Yup. My ex was a mummy boy. Through and through. However the moment his mother disrespected me, in my home, he stood by me when I kicked her out and also backed me up when I said she's never welcome back. We will go to her home etc but she won't be stepping foot through my front door again.
My crime? I washed up after dinner about 2hrs after we had eaten a meal I spent over an hour cooking. Because I wanted to sit, enjoy my post meal haze and also bathe my 1yr old who painted herself with dinner, and then.. got to the dishes. Apparently a real women would have started the dishes as soon as I'd finished eating.
Bitch had a dishwasher. I didn't. She had to push a button, I had to hand wash. And that's exactly what I said to her while furiously grabbing her shit together and demanding she gets in her car and goes anywhere but my home. And also for what it's worth, that dishwasher only got turned on when they went to bed... Not after the last dinner plate was put in it.
She was just being an asshole and I've got absolutely no time for that behaviour.
Because I had said it's fine I got this, usually he would do one or the other, but it was the first time she'd been in our home and she had been away for 7mths seeing family overseas, so I wanted he and her to have some time ya know? And before that, I liked her too... I'd known her since I was 12 and at the time I was 23. I didn't think she was an asshole or would be at all, neither did he from what I realised after I lost my absolute mind.
I took chiid for a bath asap, done in about 20mins, so then I handed her the clean child to fuss over cos she was genuinely a good grandmother, she missed time with her and also her own son so... I was like DW about it, I got this, let me sit for a tad and be social type thing.
In reality I could have left those dishes until the next day and nothing at all should have been said to me whatsoever, let alone him ya know? But yeah.. she done fucked it with literally one sentence in my books.
And we did go to hers after, and I was the perfect DIL, got along amazingly with his father lol. Just she and I were... Polite in a way she could never bitch about unless she wanted others to pull her up on her shit.
I also know for a fact the wedding portrait of theirs I had fixed and remade, is still pride of place on their family portrait wall... She will never ever escape me. And that makes me sleep so much better at night after the divorce lol 😂
I hate people like this they pretend they have ridiculously high standards that they don’t even pretend to have, but they only pretend to have them the moment im doing something and it suits them best, i have them at work and their my “manager”
That's it.
Who gives a fuck shit my dishes aint done ya know?
Even the ex hub knew I didn't blow up as I did then.. but within reason fair.
I said sit, let me and she had a fucking thing to say in MY home. Where allowance was given cos of her
Nope. Don't try it. My home, I owned. Outright. Your mother is here at my pleasure and privilege. She can get the fuck out.
And out of that marriage. Why did OP agree to the move in the first place if they didn't get along?
Sounds like husband may have made a unilateral decision. If that's the case, definitely get the fuck out of there OP. The only reason MIL is comfortable talking to OP like that is because she knows she has her little boy wrapped around her finger.
This situation will only get worse from here.
OP, run.
NTA
NTA but why is your husband ok with MIL moving in and continuing to insult you in your home then saying what you said back was wrong? That is messed up and disrespectful.
You are NTA. She should not have treated you that way, so you had the right to speak up. But… the way you said it, with the sexual reference, was a low blow and I understand why your husband is mad. It was hilarious though, and she did deserve it, however crude it was.
I am all for low blows. OP has managed to tolerate and move around MILs nonsense.
I am don't fight and don't like it. But when I do, I always go for the worse possible low blow (think throwing fully weight on a standing knee kind of low blow).
OP tolerated and I won't tolerate my MIL constantly telling me they don't know what their son sees in me, while condemning me for choices I made when they also made that exact choice in their past. Like I said, all for low blows, and OP smashed this one. NTA
Exactly. I'm a chill guy and I don't like to escalate negativity usually. Easier to just ignore it or leave the situation. HOWEVER, if I get pushed to the point of engaging, I IMMEDIATELY go nuclear. My first shot will either make you cry or want to fight me. I'm not gonna dance around the issue until we take deeper and deeper cuts at each other. The first thing I'm gonna do is bring up your biggest insecurity or shame and drop it right in your lap to explode in your face. And I won't feel bad one bit.
I kinda sometimes like the low blow. Its a firm signal "game over". No need for that tit-for-tat bs.
NTA, though I suspect some of her animosity toward OP is projection of her shame -- and OP chose just that thing she seems most shameful of.
Mike Drop
Husband won't be hitting nothing until he gets his priorities straight.
No one comes into your house and shits on you without wearing some of it.
Husband better understand that.
NTA
NTA
Tell your husband that if HE was doing his job of protecting his wife from gratuitous insults you wouldn't have had to do it yourself.
Then tell him that if HE doesn't rein the bitch in you will respond ten for one with the objective of driving her out of the house in tears...
--
Your MIL moves in your house and questions what her son sees in you?? WOW..the balls on her!! Your comment was crude, but she had it coming. Why is your husband mad @ you, but Mom gets a pass?? Perhaps next time, she’ll thinking twice before she starts the bullying??!!
Your husband is the AH for allowing a woman to berate and belittle you AND live in your home, regardless of whether that person is his mother. PS if she hates the tat she can get it removed. Why is she living with you if she hates you?
NTA. Crudeness aside, if she's extremely ashamed of her tramp stamp she shouldn't keep throwing tattoos into the conversation. Her malicious comments about your marriage, however, are another matter. Your husband should have shut this down before she ever moved in. Regardless of what he and MIL think, it is your house too and she can move out as easily as she moved in. And tell your husband that if she cannot control her mouth when drinking, it's time for her to lose the booze and head for the old folks home.
I am a if you go low, I go lower type of person. But my biggest question for you is why is your husband OK with the way your mom treats you? Why are you OK with your husband calling you an asshole for reacting to your mother treating you as she does? She’s living with you and she’s in her 60s so she could be living there for who knows how long, Right? That is what your life is going to look like at home? You redirecting or changing the subject so she doesn’t call you names and treat you like trash? That sounds exhausting to be quite honest. While I love my spouse, I love myself more. There’s absolutely no way I would allow anyone to talk to me like that much less allow them to live with me. Good luck,may you get everything you deserve
NTA. She don't want none, she shouldn't start none. Your husband is an AH for letting her bash you and expecting you to keep rolling over. I'd be telling husband she needs to treat you with respect in your home, or find somewhere else to live.
My grandmother used to complain about my tattoo, too. Until I pointed out that her permanent eyeliner was a tattoo.
NTA but the crude sexual reference was unnecessary; should have just said “Bold words from the lady with the hideous tramp stamp.” Still has the zinger but more or less maintaining the high road.
I dunno. Sounded like a bullseye to me. MIL keeps saying "I don't know what my son sees in you"
Seems like MIL was projecting to OP what she had done in the past.
ESH
You MIL sounds awful and I dont think there is anything wrong with pointing out hers when she point out yours
but i think you went too far in how you attacked her about it, any moral high ground you had was lost in how you responded to her
YTA, but sometimes, being TA is an appropriate response. To your husband: "She's constantly being an AH to me about my ink, ever since she moved in to MY house. Are you going to tell me she didn't have that coming to her"?
I definitely don't think you are the AH in this situation. But since the two of you do not get along, whose brilliant idea was it for her to move in with you and husband? This situation is only going to get worse. She is already attempting to split you and husband up, and he is siding with her instead of having your back. You need to get her out of your home before she breaks your marriage up. then you and hubby need to get some counseling to reconnect and learn healthy ways to deal with her.
Nta
Loves to dish it out but can’t take it in. Schooled her well.
You need to correct your husband though. He can’t be tolerating you being badmouthed but then being angry when you put her in her place. That’s not being a good partner.
>My MIL (60s) moved in with me and my husband (30s) a few weeks ago.
>Me and the MIL always butted heads but tolerated eachother enough for family get togethers, birthdays etc. She has always disapproved of how I look and dress, especially my tattoos and brings it up every chance she gets.
Why in the fuck would you let her move in? What the hell was the thought process behind this?
mmmmmmmmmaybe she should stop berating and degrading her daughter in law. NTA. bring it up every time she belittles you over your tattoos. WITHOUT FAIL. hah.
NTA apologize but don’t apologize. “I figured it was okay to comment on your tattoo since you never pass up any opportunity to comment on mine. I’m sorry if I took it too far, as I feel differently about my tattoos than you do. Perhaps we could use this as an opportunity to make a new rule to not say anything about each other’s tattoos unless it is 100% positive and complimentary.”
NTA. If she can't take it, she shouldn't dish it. The bigger issues, however, is that this is YOUR home and this is still going on and your husband isn't taking her to task over it. I would talk to him and tell him she's taken this way too far, and if she's going to stay in your home, she needs to be respectful. You handling it politely hasn't worked, so it was past time to hit back. It actually should have happened years ago.
NTA she start shit, get hit. If she was all that ashamed, she could've gotten it removed or covered. Or, she could've said how she regrets hers. Of course if she was smart, she would've just kept her damn mouth shut lol
You are NTA sort of. No problem with you calling it out, but you went far beyond that, though, didn't you? The way you said it made you look like the asshole.
NTA
Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Secondly, you should be all in your husband spineless backboned face, he never stood up for you while mil berated you over your tatts while all along knowing his mother had one.
Aholes here are mil and husband.
Don't throw bricks if you live in a glass house. Tell your husband he should be on her ass every time she says that shit instead of getting on yours when you stand up to her. NTA
NTA. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Your husband should be defending you as well. His mother shouldn't be judging nor berating you like that, and he should be shutting her down for doing so. Not your fault you finally got a good comeback in. If he had stepped up like a man and put his mother in her place it wouldn't have come to this.
OP has a husband problem. His mom should never have gotten to the point of being a problem.
And she who has a glass house should not engage in throwing stones.
I am at a loss as to why you allowed her to move in with you when you don’t have a good relationship with her. I wouldn’t even live in the same suburb as my MIL as she didn’t like me. Time for her to go, and your husband should be taking your side on this. Good come back on the tattoo. She has probably regretted having it done which is why she hides it and criticises your tattoos. Your body, your choice and no one gets to bitch about your choice except you. For your future peace of mind, you need to sit your husband down and talk about the whole situation before it blows up your marriage.
Your husband is an asshole for allowing his mother to speak to his wife that way. Mama would be finding another place to live if she spoke to my wife like that.
She doesn't know what he sees in you?
That's an intolerable level of disrespect, and your husband needs to take your side in this.
Bro needs to decide who he wants to live with - his mean and ungrateful mom, or his wife.
(Was it a mean thing to say? Yes, but she provoked and deserved it. But work on better ways to deal with her, for your own peace of mind. Locking her in the basement, maybe ... ;) )
WTF is that woman doing in your house? No way I would agree to that with everything else that is going on so how did he convince you she needs to live with you?
I would tell your "other" (he doesn't deserve the title husband .. much less "significant ") to go fuck himself.
A man who let's his mother berate his wife, but gets pissed if his wife defends herself against his mom, IN THEIR OWN HOUSE!!, Can hardly be called a man IMO.
NTA. If your husband didn’t want you to say something like that he should have spoken up and defended you. My parents get on me about mine (which is waaaaaay less than what you have) and they’re like didn’t you know what it’ll look like when you’re older? Why ruin your skin? Blah blah. Like yes I know what they’ll look like and I don’t care. When I’m 70 I’ll be perfectly satisfied to be in good health. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Which you shouldn’t even have to do in your own home, by the way.
NTA. But you don't have a MIL problem only, you also have a husband problem. He should be defending you,not enabling your mom to bully you at your home,or in general
Commenting on how her husband left her was a little bit of a low blow (her personality probably played a much bigger role, considering how judgemental she sounds), but NTA for standing up to her hypocrisy.
NTA. if you want to live in peace, you’re going to have to leave. son is fully on mommy’s side.
DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
seriously consider living like this the rest of your life.
get out before you lose confidence and self esteem.
This is the funniest thing ever! I can't believe (oh wait, yes I can!) she berates you for your tattoos AND she never mentioned her AND NEITHER DID YOUR HUSBAND!!! Why isn't he defending you? That's where my focus would be.
NTA
Nah.. You're not the asshole here.. Kudos and 100% respect for you to be able to muster that diabolical comeback.. Damn.. Obviously this isn't going to solve anything but it was an amazing comeback.. Perhaps let's, after this, find a more constructive means to solve this issue with the MIL..
>Not long later my husband sends me a message and told me that I was an asshole for saying that to his mom and that she was extremely ashamed of that tattoo.
Not ashamed enough to have it removed...
NTA. The bitch got what she deserved. The saying goes “don’t dish it, if you can’t take it”. A taste of her own medicine for sure. Maybe now she will keep her tramp-a*s mouth shut. She needs to remember something very important… she’s living under your roof, not the other way around. And where I’m from, that means you keep your mouth shut and be on your best behavior. And if you don’t agree with something… the door is VERY big.
She’s a hypocrite. I’m glad you served that dish nice and hot.
Game over, bitch. (Mic drop).
Both of you are the asshole.
Just putting it out there that tramp stamps can also be a sign of abuse. A controlling boyfriend or husband forcing it on through intimidation and control. An ex of mine was forced into tattoos from her ex huasband. Maybe asking her about it and why she has a hatred for tattoos despite having one instead of throwing it in her face, and bringing up a failed relationship.
NTA. You have a husband problem first and foremost. Sounds like he never shut her down when she continuously insulted you but the moment you say something in the same capacity, he berates you. This shows that he has her back, not yours. He's a fucking dick, just like his mother.
She got what she deserve. It’s not enough. For all the crappy things she’s said you should keep bringing it up. When she bends over tell her that her to please cover it up because it makes you barf just looking at it.
NTA
Your MIL has consistently disrespected you about your tattoos. After tolerating her judgments for so long, it's understandable that you finally snapped. She shouldn't dish out criticism if she can't take it herself.
Your husband should recognize the ongoing disrespect you've endured and support setting boundaries with his mother. Standing up for yourself, especially after repeated provocations, doesn't make you an asshole.
NTA, how is your husband okay with her insulting your tattoos and how you look but you make 1 comment about a badly done tattoo on her and suddenly your the AH? I'd text your husband back that he can sleep in the guest room with her since he wants to be such a mama's boy
NTA maybe she’ll think twice before she opens her big mouth again , and what does your husband do about the fact she is always trashing you to your face in your own home? If he does nothing or defends her you have a husband problem , I would also tell your husband you’re not an A hole for saying that to his mother bc of her past repeated actions towards you , that she should t dish it out if she can’t take it & she should be ashamed of that tattoo bc it’s ugly and she either straightens up or ships out and can leave and if he doesn’t like it he can go with her
There is a reason the saying "Those in glass houses should never throw stones." exists. Tell your husband that his mother is a tatted-up hypocrite and all she had to do to avoid that justified roasting was keep her nasty opinions to herself.
NTA. She got a taste of her own medicine, it’s not your fault she didn’t like it. Why is your husband allowing her to speak to you like this? You’ve got more than a MIL problem here, you’ve got a major husband problem.
The part about her husband leaving her makes you a little bit TAH. But the MIL is a total AH and you’d husband needs to tell her to stop treating you like that.
Does your husband know what his mother said to you FIRST? And that she says those things as often as she can? I certainly don't think you owe her an apology of any kind, and I'm not sure I'd want her in my home.
I don't like tatoos either, but I'm smart enough to know they're not the person.
Why doesn’t tell his mother the same thing then? That she’s an AH for talking to you that way! You’re a nicer person than me. If my MIL disrespected me CNN like yours does you, you would have told hubby that the day she moves in my home is the day I move out!
Why does your husband think she doesn’t have to respect you in your own home?
NTA
She’s living with you and thinks it’s appropriate to insult you repeatedly? She deserves to get kicked out
Also, what the heck is your husband doing? Why isn’t he telling his mom to shut up?
NTA. I think your husband is, though. He expects you to let his mom live with you and talk smack about you, but the minute you give it back to her you’re the bad guy? Nope.
Nta. Mil doesn’t get to disrespect you in your own home. Tell your husband to grow a backbone and put an end to the way she talks to you or she has to go
NTA, she’s projecting her own feelings about her tattoo onto you. She needed to be shut down. Like enough, get therapy old lady. This is not the hill this woman should be looking to die on.
NTA she kept on fucking with you then clutched her pearls when you fucked back.
Maybe she'll shut the fuck up now.
Your biggest problem is husband moving the cunt in. Why did you allow that fuckery?
Idk how she had talked to you in the past but you might be an AH… she also may have deserved it… you could’ve delivered it differently. I might have gone a similar route but not so graphic “do my tattoos make you feel like that because your ex commented about your like that?” Idk some way that would open a door for more talk. I’d apologize but not fully like… I’ve been holding back for a while and probably shouldn’t have spoke like that but after realizing you were being a hypocrite and constantly laying into me I couldn’t hold back. Do you talk to me about my tattoos because you’re projecting?
NTA. Hypocrisy is never a good look. Why did you allow her to move in with you? More importantly, why is your husband on her side and kicking off with you about mentioning her tattoo when she talks about your tattoos all the time? I’m assuming a lot here but would I be right in saying that your tattoos are actual art instead of random cheap crap? I don’t have any but my (adult) child got one last year and I would have the design done in oil and framed to hang on my wall because it’s that fucking good.
NTA but to keep peace, you need to apologize and also show that you have a weapon ... "I apologize for mentioning 'hitting from behind', 'having doggie style sex' or her ex husband leaving, when i mentioned her tramp stamp tatoo; but be advised, I'll maybe bring it up again, in public, if I find out she is talking about my tatoos. FAFO"
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. She brought this on herself for being a hypocrite.
NTA your husband on the other hand should be backing you up here and not allowing this to happen in his own home. If he doesn't curb her bullshit, you have to do it yourself.
LMAO, I mean... She did provoke you, and if she is so ashamed of her tattoo she can always do the laser thingie to erase it. Thanks for the laughter miss.
Explain your POV to your husband. She's been an asshole to you for years and years, but now when you throw some shit back at her (for what I assume is the first time) she gets pissy like a child, and has to get her son to deal with you instead of being an adult and talking to you herself.
NTA.
As is often said here on Reddit, you don't have a MIL issue so much as you have an AH husband-who-allows-his-mother-to-treat-you-like-shit-in-your-own-home issue. They both majorly suck.
NTA
NTA, I shocked a older nurse, who thought anyone with tats were trailer park trash. Then she saw mine at the pool and surprise to me her attitude towards me never changed.
NTA, she wants to be way out of line then she deserves an out of line response. Why is your husband putting up with this AND taking her side though? You’ve got a serious mommas boy might want to deal with that issue with some couples therapy or something because him not immediately squashing this issue of his mom being a complete bitch is not a good sign.
Husband’s the AH for not telling her about mama’s tattoo. Mama is projecting her anger about her tattoo onto her DIL. A little warning from hubby could have defused the situation along time ago.
NTA - tell your husband you were only fighting fire with fire and standing up for yourself.
We really need to know why she’s living with you?
Good luck!!
Your husband does not see the discrepancy here? She's been badmouthing your tattoos this whole time when she, herself, has one??? I think he needs to be knocked upside the head to see the situation for what it really is. He's protecting his mommy who is actively verbally abusing his wife! WTF??? She can dish it out but she can't take it?? Screw that noise!!
NEVER MARRY A MAMA'S BOY!!!
NTA she would keep getting that kind of treatment if she is in my House and keeps disrespecting me and the husband would CATCH HELL FOR not putting a stop to it
You are NTA, and shame on your husband for not having your back all the times your MIL ran her mouth. I read my mom the riot act a long time ago about something nasty & petty she said about my SO. I don’t know why people think they get to be so nasty to each other, especially their sons and daughters-in-law, but fuck that noise.
She’s projecting her regret about her awful faded wrinkly tattoo onto you. That’s the thing about tattoos. They look cool for the first 10-15 years and then we get old and saggy and tattoos fade and the edge lines aren’t crisp. They take upkeep and $$ to do it. But back to the topic, you’re not the AH…
I think this is hilarious and MIL deserved the low blow! Maybe if your spouse told his mommy to leave your tats alone you wouldn’t have had to resort to hit it where it hurts.
NTA, but if she’s only been there a few weeks and it’s already this bad you need to arrange a one way ticket out of that house.
Yup. My ex was a mummy boy. Through and through. However the moment his mother disrespected me, in my home, he stood by me when I kicked her out and also backed me up when I said she's never welcome back. We will go to her home etc but she won't be stepping foot through my front door again. My crime? I washed up after dinner about 2hrs after we had eaten a meal I spent over an hour cooking. Because I wanted to sit, enjoy my post meal haze and also bathe my 1yr old who painted herself with dinner, and then.. got to the dishes. Apparently a real women would have started the dishes as soon as I'd finished eating. Bitch had a dishwasher. I didn't. She had to push a button, I had to hand wash. And that's exactly what I said to her while furiously grabbing her shit together and demanding she gets in her car and goes anywhere but my home. And also for what it's worth, that dishwasher only got turned on when they went to bed... Not after the last dinner plate was put in it. She was just being an asshole and I've got absolutely no time for that behaviour.
Why didn’t your husband and MIL do the dishes while you washed the baby?
Because I had said it's fine I got this, usually he would do one or the other, but it was the first time she'd been in our home and she had been away for 7mths seeing family overseas, so I wanted he and her to have some time ya know? And before that, I liked her too... I'd known her since I was 12 and at the time I was 23. I didn't think she was an asshole or would be at all, neither did he from what I realised after I lost my absolute mind. I took chiid for a bath asap, done in about 20mins, so then I handed her the clean child to fuss over cos she was genuinely a good grandmother, she missed time with her and also her own son so... I was like DW about it, I got this, let me sit for a tad and be social type thing. In reality I could have left those dishes until the next day and nothing at all should have been said to me whatsoever, let alone him ya know? But yeah.. she done fucked it with literally one sentence in my books. And we did go to hers after, and I was the perfect DIL, got along amazingly with his father lol. Just she and I were... Polite in a way she could never bitch about unless she wanted others to pull her up on her shit. I also know for a fact the wedding portrait of theirs I had fixed and remade, is still pride of place on their family portrait wall... She will never ever escape me. And that makes me sleep so much better at night after the divorce lol 😂
I hate people like this they pretend they have ridiculously high standards that they don’t even pretend to have, but they only pretend to have them the moment im doing something and it suits them best, i have them at work and their my “manager”
That's it. Who gives a fuck shit my dishes aint done ya know? Even the ex hub knew I didn't blow up as I did then.. but within reason fair. I said sit, let me and she had a fucking thing to say in MY home. Where allowance was given cos of her Nope. Don't try it. My home, I owned. Outright. Your mother is here at my pleasure and privilege. She can get the fuck out.
Yes, either MIL needs to go or OP needs to go find a different husband who will stick up for her and respect her
OP has a husband problem.
And out of that marriage. Why did OP agree to the move in the first place if they didn't get along? Sounds like husband may have made a unilateral decision. If that's the case, definitely get the fuck out of there OP. The only reason MIL is comfortable talking to OP like that is because she knows she has her little boy wrapped around her finger. This situation will only get worse from here. OP, run. NTA
Why is MIL allowed to disrespect you in your own house? Kick that woman out.
Husbands an asshole for not tossing her before this point
Because these are the days of our lives
As the world turns.
You only have One Life To Live.
In Santa Barbara.
Be careful driving, or you may have to go to General Hospital.
I would put her in General Hospital
She’s young and restless
Like sands through the hourglasss?
Is there no “Love of Life?”
OP is young and restless and her passions got the best of her.
a guiding light will help her thru these dark shadows
NTA but why is your husband ok with MIL moving in and continuing to insult you in your home then saying what you said back was wrong? That is messed up and disrespectful.
NTA as she started this but you really need to talk with your husband about setting boundaries with MIL. Seems like he’s ok with her bullying you
Yeah why is he allowing this to happen then gaslighting you ? mil is Total bitch and I would go even lower then you. NTA
You are NTA. She should not have treated you that way, so you had the right to speak up. But… the way you said it, with the sexual reference, was a low blow and I understand why your husband is mad. It was hilarious though, and she did deserve it, however crude it was.
I am all for low blows. OP has managed to tolerate and move around MILs nonsense. I am don't fight and don't like it. But when I do, I always go for the worse possible low blow (think throwing fully weight on a standing knee kind of low blow). OP tolerated and I won't tolerate my MIL constantly telling me they don't know what their son sees in me, while condemning me for choices I made when they also made that exact choice in their past. Like I said, all for low blows, and OP smashed this one. NTA
Exactly. I'm a chill guy and I don't like to escalate negativity usually. Easier to just ignore it or leave the situation. HOWEVER, if I get pushed to the point of engaging, I IMMEDIATELY go nuclear. My first shot will either make you cry or want to fight me. I'm not gonna dance around the issue until we take deeper and deeper cuts at each other. The first thing I'm gonna do is bring up your biggest insecurity or shame and drop it right in your lap to explode in your face. And I won't feel bad one bit.
“But mother dear, sons usually marry a woman who reminds him of his mother.”
I live with my son and daughter in law, and it's comical sometimes how alike she and I are. It even surprises us sometimes, lol.
I kinda sometimes like the low blow. Its a firm signal "game over". No need for that tit-for-tat bs. NTA, though I suspect some of her animosity toward OP is projection of her shame -- and OP chose just that thing she seems most shameful of. Mike Drop
Monster in Law FAFO’d
Husband won't be hitting nothing until he gets his priorities straight. No one comes into your house and shits on you without wearing some of it. Husband better understand that. NTA
If my MIL moved into my house I would be off to the doctors to get myself tested because something has gone horribly wrong.
People like that only learn with direct crushing responses. Anything else and they keep going. Good job
NTA Tell your husband that if HE was doing his job of protecting his wife from gratuitous insults you wouldn't have had to do it yourself. Then tell him that if HE doesn't rein the bitch in you will respond ten for one with the objective of driving her out of the house in tears... --
Yeah this, OP. If he in any way cared about your relationship (at least as much as you do) he'd have told his mother to knock it the fuck off.
Your MIL moves in your house and questions what her son sees in you?? WOW..the balls on her!! Your comment was crude, but she had it coming. Why is your husband mad @ you, but Mom gets a pass?? Perhaps next time, she’ll thinking twice before she starts the bullying??!!
She FAFO NTA
Your husband is the AH for allowing a woman to berate and belittle you AND live in your home, regardless of whether that person is his mother. PS if she hates the tat she can get it removed. Why is she living with you if she hates you?
NTA. Crudeness aside, if she's extremely ashamed of her tramp stamp she shouldn't keep throwing tattoos into the conversation. Her malicious comments about your marriage, however, are another matter. Your husband should have shut this down before she ever moved in. Regardless of what he and MIL think, it is your house too and she can move out as easily as she moved in. And tell your husband that if she cannot control her mouth when drinking, it's time for her to lose the booze and head for the old folks home.
I am a if you go low, I go lower type of person. But my biggest question for you is why is your husband OK with the way your mom treats you? Why are you OK with your husband calling you an asshole for reacting to your mother treating you as she does? She’s living with you and she’s in her 60s so she could be living there for who knows how long, Right? That is what your life is going to look like at home? You redirecting or changing the subject so she doesn’t call you names and treat you like trash? That sounds exhausting to be quite honest. While I love my spouse, I love myself more. There’s absolutely no way I would allow anyone to talk to me like that much less allow them to live with me. Good luck,may you get everything you deserve
NTA - WTF did you allow her to move into your home?
Query - has MIL’s relationship broken down in the last few weeks, hence her moving in with you?
NTA, your Mil and husband certainly are though. Your husband is the worst of the 2. Kick them both out.
Not TA BUT YOUR MOTHER IN LAW AND HUSBAND ARE
NTA. She don't want none, she shouldn't start none. Your husband is an AH for letting her bash you and expecting you to keep rolling over. I'd be telling husband she needs to treat you with respect in your home, or find somewhere else to live. My grandmother used to complain about my tattoo, too. Until I pointed out that her permanent eyeliner was a tattoo.
Why is your husband such an AH??? Why do you think it’s acceptable for him to allow this?
NTA. She shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it.
NTA but why on earth is your husband allowing his mother to disrespect you? She needs to move out.
She picked the battlefield and she got shelled.
NTA FAFO you run your mouth you get a clapback
You're NTA, but your MIL is for giving you disrespect in your own goddamn house. Your husband is also a bigger asshole for not having your back.
NTA but the crude sexual reference was unnecessary; should have just said “Bold words from the lady with the hideous tramp stamp.” Still has the zinger but more or less maintaining the high road.
I dunno. Sounded like a bullseye to me. MIL keeps saying "I don't know what my son sees in you" Seems like MIL was projecting to OP what she had done in the past.
............ esh just differently levels. I think it was fine to bring up the fact she has a tattoo but how you did it was inappropriate
ESH You MIL sounds awful and I dont think there is anything wrong with pointing out hers when she point out yours but i think you went too far in how you attacked her about it, any moral high ground you had was lost in how you responded to her
Who cares about moral high ground? She's been attacking OP for years. She's a cunt and deserves worse than this minor clapback.
YTA, but sometimes, being TA is an appropriate response. To your husband: "She's constantly being an AH to me about my ink, ever since she moved in to MY house. Are you going to tell me she didn't have that coming to her"?
I definitely don't think you are the AH in this situation. But since the two of you do not get along, whose brilliant idea was it for her to move in with you and husband? This situation is only going to get worse. She is already attempting to split you and husband up, and he is siding with her instead of having your back. You need to get her out of your home before she breaks your marriage up. then you and hubby need to get some counseling to reconnect and learn healthy ways to deal with her.
Why is your husband letting this woman treat you like this!???
Nta Loves to dish it out but can’t take it in. Schooled her well. You need to correct your husband though. He can’t be tolerating you being badmouthed but then being angry when you put her in her place. That’s not being a good partner.
Time for MIL to move on.
>My MIL (60s) moved in with me and my husband (30s) a few weeks ago. >Me and the MIL always butted heads but tolerated eachother enough for family get togethers, birthdays etc. She has always disapproved of how I look and dress, especially my tattoos and brings it up every chance she gets. Why in the fuck would you let her move in? What the hell was the thought process behind this?
If she is ashamed of her tattoo, she should shut up about other people’s tattoos. NTA
mmmmmmmmmaybe she should stop berating and degrading her daughter in law. NTA. bring it up every time she belittles you over your tattoos. WITHOUT FAIL. hah.
NTA apologize but don’t apologize. “I figured it was okay to comment on your tattoo since you never pass up any opportunity to comment on mine. I’m sorry if I took it too far, as I feel differently about my tattoos than you do. Perhaps we could use this as an opportunity to make a new rule to not say anything about each other’s tattoos unless it is 100% positive and complimentary.”
What I don't get is why the husband is shitty to you as the wife and the mom is not in the wrong ? Last time I checked he married you not his mother
NTA could have been worded softer, but damn hilarious. She is taking her tattoo regerts out on you. She needs to shut it.
INFO: So when's the MIL being forcibly moved out and why isn't it yesterday? OP has a husband problem.
NTA Your hubby sure is though. He lets his mom speak to you like that??? You don't just have an MIL problem, you have a husband problem, OP.
You’re *absolutely* the AH… but only in the most magnificent way possible. Ole hypocrite had it coming to her.
Esh she obviously in the wrong but what u said was fucking disgusting
She only replied with something "disgusting" because that cunt had been talking shit to her face for years. She deserved way worse than that comment.
NTA. If she can't take it, she shouldn't dish it. The bigger issues, however, is that this is YOUR home and this is still going on and your husband isn't taking her to task over it. I would talk to him and tell him she's taken this way too far, and if she's going to stay in your home, she needs to be respectful. You handling it politely hasn't worked, so it was past time to hit back. It actually should have happened years ago.
NTA she start shit, get hit. If she was all that ashamed, she could've gotten it removed or covered. Or, she could've said how she regrets hers. Of course if she was smart, she would've just kept her damn mouth shut lol
Your hubby and MIL are TA's. This isn't going to end well OP.
Your MIL is an AH. She got the response she deserved.
Your husband is an asshole for calling you an asshole. And his mom is one too.
You are NTA sort of. No problem with you calling it out, but you went far beyond that, though, didn't you? The way you said it made you look like the asshole.
NTA Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Secondly, you should be all in your husband spineless backboned face, he never stood up for you while mil berated you over your tatts while all along knowing his mother had one. Aholes here are mil and husband.
NTA. She is one of those who can dish it out, but not take it.
Don't throw bricks if you live in a glass house. Tell your husband he should be on her ass every time she says that shit instead of getting on yours when you stand up to her. NTA
NTA. The bitch can dish it out but she can't take it.
NTA. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Your husband should be defending you as well. His mother shouldn't be judging nor berating you like that, and he should be shutting her down for doing so. Not your fault you finally got a good comeback in. If he had stepped up like a man and put his mother in her place it wouldn't have come to this.
OP has a husband problem. His mom should never have gotten to the point of being a problem. And she who has a glass house should not engage in throwing stones.
please let this be true.. that is revenge served cold !
I am at a loss as to why you allowed her to move in with you when you don’t have a good relationship with her. I wouldn’t even live in the same suburb as my MIL as she didn’t like me. Time for her to go, and your husband should be taking your side on this. Good come back on the tattoo. She has probably regretted having it done which is why she hides it and criticises your tattoos. Your body, your choice and no one gets to bitch about your choice except you. For your future peace of mind, you need to sit your husband down and talk about the whole situation before it blows up your marriage.
Sorry if this is disrespectful but is your husband a little baby bitch? Why would he allow his mother to say that to his partner?? like what a pussy
NTA she staying dude.
Why does your husband allow his mother to insult you while you both give her housing?
Your husband is an asshole for allowing his mother to speak to his wife that way. Mama would be finding another place to live if she spoke to my wife like that.
Why in the hell is she living with you when she can’t stand you? She treats you horribly and insults you in your own home.
She doesn't know what he sees in you? That's an intolerable level of disrespect, and your husband needs to take your side in this. Bro needs to decide who he wants to live with - his mean and ungrateful mom, or his wife. (Was it a mean thing to say? Yes, but she provoked and deserved it. But work on better ways to deal with her, for your own peace of mind. Locking her in the basement, maybe ... ;) )
NTA given you were dishing back what she was serving, while in your own home no less. That said, who is your husband married to?
Your mama’s boy husband needs to grow a pair and not tolerate his mom berating you if she’s going to stay in YOUR home
WTF is that woman doing in your house? No way I would agree to that with everything else that is going on so how did he convince you she needs to live with you?
I would tell your "other" (he doesn't deserve the title husband .. much less "significant ") to go fuck himself. A man who let's his mother berate his wife, but gets pissed if his wife defends herself against his mom, IN THEIR OWN HOUSE!!, Can hardly be called a man IMO.
MIL needs to move straight back out. NTA
NTA. If your husband didn’t want you to say something like that he should have spoken up and defended you. My parents get on me about mine (which is waaaaaay less than what you have) and they’re like didn’t you know what it’ll look like when you’re older? Why ruin your skin? Blah blah. Like yes I know what they’ll look like and I don’t care. When I’m 70 I’ll be perfectly satisfied to be in good health. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Which you shouldn’t even have to do in your own home, by the way.
NTA. But you don't have a MIL problem only, you also have a husband problem. He should be defending you,not enabling your mom to bully you at your home,or in general
Love how the husband refuses to defend wife but lets MIL say whatever. This is such common behavior for when in laws move in
Commenting on how her husband left her was a little bit of a low blow (her personality probably played a much bigger role, considering how judgemental she sounds), but NTA for standing up to her hypocrisy.
NTAH You have a husband problem.
NTA. if you want to live in peace, you’re going to have to leave. son is fully on mommy’s side. DO NOT GET PREGNANT. seriously consider living like this the rest of your life. get out before you lose confidence and self esteem.
NTA, and well played. Your husband is a problem, though.
This is the funniest thing ever! I can't believe (oh wait, yes I can!) she berates you for your tattoos AND she never mentioned her AND NEITHER DID YOUR HUSBAND!!! Why isn't he defending you? That's where my focus would be. NTA
Welp.... she fucked around and found out. Your husband needs to get off his mama's tit and defend his wife. Who tf cares if you have a tattoo?
Nah.. You're not the asshole here.. Kudos and 100% respect for you to be able to muster that diabolical comeback.. Damn.. Obviously this isn't going to solve anything but it was an amazing comeback.. Perhaps let's, after this, find a more constructive means to solve this issue with the MIL..
ESH You had been more than patient about her, but you could have said something without being that nasty.
>Not long later my husband sends me a message and told me that I was an asshole for saying that to his mom and that she was extremely ashamed of that tattoo. Not ashamed enough to have it removed...
NTA. The bitch got what she deserved. The saying goes “don’t dish it, if you can’t take it”. A taste of her own medicine for sure. Maybe now she will keep her tramp-a*s mouth shut. She needs to remember something very important… she’s living under your roof, not the other way around. And where I’m from, that means you keep your mouth shut and be on your best behavior. And if you don’t agree with something… the door is VERY big. She’s a hypocrite. I’m glad you served that dish nice and hot. Game over, bitch. (Mic drop).
Both of you are the asshole. Just putting it out there that tramp stamps can also be a sign of abuse. A controlling boyfriend or husband forcing it on through intimidation and control. An ex of mine was forced into tattoos from her ex huasband. Maybe asking her about it and why she has a hatred for tattoos despite having one instead of throwing it in her face, and bringing up a failed relationship.
NTA. You have a husband problem first and foremost. Sounds like he never shut her down when she continuously insulted you but the moment you say something in the same capacity, he berates you. This shows that he has her back, not yours. He's a fucking dick, just like his mother.
Tell your husband she’s a hypocrite and you will not put up with the disrespect from her
Omg I love this comeback more than any I’ve ever heard. NTA but 100 ⭐️
YTA. But she deserved it. So, definitely a W
She got what she deserve. It’s not enough. For all the crappy things she’s said you should keep bringing it up. When she bends over tell her that her to please cover it up because it makes you barf just looking at it.
NTA Your MIL has consistently disrespected you about your tattoos. After tolerating her judgments for so long, it's understandable that you finally snapped. She shouldn't dish out criticism if she can't take it herself. Your husband should recognize the ongoing disrespect you've endured and support setting boundaries with his mother. Standing up for yourself, especially after repeated provocations, doesn't make you an asshole.
She so got what she deserves and she cannot stand it!!! Love it!
NTA. You screwed up by letting her move in. Your marriage is going to go to shit if he is already siding with his Mommy.
Ntah. If you can't take it don't dish it. Simple as that. If she's ashamed of her (art) stfu
NTA, how is your husband okay with her insulting your tattoos and how you look but you make 1 comment about a badly done tattoo on her and suddenly your the AH? I'd text your husband back that he can sleep in the guest room with her since he wants to be such a mama's boy
NTA
You met her on the road she was on. NTA, but your mil and hubby?
NTA perfect case of FAFO
NTA, but now you can offer to take her to a proper artist and try to have ot fixed into something she'll love.
NTA If she can’t take it, she shouldn’t dish it out. Does your Husband stick up for you when she talks badly to you?
NTA maybe she’ll think twice before she opens her big mouth again , and what does your husband do about the fact she is always trashing you to your face in your own home? If he does nothing or defends her you have a husband problem , I would also tell your husband you’re not an A hole for saying that to his mother bc of her past repeated actions towards you , that she should t dish it out if she can’t take it & she should be ashamed of that tattoo bc it’s ugly and she either straightens up or ships out and can leave and if he doesn’t like it he can go with her
There is a reason the saying "Those in glass houses should never throw stones." exists. Tell your husband that his mother is a tatted-up hypocrite and all she had to do to avoid that justified roasting was keep her nasty opinions to herself.
Perfectly normal conversation between a woman and her mother in law. 😂 sure, this is totally real and this happened.
Payback
NTA [WILD APPLAUSE]
NTA. She got a taste of her own medicine, it’s not your fault she didn’t like it. Why is your husband allowing her to speak to you like this? You’ve got more than a MIL problem here, you’ve got a major husband problem.
The part about her husband leaving her makes you a little bit TAH. But the MIL is a total AH and you’d husband needs to tell her to stop treating you like that.
Was it a low blow? Yes. But did she have it coming? Also yes. So I vote NTA.
Does your husband know what his mother said to you FIRST? And that she says those things as often as she can? I certainly don't think you owe her an apology of any kind, and I'm not sure I'd want her in my home. I don't like tatoos either, but I'm smart enough to know they're not the person.
You people just get off on telling people to end their relationship in this sub.
NTA. Your husband needs to grow a spine and handle his mother. Why is he allowing his mother to disrespect you in your own home?
Why doesn’t tell his mother the same thing then? That she’s an AH for talking to you that way! You’re a nicer person than me. If my MIL disrespected me CNN like yours does you, you would have told hubby that the day she moves in my home is the day I move out! Why does your husband think she doesn’t have to respect you in your own home?
NTA. Don't start none, won't be none. MIL started. Now she knows why she ought not.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander
NTA She’s living with you and thinks it’s appropriate to insult you repeatedly? She deserves to get kicked out Also, what the heck is your husband doing? Why isn’t he telling his mom to shut up?
NTA. Why is she living with you??
NTA. I think your husband is, though. He expects you to let his mom live with you and talk smack about you, but the minute you give it back to her you’re the bad guy? Nope.
Nta. Mil doesn’t get to disrespect you in your own home. Tell your husband to grow a backbone and put an end to the way she talks to you or she has to go
NTA, she’s projecting her own feelings about her tattoo onto you. She needed to be shut down. Like enough, get therapy old lady. This is not the hill this woman should be looking to die on.
NTA she kept on fucking with you then clutched her pearls when you fucked back. Maybe she'll shut the fuck up now. Your biggest problem is husband moving the cunt in. Why did you allow that fuckery?
Idk how she had talked to you in the past but you might be an AH… she also may have deserved it… you could’ve delivered it differently. I might have gone a similar route but not so graphic “do my tattoos make you feel like that because your ex commented about your like that?” Idk some way that would open a door for more talk. I’d apologize but not fully like… I’ve been holding back for a while and probably shouldn’t have spoke like that but after realizing you were being a hypocrite and constantly laying into me I couldn’t hold back. Do you talk to me about my tattoos because you’re projecting?
NTA everyone has their breaking point. People should know you can’t just sit there and poke and poke and not expect to get punched!
NTA. Hypocrisy is never a good look. Why did you allow her to move in with you? More importantly, why is your husband on her side and kicking off with you about mentioning her tattoo when she talks about your tattoos all the time? I’m assuming a lot here but would I be right in saying that your tattoos are actual art instead of random cheap crap? I don’t have any but my (adult) child got one last year and I would have the design done in oil and framed to hang on my wall because it’s that fucking good.
NTA but to keep peace, you need to apologize and also show that you have a weapon ... "I apologize for mentioning 'hitting from behind', 'having doggie style sex' or her ex husband leaving, when i mentioned her tramp stamp tatoo; but be advised, I'll maybe bring it up again, in public, if I find out she is talking about my tatoos. FAFO"
NTA but your husband sucks a bag of dicks.
NTA, but are you leaving little Oedipus, or is the Monster in Law getting kicked to the curb? If you both stay, it will be hell for you.
NTAH
NTA in the least!
She is in YOUR home. You need to put your foot down NOW.
NTA. But this is a husband problem first and foremost. My husband would never allow his mother to speak to me like that.
No, just pointing out her hypocrisy.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. She brought this on herself for being a hypocrite. NTA your husband on the other hand should be backing you up here and not allowing this to happen in his own home. If he doesn't curb her bullshit, you have to do it yourself.
LMAO, I mean... She did provoke you, and if she is so ashamed of her tattoo she can always do the laser thingie to erase it. Thanks for the laughter miss.
She is a big girl and ought to be able to take it as well as dish it out. Fuck her. You are NTA
Explain your POV to your husband. She's been an asshole to you for years and years, but now when you throw some shit back at her (for what I assume is the first time) she gets pissy like a child, and has to get her son to deal with you instead of being an adult and talking to you herself. NTA.
You’re fine, but why is she still there ???
NTA, but you have a husband problem.
LMFAOOO NTA. Please get that woman out NTA
I love how you handled it 🥇
NTA . She can dish it but can’t take it.
NTA.TOO.FREAKIN’.BAD.
As is often said here on Reddit, you don't have a MIL issue so much as you have an AH husband-who-allows-his-mother-to-treat-you-like-shit-in-your-own-home issue. They both majorly suck. NTA
NTA, I shocked a older nurse, who thought anyone with tats were trailer park trash. Then she saw mine at the pool and surprise to me her attitude towards me never changed.
NTA. She fucked around and found out.
NTA, she wants to be way out of line then she deserves an out of line response. Why is your husband putting up with this AND taking her side though? You’ve got a serious mommas boy might want to deal with that issue with some couples therapy or something because him not immediately squashing this issue of his mom being a complete bitch is not a good sign.
So your husband sits there quietly while his mother insults you? She deserves it, your husband sounds like an AH.
She did get what she deserved!! You’re NTA at all! I would recommend finding her somewhere else to stay if it’s already this bad though.
You both are corny
NTA. MIL opened that can of worms. Then you fed them to her.
I just want to see your art! Nta
NTA, but I'd mention that tattoo every time she brings up yours, although I think she won't do that anymore.
Husband’s the AH for not telling her about mama’s tattoo. Mama is projecting her anger about her tattoo onto her DIL. A little warning from hubby could have defused the situation along time ago.
NTA, I love you for your clap back ❤️😂
NTA - tell your husband you were only fighting fire with fire and standing up for yourself. We really need to know why she’s living with you? Good luck!!
NTA, in fact she got off lightly, she should be thankful you didn’t kick her out.
Your husband does not see the discrepancy here? She's been badmouthing your tattoos this whole time when she, herself, has one??? I think he needs to be knocked upside the head to see the situation for what it really is. He's protecting his mommy who is actively verbally abusing his wife! WTF??? She can dish it out but she can't take it?? Screw that noise!! NEVER MARRY A MAMA'S BOY!!!
NTA she would keep getting that kind of treatment if she is in my House and keeps disrespecting me and the husband would CATCH HELL FOR not putting a stop to it
Does your bf know how your mother talks to you?
Sounds like both husband and mil need to shut the fuck up or a divorce is in order.
That’ll shut her up! Good job DIL!
NTA. But I don’t understand why she moved in if all she does is talk down to you. Maybe gift your husband some balls for the holidays?
I would have approached things differently, but you were right to bring up her tattoo, and her hypocrisy. NTA
You are NTA, and shame on your husband for not having your back all the times your MIL ran her mouth. I read my mom the riot act a long time ago about something nasty & petty she said about my SO. I don’t know why people think they get to be so nasty to each other, especially their sons and daughters-in-law, but fuck that noise.
She’s projecting her regret about her awful faded wrinkly tattoo onto you. That’s the thing about tattoos. They look cool for the first 10-15 years and then we get old and saggy and tattoos fade and the edge lines aren’t crisp. They take upkeep and $$ to do it. But back to the topic, you’re not the AH…
I think this is hilarious and MIL deserved the low blow! Maybe if your spouse told his mommy to leave your tats alone you wouldn’t have had to resort to hit it where it hurts.
NTA and good for you. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
I would never let my mom disrespect my wife or vice versa.