NTA. I think OP should be 'grateful' to the father, because he helped show her what her boyfriend was really like. She's lucky that she knows before there are kids involved.
I would say both.
The father's comments were the gasoline and the BFs reaction was the lighter.
She is better off without creepy young Herbert.
In case you don't know
https://youtu.be/y41vObbUf9k?si=ZoCPiUY6brV7PXfC
SORRY, I agree with GF. I don't know what this father does for a living he seems to be awfully familiar and intimate w/o being the boyfriend/husband to this young woman. I am speaking, having been the young woman who dismissed these uncomfortable issues. Hindsight would later make me wish I had not allowed such familiarity from someone.
nta he can’t control his fathers actions but for some reason he thinks what his dad is doing is okay after you stated it makes you uncomfortable they’re both weirdos
More times than I care to admit I have thought this exact thing! It's sickening to realize just how much "entertainment" is factual...on a positive note I have found comfort knowing that I'm not alone in the things I've been through though so there's always that!
And now he doesn't have a girlfriend you are not that a****** your ex boyfriend and his father were. If somebody makes you uncomfortable about what they're saying or doing you get the f*** away from them you would never be the a******
Yeah, can you imagine if OP stayed and they had kids. She’d get to hear her husband talk to/about their son’s gf’s in an inappropriate manner. What if they had daughters? 🤢
NTA. If your partner doesn’t understand that the comments are not ok and a clear boundary for you then he’s not the one. Best to move on now.
Yes! OP I was in a similar situation. First time I met my ex’s Father was at my Ex’s GrandFather’s (Paternal side) funeral. After my Ex introduced me to his Dad, I told his Dad “I’m so sorry for the loss of your Father, and although it’s very nice to meet you, I’m sorry it was under these circumstances.” He didn’t say a word to me. He shook my ex’s hand, while staring me up and down, and said “Nice catch son, I’m VERY proud of you.” Long story short, Ex and his Father were perverted, misogynistic and womanizer’s. I am so glad I got away from that. Trust me, you dodged a bullet!
Yeah, as I started reading I could almost see it from the boyfriend's point of view. Plenty of people wouldn't want to be responsible for everything their parents say- it's always awkward when your peers meet them. But once the bf started laughing along, and was later dismissive in private, I was entirely with OP.
A friend of mine still talks about what a dirt-bag his grandpa was, how his friends from school always complained about that one dirty old man who tried to hit on all the young girls and how mortifying it was to tell them it was his grandpa. My friend is nothing like that, he is just the sweetest man.
Read somewhere that if a guy is in love he won't allow men around him to talk disrespectfully to or about you.
If he is with you for sex he is just fine discussing your body and sex life with other guys
Any guy want to confirm or deny?
>Read somewhere that if a guy is in love he won't allow men around him to talk disrespectfully to or about you.
>If he is with you for sex he is just fine discussing your body and sex life with other guys
>Any guy want to confirm or deny?
No, you don't disrespect people whether they are lovers, friends, brothers or sisters.
And to be more concrete, any decent guy will defend a female friend, coworker, sibling from being talked about like they were an antique or painting in a gallery. Love is not necessary, the disrespect is sufficient.
> And to be more concrete, any decent ~~guy~~ **human being** will defend a female friend, coworker, sibling from being talked about like they were an antique or painting in a gallery.
Made a tiny change but I couldn't agree more. Also, to be fair, I talk about antiques and paintings with more dignity and respect than this guy's dad did to her. Sounds like his family (or at the very least, his dad) lacks some serious self-awareness and boundaries as a result. Good for OP for communicating the boundary and taking action when it wasn't respected. She's lightyears ahead of where I was at that age, good things will come as a result.
Yeah, both weirdos. Both of them were being very sexist and inappropriate about personal issues that you told them you were uncomfortable with. Black and white very plain. I am glad that you left.
NTA. You can break up with anyone for any reason, so you would be NTA anyways, but there are several really good reasons here:
Ex’s Dad is just being completely inappropriate, and ex went from failing to stand up for you to actually joining in with his dad.
You’re young, and the dating world is a mess, but there are better options out there.
I’m sorry this happened though, and I hope you take good care of yourself right now. Getting out of a relationship can be hard. If you haven’t lately, drink a glass of water and eat a snack. Hang in there OP
Honestly, you should be proud of yourself for sticking up for yourself the way you did. That was not an easy thing to do, and many young people deal with all sorts of stuff for various reasons. Good for you.
As negative as this situation was, and I'm sorry that you dealt with the dad and bf in that way, because fuck them both, i still 'walk away' from this post with a positive feeling. From a random internet stranger, you did good.
Yes! This right here! She stood up for herself and stood her ground. It really sucks that she went through this but the decision she made with handling the situation speaks volumes about her.
You are definitely NTA, and I'm glad you got yourself out of there. I wish when I was your age, I had had the self awareness and self confidence to stand up for myself like you did in situations like that. Would have saved me a lot of suffering.
You had the strength to leave, you're doing great!
You didn't break up with him, you lost a major chunk of deadbeat garbage. I wish I could've had half the strength you did to stand up for myself years ago...
You're amazing!
NTA
An older guy that frequently shops at the store i used to work at used to always call me sweetie. At one point he was coming through the line behind me and he said "you have one hell of a body on you young lady"
Like your BF's dad because he was older, some people didn't take it seriously. I talked about it with my friend and she said it was sexual harassment and wasn't allowed by anyone regardless of age. If that one instance is considered SH, then what your bf's dad continuously said and did was absolutely SH as well.
"You have nice thighs" is not only harassment, it's inappropriate language to use on anyone other than your S/O.. like where the hell is your BF's mother in all this? Why didn't she say anything?? Did she just brush it off, cause gurl I would be LIVID if my husband talked to another woman (let alone one that's going enough to be his daughter) like that!
Good on you for telling your enabling BF off! If he asks, tell him you're tired of his dad sexually harassing you :)
Sadly, his mother passed away a few months before, otherwise, I know she would’ve said something. I remember that his father stayed silent when we went to see them and his mother was present.
I would unfortunately have thrown that in ex's face..
"Your mother would be f*cking ashamed of you. Is this how you treat your girlfriend, letting some creepy old man make disgusting comments about your girlfriend's body and think it's funny? News flash, buddy. It's not. It's disgusting. Good luck finding a girlfriend who won't resent you for this behavior in the future and wants to ever visit your creepy dad. Bye.."
Then, slam the door in his face on my way out.
You did the right thing.
Good for you OP standing up for yourself. Be proud. I am.
Ah, i didn't want to imply or ask specifics but it makes a lot of sense. The loss is terrible, and makes it all the worse that he's doing this now that she's gone. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that, i hope you can find someone that will respect boundaries and stand up for you!
Exactly. Regardless of who says it, and who they say it to. She let it be known the comments are unwelcome so continuing is sexual harassment. Which is against the law.
NTA
Absolutely not your fault, problem, or anything. You are 100% the victim here.
Inappropriate comments leaving you uncomfortable are not okay. Especially from a much older man when you're in his house. Such a dodgy power dynamic. So you're NTA for calling out the behaviour or stating you felt uncomfortable.
When you got home you brought it up to your partner that it upset you. NTA here either. You approached the person who's supposed to have your back to have your back. He didn't. NTA.
Then when you were belittled for your feelings and you left. NTA.
Look after yourself. You're so in the right here.
I'm 56 and I have a son. I know that comments like those are crossing all kinds of lines. Aside from me though, I 100% know for certain that my son, who is 18, would be angry at me for treating you like that.
The dad is a creep, but your ex is enabling him and you are better off out of it.
You are definitely NTA.
Honey you can break up with whoever you want for whatever reason you want, at any time, any day, no explanation necessary. With that being said, sounds like you have pretty good reason to just not want these people in your life, and that’s your choice.. and you’re ENTITLED to it. You don’t have to say sorry or justify it to anyone.
NTA - You clearly expressed that you felt uncomfortable because of the things his dad said. And he just talked you down and disrespected your feeling/boundaries.
Totally understandable that you don't want to be with him anymore. He should have protected you and talked to his dad about it. But he didn't.
I really hope you find someone who treats you better than that.
Nta I went through the exact same thing and ex told me I was crazy despite the evidence being there. The earlier you get out, the less trauma you'll have to heal (at least this is what I'm currently dealing with)
You should change the headline to more, "I broke up with my boyfriend cause his dad's a creep and he enabled his behaviour" NTA, I would never let my dad talk to my gf/wife like that
NTA. You’re right to leave. Your ex has been around that type of behavior and thinks it’s normal guy stuff. Good like finding a woman with half a brain to be ok with those kind of comments!
NTA
To be clear though, you didn't not break up with him because of what his father said; you broke up with him because of what happened after: his fucked up reaction and lack of support. The father's comments were more of a catalyst. Good for you you dodged a freaking bullet.
NTA, his father is basically harassing you, and your now ex-bf yucking it up with him--disgusting. I'm glad you bailed and just stayed your ground. If you take the bf back, his father will up the ante with you---he might talk about your breast next.
NTA.
> "The standard we walk past, is the standard we accept."
> --Lt. Gen. David Morrison, former Chief of Army, Australia
You're not breaking up with him because of what his dad said. You're breaking up with him because of how he reacted to the whole situation.
His father treating you as a sexual object is a standard he walks past, therefore it's a standard he accepts. And not only does he accept that standard, he defends his father's words and actions and invalidates your complaint about it and tries to turn HIM into the victim, turning your very reasonable complaint into an attack.
I'm sure he's a great guy in other ways. But I also doubt that this was the first time you've felt unsupported by him, otherwise you wouldn't have just up and left.
Don't accept disrespect from people. And don't keep people who disrespect you, or think you should allow yourself to be disrespected, in your life.
NTA your boyfriend is definitely discussing intimate details of your relationship with his dad who is now both literally and figuratively living vicariously through him, by sizing you up whilst imagining what he told him.
That’s why it’s getting increasingly sexual and weird - they probably both essentially think it’s hot to share a young woman between them, or son thinks he’s cool because dad wants to fuck his girlfriend.
NTA - if you were to have a long-erm relationship with your (ex?) boyfriend, the comments would continue. And you have been ridiculed for it, so it things continued escalating you may not be looked after when you feel bad. Further more, if you were to mary the (ex) B/F, you'd have this potentiall for the rest of (your ex's fathers) life.
What people dont realise when they enter into a long-term relationship is that you're not just with that person, you're with their family and friends too (just as they are with yours). If you're not comfortable with things (and this really is a big issue - I would have the same reaction as you if it were happening to me) then you are right to walk away and find something better...safer.
All the best and merry christmas.
I say this as the deeply ashamed son of a man who has been worse than gross to the partners brought home by my brothers. Your ex is deeply in the wrong and he should not be enabling that behavior. That is sexual harassment. Left unchecked it will only get worse. Well done for standing your ground and getting away from that. You deserve better, you know that and you made that for yourself even when your partner was rallying against you. Well done for being so brave - most of us struggle to.
ETA: NTA in any way
NTA
It sounds like you didn't break up with him over his dad's comments though. You broke up with him because of how he reacted to your feelings about his dad's comments. That is 100% fair.
This reminds me of the time i met my ex’s great uncle. We had been together 7 years, his great uncle was like 75. I said ‘hi, I’m So n So.’ He said ‘you jiggle in all the right places!’ They all thought it was soooo funny!
Can’t imagine why it didn’t work out.
You would be an arsehole of you broke him with him because of something his dad said.
However, your story suggests that you broke up with him because of his reaction to the distress caused by what his dad said.
NTA and your ex sounds like a bell end.
NTA, the very least your boyfriend could have done was acknowledged that YOU felt uncomfortable and therefore tell his father not to make any comments on your appearance again, with respect. The fact that the dad and BF laughed it off in your face is a major red flag.
NTA....because of how he handled it.
It's not that his dad made the comments. It's that he's OK with it, and likely will be similar in behavior as his dad.
If it’s sexual… definitely NTA… which it sounds like it is. For those saying that there is no reason to ever comment on someone’s body, I’ll share a story about my then GF, now wife… so my maternal Grandparents met my GF when we had been dating for a couple of years and were getting serious. My maternal grandparents were raised in the depression as immigrant children from Poland… they met my GF and immediately (and awkwardly) proceeded to say that my wife was of “good, sturdy stock” and also separately that she had good child bearing hips… seems like a nightmare, right?….
From their perspective they were raised with a very real concern that they had seen issues with health complications with births from narrow hipped women… now, granted, I understand that we live in an era where medically we’re prepared to deal with these issues because they can and do arise. It probably shouldn’t have been something they should have commented on. However, culturally, it was meant as a blessing and a compliment to my then GF.
Now bear in mind that my wife is indeed a sturdily built woman….not fat, just strong and thicker.. She was an athlete at the time and bullied for her thicker physical attributes. Comments about them were always derogatory. This begs the question of how my wife reacted, because I was horrified and on the cusp of making an issue out of it. My wife was over the moon in love with them and took it as a full throated endorsement of her. Why? She was raised by first generation Polish immigrants. She knew exactly what they meant by it and understood it for what it was and to hear someone praise her outside of her family for the first time probably ever for attributes that others had seen as a negative worked wonders for her self esteem with respect to my family.
While sexual in a reproductive sense, it wasn’t sexual in a lecherous kind of way. While, yes, it could have been taken negatively, I found out later that they made the decision to make that comment after discussing her family’s roots with my mom. Turns out it was a carefully considered decision that they made, that even I didn’t fully understand at the time.
Not saying this applies to OP in any way at all, just a fond memory of my wife and grandparents meeting that I thought people might find entertaining. To be clear, I was fully ready to stand up for my wife at that point, but to my absolute befuddlement went the complete opposite direction.
Yeah, you made the right choice. Your ex is clearly completely in his family's hip pocket and will never be supportive of you when it comes to a disagreement. Apparently it's perfectly fine for them to make comments about you like you're livestock.
Next time you see him, be sure to tell him (in front of others) that you thought his johnson was the perfect size - not so big as to make you uncomfortable like most guys. I'm sure he'll appreciate the compliment.
NTA
Honestly, it sounds more like you broke up with him due to his lack of respect for you when you told him the comments from his dad made you feel uncomfortable than from the comments.
That is perfectly valid. Your partner should always listen when you tell them something makes you uncomfortable, not mock that.
I don’t even know why you’re here asking if YTA, you are 100000% NOT an asshole. In fact, you were too nice. I hope you don’t ever get back with this guy. He’s a douchebag for not standing up for you and then turning it around on you like you did something wrong. Leave his ass in the gutter and good on you for dumping him.
NTA. Had the same thing happen to me. My ex excused him and said "that's just how he is". Shouldn't come as a surprise that my ex was an affair baby.
I gave it a chance until his dad slapped my ass and mumbled something about sharing in the family to which my ex just rolled his eyes.
I got the clear impression that this was not the first time this happened and I was out of there. Fuck that.
NTA … you just spared yourself the embarrassment of having a husband like that toward women. As well as the misery of being forced to tolerate such inappropriate behavior. Great job in advocating for yourself, enforcing your boundaries, and addressing that super red flag 🚩.
NTA. My partner’s dad can make inappropriate comments too jokingly and not even notice and he did early on, before I was my partner’s partner. I was only working with him at the time but his dad came in, made a comment about my leggings and made a comparison that just didn’t sit right and my face showed it. I started avoiding him after that for a good month and when we started “talking” after that, his dad showed up and was super polite. I never had to say anything, and he’s never told me but I know that he told him to knock it off, it’s a gut feeling. My SIL told me a horror story about when she first got breast implants and a comment he made and it’s always sat in the pit of my stomach that he may make another comment towards me but he’s been nothing but nice to me. I’ve kinda forgotten it all. I probably would never feel 100% comfortable with just him but my partner knows his dad can say inappropriate things and put a stop to it. SIL only had that issue with him too and we’ve both agreed that the brothers have at least talked some sense into him. He’s still a bit old school mentality but he keeps those comments to himself, at least. Your partner was way off base here hun.
NTA. So gross on his father's part but that your boyfriend chose -that- as his 'you're just trying to take me away from my family' hill to die on is beyond fucking weird. Good riddance, OP. Hope your life is amaze, you deserve it.
NTA, the comments would only get worse and more sexual in nature over time. Especially if your BF doesn't see anything wrong with what his Dad is doing.
NTA. His father sounds like the pervert he is. You have good reason to be uncomfortable around him. It’s easier for BF to go along with dad rather than stand up to him. Find another BF?
NTA, he clearly is incapable of validating your feelings on a very serious issue. And to then gaslight you by saying you're trying to create distance between him and his family all because you asked for some basic respect is ridiculous. He's clearly inherited some misogyny that you're better off without.
In his mind, his dad making those comments validated the choice he made, I’m willing to bet he had always sought his dads approval and wanted to impress him
NTA - wow I don’t know who’s worse, stalker vibe from Dad and BF’s reaction is just plain wrong, you sure they didn’t come out of a hidden blast shelter built back in the ‘50’s?
One day exbf is gonna get a gf who *really* doesn’t mind the attention from dear old dad and only when he catches them will he suddenly have a problem with his dad making those comments
NTA
So it's possible that the comments weren't *meant* to make you uncomfortable. I won't defend the behavior, but let's assume in this case, it was intended innocently enough. If you then expressed that the comments made you uncomfortable, then his reaction would've been "oh my goodness, I had no idea I was offending you! I'll work on it." Because of his reaction, he doesn't care how he makes you feel. His son was raised this way, and equally doesn't care how you feel.
No matter the intention of the comments, their reactions are not acceptable. Think of what else your bf would've gaslighted you on later? "Puh-leez! Having a baby isn't even that hard. Just stop screaming, will ya?"
THEY are the AHs. I suspect that he put off introducing you to his dad because of this but his laughter about it wasn’t cool. My father, unfortunately, was like that with my friends. I’d always warn them in advance and apologize profusely. He should have stuck to women outside of my own friendships. I noticed him doing it when I was in senior year. It was such sick, predatory behavior. That’s creepy inappropriate behavior and I’m sorry you went through that. Good for you for leaving. Stick to your guns on that decision!
NO, you are NOT the AH. I’m a mom with a 14 year old daughter. I’ve told her that, in situations just like yours, she needs to gtfo. You did the right thing- never question that. That dad would’ve continued to escalate his comments and then would’ve made the move to inappropriate touching, and on from there. He was testing your boundaries, and you let that gross father-son duo know that you wouldn’t stand for it.
You did the right thing.
Definitely NTA. Making those kind of comments in mixed company is creepy. Especially from someone who might become your father in law. If he wanted to compliment you he could have said something simple like, you look beautiful, love your outfit, that’s a wonderful dress. He has tons of safe choices, but he chose something that was definitely on the sexual side, and being a potential in law makes it gross.
Before reading what you wrote, I thought immediately yes. He’s not responsible for what his father says and perhaps he dodged a bullet. However, after reading EVERYTHING, 100% no. I think maybe the title is misleading a bit. You chose to break up with your bf because he didn’t respect you, your boundaries, or defend you. He treated you like your feelings didn’t matter when you clearly communicated them to him twice. You did the right thing because it was going to get worse if you didn’t put your foot down. You’d be stuck enduring these unwanted comments every time you went over for holidays, birthdays, etc. Your boyfriend had two opportunities to stop this behavior from continuing to occur and he did nothing. You just had enough and I think you did the best thing for yourself. He doesn’t deserve you if he can’t even respect your feelings.
This reminded me of Josh Powell - the man who murdered his wife and ended up blowing up his house with both sons inside. He also had a dad that was infatuated with his wife - and he also saw no problem with it.
If you’re ever feeling creeped out - remove yourself from the situation. NTA
NTAH. I thought maybe it was wrong of you but then I read that your boyfriend thought it was funny and encouraged the behavior and that's your cue to leave and not look back. That's a family that thinks sexual harassment is acceptable.
NTA, you dodged a bullet of a lifetime of uncomfortable comments. He’s not going to change. I have a stepdad who makes creepy comments all of the time to myself, my friends, my kids, their friends, servers, grocery store clerks and any woman he sees who looks cute, no one is off limits. I have dealt with it for over 20 years, my mom has always shrugged her shoulders and said “boys will be boys”. Now that I’m older and it’s affecting my kids I’ve distanced our relationship. Unfortunately that means distancing myself from my mom too which does hurt, but that’s the life she chose.
"they ignored it and kept talking about what men usually talk about." Yeah, this is ragebait, completely fake. Just curious though, what is it "men usually talk about."? Being one, I find our conversations cover a wide range of topics.
NTA your bf is an insensitive AH, and his father is a CREEP. Who comments that to their SON'S GIRLFRIEND??! Disgusting.
Block him asap. I'm sorry you wasted two years with this soggy cabbage and put up with his father's weird ass inappropriate comments.
NTA. Good for you for not continuing with that relationship. He obviously learned not to care about women's feelings from his gross father. Best choice was to leave.
nope, nta. I think if it was just "oh what a nice dress" wouldn't be bad but the buy lip gloss to make it pop? WTF? And not backing down and saying sorry it wouldn't happen again (both of them saying it), is a deal breaker. Some people are awkward, such as myself, but also don't want to make others uncomfy. Sadly these two DGAF.
Leaving was the smartest move. I have a creepy dad and my family knows it. It’s disgusting to comment on about your thighs. Your exboyfriend is also creepy for continuing to laugh about it. You dodged a huge bullet. I have a creepy dad and my family knows it. My brother hasn’t spoken to him in more than 20yrs and I speak to him on extremely rare occasions. He’s disgusting.
You are NTA. Speaking as a father (and older than your boyfriend’s father) your gut is telling you something. The old saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has been used for eons because it’s true. You’re not just seeing your boyfriend’s father’s behavior towards women - you’re witnessing the future with ur boyfriend. He will be the same - and eventually treat you as such - once he has you emotionally tied. My daughter had a similar situation- after mtg his parents I told my wife there will be a problem. The father was clearly a narcissist and misogynist- ruled the house and his wife was subservient. As I said - The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A few years later it was all coming out. Thank God my daughter was strong enough to get her ass out of that one.
NTA, the fact he laughed at you and didn't listen to you at all? Totally justified reaction. The dad's comments if they were just innocent compliments, are one thing. But the "compliments" were pretty weird/gross.
Big red flag your ex acted the way he did at the time. And it sealed the rip cord pull when you confronted him later and he spoke to you the way he did.
NTA I would do the same you told you’re boyfriend you felt uncomfortable and he laughed it off and actually said you were trying to lose his bond with him I’m sorry those are red flags run never turn back for me those are signs of a person that would hit his wife girl you did the right thing and you left him
No, that’s uncomfortable for sure. There’s a lot of space between “breaking a bond” and “laughing at comments that make my girlfriend uncomfortable”, your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead.
You're NTA for not wanting to be with a guy who laughs at your discomfort while his own father makes sexual comments about you. That guy is a loser who doesn't deserve a gf. Dump him hard.
NTA thats very weird you are correct to break up. Those comments might lead to a very bad life with this family especially since they dont see anything wrong with it.
I hope you’re doing okay but feel proud you put a stop to this early saving yourself more pain or discomfort.
NTA. His family made you feel uncomfortable and you spoke up for yourself. He deflected instead of accepting the reality that his dad was being inappropriate.
You are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. What are you settling down with someone who things making inappropriate remarks is ok? Its a major red flag. He was raised in a toxic environment and he thinks its ok. Hope you dont have kids with him. Imagine his old man making inappropriate comments on your daughters physique
Nta. They view you as a trophy to be shown off and “bond” over how desirable you look. They have probably high fived over the son “landing” you. Don’t feel bad for dipping.
Gross gross GROSS!!! I'm so glad you got out when you did! That's extremely pervy behavior and the fact your bf laughed and went along with it is a huge red flag! Good on you for leaving!! You are most definitely NTA!
I'm glad you saw that familys true colors before you married into it. If you ever start feeling weak and drawn back into their disfunction, Google the Susan Powell case.
NTA. You didn’t break up because of his dad’s comments, you broke up cause of BFs callousness.
Bingo and Yahtzee!
Agreed.
NTA. I think OP should be 'grateful' to the father, because he helped show her what her boyfriend was really like. She's lucky that she knows before there are kids involved.
Yep
I would say both. The father's comments were the gasoline and the BFs reaction was the lighter. She is better off without creepy young Herbert. In case you don't know https://youtu.be/y41vObbUf9k?si=ZoCPiUY6brV7PXfC
SORRY, I agree with GF. I don't know what this father does for a living he seems to be awfully familiar and intimate w/o being the boyfriend/husband to this young woman. I am speaking, having been the young woman who dismissed these uncomfortable issues. Hindsight would later make me wish I had not allowed such familiarity from someone.
nta he can’t control his fathers actions but for some reason he thinks what his dad is doing is okay after you stated it makes you uncomfortable they’re both weirdos
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yes, His bond with his dad over sexualizing women was stronger and more important than his bond with her.
Men like this don't believe women are people.
[удалено]
More times than I care to admit I have thought this exact thing! It's sickening to realize just how much "entertainment" is factual...on a positive note I have found comfort knowing that I'm not alone in the things I've been through though so there's always that!
Art imitates life.
It doesn't have a problem with it because that's how he was raised.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Came to say this exact thing. No one needs a justified reason to break up with anyone. You don't want to be with them anymore is always good enough.
Did you say ex-boyfriend?
[удалено]
And now he doesn't have a girlfriend you are not that a****** your ex boyfriend and his father were. If somebody makes you uncomfortable about what they're saying or doing you get the f*** away from them you would never be the a******
Nobody’s gonna smite you if you type curse words out. They’re allowed here.
I know but for the 15,000th time I use text speak and they censored me. I curse like a dock worker trust me this is very annoying
Yeah, can you imagine if OP stayed and they had kids. She’d get to hear her husband talk to/about their son’s gf’s in an inappropriate manner. What if they had daughters? 🤢 NTA. If your partner doesn’t understand that the comments are not ok and a clear boundary for you then he’s not the one. Best to move on now.
[удалено]
Stolen comment
Or how he'd talk about his own granddaughter if they had any girls.
And probably how he'll act around other women too.
Yup, that’s probably how they talk about all good looking women they see
Yes! OP I was in a similar situation. First time I met my ex’s Father was at my Ex’s GrandFather’s (Paternal side) funeral. After my Ex introduced me to his Dad, I told his Dad “I’m so sorry for the loss of your Father, and although it’s very nice to meet you, I’m sorry it was under these circumstances.” He didn’t say a word to me. He shook my ex’s hand, while staring me up and down, and said “Nice catch son, I’m VERY proud of you.” Long story short, Ex and his Father were perverted, misogynistic and womanizer’s. I am so glad I got away from that. Trust me, you dodged a bullet!
[удалено]
I can’t speak for all people, but based on what I saw from my ex and his Dad.. a lot!
Yeah, as I started reading I could almost see it from the boyfriend's point of view. Plenty of people wouldn't want to be responsible for everything their parents say- it's always awkward when your peers meet them. But once the bf started laughing along, and was later dismissive in private, I was entirely with OP.
A friend of mine still talks about what a dirt-bag his grandpa was, how his friends from school always complained about that one dirty old man who tried to hit on all the young girls and how mortifying it was to tell them it was his grandpa. My friend is nothing like that, he is just the sweetest man.
The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
OP did the right thing and removed two assholes in her life.
You didn’t break up because of what his dad said. You broke up because he didn’t protect you from his father’s creepiness.
Because that's how the bf is doing to other women.
NTA run girl and the fact that he doesn't respect you alone is enough don't go back.
Read somewhere that if a guy is in love he won't allow men around him to talk disrespectfully to or about you. If he is with you for sex he is just fine discussing your body and sex life with other guys Any guy want to confirm or deny?
>Read somewhere that if a guy is in love he won't allow men around him to talk disrespectfully to or about you. >If he is with you for sex he is just fine discussing your body and sex life with other guys >Any guy want to confirm or deny? No, you don't disrespect people whether they are lovers, friends, brothers or sisters. And to be more concrete, any decent guy will defend a female friend, coworker, sibling from being talked about like they were an antique or painting in a gallery. Love is not necessary, the disrespect is sufficient.
> And to be more concrete, any decent ~~guy~~ **human being** will defend a female friend, coworker, sibling from being talked about like they were an antique or painting in a gallery. Made a tiny change but I couldn't agree more. Also, to be fair, I talk about antiques and paintings with more dignity and respect than this guy's dad did to her. Sounds like his family (or at the very least, his dad) lacks some serious self-awareness and boundaries as a result. Good for OP for communicating the boundary and taking action when it wasn't respected. She's lightyears ahead of where I was at that age, good things will come as a result.
Great answer, I have seen it in action from a few men.
Yeah, both weirdos. Both of them were being very sexist and inappropriate about personal issues that you told them you were uncomfortable with. Black and white very plain. I am glad that you left.
Basically stated that it's "Locker room talk" you know, boys will be boys, and probably thinks it's fine to grab women by the p\*ssy too!
and chances are he's gonna be like his old man (if he isn't already!). I wouldn't wanna be married to that.
NTA. You can break up with anyone for any reason, so you would be NTA anyways, but there are several really good reasons here: Ex’s Dad is just being completely inappropriate, and ex went from failing to stand up for you to actually joining in with his dad. You’re young, and the dating world is a mess, but there are better options out there. I’m sorry this happened though, and I hope you take good care of yourself right now. Getting out of a relationship can be hard. If you haven’t lately, drink a glass of water and eat a snack. Hang in there OP
Tears, you’re so kind<3
Honestly, you should be proud of yourself for sticking up for yourself the way you did. That was not an easy thing to do, and many young people deal with all sorts of stuff for various reasons. Good for you. As negative as this situation was, and I'm sorry that you dealt with the dad and bf in that way, because fuck them both, i still 'walk away' from this post with a positive feeling. From a random internet stranger, you did good.
A million times this. This internet stranger is very proud of you.
Yes! This right here! She stood up for herself and stood her ground. It really sucks that she went through this but the decision she made with handling the situation speaks volumes about her.
dont care whose parents tell me i have great thighs im out and im a straight guy lmao SO or friend im done, nm SO's 56 year old mother
:) You’re gonna’ make it!
You are definitely NTA, and I'm glad you got yourself out of there. I wish when I was your age, I had had the self awareness and self confidence to stand up for myself like you did in situations like that. Would have saved me a lot of suffering.
You had the strength to leave, you're doing great! You didn't break up with him, you lost a major chunk of deadbeat garbage. I wish I could've had half the strength you did to stand up for myself years ago... You're amazing!
Exactly what I was going to say.
I couldn’t have said this any better. Great comment!
NTA run girl and the fact that he doesn't respect you alone is enough don't go back.
[удалено]
Run and take the mom with you 😭
NTA An older guy that frequently shops at the store i used to work at used to always call me sweetie. At one point he was coming through the line behind me and he said "you have one hell of a body on you young lady" Like your BF's dad because he was older, some people didn't take it seriously. I talked about it with my friend and she said it was sexual harassment and wasn't allowed by anyone regardless of age. If that one instance is considered SH, then what your bf's dad continuously said and did was absolutely SH as well. "You have nice thighs" is not only harassment, it's inappropriate language to use on anyone other than your S/O.. like where the hell is your BF's mother in all this? Why didn't she say anything?? Did she just brush it off, cause gurl I would be LIVID if my husband talked to another woman (let alone one that's going enough to be his daughter) like that! Good on you for telling your enabling BF off! If he asks, tell him you're tired of his dad sexually harassing you :)
Sadly, his mother passed away a few months before, otherwise, I know she would’ve said something. I remember that his father stayed silent when we went to see them and his mother was present.
I would unfortunately have thrown that in ex's face.. "Your mother would be f*cking ashamed of you. Is this how you treat your girlfriend, letting some creepy old man make disgusting comments about your girlfriend's body and think it's funny? News flash, buddy. It's not. It's disgusting. Good luck finding a girlfriend who won't resent you for this behavior in the future and wants to ever visit your creepy dad. Bye.." Then, slam the door in his face on my way out. You did the right thing. Good for you OP standing up for yourself. Be proud. I am.
You forgot to include "If you find the girl who enjoys those "compliments" don't be surprised if she ends up boinking your dad."
You best believe I would be saying the same thing with a lot of harsher words. What a POS
So his father KNOWS it's unacceptable behaviour because his wife wouldny have stood for it. Nta.
Ah, i didn't want to imply or ask specifics but it makes a lot of sense. The loss is terrible, and makes it all the worse that he's doing this now that she's gone. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that, i hope you can find someone that will respect boundaries and stand up for you!
She kept him in line. That’s so sad.
Exactly. Regardless of who says it, and who they say it to. She let it be known the comments are unwelcome so continuing is sexual harassment. Which is against the law.
He will be as weird as his dad NTA
NTA Absolutely not your fault, problem, or anything. You are 100% the victim here. Inappropriate comments leaving you uncomfortable are not okay. Especially from a much older man when you're in his house. Such a dodgy power dynamic. So you're NTA for calling out the behaviour or stating you felt uncomfortable. When you got home you brought it up to your partner that it upset you. NTA here either. You approached the person who's supposed to have your back to have your back. He didn't. NTA. Then when you were belittled for your feelings and you left. NTA. Look after yourself. You're so in the right here.
I'm 56 and I have a son. I know that comments like those are crossing all kinds of lines. Aside from me though, I 100% know for certain that my son, who is 18, would be angry at me for treating you like that. The dad is a creep, but your ex is enabling him and you are better off out of it. You are definitely NTA.
Honey you can break up with whoever you want for whatever reason you want, at any time, any day, no explanation necessary. With that being said, sounds like you have pretty good reason to just not want these people in your life, and that’s your choice.. and you’re ENTITLED to it. You don’t have to say sorry or justify it to anyone.
NTa. You didn’t break up because of what his dad said. You broke up because he didn’t protect you from his father’s creepiness.
Fyi, its not normal to talk about your gf body with your father. You ex is a fucking wierdo. NTA
I wish more women were like you. I just love a good ending. NTA.
[удалено]
NTA - You clearly expressed that you felt uncomfortable because of the things his dad said. And he just talked you down and disrespected your feeling/boundaries. Totally understandable that you don't want to be with him anymore. He should have protected you and talked to his dad about it. But he didn't. I really hope you find someone who treats you better than that.
Nta I went through the exact same thing and ex told me I was crazy despite the evidence being there. The earlier you get out, the less trauma you'll have to heal (at least this is what I'm currently dealing with)
NTA. You needed to protect yourself if your cowardly ex-boyfriend didn’t do it for you. Never feel guilt for self-care and self-love.
You are 100% normal and right. Well done and onto the next candidate. This one was a dud.
You should change the headline to more, "I broke up with my boyfriend cause his dad's a creep and he enabled his behaviour" NTA, I would never let my dad talk to my gf/wife like that
Eww that red flag covers the entire family home
NTA. You’re right to leave. Your ex has been around that type of behavior and thinks it’s normal guy stuff. Good like finding a woman with half a brain to be ok with those kind of comments!
NTA, I'm glad you're only 22 and already strong enough to leave when you are being mistreated. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA. Good for you. Get away from family of creeps. Thats a red flag as big as a skyscraper.
NTA To be clear though, you didn't not break up with him because of what his father said; you broke up with him because of what happened after: his fucked up reaction and lack of support. The father's comments were more of a catalyst. Good for you you dodged a freaking bullet.
If you feel disrespected, and express this and are met with more disrespect, you’re only wrong if you stay. Respect yourself.
NTA, his father is basically harassing you, and your now ex-bf yucking it up with him--disgusting. I'm glad you bailed and just stayed your ground. If you take the bf back, his father will up the ante with you---he might talk about your breast next.
NTA. > "The standard we walk past, is the standard we accept." > --Lt. Gen. David Morrison, former Chief of Army, Australia You're not breaking up with him because of what his dad said. You're breaking up with him because of how he reacted to the whole situation. His father treating you as a sexual object is a standard he walks past, therefore it's a standard he accepts. And not only does he accept that standard, he defends his father's words and actions and invalidates your complaint about it and tries to turn HIM into the victim, turning your very reasonable complaint into an attack. I'm sure he's a great guy in other ways. But I also doubt that this was the first time you've felt unsupported by him, otherwise you wouldn't have just up and left. Don't accept disrespect from people. And don't keep people who disrespect you, or think you should allow yourself to be disrespected, in your life.
NTA your boyfriend is definitely discussing intimate details of your relationship with his dad who is now both literally and figuratively living vicariously through him, by sizing you up whilst imagining what he told him. That’s why it’s getting increasingly sexual and weird - they probably both essentially think it’s hot to share a young woman between them, or son thinks he’s cool because dad wants to fuck his girlfriend.
NTA - if you were to have a long-erm relationship with your (ex?) boyfriend, the comments would continue. And you have been ridiculed for it, so it things continued escalating you may not be looked after when you feel bad. Further more, if you were to mary the (ex) B/F, you'd have this potentiall for the rest of (your ex's fathers) life. What people dont realise when they enter into a long-term relationship is that you're not just with that person, you're with their family and friends too (just as they are with yours). If you're not comfortable with things (and this really is a big issue - I would have the same reaction as you if it were happening to me) then you are right to walk away and find something better...safer. All the best and merry christmas.
NTA, you're smart for getting out.
NTA His reaction to what you told him is a very large red flag. He will dismiss anything you want to discuss if it differs from his dad's view.
I say this as the deeply ashamed son of a man who has been worse than gross to the partners brought home by my brothers. Your ex is deeply in the wrong and he should not be enabling that behavior. That is sexual harassment. Left unchecked it will only get worse. Well done for standing your ground and getting away from that. You deserve better, you know that and you made that for yourself even when your partner was rallying against you. Well done for being so brave - most of us struggle to. ETA: NTA in any way
NTA It sounds like you didn't break up with him over his dad's comments though. You broke up with him because of how he reacted to your feelings about his dad's comments. That is 100% fair.
Not defending you make you NTA. He can’t control his dad, but he can certainly tell him he crossed a line
This reminds me of the time i met my ex’s great uncle. We had been together 7 years, his great uncle was like 75. I said ‘hi, I’m So n So.’ He said ‘you jiggle in all the right places!’ They all thought it was soooo funny! Can’t imagine why it didn’t work out.
You would be an arsehole of you broke him with him because of something his dad said. However, your story suggests that you broke up with him because of his reaction to the distress caused by what his dad said. NTA and your ex sounds like a bell end.
NTA, the very least your boyfriend could have done was acknowledged that YOU felt uncomfortable and therefore tell his father not to make any comments on your appearance again, with respect. The fact that the dad and BF laughed it off in your face is a major red flag.
NTA Sounds like the father and bf were lining you up for a spit roast.
NTA This gives me the ick. Good on you for getting out when you did
Nta....that's just gross.
Easy decision. NTA. You would have endured a lifetime of disrespect.
NTA He let the mask fall off.
NTA....because of how he handled it. It's not that his dad made the comments. It's that he's OK with it, and likely will be similar in behavior as his dad.
If it’s sexual… definitely NTA… which it sounds like it is. For those saying that there is no reason to ever comment on someone’s body, I’ll share a story about my then GF, now wife… so my maternal Grandparents met my GF when we had been dating for a couple of years and were getting serious. My maternal grandparents were raised in the depression as immigrant children from Poland… they met my GF and immediately (and awkwardly) proceeded to say that my wife was of “good, sturdy stock” and also separately that she had good child bearing hips… seems like a nightmare, right?…. From their perspective they were raised with a very real concern that they had seen issues with health complications with births from narrow hipped women… now, granted, I understand that we live in an era where medically we’re prepared to deal with these issues because they can and do arise. It probably shouldn’t have been something they should have commented on. However, culturally, it was meant as a blessing and a compliment to my then GF. Now bear in mind that my wife is indeed a sturdily built woman….not fat, just strong and thicker.. She was an athlete at the time and bullied for her thicker physical attributes. Comments about them were always derogatory. This begs the question of how my wife reacted, because I was horrified and on the cusp of making an issue out of it. My wife was over the moon in love with them and took it as a full throated endorsement of her. Why? She was raised by first generation Polish immigrants. She knew exactly what they meant by it and understood it for what it was and to hear someone praise her outside of her family for the first time probably ever for attributes that others had seen as a negative worked wonders for her self esteem with respect to my family. While sexual in a reproductive sense, it wasn’t sexual in a lecherous kind of way. While, yes, it could have been taken negatively, I found out later that they made the decision to make that comment after discussing her family’s roots with my mom. Turns out it was a carefully considered decision that they made, that even I didn’t fully understand at the time. Not saying this applies to OP in any way at all, just a fond memory of my wife and grandparents meeting that I thought people might find entertaining. To be clear, I was fully ready to stand up for my wife at that point, but to my absolute befuddlement went the complete opposite direction.
NTA, the fact that he thinks this behavior is acceptable is gross and definitely breakup worthy.
So, a misogynist pig raised a misogynist pig. Good thing you found out before marriage.
NTA. You voiced your discomfort, they didn’t care.
Yeah, you made the right choice. Your ex is clearly completely in his family's hip pocket and will never be supportive of you when it comes to a disagreement. Apparently it's perfectly fine for them to make comments about you like you're livestock. Next time you see him, be sure to tell him (in front of others) that you thought his johnson was the perfect size - not so big as to make you uncomfortable like most guys. I'm sure he'll appreciate the compliment.
NTA Honestly, it sounds more like you broke up with him due to his lack of respect for you when you told him the comments from his dad made you feel uncomfortable than from the comments. That is perfectly valid. Your partner should always listen when you tell them something makes you uncomfortable, not mock that.
NTA. His dad is perving on you and your bf thought it was funny.
Girl NTA 1000000x over If your bf is ok with his dad making creepy comments about his gf, that is a HUGE 🚩 You did the right thing FWIW
I don’t even know why you’re here asking if YTA, you are 100000% NOT an asshole. In fact, you were too nice. I hope you don’t ever get back with this guy. He’s a douchebag for not standing up for you and then turning it around on you like you did something wrong. Leave his ass in the gutter and good on you for dumping him.
NTA. They are both pervy and sexist. Good that you got out now and didn’t waste anymore time.
NTA. Had the same thing happen to me. My ex excused him and said "that's just how he is". Shouldn't come as a surprise that my ex was an affair baby. I gave it a chance until his dad slapped my ass and mumbled something about sharing in the family to which my ex just rolled his eyes. I got the clear impression that this was not the first time this happened and I was out of there. Fuck that.
NTA … you just spared yourself the embarrassment of having a husband like that toward women. As well as the misery of being forced to tolerate such inappropriate behavior. Great job in advocating for yourself, enforcing your boundaries, and addressing that super red flag 🚩.
Nta but you are not leaving him for what his father said. You're leaving him because of his reaction to your distress.
NTA but ex and his father are. He was sexually harassing you and your exBF thought it was funny. Glad you ended the relationship! Proud of you!
NTA. My partner’s dad can make inappropriate comments too jokingly and not even notice and he did early on, before I was my partner’s partner. I was only working with him at the time but his dad came in, made a comment about my leggings and made a comparison that just didn’t sit right and my face showed it. I started avoiding him after that for a good month and when we started “talking” after that, his dad showed up and was super polite. I never had to say anything, and he’s never told me but I know that he told him to knock it off, it’s a gut feeling. My SIL told me a horror story about when she first got breast implants and a comment he made and it’s always sat in the pit of my stomach that he may make another comment towards me but he’s been nothing but nice to me. I’ve kinda forgotten it all. I probably would never feel 100% comfortable with just him but my partner knows his dad can say inappropriate things and put a stop to it. SIL only had that issue with him too and we’ve both agreed that the brothers have at least talked some sense into him. He’s still a bit old school mentality but he keeps those comments to himself, at least. Your partner was way off base here hun.
NTA. So gross on his father's part but that your boyfriend chose -that- as his 'you're just trying to take me away from my family' hill to die on is beyond fucking weird. Good riddance, OP. Hope your life is amaze, you deserve it.
NTA, the comments would only get worse and more sexual in nature over time. Especially if your BF doesn't see anything wrong with what his Dad is doing.
NTA. His father sounds like the pervert he is. You have good reason to be uncomfortable around him. It’s easier for BF to go along with dad rather than stand up to him. Find another BF?
NTA, and you probably just saved yourself from being SA'd. DHMFA.
NTA, he clearly is incapable of validating your feelings on a very serious issue. And to then gaslight you by saying you're trying to create distance between him and his family all because you asked for some basic respect is ridiculous. He's clearly inherited some misogyny that you're better off without.
In his mind, his dad making those comments validated the choice he made, I’m willing to bet he had always sought his dads approval and wanted to impress him
NTA - wow I don’t know who’s worse, stalker vibe from Dad and BF’s reaction is just plain wrong, you sure they didn’t come out of a hidden blast shelter built back in the ‘50’s?
One day exbf is gonna get a gf who *really* doesn’t mind the attention from dear old dad and only when he catches them will he suddenly have a problem with his dad making those comments
NTA So it's possible that the comments weren't *meant* to make you uncomfortable. I won't defend the behavior, but let's assume in this case, it was intended innocently enough. If you then expressed that the comments made you uncomfortable, then his reaction would've been "oh my goodness, I had no idea I was offending you! I'll work on it." Because of his reaction, he doesn't care how he makes you feel. His son was raised this way, and equally doesn't care how you feel. No matter the intention of the comments, their reactions are not acceptable. Think of what else your bf would've gaslighted you on later? "Puh-leez! Having a baby isn't even that hard. Just stop screaming, will ya?"
You got rid of two creeps with one shot. Good for you. NTA.
THEY are the AHs. I suspect that he put off introducing you to his dad because of this but his laughter about it wasn’t cool. My father, unfortunately, was like that with my friends. I’d always warn them in advance and apologize profusely. He should have stuck to women outside of my own friendships. I noticed him doing it when I was in senior year. It was such sick, predatory behavior. That’s creepy inappropriate behavior and I’m sorry you went through that. Good for you for leaving. Stick to your guns on that decision!
NO, you are NOT the AH. I’m a mom with a 14 year old daughter. I’ve told her that, in situations just like yours, she needs to gtfo. You did the right thing- never question that. That dad would’ve continued to escalate his comments and then would’ve made the move to inappropriate touching, and on from there. He was testing your boundaries, and you let that gross father-son duo know that you wouldn’t stand for it. You did the right thing.
Good for you...you dumped him and you should not look back. Forget that guy and his whole family, his loss
Definitely NTA. Making those kind of comments in mixed company is creepy. Especially from someone who might become your father in law. If he wanted to compliment you he could have said something simple like, you look beautiful, love your outfit, that’s a wonderful dress. He has tons of safe choices, but he chose something that was definitely on the sexual side, and being a potential in law makes it gross.
Before reading what you wrote, I thought immediately yes. He’s not responsible for what his father says and perhaps he dodged a bullet. However, after reading EVERYTHING, 100% no. I think maybe the title is misleading a bit. You chose to break up with your bf because he didn’t respect you, your boundaries, or defend you. He treated you like your feelings didn’t matter when you clearly communicated them to him twice. You did the right thing because it was going to get worse if you didn’t put your foot down. You’d be stuck enduring these unwanted comments every time you went over for holidays, birthdays, etc. Your boyfriend had two opportunities to stop this behavior from continuing to occur and he did nothing. You just had enough and I think you did the best thing for yourself. He doesn’t deserve you if he can’t even respect your feelings.
NTA the dad creepy as fuck
So his dad was hitting on and making passes on his girlfriend..... that's some fucking next level weird cuck bullshit there, definitely NTA🤦🏽♂️
This reminded me of Josh Powell - the man who murdered his wife and ended up blowing up his house with both sons inside. He also had a dad that was infatuated with his wife - and he also saw no problem with it. If you’re ever feeling creeped out - remove yourself from the situation. NTA
NTAH. I thought maybe it was wrong of you but then I read that your boyfriend thought it was funny and encouraged the behavior and that's your cue to leave and not look back. That's a family that thinks sexual harassment is acceptable.
NTA, you dodged a bullet of a lifetime of uncomfortable comments. He’s not going to change. I have a stepdad who makes creepy comments all of the time to myself, my friends, my kids, their friends, servers, grocery store clerks and any woman he sees who looks cute, no one is off limits. I have dealt with it for over 20 years, my mom has always shrugged her shoulders and said “boys will be boys”. Now that I’m older and it’s affecting my kids I’ve distanced our relationship. Unfortunately that means distancing myself from my mom too which does hurt, but that’s the life she chose.
"they ignored it and kept talking about what men usually talk about." Yeah, this is ragebait, completely fake. Just curious though, what is it "men usually talk about."? Being one, I find our conversations cover a wide range of topics.
NTA your bf is an insensitive AH, and his father is a CREEP. Who comments that to their SON'S GIRLFRIEND??! Disgusting. Block him asap. I'm sorry you wasted two years with this soggy cabbage and put up with his father's weird ass inappropriate comments.
Nah, your fine. You needed him to have your back. He didn't.
Weird that he was comfortable with his dad flirting with you. As a dude, I would have been put off if my dad ever did that.
NTA. Good for you for not continuing with that relationship. He obviously learned not to care about women's feelings from his gross father. Best choice was to leave.
nope, nta. I think if it was just "oh what a nice dress" wouldn't be bad but the buy lip gloss to make it pop? WTF? And not backing down and saying sorry it wouldn't happen again (both of them saying it), is a deal breaker. Some people are awkward, such as myself, but also don't want to make others uncomfy. Sadly these two DGAF.
NTA. They don’t respect you. You deserve respect. Good move.
I was gonna come here to say YTA ( it's not your bf's fault if his family is trash ), then i read his reaction... 🤦 Fuck them.
Same here!
NTA
NTA We Can’t control our parents but our own behaviour.
Nta
NTA. This is weird.
Probably your BF was even discussing your sex life with him, what a bunch of creeps. Good you dumped his immature ass.
Nta, when your ex decided to laugh instead of care
NTA And now? What did he say to the break up? Did he accept it? Did you block him?
He blocked and I have a new boyfriend now<3
Leaving was the smartest move. I have a creepy dad and my family knows it. It’s disgusting to comment on about your thighs. Your exboyfriend is also creepy for continuing to laugh about it. You dodged a huge bullet. I have a creepy dad and my family knows it. My brother hasn’t spoken to him in more than 20yrs and I speak to him on extremely rare occasions. He’s disgusting.
You are NTA. Speaking as a father (and older than your boyfriend’s father) your gut is telling you something. The old saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has been used for eons because it’s true. You’re not just seeing your boyfriend’s father’s behavior towards women - you’re witnessing the future with ur boyfriend. He will be the same - and eventually treat you as such - once he has you emotionally tied. My daughter had a similar situation- after mtg his parents I told my wife there will be a problem. The father was clearly a narcissist and misogynist- ruled the house and his wife was subservient. As I said - The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A few years later it was all coming out. Thank God my daughter was strong enough to get her ass out of that one.
NTA, the fact he laughed at you and didn't listen to you at all? Totally justified reaction. The dad's comments if they were just innocent compliments, are one thing. But the "compliments" were pretty weird/gross. Big red flag your ex acted the way he did at the time. And it sealed the rip cord pull when you confronted him later and he spoke to you the way he did.
NTA I would do the same you told you’re boyfriend you felt uncomfortable and he laughed it off and actually said you were trying to lose his bond with him I’m sorry those are red flags run never turn back for me those are signs of a person that would hit his wife girl you did the right thing and you left him
NTA, but ewww seriously so gross. Both your ex and his dad see you as an object. Yuck.
No, that’s uncomfortable for sure. There’s a lot of space between “breaking a bond” and “laughing at comments that make my girlfriend uncomfortable”, your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead.
You're NTA for not wanting to be with a guy who laughs at your discomfort while his own father makes sexual comments about you. That guy is a loser who doesn't deserve a gf. Dump him hard.
They both sound like disgusting perverts and his mom allowing him to act up . I don't blame you I would have noped out too.
NYA and I’m so glad you stood up for yourself in the face of those two creeps. Your BF should have had your back. You dodged a bullet there.
NTA. Bravo OP! I love it that you value yourself enough to leave people who don't respect you! It takes a strong spine!
NTA. Ex bf’s father’s comments were wholly inappropriate and gross
Nta
I’d have broken up with him toon
NTA. Super inappropriate.
NTA thats very weird you are correct to break up. Those comments might lead to a very bad life with this family especially since they dont see anything wrong with it. I hope you’re doing okay but feel proud you put a stop to this early saving yourself more pain or discomfort.
NTA. His family made you feel uncomfortable and you spoke up for yourself. He deflected instead of accepting the reality that his dad was being inappropriate.
NTA - Good for you for setting boundaries and standing by them!
fuck that guy. Good call from you.
You are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. What are you settling down with someone who things making inappropriate remarks is ok? Its a major red flag. He was raised in a toxic environment and he thinks its ok. Hope you dont have kids with him. Imagine his old man making inappropriate comments on your daughters physique
Nta. They view you as a trophy to be shown off and “bond” over how desirable you look. They have probably high fived over the son “landing” you. Don’t feel bad for dipping.
NTA, his weird dad can comment on his sons thighs now you're not there.
NTA. That’s creepy.
NTA. Time to find you another man. Fck that loser and his perv dad.
Gross gross GROSS!!! I'm so glad you got out when you did! That's extremely pervy behavior and the fact your bf laughed and went along with it is a huge red flag! Good on you for leaving!! You are most definitely NTA!
You did the right thing.
Your ex is creepy and so is his father
I'm glad you saw that familys true colors before you married into it. If you ever start feeling weak and drawn back into their disfunction, Google the Susan Powell case.