I myself became a mum at 16 and my oldest is now 9. Do you reckon there's anything you could've done ''differently'' in a way for your son to not follow in the cycle of teen parenthood?
I became a mom at 16. My oldest 2 are now 24 and 25 and broke the cycle of teen parents after many generations on both sides. I'm so proud of them. I have 4 amazing kids!
We were just always very honest about the struggles. My oldest was very determined to make money in his youth. That's what he's doing. He recently got engaged to the girl he's been with since their HS sophomore year. They don't want to have children until their 30s. They don't want their children to experience financial hardships and to raise them in a home they own. My 24-year-old doesn't want children. For now, I only have granddogs.
I married their dad a month after I turned 17 (the law here with parental consent and no judge approval, at least in 1997). Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer when the kids were still young, and I became a widow. So they experienced difficult times in their childhood, which helped them become the most amazing, strong, independent, caring adults I could have dreamed of.
I still have 2 teens at home. One is older than I was when I had my oldest (and not pregnant). The other is right around the corner, and I have no doubt they will be successful like their adult siblings.
Not a teen mom. In fact, my mom had my at 30 and her mom had her at 30 (in part because of WW2 getting in the way of prime baby making time). And her mom had her at 30 just because thatās where she fell in birth order.
So, literally, I thought 30 was just the appropriate time to have babies. Thatās what I saw. And my grandma and mom had gone to college and worked, so I āknewā you had to do that first.
I really think a lot of it is what is normalized. Sure itās āharderā but you also know it *can* be done. And maybe even done well, if you admire your mom and how well she raised you and how āeasyā she made it look. My mom made it look hard, even with money and age and a half assed partner. Never occurred to me you could do it at 1/2 her age. I watch all the teen mom shows and I am flabbergasted because I can barely adult on my own, without a kid.
Also, abortion was ALWAYS on the table in my family, and I went to religious school where I was taught otherwise. But at home, they were adamantly pro choice and indicated early and often there would be no judgement. I donāt know if thatās as easy to do when you are a teen mom or the product of a teen mom because the implication is āI wouldnāt or shouldnāt have had youā.
Like, to me, the vibe was, use birth control, but if you have a āmistake,ā we can ātake care of it.ā If you are talking to a kid who wasnāt planned, you canāt really speak like that. How do you say āyou were an āaccidentā I kept and loveā¦but you should definitely not keep your own āaccidentāā? Shit, my BIL is a 40 year old man and his dad just told him (for no good reason) that his mom said she fell out of love with him years before BIL was even conceived, and it has rocked his world that he wasnāt āconceived in love.ā Heās dissecting it in therapy now. So I canāt imagine trying to have a āhere are ALL your optionsā conversation with a kid who is here because you didnāt take all your options. And thereās no other way to unring that bell once you are pregnant.
I donāt envy parents at all. As noted above, I watch the teen mom shows, and they just convinced me further I was not prepared as an adult to parent. I canāt imagine doing it as a teen. And then raising a teen. So many things to worry about that werenāt even a thing when I was growing up, PLUS the things that were.
I think about that a lot and believe me I tried to stress to him the dangers of it. But I guess I just wasnāt good enough. I guess we try our best but sometimes itās not good enough. I am proud that my son stayed in school and he became a lawyer while also being a teen dad.Ā
Whoa! Iām really impressed by that. My grandmother was 37 when I was born, so my familyās trajectory wasnāt that different from yours. Iām also a lawyer. And I canāt imagine trying to do that with kids and especially if Iād had kids early under not so great circumstances (not sure what your sonās were, but Iām assuming no benefactor or lottery win). He must be tough as nails and very motivated and Iām sure some of that came from you.
Awesome for your son but what about the teenage mother? Was she able to continue her education as well? Often times in these situations the ones who suffer the most short and long term pain are the young women.
Kids don't see around the same corners that adults do. He thought, it won't happen to me, and then it happened. :( With boys you can hand them condoms and hope they use them, and hope the girl is on B.C. When you have a daughter, you make sure she is on it. With both sexes you talk until you can't, and they either pay attention or they don't.
I donāt think itās as simple as that because if it was then teen parenthood numbers would be similar across all demographics.
I think itās more to do with opportunities available to you and modelling the behaviour you see around you.
My mom was 16 when she had me (13 when she had my older sister) and Iām also a lawyer.
Donāt be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you did the best you could and you seem to have good kids who have done well for themselves!
My mom was a teen mom, and I was a teen mom, but that pattern stopped with me. I'm 49, and my kids, 31 and 29 sons, and my 18 year old daughter, have not had any kids. It was one of the things I educated them on heavily. My daughter was my main concern, but she is so much better than I was. I was a teen mom and a high school dropout. I eventually got my hs diploma through distance learning and went on to become a registered nurse with a masters degree in science. I tried to model what my mother never did/could.
What kind of trucking? How are you all surviving this freight recession? Wishing you the best of luck. Iām stressed supporting two kids. Canāt imagine the burden of taking care of so many.
But where do you live that that supports all those children and do you expect they all will get college educations, or do you have room for them all to have a livable wage within the family business?
Yeah I like having one. I love all my kids and my grandkids. Growing up itās been a habit to have a lot of kids in prior generations of my family. At times it can get exhausting but I wouldnāt trade my family for nothing
Do you not try to prevent having your sons or daughter be young parents by educating them? I imagine fatherhood at that age was not ideal for you or any careers?
I try my best with all my kids but sometimes your best isnāt enough. It is definitely far from ideal. I dropped out of school to help take care of him. Luckily I could join the family business to make a living but I had to give up a lot. Iām proud that my son stayed in school and is now a lawyer. Better than I could do
I think that OP would have listed specifics if that was something they had already done before in the past on a recurring basis to be able to respond in a constructive manner to this question.
Not everyone is enlightened enough to to be able to act in their own best interest, let alone the interests of others. All the astro hoes got it right: The lesson will repeat until you fundamentally change your actions.
It sounds like he was at least proud of his firstbornās life. We are all just products of our environment at the end of the dayā¦ contributing to the epic called the Anthropocene
I'm going to give you a 10/10 for hitting me with a word I've never seen/heard before. I have to go with 5/10 for the clunky use of the word in a sentence. Actually, I'm gonna give you 11/10 for anthropocene.
It is an incredibly difficult cycle to break. My mom, my daughter and I were all teen moms. I pray that my granddaughters break the cycle. If it were as simple as teaching them the right things, the familial precedent wouldnāt be so pervasive.
Good question. I am not sure what would have changed the outcome. I guess if she had been easier to talk to and hadnāt openly disliked my boyfriend (later became my husband) so much things might have gone differently. The more she told me to stay away from him, the more I ran towards him.
But if she did the opposite (encouraged you to run to him, supplied the booze and condoms while you were underage), do you really think you wouldnāt have been a teen parent?
Why is it so difficult. Use protection, problem solved. Only morons donāt use protection and say shit like āgetting knocked up is so hard not to do.ā JFC, the excuses for being irresponsible in this post are sickening.
My childhood best friend is the middle child of seven. We're grown now, but about 2 years ago I called her folks for her new address so I could send her a care package. She's going back to med school, and we're elder millennials, so this is no small task (ie we're very old for med school)
I asked her mom what her favorite candies might be, and her mom said to me, "oh, you'd know way better than I would!" And then told me she had too many kids to know their preferences or interests.
Um, what? We hadn't hung out much since we were 12, and like 25 years had passed.
So, I racked my memory and sent her what I could remember. She sent a note right away saying she couldn't believe how seen I had made her feel, simply by remembering that pink starburst were her favorites.
It breaks my heart every time I think about it. Someone who knew her 25 years ago as a kid knew her better than her own mother.
I am a grandmother raising six full sibling grandchildren due to a family tragedy. I work full time but am off summers. I am careful to not parentify the kids but there are five girls and one boy. The girls genuinely care for their younger siblings. I try to devote more time to the youngest two but I think I am fairly even. The most important work I do is cooking and shopping and allowing them to have pets. Itās also important to realize you have to take turns with allowing extras. The kids are enterprising. They ski, hike, and rock climb on their own. I feel badly for families that allowed this to happen as siblings are worth more than wealth
My grandma on my mom side had 12 kids - at that time in a patriarchal, war-torn country with no concept of contraceptive.
It was given that the older siblings took on parenting roles. Time was different for them but I'm sure that couldn't have contributed to a healthy childhood if at 12 you're responsible for your 1-10-year-old siblings.
yep. even my wife, whose parents are from Tonga and moved here early 90s, was tasked with practically raising and caring for her younger siblings.
sheāll randomly tell me new stories from her childhood still after 13 years together and itās always about her practically being a mom to 3 kids at 9 years old.
it makes me so mad and sad. iām sure her parents were trying but god damn - i have an 11, 9 and 2 yr old and i feel awful about leaving the 2 yr old with the older girls just to take a shower.
I know ppl were giving you a hard time but I think it's great you're this protective of your wife and kids. My grandmother was really traumatized from having to raise all her siblings.
My mum was the eldest girl of 6 kids and basically raised her 3 youngest siblings. The resentment she felt towards her own mother for basically robbing her of a childhood never went away.
My friendās husband had the parentified role. He was the oldest of 6 and basically cared for the siblings into their teen years because the parents were both addicts. Heās a defense lawyer now and refuses to have children saying he already did it. My friend didnāt want children either, so win-win.
Same here. My grandma wasn't the oldest but she was parentified. She resented her parents and didn't bother to maintain contact with any of her 9 siblings after she left the house and got married.
šÆšÆ my mom raised her 5 younger siblings and 3 kids of her own. I was the youngest and there wasn't an ounce of time, attention, love, or patience left by the time I came around. Absolutely why I didn't have kids of my own
Same with my mom. Oldest of 6, was very angry by the time her youngest sister was born when she was 15, because the family didnāt have enough money as it was and a lot of the childcare was falling on her.
Similar here except that my mom was the next to youngest of 4 kids, butā¦. the only female. Her mom left her abusive father, but it was the south in the 50s and there is no feasible way a single mom of 4 would surviveā¦.. Which left my mom, at 8, raising her younger brother and doing all the cooking and cleaning for all 3 brothers and an abusive father.
She was not okay. Still isnāt.
Yeah, my mom is the eleventh of twelve kids, and she was essentially raised by her oldest sister who resented her and the other younger siblings. My mom totally understands why my aunt felt that resentment, and had started to work on mending their relationship when my aunt passed of cancer. Ugh. Parentification is not good.
im the eldest of 8. by the time i was 11-12, i was the official regular babysitter because both my parents often worked evenings, so i often took care of suppers putting the kids to sleep and what not, but i never perceived that part of my childhood as being unhealthy š with time, i split those roles with the next older ones as they got older and there were also new additions to the family. im honestly really greatful for having grown up like that, all of us are super super close and we have a pretty unique beautiful sibling cohesion i believe partly from us raising each other
btw im 22 so this is no old time story
Tbf way back in the day, getting education (specially for women) was a lot harder than it is now, even in a small family. My grandma was one of 4 (and I think the youngest) and was never able to get any education beyond primary school. My grandpa was only able to get a high school education (forget college!) only cause some rich aristocrat for whom my great-grandpa worked was willing to pay for his education, otherwise he would have dropped out after primary school too.
On the other hand, this is how everyone who wasnāt extremely wealthy grew up for the vast majority of human history.
I grew up helping to take care of my little brother because I was significantly older than him. It never felt like a terrible burden, it was just what needed to be done.
Anyone who grows up with absolutely no responsibility except recreation and study is very privileged, and frankly I donāt know which of the two is more unhealthy.
Itās certainly given me a close bond with my sibling.
Too bad OP ran offā¦I do wonder if heās ever actually asked his kids how they feel about having that many siblings. Two parents canāt make enough time to be attentive to 10 kids at once. They just canāt.
Edit: 8 kids š
I was a parentified child and I only had 2 younger siblings. It genuinely makes me so upset when I hear about people who had many children especially at a young age when theyāre usually immature and donāt know how to handle children. Itās so difficult for the parents to make time for each child and to take care of them, so they usually donāt. Iām still somewhat resentful of my parents for putting so much pressure on me and I canāt imagine having to take care of so many younger siblings. I swore to myself to have children when Iām much older so I donāt make the same mistakes my parents did but also not to give my child the stress I had growing up. I wish these kinds of parents would at least acknowledge the harm they caused and while I donāt know OP, the fact that heās ignoring this question is questionable and sad. I feel for every parentified child out there.
Iām the oldest of 9 and I didnāt even swear to myself, just have passively accepted that I donāt want any kids because raising my siblings wasnāt a fun experience. Dad is still broke and old and keeps changing jobs/careers so now Iām mentally preparing for a possible round two of providing for or otherwise parentally inverting to support the children he kept having when he couldnāt even afford myself and my siblings closest to me in age.
Yup. I spent a lot of time in Utah and had this conversation so many times. I'm sorry it's just facts. Time is limited and you cannot be a good parent when you have that many kids. At some point your oldest kids are having to parent when they didn't sign up for it. I won't die on this hill because frankly it doesn't affect me directly, but I think having more than three or four kids is selfish. There's no way they're not parentifying the oldest children.
Seriously. We were just three evenly spread out, and I can see as an adult that that was already a lot of juggling to give us each attention. And we certainly didnāt each get it despite a good amount of effort.
I have aunts with the same number of kids as OP. In one family the children were well-taken care of, werenāt responsible for the younger ones, and get/had one-on-one time with each parent. The kids are spread out over 17 years, all have attended or are attending college and graduating with 0 debt (my uncle does very well). The kids all get along well (and so do their children as the older ones have families) and they are great to be around. My other aunt struggled raising that many and received a lot of outside help from my other relatives. At times, her older children were responsible for too much, but family stepped in and that stopped. Still, her children have all attended or are attending college, get alone well with each other and are very close, and are happy well-adjusted people.
My point is this - I see families with one or two kids who do a shit job of parenting and giving attention to their children. It depends on the family, the finances, the parentsā mental health, etc. Itās unfair to just automatically assume they arenāt supporting their childrenās needs emotionally/psychologically/physically. Attitudes towards parenting have changed greatly and some of the changes are detrimental to childrenās well being in my opinion. And if you ask my cousins (or me, being one of 5), they wouldnāt trade their childhood/family for anything. I love my siblings and never felt neglected or treated poorly and neither do my cousins.
Having a large number of siblings significantly increases the amount of parentification of older children, sure it worked out for you just as sometimes someone wins the lottery that does not mean everyone should be buying tickets
He doesnāt. My mom is one of nine, and the oldest were also āadultsā when the youngest was born. None of those children has a good memory of their parents actually spending time with them. And they all had the same parents. I highly doubt OP has that many children with the same woman, so heās also not spending full time with any of those kids.
I dont mean to be rude, but it sounds like you regretted being a teen parent and at least try and teach your own kids better, but also you're 45 and still haven't learned how to stop having kids? 10 kids is too many kids for two people to handle, it's very unlikely there is no parentification or neglect happening when you have that many. How do your other children feel about you continuing to have children? Do they feel they have been parentified or had to make too many sacrifices?
You're getting understandable pushback because you seem proud of this, and because people are aware of the problems of very large families. You also don't mention how your children have been affected by this.Ā
Iām kind of the opposite. My dad was 49 when I was born. His dad was 43 when he was born. Always wondered what itād be like on the opposite side of the spectrum. My grandparents were both long dead before I was born. In your situation, everyone had a young and healthy grandparent to bond with.
Thanks to the pandemic, there will be a lot more people like you. I had my first, and most likely only, child at 41 years old. I'm so tired, BTW. I have three other close friends my age who did the same. One of them is having a second. The others are so tired like me.
Same here, my mom was 41 and my dad was 43 when I was born. I had classmates whose grandparents were the same age or younger than my parents, while mine were in nursing care in my few memories of them.
Thanks. But thereās nothing interesting to share. Never knew most of my dadās family b/c they were too old. He was the 2nd youngest by far. So they were all dead or close to it by the time I was able to interact with any one them. I only really knew one uncle. And it wasnāt as if I knew him well.
I'm not the OP but we had five generations til I was sixteen, now we have four. I love that my kid is so close to her great grandparents. It's such a joy to see them together. My gran was a teen parent and all the rest of us have had kids in our twenties.Ā
There's something to be said for multigenerational bonds and having the energy for kids when you're young.Ā
My only question is why you thought you would get any positive response to terrible life choices. This is not a heart warming or ācuteā fact about your life. Itās actually really sad. We donāt need teen parents breeding like you have been. As Bill Burr said-āthatās not a family photo, thatās an environmental disaster.ā Get fixed and stop having future teen parents.
Man thatās kind of fucked up, I myself also became a father at 17 and my daughter is currently 16. I do literally everything in my power to make sure she doesnāt make the same mistakes I do. I know first hand how hard that life is and want better for her.
How can someone have and raise a kid at 16, work a tough trucking job for years to support that kid, but then be soft enough for mild reddit comments to make you delete your account within a couple hours š
My parents started having kids together at ages 13 and 17 (There was a 6 year gap between the first baby who was given up for adoption and my sister). They are emotionally stunted people. My mom was 25 when she had me so not a child. But my parents never really had a chance to grow up and their emotional problems have ruined our family. Itās the complete dynamic out of that book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
Teenagers have zero business having children and our society is so stupid for not trying harder to prevent these unwanted and unneeded pregnancies. The fact that this dude ran away whining just demonstrates that further. This man made himself responsible for creating 10 balanced well-rounded people and he canāt even handle fake people on an internet forum.
In every one of his comments he mentions his 'mistakes' and his parenting 'not being strong enough so the kids act differently' and that he is 'very proud of his son who made better choices and became a lawyer' etc so I think he is already internalizing the modern scorn of large families and middle class aspirationalism and if given a second chance would do otherwise.
When others push him, even mildly, in the same direction, it reinforces all those negative emotions he already has. He can't take it.
I have seen people with massive families that fully own it and don't mention any mistakes being made but are single heartedly pround and tell their own kids that is the way. He is very conflicted about it.
Probably because his lifestyle/choices have been praised up until today.
Dollars to donuts he's been fed some type of "overcoming adversity" narrative. Then came here and questioned like he was a cautionary tale.
This dude speed ran becoming a boomer.
How do you raise 9 kids and not have the strength for a reddit AMA?
You don't. It is that simple.
Nobody raises 9 kids. What they usually do is parentify the older ones, which is abuse btw.
Even less ppl are able to parent 9 children AND run a business. Like srsly š
9 kids to parent (with grandkids already), a business to run, and still finds time to impregnate and reddit. You should have a youtube channel fr.
Or it's with seven different women and every single one of those kids has been abandoned and is now living with a struggling single mom but he wants the credit for raising them.
He doesnāt see women as equals, but breeding machines. Thank god his family has a trucking company to support his ass and his irresponsible breeding. Which is ironic since his pullout game is so weak.
OP kept saying how proud he was of his son for remaining in school and becoming a lawyer despite teen parenthood but never actually answered the questions about the son's partner's fate, which is very telling.
Generous of you to assume all the kids have the same mother. Iād wager how he goes about supporting them all isāhe doesnāt. Dude probably has a few kids to every mother and theyāre stuck taking care of them while he fucks off travelling around the country.
Well, l went by the analogy that women shit out kids, but l know what you mean. I guess we should be more consistent with our analogies, no matter how vulgar.
Thereās a guy who had 11 kids by nine women. He was on the news bcoz he needed reduced child support payments. A couple of his BMs received less than $3 monthly. Hopefully that trucking money goes a long way.
sounds like my cousin's baby daddy. she got knocked up right out of hs and didn't realize he already had some other kids by other women. he ended up with around a dozen kids by some 8 or so women. she lost her mind and had a second with him as well (though she'd been told she couldn't get pregnant again). she didn't tell them and i let it slip one day not realizing they didn't know when we were watching anna and the king and her daughter asked if all those kids were his, yup just like your dad. cousin gave me such a look and mouthed "they don't know" whoops gotta warn me about stuff like that.
i feel like i know who your talking about. he had like some ugly had and teeth and was bragging about his 2 or 3 dollars a month to his 6 or 7 baby mamas
Yeah there have been a couple of those guys. One of his BMs had two of his kids. Went back for seconds smh. At that point itās just flatulence in the brain.
I saw a couple on Soft White Underbelly who found out they were half siblings after they got pregnant together. Apparently their dad has, I think they said 21 kids. Like wtf.
My paternal grandparents had 12 children born between 1946 and 1960; my maternal grandparents had 8 children born between 1934 and 1952 - obviously, it was a different time and place.
Would have loved to have known OPās reasoning behind so many children.
Pullout game was weak, now itās painting a bullseye around an already shot arrow. Thereās no justification for it in a 1st world country beyond selfishness or religious fundamentalism (selfishness).
Having this many children is objectively irresponsible. Thereās no possible way to parent that many children in a meaningful way and give them all the time they deserve. It also turns into a burden on the other family members. What if everyone did this? The world would be so overpopulated. Dude- wrap it up.
Yes, yes! The dude is so ignorant he came here bragging on his inability to regulate his body or actually raise a family properly, just that he can get it in. Regular folks know thatās not a flex. Iām so sick and tired of the weakest links procreating; weāre raising a country of poor, cereal and ramen fed low achievers.
And thank you; youāre the people I want to stand up for at a game and thank for their service.
Yup. The mess these people make and the more educated sane ones have to clean up. This is why evolution can't catch up. We need to rely on something else... Thanos, perhaps.
Ngl, probably this first time heās actually had this much pushback. Heās surrounded himself for years, clearly, by people who kept supporting him through whatever and whenever. Not surprising Reddit ragging on him got him to run if itās the first time heās ever actually been told he was stupid for his decisions. Lots of southern states just judge you silently
Holy hell man. Were pretty close to the same age & I only have 1 of my own. Couldn't imagine having a new born at my age. I am sending my one & only off to college this year and hope that she waits to have kids until she is out of college & a responsible adult standing on her own.
Got no issues with teen fathers. Iāve got an issue with someone who has 9 kids. I guarantee that you arenāt giving enough attention to each kid. Just irresponsible.
A dude I used to work with had 10 kids. One day he was bitching about not having enough money, and my boss pointed out he could have a 4 car garage filled with Ferraris if he didn't bang every open hole he could find. The guy got super upset and was bitching to me about how it was rude to point that out. He didn't like my response of "He's an asshole, but he's right."
I worked with a guy who had eight kids and he argued with the boss that he should get more than other employees of the same station because he had more mouths to feed. The boss said, without missing a beat, "if I gave you more money will you buy condoms?"
My sister was adopted when she was 2. She had a child at 17. Her biological mom had her at 16. When she found her biological mom, there were 5 generations of her family all alive.
We had 5 gens alive in my family at one point. We were able to get all five of them in a pic where the oldest was 98yo and youngest was 4m. I'm glad we did because a few weeks after there were 4 gens alive
I donāt think the whole ā5 generationsā thing is that crazy and it definitely doesnāt necessitate teen parents.
When my daughter was born, my wifeās great-grandparents were still alive. The last one died at 96 when my daughter was 5.
My wife was 22 when she gave birth, her mom was 27, her grandmother was 20, and her great-grandmother was 24.
Edit: I didnāt mean to come across as judgy or contradictory. I just found that OPās claim was a little overstated and ran with it in the first comment that said something similar. It can happen all sorts of ways.
I think he said that he dropped out of high school and relied on the family trucking business, so he has no formal education. That's why I don't get why he thought this was so endearing. It's not. He just doesn't like condoms and doesn't care enough about the consequences.
Just why, man? You lost a lot of life. And that's very real. Not saying your kids and grandkids are a shit situation, but you never had a chance to breathe. I'm not jealous on any level.
Broās greatest fear is a condom ššš
But seriously, does it not feel strange that your entire lineage was unsuccessful in beating teen pregnancy? Like doesnāt society judge? Isnt it financially really tough to raise kids so early?
What is there to genuinely understand about having that many kids like ffs stop and consider how there's no way you can responsibly raise that many children unless you are an incredibly high earner. Kids aren't asked to be born and anyone here who is stuck in defending this behavior has no grasp on childhood poverty.
I know for a fact you donāt help your wife at home and that your older children are having to do some of the parenting themselves. You failed your son and the girl he got pregnant cause I bet he treats her the same way you treat your wife as most behaviors are learned ones and thatās not fair to either of them. Let alone their baby who has to grow up in that mess. Please get a vasectomy.
Even if homies a Millionaire there ain't no way he has the time to give 10 children the love and care they need to properly develop which is exactly why he's a grandpa at 33. Bro's a bigger loser than most people on this site.
Jesus, I wonāt even get another cat bc Iām afraid I wonāt be able to care for and love on all of them equally. (I have 3 now.) But ppl just out here having a litter of actual human kids like itās nothing. š¤¦š»āāļøš¤£
This is nothing to brag about. Anyone can have sex without birth control. Caring for even one child is a full-time job. Ten kids mean none of them are getting the care they need. I find it really sad that anyone thinks this is an achievement.
imagine posting this like itās something to be proud about. half of your kids might like it and be happy about your family if youāre lucky, the rest will grow up and resent you forever.
The delusional guy thought posters on Reddit were gonna praise him for being such a great parent but his thin skin made him delete his account instead.
It's okay though, he'll just have another kid and make himself feel better.
Lmao, did OP really think he was going to get respectful comments when heās coming in talking about his lineage of teen parents? Like cāmon bro, have some more sense than that.
Then againā¦.might not have had any sense to begin with
Did you ever consider leaving your child's mother at 16 and just doing child support? And aside from the intense experience of pregnancy and birth, did you notice any differences between being a teen dad vs. being a teen mom, particularly social?
How bad is all of your education, 5 generations and Noone knows how to use a condom?
Not even gonna say you ruined your life, it's worth nothing, so nothing wasted here. But maybe you'd want your children to do better then yourself?
What a little bitch. Your family doesn't practice birth control or believe in abortions yet you're surprised by all the comments you willingly opened yourself up to?
I myself became a mum at 16 and my oldest is now 9. Do you reckon there's anything you could've done ''differently'' in a way for your son to not follow in the cycle of teen parenthood?
I became a mom at 16. My oldest 2 are now 24 and 25 and broke the cycle of teen parents after many generations on both sides. I'm so proud of them. I have 4 amazing kids! We were just always very honest about the struggles. My oldest was very determined to make money in his youth. That's what he's doing. He recently got engaged to the girl he's been with since their HS sophomore year. They don't want to have children until their 30s. They don't want their children to experience financial hardships and to raise them in a home they own. My 24-year-old doesn't want children. For now, I only have granddogs. I married their dad a month after I turned 17 (the law here with parental consent and no judge approval, at least in 1997). Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer when the kids were still young, and I became a widow. So they experienced difficult times in their childhood, which helped them become the most amazing, strong, independent, caring adults I could have dreamed of. I still have 2 teens at home. One is older than I was when I had my oldest (and not pregnant). The other is right around the corner, and I have no doubt they will be successful like their adult siblings.
you sound soo proud of your kids. rightfully so. I love it! š„°
Not a teen mom. In fact, my mom had my at 30 and her mom had her at 30 (in part because of WW2 getting in the way of prime baby making time). And her mom had her at 30 just because thatās where she fell in birth order. So, literally, I thought 30 was just the appropriate time to have babies. Thatās what I saw. And my grandma and mom had gone to college and worked, so I āknewā you had to do that first. I really think a lot of it is what is normalized. Sure itās āharderā but you also know it *can* be done. And maybe even done well, if you admire your mom and how well she raised you and how āeasyā she made it look. My mom made it look hard, even with money and age and a half assed partner. Never occurred to me you could do it at 1/2 her age. I watch all the teen mom shows and I am flabbergasted because I can barely adult on my own, without a kid. Also, abortion was ALWAYS on the table in my family, and I went to religious school where I was taught otherwise. But at home, they were adamantly pro choice and indicated early and often there would be no judgement. I donāt know if thatās as easy to do when you are a teen mom or the product of a teen mom because the implication is āI wouldnāt or shouldnāt have had youā. Like, to me, the vibe was, use birth control, but if you have a āmistake,ā we can ātake care of it.ā If you are talking to a kid who wasnāt planned, you canāt really speak like that. How do you say āyou were an āaccidentā I kept and loveā¦but you should definitely not keep your own āaccidentāā? Shit, my BIL is a 40 year old man and his dad just told him (for no good reason) that his mom said she fell out of love with him years before BIL was even conceived, and it has rocked his world that he wasnāt āconceived in love.ā Heās dissecting it in therapy now. So I canāt imagine trying to have a āhere are ALL your optionsā conversation with a kid who is here because you didnāt take all your options. And thereās no other way to unring that bell once you are pregnant. I donāt envy parents at all. As noted above, I watch the teen mom shows, and they just convinced me further I was not prepared as an adult to parent. I canāt imagine doing it as a teen. And then raising a teen. So many things to worry about that werenāt even a thing when I was growing up, PLUS the things that were.
I think about that a lot and believe me I tried to stress to him the dangers of it. But I guess I just wasnāt good enough. I guess we try our best but sometimes itās not good enough. I am proud that my son stayed in school and he became a lawyer while also being a teen dad.Ā
Whoa! Iām really impressed by that. My grandmother was 37 when I was born, so my familyās trajectory wasnāt that different from yours. Iām also a lawyer. And I canāt imagine trying to do that with kids and especially if Iād had kids early under not so great circumstances (not sure what your sonās were, but Iām assuming no benefactor or lottery win). He must be tough as nails and very motivated and Iām sure some of that came from you.
Awesome for your son but what about the teenage mother? Was she able to continue her education as well? Often times in these situations the ones who suffer the most short and long term pain are the young women.
My question as well. That's great that he got to knock someone up and go on to law school but what is she up to?
Kids don't see around the same corners that adults do. He thought, it won't happen to me, and then it happened. :( With boys you can hand them condoms and hope they use them, and hope the girl is on B.C. When you have a daughter, you make sure she is on it. With both sexes you talk until you can't, and they either pay attention or they don't.
At the end of the day itās a fight over hormonal impulse and wisdom and unfortunately wisdom comes along after we are impulsive.
Youth is wasted on the young and wisdom is wasted on the wise.
I donāt think itās as simple as that because if it was then teen parenthood numbers would be similar across all demographics. I think itās more to do with opportunities available to you and modelling the behaviour you see around you.
My mom was 16 when she had me (13 when she had my older sister) and Iām also a lawyer. Donāt be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you did the best you could and you seem to have good kids who have done well for themselves!
The sad thing is kids model what we do much more often than what we say. Teen parents are much more likely to have kids who also become teen parents.
My mom was a teen mom, and I was a teen mom, but that pattern stopped with me. I'm 49, and my kids, 31 and 29 sons, and my 18 year old daughter, have not had any kids. It was one of the things I educated them on heavily. My daughter was my main concern, but she is so much better than I was. I was a teen mom and a high school dropout. I eventually got my hs diploma through distance learning and went on to become a registered nurse with a masters degree in science. I tried to model what my mother never did/could.
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I run the family trucking business moving goods from place to place. It makes a good amount of moneyĀ
What kind of trucking? How are you all surviving this freight recession? Wishing you the best of luck. Iām stressed supporting two kids. Canāt imagine the burden of taking care of so many.
Ah, so this was a long term staffing strategy. Smart!
But where do you live that that supports all those children and do you expect they all will get college educations, or do you have room for them all to have a livable wage within the family business?
Spawned his own employees just like we did back in the day.
Do you like having a big family?
Yeah I like having one. I love all my kids and my grandkids. Growing up itās been a habit to have a lot of kids in prior generations of my family. At times it can get exhausting but I wouldnāt trade my family for nothing
Do you not try to prevent having your sons or daughter be young parents by educating them? I imagine fatherhood at that age was not ideal for you or any careers?
I try my best with all my kids but sometimes your best isnāt enough. It is definitely far from ideal. I dropped out of school to help take care of him. Luckily I could join the family business to make a living but I had to give up a lot. Iām proud that my son stayed in school and is now a lawyer. Better than I could do
What did you do to try to educate them or prevent another chain of teen pregnancies? You mention trying - I am curious about the specifics.
I think that OP would have listed specifics if that was something they had already done before in the past on a recurring basis to be able to respond in a constructive manner to this question. Not everyone is enlightened enough to to be able to act in their own best interest, let alone the interests of others. All the astro hoes got it right: The lesson will repeat until you fundamentally change your actions. It sounds like he was at least proud of his firstbornās life. We are all just products of our environment at the end of the dayā¦ contributing to the epic called the Anthropocene
I'm going to give you a 10/10 for hitting me with a word I've never seen/heard before. I have to go with 5/10 for the clunky use of the word in a sentence. Actually, I'm gonna give you 11/10 for anthropocene.
Thatās not exactly a āthis is what I said to himā thing you can explain lmao
It is an incredibly difficult cycle to break. My mom, my daughter and I were all teen moms. I pray that my granddaughters break the cycle. If it were as simple as teaching them the right things, the familial precedent wouldnāt be so pervasive.
Why do you think you were a teen mom? Do you think your mom could have influenced you or done something to prevent that?
Good question. I am not sure what would have changed the outcome. I guess if she had been easier to talk to and hadnāt openly disliked my boyfriend (later became my husband) so much things might have gone differently. The more she told me to stay away from him, the more I ran towards him.
But if she did the opposite (encouraged you to run to him, supplied the booze and condoms while you were underage), do you really think you wouldnāt have been a teen parent?
Why is it so difficult. Use protection, problem solved. Only morons donāt use protection and say shit like āgetting knocked up is so hard not to do.ā JFC, the excuses for being irresponsible in this post are sickening.
Will you be teaching your granddaughters about birth control?
How do you find time to spend with each child ?
My childhood best friend is the middle child of seven. We're grown now, but about 2 years ago I called her folks for her new address so I could send her a care package. She's going back to med school, and we're elder millennials, so this is no small task (ie we're very old for med school) I asked her mom what her favorite candies might be, and her mom said to me, "oh, you'd know way better than I would!" And then told me she had too many kids to know their preferences or interests. Um, what? We hadn't hung out much since we were 12, and like 25 years had passed. So, I racked my memory and sent her what I could remember. She sent a note right away saying she couldn't believe how seen I had made her feel, simply by remembering that pink starburst were her favorites. It breaks my heart every time I think about it. Someone who knew her 25 years ago as a kid knew her better than her own mother.
I am a grandmother raising six full sibling grandchildren due to a family tragedy. I work full time but am off summers. I am careful to not parentify the kids but there are five girls and one boy. The girls genuinely care for their younger siblings. I try to devote more time to the youngest two but I think I am fairly even. The most important work I do is cooking and shopping and allowing them to have pets. Itās also important to realize you have to take turns with allowing extras. The kids are enterprising. They ski, hike, and rock climb on their own. I feel badly for families that allowed this to happen as siblings are worth more than wealth
My grandma on my mom side had 12 kids - at that time in a patriarchal, war-torn country with no concept of contraceptive. It was given that the older siblings took on parenting roles. Time was different for them but I'm sure that couldn't have contributed to a healthy childhood if at 12 you're responsible for your 1-10-year-old siblings.
yep. even my wife, whose parents are from Tonga and moved here early 90s, was tasked with practically raising and caring for her younger siblings. sheāll randomly tell me new stories from her childhood still after 13 years together and itās always about her practically being a mom to 3 kids at 9 years old. it makes me so mad and sad. iām sure her parents were trying but god damn - i have an 11, 9 and 2 yr old and i feel awful about leaving the 2 yr old with the older girls just to take a shower.
I know ppl were giving you a hard time but I think it's great you're this protective of your wife and kids. My grandmother was really traumatized from having to raise all her siblings.
My mum was the eldest girl of 6 kids and basically raised her 3 youngest siblings. The resentment she felt towards her own mother for basically robbing her of a childhood never went away.
My friendās husband had the parentified role. He was the oldest of 6 and basically cared for the siblings into their teen years because the parents were both addicts. Heās a defense lawyer now and refuses to have children saying he already did it. My friend didnāt want children either, so win-win.
Same here. My grandma wasn't the oldest but she was parentified. She resented her parents and didn't bother to maintain contact with any of her 9 siblings after she left the house and got married.
šÆšÆ my mom raised her 5 younger siblings and 3 kids of her own. I was the youngest and there wasn't an ounce of time, attention, love, or patience left by the time I came around. Absolutely why I didn't have kids of my own
Same with my mom. Oldest of 6, was very angry by the time her youngest sister was born when she was 15, because the family didnāt have enough money as it was and a lot of the childcare was falling on her.
As much as the big families swear this isnāt a thing, itās almost always a thing.
Similar here except that my mom was the next to youngest of 4 kids, butā¦. the only female. Her mom left her abusive father, but it was the south in the 50s and there is no feasible way a single mom of 4 would surviveā¦.. Which left my mom, at 8, raising her younger brother and doing all the cooking and cleaning for all 3 brothers and an abusive father. She was not okay. Still isnāt.
Yeah, my mom is the eleventh of twelve kids, and she was essentially raised by her oldest sister who resented her and the other younger siblings. My mom totally understands why my aunt felt that resentment, and had started to work on mending their relationship when my aunt passed of cancer. Ugh. Parentification is not good.
im the eldest of 8. by the time i was 11-12, i was the official regular babysitter because both my parents often worked evenings, so i often took care of suppers putting the kids to sleep and what not, but i never perceived that part of my childhood as being unhealthy š with time, i split those roles with the next older ones as they got older and there were also new additions to the family. im honestly really greatful for having grown up like that, all of us are super super close and we have a pretty unique beautiful sibling cohesion i believe partly from us raising each other btw im 22 so this is no old time story
Same with mine. My Nana was 1 of 12 and dropped out of high school to help raise them. Not fair to any of the kids imo
Tbf way back in the day, getting education (specially for women) was a lot harder than it is now, even in a small family. My grandma was one of 4 (and I think the youngest) and was never able to get any education beyond primary school. My grandpa was only able to get a high school education (forget college!) only cause some rich aristocrat for whom my great-grandpa worked was willing to pay for his education, otherwise he would have dropped out after primary school too.
On the other hand, this is how everyone who wasnāt extremely wealthy grew up for the vast majority of human history. I grew up helping to take care of my little brother because I was significantly older than him. It never felt like a terrible burden, it was just what needed to be done. Anyone who grows up with absolutely no responsibility except recreation and study is very privileged, and frankly I donāt know which of the two is more unhealthy. Itās certainly given me a close bond with my sibling.
Too bad OP ran offā¦I do wonder if heās ever actually asked his kids how they feel about having that many siblings. Two parents canāt make enough time to be attentive to 10 kids at once. They just canāt. Edit: 8 kids š
I was a parentified child and I only had 2 younger siblings. It genuinely makes me so upset when I hear about people who had many children especially at a young age when theyāre usually immature and donāt know how to handle children. Itās so difficult for the parents to make time for each child and to take care of them, so they usually donāt. Iām still somewhat resentful of my parents for putting so much pressure on me and I canāt imagine having to take care of so many younger siblings. I swore to myself to have children when Iām much older so I donāt make the same mistakes my parents did but also not to give my child the stress I had growing up. I wish these kinds of parents would at least acknowledge the harm they caused and while I donāt know OP, the fact that heās ignoring this question is questionable and sad. I feel for every parentified child out there.
Iām the oldest of 9 and I didnāt even swear to myself, just have passively accepted that I donāt want any kids because raising my siblings wasnāt a fun experience. Dad is still broke and old and keeps changing jobs/careers so now Iām mentally preparing for a possible round two of providing for or otherwise parentally inverting to support the children he kept having when he couldnāt even afford myself and my siblings closest to me in age.
Yup. I spent a lot of time in Utah and had this conversation so many times. I'm sorry it's just facts. Time is limited and you cannot be a good parent when you have that many kids. At some point your oldest kids are having to parent when they didn't sign up for it. I won't die on this hill because frankly it doesn't affect me directly, but I think having more than three or four kids is selfish. There's no way they're not parentifying the oldest children.
Seriously. We were just three evenly spread out, and I can see as an adult that that was already a lot of juggling to give us each attention. And we certainly didnāt each get it despite a good amount of effort.
I can barely give my three dogs enough attention idk how parents do it with humans š
I have aunts with the same number of kids as OP. In one family the children were well-taken care of, werenāt responsible for the younger ones, and get/had one-on-one time with each parent. The kids are spread out over 17 years, all have attended or are attending college and graduating with 0 debt (my uncle does very well). The kids all get along well (and so do their children as the older ones have families) and they are great to be around. My other aunt struggled raising that many and received a lot of outside help from my other relatives. At times, her older children were responsible for too much, but family stepped in and that stopped. Still, her children have all attended or are attending college, get alone well with each other and are very close, and are happy well-adjusted people. My point is this - I see families with one or two kids who do a shit job of parenting and giving attention to their children. It depends on the family, the finances, the parentsā mental health, etc. Itās unfair to just automatically assume they arenāt supporting their childrenās needs emotionally/psychologically/physically. Attitudes towards parenting have changed greatly and some of the changes are detrimental to childrenās well being in my opinion. And if you ask my cousins (or me, being one of 5), they wouldnāt trade their childhood/family for anything. I love my siblings and never felt neglected or treated poorly and neither do my cousins.
Having a large number of siblings significantly increases the amount of parentification of older children, sure it worked out for you just as sometimes someone wins the lottery that does not mean everyone should be buying tickets
The way it happens is the daughters especially get to parent their siblings. It's a shame.
Kind of you to assume all the children have the same mother.
Good thing he only has 8 soon to be 9
He doesnāt. My mom is one of nine, and the oldest were also āadultsā when the youngest was born. None of those children has a good memory of their parents actually spending time with them. And they all had the same parents. I highly doubt OP has that many children with the same woman, so heās also not spending full time with any of those kids.
Where do you live, country/region/state-wise?
I dont mean to be rude, but it sounds like you regretted being a teen parent and at least try and teach your own kids better, but also you're 45 and still haven't learned how to stop having kids? 10 kids is too many kids for two people to handle, it's very unlikely there is no parentification or neglect happening when you have that many. How do your other children feel about you continuing to have children? Do they feel they have been parentified or had to make too many sacrifices? You're getting understandable pushback because you seem proud of this, and because people are aware of the problems of very large families. You also don't mention how your children have been affected by this.Ā
Poor OP really misjudged his audience, my goodness. Not sure what kind of pat on the back this dude was expecting.
Iām kind of the opposite. My dad was 49 when I was born. His dad was 43 when he was born. Always wondered what itād be like on the opposite side of the spectrum. My grandparents were both long dead before I was born. In your situation, everyone had a young and healthy grandparent to bond with.
Thanks to the pandemic, there will be a lot more people like you. I had my first, and most likely only, child at 41 years old. I'm so tired, BTW. I have three other close friends my age who did the same. One of them is having a second. The others are so tired like me.
Same here, my mom was 41 and my dad was 43 when I was born. I had classmates whose grandparents were the same age or younger than my parents, while mine were in nursing care in my few memories of them.
Maybe you should do an AMA. (I'm not entirely unserious, though after this one I wouldn't really expect anyone to want to do one.)
Thanks. But thereās nothing interesting to share. Never knew most of my dadās family b/c they were too old. He was the 2nd youngest by far. So they were all dead or close to it by the time I was able to interact with any one them. I only really knew one uncle. And it wasnāt as if I knew him well.
I'm not the OP but we had five generations til I was sixteen, now we have four. I love that my kid is so close to her great grandparents. It's such a joy to see them together. My gran was a teen parent and all the rest of us have had kids in our twenties.Ā There's something to be said for multigenerational bonds and having the energy for kids when you're young.Ā
My only question is why you thought you would get any positive response to terrible life choices. This is not a heart warming or ācuteā fact about your life. Itās actually really sad. We donāt need teen parents breeding like you have been. As Bill Burr said-āthatās not a family photo, thatās an environmental disaster.ā Get fixed and stop having future teen parents.
Man thatās kind of fucked up, I myself also became a father at 17 and my daughter is currently 16. I do literally everything in my power to make sure she doesnāt make the same mistakes I do. I know first hand how hard that life is and want better for her.
How can someone have and raise a kid at 16, work a tough trucking job for years to support that kid, but then be soft enough for mild reddit comments to make you delete your account within a couple hours š
My parents started having kids together at ages 13 and 17 (There was a 6 year gap between the first baby who was given up for adoption and my sister). They are emotionally stunted people. My mom was 25 when she had me so not a child. But my parents never really had a chance to grow up and their emotional problems have ruined our family. Itās the complete dynamic out of that book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Teenagers have zero business having children and our society is so stupid for not trying harder to prevent these unwanted and unneeded pregnancies. The fact that this dude ran away whining just demonstrates that further. This man made himself responsible for creating 10 balanced well-rounded people and he canāt even handle fake people on an internet forum.
In every one of his comments he mentions his 'mistakes' and his parenting 'not being strong enough so the kids act differently' and that he is 'very proud of his son who made better choices and became a lawyer' etc so I think he is already internalizing the modern scorn of large families and middle class aspirationalism and if given a second chance would do otherwise. When others push him, even mildly, in the same direction, it reinforces all those negative emotions he already has. He can't take it. I have seen people with massive families that fully own it and don't mention any mistakes being made but are single heartedly pround and tell their own kids that is the way. He is very conflicted about it.
Probably because his lifestyle/choices have been praised up until today. Dollars to donuts he's been fed some type of "overcoming adversity" narrative. Then came here and questioned like he was a cautionary tale. This dude speed ran becoming a boomer.
Bro never got a chance to actually grow up šš
Too busy busting fat nuts in everything that moves
None of that requires maturity or wisdom.
How do you raise 9 kids and not have the strength for a reddit AMA? You don't. It is that simple. Nobody raises 9 kids. What they usually do is parentify the older ones, which is abuse btw. Even less ppl are able to parent 9 children AND run a business. Like srsly š 9 kids to parent (with grandkids already), a business to run, and still finds time to impregnate and reddit. You should have a youtube channel fr.
Or it's with seven different women and every single one of those kids has been abandoned and is now living with a struggling single mom but he wants the credit for raising them.
If this is true--and that's a big IF--I wonder how the woman (women) in this situation are doing. Do THEY have time to do an AMA?
He doesnāt see women as equals, but breeding machines. Thank god his family has a trucking company to support his ass and his irresponsible breeding. Which is ironic since his pullout game is so weak.
Facts. I just feel bad for the simple woman he convinced to partake in this nonsense with him
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OP kept saying how proud he was of his son for remaining in school and becoming a lawyer despite teen parenthood but never actually answered the questions about the son's partner's fate, which is very telling.
Generous of you to assume all the kids have the same mother. Iād wager how he goes about supporting them all isāhe doesnāt. Dude probably has a few kids to every mother and theyāre stuck taking care of them while he fucks off travelling around the country.
>It's not you that has to shit a grape out of his dick every 9 months, Shouldn't it be piss, or pass, said grape?
Well, l went by the analogy that women shit out kids, but l know what you mean. I guess we should be more consistent with our analogies, no matter how vulgar.
Pulling out the driveway š¤£
It makes me think of the ending to Idiocracy.
Thereās a guy who had 11 kids by nine women. He was on the news bcoz he needed reduced child support payments. A couple of his BMs received less than $3 monthly. Hopefully that trucking money goes a long way.
sounds like my cousin's baby daddy. she got knocked up right out of hs and didn't realize he already had some other kids by other women. he ended up with around a dozen kids by some 8 or so women. she lost her mind and had a second with him as well (though she'd been told she couldn't get pregnant again). she didn't tell them and i let it slip one day not realizing they didn't know when we were watching anna and the king and her daughter asked if all those kids were his, yup just like your dad. cousin gave me such a look and mouthed "they don't know" whoops gotta warn me about stuff like that.
i feel like i know who your talking about. he had like some ugly had and teeth and was bragging about his 2 or 3 dollars a month to his 6 or 7 baby mamas
Yeah there have been a couple of those guys. One of his BMs had two of his kids. Went back for seconds smh. At that point itās just flatulence in the brain.
I saw a couple on Soft White Underbelly who found out they were half siblings after they got pregnant together. Apparently their dad has, I think they said 21 kids. Like wtf.
My paternal grandparents had 12 children born between 1946 and 1960; my maternal grandparents had 8 children born between 1934 and 1952 - obviously, it was a different time and place. Would have loved to have known OPās reasoning behind so many children.
Pullout game was weak, now itās painting a bullseye around an already shot arrow. Thereās no justification for it in a 1st world country beyond selfishness or religious fundamentalism (selfishness).
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āSimple people do simple shit and fuckinā is one of themā My god I need this on a T shirt š
Having this many children is objectively irresponsible. Thereās no possible way to parent that many children in a meaningful way and give them all the time they deserve. It also turns into a burden on the other family members. What if everyone did this? The world would be so overpopulated. Dude- wrap it up.
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Yes, yes! The dude is so ignorant he came here bragging on his inability to regulate his body or actually raise a family properly, just that he can get it in. Regular folks know thatās not a flex. Iām so sick and tired of the weakest links procreating; weāre raising a country of poor, cereal and ramen fed low achievers. And thank you; youāre the people I want to stand up for at a game and thank for their service.
Yup. The mess these people make and the more educated sane ones have to clean up. This is why evolution can't catch up. We need to rely on something else... Thanos, perhaps.
I don't see that many rude comments until after he left people making fun of that. I think some of the questions were too difficult.
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Did anyone ever ask if heās Mormon? Wouldnāt be too unusual. I was raised in the church til I became a teen and rebelled.
If youāre this sensitive to comments like this and prematurely delete, I have a better understanding how you would have had so many kids so young.
Ngl, probably this first time heās actually had this much pushback. Heās surrounded himself for years, clearly, by people who kept supporting him through whatever and whenever. Not surprising Reddit ragging on him got him to run if itās the first time heās ever actually been told he was stupid for his decisions. Lots of southern states just judge you silently
Holy hell man. Were pretty close to the same age & I only have 1 of my own. Couldn't imagine having a new born at my age. I am sending my one & only off to college this year and hope that she waits to have kids until she is out of college & a responsible adult standing on her own.
Got no issues with teen fathers. Iāve got an issue with someone who has 9 kids. I guarantee that you arenāt giving enough attention to each kid. Just irresponsible.
A dude I used to work with had 10 kids. One day he was bitching about not having enough money, and my boss pointed out he could have a 4 car garage filled with Ferraris if he didn't bang every open hole he could find. The guy got super upset and was bitching to me about how it was rude to point that out. He didn't like my response of "He's an asshole, but he's right."
I worked with a guy who had eight kids and he argued with the boss that he should get more than other employees of the same station because he had more mouths to feed. The boss said, without missing a beat, "if I gave you more money will you buy condoms?"
My sister was adopted when she was 2. She had a child at 17. Her biological mom had her at 16. When she found her biological mom, there were 5 generations of her family all alive.
We had 5 gens alive in my family at one point. We were able to get all five of them in a pic where the oldest was 98yo and youngest was 4m. I'm glad we did because a few weeks after there were 4 gens alive
I donāt think the whole ā5 generationsā thing is that crazy and it definitely doesnāt necessitate teen parents. When my daughter was born, my wifeās great-grandparents were still alive. The last one died at 96 when my daughter was 5. My wife was 22 when she gave birth, her mom was 27, her grandmother was 20, and her great-grandmother was 24. Edit: I didnāt mean to come across as judgy or contradictory. I just found that OPās claim was a little overstated and ran with it in the first comment that said something similar. It can happen all sorts of ways.
I think five generations, heck even four generations, is extremely rare.
I mean you made a mistake and your kid repeated your same mistake but you're mad that people are pointing it out?
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I think he said that he dropped out of high school and relied on the family trucking business, so he has no formal education. That's why I don't get why he thought this was so endearing. It's not. He just doesn't like condoms and doesn't care enough about the consequences.
Because heās from the South. To them, it *is* endearing.
That's honestly sad. This is a perfect example of generational "curses" and traumas being both created and passed along.
This is literally why the US voting pool is the way it is OP is legitimately the opening scene to Idiocracy
Absolutely. It's completely thoughtless and ignorant
Just why, man? You lost a lot of life. And that's very real. Not saying your kids and grandkids are a shit situation, but you never had a chance to breathe. I'm not jealous on any level.
Nah probably pushed all the work on the baby mommas
How do you afford taking care of all your kids who are minors and still depend on you financially?
In a comment he said he inherited the family business or something, go figure...
Broās greatest fear is a condom ššš But seriously, does it not feel strange that your entire lineage was unsuccessful in beating teen pregnancy? Like doesnāt society judge? Isnt it financially really tough to raise kids so early?
A condom or reddit comments in an AMA. OP is a snowflake.
What is there to genuinely understand about having that many kids like ffs stop and consider how there's no way you can responsibly raise that many children unless you are an incredibly high earner. Kids aren't asked to be born and anyone here who is stuck in defending this behavior has no grasp on childhood poverty.
I know for a fact you donāt help your wife at home and that your older children are having to do some of the parenting themselves. You failed your son and the girl he got pregnant cause I bet he treats her the same way you treat your wife as most behaviors are learned ones and thatās not fair to either of them. Let alone their baby who has to grow up in that mess. Please get a vasectomy.
What kind of man cant take losers on reddit idk. Also say what you want having 10 kids you arent a parent youre more of a breeder
Even if homies a Millionaire there ain't no way he has the time to give 10 children the love and care they need to properly develop which is exactly why he's a grandpa at 33. Bro's a bigger loser than most people on this site.
Jesus, I wonāt even get another cat bc Iām afraid I wonāt be able to care for and love on all of them equally. (I have 3 now.) But ppl just out here having a litter of actual human kids like itās nothing. š¤¦š»āāļøš¤£
I feel I've put far more thought into owning pets than some people put into having kids.
āthe stupid redneck can get off your elite siteā has me giggling lmaooo
Half the people on reddit are jobless and poor. they are the furthest thing from elite
Lol nice fuck around and find out moment, literallyĀ Who the hell would respect a guy that's both a failed child and a failed parent?
What was your sexual education like? Have you ever heard of contraception? What is your income like?
This is nothing to brag about. Anyone can have sex without birth control. Caring for even one child is a full-time job. Ten kids mean none of them are getting the care they need. I find it really sad that anyone thinks this is an achievement.
imagine posting this like itās something to be proud about. half of your kids might like it and be happy about your family if youāre lucky, the rest will grow up and resent you forever.
Why is the movie "Idiocracy" the first thing that comes to mind when reading this???
Shit dude chill out there's hardly even that many comments.
āAsk me anything.ā āWait, no. Not that. Or that. Or that. Bye!ā
Dude opened internet and took it personal ā¦
I think someone realized they were going to get caught lying.
Same mother to all the kids? If not how many baby mommas?
Really want to know this answer!
Wow. Homie deleted his account. He can pull out!
The delusional guy thought posters on Reddit were gonna praise him for being such a great parent but his thin skin made him delete his account instead. It's okay though, he'll just have another kid and make himself feel better.
šš¼šš¼šš¼ I thought the comments were pretty mild for Reddit
Take my broke person's gold šš you've earned it
Lmao, did OP really think he was going to get respectful comments when heās coming in talking about his lineage of teen parents? Like cāmon bro, have some more sense than that. Then againā¦.might not have had any sense to begin with
Rubbers arenāt that expensive, bro
Lot less expensive than having 10 kids thatās for sure
How many times have you been married/divorced?
Buddy didnāt even make it 6 hours on Redditš
So Nick Cannon, are you ever going to see your kids?
Did you ever consider leaving your child's mother at 16 and just doing child support? And aside from the intense experience of pregnancy and birth, did you notice any differences between being a teen dad vs. being a teen mom, particularly social?
Do you ever feel any guilt about how many people youāve added to an already over populated world and taxed natural resources?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thin skin is probably why he is afraid of condoms
Which is crazy, because Trojan makes them so thin that they're practically non-existent. He could've had the best of both worlds.
I'm sure you're populating the planet with smart, thoughtful people. Keep it up Clevon!
I'm sorry, but I find this utterly inexplicable.
I think despicable is a better word
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Stop having fucking kids dude. Jesus Christ.
Do you feel like a neglectful deadbeat who is just setting up kids for a life of misery?
Whatās your favorite family tradition?
Probably fuckin.
Youāre happy, what about the mother of your children?
and first two daughters
Infant mortality rate is at an all time low, and there are no major land wars, plagues or famines. Your family should slow down.
I knew a super religious family in high school and there was hella kids from that family. They all looked identical and they were weird as fuck.
How bad is all of your education, 5 generations and Noone knows how to use a condom? Not even gonna say you ruined your life, it's worth nothing, so nothing wasted here. But maybe you'd want your children to do better then yourself?
Wow 45 and still acting 16 and can't handle others opinions and judgement
On internet! Wtf did he expect? Could have been pretty good AMA if he just waited a bit longer.
Pulling out of this post mustāve been a first for OP
Are you in a cult? Are your children from more than one mother?
Wah wah wah, the narcissistic breeder is disappointed that moral people disagree with his BS.
Sounds like that 16 year old never grew up.
What a little bitch. Your family doesn't practice birth control or believe in abortions yet you're surprised by all the comments you willingly opened yourself up to?
You remind of that family in Idiocracy. And no, not the couple.
Please stop saying sorry to this dude. He got on the internet, posted something, got upset, and deleted his account. Heās not special for that.
Heās actually the farthest thing from special at all
Have you ever pulled out? Are you planning on answering any of these questions?
No hobbies besides fuckin? And no birth control for 4 generations . Wow.
At 49 do you think you will be a great grandfather?
Well..sorry but that's nothing to be proud of. Lol!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
As long as you aināt using taxpayer money to fund all those kids
Ever watch the documentary: *Idiocracy*?
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Bro is allergic to condoms