Yeah this exactly. For any somewhat responsible adult, the weight of running out of money and not having a job for a few months is wildly stressful. Was in that position a couple years ago at 27 and struggled to find another job for a a bit. No fun choosing between rent and bills or not eating.
Same brother. Couldn't work because of jaw and neck issues. Going through treatment the last 2 years has been expensive asf and with not being able to work it crippled me financially. Slowly getting better and am back at work now. I have no issue whatsoever doing overtime rn in fact I have been disappointed and worried anytime I DON'T feel exhausted at the end of the week. Poverty is a great motivator. Working sucks at times but it is not in the same league as worrying about money every second of the day. I'm not going back to that place.
Ya, it really is.
Healthcare is tied to your job. Lose your job, lose access to healthcare. I'd love to pursue my passion, I could even afford the pay hit. Just adding me to my spouse's insurance is a net budget change of like $1200/m - so if I went part time, started my own business - any of that - just healthcare is an extra $1200/m off the top from me not having my own full time job with better priced health plan. I'm not even sick right now, but if I have a bad flare up or appendicitis, I'd rather not be out $20-150k.
Adding me to her health plan is more than my mortgage payment when I bought my house.
That's not an issue in a civilized country.
For a country that brags about being so rich so many of its people shouldn't be so poor. It's really fucked. I won't be surprised if the USA is downgraded from first world country at some point.
Damn man sorry to hear that wishing you the best, can relate to a degree couple years ago I kept getting kicked while I was down with one unfortunate event after another and developed some mental issues and big financial issues from it and my credit tanked hard, picked up a second job and still ended up homeless for about 6 months. Much better now but I’ll never forget 2022-23, it was traumatic leading me to be obsessed with how to make more and more money to never end up back there and only rely on myself. poverty really is the biggest motivator. After that work doesn’t suck so much anymore given the alternative is a living hell.
Prior to 2020 I worked 350-450 hours of overtime a year. 2400 hours a year, that is like working 6 dayz a week. Two weeks off around Christmas 🎄 It depends on how much you like your work. Certainly you have to be dedicated, but I did burn out after 10 years. Really the pandemic 😷gave me and the company I was working for a new perspective.
This right here. You have two choices: poverty or well-being. The trick to not getting “burnt out” is planting yourself in a job that you can actually appreciate going to. I’m a huge believer and active participant in the philosophy that if you aren’t happy at your job, you’re not going to be happy.
Why do you think there are so many 40-60 year olds committing suicide? Burnout, stress, bills, mortgages, personal issues, mental health... but no, please work 60 hours a week until you drop dead.
The truest statement ever. The fear of homelessness keeps me going. Try and make sure you schedule your self some vacation days. Force yourself to go out and enjoy the little things when you’re not working. And most importantly, unplug when you’re not at work.
Oh ya. I had/have multiple mini vacations scheduled this year. I only get 15 pto days so its hard cause that is not enough cause it includes sick and emergency time off as well but ill plan like a 5 day weekend and travel for concerts. Holidays too. Just did a 6 hour road trip to see my buddy over the 4th. Go to concerts and go out to bars quite a bit on my time. That can sometimes lead to worse burnout too tho. Rest is needed as well. Which im currently doing. 2 days off a week is not enough. But we gotta do it apparently
Yeah, it’s not like we have a choice. For most people if they don’t work 5 days per week they’ll be homeless. I’m getting burnt out at work, but I’m going to continue going in every day because it beats the alternative in the long run.
I’ve been burnt out for so long I don’t remember what normal feels like anymore…. But yeah, I don’t have a choice. If I don’t go then I don’t have money. And that’s so much worse than being burnt out from work, so I get up and go. Hobbies help though. At least when I get off, I get to do something I enjoy. Only downside is that hobbies cost more money.
I recall 2012 to 2013 going from $7.25 to $8.25. Working only 28 hrs in a week for biweekly pay. Had to choose between food or getting my car fixed. And plus I was renting a room for $400 a month. Using coupons. And making a hard ass decision at 21/22 yrs old. Starve to fix my car and die? Or eat and pray my car last?
This is why you work hard to get an office job. They have the best chairs for being burnt out in. Being burnt out in a walk-in freezer is heckin rough
Edit, typo. Yhey->they
The big secret for me has been unlocking more energy through prioritizing my health. Eating well, sleeping well, and doing a small bit of daily exercise has got me feeling way more energized and motivated. There’s no way to unlock more time, but there are tons of ways to unlock more energy and motivation
I wish I did this sooner, it took until my 30s to really understand this but it's so true.
Eating decent, drinking water, getting rid of a lot of the garbage, taking better care of yourself, being kinder to yourself mentally, being outside more, listening to music that's more positive, avoiding news and politics, all the shit tailor made to get people upset.
Create the best little reality in your own little bubble and things can be much more tolerable. I used to be an irritable grumpy burnt out piece of shit, I hated myself. I'm glad I looked at things more holistically.
I go on bike rides around my neighborhood evenings after work and watch the beautiful sunset/clouds and listen to the birds. I have the whole streets to myself and can zigzag around like a little kid. It's like the whole city is my playground. Don't lose your imagination and parts of your childhood. Life shouldn't be taken too seriously.
I want to do this. I work 7 days a week between 2 jobs, 40 hours at one, and 30 at the other. I'm trying my best but my energy is just fucking gone. I've also got the bonus of being irrationally anxious and forgetful due to some mild brain damage, and it can be a real bitch to work through sometimes. I do it and try my best not to burden anyone with my problems, but internally I feel like im ready to blow. Maybe if I do what you're doing, I could possibly knock the edge off at least.
No choice at the moment. Very long story short, my wife lost her job, and couldn't find one in the same pay bracket. With the cost of daycare and us having 4 kids, it makes more sense money wise for her to now stay home and I work. At least until I can find a more high paying job.
You are going to burn out hard, do you have quality time to spend with your children, wife and yourself? It might be worthwhile for your wife to go back into work even if the entire wage goes into daycare, so you don't have to work your life away and can actually see your family without being exhausted. This will greatly affect your relationships with your wife and children over time if it continues.
Well, my logic is this: why have my wife work 40 hours just to bring home basically nothing when that time could be spent with the kids making memories. The kids have had daycare for years out of necessity, but I've always hated the fact that both of us missed out on spending time with the kids. At least now, my wife is getting to try out the stay at home mom thing for the first time, and it's been a huge improvement in quality of life with her and the kids. That alone makes it worth it. Obviously I don't plan on working 2 jobs forever. But until I find the final solution, this will have to do. I'm pulling strings with friends in other companies that I've made friends with over the years. Hopefully something will come of it soon. If not, it's still nice coming home and seeing my family enjoying each other thoroughly. It's something we've never really had before, and it's something that I want to keep.
Your time and quality of life matters as well, don't let yourself suffer for too long if a solution is taking a while. Your kids will want their dad to be healthy and lively. While they're making memories with their mother, their memories of their father is going to be of an exhausted one they don't get to see much of, and those kinds of memories are the ones that will stick with them into adulthood(may sound harsh, but this is the reality). Best of luck, you're a good selfless man, I know you'd like to keep things as they are for your wifes sake but do think of yourself too!
I am. My dad was always working when I was a kid. He did as much as he could for us, and my parents hid how much they were struggling very well. I didn't get to do a whole lot with my dad growing up, and I'm trying to avoid that with my kids. My dad always spent what little time he had with me and my siblings, and I'm grateful for that. But he never had a ton of free time. He was always working. I'm definitely trying to hit that sweet spot between providing and getting to play outside with my babies. Besides, my oldest is only 2 years from graduation, and I want to enjoy these last couple of years with her before she goes into adulthood and leaves us behind.
I follow you but I think you are trapping yourself. Working for long hours like that makes it very hard to seek better opportunities. The best time to find a new job is on your days off.
I'm glad someone else can relate. Home life has gotten considerably better for my wife and kids since all this went down. It's definitely been a huge step up in that regard.
Just remember to chip in on house chores when you can. I work a ton of hours but after work I try to do dishes if they haven't been done, vacuum, mop whatever little bit that needs done when I get home I try to jump in so she has a head start the following day. Not trying to tell you, your business though. Just don't take her staying home for granted so she still feels appreciated is all. Personally I feel most( not all) moms would be happier staying home with the kids. It's hard to financially pull off these days but if you can do it, do it
Oh don't worry, I'm still the one who does laundry and dishes. I hate the way she does laundry, and she always loads the dishwasher wrong. Lol. It's been a running joke between us for 16 years now, and I'm still not letting her have control of those 2 areas. Also, I still do all the yard work. Besides, it's actually easier to do laundry when I come home and everyone is asleep, and I can do it uninterrupted.
Yea, I'm basically in the same boat
Work 60+ hours, 6 days a week at 2 jobs in the kitchen. I notice I average about 15km when I'm double shifting, but that's only twice a week. Otherwise I'm averaging 10,000 steps.
I've been trying to go back to the gym, but I'm so tapped for energy. I've been having trouble remembering things too; whenever I'm asked about "yesterday" it's usually a blur to me.
This. Every sentence in your comment is spot on and how I try to live my life. This afternoon I spent buying plants at Lowe’s and I worked in my garden until the fireworks started going off. I love photographing my flowers and bees and then pausing to watch the bats come out around dusk. Nature is a constant source of healing.. whether you’re someplace conventionally beautiful like vacation, or in your own backyard.
I’ve dealt with devastating injuries in my 20s that redirected my hobbies so I’ve spent my adult life finding joy in trying lots of new things and learning how important it is to welcome the constantly shifting phases of our life. (I could be sad about losing interest in XY hobby, but the time it opens up allows me to focus on being creative or spending time with a loved one. That’s the positive side of things.)
TLDR: Be curious and don’t forget to appreciate the small moments in life like smelling a flower, or trying something new. Learn to love the mystery and rush involved with change .. it’s hard at times, but so many good things are.
A whole new world opens up when you learn how to appreciate the small things. It gives you little micro events throughout the day the enjoy and look forward to.
I used to hate the term self care, but it's because I didn't understand it. Self care is a lifestyle and mindset, not any singular event or thing.
Love when I find the fellow reasonable person on reddit. This is all great advice. The biggest advice no one wants to hear on here is that if you quit drugs and alcohol, spend time outside and spend time on your mental health 40 hours a week is actually a decent bargain for not being in the woods with the rest of the wild animals killing each other to survive. This is the society we were born in to so either rebel for change or make the most of it.
I used to view myself as nothing but a failure, a fuck up, I viewed myself as nothing but the culmination of all my shortcomings. I was judgemental, harsh towards myself and others. Anger, judgment, resentment are all really toxic emotions that had a strong effect on me.
I started being more accepting of others, more appreciative of what I have, more open to new ideas and taking on new challenges. I stopped viewing my fuck ups as failures, and started viewing them as learning opportunities. I stopped regretting every poor decision I made, and started appreciating the lessons I've learned from them and the growth I've made so far in my life.
I try to see the good in others, not just our differences. I like getting to know people and discovering similarities, it makes people seem more familiar, even strangers and acquaintances.
I've tried to, and continue to put effort into understanding that I'm not the center of the world.
Say to yourself that you forgive yourself. You forgive a friend and don't think twice if they fuck up but our standards for our selves are too high.
Say outloud happyeveryallday I forgive you
Seconded. Enough sleep (7-9 hours) is critical for everyone, for both short- and long-term health. Along with proper diet and some exercise work is no longer as tiring. When I was going to the climbing gym regularly, I ended up with too much energy after work and would get antsy if I didn't go climb at the end of the day.
From climbing? No. Some other injuries though, mostly fingers and the occasional ankle. Once I pulled my back. But generally speaking I think it really helped my overall health.
When I was going 3-5 times a week I was much more flexible, strong, and pain-free, and had more energy overall as well as better cardio even though I didn't really do any cardio workouts.
Yes, eat well and exercise. Automate as many tasks as you can. I have a roomba vacuum and the mop bot too, I pick up groceries via curbside so I don’t have to grocery shop amongst the old boomers blocking isles with their idle chit chat. Meal plan weekly so you don’t have to take extra trips to the store.
I wish I could trust them with fruits and vegetables 😩 where I live fresh produce is so hard to get in person, much less trusting someone to do a quality check.
Finding the line where time meets money, with attention paid to mental health, is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
I like your roomba example. It may cost you 30 hours of work to buy one, but if it gives you more personal time on the back end, it’s well worth it.
I know if you’re living day to day it’s easier said than done, but I think it’s important to value your time correctly and make decisions based on that value.
Ya, I find going to bed early and getting up at my regular time (but then relaxing with a coffee instead of rushing off) helps so much. Get all the “must-do’s” done after coffee and relax or go out in the evening. Rinse and repeat and then it’s Monday.
This. Join the Y and make it a habit. Focus on whole foods. Go for a walk at lunch. Get some sunshine. Make sure you’re sleeping enough and that it’s quality sleep. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
Ever since I started a more physical job, I've been doing just that. Making sure I get a good night's sleep, starting with a good breakfast, making a hearty lunch and good rest when I get home
This is it. I have 3 kids (8, 6 and 10mo), a fairly demanding job (only standard hours but lots of technical analysis and planning, development, etc), a house that needs maintenance and the result of that adulting stuff.
I learned years ago before kids that spending a bit of energy on yourself actually gives you more when you need it (most of the time). These days I don't have a lot of time, but I ride my bike to work, walk the kids to school a couple days a week, have a couple martial arts lessons (one with the kids) and swim with them on the weekend (I swim laps while they do lessons then we have a play together).
Add to that a bit of discipline around sleep and you have a winning formula.
Agree completely even though I struggle to do it. One thing to watch out for is caffeine. I have a bad habit of drinking too much coffee in the morning, crashing, then having another cup in the afternoon to keep me going. I don't eat much if at all and I then don't sleep well either.
We dont. But after being an unemployed adult for an extended period of time i will take being burnt out from a job vs being burnt out from stressing about how Im gonna pay bills
Yeah grateful to have a job and get to pay my bills. took me over 6 months to land one and id rather have one then not after stressing and going through that. That’s my motivation to keep this job and go in everyday.
Oh that's THE EVEN NEATER PART
you don't get to fully burn out. You get to sit comfortably RIGHT at the edge of full on mental breakdown or self-termination, but never actually cross that line, OR get any better. There's adulthood for ya
Nah mate, you can burnout.
I switched jobs in current market, both brain & body gave after getting a good comp offer and it was a struggle for 2 months or so - to even think / thought of using a laptop disgusted me.
If you don't feel the burnout, you are just tired but actual burnout hits different man.
I had a PTSD burnout a year ago that I still haven’t recovered from. It cost me my job and my self-esteem. I was on track to become a highly accomplished person before, like the type of person who graduated at the top of the class, early, honors, blah blah. I can barely keep myself alive at this point. Idk if my marriage will even survive this burnout.
I remember thinking before that I was exhausted, but I still had it in me to power through. Now I barely have the energy and motivation to even put away the clean, folded laundry.
Same here! Burned out so badly, both my brain and body gave out. I thought I could keep forcing myself to work hard in a stressful career forever, turned out I was mistaken. Now I can barely use my hands, my brain is always foggy it feels dead, my memory is terrible, and I find it very challenging to stay alive. I wonder how will I find a job again or get back into the miserable career that led me to this point with the current job market.
You can absolutely burn out. You just have self imposed obligations like a certain lifestyle, starting a family, etc, which stop you. I'd argueit's not really burnout until you start thinking of those things as optional.
I agree. Genuine burn out and you can’t keep going no matter how hard you try and push through. Sickness comes, it’s not just the mental pressure it’s the physical toll too.
Yeah, actually being burnt out was not an option, I stopped it for as long as I could but when it happens, you can't keep going. You don't even want to anymore, you just don't want to exist. Almost destroyed my entire life and I couldn't do anything about it except continue to fall apart. I let everything go, and couldn't work for over a year.
My health was so bad loads of my hair fell out and I thought I was dying. 1 year later and I'm still unable to do mentally taxing tasks without getting a massive headache and having to lie down in a dark room for a while.
I literally cried reading this comment because I thought that nobody could ever understand what I’m currently going through. My self esteem has NEVER been lower. I have all the awards and accolades, I was on track to be successful, I had good relationships with everyone in my life, I enjoyed being alive. I felt like Sisyphus in the sense that I enjoyed the struggle of maintaining my life.
Now I can barely even shower or do laundry. My marriage is in shambles. I’m the heaviest and most sedentary I’ve ever been. I don’t even recognize the monster I’ve become and I’m not suicidal but I wish I didn’t exist. Everything is falling apart and people keep pressuring me to get it together but I can’t. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t.
So, how did you get through it? How did you manage financially? Also, any tips on how to get life back on track?
Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear you're going through this. People talk about burnout a lot but I don't think they always understand how serious it is, and how scared and sick you can get from it. It literally changes your brain and can give you long-term health problems. I just want you to know you're not alone in dealing with this, there's lots of us out here.
My journey with burnout led me to learn a hell of a lot about it, which helped me cope a lot. First thing I want to say is that burnout turns us into the absolute worst versions of ourselves, and you can feel so much shame because of this. You can become emotionally volatile and break every promise you meant to keep, and you don't know how to stop it. That is the worst thing about burnout, I think. The shame and the complete loss of who you were as a person, and who you want to be.
Second thing I want to say is that burnout is an illness that needs to be taken seriously as an illness. It's not something you can just wish away, or work your way out of. You need time to rest and recover, and you need people who are supportive of this. Not all of us get that, unfortunately. But whatever you can do to make this happen, you have to do it.
When I was at my worst, I had to take a break from work for a few months and I lived on my savings. I went to the doctors and a psychicatrist who helped me deal with the acute problems. I was told I should drop everything I can, do nothing, and just go for 1 walk every day. I was given medication to help me sleep at night. I was told I need to take about 15 mins every day to sit in a quiet room and do nothing but sit down. Or lie down in a dark quiet room anytime I was getting worked up. I needed to tell my partner and family to stop asking things of me, and to support me by accepting I'd be useless for a while. I couldn't believe I had to do all this, it seemed extreme. But it helped so much and I finally started to feel like myself again.
Once you're out of the acute stage, you can start to explore what made you burnt out in the first place and start to work on this.
I think what helped the most was learning what the hell I was dealing with because then I could sit my partner down and tell them what was happening with me and what I needed from her. It was drastic for me (in the end I had to quit my job, sell our apartment, and move back in with family), but it doesn't have to be for everyone. Sometimes you just need a few months.
I can recommend a really good book on burnout and strategies to help that helped me understand how to manage burnout longer term:
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski. They were on the Brene Brown podcast once, if you want to listen to that and get an idea: [https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/](https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/)
Sorry for the long comment, I hope it makes sense and it might help a bit. Hang in there.
Shit sucks, hopefully don't need to do it much longer. There was a period of time after my wife had surgery I was working 100 hour weeks between 2 jobs. Worst like year of my life, barely remember it lol.
If you don't like gardening fair enough but if you are a healthy person with no kids it's extremely easy to maintain one if you want.
I don't get people who don't have kids who claim to never have any free time, like what are you doing? I have a social life, hobbies and a 5 day work week and yet still have so much free time because I don't have kids.
We get burned out all the time, but the trick is to work the bare minimum and never do more than you're supposed to do. Corporates punish you for working fast because they'll just give you more work if you're done early; therefore, you should never work fast, but you don't want to look like you're taking forever either, so nice and steady wins the race. Don't be the rabbit; be the turtle.
Never do more than the minimum when there’s no payoff. I find it helps to maintain goals to focus on, short, intermediate and long term. Establish long term goals and devise actionable steps to mark progress. This can be personal, social or professional. A sense of progress can do wonders for energy and motivation.
I actually did better in my career after I decided not to give as much fucks…allowed me to just focus on the “bare minimum” / highest priority work and stop obsessing over impressing everyone and being liked. Got promoted 6 months later….
That last part is especially true — I work in software and as bad as I want to sprint and finish things at times, I’ve learned to stop and take a breather, and strategically leave it for the next week. The works not going anywhere, it’ll be right there waiting for you on Monday.
Take care of yourself and make sure the time off you do get is maximized for your mental health and well-being. It may not be much, but you work with what you got.
It really is, especially now that I’ve gotten out of sales, I can just talk to internal employees and do my job. I can’t explain how much I appreciate my job!
I love this for you! We deserve to find ways to maximize our happiness at work! Work takes so much of our time, and I am adamant that it is well worth doing whatever it takes to get ourselves situated in a feel good environment doing work that is a great fit for our unique personalities! Very important-and I love to hear success stories about work!
Same. I swapped to a WFH job a year ago after lockdown opened it up as an option that just hadn't been therefore. It makes such a difference to my quality of life it is unbelievable, and I am so appreciative of my job because of it!
This is the only thing that has made work livable. Even on my busiest days I get the comfort of my own home compared to fluorescent lights and annoying coworkers. Greatly reduces my burn out but work still sucks.
Life has genuinely sucked since my company mandated everyone back 5 days a week. I should be prioritizing sleep more but with WFH it was just so easy to get 8 hours in
You keep with routines and schedules so you don't have much to do in the evenings and on the weekends. If you clean as you go, you clean less on your day off. If you do some laundry every couple of days, you don't spend all day off doing laundry.
Another thing is to eat well, drink plenty of water every day, take vitamins every day, and try to do some light exercise at least a couple times a week. This helps a lot with stamina. Having ways to relax your body in the evenings makes a big difference. Lots of adults smoke weed or concentrates, or eat edibles. Some drink a beer or two. Some go to the gym, some do yoga, some go for walks. Find something that works for you.
If your work is too many hours per week to have work/life balance, look for a better job and apply to whatever you can find that might be better pay and hours.
I need to start doing laundry more often. I hate how long it takes to fold all of it.
I also need to call a handyman asap to fix my washing machine. Just did a full load by hand today and it took forever.
This is why I turned to minimalism. I got rid of a lot of junk and stuff. In return, I’ve adopted the mindset of less is more. One of the benefits I’ve been experiencing is I can spend less time cleaning. Less junk means less dust. The place is still neat after weeks and weeks. Also that got me into the mindset of mindful buying. I buy less and only buy things that are meaningful and essential. Having less things means less burden for me and more freedom and happiness. That helps me with my work so I get less burnout knowing I don’t have to stress with cleaning and overspending money.
It's not sad. It's just hard. I have never felt happier in my entire life than when I look into my daughters eyes cuddling with her after reading her a bed time story. Nothing as a single guy without kids even comes fucking REMOTELY close. And trust me I used to be that single party animal with a dog that told everyone that I was never going to have kids and I'm perfectly happy with my dog and I understand true love and I rolled my eyes at people who told me you really don't understand love until you have a kid. Then I had a kid... it's true. Life gets so much more stressful and fulfilling at the same time it's a really wild ride.
Don't get me wrong, being a Dad is the best thing ever but I've got two young ones and it's pretty hard work. There is no free time to myself very much these days and sleep is always welcome.
If you've reached a certain point in your life when you've spent a good portion of it on yourself then children can be the greatest thing ever. Some do it before that point and there's possibly a degree of resentment that builds. When the right time is will be different for everyone.
I take a lot of 3 and 4 day weekends, like maybe one every month and a half to two months. They're unpaid so that sucks, but it keeps me from losing my mind and quitting.
Laughs/cries in working full time for 25 years and some of that doing like 80hr weeks .
High quality whole food , no sweeteners , no low fat bullshit , water , exercise , the odd bit of binge drinking , loads of biscuits and tea one sugar .
Can’t stress enough the exercise bit, do an hour a day or two at weekends of something you enjoy that leaves you absolutely exhausted and do it for years and it will change your life . You will have more energy , get ill less , be stronger , less irritable , sleep better etc etc. you sometimes have to force yourself to do it but it’s worth it. Get a bicycle
I have worked with loads of unhealthy people who I thought were 10 years older than me only to find out they were my age or younger. Macdonalds for breakfast , burgers at lunch , kebab for dinner and 5 pints a night wrecks people
I know the type. I once hired a lady who was 33. Another employee at the time (who was 32) remarked to me after we hired her that it was super cool that we would now have people in their 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's. NB, we all thought that she was about 45. She ate shit, was very fat, smoked heavily, drank all weekend and had all kinds of drama in her life but was a great employee for the first 6 of 8 years before her life started falling apart, starting missing a lot of work, productivity went down and quit after 2 written warnings. I guess her pride of not getting fired trumped wanting to challenge me for severance (if I had fired her, which I was getting ready to do)
Can we all just start a protest and reduce the work week from 40h a week to 25h a week? If you think of our grandparents they could easily afford a house, family, and car with only 1 person working full time. Now we can barely make it with 2 people working full time, this makes no sense!!!
I have done that with my employees. They have a 7.5 hour shift with a 45 minute paid break which means that they really only are on the clock for 6.75 hours and if if it is slow, I do not care if they are on social media or whatever. Work sucks even for me so I try to make it as bearable as possible for everyone.
Housing and mortgages sucked up all the disposable income. There's so many reasons for it and currently no good solutions. But more homeless people are a visible symptom, as well as this thread.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I work 4 days a week now. I work 2 days on 2 days off then 2 days on one day off. It is absolutely the best schedule and am enjoying life much better. Do I struggle for money? Yeah. But mentally I am in such a better place that I don’t care. I just cut way back on spending.
It's a myth that everyone has the same endurance and can get the same amount done.
You're not lazy or overreacting by being burnt out.
It does sound like you need start thinking about any way you can cut time or effort out of your week. Also, think about what's the most miserable part of your job and maybe you can find a job that doesn't have that
Or maybe a work from home option to not have the commute.
Do whatever you can to make life more convenient.
Order groceries online.
Use paper plates.
Eat fast food if you need to.
Put a load of laundry in before you head to work. So it's washing while you're working.
Find a job closer to home if possible.
Buy a Swiffer.
Cut everything down to the least energy spent to give some back to yourself.
Same at work. Don't try to be perfect. Just do what you're hired for.
Do what you can to get enough sleep cause missing sleep long term will burn you out on its own
If you can see a good counselor once a week they may have more ideas to help.
Excellent advice on ways to protect your energy. I wish I had gone to therapy much earlier in life. I’ll add that if your budget allows, saving up for a fuck-you fund (emergency fund) might be very freeing emotionally. If you have 3-6 months of expenses in the bank, you’ll know in the back of your head that if things really go to shit, you have the option to quit and live off of your savings while searching for a new job. If you’re fired or laid off (assuming you’re in the US), you can collect unemployment (and probably get a severance package in the latter), allowing you to stretch your savings even farther.
I truly don't get it either, by my Friday (which are on Wednesdays) I'm just over everything and everyone. I need a hot shower, a cold drink, and for everyone to stfu.
The more reward I get from my job, the less burn out I get. That's why I love owning a business. The more I work the more money I make. It would be difficult to feel motivated by a job without profit share.
I got burnt out. I worked 8 years at a "career" just to get screwed over.
Now I can't enjoy any job. I was homeless, and even that didn't motivate me to "work harder", it made me realize our system is shit and I understand why so many people kill themselves.
Conditioning, and having a routine. It becomes monotonous, but keeping a schedule, and staying consistent with that schedule really does help you find a flow when doing this bullshit every day.
I’m having a similar experience right now and I don’t know what you can do besides just do it. I try to plan things to look forward to and that helps a little. Try to have fun despite being tired. I try not to let this system steal my life all the way.
What worked for me is work hard in the first years gain experience and switch to a better paying job. Meanwhile don't increase your expenses to spend the extra salary you've gained. After some time you earn more with 4 days of work a week then you did with 5 days in the beginning. Switch to a 4 day work week and enjoy a normal life with way less stress. I can't imagine ever going back to a 5 day work week.
Who says we don't? But since we like things like a roof over our heads, food to eat, and healthcare, we just do it.
Imagine it being the 1900s and there aren't weekends.
I have to say I don’t really know what being burnt out feels like. Working since 16yrs old full time until now 35yrs old. I just wake up and get the job done since the first day of work, never stopped to think about being tired or any of that because the consequences are far worse - like being homeless on the streets.
Having a job you enjoy, and a bit of work flexibility helps:
If you like the people you work with, it can cover some social needs. And then even just allowing occasional telework so you can make it to necessary appts helps a lot too, or having a job with more liberal holiday or leave. Another thing that helps is a slower work tempo (low-pressure/stress) so you can handle some personal things quickly at work— phone calls, emails, etc.
And lastly, minimizing commute time.
Without at least one of the above, it’s truly crushing.
There are jobs where you work only a few days and get all your hours in.
I chose to get an education and a job that doesn’t require 8 hours a day but pays it.
There are ways out of the system but you gotta work your ass off one way or another to get there.
For real on this one. Get an education and a more corporate job where you have good benefits and it's all manageable. My wife has always worked at small businesses and gets very limited vacation/sick time, whereas I have 4+ weeks of vacation time and another week of sick time. Corporate jobs can suck in some ways, but benefits are so much better.
You get used to it. I remember feeling so burnt out when I was working my first full time job, I actually had a panic attack. It was so scary. But i pushed through and it did get easier. Now I'm old and it's starting to wear me out
You have to find a way to rest and recharge. Or you'll burn out. If your stuff is all digital, unplug for a couple hours for something regularly. Dealing with people? Private introvert hobbies. Social engagements after work gone nuts? Limit yourself to a reasonable number and pick and choose.
I used to work 8 days straight with one day off then another 3 to 4 days at work. but I learned to not over extend myself for a job like that again. at least you have a weekend each week to count on.
Number 1 is it’s just not hard. It’s not. This might not be you personally but a lot of people get dissatisfied with life so they stay up too late. The late evening hours are the only time they have completely to themselves so they don’t want that time to end. So they stay up late.
DONT DO THAT. Just go to bed on time. If you get full sleep you’ll lose out on hours but the hours you’re awake will be so much less miserable. Adult bed time fucking sucks. Nobody can argue forcing yourself to sleep instead of one more episode is fun. It’s not fun. It does suck. It’s 100% the right choice.
Beats me, I work 6 sometimes 6.5 days a week! 🤷🏻♂️
But seriously though, choose an occupation or field that you gives you great personal satisfaction, even if you may make less financially, it’ll be worth it because at the EOD you’ll enjoy your work and you can sustain this employment for a longer period of time and thus avoid burn out!
1. Prioritize exercise. Don't let that habit die even if it's 30 minutes a day.
2. Learn about r/fire and get out of the rat race sooner than later
3. In the meantime you'll never finish your honey do's, so take your time with them by still leaving yourself plenty of me/fun time. Get groceries and one other errand on Saturday, but the rest of the day should be whatever fuels your non work passions. Don't have a hobby? Try some!
4. Spend less time in screens. Screens are exhausting. Touch some grass. Better yet take a dip in a cold body if water.
5. Take more walks. This is outside of exercise. But a quick walk before, during, and/or after work can really boost your mood. Leave the earbuds at home if possible. Trust.
6. Use all of your PTO. I will never understand folks who lose out on paid time off. Have nothing planned? Who cares. Take the week off and catch up on life before that time is gone for good.
Good luck!
Try to find a job that mildly interests you it will do wonders. When I was a cashier and had to hear the same jokes from customers every day I was ready to jump off a bridge
I honestly think it matters what you’re doing for work. When I was doing aerial telecommunications I LOVED working. We did long hour days, hit OT at lunch on Wednesdays, life was good. I’d do anything to get back in that field.
the most important thing is not to have commute. its the commute that's killing you. You feel so utterly useless for 1 hour-2 hours everyday in the car/bus/metro by the time you get to the job or back at home everything is devoid of happiness.
My job is 10min from home without traffic, but I still feel the drain of my life when I go back home because the traffic make it 30mins.
Find a job that you enjoy. Stop being a clown. If you’re in any sort of developed country count yourself lucky. Know that the majority of humanity has had it worse than you. Get used to the fact you have to work because nothing is given to us in this life.
It’s something you need to learn how to do and it’s something never really taught to us.
If you take care of yourself in other aspects of your life, you start to find that it becomes more bearable. Sleeping and eating well, taking care of your mental health, working out when you can. All of that helps.
FWIW op, when I started my first big job after college, I felt like it was impossible. I remember my first week, I went straight into my bed face first and couldn’t move. Kept thinking there was no way I’d be able to do it.
It takes time.
Have fun things planned for the weekend and try to make friends at work that will support you when you feel stressed. Plan one vacation a year in the Spring. Eventually you will find a job you enjoy working at, and it won’t be as bad
You’ll eventually will get use to it… the more practice you have the easier it will get. Now imagine, doing all of that and taking care of kids. And kids get sick, wet the bed in the middle of the night, puke on you when least expect it … then during the weekends, you have to take them kids to birthday parties and classes and still be going to work and taking care of the house … you got this
Welcome to adult life. You have it EASY now. Wait until you have a mortgage, partner, babies. You won't sleep. You will need to earn more and more to support the family. Then the kids want EVERYTHING.
All the while you boss knows how desperate you are to earn so they pile on the work. House constantly needs cleaned and repaired. Your cars will need expensive repairs.
This is the path for 90% of people. Then some people plan plan plan ahead. Finance, Budgets, Investing, Diet, Health, Time Management, Skill based income, Particular partner selection. I took the second path. Currently 38. 1 young child. Married to a brilliant wife. 300K of cash generating investments, enough to clear my mortgage and have plenty left over. Employer knows I don't need the money so don't annoy me.
Path is yours to choose.
That’s what I was thinking as I read this lol. Just need a decent little house, a cat/dog and maybe a partner if that ever happens. Kids have their rewarding moments, but imo they’re not worth the crazy amount of effort required and I’d be a shit parent thanks to my emotional problems from my screwed up childhood
Have a way to relieve stress (in the healthiest manner possible).
What I used to do is always telling my coworkers about how much of an asshole some customers were and since they were way more experienced than me, they understood and had always something useful to say.
If you can't vent your frustrations somehow, you won't make it past the week
Yes I felt this hard in my first 2 years of full time work…it did get better for me - after a while I had enough energy to go to the gym and that really helped. Hang in there there!
I'm active outside of work. I work out sometimes twice a day, I go to concerts, I get tattooed, I go out with family and friends...I focus on my outside of work life. When I'm at work I listen to my favorite movies, shows and podcasts...I take my breaks to walk away, meditate and read. I get burnt out by Thursday usually..but it's not too bad as I'm so active outside of work. My job is mentally exhausting. But I love it. It also helped me buy a house on my own. I learned you gotta keep yourself happy and healthy..work is just that work. You clock in..you clock out..and you leave it there.
I decided a long time ago that lifting heavy things is very boring to me.
I love moving my body. So I do calisthenics, Muay Thai, and tennis now. Much, much happier.
Well I like having food and a place to live for me, my wife and dogs... so kinda just go through the motions and on my weekends, dissociate and piss and moan that life sucks ass lol plus, probably will never be able to retire. Anytime we start putting money aside into our savings, some bullshit comes up that we were not expecting ( covid in 2020, skin cancer removal 2 years ago, and someone crashing into my wifes car that we had literally just paid off the month before)
As most have mentioned, prioritizing your health: getting to bed early, eating right, drinking water, exercising, managing stress, limiting Internet usage which can assist with getting time back. Scheduling is important and eliminating things that don't serve you in life.
One of the big reasons I switched to a shift work job
Sure the days are a little longer but then getting 4 or so days off at a time after is totally worth it, mini holiday each time
The system isn't meant for us, the people, to be comfortable, that's for the billionaires who reap all the benefits of the back breaking work have to do to just barely scrape by.
I feel like school prepared us for it. school sucked but I had to go. now it's work/career. just need to save enough now so I don't have to work as hard/long later
I am burnt out but id rather be burnt out at work than burnt out on the street.
Burn out but with monthly income
Yeah this exactly. For any somewhat responsible adult, the weight of running out of money and not having a job for a few months is wildly stressful. Was in that position a couple years ago at 27 and struggled to find another job for a a bit. No fun choosing between rent and bills or not eating.
Same brother. Couldn't work because of jaw and neck issues. Going through treatment the last 2 years has been expensive asf and with not being able to work it crippled me financially. Slowly getting better and am back at work now. I have no issue whatsoever doing overtime rn in fact I have been disappointed and worried anytime I DON'T feel exhausted at the end of the week. Poverty is a great motivator. Working sucks at times but it is not in the same league as worrying about money every second of the day. I'm not going back to that place.
Poverty is indeed a great motivator
jfc we need to fix america
Is this really an America problem?
Ya, it really is. Healthcare is tied to your job. Lose your job, lose access to healthcare. I'd love to pursue my passion, I could even afford the pay hit. Just adding me to my spouse's insurance is a net budget change of like $1200/m - so if I went part time, started my own business - any of that - just healthcare is an extra $1200/m off the top from me not having my own full time job with better priced health plan. I'm not even sick right now, but if I have a bad flare up or appendicitis, I'd rather not be out $20-150k. Adding me to her health plan is more than my mortgage payment when I bought my house. That's not an issue in a civilized country.
For a country that brags about being so rich so many of its people shouldn't be so poor. It's really fucked. I won't be surprised if the USA is downgraded from first world country at some point.
Damn man sorry to hear that wishing you the best, can relate to a degree couple years ago I kept getting kicked while I was down with one unfortunate event after another and developed some mental issues and big financial issues from it and my credit tanked hard, picked up a second job and still ended up homeless for about 6 months. Much better now but I’ll never forget 2022-23, it was traumatic leading me to be obsessed with how to make more and more money to never end up back there and only rely on myself. poverty really is the biggest motivator. After that work doesn’t suck so much anymore given the alternative is a living hell.
Prior to 2020 I worked 350-450 hours of overtime a year. 2400 hours a year, that is like working 6 dayz a week. Two weeks off around Christmas 🎄 It depends on how much you like your work. Certainly you have to be dedicated, but I did burn out after 10 years. Really the pandemic 😷gave me and the company I was working for a new perspective.
This right here. You have two choices: poverty or well-being. The trick to not getting “burnt out” is planting yourself in a job that you can actually appreciate going to. I’m a huge believer and active participant in the philosophy that if you aren’t happy at your job, you’re not going to be happy.
Why do you think there are so many 40-60 year olds committing suicide? Burnout, stress, bills, mortgages, personal issues, mental health... but no, please work 60 hours a week until you drop dead.
Yeah we’ve created the dumbest way to live life.
The truest statement ever. The fear of homelessness keeps me going. Try and make sure you schedule your self some vacation days. Force yourself to go out and enjoy the little things when you’re not working. And most importantly, unplug when you’re not at work.
Oh ya. I had/have multiple mini vacations scheduled this year. I only get 15 pto days so its hard cause that is not enough cause it includes sick and emergency time off as well but ill plan like a 5 day weekend and travel for concerts. Holidays too. Just did a 6 hour road trip to see my buddy over the 4th. Go to concerts and go out to bars quite a bit on my time. That can sometimes lead to worse burnout too tho. Rest is needed as well. Which im currently doing. 2 days off a week is not enough. But we gotta do it apparently
Yeah, it’s not like we have a choice. For most people if they don’t work 5 days per week they’ll be homeless. I’m getting burnt out at work, but I’m going to continue going in every day because it beats the alternative in the long run.
I’ve been burnt out for so long I don’t remember what normal feels like anymore…. But yeah, I don’t have a choice. If I don’t go then I don’t have money. And that’s so much worse than being burnt out from work, so I get up and go. Hobbies help though. At least when I get off, I get to do something I enjoy. Only downside is that hobbies cost more money.
Yep. The streets are cold.
Best response ever. Pretty much what choice do you have?
TLDR, we don't, we just like shelter
I recall 2012 to 2013 going from $7.25 to $8.25. Working only 28 hrs in a week for biweekly pay. Had to choose between food or getting my car fixed. And plus I was renting a room for $400 a month. Using coupons. And making a hard ass decision at 21/22 yrs old. Starve to fix my car and die? Or eat and pray my car last?
What kind of work don you do
This is why you work hard to get an office job. They have the best chairs for being burnt out in. Being burnt out in a walk-in freezer is heckin rough Edit, typo. Yhey->they
The big secret for me has been unlocking more energy through prioritizing my health. Eating well, sleeping well, and doing a small bit of daily exercise has got me feeling way more energized and motivated. There’s no way to unlock more time, but there are tons of ways to unlock more energy and motivation
I wish I did this sooner, it took until my 30s to really understand this but it's so true. Eating decent, drinking water, getting rid of a lot of the garbage, taking better care of yourself, being kinder to yourself mentally, being outside more, listening to music that's more positive, avoiding news and politics, all the shit tailor made to get people upset. Create the best little reality in your own little bubble and things can be much more tolerable. I used to be an irritable grumpy burnt out piece of shit, I hated myself. I'm glad I looked at things more holistically. I go on bike rides around my neighborhood evenings after work and watch the beautiful sunset/clouds and listen to the birds. I have the whole streets to myself and can zigzag around like a little kid. It's like the whole city is my playground. Don't lose your imagination and parts of your childhood. Life shouldn't be taken too seriously.
I want to do this. I work 7 days a week between 2 jobs, 40 hours at one, and 30 at the other. I'm trying my best but my energy is just fucking gone. I've also got the bonus of being irrationally anxious and forgetful due to some mild brain damage, and it can be a real bitch to work through sometimes. I do it and try my best not to burden anyone with my problems, but internally I feel like im ready to blow. Maybe if I do what you're doing, I could possibly knock the edge off at least.
Holy fuck! 70 hours 7 days a week? Why are you doing that to yourself?
No choice at the moment. Very long story short, my wife lost her job, and couldn't find one in the same pay bracket. With the cost of daycare and us having 4 kids, it makes more sense money wise for her to now stay home and I work. At least until I can find a more high paying job.
You are going to burn out hard, do you have quality time to spend with your children, wife and yourself? It might be worthwhile for your wife to go back into work even if the entire wage goes into daycare, so you don't have to work your life away and can actually see your family without being exhausted. This will greatly affect your relationships with your wife and children over time if it continues.
Well, my logic is this: why have my wife work 40 hours just to bring home basically nothing when that time could be spent with the kids making memories. The kids have had daycare for years out of necessity, but I've always hated the fact that both of us missed out on spending time with the kids. At least now, my wife is getting to try out the stay at home mom thing for the first time, and it's been a huge improvement in quality of life with her and the kids. That alone makes it worth it. Obviously I don't plan on working 2 jobs forever. But until I find the final solution, this will have to do. I'm pulling strings with friends in other companies that I've made friends with over the years. Hopefully something will come of it soon. If not, it's still nice coming home and seeing my family enjoying each other thoroughly. It's something we've never really had before, and it's something that I want to keep.
Your time and quality of life matters as well, don't let yourself suffer for too long if a solution is taking a while. Your kids will want their dad to be healthy and lively. While they're making memories with their mother, their memories of their father is going to be of an exhausted one they don't get to see much of, and those kinds of memories are the ones that will stick with them into adulthood(may sound harsh, but this is the reality). Best of luck, you're a good selfless man, I know you'd like to keep things as they are for your wifes sake but do think of yourself too!
I am. My dad was always working when I was a kid. He did as much as he could for us, and my parents hid how much they were struggling very well. I didn't get to do a whole lot with my dad growing up, and I'm trying to avoid that with my kids. My dad always spent what little time he had with me and my siblings, and I'm grateful for that. But he never had a ton of free time. He was always working. I'm definitely trying to hit that sweet spot between providing and getting to play outside with my babies. Besides, my oldest is only 2 years from graduation, and I want to enjoy these last couple of years with her before she goes into adulthood and leaves us behind.
I follow you but I think you are trapping yourself. Working for long hours like that makes it very hard to seek better opportunities. The best time to find a new job is on your days off.
My wife stays home with our 5 kids man, it's better for the kids. I work crazy hours to make it all work but it's worth it. My wife is happier too
I'm glad someone else can relate. Home life has gotten considerably better for my wife and kids since all this went down. It's definitely been a huge step up in that regard.
Just remember to chip in on house chores when you can. I work a ton of hours but after work I try to do dishes if they haven't been done, vacuum, mop whatever little bit that needs done when I get home I try to jump in so she has a head start the following day. Not trying to tell you, your business though. Just don't take her staying home for granted so she still feels appreciated is all. Personally I feel most( not all) moms would be happier staying home with the kids. It's hard to financially pull off these days but if you can do it, do it
Oh don't worry, I'm still the one who does laundry and dishes. I hate the way she does laundry, and she always loads the dishwasher wrong. Lol. It's been a running joke between us for 16 years now, and I'm still not letting her have control of those 2 areas. Also, I still do all the yard work. Besides, it's actually easier to do laundry when I come home and everyone is asleep, and I can do it uninterrupted.
Yea, I'm basically in the same boat Work 60+ hours, 6 days a week at 2 jobs in the kitchen. I notice I average about 15km when I'm double shifting, but that's only twice a week. Otherwise I'm averaging 10,000 steps. I've been trying to go back to the gym, but I'm so tapped for energy. I've been having trouble remembering things too; whenever I'm asked about "yesterday" it's usually a blur to me.
What about walks on your breaks? Maybe that’s all you have available and walks are great for you!! I need to take breaks to do walks too.
This. Every sentence in your comment is spot on and how I try to live my life. This afternoon I spent buying plants at Lowe’s and I worked in my garden until the fireworks started going off. I love photographing my flowers and bees and then pausing to watch the bats come out around dusk. Nature is a constant source of healing.. whether you’re someplace conventionally beautiful like vacation, or in your own backyard. I’ve dealt with devastating injuries in my 20s that redirected my hobbies so I’ve spent my adult life finding joy in trying lots of new things and learning how important it is to welcome the constantly shifting phases of our life. (I could be sad about losing interest in XY hobby, but the time it opens up allows me to focus on being creative or spending time with a loved one. That’s the positive side of things.) TLDR: Be curious and don’t forget to appreciate the small moments in life like smelling a flower, or trying something new. Learn to love the mystery and rush involved with change .. it’s hard at times, but so many good things are.
A whole new world opens up when you learn how to appreciate the small things. It gives you little micro events throughout the day the enjoy and look forward to. I used to hate the term self care, but it's because I didn't understand it. Self care is a lifestyle and mindset, not any singular event or thing.
Thank you for this
Love when I find the fellow reasonable person on reddit. This is all great advice. The biggest advice no one wants to hear on here is that if you quit drugs and alcohol, spend time outside and spend time on your mental health 40 hours a week is actually a decent bargain for not being in the woods with the rest of the wild animals killing each other to survive. This is the society we were born in to so either rebel for change or make the most of it.
I pictured your sunsets and smiled 🙂
thank you!
Thanks for this! I'm going to get back to scrolling Reddit now
Hell yeah
This is awesome!!
Beautifully written. 👍🏻
Man, so much of this speaks to things I've tried to fix in myself the last few years as well. Thanks for sharing this.
How to be kinder to yourself? I feel terrible
I used to view myself as nothing but a failure, a fuck up, I viewed myself as nothing but the culmination of all my shortcomings. I was judgemental, harsh towards myself and others. Anger, judgment, resentment are all really toxic emotions that had a strong effect on me. I started being more accepting of others, more appreciative of what I have, more open to new ideas and taking on new challenges. I stopped viewing my fuck ups as failures, and started viewing them as learning opportunities. I stopped regretting every poor decision I made, and started appreciating the lessons I've learned from them and the growth I've made so far in my life. I try to see the good in others, not just our differences. I like getting to know people and discovering similarities, it makes people seem more familiar, even strangers and acquaintances. I've tried to, and continue to put effort into understanding that I'm not the center of the world.
This is wonderful, thank you
Say to yourself that you forgive yourself. You forgive a friend and don't think twice if they fuck up but our standards for our selves are too high. Say outloud happyeveryallday I forgive you
Seconded. Enough sleep (7-9 hours) is critical for everyone, for both short- and long-term health. Along with proper diet and some exercise work is no longer as tiring. When I was going to the climbing gym regularly, I ended up with too much energy after work and would get antsy if I didn't go climb at the end of the day.
Any forearm tendonitis?
From climbing? No. Some other injuries though, mostly fingers and the occasional ankle. Once I pulled my back. But generally speaking I think it really helped my overall health. When I was going 3-5 times a week I was much more flexible, strong, and pain-free, and had more energy overall as well as better cardio even though I didn't really do any cardio workouts.
Yes, eat well and exercise. Automate as many tasks as you can. I have a roomba vacuum and the mop bot too, I pick up groceries via curbside so I don’t have to grocery shop amongst the old boomers blocking isles with their idle chit chat. Meal plan weekly so you don’t have to take extra trips to the store.
Walmart online shopping and pickup can save everyone soooo much time, be more intentional with what u get and its free service.
I wish I could trust them with fruits and vegetables 😩 where I live fresh produce is so hard to get in person, much less trusting someone to do a quality check.
You can use them for everything else. Then you only got one section of the store, ave it's quick and easy
And drink electrolytes!
Finding the line where time meets money, with attention paid to mental health, is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. I like your roomba example. It may cost you 30 hours of work to buy one, but if it gives you more personal time on the back end, it’s well worth it. I know if you’re living day to day it’s easier said than done, but I think it’s important to value your time correctly and make decisions based on that value.
Ya, I find going to bed early and getting up at my regular time (but then relaxing with a coffee instead of rushing off) helps so much. Get all the “must-do’s” done after coffee and relax or go out in the evening. Rinse and repeat and then it’s Monday.
This. Join the Y and make it a habit. Focus on whole foods. Go for a walk at lunch. Get some sunshine. Make sure you’re sleeping enough and that it’s quality sleep. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
Ever since I started a more physical job, I've been doing just that. Making sure I get a good night's sleep, starting with a good breakfast, making a hearty lunch and good rest when I get home
Sorry but this is the answer. The healthier you are mentally and physically, the easier things seem to be.
This is it. I have 3 kids (8, 6 and 10mo), a fairly demanding job (only standard hours but lots of technical analysis and planning, development, etc), a house that needs maintenance and the result of that adulting stuff. I learned years ago before kids that spending a bit of energy on yourself actually gives you more when you need it (most of the time). These days I don't have a lot of time, but I ride my bike to work, walk the kids to school a couple days a week, have a couple martial arts lessons (one with the kids) and swim with them on the weekend (I swim laps while they do lessons then we have a play together). Add to that a bit of discipline around sleep and you have a winning formula.
Agree completely even though I struggle to do it. One thing to watch out for is caffeine. I have a bad habit of drinking too much coffee in the morning, crashing, then having another cup in the afternoon to keep me going. I don't eat much if at all and I then don't sleep well either.
We dont. But after being an unemployed adult for an extended period of time i will take being burnt out from a job vs being burnt out from stressing about how Im gonna pay bills
Yeah grateful to have a job and get to pay my bills. took me over 6 months to land one and id rather have one then not after stressing and going through that. That’s my motivation to keep this job and go in everyday.
That's the neat part. We don't
Going to work is like trying to pee your pants on purpose. Every ounce of your being tells you not to but you have to just power through.
first time i've read something on reddit that has made me actually laugh in awhile, my dog things im crazyz now
This is now my go-to euphemism for going to work. "Bye, honey, going to piss my pants!"
I guess the definition of burning out would be the cessation of your ability to do your job.
Oh that's THE EVEN NEATER PART you don't get to fully burn out. You get to sit comfortably RIGHT at the edge of full on mental breakdown or self-termination, but never actually cross that line, OR get any better. There's adulthood for ya
Nah mate, you can burnout. I switched jobs in current market, both brain & body gave after getting a good comp offer and it was a struggle for 2 months or so - to even think / thought of using a laptop disgusted me. If you don't feel the burnout, you are just tired but actual burnout hits different man.
I had a PTSD burnout a year ago that I still haven’t recovered from. It cost me my job and my self-esteem. I was on track to become a highly accomplished person before, like the type of person who graduated at the top of the class, early, honors, blah blah. I can barely keep myself alive at this point. Idk if my marriage will even survive this burnout. I remember thinking before that I was exhausted, but I still had it in me to power through. Now I barely have the energy and motivation to even put away the clean, folded laundry.
Same here! Burned out so badly, both my brain and body gave out. I thought I could keep forcing myself to work hard in a stressful career forever, turned out I was mistaken. Now I can barely use my hands, my brain is always foggy it feels dead, my memory is terrible, and I find it very challenging to stay alive. I wonder how will I find a job again or get back into the miserable career that led me to this point with the current job market.
Yep, had this same thing. Couldn’t go to work anymore… housing optional at that point. Burnout is different
You can absolutely burn out. You just have self imposed obligations like a certain lifestyle, starting a family, etc, which stop you. I'd argueit's not really burnout until you start thinking of those things as optional.
I agree. Genuine burn out and you can’t keep going no matter how hard you try and push through. Sickness comes, it’s not just the mental pressure it’s the physical toll too.
Yeah, actually being burnt out was not an option, I stopped it for as long as I could but when it happens, you can't keep going. You don't even want to anymore, you just don't want to exist. Almost destroyed my entire life and I couldn't do anything about it except continue to fall apart. I let everything go, and couldn't work for over a year. My health was so bad loads of my hair fell out and I thought I was dying. 1 year later and I'm still unable to do mentally taxing tasks without getting a massive headache and having to lie down in a dark room for a while.
I literally cried reading this comment because I thought that nobody could ever understand what I’m currently going through. My self esteem has NEVER been lower. I have all the awards and accolades, I was on track to be successful, I had good relationships with everyone in my life, I enjoyed being alive. I felt like Sisyphus in the sense that I enjoyed the struggle of maintaining my life. Now I can barely even shower or do laundry. My marriage is in shambles. I’m the heaviest and most sedentary I’ve ever been. I don’t even recognize the monster I’ve become and I’m not suicidal but I wish I didn’t exist. Everything is falling apart and people keep pressuring me to get it together but I can’t. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t. So, how did you get through it? How did you manage financially? Also, any tips on how to get life back on track?
Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear you're going through this. People talk about burnout a lot but I don't think they always understand how serious it is, and how scared and sick you can get from it. It literally changes your brain and can give you long-term health problems. I just want you to know you're not alone in dealing with this, there's lots of us out here. My journey with burnout led me to learn a hell of a lot about it, which helped me cope a lot. First thing I want to say is that burnout turns us into the absolute worst versions of ourselves, and you can feel so much shame because of this. You can become emotionally volatile and break every promise you meant to keep, and you don't know how to stop it. That is the worst thing about burnout, I think. The shame and the complete loss of who you were as a person, and who you want to be. Second thing I want to say is that burnout is an illness that needs to be taken seriously as an illness. It's not something you can just wish away, or work your way out of. You need time to rest and recover, and you need people who are supportive of this. Not all of us get that, unfortunately. But whatever you can do to make this happen, you have to do it. When I was at my worst, I had to take a break from work for a few months and I lived on my savings. I went to the doctors and a psychicatrist who helped me deal with the acute problems. I was told I should drop everything I can, do nothing, and just go for 1 walk every day. I was given medication to help me sleep at night. I was told I need to take about 15 mins every day to sit in a quiet room and do nothing but sit down. Or lie down in a dark quiet room anytime I was getting worked up. I needed to tell my partner and family to stop asking things of me, and to support me by accepting I'd be useless for a while. I couldn't believe I had to do all this, it seemed extreme. But it helped so much and I finally started to feel like myself again. Once you're out of the acute stage, you can start to explore what made you burnt out in the first place and start to work on this. I think what helped the most was learning what the hell I was dealing with because then I could sit my partner down and tell them what was happening with me and what I needed from her. It was drastic for me (in the end I had to quit my job, sell our apartment, and move back in with family), but it doesn't have to be for everyone. Sometimes you just need a few months. I can recommend a really good book on burnout and strategies to help that helped me understand how to manage burnout longer term: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski. They were on the Brene Brown podcast once, if you want to listen to that and get an idea: [https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/](https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/) Sorry for the long comment, I hope it makes sense and it might help a bit. Hang in there.
YUS! you beat me to it and take the upvote. You made my day!
*laughs in working 6 days a week sometimes 7* We laugh so we don't cry!
Oooh yeah I remember when I used to work 7 days a week, hard times.
Going on 10 months of this
Shit sucks, hopefully don't need to do it much longer. There was a period of time after my wife had surgery I was working 100 hour weeks between 2 jobs. Worst like year of my life, barely remember it lol.
The fear of poverty is a treadmill
No kids small home, it's doable. Kids, health problems, property and garden? No.
It was all so easy before the toddler nation attacked...
And they use biochemical weapons!! Didn’t know what ‘getting sick’ was before daycare!!
If you don't like gardening fair enough but if you are a healthy person with no kids it's extremely easy to maintain one if you want. I don't get people who don't have kids who claim to never have any free time, like what are you doing? I have a social life, hobbies and a 5 day work week and yet still have so much free time because I don't have kids.
I feel this in what's left of my soul.
We get burned out all the time, but the trick is to work the bare minimum and never do more than you're supposed to do. Corporates punish you for working fast because they'll just give you more work if you're done early; therefore, you should never work fast, but you don't want to look like you're taking forever either, so nice and steady wins the race. Don't be the rabbit; be the turtle.
Very good advice. Should have put that in my post about getting a cushy job. Get a cushy job AND half ass it.
Easier said than done for most of us
Never do more than the minimum when there’s no payoff. I find it helps to maintain goals to focus on, short, intermediate and long term. Establish long term goals and devise actionable steps to mark progress. This can be personal, social or professional. A sense of progress can do wonders for energy and motivation.
I actually did better in my career after I decided not to give as much fucks…allowed me to just focus on the “bare minimum” / highest priority work and stop obsessing over impressing everyone and being liked. Got promoted 6 months later….
That last part is especially true — I work in software and as bad as I want to sprint and finish things at times, I’ve learned to stop and take a breather, and strategically leave it for the next week. The works not going anywhere, it’ll be right there waiting for you on Monday. Take care of yourself and make sure the time off you do get is maximized for your mental health and well-being. It may not be much, but you work with what you got.
Thanks for the rabbit/turtle comment. I can be a turtle. I will be a turtle.
I work from home thankfully
It’s so helpful!
It really is, especially now that I’ve gotten out of sales, I can just talk to internal employees and do my job. I can’t explain how much I appreciate my job!
I love this for you! We deserve to find ways to maximize our happiness at work! Work takes so much of our time, and I am adamant that it is well worth doing whatever it takes to get ourselves situated in a feel good environment doing work that is a great fit for our unique personalities! Very important-and I love to hear success stories about work!
Same. I swapped to a WFH job a year ago after lockdown opened it up as an option that just hadn't been therefore. It makes such a difference to my quality of life it is unbelievable, and I am so appreciative of my job because of it!
This is the only thing that has made work livable. Even on my busiest days I get the comfort of my own home compared to fluorescent lights and annoying coworkers. Greatly reduces my burn out but work still sucks.
Life has genuinely sucked since my company mandated everyone back 5 days a week. I should be prioritizing sleep more but with WFH it was just so easy to get 8 hours in
My home office (as in office building, not my office at home) is 1800 miles away. I've been there once since moved away in 2012. 😎
You keep with routines and schedules so you don't have much to do in the evenings and on the weekends. If you clean as you go, you clean less on your day off. If you do some laundry every couple of days, you don't spend all day off doing laundry. Another thing is to eat well, drink plenty of water every day, take vitamins every day, and try to do some light exercise at least a couple times a week. This helps a lot with stamina. Having ways to relax your body in the evenings makes a big difference. Lots of adults smoke weed or concentrates, or eat edibles. Some drink a beer or two. Some go to the gym, some do yoga, some go for walks. Find something that works for you. If your work is too many hours per week to have work/life balance, look for a better job and apply to whatever you can find that might be better pay and hours.
I need to start doing laundry more often. I hate how long it takes to fold all of it. I also need to call a handyman asap to fix my washing machine. Just did a full load by hand today and it took forever.
This is why I turned to minimalism. I got rid of a lot of junk and stuff. In return, I’ve adopted the mindset of less is more. One of the benefits I’ve been experiencing is I can spend less time cleaning. Less junk means less dust. The place is still neat after weeks and weeks. Also that got me into the mindset of mindful buying. I buy less and only buy things that are meaningful and essential. Having less things means less burden for me and more freedom and happiness. That helps me with my work so I get less burnout knowing I don’t have to stress with cleaning and overspending money.
It gets more exciting if you have children. Then sometimes you see work as the break...
What a sad reality
It's not sad. It's just hard. I have never felt happier in my entire life than when I look into my daughters eyes cuddling with her after reading her a bed time story. Nothing as a single guy without kids even comes fucking REMOTELY close. And trust me I used to be that single party animal with a dog that told everyone that I was never going to have kids and I'm perfectly happy with my dog and I understand true love and I rolled my eyes at people who told me you really don't understand love until you have a kid. Then I had a kid... it's true. Life gets so much more stressful and fulfilling at the same time it's a really wild ride.
Don't get me wrong, being a Dad is the best thing ever but I've got two young ones and it's pretty hard work. There is no free time to myself very much these days and sleep is always welcome. If you've reached a certain point in your life when you've spent a good portion of it on yourself then children can be the greatest thing ever. Some do it before that point and there's possibly a degree of resentment that builds. When the right time is will be different for everyone.
We work burnt out.
I take a lot of 3 and 4 day weekends, like maybe one every month and a half to two months. They're unpaid so that sucks, but it keeps me from losing my mind and quitting.
Just took 3 random days off just so I wouldn’t lose my mind. I booked an air bnb and I’m going next week 😂
I am a few missed paychecks away from being homeless. Everyone is burnt out; we just have no other choice
Laughs/cries in working full time for 25 years and some of that doing like 80hr weeks . High quality whole food , no sweeteners , no low fat bullshit , water , exercise , the odd bit of binge drinking , loads of biscuits and tea one sugar . Can’t stress enough the exercise bit, do an hour a day or two at weekends of something you enjoy that leaves you absolutely exhausted and do it for years and it will change your life . You will have more energy , get ill less , be stronger , less irritable , sleep better etc etc. you sometimes have to force yourself to do it but it’s worth it. Get a bicycle I have worked with loads of unhealthy people who I thought were 10 years older than me only to find out they were my age or younger. Macdonalds for breakfast , burgers at lunch , kebab for dinner and 5 pints a night wrecks people
I know the type. I once hired a lady who was 33. Another employee at the time (who was 32) remarked to me after we hired her that it was super cool that we would now have people in their 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's. NB, we all thought that she was about 45. She ate shit, was very fat, smoked heavily, drank all weekend and had all kinds of drama in her life but was a great employee for the first 6 of 8 years before her life started falling apart, starting missing a lot of work, productivity went down and quit after 2 written warnings. I guess her pride of not getting fired trumped wanting to challenge me for severance (if I had fired her, which I was getting ready to do)
Can we all just start a protest and reduce the work week from 40h a week to 25h a week? If you think of our grandparents they could easily afford a house, family, and car with only 1 person working full time. Now we can barely make it with 2 people working full time, this makes no sense!!!
Agree I think 6 hour work days would be more than enough to keep the economy afloat and people happier
I have done that with my employees. They have a 7.5 hour shift with a 45 minute paid break which means that they really only are on the clock for 6.75 hours and if if it is slow, I do not care if they are on social media or whatever. Work sucks even for me so I try to make it as bearable as possible for everyone.
Are you hiring?
We are fully staffed at the moment but thanks for asking.
This is awesome!!
Housing and mortgages sucked up all the disposable income. There's so many reasons for it and currently no good solutions. But more homeless people are a visible symptom, as well as this thread.
Trying to adult is like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle.
It really is, I don’t know what people are talking about when they say it’s better than childhood, it’s so much more complicated and way less fun.
Maybe they had a poor childhood? Then adulthood gives a bit more control.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I work 4 days a week now. I work 2 days on 2 days off then 2 days on one day off. It is absolutely the best schedule and am enjoying life much better. Do I struggle for money? Yeah. But mentally I am in such a better place that I don’t care. I just cut way back on spending.
Do you think we have a choice?
It's a myth that everyone has the same endurance and can get the same amount done. You're not lazy or overreacting by being burnt out. It does sound like you need start thinking about any way you can cut time or effort out of your week. Also, think about what's the most miserable part of your job and maybe you can find a job that doesn't have that Or maybe a work from home option to not have the commute. Do whatever you can to make life more convenient. Order groceries online. Use paper plates. Eat fast food if you need to. Put a load of laundry in before you head to work. So it's washing while you're working. Find a job closer to home if possible. Buy a Swiffer. Cut everything down to the least energy spent to give some back to yourself. Same at work. Don't try to be perfect. Just do what you're hired for. Do what you can to get enough sleep cause missing sleep long term will burn you out on its own If you can see a good counselor once a week they may have more ideas to help.
Excellent advice on ways to protect your energy. I wish I had gone to therapy much earlier in life. I’ll add that if your budget allows, saving up for a fuck-you fund (emergency fund) might be very freeing emotionally. If you have 3-6 months of expenses in the bank, you’ll know in the back of your head that if things really go to shit, you have the option to quit and live off of your savings while searching for a new job. If you’re fired or laid off (assuming you’re in the US), you can collect unemployment (and probably get a severance package in the latter), allowing you to stretch your savings even farther.
I truly don't get it either, by my Friday (which are on Wednesdays) I'm just over everything and everyone. I need a hot shower, a cold drink, and for everyone to stfu.
The more reward I get from my job, the less burn out I get. That's why I love owning a business. The more I work the more money I make. It would be difficult to feel motivated by a job without profit share.
I got burnt out. I worked 8 years at a "career" just to get screwed over. Now I can't enjoy any job. I was homeless, and even that didn't motivate me to "work harder", it made me realize our system is shit and I understand why so many people kill themselves.
Conditioning, and having a routine. It becomes monotonous, but keeping a schedule, and staying consistent with that schedule really does help you find a flow when doing this bullshit every day.
I’m having a similar experience right now and I don’t know what you can do besides just do it. I try to plan things to look forward to and that helps a little. Try to have fun despite being tired. I try not to let this system steal my life all the way.
What worked for me is work hard in the first years gain experience and switch to a better paying job. Meanwhile don't increase your expenses to spend the extra salary you've gained. After some time you earn more with 4 days of work a week then you did with 5 days in the beginning. Switch to a 4 day work week and enjoy a normal life with way less stress. I can't imagine ever going back to a 5 day work week.
Don't have a choice
Who says we don't? But since we like things like a roof over our heads, food to eat, and healthcare, we just do it. Imagine it being the 1900s and there aren't weekends.
I have to say I don’t really know what being burnt out feels like. Working since 16yrs old full time until now 35yrs old. I just wake up and get the job done since the first day of work, never stopped to think about being tired or any of that because the consequences are far worse - like being homeless on the streets.
Having a job you enjoy, and a bit of work flexibility helps: If you like the people you work with, it can cover some social needs. And then even just allowing occasional telework so you can make it to necessary appts helps a lot too, or having a job with more liberal holiday or leave. Another thing that helps is a slower work tempo (low-pressure/stress) so you can handle some personal things quickly at work— phone calls, emails, etc. And lastly, minimizing commute time. Without at least one of the above, it’s truly crushing.
There are jobs where you work only a few days and get all your hours in. I chose to get an education and a job that doesn’t require 8 hours a day but pays it. There are ways out of the system but you gotta work your ass off one way or another to get there.
For real on this one. Get an education and a more corporate job where you have good benefits and it's all manageable. My wife has always worked at small businesses and gets very limited vacation/sick time, whereas I have 4+ weeks of vacation time and another week of sick time. Corporate jobs can suck in some ways, but benefits are so much better.
I take a lot of Fridays off in the summer and skip town for 3 day weekends. It helps.
You get used to it. I remember feeling so burnt out when I was working my first full time job, I actually had a panic attack. It was so scary. But i pushed through and it did get easier. Now I'm old and it's starting to wear me out
You have to find a way to rest and recharge. Or you'll burn out. If your stuff is all digital, unplug for a couple hours for something regularly. Dealing with people? Private introvert hobbies. Social engagements after work gone nuts? Limit yourself to a reasonable number and pick and choose.
I used to work 8 days straight with one day off then another 3 to 4 days at work. but I learned to not over extend myself for a job like that again. at least you have a weekend each week to count on.
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So important to know how the impact of other people’s energies can take a toll!
That’s why I refuse to have kids
Number 1 is it’s just not hard. It’s not. This might not be you personally but a lot of people get dissatisfied with life so they stay up too late. The late evening hours are the only time they have completely to themselves so they don’t want that time to end. So they stay up late. DONT DO THAT. Just go to bed on time. If you get full sleep you’ll lose out on hours but the hours you’re awake will be so much less miserable. Adult bed time fucking sucks. Nobody can argue forcing yourself to sleep instead of one more episode is fun. It’s not fun. It does suck. It’s 100% the right choice.
Beats me, I work 6 sometimes 6.5 days a week! 🤷🏻♂️ But seriously though, choose an occupation or field that you gives you great personal satisfaction, even if you may make less financially, it’ll be worth it because at the EOD you’ll enjoy your work and you can sustain this employment for a longer period of time and thus avoid burn out!
alcohol and video games
I’ve felt this way for like 10 years until I found a job I liked recently
1. Prioritize exercise. Don't let that habit die even if it's 30 minutes a day. 2. Learn about r/fire and get out of the rat race sooner than later 3. In the meantime you'll never finish your honey do's, so take your time with them by still leaving yourself plenty of me/fun time. Get groceries and one other errand on Saturday, but the rest of the day should be whatever fuels your non work passions. Don't have a hobby? Try some! 4. Spend less time in screens. Screens are exhausting. Touch some grass. Better yet take a dip in a cold body if water. 5. Take more walks. This is outside of exercise. But a quick walk before, during, and/or after work can really boost your mood. Leave the earbuds at home if possible. Trust. 6. Use all of your PTO. I will never understand folks who lose out on paid time off. Have nothing planned? Who cares. Take the week off and catch up on life before that time is gone for good. Good luck!
Try to find a job that mildly interests you it will do wonders. When I was a cashier and had to hear the same jokes from customers every day I was ready to jump off a bridge
Full time work should be 30 hours.
I honestly think it matters what you’re doing for work. When I was doing aerial telecommunications I LOVED working. We did long hour days, hit OT at lunch on Wednesdays, life was good. I’d do anything to get back in that field.
the most important thing is not to have commute. its the commute that's killing you. You feel so utterly useless for 1 hour-2 hours everyday in the car/bus/metro by the time you get to the job or back at home everything is devoid of happiness. My job is 10min from home without traffic, but I still feel the drain of my life when I go back home because the traffic make it 30mins.
Find a job that you enjoy. Stop being a clown. If you’re in any sort of developed country count yourself lucky. Know that the majority of humanity has had it worse than you. Get used to the fact you have to work because nothing is given to us in this life.
there's an interesting life after burnt out and before your death that no one should explore, but we're here buddy
It’s something you need to learn how to do and it’s something never really taught to us. If you take care of yourself in other aspects of your life, you start to find that it becomes more bearable. Sleeping and eating well, taking care of your mental health, working out when you can. All of that helps. FWIW op, when I started my first big job after college, I felt like it was impossible. I remember my first week, I went straight into my bed face first and couldn’t move. Kept thinking there was no way I’d be able to do it. It takes time.
welcome to being an adult in our dying society. revolution when?
How the F do people manage more than one damn job?
I hate to be that guy, but a change of diet/lifestyle could help immensely. And get enough sleep.
Have fun things planned for the weekend and try to make friends at work that will support you when you feel stressed. Plan one vacation a year in the Spring. Eventually you will find a job you enjoy working at, and it won’t be as bad
We don’t lol. Being an adult sucks ass.
That’s the fun part, we don’t!
We ARE burned out.
You’ll eventually will get use to it… the more practice you have the easier it will get. Now imagine, doing all of that and taking care of kids. And kids get sick, wet the bed in the middle of the night, puke on you when least expect it … then during the weekends, you have to take them kids to birthday parties and classes and still be going to work and taking care of the house … you got this
Welcome to adult life. You have it EASY now. Wait until you have a mortgage, partner, babies. You won't sleep. You will need to earn more and more to support the family. Then the kids want EVERYTHING. All the while you boss knows how desperate you are to earn so they pile on the work. House constantly needs cleaned and repaired. Your cars will need expensive repairs. This is the path for 90% of people. Then some people plan plan plan ahead. Finance, Budgets, Investing, Diet, Health, Time Management, Skill based income, Particular partner selection. I took the second path. Currently 38. 1 young child. Married to a brilliant wife. 300K of cash generating investments, enough to clear my mortgage and have plenty left over. Employer knows I don't need the money so don't annoy me. Path is yours to choose.
Thank god you can choose the path of not having kids.
That’s what I was thinking as I read this lol. Just need a decent little house, a cat/dog and maybe a partner if that ever happens. Kids have their rewarding moments, but imo they’re not worth the crazy amount of effort required and I’d be a shit parent thanks to my emotional problems from my screwed up childhood
dont scare the poor guy! Its not that bad!
Well most people work 40 hours a week, just remember the weekend is 48 hours 😁
Switch to a job that offers 4X10’s or 3 X 12’s
Never give 100% all 5 days. Only way.
I go to the gym 7 days a week and I’m a cardiology resident
Alcohol
Have a way to relieve stress (in the healthiest manner possible). What I used to do is always telling my coworkers about how much of an asshole some customers were and since they were way more experienced than me, they understood and had always something useful to say. If you can't vent your frustrations somehow, you won't make it past the week
sucks right
7 days no problem you just get up and do it who cares
Yes I felt this hard in my first 2 years of full time work…it did get better for me - after a while I had enough energy to go to the gym and that really helped. Hang in there there!
I'm active outside of work. I work out sometimes twice a day, I go to concerts, I get tattooed, I go out with family and friends...I focus on my outside of work life. When I'm at work I listen to my favorite movies, shows and podcasts...I take my breaks to walk away, meditate and read. I get burnt out by Thursday usually..but it's not too bad as I'm so active outside of work. My job is mentally exhausting. But I love it. It also helped me buy a house on my own. I learned you gotta keep yourself happy and healthy..work is just that work. You clock in..you clock out..and you leave it there.
I decided a long time ago that lifting heavy things is very boring to me. I love moving my body. So I do calisthenics, Muay Thai, and tennis now. Much, much happier.
Well I like having food and a place to live for me, my wife and dogs... so kinda just go through the motions and on my weekends, dissociate and piss and moan that life sucks ass lol plus, probably will never be able to retire. Anytime we start putting money aside into our savings, some bullshit comes up that we were not expecting ( covid in 2020, skin cancer removal 2 years ago, and someone crashing into my wifes car that we had literally just paid off the month before)
Who says we're not? But what's the alternative? I, for one, am keeping a roof over my head, my lights turned on, and gas in my car.
As most have mentioned, prioritizing your health: getting to bed early, eating right, drinking water, exercising, managing stress, limiting Internet usage which can assist with getting time back. Scheduling is important and eliminating things that don't serve you in life.
One of the big reasons I switched to a shift work job Sure the days are a little longer but then getting 4 or so days off at a time after is totally worth it, mini holiday each time
The system isn't meant for us, the people, to be comfortable, that's for the billionaires who reap all the benefits of the back breaking work have to do to just barely scrape by.
I feel like school prepared us for it. school sucked but I had to go. now it's work/career. just need to save enough now so I don't have to work as hard/long later