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FairyPenguinStKilda

NTA - this is really funny


elbowbunny

I’d like to know how many he got through before the bum cheeks threat scared him into a sugar free life.


One_Possibility_839

Haha, poor Fox! I bet he won't forget that lesson anytime soon.


blubberfucker69

I wish I had thought about this with my siblings. I’m the oldest of five and I wouldn’t have had to hide candy and treats in empty veggie bags in the freezer and boxes of snacks they didn’t like just to keep my shit to myself 😂


ProfuseMongoose

This is such an older cousin thing to say omg. I'm still chuckling. NTA.


fizzypaints

even older sibling, my stepsister said something like that to me growing up lmaoo


Illustrious_Bobcat

Yeah, one of my friends growing up told her little sister that if she sat on the toilet for too long while pooping, a shark would come up the pipes and bite her butt off. I think her sister 7, maybe just about to turn 7? Friend was 10. Her sister was the "come wipe me" child that refused to wipe her own butt. She'd just sit there screaming until her mother came and did it. Obviously this was the fault of her mother's enabling her, but Friend was so sick of it, she came up with that lie. Little sister suddenly refused to sit on the toilet at all. She would hover to pee, as fast as she could, and try to hover to poop. She started going to her mother to be wiped so she wouldn't be near the toilet at all. When their mom would ask why, she just started freaking out and crying about sharks. It took her at least a week to finally be calm enough to explain to her mom exactly what her big sister told her when she asked. I think my friend was grounded for at least two weeks for that one. She got what she wanted though, because their mother decided she was finally done with it all and started forcing her to wipe herself. A month later, you never would have known that the kid didn't wipe herself until she was 7 years old....


DataAdvanced

I told my sister she was actually a golden retriever we got from the pound, but she started talking and everyone just went with it.


Agitated_Law3045

My sister (almost 15 years older) told me that if I ever ate a chicken bone, I would turn into a chicken and if I ever ate a watermelon seed, vines would grow out of my ears


74Magick

I told my nephew that if he ate the seeds he would get pregnant with a baby watermelon. 😂😂😂


ProfuseMongoose

My sister told me gum stays in your stomach for seven years!


Careless_Pressure397

I heard that too. And if you swallowed too much gum it would clog your intestines and you would die


Idonthavetotellyiu

Okay first off, that's hilarious, second off yiu can go about it in a way of explaining to him that if he eats things he's not allowed to then it'll happen It's the best way to teach the kid to not steal others food That being said NTA He's 6. He'll be scared for a couple of years before he learns you lied to him and then that's a whole other issue but hey, good on you for putting up a boundary. Let your aunt know that he shouldn't be spoiled


Ginger630

NTA!!! I’d be laughing if I was Fox’s mom. But it sounds like he’s a brat so she probably enables that behavior. Tell him that eating veggies will prevent his butt cheeks from sticking together.


Armyman125

Prunes also. A lot of prunes.


Old_Crow13

This! Sweets are butt glue, veggies keep it from getting sticky


Ginger630

I think a bunch of parents on this thread just learned a way to get their kids to eat more veggies and less junk lol


Old_Crow13

It's amazing what works on little kids. My grandfather had a bunch of methods to get me to eat healthy.


Bigfops

I mean, it’s not too far off from the truth.


Slow-Breakfast5867

Little shit got taught a lesson. He’ll come around don’t worry. Kids get hungry but maybe this will make him stop eating what’s not his especially sugar.


blw4310

NTA They probably lie to him about Santa. This was hilarious. My granddaddy (when he was young, so 1930s/40s) knew this annoying shit of a kid and once they were near a turkey and the kid kept asking about it and my granddaddy told him how friendly they were and fun to ride. My granddaddy said watching him run from that turkey was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.


KombuchaBot

Turkeys are psychos WTF


Potential_Table_996

I would consider this a gold star in my "joke" book, lol. He is 6. He will get hungry and forget all about it and be after your cupcakes again in no time. If your aunt cant see the humor in it she's just weird and no fun at all


lola_magnolia

NTA. My 7 year old would find this absolutely hilarious.


rl_cookie

I, a 35 year old, also think this is hilarious.


lola_magnolia

I mean I’m 40 and the 7yo had to get his sense of humor from somewhere.


Spinnerofyarn

NTA. I hope your aunt was laughing. She should be, but since she's the one raising such a precious little angel, I suspect not. This is exactly the kind of stuff older kids pull on their siblings and relatives. I remember my sister told me soy sauce was made from bug juice - crushed bugs. I don't know how many years it took before I'd touch soy sauce, but it was a while.


cab2013

My sister talked me into eating chewing tobacco. I have no idea where she got it. It was not good. It made me feel really awful. There was a post on Reddit a while back from a late teen whose had a hate on for her younger brother because she thought her parents were spoiling him rotten. Her younger brother was allowed to run amok in a restaurant and the parent’s approach to discipline was to give in to his tantrum and take the daughter’s chicken fingers (or something like that) away from her so the poor baby would be happy. Big sister hit her limit, waited til he had snarfed back a bit of her food, and then informed him that he was eating Big Bird. Cue major public meltdown and possibly the start of a vegetarian lifestyle. People gave her heck because she was an adult (like 17-19 ish max) and he was a kid. I, on the other hand, laughed so hard I snorted coffee out my nose and then I called my sister so she could the same thing. NTA. This is hilarious. We all gotta learn.


Spinnerofyarn

Eating Big Bird! Whoa was that a good one!


cab2013

I know, right? Poor kid got totally roasted for it - so many indignant adults insisting that she was horrible and her actions were unforgivable. In all fairness, she may have referred to him once or twice as devil spawn but, again, mwahahahaaaaa…. I know that there are sibling / familial relationships that are abusive and I would never make light of or dismiss that. I watched someone close to me struggle w those scars. They were deep and lasting. But yah this is not that. This is just …iron sharpening iron folks. Lol. When we were little my sister convinced me to give her my baby teeth so that she could put them under her pillow for the tooth fairy (thus avoiding the whole messing w the fairies thing cause ya know how they can be - soooo unpredictable…). I would like to say that all of my baby teeth fell out of my head without “encouragement” but that would be a lie. There were a couple of “incidents” involving string and the doorknob and one rather unfortunate incident where we played dentist and she tied the string to the wrong tooth and instead of the loose tooth coming out when she slammed the door I ended up w a pretty noticeable bump on my head which we then proceeded to try to hide from our mother. My mother, for her part, DID know which of her kids was losing baby teeth and must have had a convo w the tooth fairy cause I always seemed to come out good in the whole cash-for-tooth transaction. On the plus side, I am WAY WAY WAY less gullible today than I would have ever been had I been an only child. Honestly, i think I was kinda dumb - think book smart but with less than zero street cred. If not for my sister ‘sistering me’ while also, bless her heart, protecting me from others, I am not sure I would have made it to fully functional adulthood. At best I would be clicking spurious links and buying gift cards / sending codes “to my boss”, and enthusiastically entering into financial arrangements w foreign princes who oddly need me to give them my bank Acct information, you know, just this one time… Older siblings / cousins teach us the lessons our parents can’t or won’t. They are a gift.


Spinnerofyarn

My sister was definitely in the, "No one picks on my sister but me," camp.


cab2013

Gotta love the sisters. :). The good ones anyway. :)


blubberfucker69

I’m the oldest of five, and I absolutely run that camp. Only I AM ALLOWED to terrorize my siblings. I will absolutely argue with another eleven year old if they even THINK about bullying my babiest sister 😂


Lumpy_Marsupial_1559

How to deal with this: With aunt's permission (get a list from her of things she'd like 6 y.o. to eat more of), sit down with him for a 'serious' conversation... You're sorry you upset him, but you're worried about his butt, so you went and did some research and asked the experts what's the best way to keep his butt un-stuck. Here it is: it's about keeping a balance and eating enough of the un-glue foods to keep his butt happy. He can eat sugar stuff, but not too much. It's like the three bears - not too much, not too little, in the middle is juuuuust right! You talked to his mom and shared what you learned with her, and mom is going to work to make sure your butt stays good and un-stuck! No glue-butt for you! Then lean in close and whisper: There's something important you need to know. Your body and your brain talk to each other. So if you steal someone else's treats, your brain knows you did it. And your brain makes the sugar work stronger on your body. We don't want that! It will mean you have to miss out on other treats to keep a balance! So if you stick to *your* treats that your mom says you're allowed to have, AND you eat the balance-it-out foods, then you will be able to eat a good amount of sugar food and NOT have your butt stick together! Does that sound like a good plan? Because I was worried about you, and this will keep you happy AND healthy. Okay? Let's go tell your mom the plan! Whooo!


Illustrious_Bobcat

You are my favorite person today. THIS is how to handle it!!! 🤣


madworld3232

Tell Fox only sugary treats cause your butt cheeks to permanently glue together. Good luck Fox! 🦊 Hahaha 😂


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

Reminds me of the joke where the mom tells the kd that if he doesn't stop that he'll end up like his sister.  When he says he doesnt have a sister, the mom replies "exactly". 


Feisty_Irish

NTA. Okay, this is hilarious.


usefultoast

Once when I was little (like 6) I had a sleep over with my cousins (maybe 5&4) and they still slept with a night light. I was having a hard time sleeping because of the light since I didn’t use one, and asked my cousin to turn it off. When he said no, I said “but then the bad guys will have enough light to see you.” He had nightmares about this for weeks and I never had a sleepover with them again, lol. Poor kid.


Tokeahontis

You know what, I told my 9 year old cousin that if he doesn't wash his hands after pooping he'll get worms. It worked lol. His mom laughed


Acreage26

NTA. I knew a kid who used to chew on paper until his mother told him that all paper was recycled from used paper, including toilet paper. I heard him frantically telling another kid who was chewing paper.


suzanious

My brother told me if I ate the seeds from an orange, an orange tree would start growing out of my ears.


Humble_Pen_7216

Lol - that's hilarious. Maybe she'll stop leaving her brat in your care if you come up with more of these ...


Diznaster

His mom should be thanking you for making him afraid of too much sugar. You should start making some fake news article screenshots you can tease him with in the future.


Odd-Concept-8677

NTA. I once told my niece (while I was cleaning) that our reflections were actually our trapped evil twins and she had to be careful not to touch the glass surfaces because they could pull us through.


ExoticElderberry1983

NTA and as a mum of 4, I wish I had thought of this one!! Hahahaha thanks for the Monday morning giggle! I used to tell my sister things were spicy if she kept persisting after she was told no. Lmao still at too much sugar.and your butt cheeks will stick together 🤣🤣


Own-Tart-6785

Ahahahahaha u win the internet today 😂


notthemama58

This is hilarious. He'll get over it, and you just became my hero!


Curiouser-Quriouser

🤣🤣🤣 Great idea!


Miserable-Age3502

NTA and thank you, I laughed into an asthma attack 😂 When I was maybe 10 my cousin and I told her little brother that at night they're was an invisible shark named Heathcliff that came out of our pool drain when we turned the pool lights on. We got sick of having to babysit him during night swims while the adults got shit-hammered on Bacardi Breezers and other assorted 80s centric cocktails.


Harmonic_Taurus4469

NTA! This gave me THE best and much needed laugh of my day today. Thank you so much!🤣🤣🤣🤣


cinnamongirl73

This is the most hilariously epic thing I’ve seen in a while! I’m going to have to use this one! 😈


DontBeAsi9

NTA. That’s hilarious! My brother told me if I swallowed watermelon seeds a plant would grow in my stomach and might get stuck on the way out when I pooped. 😆


ApparentlyaKaren

Me and my mom used to tease my sister as a small child that she had a tail when she was born and the doctors had to remove it. She’s now in her late 20s, and I in my 30s….I can say there was no lasting damage.


Caiimhe_Nonna

Good. He sounds like a little shit.


chaingun_samurai

That's just funny.


WakandaNowAndThen

Tell your aunt that it's true. If he eats too much sugar his butt cheeks will get stuck together. You're 16 who the fuck does she think you are? It's up to her to correct it lol


AdAffectionate1766

NTA he needs to learn respect for other peoples stuff


Original_You1458

That mother needs to sort out her fox 🦊… I would be asking your parent for a key lock on your door - NTA - fox’s mother is the Ass hole for not teaching and disciplining her child ..


Tough-boo

This is just shit older siblings/family members do. My oldest sister said that baby ghost peppers haven’t matured yet so they aren’t spicy and tricked me into eating one. I literally shoved the whole thing in my mouth. I cannot tolerate spicy food so that one was extra funny to her. If it makes you feel any better, I told my little sister Santa wasn’t real. Hopefully your aunt isn’t too pissed at you because this is funny af.


Kattegat66

😂😂😂😂


MuffledOatmeal

This is hysterical. Nta


Aromatic-Quantity623

NTA When you see someone chewing their cuticles tell them if they keep it up their nails will fall off.  If they push, explain that cuticles hold the nail to the nail bed. 


nuppin_hunnie

HAHAHAHAAA NTA fuck them kids🤣


Jumpy_Willingness707

lol love this -I told my kids their brain would turn to mush didn’t work… I might have to try the butt cheek thing


Jealous-Ad-5146

I’m dying 😅😅😅


mother-of-greenones

NTA- my older brother told my kids that if they didn’t eat their vegetables their hair would fall out. He said “I didn’t and look at me now!” He’s bald 😂 we also told them that we could visibly see them shrink if they didn’t eat their dinner. They are perfectly fine. If your aunt is so worried about it she should be better at disciplining your cousin so he doesn’t take what isn’t his and throw a fit when he doesn’t get his way.


Pandagoatbear

NTA and I’m laughing so much!


Typical_Nebula3227

NTA that’s hilarious.


Broken_eggplant

Omg thats what we tell to our slavic kids 🤣 NTA


Ladyughsalot1

NTA  This is good clean fun IMO. 


Electronic_Wait_7500

Okay, this is just hilarious.


Ambitious-Nobody-24

Omg this is hilarious, thank you, I needed this laugh today😂😂😂 But seriously NTA, and welcome to adulting. We sometimes tell white lies to children when they don’t listen to reasoning.


Dry-Faithlessness527

I'm Gen X. My parents and any adults in the community would absolutely say something like this. So, of course I would carry on that fine tradition. Well done, young one! You found an excellent way to startle pests into stopping undesirable behaviors. NTA


GuttedPsychoHeart

Lol NTA OP.


TheJurassicPyro

NTA, my dad told me something similar when I was about 7. My stupid ass would eat sugar out the jar my told me ants would smell the sugar and crawl up my asshole, safe to say I stopped.


yogigirl77

Showed up to just laugh!


Meatyparts

Lawl


Apprehensive_Box190

I was told as a child can cranberry sauce was cow hoves. Lol


theoldman-1313

I think that you need to come up with some more fun facts to use when your cousin comes to visit. NTS


GoReadABook2

If one of my sons cousins told them that, I would laugh hysterically. Hey whatever works to slow down on the sugar intake 🤣


v_x_n_

NTA. He stopped eating your cupcakes lol. Maybe you saved him from a life with diabetes.


ohnoanotherputz

Kinda the asshole but it was sorta deserved?


Princesslolligag

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m using this on my grandkids next time they are over 🤣🤣🤣🤣 very creative!!!


HornyOldBoomer

NTA--you need to tell him that if he swallows (_____ seeds that _____ will grow out his asshole. Also if he swallows chewing gum it will plug his bunghole!


NoCaterpillar2051

NTA I actually laughed. Good share op. I intend to had this phrase to a long list of traditional things to say to an unruly child included but limited to "if you don't stop making that face it'll get stuck that way" and "I'm telling Santa".


theanaheimfucks

nta. i’m in the firm camp that sometimes it’s okay to lie to kids


74Magick

OMGDS I am DYING!!! That's hilarious. I told my nephew that if he swallowed gum he would blow bubbles out of his other end, I told him that if he ate watermelon seeds he would get pregnant with a baby watermelon and give birth to it in the toilet, I can't even remember everything I told that child, lol. NTA


LatterReplacement645

Every Russian child grew up hearing this from parents etc and we all turned out fine. NTA. 


Poe-653

NTA I once told a kid he’d grow fungus and mushrooms on his feet if he didn’t take his socks off at bedtime or if he kept wearing wet socks. 🤣 I also told him he’d get butt mushrooms if he kept his wet underpants on too . He showered and put on nice dry PJ’s for bed then. 


AdMurky1021

Tell your aunt to do some actual parenting, it's not your problem.


No_University5296

NTA hilarious


whistler1421

I wish adults would fall for this.


MushroomTypical9549

YTA- you should not have said that. Kids are vulnerable and we need to protect them and build them up to be good functioning adults not trick them. If I was your aunt I would be fuming and have you explain it was just a joke and sorry you confused him.


Proper-Hippo-6006

If you were the aunt you should teach your spoiled brat not to steal / eat other person’s things. He has absolutely NO RIGHT to steal that cupcake. He was a guest.


MushroomTypical9549

The right wat OP should have handled it is gone to her aunt and she should discipline her child without traumatizing him. Reading this post makes me believe Reddit is filled with young people without any sense how to be a parent or know anything about children.


Proper-Hippo-6006

But YOU do know all of this? Gosh. You’re funny.


Waste-Dragonfly-3245

YTA. He’s 6. You could have put the cupcakes somewhere out of his reach instead of scaring him


poppieswithtea

Old enough to act right.


hey_nonny_mooses

ESH - he needed consequences not lies.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

You sound fun


MedicalMom23

🤣 Is it wrong I'm laughing my ass off?! 🤣


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

This is hilarious 


Dr_Spiders

I am convinced that older cousins exist to tell you outrageous lies that you, for some reason, believe. NTA


2ndBestAtEverything

NTA. Legend.


icedragon71

NTA. It's a teaching tale as old as time. When I was a kid, we were told not to pull funny faces or stick our tongue out at people because we would get stuck looking like that if the wind changed. Lol.


Anonymous_33326

As a mum I applaud you for stopping a child from eating you out of them pantry. I’m taking a note or two out of your book


ReputationPowerful74

NTA. It sounds like Fox’s parents have never managed to say anything that adjusted his behavior around this. Until they do, other people will be doing it for them. They have to accept that negative behaviors will get corrected. If that’s not okay to them, they can keep him at home.


Ok-Hedgehog-1646

NTA. This is hilarious. I’m going to try it.


Bucky-Katt-Guitar

I just came back to read this again. This is absolutely hysterical


Miss_Bobbiedoll

IKR? 😂😂😂😂


kmflushing

You laugh. That's what you do. You laugh. And then you retell that story at his wedding.


Initial-Ad2243

You're a legend! Definately NTA. I told my kids that each time they lied, their ears glowed red. Right up until my eldest turned 8, and my youngest turned 12, they'd cover their ears lol. Not gunna harm your cousin at all, might teach him consequences to his actions.


DkBloodworldMKII

NTA, if it was my little cousin I woulda spanked him


pittsburgpam

HA! Reminds me of when I was little, my sister, who was 5 years older than me, told me if I didn't eat tomatoes that my blood would turn green. That worried me for awhile.


OkManufacturer767

YTA 


Green-Dragon-14

What you do is laugh


Highly-uneducated

Lol I'm going to tell my son this tomorrow


ludditesunlimited

This kid needs some older siblings. I’m glad he’s got you instead.


Alfred-Register7379

Geez 😆😆😆😆😆


AmusedPencil274

NTA This is like something out of one of my favourite books, Great Lies to tell Small Kids and also Great Lies to tell Small Kids 2!


MaskedCrocheter

NTA Tell your aunt that if she raised him better other people wouldn't have to find ways to get him to act better. And if she doesn't like it she can either step up her mom game or keep him away from you.


Apart-Incident-4188

LMFAOOO NTA 😭😂


bls06820

I tell kids all the time if they drink coffee before 25 yr they’ll be short.


yummie4mytummie

😂😂😂😂🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭😂😂😂😂🤭🤭🤭🤭


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[удалено]


RoughDirection8875

OP is literally 16 years old, she is a child herself. It's not her responsibility to teach a six-year-old who has a mother how to act. It is his mother's responsibility


Immediate_Paint4226

Yeah , you are totally the asshole -- f*cking around with a six year old -- when you should be the semi- adult that clearly has more understanding than that child did. WTF is wrong with you??!!


Comfortable-Pea-6824

Everything is wrong with me.


StarlightM4

No, nothing is wrong with you. This is the sort of thing my older kids would have said to the younger or to their younger cousins. Normal, and in your case, hilarious.


chotskyIdontknowwhy

Wait?! I thought everything was wrong with *me*?!


GiraffeLiquid

Don’t listen to that guy, OP. He probably ate too many cupcakes and now his butt cheeks are glued together, and that’s why he’s so grumpy.


RoughDirection8875

lol you say that as if OP slapped the child for *checks notes* being a spoiled little brat who wouldn't stop eating the cupcakes that he was told to stop eating and proceeded to throw a fit over them instead of telling them a silly little lie to scare them into not being a spoiled little brat who doesn't know how or care to listen to others. Kid had it coming and OP's aunt deserves a good bitching out for enabling her kid's bad behavior.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

Nothing is wrong with her. It's hilarious. Unstick your own butt cheeks and maybe that stick will fall out.