If this works out for you guys, that's great. For me it's such huge red flag, that she wakes up same time as you, joined the same gym as you and want's to spend a lot of time with you plus is looking at places to rent near you. Maybe it's because I've seen too many stories like that end in a horrible way. Again, if it works out for you guys it's great, to me it's one red flag after another and seems like a start of something fishy.
Hugging and kissing is normal in certain cultures, especially in Spanish speaking ones like the name Ana indicates. I tried to hug and kiss a Polish coworker goodbye this weekend and I'm still cringing and mortified by it, but that's just how you say goodbye in my country.
That sounds about right. I'm polish and you should expect death stares and not hugs and kisses while saying goodbye (or good morning or million other things)
In my defence, the three coworkers who had left before had initiated the hug and kiss themselves, although we were all women and he was the only guy. And in almost four years I've found Polish people super warm and affectionate!
>And in almost four years I've found Polish people super warm and affectionate
When you get to know them. Polish people usually are distanced at first but when we're comfortable with someone we open up pretty quickly.
Heres what I think he's misrepresented just from the last paragraph.
Latino people do the cheek kiss for family or close friends. They don't full on smooch the cheek, they kind of "miss" intentionally and make a kiss sound.
The only people who smooch you flat on the face are grateful people, parents, or grandparents.
Kisses on the cheek are nothing! And it’s definitely common as a greeting in my circles even in business settings. I live in Florida and work with people from all over the country. Why do so many people sexualize this?
I think it was odd enough for OP because he's not from the same culture, but it's definitely in our culture (Latino/hispanic). Now, as we live the USA we've learned to adapt to different cultures, but in OP he's married to one so Ana may feel he's already used to some of our ways.
The fact that he openly brought to the incident with Ana and wife (without making a big deal) may have helped Ana feel more comfortable with him and the family dynamic and allow her to be more herself.
But anyways, it's not odd for us (Latinos/Hispanic) to kiss and hugs friends and acquaintance, it's our way of saying hi and bye or good morning and good night. We also say "mi amor" or "corazón" to friends and acquaintance of any gender, not just our partners.
For reference, I'm from Puerto Rico. So for us it's pretty typical, same DR, Cuba, etc.
Yup any time you feel like you should tell your s/o something. IMO you should. He knew his wife would be unhappy about it and thats why he felt nervous. That feeling tells you everything you need to know. It might have been 100% innocent. But given the context of the situation. Im telling my wife. I love my wife to death. She comes first in life above all else. I would rather be honest and cause an issue with my wifes friend as awful as the situation she was in is. Than not tell my wife and cause an issue with my wife.
I understand it is a cultural thing. But we have 2 possible worst case scenarios.
I tell my wife and she blows up at the friend. But my relationship with my wife is not at risk.
I dont tell my wife. She finds out and gets mad at me and it puts our relationship at risk.
Im 10000% of the time picking the former.
If you get that feeling its because you know better. Thats just me.
Hiding what very well have been innocent (like the sister and the pool) is a time bomb waiting to happen. Ana is up to something and it's only a matter of time before she tells wife and embellishes what happened. Then she will be a convenient titty to cry on.
Same! I was like so you’re all polyamorous and in some sort of triad situation?? This seems super suspect to me as well. Ana gets up with him in the morning, cooks with him, kisses him and joined his gym so they can workout together. Ana has no plans to move out. OP doesn’t want her to leave. “Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean…”
what OP does/gets from anna: morning hug and kiss, morning wake up/breakfast routine, gym time, spending time with son, cooking dinner
he spends the whole day with anna, except (maybe) night/sleep time
but yes, anna is like OP wife's sister (or maybe a sister wife but OP made a typo lol)
I felt uncomfortable reading how much she’s inserted herself in your life. There’s still red flags waving and you’re either stupidly oblivious or you’re enjoying the attention that you choose to be oblivious.
Rebecca De Mornay was so terrifying in that movie it seemed to have cost her a varied career. Mrs. Mott scared me more than Pennywise, or Freddy, or whatever other fantastical monsters.
Apt comparison. OOP’s houseguest keeps not only inserting but ingratiating herself.
Why is the potential or obvious potential AP always an Ana? 😂 gosh OP, this reminds me of another recent post and the dude ended up leaving his wife for 'Ana' and eventually came to regret it. All the signs that she was coming onto him were there in his first post asking about his wife, just like yours. Your positive spin is egging this woman on and she's going to attach herself to you because she's emotionally vulnerable. I'll see you in a few months. RemindMe! 1 month
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> Most of you were reading my post as a telenovela or a start of a porn movie and the comments were really not helping calm me down.
Never change, reddit. Never change.
I accidentally saw my bbf/like a sister's husband naked once. We quickly whispered to never speak of it. That was the end of it. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it. We were already close friends too but we didn't suddenly become breakfast and gym Buddies. She's got some kind of ulterior motive.
Girl you could not be more correct.
A parade of red flags.
Now they go workout at the gym together
Going on vacation together.
No boundaries around this relationship.
Because he likes the attention. He likes that she gives him hugs and kisses every day - in fact, if she doesn't, then he gets so worried that means that she isn't feeling well because he's reasoned that those hugs and kisses just mean she is happy.
He is willfully ignorant because he LIKES the relationship he is building with her, and he is uncomfortable that everyone is poking holes in his reasoning because it means rocking the little boat he is sailing on the river of denial.
You are so right! It’s been obvious from the beginning of OP’s tale that he enjoys this, and it’s leading to the inevitable conclusion. He’s either profoundly stupid or profoundly calculating.
Seriously! I'll join your gym and you can teach me. And he thinks it's great!???...why not have someone who works at the gym teach her?
And, now she kisses him on the cheek every morning. How sweet. Is the wife aware of all of this, I wonder?
You honestly still don’t see it, do you? Waking up early at the same time as you, going to the gym with you and cooking with you. She’s spending an awful lot of time with you. And the difference is she isn’t one of your SILs but your wife’s friend. A friend that has a past going after married men. You sound naive to not at least put down some fucking boundaries with her. I don’t even get why you won’t do that. It’s so stupid. On every post people kept warning you and you refuse to listen. I hope, for your wife’s sake, that Ana doesn’t try anything. But remember that if she does and your marriage dies because of it, you and your unwillingness to handle it, will be the sole fucking reason.
>remember that if she does and your marriage dies because of it, you and your unwillingness to handle it, will be the sole fucking reason.
Tattoo this shit on your eyelids, OP. You're either blind or just like what is happening.
It's going to happen, the mistress will dump him and then he will go crawling back to his wife crying about how he made 'one mistake' and he had 'no idea it was happening'.
This man is not the smooth operator he thinks he is.
5 AM?? 5 in the freaking morning?? Breakfast kisses and hugs before the sun (and your wife) comes up, coffee talks, packing lunches, gym together, pick up kid together. Who exactly are you married to, Sir?
The only time I've ever gotten up at 5 was for a job or an unfortunately timed appointment. She doesnt give af about protein shakes she wants more time for you to ogle her body. Shes going to fucking daycare to pick up your kid with you? No single bitch volunteers to go to a damn daycare for no reason.
She's trying SO hard to spend 1 on 1 time with u, and your daily routines have changed to include her. I doubt either of you try that hard to spend quality time with your roommate- I mean WIFE- ya know, her "friend"?
You two have caught feelings and you are lying to yourself, your wife, and everyone else here. This is an emotional affair. Kick her out of your life before your wife boots you both to the curb for playing house in front of her. Yall disrespectful af.
Oh sure... this is going to end well.
We won't do the immediate attack head on because he won't fall for that.
So we do the slow build.
A little bit here.
A little more there.
As soon as she gets her own place, things are going to change.
I don't understand how people can not see what it happening in front of their eyes.
Poor dude is going to be in her bed and wondering what happened.
Right? She gets her own place and then needs his help with something… time and again. Then she gets scared because she thought she heard an intruder. Can he come over so she feels safe? She just happens to be wearing lingerie and have a bunch of candles lit…
Definitely. Then he'll accidentally slip and fall on top of her. We all see the train wreck in slow motion, he's just too stupid to listen. Anna needs a new sugar daddy
He’s loving the attention while justifying that it’s all ok because nothings really happening because he views her like a sil while preferring her as better than the sil and his wife seems ok with it on the rare occasions he sees her after waking up with ana, going to the gym with ana….
Getting a stock of popcorn ready for the next update
He's not wondering what happened. He knows. He's playing pathological lying games on himself and everyone else in order to have an affair. Using weaponized incompetence to slowly have an affair. I guarantee he's at the gym flirting and touching and all of that. Men are trash.
I'm not going to agree that all men are trash, because mine isn't. However I know lots of trash men and some of them behave like this.
Wide eyed - How as I to know she wanted me?
But he's going to play the "I don't know what happened." when his wife catches them.
I have no dog in this fight and I’m wildly uncomfortable with how much Ana has inserted herself into your life and your daily routine and how you have let her do so. It does not come across as innocent, she has NO reason to hug or kiss you ever. Why is the apartment hunting a “we” thing? Why are you talking down about your wife’s relatives to this person? Why are you spending so much of your time every day with this woman?
You are having an emotional affair with this woman. And it is not gonna take much for it to turn physical and you will be back here saying you have no idea how this happened.
You need to get back to doing these things with your wife and this woman needs to not be part of your life or you will be very sorry in the end. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she is playing the long game.
ETA: Ohhhh. And now reading previous posts, I see Ana has gone after married men before! Omg. You really can’t be this clueless?
I’m kind of blown away by how his wife is totally cool with all of this. It sounds like Ana is basically becoming her sister wife. Maybe that’s the plan 🥴
A hug and a kiss depending on the culture/environment you grew up in doesn’t have to be a big deal. The constant time spent together with your wife’s friend is.
Maybe OP skipped the part where his wife is also spending a lot of time with her actual friend and not leaving it all to her husband, but if he didn’t… the fuck? Why does it sound like OP is the one responsible for emotionally building her up and he’s totally ok with it?
It just all seems… off.
The more you think on it, the more ways you find the whole situation is fucked up. I understand you can be blind to a lot of obvious things in the thick of it, but holy shit. The lack of self awareness is ridiculous here.
"How do I get my wife to stop being jealous when she encouraged me to befriend her friend" "Why is my wife upset that I'm helping her friend" "My wife is accusing me of an emotional affair because I'm going to the gym with our friend" "My wife's friend kissed me again but this time I felt a connection, should I tell my wife" "My wife is suddenly insecure that I'm bettering myself" "My wife's friend sat on my lap should I tell my wife" "My wife's friend is wearing more revealing clothes at the gym" "My wife's friend is there for me more than my wife" 😂 ohhh lawd.
The more I read the more obvious it is that she has targeted you.
She wakes up with you everyday and spends quiet time with you without your wife, she’s joined your gym and you spend at least 3-hours daily (21-hours weekly) recreationally with Ana.
How much time are you spending recreationally with your wife?
I think you know this is an emotional affair. I think you want to pretend it’s not so you can continue with your bullshit.
Ana’s plan is working perfectly. Soon you’ll be her affair partner then you’ll be her boyfriend then you’ll be divorced.
She’s not even subtle. You know exact what’s going on. You knew from your first post. You are a shitty person and your wife doesn’t deserve this. She helped a friend and that friend is stabbing her in the back and you are aiding her in doing so.
You know what you’re doing. It’s a choice. You think if you say she’s like your sister then we will believe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re lying to yourself.
Stop spending so much time with Ana, and she needs to get out of your house. Her behaviour is deliberate. You are a fool, who likes the attention she’s showing you. Remember she is already adept at starting affairs and from reading Reddit, this is how they all start.
Does no one else find it weird that everything change when he seen her top less and the next morning she hug a kiss him. Op is in denial and they are already having a emotional affair. It’s going to turn physical soon.
Info:
Sooooo do you spend any time with your wife? All you did was talk about how you spend every morning coffee and your gym sessions with Ana.
Just don’t ignore your wife because you’re having a fawn trauma response to her friend.
The way OP is only responding to the comments praising him and not the ones calling out Anna trying to intergrate herself in his life is very telling tbh
Tbh I don’t have sympathy for OP's wife either. I mean she supports her morally loose friend and gives her shelter in her house and expects that the friend will not make any moves on her husband? She supports a homewrecker and will get the consequences of it soon.
I'm feeling it's fake. OP's wife knows Ana chases after married men. Ana kissed her husband, and she didn't get upset but smiled instead? Op's wife is also just ok with Ana, now spending more and more time with her husband and integrating herself into their lives?
I'm just being skeptical and don't trust OP or Ana one bit.
Next update: Ana gets a new place and job. She ends up not going on trip with OPs wife and then when wife is gone, he and Ana have an “encounter” at the gym or somewhere else.
At this point I’m really hoping this is all fake…
I’d say your NTA since you told your wife etc
But let’s be honest here, you really can’t see that Anna is getting far to close?
I know your also enjoying the extra attention, ask yourself 1 thing, when Anna leaves will you feel sad and lonely? If the answer is yes, then you’re far too close to her.
Sounds more like an emotional affair to me.
But did he really though? He specifically said he needed to spin in to try and put it in a good light which means he knows how wrong and inappropriate it was and how it would upset and hurt his wife.
you and Ana might as well be the perfect little family with yall going to the gym and picking up your son. your poor wife is probably screaming on the inside unsure of what to do. her shady best friend who has a history of going after married is working on her current target, *you*, OP.
I doubt this is a final update. I just hope we read one where the wife left this whole mess and poor, poor OP is left alone because he ain't married, so why would Ana stick around?
I'm going to put this the most polite way I can. You might be the dumbest breathing person currently on this planet.
All of what you said about her waking up with you and joining he gym made it worse. You having to "spin" it shows your own lies and deceit. Your a POS and I feel terrible for your wife.
YTA-Yeah, you're full-on entertaining Ana's interest in you. You did not tell your wife Anaa was topless when she hugged you and kissed your cheek. You"put a positive spin" on a not positive interaction. In the comments here you make a remark about not slipping. There'd be no reason to say that if you weren't aware this is wrong. Admit it you're a cheater looking for a time to cheat with a woman who is known to go after married men.
>I told her that I am glad she finally looks happy and is returning back to her old self and how proud I am of my wife that she is such a kind-hearted person who helped a friend in need
Dude you are absolutely fucking pathetic. Get a grip. You need a serious reality check here. This is just sad.
Did everyone here just decide to lose their collective minds or something? OP knows what's going on, hell I bet he's even hoping for it and trying to discreetly encourage it. Lets point out some red flags on OP's side and not focus on Ana so much. This is after reading all three posts consecutively.
TLDR: OP is hoping he gets to sleep with Ana at some point and IMO using all these posts as a back up to his wife if he gets caught, "like see honey I told all these strangers on the internet what was happening and they helped me make decisions". Or its completely made up.
-OP said he stared at Ana when she walked in topless. Not saw and then covered his face in embarrassment, but stared until finally turning away, Ana also didn't rush to cover her self, he said the entire incident took 2 minutes that's a long time to be standing in a room with a woman not your wife while she doesn't have a shirt on.
-OP describes Ana as having model level looks and body "Miss USA Pretty" I believe he described her as.
-OP has a story ready to go about how Ana was completely innocent while his wife was gone. Yet she did behaviors that she didn't normally do (come watch movies with him). He effectively leaves out if she continued this behavior after the wife got home.
-OP tells us he was uncomfortable with seeing Ana topless but tells his wife that it was just an innocent mistake.
-OP finds out Ana has been "the other woman" before and is even unsure if her ex was actually abusive. It doesn't seem like he's shared those thoughts with his wife.
-After OP has at the urging of this sub ratted out Ana to his wife (after Ana asks him not to tell), they have a discussion, he defends Ana's honor. Now all of the sudden she is coming down and giving OP big hugs and kissing him on the cheek. Hey OP how does it feel having Ana's body pressed against yours every morning?
-Ana asks OP to go to gym and they work out together 3 days a week. Doesn't sound like OP's wife is involved in this.
-He tells us how Ana is always complimenting him about how great of a husband he is.
-OP started comparing Ana to Wife's sisters with a positive spin, basically saying I don't see you as family like I do my in-laws.
-OP basically makes it sound like he was the knight in shining armor that Ana needed to get her life together. Now she is less depressed and motivated and looking for an apartment specifically nearby, but is she going to date. No way, she's going to stay single.
OP knows exactly what is going on and hoping to or planning to sleep with Ana. I can see it now. She moves out and they go to the gym together and Ana invites him into her apartment for a "protein shake" , then proceeds to tell him how amazing he's been while making 'fuck me' eyes.
Yall gave him the idea to cheat so now he's just going to let it happen. "It was a mistake!!!" Like his dick just fell into her ....
I hope his wife throws them both out. Op likes the attention.
Op, you are blind. You claimed you weren’t good looking and women don’t fall for you. Now you have a dime piece giving you all the attention which you are loving and never got. Wake up before you ruin your own marriage…This has too many red flags
Inb4:
*Post-final update: My wife thinks I cheated on her because she caught me having sex with her friend, but I told her its not cheating because I view her friend as a SIL and was just helping her out. AITA?*
Come on OP.
You took a break from Reddit because you don't want to admit how much of a ticking time bomb you're making at the expense of your wife.
YTA. You are either planning to cheat while claiming it just happened or completely oblivious to reality. Either way, when you sleep with Anna, I hope your wife destroys you financially in the divorce.
I hope things remain platonic between OP and Ana. Often times on Reddit, things seem innocent and resolved until we get an update about 'mistakes' and 'it was only one time' especially with the increased alone time happening between the two. 🤞that this won't be the case.
Right.
She now wakes up the exact same time as OP to have coffee and alone time with him. (Edit: I forgot the daily morning hug, too)
She joins the same gym as OP and attends at the same time and is showing interest in the things he is.
She is renting in the suburbs near OP and his wife.
Boundaries seem a little blurred here. If I didn’t know, I would think he was describing his partner/someone he was dating.
Hopefully this is as far as it goes with the two of them.
I wouldn't be surprised if she finds a new job and is no longer able to go on trip with OP's wife and child, leaving Ana and OP alone with one another.
I don't think we were expecting this outcome,but I'll be honest, this is a wonderful outcome.
Im.tired of wife's best friends and her husbands having affairs.
I'm so happy that this worked out.
This truly made me smile.
The Latino culture hugs and gives cheek kisses. That is our way of greeting and saying goodbye. We mainly do it to friends and family or when we are being introduced to people.
However, we certainly do not try to get close to someone else’s husband such as joining them for coffee and chatting, cooking along or waking up when they do just to spend time. AND we do not become gym buddies with someone else’s husband unless that puta is trying to steal said husband.
I would NEVER do that sort of stuff with someone else’s man. Be cautious with her because no one walks around topless in somebody else’s home unless they are trying to do something shady. 🚩
I bet she will not end up going on that vacation with your wife to her in laws and tbh it sounds like you are allowing the beginnings of an affair to happen. It’s not necessary to hug your best friend’s husband every morning when you see them in the kitchen. Not to mention you two have a morning routine together now. The closer you two are getting is aligning with her self esteem improving it sounds like which would be totally fine if you were not a married man to her best friend.
Of course you should tell your wife everything. Everything. There should never be any doubt or secrets between the two of you because you are traveling through a hard and difficult road together and need each others help and trust at all times.
Anyone else feel like he’s trying to manipulate the reader here like he did his wife? He put this sibling spin on it when it reality he has a second partner built into the home? I read it and I just can’t shake the vibe he is fooling us and the truth is that others were all right and he’s now banging the friend, but just hiding it really well by keeping his wife complacent with false reassurance. I guess I’m just jaded af. 🤣
Bahahahaha I can’t wait for the next final update when your marriage has fallen apart. That woman is working on you and you are affirming her efforts. Best case, you manage to open your eyes before she escalates things past the point of no return. Worst case, you sleep with this woman. Middle case, she manages to spin something you did in such a way that she breaks up your marriage so she can really get at you.
You’re a dumby, this woman is not a friend to you or your wife. She is a snake hiding in the grass you provided her.
This is great OP. Just be careful. There’s still some red flags here. She wakes up early every morning so she can hang out with you - private coffee time and early morning chats, she joined your gym and asked for your help, and she wants to stay close despite knowing it will hinder dating prospects. It sounds like she’s making excuses to spend a lot of time with you and to get closer to you. Be careful. It might be innocent but this is a slippery slope. Maybe now that she’s doing better you should cut back on private time with her.
There's a fine line between a confidant and "good" friend, and an emotional affair. I hope both of them know where to draw their boundaries, and respect each other's relationships.
It's great Ana has got back on her feet, still I think you shouldn't gloss over your wife's initial reaction and concerns to Ana's presence even if she has herself because she has known her a lot longer than you.
That being said is she your permanent gym partner now or is that just until she's settled into gym life?
Given that she's looking to live locally where she knows no one else and its quite suburban, how will she find a potential partner and support network outside of you and your wife?
The steps she is taking don't signal independence at all. Stay friendly but be smart OP.
I think it sounds like Ana is very open to cheating with you (she stayed in the room topless for like 2 minutes rather than quickly running out, the next day kisses you on the cheek, wants to go to the gym with you, wake up with you, etc), and you should really protect your marriage by ensuring that you're not even getting close to that possibility. Keep everything totally above board with your wife. To be honest, you sound a bit foolish for not realizing what's going on.
Surprised your wife is okay with all that (the coffee, the gym, the personal trainer thing) after being so suspicious. I am afraid this might not stay stable for long but good luck!
It sounds like you might be slowly falling for her and lying to yourself through it.
The way you tell this story makes it obvious that you know exactly what you are doing. You are walking a fine line and I’m honestly surprised it’s gone on this long.
Think about what you are doing. Consider your wife and son. Stop your morning coffee dates. Let Ana move out. Find a new gym.
Unless you like having her in your life and don’t want to let go. Unless there’s deeper attachment then you’re willing to let on.
Wow this entire post made me so uncomfortable. I don't care how you chose to view ana but she isn't a friend to your wife. She has inserted herself in places she has absolutely no business being in and you allowed it. I promise you this is not positive and will not end positively.
Hey, this'll probably get buried/downvoted, but I'm proud of you, OP! You handled an awkward situation really well. I was worried the comments on your last update were getting in your head and convincing you to do something dumb. Good on you for signing off and letting your better judgement prevail. You're a good husband and a good friend. Wishing you all continued happiness :)
You cant see it but this is the start of the end of your marriage.
And your wife is behaving stupidly and trying to be the cool wife or some shit.
Shut this shit down, man
It's wonderful that she's doing better but, the lines are becoming blurred. Mind yourself, OP. Your marriage and your wife's friendship sounds at risk. This all sounds incredibly inappropriate. It would strain my marriage for sure tbh.
My bf would never disrespect me like this, going to the gym 3-4 times a week with another woman, waking up with her, having coffee...
Update us when your wife leaves ok?
Ana testing the waters on a sneaky yet innocent appearance level.
OOP has no idea that he's spending quality time with his wife's alleged BFF. This is a disaster in the making. Ana's gonna shoot her shot at OOP soon enough.
Next updates are gonna be...Ana asked me to help her move into her new apartment....lol
But ya all, they made wife breakfast. Wife don't need the gym or like protein..icky.
Someone has to be around for the kid while Op and Ana have coffee, am dates, gym dates , and geek out together over Protein.
Op, when do you have date nights or family time??
So I just read his last post, and he’s an AH. By his own account, he’s an average looking guy that would never have a chance with a woman like Ana (miss USA level pretty) and he’s loving the possibility of it. He’s playing SO dumb. What I don’t understand is his wife, why is she playing herself like this?
I’m sorry. You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen. I mean if your intention is to have an emotional and or physical with your wife’s friend you’re on the right track.. there’s no man in this world that’s truly as dense as this.
Your wife was upset when her friend was topless in front of you but not upset that she's all but taking over as your wife?
1. Gets up with you and greets you with a hug, daily
2. Prepares breakfast with you, daily
3. Fixes lunches with you, daily
4. Has you looking at apartments with her
5. Has inserted herself into your life outside of the house
Yup nothing to see here /s
Next update will be that you "accidentally" cheated on your wife with her friend.
I might be reading a little too much Reddit lately but I get the feeling Ana is weaving her way into your life. I don’t understand why not keeping her at arms length regardless. I think you might like the attention.
I'm glad things are working out for Anna. From your most recent post, it seems as if you are now spending more time with Anna versus your own wife. I'm sure you enjoy her company, but the grass grows where you water it. You might want to reinvest that time and energy into your wife and marriage. Again, the sooner she moves out, the better.
dude, geeking out on the same stuff, GYM...stop this shit and be a good husband. good person. kick the scorpion out of your bed, or you ll destroy your family. wake the fuck up. you're finding excuses to build your relationship with this woman. This is when I wish Reddit could warn the other person, of your emotional affair.
Yikes, this just got worse. Now she’s like your side chick, joining the gym, waking up the same times, hugging and cheek kissing, taking your son together. This is turning into an emotional affair at this point. Not sure how you don’t see this…that’s a lot of time to just spend alone with each other. Why are you letting her tag a long so much?
NTA. As long as OP's wife is aware of things and okay with what happen, it isn't "cheating" at least not in the way some people are playing it up. People are implying and acuseing OP of doing more, but there isn't anything so explicit or problematic. If OP were doing more, and was doing something inappropriately he probably wouldn't have posted an update.
You’re being manipulated. Overt acts didn’t work and now she’s waking up early to be with you when your wife isn’t around. Shes going to the gym with you, where you’ll both be minimally clothed and sweaty. You and your wife are getting played, and when she kisses you, you need to kick her out. You should do that before it happens, but you clearly won’t.
This sub is so fucking jaded lol, y'all are a sad bunch, and would literaly crumble to pieces in places like Europe where social norms arent EXACTLY like how you would expect them in your own house. Touch grass folks.
Does the OP think we are stupid? Maybe his wife bought all his bs but this chicky right here knows better! Of course he put a little twist on the hugging kissing part. The two of them are getting up early and spending time together while his wife is sleeping! What a wiener he is!
I hope this is fake.
Ana is a home wrecker.
This man is either incredibly naive or in denial about his emotional affair.
God I hope this isn’t real. That poor wife.
In Spanish speaking cultures. You hug and kiss lightly on each check every time you greet someone. You can see them at 0800 and again at 1400 and it’s the same ritual. But I am still very suspicious. OP is a jerk
You are an idiot.
Another woman lives with you, has started waking up at 5:00 AM just to spend time alone with you in the morning, have coffee, and make lunches. She greets you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She joined your gym so she can work out with you in the evenings, before both of you pick up the kids. She’s playing the role of wife, putting down roots in your heart, and carving out a regular schedule with you.
She should have been making this effort with YOUR WIFE, not you.
You cannot possibly be this stupid.
If you provide an update it will be that you never meant for this to happen, but you unexpectedly fell for her, had sex, got her pregnant, filed for divorce, and are house hunting with Ana. You will claim you never intended for this to happen.
Man this shit is gonna end so badly. Why are you “trying” to act naive as if you don’t see her trying to get close to you in a personal way. The hugs, kisses, waking up every morning at 5AM with you and having coffee, going to the gym together 3-4 times a week. It sounds like y’all spend more time together then you and you wife. Smh you ain’t fool nobody, this definitely a emotional affair about to turn physical 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dude are you blind??? She’s inserting herself in your life and going out of her way to be more involved with YOU specifically. You better get your head in the game and RESPECT YOUR WIFE and tell her what’s going on. Or maybe you’re not being honest with yourself about how much you actually want this.
In that case I feel awful for your wife.
If this works out for you guys, that's great. For me it's such huge red flag, that she wakes up same time as you, joined the same gym as you and want's to spend a lot of time with you plus is looking at places to rent near you. Maybe it's because I've seen too many stories like that end in a horrible way. Again, if it works out for you guys it's great, to me it's one red flag after another and seems like a start of something fishy.
Glad I wasn’t the only one. It sounds like they are dating now. I found the whole thing full of inappropriate red flags too.
Yeah why in the world do you need to hug every morning?
When he moves into the apartment with Ana his wife is going to be very confused.
Right!? Like wtf is really going on? Are we just being taken for a ride? If so then great. Well done on you got us ,🤣
100%. Totally dating. It sounds like he spends more time with Ana than he does his wife. He never once mentioned the time he spends with his wife.
Go back to the other post and how he talks about Ana's looks and his wife's looks.
🤢 I regret doing that. OP is a blind idiot, openly cheating on his wife with her best friend 🤦🏼♀️
Oh he's not blind, but he's definitely an idiot. He knows what he's doing.
He's not blind OR an idiot. He's getting everything he wants right out in the open
He’s not stupid. But plays one on TV. He knows what he’s doing.
Bingo. This is exactly how I read it.
Yup. I'm gonna wait a few months before OP posts an update about Ana making a move on him and his wife ending the friendship, and him feeling guilty.
he wont tell his wife. Ana will. and the wife will start putting two and two together and leave OP
Then OP will act like a victim.
Yeah, I kiss one person and we're married. Well, two if you count my cat. But he's such a good small boy.
Hugging and kissing is normal in certain cultures, especially in Spanish speaking ones like the name Ana indicates. I tried to hug and kiss a Polish coworker goodbye this weekend and I'm still cringing and mortified by it, but that's just how you say goodbye in my country.
That sounds about right. I'm polish and you should expect death stares and not hugs and kisses while saying goodbye (or good morning or million other things)
In my defence, the three coworkers who had left before had initiated the hug and kiss themselves, although we were all women and he was the only guy. And in almost four years I've found Polish people super warm and affectionate!
>And in almost four years I've found Polish people super warm and affectionate When you get to know them. Polish people usually are distanced at first but when we're comfortable with someone we open up pretty quickly.
Look, if you did not kiss your cat I'd be very disappointed - he deserves all the kisses 😻
Heres what I think he's misrepresented just from the last paragraph. Latino people do the cheek kiss for family or close friends. They don't full on smooch the cheek, they kind of "miss" intentionally and make a kiss sound. The only people who smooch you flat on the face are grateful people, parents, or grandparents.
Kisses on the cheek are nothing! And it’s definitely common as a greeting in my circles even in business settings. I live in Florida and work with people from all over the country. Why do so many people sexualize this?
That wasn't the weird part. Some people are like that, ok. Now she's his every free moment bff and nobody is weirded out by it
Yeah, a kiss on the cheek as a greeting or farewell is pretty normalized in my circle of friends.
Different cultures do different things.
That's true, but it was clearly odd enough that it brought up questions here. So that is the context we're dealing with.
I think it was odd enough for OP because he's not from the same culture, but it's definitely in our culture (Latino/hispanic). Now, as we live the USA we've learned to adapt to different cultures, but in OP he's married to one so Ana may feel he's already used to some of our ways. The fact that he openly brought to the incident with Ana and wife (without making a big deal) may have helped Ana feel more comfortable with him and the family dynamic and allow her to be more herself. But anyways, it's not odd for us (Latinos/Hispanic) to kiss and hugs friends and acquaintance, it's our way of saying hi and bye or good morning and good night. We also say "mi amor" or "corazón" to friends and acquaintance of any gender, not just our partners. For reference, I'm from Puerto Rico. So for us it's pretty typical, same DR, Cuba, etc.
OP is setting up the story for his next post on how he and Anna fell in love. How that innocent kiss "led one thing to another". 🙄
Yup any time you feel like you should tell your s/o something. IMO you should. He knew his wife would be unhappy about it and thats why he felt nervous. That feeling tells you everything you need to know. It might have been 100% innocent. But given the context of the situation. Im telling my wife. I love my wife to death. She comes first in life above all else. I would rather be honest and cause an issue with my wifes friend as awful as the situation she was in is. Than not tell my wife and cause an issue with my wife. I understand it is a cultural thing. But we have 2 possible worst case scenarios. I tell my wife and she blows up at the friend. But my relationship with my wife is not at risk. I dont tell my wife. She finds out and gets mad at me and it puts our relationship at risk. Im 10000% of the time picking the former. If you get that feeling its because you know better. Thats just me.
Hiding what very well have been innocent (like the sister and the pool) is a time bomb waiting to happen. Ana is up to something and it's only a matter of time before she tells wife and embellishes what happened. Then she will be a convenient titty to cry on.
But they're already making a pretty big sacrifice with Ana moving nearby: no more Good Morning hug.
Topless?
The kisses slowly move westward.
How much you wanna bet Anna finds a way to stay home with OP while wife and son go away to in-laws?
Same! I was like so you’re all polyamorous and in some sort of triad situation?? This seems super suspect to me as well. Ana gets up with him in the morning, cooks with him, kisses him and joined his gym so they can workout together. Ana has no plans to move out. OP doesn’t want her to leave. “Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean…”
what OP does/gets from anna: morning hug and kiss, morning wake up/breakfast routine, gym time, spending time with son, cooking dinner he spends the whole day with anna, except (maybe) night/sleep time but yes, anna is like OP wife's sister (or maybe a sister wife but OP made a typo lol)
I’ve been on Reddit for so long and I’ve noticed how everything goes down hill once they start going to the gym as “friends”
Is he not getting it? Or he wants the attention. For me, it will be a red flag.
I felt uncomfortable reading how much she’s inserted herself in your life. There’s still red flags waving and you’re either stupidly oblivious or you’re enjoying the attention that you choose to be oblivious.
The more I read, the more it made me think of the movie "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle".
Rebecca De Mornay was so terrifying in that movie it seemed to have cost her a varied career. Mrs. Mott scared me more than Pennywise, or Freddy, or whatever other fantastical monsters. Apt comparison. OOP’s houseguest keeps not only inserting but ingratiating herself.
Why is the potential or obvious potential AP always an Ana? 😂 gosh OP, this reminds me of another recent post and the dude ended up leaving his wife for 'Ana' and eventually came to regret it. All the signs that she was coming onto him were there in his first post asking about his wife, just like yours. Your positive spin is egging this woman on and she's going to attach herself to you because she's emotionally vulnerable. I'll see you in a few months. RemindMe! 1 month
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> Most of you were reading my post as a telenovela or a start of a porn movie and the comments were really not helping calm me down. Never change, reddit. Never change.
Ana goes after married men, too. Check the post history.
I accidentally saw my bbf/like a sister's husband naked once. We quickly whispered to never speak of it. That was the end of it. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it. We were already close friends too but we didn't suddenly become breakfast and gym Buddies. She's got some kind of ulterior motive.
He's more than happy to accommodate her. He's not oblivious, y'all. He's feigning ignorance to look like 'the good guy' for as long as possible
Girl you could not be more correct. A parade of red flags. Now they go workout at the gym together Going on vacation together. No boundaries around this relationship.
This is some fatal attraction BS happening here.
Saaame. Ana thinks she’s sly but boy she ain’t.
Hey, now OP has morning-coffee-and-gym wife in addition to OG wife. It's all good.
bwhahaha he doubled down and now even goes out with her to the gym almost every day. Jesus Christ.
Because he likes the attention. He likes that she gives him hugs and kisses every day - in fact, if she doesn't, then he gets so worried that means that she isn't feeling well because he's reasoned that those hugs and kisses just mean she is happy. He is willfully ignorant because he LIKES the relationship he is building with her, and he is uncomfortable that everyone is poking holes in his reasoning because it means rocking the little boat he is sailing on the river of denial.
Bingo! He knows exactly what he's doing. He's a cheating, lying, pos, who needs a good chopping.
Can't self rationalize that he's not supporting a budding emotional affair if everyone is pointing out the flaw in the arguments he's telling himself.
You are so right! It’s been obvious from the beginning of OP’s tale that he enjoys this, and it’s leading to the inevitable conclusion. He’s either profoundly stupid or profoundly calculating.
Seriously! I'll join your gym and you can teach me. And he thinks it's great!???...why not have someone who works at the gym teach her? And, now she kisses him on the cheek every morning. How sweet. Is the wife aware of all of this, I wonder?
Her daily protein intake is something they enjoy talking about.
How dumb can a wife be?
I think the Prophet Enimnen can predict what is going to happen next. Op will write an update where she tripped, fell, landed on *his dick*?
You honestly still don’t see it, do you? Waking up early at the same time as you, going to the gym with you and cooking with you. She’s spending an awful lot of time with you. And the difference is she isn’t one of your SILs but your wife’s friend. A friend that has a past going after married men. You sound naive to not at least put down some fucking boundaries with her. I don’t even get why you won’t do that. It’s so stupid. On every post people kept warning you and you refuse to listen. I hope, for your wife’s sake, that Ana doesn’t try anything. But remember that if she does and your marriage dies because of it, you and your unwillingness to handle it, will be the sole fucking reason.
>remember that if she does and your marriage dies because of it, you and your unwillingness to handle it, will be the sole fucking reason. Tattoo this shit on your eyelids, OP. You're either blind or just like what is happening.
Especially with this mountain of redditors warning you.
This guy is talking himself into having an affair smh
It's going to happen, the mistress will dump him and then he will go crawling back to his wife crying about how he made 'one mistake' and he had 'no idea it was happening'. This man is not the smooth operator he thinks he is.
This is exactly it
Absolutely what he is doing and I think he knows it lol
5 AM?? 5 in the freaking morning?? Breakfast kisses and hugs before the sun (and your wife) comes up, coffee talks, packing lunches, gym together, pick up kid together. Who exactly are you married to, Sir? The only time I've ever gotten up at 5 was for a job or an unfortunately timed appointment. She doesnt give af about protein shakes she wants more time for you to ogle her body. Shes going to fucking daycare to pick up your kid with you? No single bitch volunteers to go to a damn daycare for no reason. She's trying SO hard to spend 1 on 1 time with u, and your daily routines have changed to include her. I doubt either of you try that hard to spend quality time with your roommate- I mean WIFE- ya know, her "friend"? You two have caught feelings and you are lying to yourself, your wife, and everyone else here. This is an emotional affair. Kick her out of your life before your wife boots you both to the curb for playing house in front of her. Yall disrespectful af.
Oh sure... this is going to end well. We won't do the immediate attack head on because he won't fall for that. So we do the slow build. A little bit here. A little more there. As soon as she gets her own place, things are going to change. I don't understand how people can not see what it happening in front of their eyes. Poor dude is going to be in her bed and wondering what happened.
Right? She gets her own place and then needs his help with something… time and again. Then she gets scared because she thought she heard an intruder. Can he come over so she feels safe? She just happens to be wearing lingerie and have a bunch of candles lit…
Definitely. Then he'll accidentally slip and fall on top of her. We all see the train wreck in slow motion, he's just too stupid to listen. Anna needs a new sugar daddy
He’s loving the attention while justifying that it’s all ok because nothings really happening because he views her like a sil while preferring her as better than the sil and his wife seems ok with it on the rare occasions he sees her after waking up with ana, going to the gym with ana…. Getting a stock of popcorn ready for the next update
He's not wondering what happened. He knows. He's playing pathological lying games on himself and everyone else in order to have an affair. Using weaponized incompetence to slowly have an affair. I guarantee he's at the gym flirting and touching and all of that. Men are trash.
I'm not going to agree that all men are trash, because mine isn't. However I know lots of trash men and some of them behave like this. Wide eyed - How as I to know she wanted me? But he's going to play the "I don't know what happened." when his wife catches them.
I have no dog in this fight and I’m wildly uncomfortable with how much Ana has inserted herself into your life and your daily routine and how you have let her do so. It does not come across as innocent, she has NO reason to hug or kiss you ever. Why is the apartment hunting a “we” thing? Why are you talking down about your wife’s relatives to this person? Why are you spending so much of your time every day with this woman? You are having an emotional affair with this woman. And it is not gonna take much for it to turn physical and you will be back here saying you have no idea how this happened. You need to get back to doing these things with your wife and this woman needs to not be part of your life or you will be very sorry in the end. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she is playing the long game. ETA: Ohhhh. And now reading previous posts, I see Ana has gone after married men before! Omg. You really can’t be this clueless?
I’m kind of blown away by how his wife is totally cool with all of this. It sounds like Ana is basically becoming her sister wife. Maybe that’s the plan 🥴
A hug and a kiss depending on the culture/environment you grew up in doesn’t have to be a big deal. The constant time spent together with your wife’s friend is. Maybe OP skipped the part where his wife is also spending a lot of time with her actual friend and not leaving it all to her husband, but if he didn’t… the fuck? Why does it sound like OP is the one responsible for emotionally building her up and he’s totally ok with it? It just all seems… off.
Did you see his comment where he said he trusts himself not to “slip?” This whole situation is totally weird.
The more you think on it, the more ways you find the whole situation is fucked up. I understand you can be blind to a lot of obvious things in the thick of it, but holy shit. The lack of self awareness is ridiculous here.
Don't walk on slippery slopes if you don't want to slip.
Right? I can already see the update in a few weeks: “She made a move again. I did not see this coming!” How daft is this guy?
This dude is the type to get confused that cars crash at a demolition derby.
"How do I get my wife to stop being jealous when she encouraged me to befriend her friend" "Why is my wife upset that I'm helping her friend" "My wife is accusing me of an emotional affair because I'm going to the gym with our friend" "My wife's friend kissed me again but this time I felt a connection, should I tell my wife" "My wife is suddenly insecure that I'm bettering myself" "My wife's friend sat on my lap should I tell my wife" "My wife's friend is wearing more revealing clothes at the gym" "My wife's friend is there for me more than my wife" 😂 ohhh lawd.
Oh re read those posts and how he comments on Ana's looks versus his wife's. Dudes a moron and disgusting.
Men+attention=clueless
The more I read the more obvious it is that she has targeted you. She wakes up with you everyday and spends quiet time with you without your wife, she’s joined your gym and you spend at least 3-hours daily (21-hours weekly) recreationally with Ana. How much time are you spending recreationally with your wife? I think you know this is an emotional affair. I think you want to pretend it’s not so you can continue with your bullshit. Ana’s plan is working perfectly. Soon you’ll be her affair partner then you’ll be her boyfriend then you’ll be divorced. She’s not even subtle. You know exact what’s going on. You knew from your first post. You are a shitty person and your wife doesn’t deserve this. She helped a friend and that friend is stabbing her in the back and you are aiding her in doing so. You know what you’re doing. It’s a choice. You think if you say she’s like your sister then we will believe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re lying to yourself. Stop spending so much time with Ana, and she needs to get out of your house. Her behaviour is deliberate. You are a fool, who likes the attention she’s showing you. Remember she is already adept at starting affairs and from reading Reddit, this is how they all start.
" update: guys, my wife walked in on me and Ana having sex and I never thought this would happen to me " *Over half of reddit* - CALLED IT!
Does no one else find it weird that everything change when he seen her top less and the next morning she hug a kiss him. Op is in denial and they are already having a emotional affair. It’s going to turn physical soon.
Info: Sooooo do you spend any time with your wife? All you did was talk about how you spend every morning coffee and your gym sessions with Ana. Just don’t ignore your wife because you’re having a fawn trauma response to her friend.
Cool. Will the next update be you fucking Ana?
The way OP is only responding to the comments praising him and not the ones calling out Anna trying to intergrate herself in his life is very telling tbh
Because op is an attention whore. He likes the attention Ana is giving.
Soon it will be a post of OPs wife.
Tbh I don’t have sympathy for OP's wife either. I mean she supports her morally loose friend and gives her shelter in her house and expects that the friend will not make any moves on her husband? She supports a homewrecker and will get the consequences of it soon.
I'm feeling it's fake. OP's wife knows Ana chases after married men. Ana kissed her husband, and she didn't get upset but smiled instead? Op's wife is also just ok with Ana, now spending more and more time with her husband and integrating herself into their lives? I'm just being skeptical and don't trust OP or Ana one bit.
Especially as the wife's reaction to the initial incident was wildly different
Or maybe OP's wife is also cheating.
OPS wife cheating with Ana is the twist this story needs.
Hey give him a break he fucks all his sister in laws
Next update: Ana gets a new place and job. She ends up not going on trip with OPs wife and then when wife is gone, he and Ana have an “encounter” at the gym or somewhere else. At this point I’m really hoping this is all fake…
I’d say your NTA since you told your wife etc But let’s be honest here, you really can’t see that Anna is getting far to close? I know your also enjoying the extra attention, ask yourself 1 thing, when Anna leaves will you feel sad and lonely? If the answer is yes, then you’re far too close to her. Sounds more like an emotional affair to me.
IMO....it does seem like she is trying to get closer to OP...
Most definitely. OP and Anna are spending a LOT of time together
And succeeding.
He told his wife using what he described as "spinning it"
He sees it. He's painting himself as oblivious on reddit so he can use it later if his wife calls him out on it.
But did he really though? He specifically said he needed to spin in to try and put it in a good light which means he knows how wrong and inappropriate it was and how it would upset and hurt his wife.
you and Ana might as well be the perfect little family with yall going to the gym and picking up your son. your poor wife is probably screaming on the inside unsure of what to do. her shady best friend who has a history of going after married is working on her current target, *you*, OP. I doubt this is a final update. I just hope we read one where the wife left this whole mess and poor, poor OP is left alone because he ain't married, so why would Ana stick around?
I remember you! You’re still on track to breaking your marriage. Let us know when Ana asks you to leave your wife
I'm going to put this the most polite way I can. You might be the dumbest breathing person currently on this planet. All of what you said about her waking up with you and joining he gym made it worse. You having to "spin" it shows your own lies and deceit. Your a POS and I feel terrible for your wife.
Bro really thinks that she wants to work out with him In order to “geek out about daily protein intake” together 🤣
Maybe she has a different protein source in mind.
YTA-Yeah, you're full-on entertaining Ana's interest in you. You did not tell your wife Anaa was topless when she hugged you and kissed your cheek. You"put a positive spin" on a not positive interaction. In the comments here you make a remark about not slipping. There'd be no reason to say that if you weren't aware this is wrong. Admit it you're a cheater looking for a time to cheat with a woman who is known to go after married men.
Oh. My. God. You. Are. So. Fucking. Stupid.
>I told her that I am glad she finally looks happy and is returning back to her old self and how proud I am of my wife that she is such a kind-hearted person who helped a friend in need Dude you are absolutely fucking pathetic. Get a grip. You need a serious reality check here. This is just sad.
Yea, helped her friend in need by giving Ana her married man to boost her self esteem and get back on her feet. How kind of OP’s wife to set them up.
So.... when are you going to cheat on your wife?
Probably already has.
Any day now. It’s going to “just happen”
Did everyone here just decide to lose their collective minds or something? OP knows what's going on, hell I bet he's even hoping for it and trying to discreetly encourage it. Lets point out some red flags on OP's side and not focus on Ana so much. This is after reading all three posts consecutively. TLDR: OP is hoping he gets to sleep with Ana at some point and IMO using all these posts as a back up to his wife if he gets caught, "like see honey I told all these strangers on the internet what was happening and they helped me make decisions". Or its completely made up. -OP said he stared at Ana when she walked in topless. Not saw and then covered his face in embarrassment, but stared until finally turning away, Ana also didn't rush to cover her self, he said the entire incident took 2 minutes that's a long time to be standing in a room with a woman not your wife while she doesn't have a shirt on. -OP describes Ana as having model level looks and body "Miss USA Pretty" I believe he described her as. -OP has a story ready to go about how Ana was completely innocent while his wife was gone. Yet she did behaviors that she didn't normally do (come watch movies with him). He effectively leaves out if she continued this behavior after the wife got home. -OP tells us he was uncomfortable with seeing Ana topless but tells his wife that it was just an innocent mistake. -OP finds out Ana has been "the other woman" before and is even unsure if her ex was actually abusive. It doesn't seem like he's shared those thoughts with his wife. -After OP has at the urging of this sub ratted out Ana to his wife (after Ana asks him not to tell), they have a discussion, he defends Ana's honor. Now all of the sudden she is coming down and giving OP big hugs and kissing him on the cheek. Hey OP how does it feel having Ana's body pressed against yours every morning? -Ana asks OP to go to gym and they work out together 3 days a week. Doesn't sound like OP's wife is involved in this. -He tells us how Ana is always complimenting him about how great of a husband he is. -OP started comparing Ana to Wife's sisters with a positive spin, basically saying I don't see you as family like I do my in-laws. -OP basically makes it sound like he was the knight in shining armor that Ana needed to get her life together. Now she is less depressed and motivated and looking for an apartment specifically nearby, but is she going to date. No way, she's going to stay single. OP knows exactly what is going on and hoping to or planning to sleep with Ana. I can see it now. She moves out and they go to the gym together and Ana invites him into her apartment for a "protein shake" , then proceeds to tell him how amazing he's been while making 'fuck me' eyes.
Yall gave him the idea to cheat so now he's just going to let it happen. "It was a mistake!!!" Like his dick just fell into her .... I hope his wife throws them both out. Op likes the attention.
Hence, the close by apartment. Duh. So they can still see his kid.
Op, you are blind. You claimed you weren’t good looking and women don’t fall for you. Now you have a dime piece giving you all the attention which you are loving and never got. Wake up before you ruin your own marriage…This has too many red flags
This is ridiculous. ***YOU*** are being ridiculous. But good luck. Hopefully it doesn't blow up in your face like all of us are anticipating.
Next update: my wife says I'm having an affair with Ana but I don't see how considering the only thing we haven't done is have sex.
Inb4: *Post-final update: My wife thinks I cheated on her because she caught me having sex with her friend, but I told her its not cheating because I view her friend as a SIL and was just helping her out. AITA?* Come on OP. You took a break from Reddit because you don't want to admit how much of a ticking time bomb you're making at the expense of your wife.
Lol. Dudes a compulsive lair. He was posting on r/hyperlexia 11 days ago 😂
Mate, your wife is going to see through this clueless act eventually. Or you genuinely are that stupid, which is worrying.
YTA. You are either planning to cheat while claiming it just happened or completely oblivious to reality. Either way, when you sleep with Anna, I hope your wife destroys you financially in the divorce.
I hope things remain platonic between OP and Ana. Often times on Reddit, things seem innocent and resolved until we get an update about 'mistakes' and 'it was only one time' especially with the increased alone time happening between the two. 🤞that this won't be the case.
Right. She now wakes up the exact same time as OP to have coffee and alone time with him. (Edit: I forgot the daily morning hug, too) She joins the same gym as OP and attends at the same time and is showing interest in the things he is. She is renting in the suburbs near OP and his wife. Boundaries seem a little blurred here. If I didn’t know, I would think he was describing his partner/someone he was dating. Hopefully this is as far as it goes with the two of them.
I wouldn't be surprised if she finds a new job and is no longer able to go on trip with OP's wife and child, leaving Ana and OP alone with one another.
Joining the gym and asking HIM for assistance with the resistance training, even though the gym has personal training!
I don't think we were expecting this outcome,but I'll be honest, this is a wonderful outcome. Im.tired of wife's best friends and her husbands having affairs. I'm so happy that this worked out. This truly made me smile.
He's literally having an emotional affair.
The Latino culture hugs and gives cheek kisses. That is our way of greeting and saying goodbye. We mainly do it to friends and family or when we are being introduced to people. However, we certainly do not try to get close to someone else’s husband such as joining them for coffee and chatting, cooking along or waking up when they do just to spend time. AND we do not become gym buddies with someone else’s husband unless that puta is trying to steal said husband. I would NEVER do that sort of stuff with someone else’s man. Be cautious with her because no one walks around topless in somebody else’s home unless they are trying to do something shady. 🚩
“She kissed me on the cheek” “she miss America level pretty” “we work out together 4 times per week”. LOL.
tldr: I just decided to be content about the extra tits I get to see and everyone is much happier.
I bet she will not end up going on that vacation with your wife to her in laws and tbh it sounds like you are allowing the beginnings of an affair to happen. It’s not necessary to hug your best friend’s husband every morning when you see them in the kitchen. Not to mention you two have a morning routine together now. The closer you two are getting is aligning with her self esteem improving it sounds like which would be totally fine if you were not a married man to her best friend.
Of course you should tell your wife everything. Everything. There should never be any doubt or secrets between the two of you because you are traveling through a hard and difficult road together and need each others help and trust at all times.
Anyone else feel like he’s trying to manipulate the reader here like he did his wife? He put this sibling spin on it when it reality he has a second partner built into the home? I read it and I just can’t shake the vibe he is fooling us and the truth is that others were all right and he’s now banging the friend, but just hiding it really well by keeping his wife complacent with false reassurance. I guess I’m just jaded af. 🤣
Ummmmmm this is red flag city
Bahahahaha I can’t wait for the next final update when your marriage has fallen apart. That woman is working on you and you are affirming her efforts. Best case, you manage to open your eyes before she escalates things past the point of no return. Worst case, you sleep with this woman. Middle case, she manages to spin something you did in such a way that she breaks up your marriage so she can really get at you. You’re a dumby, this woman is not a friend to you or your wife. She is a snake hiding in the grass you provided her.
Congrats, you're having an affair, aren't listening to anyone here and are acting dumb about it. You even said she goes after married men!
This is great OP. Just be careful. There’s still some red flags here. She wakes up early every morning so she can hang out with you - private coffee time and early morning chats, she joined your gym and asked for your help, and she wants to stay close despite knowing it will hinder dating prospects. It sounds like she’s making excuses to spend a lot of time with you and to get closer to you. Be careful. It might be innocent but this is a slippery slope. Maybe now that she’s doing better you should cut back on private time with her.
"and loves spending time with our son."
There's a fine line between a confidant and "good" friend, and an emotional affair. I hope both of them know where to draw their boundaries, and respect each other's relationships.
It's great Ana has got back on her feet, still I think you shouldn't gloss over your wife's initial reaction and concerns to Ana's presence even if she has herself because she has known her a lot longer than you. That being said is she your permanent gym partner now or is that just until she's settled into gym life? Given that she's looking to live locally where she knows no one else and its quite suburban, how will she find a potential partner and support network outside of you and your wife? The steps she is taking don't signal independence at all. Stay friendly but be smart OP.
Bruh yta you sound like such a goddam moron
You are playing stupid on purpose. Its tiresome.
It seems like she looking to be a couple
I think it sounds like Ana is very open to cheating with you (she stayed in the room topless for like 2 minutes rather than quickly running out, the next day kisses you on the cheek, wants to go to the gym with you, wake up with you, etc), and you should really protect your marriage by ensuring that you're not even getting close to that possibility. Keep everything totally above board with your wife. To be honest, you sound a bit foolish for not realizing what's going on.
Surprised your wife is okay with all that (the coffee, the gym, the personal trainer thing) after being so suspicious. I am afraid this might not stay stable for long but good luck! It sounds like you might be slowly falling for her and lying to yourself through it.
The way you tell this story makes it obvious that you know exactly what you are doing. You are walking a fine line and I’m honestly surprised it’s gone on this long. Think about what you are doing. Consider your wife and son. Stop your morning coffee dates. Let Ana move out. Find a new gym. Unless you like having her in your life and don’t want to let go. Unless there’s deeper attachment then you’re willing to let on.
OP is colorblind and her wife is naive, the next update will be interesting
Wow this entire post made me so uncomfortable. I don't care how you chose to view ana but she isn't a friend to your wife. She has inserted herself in places she has absolutely no business being in and you allowed it. I promise you this is not positive and will not end positively.
This dude is a cheater, definitely TA
Delulu was his solulu.
Hey, this'll probably get buried/downvoted, but I'm proud of you, OP! You handled an awkward situation really well. I was worried the comments on your last update were getting in your head and convincing you to do something dumb. Good on you for signing off and letting your better judgement prevail. You're a good husband and a good friend. Wishing you all continued happiness :)
You cant see it but this is the start of the end of your marriage. And your wife is behaving stupidly and trying to be the cool wife or some shit. Shut this shit down, man
Does Ana hug your wife every morning? 🤣
It's wonderful that she's doing better but, the lines are becoming blurred. Mind yourself, OP. Your marriage and your wife's friendship sounds at risk. This all sounds incredibly inappropriate. It would strain my marriage for sure tbh.
Bruh you’re soft launching an affair
My bf would never disrespect me like this, going to the gym 3-4 times a week with another woman, waking up with her, having coffee... Update us when your wife leaves ok?
Ana testing the waters on a sneaky yet innocent appearance level. OOP has no idea that he's spending quality time with his wife's alleged BFF. This is a disaster in the making. Ana's gonna shoot her shot at OOP soon enough. Next updates are gonna be...Ana asked me to help her move into her new apartment....lol
But ya all, they made wife breakfast. Wife don't need the gym or like protein..icky. Someone has to be around for the kid while Op and Ana have coffee, am dates, gym dates , and geek out together over Protein. Op, when do you have date nights or family time??
So I just read his last post, and he’s an AH. By his own account, he’s an average looking guy that would never have a chance with a woman like Ana (miss USA level pretty) and he’s loving the possibility of it. He’s playing SO dumb. What I don’t understand is his wife, why is she playing herself like this?
I’m sorry. You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen. I mean if your intention is to have an emotional and or physical with your wife’s friend you’re on the right track.. there’s no man in this world that’s truly as dense as this.
Your wife was upset when her friend was topless in front of you but not upset that she's all but taking over as your wife? 1. Gets up with you and greets you with a hug, daily 2. Prepares breakfast with you, daily 3. Fixes lunches with you, daily 4. Has you looking at apartments with her 5. Has inserted herself into your life outside of the house Yup nothing to see here /s Next update will be that you "accidentally" cheated on your wife with her friend.
Do you or your wife spend more alone time with Ana?
I’m dying at how it got to this point. Gym buds? Morning buds? Cool lol idk man
She’s still working on you OP. You’re blind.
I might be reading a little too much Reddit lately but I get the feeling Ana is weaving her way into your life. I don’t understand why not keeping her at arms length regardless. I think you might like the attention.
Next post will be - Anna slipped and fell and somehow I ended up inside 🙄 yikes for your relationship, stupidity and your poor wife.
You’re having fun with the morning kiss, hug and gym sessions.
OHHHHH BOY, here we go! Remindme!
I'm glad things are working out for Anna. From your most recent post, it seems as if you are now spending more time with Anna versus your own wife. I'm sure you enjoy her company, but the grass grows where you water it. You might want to reinvest that time and energy into your wife and marriage. Again, the sooner she moves out, the better.
dude, geeking out on the same stuff, GYM...stop this shit and be a good husband. good person. kick the scorpion out of your bed, or you ll destroy your family. wake the fuck up. you're finding excuses to build your relationship with this woman. This is when I wish Reddit could warn the other person, of your emotional affair.
Yikes, this just got worse. Now she’s like your side chick, joining the gym, waking up the same times, hugging and cheek kissing, taking your son together. This is turning into an emotional affair at this point. Not sure how you don’t see this…that’s a lot of time to just spend alone with each other. Why are you letting her tag a long so much?
NTA. As long as OP's wife is aware of things and okay with what happen, it isn't "cheating" at least not in the way some people are playing it up. People are implying and acuseing OP of doing more, but there isn't anything so explicit or problematic. If OP were doing more, and was doing something inappropriately he probably wouldn't have posted an update.
She's gonna get you bud... You like the attention but you will end up with lifelong consequences. Think about your kids
You know this is wrong but you like this. Your poor wife 😔
Bro do you not have a conscience?
You’re being manipulated. Overt acts didn’t work and now she’s waking up early to be with you when your wife isn’t around. Shes going to the gym with you, where you’ll both be minimally clothed and sweaty. You and your wife are getting played, and when she kisses you, you need to kick her out. You should do that before it happens, but you clearly won’t.
Update us when the divorce happens "for no reason at all." 🙄
This sub is so fucking jaded lol, y'all are a sad bunch, and would literaly crumble to pieces in places like Europe where social norms arent EXACTLY like how you would expect them in your own house. Touch grass folks.
Does the OP think we are stupid? Maybe his wife bought all his bs but this chicky right here knows better! Of course he put a little twist on the hugging kissing part. The two of them are getting up early and spending time together while his wife is sleeping! What a wiener he is!
Simple, show your wife this post and the comments.
The red flags just keep on dropping. Jesus Christ.
I hope this is fake. Ana is a home wrecker. This man is either incredibly naive or in denial about his emotional affair. God I hope this isn’t real. That poor wife.
Are you really this dense? 💀
In Spanish speaking cultures. You hug and kiss lightly on each check every time you greet someone. You can see them at 0800 and again at 1400 and it’s the same ritual. But I am still very suspicious. OP is a jerk
I hope your wife leaves you. You’re gross
You are an idiot. Another woman lives with you, has started waking up at 5:00 AM just to spend time alone with you in the morning, have coffee, and make lunches. She greets you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She joined your gym so she can work out with you in the evenings, before both of you pick up the kids. She’s playing the role of wife, putting down roots in your heart, and carving out a regular schedule with you. She should have been making this effort with YOUR WIFE, not you. You cannot possibly be this stupid. If you provide an update it will be that you never meant for this to happen, but you unexpectedly fell for her, had sex, got her pregnant, filed for divorce, and are house hunting with Ana. You will claim you never intended for this to happen.
Man this shit is gonna end so badly. Why are you “trying” to act naive as if you don’t see her trying to get close to you in a personal way. The hugs, kisses, waking up every morning at 5AM with you and having coffee, going to the gym together 3-4 times a week. It sounds like y’all spend more time together then you and you wife. Smh you ain’t fool nobody, this definitely a emotional affair about to turn physical 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounds like an emotional affair to me.
Dude are you blind??? She’s inserting herself in your life and going out of her way to be more involved with YOU specifically. You better get your head in the game and RESPECT YOUR WIFE and tell her what’s going on. Or maybe you’re not being honest with yourself about how much you actually want this. In that case I feel awful for your wife.