself I’m wasting my meds by just chillin (sitting or laying around) so I make myself get up. I tend to just feel worse if I allow myself to lay around all day, I feel guilty about it. So, I don’t really have advice or answers. I have to force myself to get up. Often I use a reward system “we can go get a fun (non alcoholic) beverage at the co-op if you do x,y,z!”
Cover your bed up. Like really cover it. Not with things you’ll push around and make room with. Things that will feel too annoying to move. So you’ll have to become couch rot. I think it may be the next step. I can’t be sure though. I’ll let you know when this couch rot stage ends. Been here 6 or 7 years.
I was like this too, ever since I was a teenager. Adderall didn’t really help with it but Vyvanse really gets me up off my butt, I wouldn’t be able to lie around all day now even if I tried.
Also, I’m 39 now and have bad posture/pelvic tilt from being so sedentary all my life. I’m slowly improving it but it’s hard. You may be able to prevent this as you’re only 26. Maybe that could be motivation for you to get up and walk around a bit more.
I also have struggled with “Bed-Rot” and a few years ago it was absolutely ruining my life. In fact it was so bad that it was what made me go to the doctors to seek help, lo and behold turned out I had ADHD Type inattentive. Got prescribed medication and it changed my life, but was still occasionally struggling with “bed-rot”.
Something that has massively helped me was after having a blood test (for an entirely separate reason) was that I got diagnosed with B12 deficiency. Now I’m having B12 shots every 3 months and it’s massively made a difference on top of the medication.
Put simply: that even on medication, I’ve noticed that if I’m at the tail end of my 3 months I struggle. Conversely, if I have had my B12 recently but forgotten to take my medication I also struggle.
*When I’m on both*, I’m fantastic and wake up early and have actually restful sleep. (Not bed-rot lethargic sleep but actual genuine REM cycle sleep).
As far as I understand, *(and please bare in mind I say this with absolutely no medical authority or expertise and am merely repeating how doctor had explained to me)*
-it’s something to do with how B12 handles metabolism, and if you’re deficient in B12 you may struggle with not only metabolising your medication but everything else that regulates your body which massively effects your ability to function.
Now, that is *not* to say if you are struggling with “bed-rot” that you are B12 deficient.
But what I’m trying to articulate is that if you are on medication and still struggle with Bed-Rot from time to time, it is worth looking going to a doctor to check for any additional causes for lethargy. Often the problems you face are not merely one but two that compounding the same symptoms. You might find that the medication you have is actually helping more than you realise but you’re not able to actualise on that because you are also dealing with another issue.
Have furniture be “the spot” for different activities. Your bed should only be for sleeping and banging. Reading goes in a chair, drawing at a table, and playing with the baby in a specific room. It’ll be much easier to go to sleep without being distracted because it’s all you’ll do there.
I get up and lay down again when I feel tired… I just accepted that it might be a little more often than other people. I still get things done, but I take a lot of breaks… adhd can drain you a lot even if you don’t think you are not doing a lot. I have more energy than before, but I still need rest… I just try to give myself a bit more compassion. You can also watch YouTube/netflix/tiktok/reddit/mobile games while doing the dishes and stuff… so I try to do that and when I really get tired I sit or lay down a bit and then get up again (maybe also set timers and don’t feel like you can not extend them for a bit if you really need more time…)
Accepting my need for more rest, has made my mental Health better… also thinking about how much mental work we do makes you feel not as worthless
Planning your day is already work… planning what you eat or what you need to grocery shop or making a to do list.
I’ve come to terms with my bed rotting. It’s not going anywhere since that’s my coping mechanism for the rest of the world 😭 it’s the only place I feel relaxed
Alarm clock goes across the room, and I only go back to bed for sleep that night. Can't do a lot about sitting in my comfy desk chair or couch too much, but being stuck in bed is the worst.
41 and I still do it…. My partner has different issues (depression, ocd, agoraphobia, possibly undiagnosed autism) so I feel like such a s—t when I do, but sometimes I have no energy for life. He understands me better than anyone tho, so I’m lucky to have him.
A while back I saw a video describing how to live isolated in space and keep sane/organized. He basically divided the pod into very specific sections/rooms and gave them purpose. If you were in that room for more than an hour (like laying in bed) but not doing the thing it was designed/intended for (sleeping) then leave. Go to another area, do something else. It really helps honestly. Try adding an incentive to leaving to go do something else as well, even if it’s getting to eat some m&ms or something.
I always hated getting up. Like dreaming feels so pleasant compared to reality in 90% of cases. Especially if you're woken up forcefully. But only just now I'm at a point where I consciously procrastinate going to bed and try to sleep as long as possible because there is nothing for me to wale up for, I hate everything in my life and have lost all hope to improve it, so I just sleep. Also at 26
Yeah I bed rot the entire weekend last weekend. I feel guilty about it but I just accept that it's part of my mental illness (bipolar) and I shouldnt beat myself up over it.
LITERALLY same. I've taken 60 mg of Vyvanse for more than 10 years and yet it only helps with the *ability* to focus and regulate mood. I still have to put in effort to focus and regulate mood. Plus all I want to do is lay in bed and play video games anyways T_T
I'm really sorry you're dealing this this. There's no silver bullet, and dealing with this will be a long term process. However, a good short term starting point is a change of enviroment.
How about going for a walk? Throw on some music or an audio book if you like, and just walk through any nice ish area near you (especially somewhere with trees). This is an opportunity to break the cycle and give you a chance to think new thoughts.
Good luck. You CAN get through this and improve long term.
I definitely bed rot. I spend all my time that I got free in bed. I just love my bed. I also eat in bed, too. The only times I'm not in bed are bathroom, kitchen, or I'm playing video games downstairs for a little. I'm on Vyvanse but I have been rotting for yrs.
Absolutely. I'm disabled on top of this, so combined, I'm literally in my bed constantly. I am slowly losing my mind. But if I leave my bed and go do stuff, I'm in severe pain. And my doctors won't prescribe anything that helps. So my body is falling apart and I have been at my mental breaking point these past few weeks from how severe the pain has been getting. I want more than anything to be able to go to the store even with my family. They don't even bother taking me places because it'll flare me horribly. So here I am, 21 and glued to my bed.
It took me a long, long time to break free from the "lay down and rot" mentality and it's still a work in progress: But with time, therapy, and lots of hard work on my self I have started moving past it and feeling better about myself and the life I live. There is no magic bullet or cure, although things like anti-depressants or ADHD medication can help. It takes prolonged, concentrated effort and continual work to overcome through which you are going to have many ups and downs and will have to repeatedly push yourself past that feeling of hopelessness and despair. It's like hitting the gym, it doesn't happen instantly and it is really hard at first, but if you don't put in the time consistently it'll never get better.
If you haven't already started, find a therapist that *actually works for you* (not just the first one you find), talk to your doctor about trying certain medications that may help, and create long term achievable, measurable goals to keep you focused on gradual self improvement. Find and make friends who offer a strong support network and motivate you to get out of bed, make plans and follow through on them. Over time, it will slowly get easier. It'll never be effortless, but it will get easier and you'll slowly start feeling better about yourself and more capable in life.
I know that this feels like worthless advice, like I'm just saying "get over it" but that's not it at all. I know this isn't something you can just will yourself through. My point is that it's hard, it's *really* **fucking** hard. But you have to try, and you have to keep trying, and most importantly you have to find resources that help you manage the symptoms while you try. You'll have backslides and fuck ups, it's only human. Don't feel bad about it when you can't sometimes and don't blame yourself for falling short of your goals. It's not your fault, you suffer from a real condition and your experiences matter. That stuff is real and deserves to be recognized. You need to also be patient with yourself and accept your limitations. You need to accept that progress is slow, and that doesn't mean you are failing or not making progress. You need to accept that sometimes it gets worse before to gets better. Accepting yourself were you are at is just as important as working on bettering yourself, because shame is the single greatest enemy to healing. You can't get better if you never forgive yourself or be patient with yourself for struggling in the first place.
I didn’t know “bed rot” was a term. Yes. This is me.
I actually have an internal fight with myself asking “why can’t you get up?” There’s an activation switch that is missing in my head. But I am also tired. I can sleep any time anywhere.
I think maybe I’m made to be a cat. Snooze all the time. They don’t worry about sleeping too much. They go with it.
Me me me me me!
I have a bad back too so I lay on my heating pad and lay in bed whenever I get a chance. Rarely do I nap. I’ll watch tv but usually just kind of tune out on my phone. And I’m 33. I didn’t start doing this until I was a college age/ adult cause my parents would have never let me do it. Once I discovered it… game over. But yeah what other people have said. It’s a safe space from distractions and pressure and socializing.
Yeah as I've aged I've found myself being generally far more tired for no reason. Some days it takes me hours and hours to get up after waking. Seems to get worse with anxiety and stress in life too. No idea how to fix it.
Check your nutrition with a specialist, ASAP.
I'm also a parent, and I know too well that your kid's needs can't be procrastinated. This level of low energy is definitely not normal, and your kids need you to be present physically and emotionally.
Story of my life. I haven’t left my bed for like 3 years lmao except to go to work and the grocery store. It’s my comfort zone. It’s my happy place. But it also isolates me and pushes me further into depression I think. And it keeps me from going outside. It’s my favourite place but it’s also my downfall
When you're stuck in bed rot, it's time to use the skill "opposite action." What SHOULD you be doing instead of lying in bed? Shower? Eat? Sit in another room? Play a game? Is it task avoidance? No one likes opposite action until they start. Then it's not so bad. Saying this for myself, too.
I didn’t realize bed rot was also applicable to ADHD. Now to figure out if I do it because of that or because of depression. The odds are against me lol
I did this for the longest time and it made it really hard for me to fall asleep at night, because I was doing pretty much everything in the place where I should be able to relax and wind down in. If you like to draw in bed, you could move the things you usually use for this, like your sketchbook and pencils, to the living room or another place you could make into a comfortable drawing space. I sometimes notice that I’m slowly start to move activities back to my bed again, but once I move the things I use for them to the living room or kitchen, it only takes me like 3 times of using them there to get used to it. Sorry, I feel like this is such a vague message, but I haven’t taken my medication today (which unfortunately proofs I def still need it). Anyways, I hope this helps.
i built a full 5.1.2 dolby atmos home theater around my bed. got a queen size day bed frame with a giant memory foam body pillow thing for a backrest and my partner and i live in this bed like every night. it’s crazy.
I usually only experience bed rot when I go through some sort of "traumatic experience" of some kind. When I do though its easily a month or so at a time i go through it. Though it doesn't usually just revolve around my bed, I'll "Bed rot" on the sofa, my gaming chair, even sometimes outside on a lawn chair. I don't take any form of medications though, maybe that is something that actually is limiting how the bed rot sets in?
Definitely been there. My doc got me to do a half dose of adderall twice a week and it helped — think I had developed a tolerance. Got so it felt like it didn’t do anything at all. But the half doses really helped. And exercise helps a huge amt (I’m not so good at that right now). Sending hugs
I used to but it severely affected my sleep so I stopped, it's really hard at first but just start out by making yourself do things that you enjoy doing in other locations. You'll eventually get used to it and then prefer to be else where when you are doing those things. It's also really important to designate a place for doing certain actions. Just think of it like you must take a shower in your bathroom. You wouldn't want to whip out the extendable kitchen sink and shower in the kitchen. Every action should have it's own place and it sounds like for you everything happens in bed so just slowly start changing your place for doing those things.
I've been bed rotting since last December. So basically my semester got over and my next semester I was supposed to look for an internship. There was a lot of sht going on at home and I was honestly just tired of everything so I just..gave up.
Meanwhile, everybody in my class got an internship and even finished it 💀 I was there for the final presentation and I hadn't even found an internship and my college semester was over.
I had a lot of plans and everything fell through and I felt so lost so I just..sat around existing. I mean I finally found an internship but I'm way behind and it's pretty frustrating.
Funny thing is, I used to be the complete opposite, I would never go near my bed even when I was tired, I'd be exhausted but I wouldn't let myself rest (that's pretty unhealthy but Idk why I used to do tht).
But yeah, I still feel stuck, but in between it had gotten pretty bad, I even stopped eating. I would eat a lot and try and gain weight when I was out and then for weeks i would bed rott and lose it all over again. I was literally preparing my body to bed rott cause I knew in a few days i wouldn't have the energy :')
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I’m the exact same. And when I start bed rotting, 90% chance I end up wanting to nap and then napping for 3-4 hours at a time. Because of this, I have shifted to working in other spaces (eg. living room). The trouble is my bed rot has morphed into couch rot now, but it’s still slightly better than it was before 😅
I don't remember posting this earlier today. Weird.
I didn’t remember posting this either. I checked the user names, and we didn’t post them. Those internet strangers are just getting in our head to share our lives online again apparently
Same except I’ve moved to a comfy chair with ottoman and blanket ☺️
Help. King bed, shark plush that’s bigger than me, pillows and blankets galore I worked 22 hours yesterday (driving), got turned back around to my work van twice this morning and passed out from the exhaustion at noon. My dispatch was like, “Hey can you do this I really need help with this one” I slept until about 4:30 today. It’s been four hours
Say NO. They clearly won't guard your time and health you have to. And it sounds dangerous.
And potentially illegal. If their job requires a CDL in the US, there are limits on how long one is legally allowed to drive without endangering their license. I don’t know details, just friends with truck drivers. Definitely a “Hell No” to that request!
This isn’t a CDL gig it’s rideshare
Gotcha, I have no idea what the legal implications in that instance might be. I hope you can get the rest you desperately need!
Buddy that aint bed rot, that is you working a 22 hour shift and being dead tired from said shift. There are places that give you two days of rest after such bullshit.
Well they ain’t here in my LCOL-ahh city
That’s the way! I do the horizontal couch rot - and I love it… I don’t really feel “bad” about it, but mind you I don’t have people necessarily dependent on me. I’m pleased to see that we’re all in this together.
Yes, I too am couch rot now. I’ve basically forgotten my bed exists. I don’t nap though. I just do everything from here. Work, eat, watch tv, write, pet my dogs. Couch rot feels more productive. Maybe soon I’ll become treadmill rot.
I just moved from bed rotting to couch rotting, I consider it significant progress! I just started by forcing myself to move from my bed to the couch as soon as I woke up, but it helps I have the incentive of needing to get up and get caffeine in my body. It feels weird and shitty and wrong for awhile but that's okay, you can feel bad until it doesn't feel bad anymore. It took a few weeks but now it's pretty automatic for me. What motivated me was my cats, it sounds like you already have a good motivation OP - now it's just about taking that first step, write a little reminder for yourself or start trying to spend just an hour outside of your bedroom a day. Half an hour if that's too much. Use this to practice self-discipline and consistency over perfection or immediate, dramatic change. Spending five minutes out of your room is still better than spending no minutes outside of it. Find fun things to do with your kid that require more space or a specific area of where you live and start building happy memories and associations with places beyond your bedroom. It takes time but it's totally doable.
I also love a good bet rot and it started at the same age for me. I recently got diagnosed with an autoimmune condition and now that I’m receiving treatment for it, I have infinitely more energy. Granted the hobby of bed rotting is still kind of there for me while I figure out what I want to replace it with… Is there any chance your bed rotting preference is could be driven by actual fatigue? There are several common comorbidities like sleep disorders and depression which have fatigue as a symptom and it might be worth a chat with your doctor to see if there could be another underlying issue.
I think that if I had energy I would be able to get out of bed more. I definitely am fatigued and have wondered if I have some type of autoimmune. I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease and now that I think about it, it was around the age my "bed rotting" began. I have been naturally in remission though for about 3 years
I have ADHD and Crohn’s as well (among other things) and the fatigue is real. If I don’t sleep well (which isn’t infrequent) it is almost debilitating. If I do sleep well it’s still a struggle. Meds do help, but honestly it is a conscious effort to ‘just keep swimming’ every day. It’s essential to avoid complete bed rot (ie ‘no zero’) days. What do you need to give yourself a win today? Be fair and kind to yourself. Is it dishes? Is it having a shower? Ok, you do that and you got your win for the day. No feeling bad about any of the rest of it. And then just keep doing that every day. Move your body - doesn’t have to be a lot, just don’t be still for long periods. Timers are good for this if you ‘just need to sit for a minute’ and tend to lose track until it’s been an hour and you’re feeling even more tired because you spent it sedentary and doom scrolling. Fatigue tells your mind to rest, but sometimes resting too much can make it worse and you end up in a vicious cycle. So don’t rest unless you mean it - rest with intention, don’t just sit down and be tired and think of what you should be doing while feeling guilty about it. If you need to rest, go have a nap, meditate, close your eyes and listen to a story, whatever, and set a timer. Maybe 30 minutes, maybe 2 hours. Whatever you need. When that’s done, stand up and move your body, stretch, have something to drink. Think about how your body feels now. Good to go for a bit? Awesome. Tell yourself ‘well done’ on your quality rest! Exhausted? If you are able to, reset the timer and rest a little more. Try not to do it while scrolling your phone. The idea is to truly give your brain and body a break from stimulus. Passive stimulus is best (music, podcast, etc) if you *need* something, but also try just meditating with some white noise for a few minutes. Oh, and be careful of going ‘120%’ on that rare day you’re feeling almost normal. You might feel like you have to do extra to catch up, but then accidentally end up spending tomorrow’s spoons on today. Pace yourself and use the energy for self care, not just getting things done. You may always be tired. I won’t lie to you. It may always take effort. But doing the above helps keep the bed rot away. You might even find your tolerance for ‘doing stuff’ while tired gets better and you can keep going for longer. I could honestly keep going but a lot of fatigue management is very individualized as you may already know, and I’ve probably already typed stuff that isn’t applicable or helpful, lol! (Ok last one!!!) Be so, so kind to yourself. Love yourself the way you want your baby to love herself. I grew up with a mom who was chronically ill and always fatigued. I have memories of her napping a lot, but also memories of reading stories together, baking cookies, painting, etc. Work with what you have, and just make her a part of it - I promise she will look back on her childhood with only love and appreciation.
Wish I could upvote this more
I wish i could save this comment as a post!!
You actually can :)
Omg thank u!
Thank you so much. This is insanely helpful.
I also have Crohn's and ADHD. 100% fatigue is still an issue even being in remission. Crohn's is an autoimmune disease. What do you mean by naturally in remission?
Oh, my mom has Crohns (but not ADHD) and she always seemed to struggle with fatigue (even when in remission) until she started on her biologic. Going on a biologic is also one of the things I’ve done as treatment for my autoimmune arthritis.
I take a biologic for my Crohn’s and fatigue is still very present, though not as bad as when it is flaring.
Yeah, she and I have both been really lucky with how much it has helped us in that regard. When I started my infusions, the rheumatologist also told me that some people see a reduction in fatigue, while additional fatigue can be a side effect for some people. To be honest, even just having the validation that my fatigue was a symptom and not just laziness was beneficial in terms of not judging myself so harshly, which seems to be an issue for OP. I’ve been able to look back on years of fatigue and reframe all of that to see how hard I was working in spite of it, rather than what I didn’t get done because of it. I hope even if OP isn’t able to get relief for their fatigue they can still look at it as a legitimate symptom and relinquish some of the shame they have around it. Everyone deserves to be gentle with themselves.
I think that this is a very good line of thought to keep in mind. For me, this was worst shortly after I had a hip injury back in fall of 2021 - bad insurance and my PCP suddenly vanishing turned into a snowball effect that eventually caused injury to my other hip... both of which are finally improving now that I've had reparative surgeries on each hip and am in recovery. Ok ok I know this sounds tangential but STAY WITH ME lol Stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain, etc.... these are all things that can cause ADHD-like symptoms in anyone, especially over a long period of time. So, of course, it stands to reason that they will exacerbate our usual symptoms. When I say that I'm in recovery for two surgeries, I literally mean that I had one this past February and the other in April.... so I dealt with my hip bones fraying and tearing my labral tissues for 3 years and let me tell you, while surgical recovery is TERRIBLE for ADHD symptoms lol not being in constant pain allows for a shocking amount of mental clarity. Sometimes it's the ADHD, but the ADHD is not the root of the problem.
SolitaryForager had a great response, and to add to it - I'm in here because my partner has really bad ADHD and I learn new stuff all the time here. One of the things we do is "body doubling" because it helps her to have a reminder and somebody else in the room. The mental load of just getting started is easier if you have someone to prod you a bit, and hang out with you while you do stuff. She's been having a much easier time in the year we've been consciously doing it. Also, food. I know it's easy to forget to eat, and making food/stocking your pantry seems daunting. But you need calories to burn in order to have energy. Doesn't have to be rabbit food or a high-protein diet, just make sure you're giving your body literally ANYTHING to burn so you've got energy to do stuff. The "too tired to eat" cycle can get really vicious really fast.
How did they go about diagnosing you with an autoimmune disorder?? I’m constantly exhausted and yet my blood work comes back completely normal. My doctor suspects that my antidepressants are to blame, but I can’t survive without them. At this point, my doctor has told me that she doesn’t know what else to say to me. Autoimmune disorders run in my family, so I’m not entirely ruling out that possibility
Well first, I had to find a doctor who actually listened and cared — not saying yours doesn’t, but just if they are unwilling to escalate to the next level of tests, don’t be afraid to seek out a second opinion, if possible. It took me a few years to get diagnosed once I started complaining about my fatigue, chronic back pain, and joint stiffness. Even with my high white blood cell count and a family history of autoimmune conditions, a couple doctors did not see a problem and didn’t want to do further testing. I got lucky with a resident at a teaching practice who was planning to specialize in rheumatology and got extremely excited to work me up. I printed off a list of my symptoms with notes about frequency, severity, and length of time they had been ongoing. I also prepared a list of everyone in my family with any related condition and notes I had about overlapping symptoms (for example, during bad flare days or after specific activities, I would take a hobbling posture that was similar to a family member who had the same type of autoimmune arthritis I have). In addition to the info I prepared, I remember being asked a lot of questions, including about whether there was also a family history of psoriasis, a variety of symptoms that I wouldn’t have thought to list, and about my specific ethnic background. After I discussed all this information and all past lab information, I requested an ANA panel, blood testing for specific gene markers related to the conditions my family members have, and CRP and SED rate. (The labs you request might vary by symptoms/family history, so I recommend looking up diagnostic criteria for whatever you think your starting point should be.) The doctor who finally listened was so flabbergasted about my family history and my blood test results that they also ordered an X-ray and an MRI without me having to even ask. With some autoimmune conditions, inconclusive/negative results aren’t necessarily enough to rule out a diagnosis, especially if you’re in an early stage of your condition and/or not having an active flare during certain tests, so even if the results come back inconclusive, your provider may still diagnose you or refer you to a rheumatologist, which was the case for me. Basically, the diagnostic process is ADHD hell because you have to be organized AF and may have to really advocate for yourself in order to get anywhere. Wishing you and anyone else who might find themselves in this situation all the best!
Also, checking in with an autoimmune but it's lame compared to other people who are commenting. It's Hashimoto's disease which is an issue with my thyroid. I started seeing a new PCP who proceeded to get multiple vials of my blood to get a baseline of anything and she found my TSH was wicked high! So I got more blood work done based on that 1 result and saw a specialist who said very quickly that I have this based on extensive family history and my original blood test since the subsequent ones weren't needed. So, I just take a super cheap pill daily for the rest of my life. Check your thyroid levels or TSH
Could you please share a little more if you don't mind? I have autoimmune issues myself after two rounds of severe lyme disease.. What kind of treatment do you recieve if you don't mind sharing? Fatigue is like being dead but with a heart beat..
This comment hit hard. I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve said that I feel like an animated corpse. For me, along with a bunch of other random physical problems, I definitely have central sleep apnea, and a couple drs/sleep specialists say that I likely have narcolepsy as well. (I can’t do the tests for it until I am off all medication for at least two weeks, and I have one that is going to take me about another year to taper off of properly.) I am constantly so tired. I fall asleep all day long, at work, at home, no matter what I am doing I can still find myself jolting awake without even realizing I was dozing. Being on Vyvanse helps immensely. I know it is technically not why I am prescribed it, but still. It has got me to where I am able to drive without dozing at the wheel, and through the day I rarely fall asleep so hard that I am falling and hitting the floor before waking. But I still have constant tiredness, and I still have some days where I can get in bed and stay asleep for over 24 hours at a time, not counting bathroom breaks. When bedtime comes, I pass out within a minute or two. I sometimes don’t even get to lay down before I fall asleep, just sit on the edge of the bed and start snoring. Which would be awesome except that I then proceed to spend the *entire night* doing anything but sleeping well. I wake up every hour or so to go to the bathroom. I have nightmares. I sleep eat. I sleep walk, sleep talk, and embark upon sleep projects (dumb shit like I will wake up in the middle of cleaning stuff or repotting plants, but I’m not actually doing that stuff like it ought to be done)where I typically make giant messes or injure myself. This is also not as bad since going on vyvanse. It used to be every night and now it’s once or twice a week. Then, the morning comes, and I start the cycle over again. I’m so, so very tired.
> Fatigue is like being dead but with a heart beat.. Ugh, I couldn’t say it better myself! I have autoimmune arthritis and I take gabapentin daily, prescription strength NSAIDS on bad pain/flare days, and an IV Infusion of a biologic med every few months. It varies for everyone and some people even see more fatigue, but my energy absolutely blossomed within days of starting the biologic infusions. I feel (physically) younger at 29 than I did at 15!
Bed is my safe space where I don’t feel overwhelmed by tasks that I may need to do. That’s why I like it. It’s also good for recovering from socializing and basically anything else. It’s just for comfort because if I get out of bed, life starts and it gets overwhelming. But I gotta get out sometime and face the music or whatever lol
Yeah and I think the term ‘bed rot’ does not do this idea justice. Can we coin a better term?
So what do people do? The only solution I’ve found is stimulants or a serious relationship.
For me, I had to stop being so hard on myself about the time I wanted to spend in my bed. Once I accepted it helped me in certain ways I was able to take on new/different tasks. Of course the stimulants help as well. Setting out a list the night before of things to accomplish the next day has also helped in the past. But this is just my experience.
Would be nice to hear from others. I love bed. I’m lucky that financially I am well off and I don’t have much to do about work. But that leads to sitting in bed. I’ve gotten into a relationship which has forced me to work out and do some physical activity that helps.
This hit a little close to home. I can spend hours just doing very little just lying on the bed. I tried so hard not to for the last few days but last night I just ended up pacing around the house, too tired to read, too early to go to bed and too bored with TV. Right now all I want to do is lay on my bed and binge watch YouTube. I'm waiting for my psychiatrist to approve my medication so it's caffeine pills until I can go home and just go idle.
I got out of bed at 7:45 today. 7:45**pm**. So I guess I have to go with "yes".
Thank you for being honest about this.
My I have depression and adhd so the depression makes my bed rotting tendencies worse. Being on Wellbutrin has helped significantly with the energy level. Nothing works around my period time so I try to get my rest in those days because it’s just too hard. The meds don’t work as good during my period either. The aderral only lasts so long so by the time I get home from work all I wanna do is rot 😩 but if I do that then I don’t eat as good cuz I’ll go for cereal and fast making stuff like pancakes 😂 I also won’t tidy up so by the time the weekend comes my house is an overwhelming mess. Which will then make me wanna put it off and rot some more. Sometimes showering helps me energize enough to do something productive. Sometimes not sitting down after works helps I will put chairs on top of mattress and couch if I really need to 😅 right now I’m building up the energy to do a load of laundry but I’m procrastinating by looking at Reddit posts 😂
Are you me? I relate 100%. I'm 39 and was just diagnosed this year so I have YEARS of rawdogging this sh*t under my belt and have found a few things that work for me. Wellbutrin for sure helps. Even if I have laid around in bed rotting until the afternoon, I can turn it around if I stand up and do the normal things I would do in the morning before work: make coffee, put on a bra, put shoes on. When I'm ultra depressed I use this rationale: "Hey self, this feels awful right now doesn't it? Just existing in this sad state? Would you feel worse if you got up and did one thing to make your life easier?" By now I have talked myself into getting up to do one thing, which builds momentum to do a second thing, etc. If I have a daunting task to accomplish, sometimes I'll do a bunch of smaller random tasks to kind of build up momentum for the big one. I did this today: slept too late, ate a bunch of cookies, felt bad about myself, decided to at least go do the discussion board post due for school this week. That led to me also doing the quiz that was due. I proceeded to do a ton of cleaning and reorganizing that I had been wanting to do and I can get into bed feeling tired and feeling like I didn't waste the day.
I used to rot in bed, and then I got my own apartment. Now I rot on my couch until it’s time to go to bed. It’s a lifestyle.
Very much a comfy place in my house rotter. It often changes as my accommodations often change, but otherwise, I get it.
I'm the worst for this. It's also my naturally low BP - I thinky body just likes lying down more than any other position. I don't nap, just function whilst horizontal 😂
I’ve learned if when I get home I take off my shoes there is already a 50% chance I will get comfortable and bed/couch rot and never get back up. If I lay in bed or on the couch that jumps to a 90% probability lol. So I try to just never let myself do either of those two things until I want to sleep or whatever. I’ve also learned I need to keep my days “time-stressed” such that I have stuff/activities scheduled preferably ones where I’m being held accountable (by friends, colleagues, a yoga class I really like going to) back to back nonstop so I literally don’t even have the opportunity to sit down and rot until it’s bedtime
Oh my god, you're a genius. I can't stand outside shoes in the house, but I can 100% buy a pair of sneakers just for the house. No-shoes on bed or couch is highly ingrained, and Imma be too lazy to untie sneakers to lie on the bed.
I totally do the shoes thing as well. Something in my brain associates “Putting on shoes = day is starting, Taking off shoes = day is over.” Keeping them on until my tasks are actually complete has been extremely helpful.
I use this technique too, and "put on real clothes". It really helps.
next time it’s bad try this exercise where you slowly increase the activity. just say all i have to do is lift my finger up (and mean it, give yourself true permission to go back to scrolling if that is what you really want to do). (extra points if you say i made a effort and i did a good job to yourself) “all i have to do is look at the wall behind my phone” (and mean it). “all i have to do is sit up a little bit” (and mean it) “all i have to do is put one foot on the floor” “all i have to do is go look out the window for 30 seconds” etc but if getting up is truly too much do NOT beat yourself up for only getting to the lift your finger up stage because even doing that is really hard and you should be proud of yourself.
audhd here. yes. I don’t know how to stop, but I’m trying. will update if I figure out any tips to share. my mom constantly tells me I shouldn’t be so sedentary but I don’t know how else to exist. it’s not like I *want* to be like this. I don’t have a lot of energy, sensory wise I’m at my limit pretty regularly. I think it started as a habit in high school, going to school for 8 hours and back to bed rot for the rest of the night. it’s the only way I truly feel like I’m ‘recharging’.
Omg o thought i was just lazy
No such thing as lazy, really. There is always a cause, it’s not something any of us chooses.
Ritalin helped me with this. Not really getting anything done yet, want to try a higher dose.
My psychiatrist said Ritalin is what we can try next if I don't see any more improvement with my most recent dose increase of the adderall
Ritalin/Concerta is my most recent med, after trying every single anti depressant available. And the only med that has actually helped. Since your Adderall does help, just not enough, my uneducated guess is your Dr is headed in the right direction. A lot of this stuff, is Trial and Error, and educated guessing. Just a FYI: Ritalin is Instant Release and you need another dose in 3 hrs IIRC. Concerta is supposed to be the same chemical, but Extended Release, so you only need one dose per day. I started on Ritalin, 5mg(?) 3 times a day. Remembering when to take my next dose, was a hassle. Now on 36mg of Concerta, hoping to go higher. I wish the best for you and your baby.
Thank you very much! I can't even remember if I took my adderall today the past couple weeks I've been bad with forgetting to take it. I definitely need the XR since I can't even remember once a day lol
Bed is the only comfy place for me that reduces my fidgeting
God, it's like I wrote this myself. And the worst part is that I don't have an autoimmune disease like some commenters suggested. I don't have any advice, but I understand the struggle OP. Stay strong.
Love to you ❤️
I feel ya! I also spend my free time in my bed. I’ve found though that once I can push myself to start moving and not sit…it gets the ball rolling. It’s definitely not easy to do but I always feel accomplished when I do.
Currently bedrotting, all the comfort I can give you is at least it doesn’t rob you of your productivity. I work from home so I spend weeks at a time doing relatively nothing, no hobbies, no workouts, no social contact, only bed on phone. It’ll have to be the active fight against the forbidden transition stage from bed to office or living room.
Often. I struggle forming romantic relationships due to an absolute terror of rejection. RSD is a nightmare. I know im quite attractive, fit and healthy, can hold down a full time job for decades, very charming and funny, kindhearted. But my self esteem and self worth fights tooth and nail against these objective facts. If I find someone attractive, it’s the absolute worst feeling ever, I start to spiral, with fear that if I ask them out I will be seen as a disgusting loser, completely without any merit. It’s hell.
All I know is that there are things that have to be done whether I want to or not. I am a SAHM to 3 kids so I have no choice but to do tasks. When my husband is home for his off days, I am bad about isolating in our room and laying in bed every time I get a chance. I would never leave my room/bed if I could have things my way. Sometimes I will pitch a mini tantrum quietly to myself before I roll out of bed to do my morning chores. My little moment of defiance before I give in and comply.
Guilty. I guess I thought it was just me. There is security in the confine of these walls.
In the past year I have become a bed rotter. I will cancel appointments and everything just to stay in bed and rot. It’s become a really bad habit.
Walk. Just a little. Around the block. Find music or a podcast or an audiobook that will hold your attention. Your brain wants to make you safe, and that’s something we should appreciate, but sometimes the brain has some maladaptive ways to make you safe. You can retrain that impulse, though. You really can, your brain is incredible. It’s hard at first, but you just meet it with curiosity. What if I just did this one little thing? What if I just put on my shoes? What if I just put the baby in the stroller? The trance you can get into is real, 1000%, and that protective part of your brain tries to tell you “if you do this you’ll be miserable” or you get that “all or nothing” compulsion. But you won’t be miserable and you can start anywhere without putting expectations on yourself. You DO have the power to shake yourself out of this. Start small and build on your momentum. Experiment. Be gentle with yourself. You absolutely can do this, and once you get moving most days you’ll feel great. You’re not alone, you’re most definitely not worthless, and it can get better, I promise.
Bed rotting at this exact moment. My wife also calls it 'nesting' when I'm wide awake and just need to stay in the Comfy Place for a few days. Brains are weird
"Nesting" is such a nice way to think of it! 🥲 I too am bed rotting as we speak... Need to get up and do my meds/start my day 😵💫
I'm cheering for ya from here! I believe in you!! Good luck!
Thanks! 🥰 This was just enough motivation to get up and do meds and even shower! 😄
Proud of you, stranger!!
I'm so disappointed in myself, and relieved to happen across this reddit site. I've been in bed for two days with these racing thoughts. Nothing harmful, but I know id feel better if I just got out.
I was the same way until I finally got medication. I was always just soooo lethargic and unmotivated. I KNEW things needed to get done, and I was so overwhelmed thinking of how to even begin. I finally feel like a functioning adult. But yes. My whole life revolved around naps. Free time? Nap. Stressed out? Nap. Bored? Nap. Now I finally feel like I can complete tasks
I’ve been doing it for about ten years as well. It’s difficult to stop, and it makes it hard for me to follow through with responsibilities. Turned into couch rotting when I got my own place. Wish I could stop, but at least there’s solace in knowing that others are like me.
I do this in the morning despite refusing to go to bed at night. Why can't I just get up.
I have my watch set to remind me to stand up at least once an hour, which can help. Playing the album “Tyrannosaurus Hives” at a reasonably loud volume reliably makes me so SOMETHING vertical. It somehow makes even washing dishes seem fun. I imagine most struggle to stay in bed when your most favorite dance music comes on. Whoever song means you jump up and leave your drink behind as you head for the dance floor, listen to that.
I live in my bed. It's my favorite place to be. My laptop lives in my bed. I eat all my meals in bed. Basically everything that I CAN do in bed, I do. Since starting ADHD medication, it's drastically helped the urge to get up and DO THINGS. I can get up and do laundry, and various things and have actually spent more time on the couch and not just bed! I still spend a lot of time in bed though. Fortunately I don't really have responsibilities outside of work, so it's ok. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but you definitely not alone.
I figured out that masking was causing me severe anxiety and draining my social battery for the day. Basically, I was tired all the time because I was trying to hide my ADHD and mirror what behaviors I was seeing out in the world in order to fit in. Find out what's really draining you and see if you can't do something to address it. Stimulants helped me a bit but maybe look in to being comfortable in your own skin as a solution. I was constantly anxious/self-conscious/hypervigilant all the time and it wore me out constantly even though I wasn't really doing much physically.
Your brain associates certain spaces with certain activities. When I learned this, I limited all activity in my bed to sleep and sex. Now when I lay down at night I fall asleep much more easily.. or get uncomfortably horny. No middle ground.
Easier said than done
Do you have a separate space that you can call your own? Maybe a desk or something with a comfy office chair. I find myself defaulting to bed if I don't have a different space.
I did as a kid, and then I grew up and bed rot turned into couch rot 😂 which is what I’m doing right now even though I swore to myself I’d finally put my laundry away and do my dishes 🤷🏻♀️probably not happening tonight
I've had adhd for years but it's just started last year. I just got back from vacation a few months ago and realized I haven't left bed much. Even working at my desk seems impossible most days. It's so bad.
You’re not alone, and you are absolutely not worthless. It sounds like bed is your safe zone. How much have you spoken to your doctor, and do you maybe have any food intolerances? I recently found I had a food intolerance, and once I started cutting it out I did not need to or feel the desire to just stay in bed or rot on the couch.
I have task avoidance problems too and I have done this all my life.
Whoa. I didn’t know there was a name for this… let alone it being an adhd thing. Makes perfect sense, I’ve “bed rot” my whole life lol
Often when I do this, it’s caused by being tired. I’m tired and can only lay there, and I feel like shit because I can’t bring myself to do anything, and it breeds the worst of thoughts and ideations. Is what you’re doing day to day draining you too much? Is there stuff you can do to save energy though the day? You could also experiment with the other rooms, can you make any bed-like cozy spots that let you be in other parts of the room?
Yeah. Every day. Getting a job has added a lot to my life but when i get home i don’t do the mess of dishes in my sick or clean the garbage off my floor
I push really really hard to snap out of it with my daughter with mixed results. I say focus mostly on the musts, food, hygiene, homework all the main requirements and give your self some grace every now and then if you let them watch your TV while you zone out. Go to the mall or park or something kind of easy with them to force yourself out maybe. I think it helped that I actually had to fight real hard for custody and like prove myself as a father, but I still feel like I let her down all the time. And of course getting myself to do stuff for me is much harder haha. I'm drained a lot of the time setting up some schedule stuff for my daughter when I'm not used to it myself
When I’m unmedicated I sleep a ton. I could nap any time of day if I was in my bed. I saw a really helpful video on tiktok that finally made me feel like a little less of a piece of shit so hopefully it helps you! [Intrusive Sleep](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNR1TggB/)
1) ask your doctor about other meds. i take vyvanse (love it) and i have a small 5mg adderall as needed in the afternoon. there’s lots of options. you may also need an antidepressant or something. who knows. 2) keep your shoes on! for some reason it helps keep your brain in work mode 3) good luck 💕
Same here. Always had issues with fatigue which makes it worse. I got diagnosed with sleep apnea so I've been on that train with the hopes of finding a cure. It hasn't made a noticeable yet
Feeling right now, but 30 so went for pints instead.... Hasn't changed anything.
I was bed rotting last week. I’ve found that the best way to get out of that is to play super upbeat music as loudly as possible, whether that be with a speaker or headphones. (My go-to is to shuffle 1989 (Taylor’s Version) and start with Shake it Off (TV))
I do this. It’s really hard to stop. And the best way to get a handle on it is to have nothing in the bedroom besides the bed. Use the room and bed for sleep only. But I def do this and actively feel the need to hide that I do it too. And Adderall doesn’t work for task avoidance AT ALL. I wish i was motivated to get up and do stuff from it.
I’m 46 and exactly the same and always have been. It’s my safety nest 🥰.
Used to bed rot a lot. Started working outdoor retail to force and incentivize being social and eventually picked up hobbies that take up all that time I would have on the bed. My most successful one has been Cycling because you can ride low effort at long distance and lose some weight, increase cardiovascular health, and pump endorphins and feel good.
There’s not many things I love more than maladaptive daydreaming while rotting in bed.
I spend heaps of time glued to my sofa and I'm trying to overcome it too. I found out that if I'm warm and the house isn't cold either, it's less likely that I'll feel the urge to crawl into my nest and stay there forever. Sometimes when I want to lie down but don't want to spend hours doing it, I might actually lie down in bed (because for some reason I don't actually feel like spending ages there). Maybe you could try to do it in reverse and lie down on the sofa instead.
I have left my job 2 months ago and all I have done is lay in bed all day and have barely apply for jobs, I also don’t know what to do with myself just rotting away everyday
I definitely bed rot for a few days on end, and then I find that after that phase as has passed, I’m a bit more driven and motivated to get things done! Much needed rest for me I think, and it’s easy to fall into feeling useless, you just have to remember that your body knows best, even when you think you know better. Remind yourself that’s it’s temporary and will eventually fade. The loneliness will creep in, and feelings of worth will fade in and out, but you have to remember it’s temporary. You feel lonely because most of the time, you ARE alone, you may feel worthless because the things you did that make you feel like you have worth, you’re not currently doing them. Your worth is not determined by your productivity, but by the very essence of your BEING, and EXISTENCE. Hang in there bud…it’s all good…and you’ll be okay. (:
Separate your sleeping place from your activity place. That's really essential for breaking out of this behavior. Try to build a space where you get the same wholesome feeling that your bed gives to you and move your hobbies and "sit down and regenerate" moments to that spot.
Ive been calling or referring to it as vegetable days, I plant myself in bed, cover Myself with a duvet, and pretend to be a vegetable, just sleep or try to sleep.
Bed rotting is my favourite thing to do but it’s almost impossible when you have kids.
Thanks for the reminder. I know I can’t do it. I get too overwhelmed, too much anxiety, and love to be alone. I don’t like being responsible for my stuff much less the meals, clothes, emotions, and existence of whole separate human beings.
Just got home, checked on my plants, now currently on my bed. It's my... place.
I recommend not doing your activities on the bed. It may be turning into a habit. Also do you see a therapist? You may have depression. I know I feel like this but it's usually during depressive episodes.
I also may be sick with covid after my mom tested positive for it last night ..she started feeling sick last Saturday but I stayed at least 6 feet away from her at home so.. hoping its mild..
your brother has arrived🙂
I stopped "bed-rotting" when I got a put-away bed. Saves space and prevents bedrot. I never felt the need to bedrot, since it involves removing clothes far too early in the day, sweat, physical fatigue etc... I hate the idea of it to be honest
Yes. Start with small goals like spending an hour outside away from your bed (outside is good) and build from there. I think it’s partly because it’s become habit but also because being in bed is safe and comfortable. ADHD can be so much more complicated than people realize, especially for women because you have to factor in the hormonal changes. Just make a small goal, do your best to keep it and when you’ve achieved it you can add more and slowly build your way back to “normal”.
Have you considered maybe audhd? A lot of people with adhd also have autism and low energy/burning out easily is an autism thing!
There are a few great tips to help with bed rot. 1) Get out of bed on your first alarm 2) Immediately open your blinds, let in the light 3) Open the window and leave it open so the room is inhospitable/cold 4) Make your bed, so you are less likely to get back in (signals your brain) 4.5) leave your bedroom and close the door behind you 5) remove all objects that aren’t for sleeping or sex 6) relocate your possessions to their more appropriate space 7) have a time cut off (not allowed in the bedroom until 8pm for example) 8) Schedule an after work/childcare activity that you can use to leave the house while partner is with baby. Something soothing like relaxation yoga, painting etc. I think bed rot is about a feeling of safety and calm. Actively foster this feeling in other areas of your home. Add candles to the living room, placemats you love for the dinning room, a small speaker in the bathroom for music during baths etc. I know that’s overwhelming. If you have to start somewhere start with opening the blinds and windows and leaving the room.
I want to bed rot so bad!!!! I can’t though, my busy life doesn’t allow it
If you think about it, it's kinda weird that people give people who "bed rot" so much more crap than they would give me for "desk rotting".
My bed has permanent divots from where I sit on either side (I’ve got a queen size but don’t sleep in the center, always one side or the other)
Omg yes
Vyvanse helps me a little bit. I take XR. And then an Adderall booster for mood.
Right now I’m a bed Rotter because I’ve been dealing with ongoing back pain and laying in bed is the only thing that doesn’t make my back hurt.
Love rotting in bed. But if I do my day is over. Occupy my time in what ways I can. Usually most of my non work time is cooking/cleaning/housework/ hanging with wife or friends/ video games. Bed rot Saturday is my guilty pleasure tho, doesn’t happen often
Meeee
This is RUINING my life. I've lost all the control.
There is a really good c ncept of creating spaces also referred to as sacred spaces. It is really good for creating spaces for certain things. You should create spaces for different things even if it's in one room. Your bed for sleep or reflection. Your floor for stretching. The corner for reading and art. Not saying those spots for those things specifically but you have to break up your space to specific activities. If you don't you wash over activities you would like to do with activities that are typical to do.
Consider that you’re dealing with postpartum. I wonder if validating it as that could give you some sense of control versus generalizing your condition as something long-standing. What a big task being a mom! Hope you can start feeling better.
FRIGGIN MOOD
I’m in nursing school and when I get free time I lay in my bed and doom scroll for a bit 😭
I tried stasis and it kinda helped. I still bed rot bc it’s comfy, yikes. When I signed up for workout classes that forced me out of the house so I felt like it was a gradual peeling away from my bed and I tried to pick the fun classes vs the intense ones. Being out in the sun for 15 mins also helps my adhd, it’s a nice break during the workday too. I think that’s normal for nursing school btw, my old roomie was in school and had to rot and watch SpongeBob after class, but she’d nap and then get ready to socialize. She prioritized blocks of having fun vs recharging as a routine.
Same. And it’s not like I’m miserable, if I wanted to go out I would but I’m content laying in bed. It’s my comfort zone but I thought it was bc I’m lazy
What do others do for this? The only solution I’ve found that gets me out of bed is stimulants. My friend who also has ADHD recommended Wellbutrin.
Maybe change the name from 'bed rot' to recharging station/place or something... a change in mindset will help self esteem. It sounds like you need to rest a lot in order to function and that's okay. (Me too!) Therapy can be super helpful to learn tools and skills to manage ADHD, a therapist can help to embed new routines and habits into your life, too! Definitely worth a shout. Good luck :)
I did this for too many years. Started to actually get out of bed more when I decided to quit my job, surprisingly. I felt guilty laying around in bed and being unemployed, so I pretty much just moved to my living room & tried not to “couch rot!” Then, I recently got on medication and although it does require a lot of effort to get up still, I tell myself I’m wasting my meds by just chillin (sitting or laying around) so I make myself get up. I tend to just feel worse if I allow myself to lay around all day, I feel guilty about it. So, I don’t really have advice or answers. I have to force myself to get up. Often I use a reward system “we can go get a fun (non alcoholic) beverage at the co-op if you do x,y,z!”
yes, 38 still going strong.
Ditto
Cover your bed up. Like really cover it. Not with things you’ll push around and make room with. Things that will feel too annoying to move. So you’ll have to become couch rot. I think it may be the next step. I can’t be sure though. I’ll let you know when this couch rot stage ends. Been here 6 or 7 years.
this is me!! i dont really have the motivation to even go downstairs sometimes so i just read my books or just make up scenarios in my head...
My way of avoiding bed rot/getting up to do something was putting jeans in cause I hate sitting in bed in my jeans. Or a bra that works too.
I was like this too, ever since I was a teenager. Adderall didn’t really help with it but Vyvanse really gets me up off my butt, I wouldn’t be able to lie around all day now even if I tried.
Also, I’m 39 now and have bad posture/pelvic tilt from being so sedentary all my life. I’m slowly improving it but it’s hard. You may be able to prevent this as you’re only 26. Maybe that could be motivation for you to get up and walk around a bit more.
I also have struggled with “Bed-Rot” and a few years ago it was absolutely ruining my life. In fact it was so bad that it was what made me go to the doctors to seek help, lo and behold turned out I had ADHD Type inattentive. Got prescribed medication and it changed my life, but was still occasionally struggling with “bed-rot”. Something that has massively helped me was after having a blood test (for an entirely separate reason) was that I got diagnosed with B12 deficiency. Now I’m having B12 shots every 3 months and it’s massively made a difference on top of the medication. Put simply: that even on medication, I’ve noticed that if I’m at the tail end of my 3 months I struggle. Conversely, if I have had my B12 recently but forgotten to take my medication I also struggle. *When I’m on both*, I’m fantastic and wake up early and have actually restful sleep. (Not bed-rot lethargic sleep but actual genuine REM cycle sleep). As far as I understand, *(and please bare in mind I say this with absolutely no medical authority or expertise and am merely repeating how doctor had explained to me)* -it’s something to do with how B12 handles metabolism, and if you’re deficient in B12 you may struggle with not only metabolising your medication but everything else that regulates your body which massively effects your ability to function. Now, that is *not* to say if you are struggling with “bed-rot” that you are B12 deficient. But what I’m trying to articulate is that if you are on medication and still struggle with Bed-Rot from time to time, it is worth looking going to a doctor to check for any additional causes for lethargy. Often the problems you face are not merely one but two that compounding the same symptoms. You might find that the medication you have is actually helping more than you realise but you’re not able to actualise on that because you are also dealing with another issue.
Have furniture be “the spot” for different activities. Your bed should only be for sleeping and banging. Reading goes in a chair, drawing at a table, and playing with the baby in a specific room. It’ll be much easier to go to sleep without being distracted because it’s all you’ll do there.
I get up and lay down again when I feel tired… I just accepted that it might be a little more often than other people. I still get things done, but I take a lot of breaks… adhd can drain you a lot even if you don’t think you are not doing a lot. I have more energy than before, but I still need rest… I just try to give myself a bit more compassion. You can also watch YouTube/netflix/tiktok/reddit/mobile games while doing the dishes and stuff… so I try to do that and when I really get tired I sit or lay down a bit and then get up again (maybe also set timers and don’t feel like you can not extend them for a bit if you really need more time…) Accepting my need for more rest, has made my mental Health better… also thinking about how much mental work we do makes you feel not as worthless Planning your day is already work… planning what you eat or what you need to grocery shop or making a to do list.
I’ve come to terms with my bed rotting. It’s not going anywhere since that’s my coping mechanism for the rest of the world 😭 it’s the only place I feel relaxed
Alarm clock goes across the room, and I only go back to bed for sleep that night. Can't do a lot about sitting in my comfy desk chair or couch too much, but being stuck in bed is the worst.
Go to doctor
I’m couch rotting right now.
41 and I still do it…. My partner has different issues (depression, ocd, agoraphobia, possibly undiagnosed autism) so I feel like such a s—t when I do, but sometimes I have no energy for life. He understands me better than anyone tho, so I’m lucky to have him.
I live in bed, my therapist suggested it's because bed is a low stimulus environment?
A while back I saw a video describing how to live isolated in space and keep sane/organized. He basically divided the pod into very specific sections/rooms and gave them purpose. If you were in that room for more than an hour (like laying in bed) but not doing the thing it was designed/intended for (sleeping) then leave. Go to another area, do something else. It really helps honestly. Try adding an incentive to leaving to go do something else as well, even if it’s getting to eat some m&ms or something.
I always hated getting up. Like dreaming feels so pleasant compared to reality in 90% of cases. Especially if you're woken up forcefully. But only just now I'm at a point where I consciously procrastinate going to bed and try to sleep as long as possible because there is nothing for me to wale up for, I hate everything in my life and have lost all hope to improve it, so I just sleep. Also at 26
Yeah I bed rot the entire weekend last weekend. I feel guilty about it but I just accept that it's part of my mental illness (bipolar) and I shouldnt beat myself up over it.
LITERALLY same. I've taken 60 mg of Vyvanse for more than 10 years and yet it only helps with the *ability* to focus and regulate mood. I still have to put in effort to focus and regulate mood. Plus all I want to do is lay in bed and play video games anyways T_T
Fellow rotter. No advice, but sending love and solidarity. ❤️
I had that. My bed is only for sleeping now. No tv. No phone. No reading. No snacking. Nothing. If I want to nap, beds fine.
Nah I’m an adult and have my own place. I just lay on the couch.
Thays why i got a boy cat. Forever rotting with me whether its the bed or couch rot haha
I'm really sorry you're dealing this this. There's no silver bullet, and dealing with this will be a long term process. However, a good short term starting point is a change of enviroment. How about going for a walk? Throw on some music or an audio book if you like, and just walk through any nice ish area near you (especially somewhere with trees). This is an opportunity to break the cycle and give you a chance to think new thoughts. Good luck. You CAN get through this and improve long term.
ive been bedrotting since i was like 9 i did not want to get up to eat or do anything so i would j keep food around me 😭
I definitely bed rot. I spend all my time that I got free in bed. I just love my bed. I also eat in bed, too. The only times I'm not in bed are bathroom, kitchen, or I'm playing video games downstairs for a little. I'm on Vyvanse but I have been rotting for yrs.
Absolutely. I'm disabled on top of this, so combined, I'm literally in my bed constantly. I am slowly losing my mind. But if I leave my bed and go do stuff, I'm in severe pain. And my doctors won't prescribe anything that helps. So my body is falling apart and I have been at my mental breaking point these past few weeks from how severe the pain has been getting. I want more than anything to be able to go to the store even with my family. They don't even bother taking me places because it'll flare me horribly. So here I am, 21 and glued to my bed.
Bro I’m the same way. And everyone always thought something was wrong with me. I just love my bed lol
It took me a long, long time to break free from the "lay down and rot" mentality and it's still a work in progress: But with time, therapy, and lots of hard work on my self I have started moving past it and feeling better about myself and the life I live. There is no magic bullet or cure, although things like anti-depressants or ADHD medication can help. It takes prolonged, concentrated effort and continual work to overcome through which you are going to have many ups and downs and will have to repeatedly push yourself past that feeling of hopelessness and despair. It's like hitting the gym, it doesn't happen instantly and it is really hard at first, but if you don't put in the time consistently it'll never get better. If you haven't already started, find a therapist that *actually works for you* (not just the first one you find), talk to your doctor about trying certain medications that may help, and create long term achievable, measurable goals to keep you focused on gradual self improvement. Find and make friends who offer a strong support network and motivate you to get out of bed, make plans and follow through on them. Over time, it will slowly get easier. It'll never be effortless, but it will get easier and you'll slowly start feeling better about yourself and more capable in life. I know that this feels like worthless advice, like I'm just saying "get over it" but that's not it at all. I know this isn't something you can just will yourself through. My point is that it's hard, it's *really* **fucking** hard. But you have to try, and you have to keep trying, and most importantly you have to find resources that help you manage the symptoms while you try. You'll have backslides and fuck ups, it's only human. Don't feel bad about it when you can't sometimes and don't blame yourself for falling short of your goals. It's not your fault, you suffer from a real condition and your experiences matter. That stuff is real and deserves to be recognized. You need to also be patient with yourself and accept your limitations. You need to accept that progress is slow, and that doesn't mean you are failing or not making progress. You need to accept that sometimes it gets worse before to gets better. Accepting yourself were you are at is just as important as working on bettering yourself, because shame is the single greatest enemy to healing. You can't get better if you never forgive yourself or be patient with yourself for struggling in the first place.
I didn’t know “bed rot” was a term. Yes. This is me. I actually have an internal fight with myself asking “why can’t you get up?” There’s an activation switch that is missing in my head. But I am also tired. I can sleep any time anywhere. I think maybe I’m made to be a cat. Snooze all the time. They don’t worry about sleeping too much. They go with it. 
Oh, shit, I do this. A lot :(
Do you think anyone wants to do adult shit? Just man (or woman) up and do it.
This is me. Getting out of bed is *so hard*. Working from bed seems more efficient.
Yes I'm working from home now for the foreseeable future and I'm bedrotting in between responding to patient refill requests or passing messages
Me me me me me! I have a bad back too so I lay on my heating pad and lay in bed whenever I get a chance. Rarely do I nap. I’ll watch tv but usually just kind of tune out on my phone. And I’m 33. I didn’t start doing this until I was a college age/ adult cause my parents would have never let me do it. Once I discovered it… game over. But yeah what other people have said. It’s a safe space from distractions and pressure and socializing.
Yeah as I've aged I've found myself being generally far more tired for no reason. Some days it takes me hours and hours to get up after waking. Seems to get worse with anxiety and stress in life too. No idea how to fix it.
Check your nutrition with a specialist, ASAP. I'm also a parent, and I know too well that your kid's needs can't be procrastinated. This level of low energy is definitely not normal, and your kids need you to be present physically and emotionally.
Story of my life. I haven’t left my bed for like 3 years lmao except to go to work and the grocery store. It’s my comfort zone. It’s my happy place. But it also isolates me and pushes me further into depression I think. And it keeps me from going outside. It’s my favourite place but it’s also my downfall
When you're stuck in bed rot, it's time to use the skill "opposite action." What SHOULD you be doing instead of lying in bed? Shower? Eat? Sit in another room? Play a game? Is it task avoidance? No one likes opposite action until they start. Then it's not so bad. Saying this for myself, too.
Me. I’m always exhausted mentally and physically.
I didn’t realize bed rot was also applicable to ADHD. Now to figure out if I do it because of that or because of depression. The odds are against me lol
i have days where i take 4 naps bc of bed rotting and dreading life. i’m sorry you’re experiencing this :(
A La-Z Boy recliner with the air conditioning running at 23 deg C.
I did this for the longest time and it made it really hard for me to fall asleep at night, because I was doing pretty much everything in the place where I should be able to relax and wind down in. If you like to draw in bed, you could move the things you usually use for this, like your sketchbook and pencils, to the living room or another place you could make into a comfortable drawing space. I sometimes notice that I’m slowly start to move activities back to my bed again, but once I move the things I use for them to the living room or kitchen, it only takes me like 3 times of using them there to get used to it. Sorry, I feel like this is such a vague message, but I haven’t taken my medication today (which unfortunately proofs I def still need it). Anyways, I hope this helps.
i built a full 5.1.2 dolby atmos home theater around my bed. got a queen size day bed frame with a giant memory foam body pillow thing for a backrest and my partner and i live in this bed like every night. it’s crazy.
ya me rn and for the past year
I also do this but I also have cfs so I don’t know if that’s related
I usually only experience bed rot when I go through some sort of "traumatic experience" of some kind. When I do though its easily a month or so at a time i go through it. Though it doesn't usually just revolve around my bed, I'll "Bed rot" on the sofa, my gaming chair, even sometimes outside on a lawn chair. I don't take any form of medications though, maybe that is something that actually is limiting how the bed rot sets in?
Definitely been there. My doc got me to do a half dose of adderall twice a week and it helped — think I had developed a tolerance. Got so it felt like it didn’t do anything at all. But the half doses really helped. And exercise helps a huge amt (I’m not so good at that right now). Sending hugs
Yes
I actually hate laying in my bed once I'm up and moving around, but I fall victim to sitting at my desk and not moving for long periods of time....
Yes me like bed rot
Yes I do it all the time. I’m basically home schooled so I have nothing better to do than just lay down all the time
I used to but it severely affected my sleep so I stopped, it's really hard at first but just start out by making yourself do things that you enjoy doing in other locations. You'll eventually get used to it and then prefer to be else where when you are doing those things. It's also really important to designate a place for doing certain actions. Just think of it like you must take a shower in your bathroom. You wouldn't want to whip out the extendable kitchen sink and shower in the kitchen. Every action should have it's own place and it sounds like for you everything happens in bed so just slowly start changing your place for doing those things.
Some periods when i m stressed or its just my downs period i do it on the couch.
I've been bed rotting since last December. So basically my semester got over and my next semester I was supposed to look for an internship. There was a lot of sht going on at home and I was honestly just tired of everything so I just..gave up. Meanwhile, everybody in my class got an internship and even finished it 💀 I was there for the final presentation and I hadn't even found an internship and my college semester was over. I had a lot of plans and everything fell through and I felt so lost so I just..sat around existing. I mean I finally found an internship but I'm way behind and it's pretty frustrating. Funny thing is, I used to be the complete opposite, I would never go near my bed even when I was tired, I'd be exhausted but I wouldn't let myself rest (that's pretty unhealthy but Idk why I used to do tht). But yeah, I still feel stuck, but in between it had gotten pretty bad, I even stopped eating. I would eat a lot and try and gain weight when I was out and then for weeks i would bed rott and lose it all over again. I was literally preparing my body to bed rott cause I knew in a few days i wouldn't have the energy :')
Feel like this as well. I feel worthless and lonely, living alone, doing everything alone. It's like I'm already dead.