Okay, here’s what I think you should do-
1) Take legal action
2) Inform your employer of what transpired
3) Find out how he hacked into your work email and take measures to prevent another hacker from doing the same. The most common method of hacking is simple social engineering so be more careful with your work account, even if you are with trusted people.
4) Have a talk with your parents about how blaming you for this helps no one, and that they’re defending the person who broke one of their daughters’ heart and put the other one’s livelihood and reputation at jeopardy. Im sure, what they said came from a place of shock and confusion and that they do not actually blame you for “provoking” him.
Godspeed
He company needs to know that they are vulnerable. And you need to clear your reputation. That mark on your record will haunt your forever otherwise.
NTA.
Legal actions are a must.
Company needs to know so they can sue this insane guy. Also let the police department know, making sure you mentioned "hacked a local corporation and leaked sensitive documentation" to get their behinds in gear.
Go fucking scorched earth OP. Tell your company you want to take FULL legal action- including lawsuits for any loss of business or leaked secrets, against Mike. Tell them you want him criminally charged for anything he did to the company. Tell them that he is NOT your family and you want NO deference given- you would like their legal team to approach this as if he is a malicious intruder from a competitor, not a family member, and go full attack mode. You want them to unleash the hounds, and you personally will be doing your own legal action.
Then get a lawyer. Sue him for hacking your personal device, and for slandering your reputation. Any decent lawyer can find like 5-10 different things to sue him for, and criminal charges to request he be charged with.
FUCK MIKE. He tried to ruin your career. He deserves NO sympathy. And if any family members try to excuse him- honestly- they aren't worth your time. Go NC with the fucking lot of them if that's what it takes.
Is the the kind of person your parents really want in their family? Someone who can’t accept “no?”
What if he needs money bail his business and no one is able or willing to help and then he sabotages the family in such vile or worse way?
What if someone comes to light about him and your sister’s relationship where has to leave him, and he can’t accept?
What if their future children disagree with his want (religion, activity, career path, school choice, sexual orientation, etc.)?
This is exactly my concern. This is insanely, insanely controlling of him, and not a good sign for what would happen if your sister and he were at odds. What would he do to HER? What would he do to their KIDS, if they didn’t do what he wanted all the time. Honestly, I think this is letting your sister dodge a bullet.
(I ESPECIALLY don’t like that he did this because you didn’t put your livelihood and future into his hands. What’s next, he forces your parents to move into his basement?)
I swear some parents become obsessed with their daughters "being married" at all freaking costs, so what if he's a manipulative POS, he was willing to marry her, it's all good. Jeeze, they're acting like he was the only man in the world, they're plenty more out there.
I'm so sad *(and mad)* for OP that her parents accused her of not 'keeping the peace' over this. Like... *what?* *How the F* was OP supposed to know that her saying 'no' to his offer would result in *this? "You provoked him"-* she said 'no' in response to a yes-or-no question. She did not *'provoke'* him.
It's ridiculous that they expect OP to make life-altering decisions like this just to make family happy. That's insane.
You need to take legal action.
Not only did he commit fraud by pretending to be you he hacked your emails, leaked sensitive data and is literally ruining your life….
His actions will permanently be on your record if you don’t inform your employer clear your name asap. I’d obviously contact police and a lawyer for legal advice. Everything needs to be on record to protect yourself and your future.
That’s not how you get employees.
You’ve e done nothing wrong here, you are a victim. Don’t feel sorry for him, either. He did those things, not you. You did not provoke him by saying no, and that’s a bs thing for them to say.
NTA OP. Also any business partners he has need to know what kind of person they’re getting involved with. I wouldn’t want to go into business with someone like that. Though I know some snakes would actually find that “clever”.
I assume OP just left her laptop lying around with her work email open. He could have gotten the screen saver password by watching her or asking her for it to "check something online." Most "hacking" generally just takes advantage of someone like OP not being as careful as they should have been.
Most hacking is social engineering. Still illegal AF and dangerous for the company. No matter how he did it, she needs to report it to her company. They are open right now and that could lead to more sensitive information being leaked out of spite by that AH.
If this is how it was accomplished this would make her liable in the eyes of her company. I work in software sales and previously in retail banking and locking your computer is literally the first and most important thing conveyed.
Working with family is usually not a good idea. You politely declined. No means no. He is 100% to blame for all of this and you should definitely take legal action. NTA
I just took a peek and it looks like this is their only post and all their comment karma came from this thread. The account was opened in April, but no activity prior to this. Certainly looks like a bot.
OP parents: “you ruined your sister’s chance at a lifetime with this awesome guy who doesn’t have a job and reacted like a psycho to getting his ridiculous job offer rejected! Way to go OP!”
Yep, those kinds of morals means he'd likely be abusive in the marriage. Plus his whole "charm" thing she recounted is so reminiscent of someone really good at manipulation.
She needs to tell the company and let them take legal action. If there’s a data breach their lawyers are already in the loop on this.
Maybe if she gets fired she would have some damages she could sue him for if she can afford the lawyer but at this point it’s not worth the effort for her. Sick the company on him and make sure in the future she keeps her account and devices secure.
Yep!! Give them Mike's name and contact info, as well as all the documents you can find on his new company, and hand it all over to the management team at work.
Have sister write a statement about what she witnessed, the admission of guilt he made, and that she took it seriously enough to break off the engagement.
A tech company's legal team will have a field day with this. Mike committed some seriously illegal acts. Hacking the work email of an employee of your competitor and accessing proprietary information is FBI level bad.
I am SO SICK of families wanting wronged people to give in to "keep the peace"!!!. I see it on here all the time. Hopefully your employer believes you and things smooth out at work. I'd stay as far away from this jerk as much as you can. I'm furious for you. It's just not fair.
NTA
You're right... but what if the golden child cried? You can see how the hacker who tried to destroy her career and one of their children are both at fault.
What is it with this keep the peace bullshit? You are allowed to live your life as you see fit. You should have to cowtow to suit other people's needs (within reason)
>YTA... FAKE AI bullshit...
>
>Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just beyond belief... no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI...
>
>Detector says its 64% AI...
>
>https://www.zerogpt.com/
>
>So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post...
>
>YTA
Yeah. Not to mention somehow he "hacked" her email (how? Did she leave her computer unlocked? It is NOT easy to penetrative corporate security as a random person trying.) and then...leaked confidential info to "competitors"? Which competitors? How did he know who to reach out to to do the leaking? What secrets did he have access to that he could leak in the first place? Was he just typing in "dear John [email protected] here are some super secret informations"? Such a poorly done fake.
The telling part is half the family taking a truly absurd position that him committing fraud and getting you fired is like just desserts for .... turning down a job offer.
Also he wanted a graphic designer for a tech company because he needs creative people.... such bull.
Yes, and also. Deadlines are either missed…or they are not. And who would know better than the boss who presumably set said deadlines? Why would the boss question the work ethic of OP based on rumors and not on …OP’s work ethic?
Also Mike “looked guilty” Is confronted and immediately confesses to some pretty serious allegations, when all he has to do was not say anything?
Meh…I’m not buying
Glad I’m not the only one thinking this. This guy hacked her email and destroyed her career and the parents are mad at her? Nah, that’s just ridiculous.
Not to mention the guy showed his true colors and did OP’s sister a huge favor before it was too late for her.
Calling off the marriage was the silver lining to all of this.
Congrats to Mike for committing a federal felony that comes with serious prison time!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_Fraud_and_Abuse_Act
Do not even bother with local police. Report to the FBI directly either online or by contacting your local FBI field office.
I was about to say I was pretty sure he committed a major crime. He is going to jail. OP if your parents try to blame yo I'm and they will, tell them all to fuck off..You don't need people like that in your life, blood or otherwise.
Yea and the cfaa law is both rather broad in scope and strict with its sentencing. Aaron Swartz was charged with this and while he was also facing some wire fraud charges, he was looking at 35ish years in prison.
And in OPs post this guy legit even admitted that he did it. Lmao
The real issue here is whether;
-The online system she uses for her emails has the login attempts saved + IP addresses + device used.
-Her sisters fiancé didn’t use any form of VPN to hide his login on her account.
-He openly admits to what he’s done.
Is this a case worth chasing legally? Absolutely 100%. But it’s worthwhile to be aware that by the time any legal recourse can be taken (weeks to months). OP’s sisters fiancé can literally just get rid of the device they used tomorrow and that’s pretty much all of the evidence gone.
The first thing OP should/could be doing is demanding her employer to check the login data saved on her email account and matching that up to the emails sent in question.
They can track the pi signals and where it binged at & say if it's Google or some other web they can court order the search Engine to show anyone in that areas that login to the email at that time web history.
Call the authorities on Mike. As soon as you hang up with the authorities call your employer and explain that the authorities have been involved and what happened. Gather all the evidence you can Hire a lawyer and sue him.
Mike is insane. Your parents are insane. Why the hell would you accept a job offer from a psycho that clearly belongs in jail? So they want one daughter to be married to an insane criminal psycho stalker, and the other one working for him. What the hell is wrong with them. You're NTA at all.
Anna had a flipping lucky escape. If he could do something like this you just taker your stuff and run as far and as fast as you can. He's a chocolate-coated-nutbar.
You provided your sister an escape from a relationship that very well could have saved her life. Almost 30 years in criminal justice. You just saved her life.
If he’s willing to do this to future family before his business is off the ground what lengths will he go to in keeping the business afloat? If an employee tries to quit? He won’t be a successful business owner, he’ll be a crooked one.
I doubt a letter from her sister would be believed if that’s the only proof. She should absolutely tell the truth though and offer for them to speak to the sister if they would like to. I’m sure the company already has their lawyers involved so she might not even have to be the one to take legal action. The company has damages due to this breach and they will likely pursue the perpetrator.
She also might be punished or fired for not keeping her account secure because that’s also a possibility. Even though she didn’t do the crime herself she likely didn’t properly secure her devices. His “hacking” was likely him sitting down at her unattended computer with the password on a sticky note. I’m basing this on 20+ years IT experience and what I’ve seen in data breach events.
Agreed on all counts. I have been assuming that thr "hack" was just sloppy security. But that's the difference between being reprimanded for bad IT hygiene vs being fired and all future references being warned of your misconduct.
Absolutely. This is defamation & fraud at the minimum and you have a witness to his confession. Mike could possibly lose the equity in his company if you’re successful and there’s already evidence to support you, so there’s that. Your company might find it interesting that he admitted to hacking into their database and committing cyber crimes.
NTA. Listen to your friends, take legal action. And what is wrong with your parents? Do they want your sister to stay with someone who would break the law and potentially destroy their other daughters entire professional career because he can´t take "no" for an answer?
Edit to add: YOU didn´t cause any mess, you ex-BIL did.
Not to mention, if he was willing to do this to get her to work for him, what other illegal things is he willing to do to make his company successful and then throw her under the bus when finally caught.
Just to add to this a man who's willing to go this low to get an employee, think of what he might do to the Golden daughter if she ever tried to contradict him... The abuse implication is pretty implicit that he's willing to do bad things to keep what he wants
NTA. Take legal action. It’s not going to save your job, because ultimately you were responsible for securing your work laptop and protecting company data. But, it will help you move on to hold him accountable.
NTA. Now destroy that asshole: you need legal action to clear your name. Pull no punches and tell your parents that one more word of criticism and you'll cut them off. There's no ambiguity here.
NTA. You didn’t “provoke” anything. Mike is a pos. Take legal action and don’t you DARE go to the wedding (if she changes her mind and is dumb enough to marry him) and cut off anyone who supports this sociopath.
I also don't know why there were rumors about her being lazy and missing deadlines and getting her projects reassigned if Mike just sent emails to competitors. Where did those other rumors come from and why was the company keeping her on board while waiting to show her evidence of the corporate espionage?
And people just eat up the fake details without considering what real life is actually like.
"He hacked my work email."
What do people that that looks like? This ain't Hollywood.
graphic designer, lead designer... he wanted her at a TECH company because she's creative. Errm, nope. You wanted her to design your logo, or some merch, sure, but it's a tech company, you don't throw money at graphic designers because you need a 'creative type' a creative type in tech, is someone who creates tech, not graphic designs. But an AI not understanding the distinction, or an idiot, understandable.
It is staggeringly obvious bullshit. Straight out of a shitty TV show. Not only is she talented and in-demand because of her natural flair for creativity, but her sister is dating some tech millionaire who behaves like a character from a soap opera.
Nobody is so desperate to hire a particular person (even someone as gifted and creative as OP!) that they would "hack" into their prospective hire's company email account and spend a few weeks being an evil genius mastermind, dismantling her work reputation with skillful manipulation tactics, culminating in framing her for industrial espionage.
What kind of a tech start-up CEO has that kind of time on their hands? Is OP just like so super duper special (and creative!) that he simply couldn't have anyone else in the role, her creativity is just so dazzling the entire company hinges on having her employed? Did he even interview anyone else for the role?
This isn't how people behave in real life! It's how people behave on TV shows. Even if some millionaire tech CEO *did* decide to go down this route, this is the kind of plan you could only pull off in a TV show.
All the time this was happening, none of OPs colleagues came up and said "Hey, you never responded to my email/What was up with that weird email you sent?/Is everything okay? You're the most creative person I've ever worked with, but there's some weird shit going on with your email, I keep getting messages that don't read like you wrote them, you might want to look into that. God you're just so creative!"
Nobody would say anything like that in a TV show, because the plot needs to happen. But in real life, if your creative genius colleague suddenly starts acting completely out of character - but only over email, while remaining normal IRL, someone would *definitely* speak to her about it.
This story is 100% bullshit and probably written by a teenager who has never had a job before and doesn't like her big sister's boyfriend.
Yeah my alarm bells were ringing as soon as she said she was 23 but been working in graphic design for 3 years already at a prestigious company. So a prestigious company hired her with no college degree? Unlikely, though not impossible. She had to "work her ass off", but at 20 years old what could you possibly have for a professional portfolio for a company to even look your way?
Source: I work in the same field for the past 7 years.
Agreed. This alone makes me think it's all fake. BUT then add on the insanity of the actual story and I'm like, uh no. To think OP would not IMMEDIATELY go to the authorities and is torn about it at all is super unrealistic to me.
Yeah, she got her dream job in GRAPHIC DESIGN at 20, before most people graduate.
And this smart, likable guy who is able to offer her all this money and can't find anyone else to fill the roll and has to resort to "hacking".
This is so beyond fake it's ridiculous.
YTA... FAKE AI bullshit...
Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just completely beyond belief... then no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI...
Detector says its 64% AI...
https://www.zerogpt.com/
So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post...
YTA
Even the character tropes are lazy, stale AITAH fare. The everpresent GoLdEn cHiLd sibling, and some guy related romantically to someone in the story who's wonderful and perfect and just happens to do something immoral/criminal.
Lol I just noticed that!! Yeah in this context it didn't even make sense to mention that "Anna" was a golden child since she was the one being supportive of OP.
For fuck's sake OP, you can't do anything right.
And while you're doing that also keep in mind that there's no requirement to disclose a breach unless confidential customer data has been compromised. If a breach is discovered and there's no evidence that customer data was disclosed there is no legal requirement to notify anyone.
Companies accidentally leave data unprotected and systems open to the world all the time. There's a reason why cyber security experts are always grumpy.
I am calling fake. So this guy was able to somehow get into her emails and fake that she was leaking confidential information? What was so special about her that he needed her to work with him to where he would do this? More importantly, what family is divided over this? Who would think she should have taken the job to get keep the peace? I don’t know anyone in my family who wouldn’t be furious with this guy. Also, how low is your self-esteem that you are wondering if you are the AH? This whole story is completely stupid.
No, you don't understand though he looked guilty, and she was able to sus it out that it was him after he started rumors at her own job against her. Also, spelling errors in the responses and no post history. Karma farming at its finest.
Yeah this has red flags all over it for being fake.
For one thing, most major companies issue a laptop, and you often can’t access any of the information infrastructure without that device. Many also force two factor authentication, PIV cards, or other secure login methods. So if you still manage to let a “hacker” in then your probably irresponsible enough to be let go anyway.
Also, just having access to her email probably wouldn’t be enough to do this kind of damage. Again, large companies are usually using OneDrive, Dropbox, etc to store and share files. That would be especially true of a graphics design company. Very unlikely that they’re emailing around gigabytes of images to each other. And even if they are, they’re probably not marking certain ones as “TOP SECRET!! BIG SENSITIVE!!! DONT SHARE IT!!!!” How would this guy even know what info to leak?
Honestly where do you people get this low-effort bullshit? Jesus.
Next time you try to pass a story off as real, consider not writing one where in real life the protagonist would be taking legal action and easily getting a fat windfall in damages, not asking Reddit if they're the asshole for rejecting a job offer.
In the meantime, please go f yourself.
My favorite part is when the fiancé, after using her work email to leak information to competitors, presumably showed up at the office wearing a fake mustache to spread rumors about her being lazy.
Either that, or he also emailed colleagues saying "I am lazy. Spread the word." Either sounds just as believable as the rest of it.
"No! She can't reject me! She's irreplaceable! My new company won't last a year without her genius "design" contributions! Well... I'll show her, hehehe. It's time for me to use my hacking skills once again. By day, I am but a mild mannered, millionaire tech CEO who is about to get married and launch a new company. But at night, I become... The Hackerman! Scourge of security systems, the Duke of data theft! Using my hacking powers I will take over her email account and ruin her reputation! Mwahahaha! That fool will never see me coming! And once her professional reputation is in tatters, why, she'll have no choice but to come and work for me.... Mwahahaha! Yes, yes, come to me, my pretty! Come and work for me, gift me your powers of design! Gift them to me!"
Fucking cartoon villains. No I remember when the liars on here actually put a bit of effort in.
Your parents and Mike are the AH here. You didn't "provoke" him. You turned down an offer that you WERE NEVER OBLIGATED TO ACCEPT. He broke the law and should be punished for it.
WTF, this is so obviously fake!
1. How can "rumors" that she is missing the deadlines affect her actual job? Did she miss the deadlines, If not how would this Mike guy persuade her boss that she did!
2. Mike hacking her email? How would he be able to do that? It is not that easy hacking someones email. And even if he did, how would he know where to send emails and about what, in order to make her seem guilty? She says that the hacked emails contained "confidential information to a competitor". If the information was confidential how Mike would know about it?
3. In what world would she have questions about HER being an asshole in this situation! Come on! Her parents blaming her?
Yeah, right!
Looks like creative writing to me. What kinds of parents blame their own daughter for not taking a freaking job offer for her own good just to “keep the peace” with their future SIL? Also who the fuck would know this guy is such a petty pos who can’t take no for an answer?
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this is fictional.
Most graphic designers at prestigious companies have college degrees. I don't know about anyone else's work emails, but we have 2-party verification for signing onto email just so no one hacks our accounts. And if wannabe BIL ruined her reputation, what would be the point of hiring her? "Rumors" about missing deadlines don't matter when people actually make deadlines. And "slacking off" isn't believable when people produce the work. This is not how rumors actually work.
Finally, how would BIL know the "confidential information" she supposedly leaked to a competitor? How would he know what to put in an email? Too many questions for me to take this one at face value.
It's interesting how a "graphic designer" is essential to his tech startup and not a "UX/UI designer" or a "product designer" who could actually design and test his digital product. This story is ludicrous for someone who works in tech as a designer. These disciplines have differences.
There is no way this real. Any corporate IT would be able to track and figure out where and when the email was logged into. Also, how would the guy know what to leak? Fake fan fiction! Stop wasting our time.
**YTA... FAKE AI bullshit...**
Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just beyond belief... no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI...
Detector says its 64% AI...
[https://www.zerogpt.com/](https://www.zerogpt.com/)
So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post...
YTA
Hey, my soon to be bil commited crimes to destroy my work but the first thing i do is running to reddit to ask if i am the asshole... com'on, which level of creative writing are we supposed to believe? There are tons of subs, where ppl like OP may seek for advice, but it is always AITAH who gets those fakes.
Completely fake just in the job claim. I’ve worked for more than two decades as a designer and creative director, including a stop at a ‘prestigious’ agency, and have a Cannes Lion on my CV to show for it. They don’t hire 20-year olds who have ‘worked their ass off,’ because there’s nothing special at creative agencies about working your ass off. If you don’t have a degree or an extensive work history, maybe you can talk someone into an internship, but realistically that’s it. If you just show up asking to be hired with an epic portfolio but no training or references to back it up, they assume you’re a poser who is stealing work from established pros and toss your application in the trash. *That* I’ve seen happen lots of times.
fake, how would he know what confidential information to put in your email that he 'sent' to a competitor
how would he know people at your company and be able to start rumors?
Professor here. I routinely check work for AI and did so for this post and another poster suggested it was fake. The detector said it was generated by AI.
Working at a "prestigious company" that lacks proper protection for your email as well as your computer?
Yeah Cybersecurity 101.
I call bullshit on this fake story.
So fake.
He “hacked” into your email? Your email would get locked out after a dozen or so failed attempts, and if he used security questions to “recover” the password he still wouldn’t see your old password and YOU would be the one who got locked out after he created a new one.
And in what universe does anyone share their email password with the future BIL?
NTA. Go scorched earth ON EVERYONE. Restore your reputation, get your money's worth, then leave that company. Instead of looking into it or discussing suspicions with you, they just ostracized you. You can't trust that company, you probably can even sue the company as well.
Or, they pay hush money for THEIR reputation. If they're that gung ho about security and leaking info, then why didn't they do anything to look into it where I'm sure they'd find out you got hacked. Because chances are, they use their "security" as a selling point for big contracts.
And unless you send an employee wide email setting the record straight, which you don't need to and shouldn't have to, whispers will still continue after all this.
Your parents need to face some consequences here. They are furious with him, but only furious? He could potentially ruin your lively hood and financially and they are mad at you for provoking him? That man should be thrown to the wolves and every member of the family should be behind you. Let me guess, big family cone first kinda folk? Nope, they need to feel some shame.
Girl what. This should have resulted in you immediately contacting a lawyer and the police.
Your sister’s ex did something highly illegal that affected your job, and your family needs to pull their heads out of their collective butt to address the fact that scapegoating you for illegal acts committed by another person is utterly insane. They are unhinged.
If you have a way to go LC or NC with them for the time being, it might be a good idea.
I’m so sorry they’re putting you through this. You did everything right here - can you imagine how much worse things would’ve gone for you if you’d started working for someone like him?! Please go talk to the police immediately. And a lawyer!
NTA.
First thing: get Mike to write a letter indicating that he did these things. Send it to your HR department. Then go to the cops. The dude committed a crime, and he also committed a wrongful act against you (a tort).
WTF is up with your parents? You didn't provoke him by making your own career choices. Go to work for Mike? Fuck no, you should sue Mike and *own* his company.
If he would do this to get you on board, I'm pretty sure his new gig is just a scam. The fact that he defaulted to criminal behaviour immediately when rejected speaks volumes about his character.
I am definitely curious as to how he managed to hack your work email.
Beyond that though you need to hit him with all the recourse you can to save your career. u/BickWik is pretty bang on about what you need to do. Legal action 1000%.
He literally tried to ruin you to get you. Is he this kind of person in his relationship too? All the red flags.
Your parents need to stop victim blaming YOU. Would they also blame themselves if someone sabotaged their professional reputation and harmed their ability to earn a living?
>are also blaming me for “provoking” him by rejecting his offer. They think I should have just accepted the job to keep the peace.
Man,fuck your parents.... how stupid do you have to be to think that you were provoking him?....
A woman says *no* to a guy so he commits a crime & attacks her. Now that woman is questioning herself, saying maybe she shouldn't have said no to keep the peace. Sound familiar?
NTA. I would look into filing charges against him. Defamation, slander, hacking, whatever. Your sister dodged a bullet. This guy goes off the rails when he hears the word no.
Obviously NTA. HOWEVER, please please please don't ignore your parents complicity in this. It seems pretty obvious that they don't view what he did as a problem. Do you leave a computer logged in at your parents place? Do they know any of your passwords? Could they have helped him with this? It seems like there are more than a few red flags with how quickly they dismissed his attempts to literally destroy your career.
Wow so not only did he commit the whole suite of slander and fraud, but he admitted to the one thing that is ridiculously hard to prove in any libel/slander case: Intent.
Sue that ass
NTA. Don't be scared, take legal action. What he did was illegal. He's putting you in a position to be fired and also be sued by your workplace. Don't take any chances of doing nothing, this is your livelihood. Is your family going to help you if you have no job and are job hunting or if you might get sued? You need to save yourself because at the end of the day the most important person in this situation is yourself and not your parents nor Mike. Inform your boss about what happened.
NTA I would take legal actions as well just to save your job. Like actually press charges on him for fraud and stealing documents. Because that is literally what he did. Go to your boss and explain to him what happened (though depending on the company that might not save your job). But they should be fairly understanding and hacking attempts happen. So whilst you messed up by noticing that he was doing these things like sending emails. But ultimately it was the action of someone else and you should be fine. But make sure to tell your boss you are looking into legal action against the hacker and have already reported him. That will help your case a tonne more when there is actual proof of what your BiL did.
Your parents just suck overall. You dont take nebulous job offers where he would have likely worked you like a dog. Just to "keep the peace" your ex-BIL should have taken no for an answer. I would reiterate the damage he has done to your job and any future prospects to your parents. That he is an adult man and should be able to take a professional no as an answer. That even if you didnt have a job the way he went about trying to coerce you into working for him was shady as hell. And vocalize this part that they wanted you to give up a lucrative job which you know for some unknown start up. To keep the peace. Peace is not worth it if the end result is you in a worse place with the likelyhood of you being jobless in a couple of months when he no longer needs a designer or you or your sister crosses him.
But beyond that you said no directly and told him you did not want the job. The whole fact that he couldn't accept is ... worrisome. Well atleast your sister is not marrying him but ... god help who ever next falls into his sight. Ask your parents if they want your sister married to someone who does not know the meaning of no and would do illegal stuff in order to get that yes. (That might get through to them more if your sister is the golden child) And about the potential abuse and etc she would have been put under.
Remember this is not the great guy you know. This is a jerk who hacked your accounts to impersonate you. In order to get you fired. And just note getting fired with a mark on your resume that you were dishonest and a problem employee who leaked confidential information will have lasting consequences and maybe could get you blacklisted from the industry if you do not clear your name legally. Beyond this current job. It will make it harder for you to get jobs in the future as well. This is some seriously unhinged behavior.
Your former employer needs to be made aware of this ASAP as all those emails are now evidence.
It should also be noted that the email source is baked into the device that sent it, so their IT department should be able to sus out the fraudulent emails fairly quickly.
No, you’re not. you had your dream job his was a brand new position with a brand new company with a brand new person. Yes you should sue his ass for losing your job. Maybe you can get it back after a police report showing that he hacked your account.
NTA and you know it. If that is how the guy handles obstacles, all of you would have eventually found out how manipulative the guy is. You just saved your sister and yourself from several wasted years.
You need to take legal action immediately. What he did can ruin your career forever. Go straight to your employer and tell them everything. That someone tried to poach you and you rejected them so they hacked your account to hurt you and the company. You company might also take legal action here. This is extremely important this is not some joke you may never get a decent job again because of what he did, especially if your employer does not learn the truth.
Okay, here’s what I think you should do- 1) Take legal action 2) Inform your employer of what transpired 3) Find out how he hacked into your work email and take measures to prevent another hacker from doing the same. The most common method of hacking is simple social engineering so be more careful with your work account, even if you are with trusted people. 4) Have a talk with your parents about how blaming you for this helps no one, and that they’re defending the person who broke one of their daughters’ heart and put the other one’s livelihood and reputation at jeopardy. Im sure, what they said came from a place of shock and confusion and that they do not actually blame you for “provoking” him. Godspeed
He company needs to know that they are vulnerable. And you need to clear your reputation. That mark on your record will haunt your forever otherwise. NTA. Legal actions are a must.
Company needs to know so they can sue this insane guy. Also let the police department know, making sure you mentioned "hacked a local corporation and leaked sensitive documentation" to get their behinds in gear.
I totally agree with you
Go fucking scorched earth OP. Tell your company you want to take FULL legal action- including lawsuits for any loss of business or leaked secrets, against Mike. Tell them you want him criminally charged for anything he did to the company. Tell them that he is NOT your family and you want NO deference given- you would like their legal team to approach this as if he is a malicious intruder from a competitor, not a family member, and go full attack mode. You want them to unleash the hounds, and you personally will be doing your own legal action. Then get a lawyer. Sue him for hacking your personal device, and for slandering your reputation. Any decent lawyer can find like 5-10 different things to sue him for, and criminal charges to request he be charged with. FUCK MIKE. He tried to ruin your career. He deserves NO sympathy. And if any family members try to excuse him- honestly- they aren't worth your time. Go NC with the fucking lot of them if that's what it takes.
Is the the kind of person your parents really want in their family? Someone who can’t accept “no?” What if he needs money bail his business and no one is able or willing to help and then he sabotages the family in such vile or worse way? What if someone comes to light about him and your sister’s relationship where has to leave him, and he can’t accept? What if their future children disagree with his want (religion, activity, career path, school choice, sexual orientation, etc.)?
This is exactly my concern. This is insanely, insanely controlling of him, and not a good sign for what would happen if your sister and he were at odds. What would he do to HER? What would he do to their KIDS, if they didn’t do what he wanted all the time. Honestly, I think this is letting your sister dodge a bullet. (I ESPECIALLY don’t like that he did this because you didn’t put your livelihood and future into his hands. What’s next, he forces your parents to move into his basement?)
Your parents are disturbed that, acting from your own integrity, you exposed sociopathic actions of your dear sister's fiance????? WTAF
I swear some parents become obsessed with their daughters "being married" at all freaking costs, so what if he's a manipulative POS, he was willing to marry her, it's all good. Jeeze, they're acting like he was the only man in the world, they're plenty more out there.
But oh, if their daughters don't marry, how ever will the family move up in the world? There just ain't nearly enough eligible bachelors no more /s
It’s like an episode of Bridgerton.
I'm so sad *(and mad)* for OP that her parents accused her of not 'keeping the peace' over this. Like... *what?* *How the F* was OP supposed to know that her saying 'no' to his offer would result in *this? "You provoked him"-* she said 'no' in response to a yes-or-no question. She did not *'provoke'* him. It's ridiculous that they expect OP to make life-altering decisions like this just to make family happy. That's insane.
also, please keep us updated of this insane shit
Take legal action now!
NTA And your sister is absolutely amazing! ❤️
Go get him!!! Updateme
You need to take legal action. Not only did he commit fraud by pretending to be you he hacked your emails, leaked sensitive data and is literally ruining your life…. His actions will permanently be on your record if you don’t inform your employer clear your name asap. I’d obviously contact police and a lawyer for legal advice. Everything needs to be on record to protect yourself and your future. That’s not how you get employees. You’ve e done nothing wrong here, you are a victim. Don’t feel sorry for him, either. He did those things, not you. You did not provoke him by saying no, and that’s a bs thing for them to say.
NTA OP. Also any business partners he has need to know what kind of person they’re getting involved with. I wouldn’t want to go into business with someone like that. Though I know some snakes would actually find that “clever”.
I assume OP just left her laptop lying around with her work email open. He could have gotten the screen saver password by watching her or asking her for it to "check something online." Most "hacking" generally just takes advantage of someone like OP not being as careful as they should have been.
Or her security questions were things like childhood pet or mother’s maiden name, which he could’ve learned from her sister.
Most likely this
Most hacking is social engineering. Still illegal AF and dangerous for the company. No matter how he did it, she needs to report it to her company. They are open right now and that could lead to more sensitive information being leaked out of spite by that AH.
If this is how it was accomplished this would make her liable in the eyes of her company. I work in software sales and previously in retail banking and locking your computer is literally the first and most important thing conveyed.
Working with family is usually not a good idea. You politely declined. No means no. He is 100% to blame for all of this and you should definitely take legal action. NTA
Same. If I like someone, I don't do business w them.
Yeah your right , will never work with family again
Again?
This post is probably AI and that is the bot making a mistake. That account is fake
I just took a peek and it looks like this is their only post and all their comment karma came from this thread. The account was opened in April, but no activity prior to this. Certainly looks like a bot.
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Hey, just change your ENTIRE CAREER TRAJECTORY, not to mention, take a big risk on job security TO KEEP THE FUCKING PEACE, OP!!!!
OP parents: “you ruined your sister’s chance at a lifetime with this awesome guy who doesn’t have a job and reacted like a psycho to getting his ridiculous job offer rejected! Way to go OP!”
Right?? Like if this guy acts like this over her turning down a job offer what else does he or would he do to manipulate people and get his way?
Ikr? I think she saved her sister in many ways.
THIS!! Sis got lucky he showed his true colors and good for her for breaking it off
Yep, those kinds of morals means he'd likely be abusive in the marriage. Plus his whole "charm" thing she recounted is so reminiscent of someone really good at manipulation.
This really is a chilling story. It almost like A lifetime move plot his behavior was so outrageous
You need your sister to corroborate the truth that her Ex, hacked your e-mail
Did the sister break up with Mike? I missed that somewhere...?
Yes she said her sister was horrified and broke up on the spot.
Corroborate*
She needs to tell the company and let them take legal action. If there’s a data breach their lawyers are already in the loop on this. Maybe if she gets fired she would have some damages she could sue him for if she can afford the lawyer but at this point it’s not worth the effort for her. Sick the company on him and make sure in the future she keeps her account and devices secure.
Yep!! Give them Mike's name and contact info, as well as all the documents you can find on his new company, and hand it all over to the management team at work. Have sister write a statement about what she witnessed, the admission of guilt he made, and that she took it seriously enough to break off the engagement. A tech company's legal team will have a field day with this. Mike committed some seriously illegal acts. Hacking the work email of an employee of your competitor and accessing proprietary information is FBI level bad.
she already has damages. she was suspended and her reputation is shot.
I am SO SICK of families wanting wronged people to give in to "keep the peace"!!!. I see it on here all the time. Hopefully your employer believes you and things smooth out at work. I'd stay as far away from this jerk as much as you can. I'm furious for you. It's just not fair. NTA
....unless he's the Golden Child that can do no wrong, in which case there's no changing the parents' views.
I’m hoping for an update from the OP regarding that, but I believe that her parents will take her side over some random their daughter brought home
You're right... but what if the golden child cried? You can see how the hacker who tried to destroy her career and one of their children are both at fault.
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I'd be furious at my employer that they'd think so little of me that I'd use the fucking company email to leaking confidential info.
What is it with this keep the peace bullshit? You are allowed to live your life as you see fit. You should have to cowtow to suit other people's needs (within reason)
Right? I'm of the opinion that I have no obligation to keep a peace I did not break.
>YTA... FAKE AI bullshit... > >Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just beyond belief... no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI... > >Detector says its 64% AI... > >https://www.zerogpt.com/ > >So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post... > >YTA
I paused when OP said she was 23 and got a job 3 years prior at a prestigious company as a graphic designer.
Yeah. Not to mention somehow he "hacked" her email (how? Did she leave her computer unlocked? It is NOT easy to penetrative corporate security as a random person trying.) and then...leaked confidential info to "competitors"? Which competitors? How did he know who to reach out to to do the leaking? What secrets did he have access to that he could leak in the first place? Was he just typing in "dear John [email protected] here are some super secret informations"? Such a poorly done fake.
I would love to see somebody hack my corporate email. The idea of a random person accomplishing this amuses me.
I’ll 2nd your BS call. Hacking an account just doesn’t sound realistic.
The telling part is half the family taking a truly absurd position that him committing fraud and getting you fired is like just desserts for .... turning down a job offer. Also he wanted a graphic designer for a tech company because he needs creative people.... such bull.
This story sounds weird plus no comments by OP made me suspicious.
Yes, and also. Deadlines are either missed…or they are not. And who would know better than the boss who presumably set said deadlines? Why would the boss question the work ethic of OP based on rumors and not on …OP’s work ethic? Also Mike “looked guilty” Is confronted and immediately confesses to some pretty serious allegations, when all he has to do was not say anything? Meh…I’m not buying
Glad I’m not the only one thinking this. This guy hacked her email and destroyed her career and the parents are mad at her? Nah, that’s just ridiculous.
I agree, for reasons I just put above.
And, to paraphrase Taylor Swift, no matter what he does, you’re Never Ever Going To Work For Him!
Not to mention the guy showed his true colors and did OP’s sister a huge favor before it was too late for her. Calling off the marriage was the silver lining to all of this.
Thanks for your advise
👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾
They are defending a felon
Congrats to Mike for committing a federal felony that comes with serious prison time! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_Fraud_and_Abuse_Act Do not even bother with local police. Report to the FBI directly either online or by contacting your local FBI field office.
I was about to say I was pretty sure he committed a major crime. He is going to jail. OP if your parents try to blame yo I'm and they will, tell them all to fuck off..You don't need people like that in your life, blood or otherwise.
Yea and the cfaa law is both rather broad in scope and strict with its sentencing. Aaron Swartz was charged with this and while he was also facing some wire fraud charges, he was looking at 35ish years in prison. And in OPs post this guy legit even admitted that he did it. Lmao
Yes! This needs to be done now!
The real issue here is whether; -The online system she uses for her emails has the login attempts saved + IP addresses + device used. -Her sisters fiancé didn’t use any form of VPN to hide his login on her account. -He openly admits to what he’s done. Is this a case worth chasing legally? Absolutely 100%. But it’s worthwhile to be aware that by the time any legal recourse can be taken (weeks to months). OP’s sisters fiancé can literally just get rid of the device they used tomorrow and that’s pretty much all of the evidence gone. The first thing OP should/could be doing is demanding her employer to check the login data saved on her email account and matching that up to the emails sent in question.
They can track the pi signals and where it binged at & say if it's Google or some other web they can court order the search Engine to show anyone in that areas that login to the email at that time web history.
Call the authorities on Mike. As soon as you hang up with the authorities call your employer and explain that the authorities have been involved and what happened. Gather all the evidence you can Hire a lawyer and sue him.
Mike is insane. Your parents are insane. Why the hell would you accept a job offer from a psycho that clearly belongs in jail? So they want one daughter to be married to an insane criminal psycho stalker, and the other one working for him. What the hell is wrong with them. You're NTA at all.
Anna had a flipping lucky escape. If he could do something like this you just taker your stuff and run as far and as fast as you can. He's a chocolate-coated-nutbar.
You provided your sister an escape from a relationship that very well could have saved her life. Almost 30 years in criminal justice. You just saved her life.
All I read in the parents' response was: "If you had just done what he wanted, he wouldn't have violently raped you". The sister dodged a nuke.
If he’s willing to do this to future family before his business is off the ground what lengths will he go to in keeping the business afloat? If an employee tries to quit? He won’t be a successful business owner, he’ll be a crooked one.
I can't believe half this stuff on this god forsaken site.
Yup....reporting it and lawyer up. He's done lasting damage to your character which could follow you around for years to come!
Totally Agree.
This. And get a statement from your sister about what happened, and give it to your employer.
I doubt a letter from her sister would be believed if that’s the only proof. She should absolutely tell the truth though and offer for them to speak to the sister if they would like to. I’m sure the company already has their lawyers involved so she might not even have to be the one to take legal action. The company has damages due to this breach and they will likely pursue the perpetrator. She also might be punished or fired for not keeping her account secure because that’s also a possibility. Even though she didn’t do the crime herself she likely didn’t properly secure her devices. His “hacking” was likely him sitting down at her unattended computer with the password on a sticky note. I’m basing this on 20+ years IT experience and what I’ve seen in data breach events.
Agreed on all counts. I have been assuming that thr "hack" was just sloppy security. But that's the difference between being reprimanded for bad IT hygiene vs being fired and all future references being warned of your misconduct.
Absolutely. This is defamation & fraud at the minimum and you have a witness to his confession. Mike could possibly lose the equity in his company if you’re successful and there’s already evidence to support you, so there’s that. Your company might find it interesting that he admitted to hacking into their database and committing cyber crimes.
NTA. Listen to your friends, take legal action. And what is wrong with your parents? Do they want your sister to stay with someone who would break the law and potentially destroy their other daughters entire professional career because he can´t take "no" for an answer? Edit to add: YOU didn´t cause any mess, you ex-BIL did.
Not to mention, if he was willing to do this to get her to work for him, what other illegal things is he willing to do to make his company successful and then throw her under the bus when finally caught.
Just to add to this a man who's willing to go this low to get an employee, think of what he might do to the Golden daughter if she ever tried to contradict him... The abuse implication is pretty implicit that he's willing to do bad things to keep what he wants
Mike is the kind of guy who would do anything to get what he wanted. He's the kind of guy who would commit title theft to steal his parents home.
NTA and take legal action!
They should try to take all the money Mike has
NTA. Take legal action. It’s not going to save your job, because ultimately you were responsible for securing your work laptop and protecting company data. But, it will help you move on to hold him accountable.
We have no indication that OP didn't secure her work laptop or lost company data. Hacking doesn't require her laptop.
Less believable than the script to days of our lives
NTA. Now destroy that asshole: you need legal action to clear your name. Pull no punches and tell your parents that one more word of criticism and you'll cut them off. There's no ambiguity here.
NTA. You didn’t “provoke” anything. Mike is a pos. Take legal action and don’t you DARE go to the wedding (if she changes her mind and is dumb enough to marry him) and cut off anyone who supports this sociopath.
AI written rage bait
This feels like rage bait. A prestigious company whose network security and firewalls are not that great if a random person can hack into it?
I also don't know why there were rumors about her being lazy and missing deadlines and getting her projects reassigned if Mike just sent emails to competitors. Where did those other rumors come from and why was the company keeping her on board while waiting to show her evidence of the corporate espionage?
That's the thing with these fake stories, the details aren't thought through at all. It's so fucking obnoxious.
And people just eat up the fake details without considering what real life is actually like. "He hacked my work email." What do people that that looks like? This ain't Hollywood.
Everything I need to know about hacking I learned from the movie Swordfish so I assume Mike had at least a good time while doing it.
graphic designer, lead designer... he wanted her at a TECH company because she's creative. Errm, nope. You wanted her to design your logo, or some merch, sure, but it's a tech company, you don't throw money at graphic designers because you need a 'creative type' a creative type in tech, is someone who creates tech, not graphic designs. But an AI not understanding the distinction, or an idiot, understandable.
Also how are there rumors of her missing deadlines if she wasn't actually missing deadlines?
yeah, a deadline is usually an actual date. Project is on time delivery or not. This story is made up.
It is staggeringly obvious bullshit. Straight out of a shitty TV show. Not only is she talented and in-demand because of her natural flair for creativity, but her sister is dating some tech millionaire who behaves like a character from a soap opera. Nobody is so desperate to hire a particular person (even someone as gifted and creative as OP!) that they would "hack" into their prospective hire's company email account and spend a few weeks being an evil genius mastermind, dismantling her work reputation with skillful manipulation tactics, culminating in framing her for industrial espionage. What kind of a tech start-up CEO has that kind of time on their hands? Is OP just like so super duper special (and creative!) that he simply couldn't have anyone else in the role, her creativity is just so dazzling the entire company hinges on having her employed? Did he even interview anyone else for the role? This isn't how people behave in real life! It's how people behave on TV shows. Even if some millionaire tech CEO *did* decide to go down this route, this is the kind of plan you could only pull off in a TV show. All the time this was happening, none of OPs colleagues came up and said "Hey, you never responded to my email/What was up with that weird email you sent?/Is everything okay? You're the most creative person I've ever worked with, but there's some weird shit going on with your email, I keep getting messages that don't read like you wrote them, you might want to look into that. God you're just so creative!" Nobody would say anything like that in a TV show, because the plot needs to happen. But in real life, if your creative genius colleague suddenly starts acting completely out of character - but only over email, while remaining normal IRL, someone would *definitely* speak to her about it. This story is 100% bullshit and probably written by a teenager who has never had a job before and doesn't like her big sister's boyfriend.
Yeah my alarm bells were ringing as soon as she said she was 23 but been working in graphic design for 3 years already at a prestigious company. So a prestigious company hired her with no college degree? Unlikely, though not impossible. She had to "work her ass off", but at 20 years old what could you possibly have for a professional portfolio for a company to even look your way? Source: I work in the same field for the past 7 years.
Same, and also at that age with that level of experience I'd expect her to be a junior at best, no way she'd be given "lead designer" on a project
Agreed. This alone makes me think it's all fake. BUT then add on the insanity of the actual story and I'm like, uh no. To think OP would not IMMEDIATELY go to the authorities and is torn about it at all is super unrealistic to me.
I scrolled a lot further than I expected for this comment. 23, prestigious firm that is easily hacked. sure thing!!
Yeah, she got her dream job in GRAPHIC DESIGN at 20, before most people graduate. And this smart, likable guy who is able to offer her all this money and can't find anyone else to fill the roll and has to resort to "hacking". This is so beyond fake it's ridiculous.
Not to mention he was so desperate for her to work for him he sabotaged her professional reputation? That doesn’t even make sense 😆
YTA... FAKE AI bullshit... Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just completely beyond belief... then no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI... Detector says its 64% AI... https://www.zerogpt.com/ So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post... YTA
Yup, 300 something Karma…. It’s karma farming. OP YTA.
I feel like this is bits and pieces of books I have read this year. Not exaggerating.
Not sure how anyone can read this and believe it. Obvious fiction.
Even the character tropes are lazy, stale AITAH fare. The everpresent GoLdEn cHiLd sibling, and some guy related romantically to someone in the story who's wonderful and perfect and just happens to do something immoral/criminal.
They misused the term golden child to mean “actually pretty awesome”, lol
Lol I just noticed that!! Yeah in this context it didn't even make sense to mention that "Anna" was a golden child since she was the one being supportive of OP. For fuck's sake OP, you can't do anything right.
Just for fun, do an internet search of ‘company’ and ‘breach’.
And while you're doing that also keep in mind that there's no requirement to disclose a breach unless confidential customer data has been compromised. If a breach is discovered and there's no evidence that customer data was disclosed there is no legal requirement to notify anyone. Companies accidentally leave data unprotected and systems open to the world all the time. There's a reason why cyber security experts are always grumpy.
And he just looked guilty....and then admitted to everything right there. LOL.
I am calling fake. So this guy was able to somehow get into her emails and fake that she was leaking confidential information? What was so special about her that he needed her to work with him to where he would do this? More importantly, what family is divided over this? Who would think she should have taken the job to get keep the peace? I don’t know anyone in my family who wouldn’t be furious with this guy. Also, how low is your self-esteem that you are wondering if you are the AH? This whole story is completely stupid.
As always a story that then includes half hte family randomly taking an absurd position and saying it's ops fault. Nah.
No, you don't understand though he looked guilty, and she was able to sus it out that it was him after he started rumors at her own job against her. Also, spelling errors in the responses and no post history. Karma farming at its finest.
Yeah this has red flags all over it for being fake. For one thing, most major companies issue a laptop, and you often can’t access any of the information infrastructure without that device. Many also force two factor authentication, PIV cards, or other secure login methods. So if you still manage to let a “hacker” in then your probably irresponsible enough to be let go anyway. Also, just having access to her email probably wouldn’t be enough to do this kind of damage. Again, large companies are usually using OneDrive, Dropbox, etc to store and share files. That would be especially true of a graphics design company. Very unlikely that they’re emailing around gigabytes of images to each other. And even if they are, they’re probably not marking certain ones as “TOP SECRET!! BIG SENSITIVE!!! DONT SHARE IT!!!!” How would this guy even know what info to leak?
Honestly where do you people get this low-effort bullshit? Jesus. Next time you try to pass a story off as real, consider not writing one where in real life the protagonist would be taking legal action and easily getting a fat windfall in damages, not asking Reddit if they're the asshole for rejecting a job offer. In the meantime, please go f yourself.
It's crazy, why has this one got so many people fooled? It's a completely improbable story! Pure fantasy.
My favorite part is when the fiancé, after using her work email to leak information to competitors, presumably showed up at the office wearing a fake mustache to spread rumors about her being lazy. Either that, or he also emailed colleagues saying "I am lazy. Spread the word." Either sounds just as believable as the rest of it.
"No! She can't reject me! She's irreplaceable! My new company won't last a year without her genius "design" contributions! Well... I'll show her, hehehe. It's time for me to use my hacking skills once again. By day, I am but a mild mannered, millionaire tech CEO who is about to get married and launch a new company. But at night, I become... The Hackerman! Scourge of security systems, the Duke of data theft! Using my hacking powers I will take over her email account and ruin her reputation! Mwahahaha! That fool will never see me coming! And once her professional reputation is in tatters, why, she'll have no choice but to come and work for me.... Mwahahaha! Yes, yes, come to me, my pretty! Come and work for me, gift me your powers of design! Gift them to me!" Fucking cartoon villains. No I remember when the liars on here actually put a bit of effort in.
If she gets fired, she'll want my job!
Fake rage bait. Or OP is seriously stupid. Pick one.....
Fake.
Your parents and Mike are the AH here. You didn't "provoke" him. You turned down an offer that you WERE NEVER OBLIGATED TO ACCEPT. He broke the law and should be punished for it.
WTF, this is so obviously fake! 1. How can "rumors" that she is missing the deadlines affect her actual job? Did she miss the deadlines, If not how would this Mike guy persuade her boss that she did! 2. Mike hacking her email? How would he be able to do that? It is not that easy hacking someones email. And even if he did, how would he know where to send emails and about what, in order to make her seem guilty? She says that the hacked emails contained "confidential information to a competitor". If the information was confidential how Mike would know about it? 3. In what world would she have questions about HER being an asshole in this situation! Come on! Her parents blaming her? Yeah, right!
Girl what in the fucking fuck. Not only are you NTA, but he's a criminal. Call the cops NOW.
And get a lawyer and a lawsuit ready. Make him pay, with wallet and reputation. What an evil, evil person.
This sounds made up
Looks like creative writing to me. What kinds of parents blame their own daughter for not taking a freaking job offer for her own good just to “keep the peace” with their future SIL? Also who the fuck would know this guy is such a petty pos who can’t take no for an answer?
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this is fictional. Most graphic designers at prestigious companies have college degrees. I don't know about anyone else's work emails, but we have 2-party verification for signing onto email just so no one hacks our accounts. And if wannabe BIL ruined her reputation, what would be the point of hiring her? "Rumors" about missing deadlines don't matter when people actually make deadlines. And "slacking off" isn't believable when people produce the work. This is not how rumors actually work. Finally, how would BIL know the "confidential information" she supposedly leaked to a competitor? How would he know what to put in an email? Too many questions for me to take this one at face value.
Yeah this story has holes big enough to drive a mack truck through.
It's interesting how a "graphic designer" is essential to his tech startup and not a "UX/UI designer" or a "product designer" who could actually design and test his digital product. This story is ludicrous for someone who works in tech as a designer. These disciplines have differences.
There is no way this real. Any corporate IT would be able to track and figure out where and when the email was logged into. Also, how would the guy know what to leak? Fake fan fiction! Stop wasting our time.
**YTA... FAKE AI bullshit...** Yeah, I call bullshit... this story is just beyond belief... no account history, no comments, and it reads like AI... Detector says its 64% AI... [https://www.zerogpt.com/](https://www.zerogpt.com/) So i will choose to believe this is a bullshit AI post... YTA
This has to be fake because in what way could you possibly be the AH here Get a lawyer.
Why do people post these crazy fake stories
Oh, COME ON. This is bullshit!
I love when they post the craziest behavior and then just dip
Hey, my soon to be bil commited crimes to destroy my work but the first thing i do is running to reddit to ask if i am the asshole... com'on, which level of creative writing are we supposed to believe? There are tons of subs, where ppl like OP may seek for advice, but it is always AITAH who gets those fakes.
So he just walked in looking guilty and you knew it was him? I don’t believe a single word of this.
Completely fake just in the job claim. I’ve worked for more than two decades as a designer and creative director, including a stop at a ‘prestigious’ agency, and have a Cannes Lion on my CV to show for it. They don’t hire 20-year olds who have ‘worked their ass off,’ because there’s nothing special at creative agencies about working your ass off. If you don’t have a degree or an extensive work history, maybe you can talk someone into an internship, but realistically that’s it. If you just show up asking to be hired with an epic portfolio but no training or references to back it up, they assume you’re a poser who is stealing work from established pros and toss your application in the trash. *That* I’ve seen happen lots of times.
This sounds so fake. Like your sister was engaged to the hacker named 4chan or something
***Hacking into my email...*** YTA for making such a poorly written story.
fake, how would he know what confidential information to put in your email that he 'sent' to a competitor how would he know people at your company and be able to start rumors?
Professor here. I routinely check work for AI and did so for this post and another poster suggested it was fake. The detector said it was generated by AI.
Burn it all down. Never set your self on fire to keep the aholes warm. Set them on fire.
This is probably a criminal case which you should report to the police.
More creative writing by teenagers on summer break.
It feels like I've read this story before...
Working at a "prestigious company" that lacks proper protection for your email as well as your computer? Yeah Cybersecurity 101. I call bullshit on this fake story.
So fake. He “hacked” into your email? Your email would get locked out after a dozen or so failed attempts, and if he used security questions to “recover” the password he still wouldn’t see your old password and YOU would be the one who got locked out after he created a new one. And in what universe does anyone share their email password with the future BIL?
I just stumbled upon this community. Are these real stories? “Hey Reddit. Someone hacked my email and pretty much got me fired. Am I the asshole?!?!”
NTA. Go scorched earth ON EVERYONE. Restore your reputation, get your money's worth, then leave that company. Instead of looking into it or discussing suspicions with you, they just ostracized you. You can't trust that company, you probably can even sue the company as well. Or, they pay hush money for THEIR reputation. If they're that gung ho about security and leaking info, then why didn't they do anything to look into it where I'm sure they'd find out you got hacked. Because chances are, they use their "security" as a selling point for big contracts. And unless you send an employee wide email setting the record straight, which you don't need to and shouldn't have to, whispers will still continue after all this.
NTA and I second taking legal action!
Legal action. You got hacked- this is not ok.
Fake
Take a legal action. Inform the employer. He should pay for his actions.
Take legal action now. Not only against your sisters ex if you can but the company as well.
Your parents need to face some consequences here. They are furious with him, but only furious? He could potentially ruin your lively hood and financially and they are mad at you for provoking him? That man should be thrown to the wolves and every member of the family should be behind you. Let me guess, big family cone first kinda folk? Nope, they need to feel some shame.
Girl what. This should have resulted in you immediately contacting a lawyer and the police. Your sister’s ex did something highly illegal that affected your job, and your family needs to pull their heads out of their collective butt to address the fact that scapegoating you for illegal acts committed by another person is utterly insane. They are unhinged. If you have a way to go LC or NC with them for the time being, it might be a good idea. I’m so sorry they’re putting you through this. You did everything right here - can you imagine how much worse things would’ve gone for you if you’d started working for someone like him?! Please go talk to the police immediately. And a lawyer! NTA.
First thing: get Mike to write a letter indicating that he did these things. Send it to your HR department. Then go to the cops. The dude committed a crime, and he also committed a wrongful act against you (a tort). WTF is up with your parents? You didn't provoke him by making your own career choices. Go to work for Mike? Fuck no, you should sue Mike and *own* his company.
If he would do this to get you on board, I'm pretty sure his new gig is just a scam. The fact that he defaulted to criminal behaviour immediately when rejected speaks volumes about his character.
That’s identity theft. Report him to the police, and sue your company. You deserve to be an asshole now.
I am definitely curious as to how he managed to hack your work email. Beyond that though you need to hit him with all the recourse you can to save your career. u/BickWik is pretty bang on about what you need to do. Legal action 1000%. He literally tried to ruin you to get you. Is he this kind of person in his relationship too? All the red flags. Your parents need to stop victim blaming YOU. Would they also blame themselves if someone sabotaged their professional reputation and harmed their ability to earn a living?
>are also blaming me for “provoking” him by rejecting his offer. They think I should have just accepted the job to keep the peace. Man,fuck your parents.... how stupid do you have to be to think that you were provoking him?....
A woman says *no* to a guy so he commits a crime & attacks her. Now that woman is questioning herself, saying maybe she shouldn't have said no to keep the peace. Sound familiar? NTA. I would look into filing charges against him. Defamation, slander, hacking, whatever. Your sister dodged a bullet. This guy goes off the rails when he hears the word no.
Obviously NTA. HOWEVER, please please please don't ignore your parents complicity in this. It seems pretty obvious that they don't view what he did as a problem. Do you leave a computer logged in at your parents place? Do they know any of your passwords? Could they have helped him with this? It seems like there are more than a few red flags with how quickly they dismissed his attempts to literally destroy your career.
Wow so not only did he commit the whole suite of slander and fraud, but he admitted to the one thing that is ridiculously hard to prove in any libel/slander case: Intent. Sue that ass
NTA. Press charges. Tell your employers. Go scorched earth.
Obviously fake. Your fake company has shit security or you have really bad opsec and should be fired for that.
Started working at a prestigious company at 20?? I’ve read some fake shit, but this one takes the cake
NTA. Don't be scared, take legal action. What he did was illegal. He's putting you in a position to be fired and also be sued by your workplace. Don't take any chances of doing nothing, this is your livelihood. Is your family going to help you if you have no job and are job hunting or if you might get sued? You need to save yourself because at the end of the day the most important person in this situation is yourself and not your parents nor Mike. Inform your boss about what happened.
NTA I would take legal actions as well just to save your job. Like actually press charges on him for fraud and stealing documents. Because that is literally what he did. Go to your boss and explain to him what happened (though depending on the company that might not save your job). But they should be fairly understanding and hacking attempts happen. So whilst you messed up by noticing that he was doing these things like sending emails. But ultimately it was the action of someone else and you should be fine. But make sure to tell your boss you are looking into legal action against the hacker and have already reported him. That will help your case a tonne more when there is actual proof of what your BiL did. Your parents just suck overall. You dont take nebulous job offers where he would have likely worked you like a dog. Just to "keep the peace" your ex-BIL should have taken no for an answer. I would reiterate the damage he has done to your job and any future prospects to your parents. That he is an adult man and should be able to take a professional no as an answer. That even if you didnt have a job the way he went about trying to coerce you into working for him was shady as hell. And vocalize this part that they wanted you to give up a lucrative job which you know for some unknown start up. To keep the peace. Peace is not worth it if the end result is you in a worse place with the likelyhood of you being jobless in a couple of months when he no longer needs a designer or you or your sister crosses him. But beyond that you said no directly and told him you did not want the job. The whole fact that he couldn't accept is ... worrisome. Well atleast your sister is not marrying him but ... god help who ever next falls into his sight. Ask your parents if they want your sister married to someone who does not know the meaning of no and would do illegal stuff in order to get that yes. (That might get through to them more if your sister is the golden child) And about the potential abuse and etc she would have been put under. Remember this is not the great guy you know. This is a jerk who hacked your accounts to impersonate you. In order to get you fired. And just note getting fired with a mark on your resume that you were dishonest and a problem employee who leaked confidential information will have lasting consequences and maybe could get you blacklisted from the industry if you do not clear your name legally. Beyond this current job. It will make it harder for you to get jobs in the future as well. This is some seriously unhinged behavior.
Your former employer needs to be made aware of this ASAP as all those emails are now evidence. It should also be noted that the email source is baked into the device that sent it, so their IT department should be able to sus out the fraudulent emails fairly quickly.
Mikes not really wonderful is he? NTAH
“Now my family is divided.” Oh they most certainly are the fuck not. Anyone who is against you, is no longer considered family NTA
NTA but take legal steps NOW before your reputation has no place to come back from
No, you’re not. you had your dream job his was a brand new position with a brand new company with a brand new person. Yes you should sue his ass for losing your job. Maybe you can get it back after a police report showing that he hacked your account.
Your sister's a real one. Your parents are misguided. 100% seek legal action
Talk to a lawyer. ASAP. Your sister is a witness to the confession. NTA
So your parents believe a woman cannot say no to a man, even in the family Take legal action
NTA and you know it. If that is how the guy handles obstacles, all of you would have eventually found out how manipulative the guy is. You just saved your sister and yourself from several wasted years.
NTA Call the police, report this to employer, consult an attorney, get therapy. There are multiple civil and criminal violations here.
Like the bank provoked the robber into holding up the bank by having so much money. Your parents suck. NTA
You need to take legal action immediately. What he did can ruin your career forever. Go straight to your employer and tell them everything. That someone tried to poach you and you rejected them so they hacked your account to hurt you and the company. You company might also take legal action here. This is extremely important this is not some joke you may never get a decent job again because of what he did, especially if your employer does not learn the truth.