There we go.. “controlling behavior.” It’s perfectly normal for a man to want his woman covered up. It’s also perfectly normal for you to be upset by it. It’s also normal for him to not give a shit. To say that she can wear whatever she wants in a relationship is a bit misleading.. because she can’t with this dude.
Pretty sure that’s what I said. She was asking how to make it ok for her guy. She can’t. She wants to wear it, so she should. But, she shouldn’t get upset that she doesn’t have a boyfriend after.
Probably. Dating seems to lack a lot of deep convos until way too late.
But it’s kind of an unusual thing these days to be anti two piece, and if don’t like bikinis wonder at all sorts of other clothes. Unless this is his first GF in summer or only dated in very religious type circle, shocking hasn’t come up.
Sorry she did. She said and that is literally in her post “Any advice ladies for getting him to see my side”.
So she is the one wanting to control him. He only said said “according to her post”it makes him uncomfortable”. He did not say she can’t. So he is not controlling but expressing his discomfort while she wants him to change …who is controlling?
lol, typical. So you are saying, him feeling uncomfortable is controlling, her feeling bad is a him issue. But she is always right.
Basically no matter what it’s always his fault, good luck finding a simp if that’s your mindset.
Your « don’t try to force someone » seams not to be work both sides. She want to force him to accept her choice…so if she feels bad…she should leave instead of forcing him to change. « She should date some who shares her view » …Your own words.
🙄
No, she’s not ALWAYS right.
She is right about HER body. This is the key component. Opinions and decisions about own self are completely different and yes trump opinions/decisions about other people.
If she was the one who didn’t like facial hair and he had/always had a beard, and she kept bothering him about it after pursuing him, THAT would be a more equitable comparison. Then I would tell her she shouldn’t have pursued him and/or should have been upfront before any relationship started.
This is not difficult to understand
I see, so it is ok for a stranger to tell her to wear a uniform at school, the boss to give her a dress code at work, anyone to tell her to not be topless in public…but if the boyfriend tells her he feels uncomfortable it’s not. That is your point right?!
If he says he is uncomfortable it’s controlling and should leave.
But if he leaves he is an insecure jerk.
On the other hand he is still expected to protect her. Despite him warning that her attire is dragging the wrong type of attention and is exposing her to more risks, he should just suck it up and jump in if or when that type of attention gets her in trouble.
Ok we will only agree that they are a mismatch.
Call me controlling, insecure, or anything you want. But if I’m expected to protect my girl (yes MY GIRL same as I’m HER MAN), I claim the right to express my concerns about any behavior she might have that exposes her to a risk (dressing, ton of voice, anything).
In this situation I would tell her to not wear it in public. If the « tan lines » are the issue, she can tan naked in a private place for all I would care.
If she ignores it, she is no more MY girl and can do whatever as I would not even be with her. Of course I won’t be her protector and she is on her own if anything goes wrong. She can ask assistance from all those that put the idea that « HER Body » is a right that protects you from consequences.
Unfortunately like most she will realize that consequences are often something painful to live before she can make use of that right.
It’s actually not ok for public schools to have uniforms. Now private and jobs, you choose to take them or not, based on UP FRONT information that’s not personal (otherwise hello lawsuit). There are a lot of laws restricting this in general to keep it very narrow.
There’s a movement to repeal topless laws that only apply to fems because of the hypocrisy, but laws around actual health and safety applied to all persons are not the same as individuals judging individuals because of different beliefs. You keep coming up with examples that most people understand have significant differences.
And you aren’t expected to protect your girl (dude are you dating children?) anymore than should stand up for anyone but that doesn’t extend to disrespecting them. Normal attire shouldn’t be an issue.
Oh, really? Not expected to protect my girl? Sorry was not aware of that.
So basically if a dude breaks into my house I can expect her to step in, or if a dude starts to harass her in a bar/street…I just let her handle it herself. Good to know. You are right I’m out of marketplace for some time and the way I was upraised I was expected to defend the girl “before” she gets in trouble. Waiting for her to get harassed or SA’ed because I can make a lawsuit later is not the way I work.
Regarding my examples. Yes it’s examples. By definition an example can’t be 100% the same but you should be able to get it. UP FRONT, when you are in a relationship you know the boundaries of your partner. Or maybe you changed your style…so it’s not UP FRONT, any more.
But your argument about not being protected invalidates all my comments.
If that is the case, it means there is no traditional relationships any more. Nice to know I don’t have to open doors, change tires, pay for dates, provide….
Hell, I guess I should stop all my stress lifestyle and just get out again to find a girl that will do all the heavy lifting and provide for me.
I can relax playing games and enjoying all the free time.
Lmao I lost at "it's not OK for public schools to have uniforms". If someone is willing to engage in that level of mental gymnastics what chance do you have of changing their mind?
Whatever she wants? And he doesn't get to say "I'm not comfortable with that and I'm gonna leave"? So, he can wear whatever he wants and she has to stay quiet and stay? Don't think you thought your answer through there.
No one said he can't leave. If you want to break up because your partner is in a bikini, do you. Normal people would find that to be a deeply troublesome conclusion to come to, but hey, if that's how you want to live, go find someone else who can live with it.
No, I don’t think you thought your answer here.
No one said he can’t leave. He can say whatever he wants but he doesn’t own her body and can’t tell her what she can’t or can wear.
It’s the same as if the roles were reversed, she can say something but he doesn’t have to change what he’s wearing, because she doesn’t own his body either.
It’s that simple you’re trying to make it something it’s not.
NTA I’m not going to automatically say that your boyfriend is controlling and that he’s an asshole, but he’s probably insecure and doesn’t want you getting unwanted attention. He should be proud of his gf and want to show her off. It’s not a you problem, it’s a him problem. Talk to him and try to understand the root of these feelings for him. Explain how it makes you feel and hopefully he should understand. If you need to stroke his ego to make him understand then he’s definitely TA. Hope it goes well :)
NTA You should keep in mind that it's your body, your choice.
But don't forget the fact that its his girlfriend, his choice.
If you can't reach a compromise, the relationships probably over
NT... \**I see the profile picture\** ok YTA, him too because it seems like he makes a Pikachu face when he's with someone who seeks validation on the internet to the point of being anonymous by name but not by body.
NAH
You can choose to let your ass hang out at the beach if you wish AND he is not required to like it.
He can just break up with you and move on.
Do women really feel comfortable with strings in their asses? Or is that the part they think looks sexy?
If he feels uncomfortable, you are free to disregard it and he is free, to leave the relationship for his feelings being disregarded, he can go find a woman who shares his views on modesty, which is fine.
you have a right to wear whatever you want but he has a right to feel uncomfortable about it. you might not be compatible with him. you have to decide what each other's boundaries are acceptable. nta but neither is he.
good luck
Or maybe he just doesn't want to see someone he genuinely like exposed.. why are you looking to attract attention yet you have a boyfriend.. feel sexy to some random strangers then what?? Why do you need validation from people who don't care..Anyway, its you body and we live in the 21st century. Just don't blame him if he decides to break up with you
Not really. I just don't think you should keep yourself out there. These world is full of pervs and weirdos. Not everybody who was SAd was dressing inappropriately.
You have the right to wear what you want. He has the right to feel uncomfortable. You should ask him why he feels uncomfortable when you wear a bikini and you should explain why you want to wear a bikini.
Is it ok for him to walk up to any woman on the beach and talk to them? Is it ok for him to stare at any woman on the beach when they wear bikinis?
Would it be ok if he went to a nude beach to check out naked women?
What are your boundaries and if he didn't agree with them is he wrong and are you then controlling because he doesn't agree?
I really like how some people have a really cut and dry position on this? He is controlling dump him. It's a red flag dump him. I wonder what the average age of the people responding to this post are?
Relationships are not just cut and dry. Each person will have insecurities and boundaries that you have to deal with. The more your values, boundaries and insecuritiesatch up it will probably easier to have a working relationship.
The more you have invested in the relationship the harder it is to just discount the other person's feelings.
It all depends on how much you want the relationship and what compromises you want to make.
bro yall who are saying the shit is controlling or he is insecure are actually men who had 0 standards or girls who are feeding other girls delusions.
there is NOTHING WRONG with not wanting your gf to wear little to no clothing. it’s not about not trusting her, it’s simple the fact of why. why does she need to wear a certain type or style of clothing, especially one that will get her a certain type of attention.
downvote me all you want idc but damn yall actually be hating on men for having standards and boundaries. yall call what we want controlling but when it’s something YOU want it’s suddenly empowering and “go girl” so suit yourself.
no. she simply doesn’t want other women to look and stare at him in a sexual or lustful manner. but once again. this has to be something they both hold each other to. if she can and he cannot or if she cannot and he can? that’s a red flag.
No.. I would straight up call her a controlling girlfriend if the genders were reversed.
The fuck is wrong with wearing a bikini? It covers all the important bits.
Boyfriend can chose to leave if he doesn’t like it. He can have that. OP can wear what she wants. If he says he’ll leave if she wears it, she can tell him bye and wear what she wants.
How the fuck is this hard?
YTA- I was going to say that you weren’t, but after looking at your profile pic and re-reading the post, I can see why your boyfriend would want you to wear something a smidge more modest. Yes, you can wear whatever you want, and that is a fact. If you want to wear something “sexy,” that’s also fine. However, it seems like you enjoy the attention from other people outside of your relationship. It doesn’t mean you can’t wear a thong-bikini, but it actually seems as though YOU are the one who is insecure because you want to gain the approval from other men and be “sexy.” You can’t cry that he’s insecure if your point is to attract attention and be ogled.
I want to look sexy in general. I’m young. I have a nice body and won’t forever so kill me if I want to wear normal bikinis in this 21st century. My bf should be confident enough to know that me looking my best doesn’t mean I want other guys.
YTA
why wouldn't you respect your boyfriend enough to not do something he has made it clear makes him feel uncomfortable.
How would you feel if you asked him not to do something that made you feel uncomfortable and he just ignored your feelings and did it anyway. Would that make you feel like he cared about you or respected you ?
NTA he doesn't get to decide what you wear. Set a boundary and if he fights it, you have your answer as to whether or not to stay in that relationship.
It's possible he thinks some other guy is going to give you attention and you're going to dump him. He might think that if you're running around looking sexy AF in a bikini and being confident in it, that you're going to attract a better looking more confident guy and either cheat on him or dump him. So he's trying to make you feel bad by saying it's making him uncomfortable and then you'll feel sorry for him and cover up.
It could also be controlling behaviour at the very beginning and you need to make sure you pay 100% attention to his behaviour for the next few months, just to see if he's telling you what to wear, or where to go or who you can be friends with over that period. If he is, then dump him and move on.
You are allowed to have a life outside of your relationship. It's healthy and natural to have friends, and do what makes you happy. If he's trying to control that then you need to leave now.
Your body your choice, you shouldn’t have to convince him, he is not your father. I understand you wanna respect him but I just don’t see what makes him uncomfortable. It’s a swimsuit. Tell him that you don’t feel comfortable in anything else and that you feel confident and beautiful
NTA you have a right to wear what you want. He is insecure of losing you because he thinks your beautiful and will attract men who will take you away from him. He needs therapy but try to do things that remind him you are his (I know if sounds cavemanish but still true)
Yep, you're being a bit of a douche nozzle by not respecting your boyfriends wishes. Here's a thing you could do to increase the prospects of you doing what ever you want without anyone else telling you what to do.. Break up with your boyfriend. Set him free and go do what ever it is you want to do.
It simping to have the opinion that people can’t demand folk wear or don’t wear things?
Sorry but my dance card is full. I’m sorry I understand body autonomy.
Relationships is give and take. It seems women, now a days, don't want to give anything.. They just want to take. If the guy has a problem with how his woman is dressed, assuming its' within reason, then her options are a) Accept it and give him that respect or b) Leave the relationship.. What you're doing is simping.. that certain..
lol, I’m simping because I believe women and men can wear what they want and their partner can’t control it? Child please the boyfriend can just as easily leave. If that’s a boundary, he can leave. Simple as that. If he chooses to stay, he can shut up because that’s the choice he made.
I wouldn’t dream of telling either of my partners what they can wear. That’s bullshit.
What? That I can manage two relationships? You act like treating people with dignity and respect, which includes their bodily autonomy is a bad thing. I bet you’re just a HIT with the gender you’re attracted to.
Lol.. "Manage two relationships".. You mean simping your way through two people taking advantage of your sad benign take on everything? You're basically the 3rd wheel in a relationship with a narcissistic take on your role within the "relationship".. Dude.. Take a knee.. I'm glad you found something to cling onto instead of going Oklahoma bombing on it.. but still, it's very sad.. and not really a person to be taken serious when it comes to relationships advice..
Wow. You are definitely the reason why women choose the bear aren’t ya there little buddy?
I’ve been with my spouse over a decade and with my other partner for two years. Maybe you should actually learn what the word narcissistic means, because I don’t think you actually understand at all. It doesn’t mean what you think it does.
Now if you want to join the adults at the table and not just be mad that women don’t like you, we can talk. Otherwise your constant use of the word simp for me doesn’t mean shit other than you sound like a little boy who women won’t talk to…and honestly, I can see why they wouldn’t. You don’t see them as equal human beings.
ETA: I looked at your comment history. You are a little incel aren’t you? Or at least vying to be president of the he man woman haters club that’s for sure. Like pubic hair is the enemy cause it “hides” what you want to see? Fuck, I’d cross the street to get away from you if I saw you.
Am afraid it's a him problem not a you problem..
He knows for a fact that other dudes will be eyeing you and he does not like it even though he will be doing the same thing to other bikini clad women..
People don't seem to realise men automatically look at other females whether the like it or not, it's done subconsciously, does not mean anything it's just something they do, we woman do the same but not as obviously and we call it window shopping it's nice but does not mean we're going to buy it.
You just need to reassure him that it's only his eyes on you that is important to you no one else's...
Good luck and hope all works out..
NTA
It might be an idea to have a chat and ask why it makes him uncomfortable.
If he matters to you, you should consider his feelings but ultimately, your comfort with your body and appearance come first.
Sounds like he’s just insecure and feels threatened by the attention you do or he thinks you’re getting.
If you can, try to make him understand that trying to control you is a bigger threat to your relationship than some dude with a six pack checking you out.
Good luck!
It feels like a troll post. You're responding with a profile picture almost completely naked. I think your boyfriend don't approve to that aswell...
Yeah, this is BS. Look at all the simps eating it up.
That’s the bikini in question and yes I did it on purpose
NTA. You should be able to wear whatever you want in a relationship. That sounds like controlling behavior.
There we go.. “controlling behavior.” It’s perfectly normal for a man to want his woman covered up. It’s also perfectly normal for you to be upset by it. It’s also normal for him to not give a shit. To say that she can wear whatever she wants in a relationship is a bit misleading.. because she can’t with this dude.
No, it’s not. “His woman”- she’s not property! Date someone who shares your clothing views, don’t try and force them to change
Pretty sure that’s what I said. She was asking how to make it ok for her guy. She can’t. She wants to wear it, so she should. But, she shouldn’t get upset that she doesn’t have a boyfriend after.
No, you said it’s normal to want “his woman”covered. It’s not.
Tell that to Muslims
Happily. But go back to original comment- If you want a woman that values that, date accordingly, don’t make them uncomfortable over your issue
They probably didn’t communicate before pool season lol
Probably. Dating seems to lack a lot of deep convos until way too late. But it’s kind of an unusual thing these days to be anti two piece, and if don’t like bikinis wonder at all sorts of other clothes. Unless this is his first GF in summer or only dated in very religious type circle, shocking hasn’t come up.
Sorry she did. She said and that is literally in her post “Any advice ladies for getting him to see my side”. So she is the one wanting to control him. He only said said “according to her post”it makes him uncomfortable”. He did not say she can’t. So he is not controlling but expressing his discomfort while she wants him to change …who is controlling?
If he’s making her feel bad about her body, that’s HIM being the issue.
lol, typical. So you are saying, him feeling uncomfortable is controlling, her feeling bad is a him issue. But she is always right. Basically no matter what it’s always his fault, good luck finding a simp if that’s your mindset. Your « don’t try to force someone » seams not to be work both sides. She want to force him to accept her choice…so if she feels bad…she should leave instead of forcing him to change. « She should date some who shares her view » …Your own words. 🙄
No, she’s not ALWAYS right. She is right about HER body. This is the key component. Opinions and decisions about own self are completely different and yes trump opinions/decisions about other people. If she was the one who didn’t like facial hair and he had/always had a beard, and she kept bothering him about it after pursuing him, THAT would be a more equitable comparison. Then I would tell her she shouldn’t have pursued him and/or should have been upfront before any relationship started. This is not difficult to understand
I see, so it is ok for a stranger to tell her to wear a uniform at school, the boss to give her a dress code at work, anyone to tell her to not be topless in public…but if the boyfriend tells her he feels uncomfortable it’s not. That is your point right?! If he says he is uncomfortable it’s controlling and should leave. But if he leaves he is an insecure jerk. On the other hand he is still expected to protect her. Despite him warning that her attire is dragging the wrong type of attention and is exposing her to more risks, he should just suck it up and jump in if or when that type of attention gets her in trouble. Ok we will only agree that they are a mismatch. Call me controlling, insecure, or anything you want. But if I’m expected to protect my girl (yes MY GIRL same as I’m HER MAN), I claim the right to express my concerns about any behavior she might have that exposes her to a risk (dressing, ton of voice, anything). In this situation I would tell her to not wear it in public. If the « tan lines » are the issue, she can tan naked in a private place for all I would care. If she ignores it, she is no more MY girl and can do whatever as I would not even be with her. Of course I won’t be her protector and she is on her own if anything goes wrong. She can ask assistance from all those that put the idea that « HER Body » is a right that protects you from consequences. Unfortunately like most she will realize that consequences are often something painful to live before she can make use of that right.
It’s actually not ok for public schools to have uniforms. Now private and jobs, you choose to take them or not, based on UP FRONT information that’s not personal (otherwise hello lawsuit). There are a lot of laws restricting this in general to keep it very narrow. There’s a movement to repeal topless laws that only apply to fems because of the hypocrisy, but laws around actual health and safety applied to all persons are not the same as individuals judging individuals because of different beliefs. You keep coming up with examples that most people understand have significant differences. And you aren’t expected to protect your girl (dude are you dating children?) anymore than should stand up for anyone but that doesn’t extend to disrespecting them. Normal attire shouldn’t be an issue.
Oh, really? Not expected to protect my girl? Sorry was not aware of that. So basically if a dude breaks into my house I can expect her to step in, or if a dude starts to harass her in a bar/street…I just let her handle it herself. Good to know. You are right I’m out of marketplace for some time and the way I was upraised I was expected to defend the girl “before” she gets in trouble. Waiting for her to get harassed or SA’ed because I can make a lawsuit later is not the way I work. Regarding my examples. Yes it’s examples. By definition an example can’t be 100% the same but you should be able to get it. UP FRONT, when you are in a relationship you know the boundaries of your partner. Or maybe you changed your style…so it’s not UP FRONT, any more. But your argument about not being protected invalidates all my comments. If that is the case, it means there is no traditional relationships any more. Nice to know I don’t have to open doors, change tires, pay for dates, provide…. Hell, I guess I should stop all my stress lifestyle and just get out again to find a girl that will do all the heavy lifting and provide for me. I can relax playing games and enjoying all the free time.
Lmao I lost at "it's not OK for public schools to have uniforms". If someone is willing to engage in that level of mental gymnastics what chance do you have of changing their mind?
Whatever she wants? And he doesn't get to say "I'm not comfortable with that and I'm gonna leave"? So, he can wear whatever he wants and she has to stay quiet and stay? Don't think you thought your answer through there.
No one said he can't leave. If you want to break up because your partner is in a bikini, do you. Normal people would find that to be a deeply troublesome conclusion to come to, but hey, if that's how you want to live, go find someone else who can live with it.
No, I don’t think you thought your answer here. No one said he can’t leave. He can say whatever he wants but he doesn’t own her body and can’t tell her what she can’t or can wear. It’s the same as if the roles were reversed, she can say something but he doesn’t have to change what he’s wearing, because she doesn’t own his body either. It’s that simple you’re trying to make it something it’s not.
It's not his body, not his choice. Period.
Go away incel
preach 🙌 controlling when the man wants something but empowering when the woman wants something 😂😭 when will yall quit being delulu
sis google exists. you don't have to be this stupid
Sounds like you've been watching too many tiktok/YouTube shorts on that bias whatever podcast
damn bud i think you should look in the mirror, you’re the delusional one
NTA I’m not going to automatically say that your boyfriend is controlling and that he’s an asshole, but he’s probably insecure and doesn’t want you getting unwanted attention. He should be proud of his gf and want to show her off. It’s not a you problem, it’s a him problem. Talk to him and try to understand the root of these feelings for him. Explain how it makes you feel and hopefully he should understand. If you need to stroke his ego to make him understand then he’s definitely TA. Hope it goes well :)
Don’t be with a controlling bf, it’s only going to get worse
NTA, he can choose what he wears, not what you wear. If he prefers not to wear a bikini, he doesn't have to.
NTA You should keep in mind that it's your body, your choice. But don't forget the fact that its his girlfriend, his choice. If you can't reach a compromise, the relationships probably over
NT... \**I see the profile picture\** ok YTA, him too because it seems like he makes a Pikachu face when he's with someone who seeks validation on the internet to the point of being anonymous by name but not by body.
NTA you have the right to wear whatever you want.
NAH You can choose to let your ass hang out at the beach if you wish AND he is not required to like it. He can just break up with you and move on. Do women really feel comfortable with strings in their asses? Or is that the part they think looks sexy?
Looks like an OF bait acct.
The profile picture makes this seem fake...
That’s the bikini in question.. And yes I did it on purpose
If he feels uncomfortable, you are free to disregard it and he is free, to leave the relationship for his feelings being disregarded, he can go find a woman who shares his views on modesty, which is fine.
NTA ^ and to me this kind of a red flag, your a grown woman who should be able to decide what to wear
NTA your bf is lame
you have a right to wear whatever you want but he has a right to feel uncomfortable about it. you might not be compatible with him. you have to decide what each other's boundaries are acceptable. nta but neither is he. good luck
Can he not control himself around women in bikinis ? Why not, is he 12 ? He's not ready to date a grown-up yet.
Hahahaha right? He says it’s more about his friends eye balling me but same! Lol
He needs better friends then…
then he can tell his friends to not ogle you if they do, where what you want
Or maybe he just doesn't want to see someone he genuinely like exposed.. why are you looking to attract attention yet you have a boyfriend.. feel sexy to some random strangers then what?? Why do you need validation from people who don't care..Anyway, its you body and we live in the 21st century. Just don't blame him if he decides to break up with you
so agree with this. need more people with this mindset
🙄
"every other girl wears a bikini I don't see the problem" somebody tell her she will never see
I bet you blame the woman when she gets raped or assaulted because she was wearing a skirt…
Not really. I just don't think you should keep yourself out there. These world is full of pervs and weirdos. Not everybody who was SAd was dressing inappropriately.
Seriously? 🙄
You have the right to wear what you want. He has the right to feel uncomfortable. You should ask him why he feels uncomfortable when you wear a bikini and you should explain why you want to wear a bikini. Is it ok for him to walk up to any woman on the beach and talk to them? Is it ok for him to stare at any woman on the beach when they wear bikinis? Would it be ok if he went to a nude beach to check out naked women? What are your boundaries and if he didn't agree with them is he wrong and are you then controlling because he doesn't agree? I really like how some people have a really cut and dry position on this? He is controlling dump him. It's a red flag dump him. I wonder what the average age of the people responding to this post are? Relationships are not just cut and dry. Each person will have insecurities and boundaries that you have to deal with. The more your values, boundaries and insecuritiesatch up it will probably easier to have a working relationship. The more you have invested in the relationship the harder it is to just discount the other person's feelings. It all depends on how much you want the relationship and what compromises you want to make.
bro yall who are saying the shit is controlling or he is insecure are actually men who had 0 standards or girls who are feeding other girls delusions. there is NOTHING WRONG with not wanting your gf to wear little to no clothing. it’s not about not trusting her, it’s simple the fact of why. why does she need to wear a certain type or style of clothing, especially one that will get her a certain type of attention. downvote me all you want idc but damn yall actually be hating on men for having standards and boundaries. yall call what we want controlling but when it’s something YOU want it’s suddenly empowering and “go girl” so suit yourself.
If some Reddit guy ever posts saying his GF won't let him go shirtless on the beach, I promise to also call her an insecure controlling asshole.
no. she simply doesn’t want other women to look and stare at him in a sexual or lustful manner. but once again. this has to be something they both hold each other to. if she can and he cannot or if she cannot and he can? that’s a red flag.
No.. I would straight up call her a controlling girlfriend if the genders were reversed. The fuck is wrong with wearing a bikini? It covers all the important bits. Boyfriend can chose to leave if he doesn’t like it. He can have that. OP can wear what she wants. If he says he’ll leave if she wears it, she can tell him bye and wear what she wants. How the fuck is this hard?
NTA. It’s your body not his property
Red flag. If my partner tried this I’d be reconsidering the relationship.
Let’s see the bikini
NTA. I’m looking for a bikini like this for my gf if you have a link
NTA - dump him and get a boyfriend that's not insecure
Don't be with someone who policies your clothes. What else is he policing/controlling?
YTA- I was going to say that you weren’t, but after looking at your profile pic and re-reading the post, I can see why your boyfriend would want you to wear something a smidge more modest. Yes, you can wear whatever you want, and that is a fact. If you want to wear something “sexy,” that’s also fine. However, it seems like you enjoy the attention from other people outside of your relationship. It doesn’t mean you can’t wear a thong-bikini, but it actually seems as though YOU are the one who is insecure because you want to gain the approval from other men and be “sexy.” You can’t cry that he’s insecure if your point is to attract attention and be ogled.
I want to look sexy in general. I’m young. I have a nice body and won’t forever so kill me if I want to wear normal bikinis in this 21st century. My bf should be confident enough to know that me looking my best doesn’t mean I want other guys.
Personally, I love seeing my gf strut around in a bikini.
YTA why wouldn't you respect your boyfriend enough to not do something he has made it clear makes him feel uncomfortable. How would you feel if you asked him not to do something that made you feel uncomfortable and he just ignored your feelings and did it anyway. Would that make you feel like he cared about you or respected you ?
NTA Wear that thong if you want to.
It's 2024, aren't we past this crap already? NTA.
NTA he doesn't get to decide what you wear. Set a boundary and if he fights it, you have your answer as to whether or not to stay in that relationship.
It's possible he thinks some other guy is going to give you attention and you're going to dump him. He might think that if you're running around looking sexy AF in a bikini and being confident in it, that you're going to attract a better looking more confident guy and either cheat on him or dump him. So he's trying to make you feel bad by saying it's making him uncomfortable and then you'll feel sorry for him and cover up. It could also be controlling behaviour at the very beginning and you need to make sure you pay 100% attention to his behaviour for the next few months, just to see if he's telling you what to wear, or where to go or who you can be friends with over that period. If he is, then dump him and move on. You are allowed to have a life outside of your relationship. It's healthy and natural to have friends, and do what makes you happy. If he's trying to control that then you need to leave now.
Your body your choice, you shouldn’t have to convince him, he is not your father. I understand you wanna respect him but I just don’t see what makes him uncomfortable. It’s a swimsuit. Tell him that you don’t feel comfortable in anything else and that you feel confident and beautiful
NTA. He is controlling and you need to get out of the relationship.
Nta you wear what you want, your boyfriend doesn't get to decide.
It's not your problem your boyfriend is insecure. If he has a problem with your bikini I would recommend he stays home
NTA you have a right to wear what you want. He is insecure of losing you because he thinks your beautiful and will attract men who will take you away from him. He needs therapy but try to do things that remind him you are his (I know if sounds cavemanish but still true)
Give him one chance to shut up permanently, and then get a new boyfriend. This one's an insecure controlling asshole. NTA
Yep, you're being a bit of a douche nozzle by not respecting your boyfriends wishes. Here's a thing you could do to increase the prospects of you doing what ever you want without anyone else telling you what to do.. Break up with your boyfriend. Set him free and go do what ever it is you want to do.
Ain’t a single person forcing the boyfriend to stay. He has the ability to just ✨leave✨
Calm down simpy.. He's not the one on reddit whining about not having the freedom to do what ever he wants..
It simping to have the opinion that people can’t demand folk wear or don’t wear things? Sorry but my dance card is full. I’m sorry I understand body autonomy.
Relationships is give and take. It seems women, now a days, don't want to give anything.. They just want to take. If the guy has a problem with how his woman is dressed, assuming its' within reason, then her options are a) Accept it and give him that respect or b) Leave the relationship.. What you're doing is simping.. that certain..
lol, I’m simping because I believe women and men can wear what they want and their partner can’t control it? Child please the boyfriend can just as easily leave. If that’s a boundary, he can leave. Simple as that. If he chooses to stay, he can shut up because that’s the choice he made. I wouldn’t dream of telling either of my partners what they can wear. That’s bullshit.
..and the simp title remains strong.. "..either of my partners.." .. Yeah, I see where this is going..
What? That I can manage two relationships? You act like treating people with dignity and respect, which includes their bodily autonomy is a bad thing. I bet you’re just a HIT with the gender you’re attracted to.
Lol.. "Manage two relationships".. You mean simping your way through two people taking advantage of your sad benign take on everything? You're basically the 3rd wheel in a relationship with a narcissistic take on your role within the "relationship".. Dude.. Take a knee.. I'm glad you found something to cling onto instead of going Oklahoma bombing on it.. but still, it's very sad.. and not really a person to be taken serious when it comes to relationships advice..
Wow. You are definitely the reason why women choose the bear aren’t ya there little buddy? I’ve been with my spouse over a decade and with my other partner for two years. Maybe you should actually learn what the word narcissistic means, because I don’t think you actually understand at all. It doesn’t mean what you think it does. Now if you want to join the adults at the table and not just be mad that women don’t like you, we can talk. Otherwise your constant use of the word simp for me doesn’t mean shit other than you sound like a little boy who women won’t talk to…and honestly, I can see why they wouldn’t. You don’t see them as equal human beings. ETA: I looked at your comment history. You are a little incel aren’t you? Or at least vying to be president of the he man woman haters club that’s for sure. Like pubic hair is the enemy cause it “hides” what you want to see? Fuck, I’d cross the street to get away from you if I saw you.
What is fully covered? Like a 1 piece that children wear? Sounds pretty insecure to me.
Yes lol
every women is an image of the mother to be spoken of with reverence, respect your boyfriend and cover up. hoe
Yes, you should never be seen outside a burkha. - or maybe you should get a man- rather than boy-friend.
Your heart's in the right place but the messaging needs work.
Am afraid it's a him problem not a you problem.. He knows for a fact that other dudes will be eyeing you and he does not like it even though he will be doing the same thing to other bikini clad women.. People don't seem to realise men automatically look at other females whether the like it or not, it's done subconsciously, does not mean anything it's just something they do, we woman do the same but not as obviously and we call it window shopping it's nice but does not mean we're going to buy it. You just need to reassure him that it's only his eyes on you that is important to you no one else's... Good luck and hope all works out..
Let’s see it!
You’d have to DM but my profile pic is one of them lol
Are you in Saudi Arabia? If not tell bf to fuck off
NTA Get rid of this insecure controlling jerk.
Its probably not your bfs size
How old is he?
NTA It might be an idea to have a chat and ask why it makes him uncomfortable. If he matters to you, you should consider his feelings but ultimately, your comfort with your body and appearance come first. Sounds like he’s just insecure and feels threatened by the attention you do or he thinks you’re getting. If you can, try to make him understand that trying to control you is a bigger threat to your relationship than some dude with a six pack checking you out. Good luck!
NTA He can wear a bathing suit with more coverage if it’s his preference.
Red flag city here. He's trying to control you. You can wear whatever you want. It's a HIM problem not a YOU problem.