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As a contentious adult, do you have other things to do other than the screentime? It's not always the issue with the amount of screen time as it is with what else you have to do. Do you read, exercise, play sports, an instrument, a band, or do you volunteer? Do you make art or knit?
You and your parents need other ways to engage you, if that's taken care of screentime is ancillary to me.
The problem with screens is people think they dominate your life, but it's all a balance.
This 100%, I’m an avid crocheter and of course, to make the things I want, I need access to screens. I’m often crocheting for hours and just briefly glancing at my device for instructions but often keeping the tab open in front of me for hours. Sometimes I’m making designs too for the projects. So I can definitely understand in that sense it would be annoying for me, but I would easily be able to work around it with a pen and paper/printing if I really had to.
Ultimately, my point here is that if you have a hobby or two you really enjoy that is teaching you practical, tangible skills, then i’d bet the screen-time restrictions would go away. I’m an older Gen-Z, so smartphones/tablets weren’t super common (for kids at least) to have until I was probably around 14. And I honestly wish I would’ve had more encouragement from my parents to explore hobby interests because I definitely spent way too much time on screens as a young teen without any restrictions. 4 hours a day is plenty, especially considering you said they’re taking your phone and not things like TV away.
This this this. When I go into hobby mode, my phone is only used for background music or podcasts and occasionally messaging friends back and forth. And this can sustain me ALL DAY. Technically my screen time is sky high due to my phone always being open on YouTube or my friends dms lol. If I didn’t have hobby time I’d be even more of a useless phone addict and if you took away my phone I wouldn’t have much to do with myself.
Life is alot more than phone time.
Gaming, art, sports, reading , etc… many hobbies exists.
It sounds boring but if you find one you love, you’ll thank us later.
The worst is to be at 35 years old, not knowing yourself, doing phone time whenever you have a day off because you dont know what else to do.
Yeah as someone who grew up with a ds but not a phone, can confirm the dopamine hits from a ds vs social media scrolling are insanely different. Phones ruined my attention span more than video games ever could. Endless scrolling vs the inherent time control over having multiple levels or story beats is a crazy different understanding of time.
Not saying gaming all day is healthy either but ngl it feels better than scrolling
Gaming is pretty different.
If they're on their phone a lot it would likely be on social media.
Social media overuse can have negative effects on mental health.
Gaming is different however, it's a lot more of an entertainment form and is known to help mental health (in most cases)
This, this and a 1000 times this, it's so important to try things out and find something you're good at, instead of just watching other people be good at them on a phone
As a 19 year old, I wish my parents better taught me to regulate my screen time. I know it might not seem like it now, but they're doing you a favor. 4 hours screen time on phones is plenty one needs.
This is not teaching the child to regulate themselves in anyway. This is regulating the child yes but its absolutely does not teach the child to do this themselves. Its at best a bandaid for internal bleeding.
Asking the child what they want, why they want it, and discussing if there is a more appropriate or productive way to fulfill the desire would teach them to think critically and self regulate. I would have hated being so dramatically limited and absolutely would have grown to resent anyone trying to enforce stupid rules like this. I get wanting your child to be self sufficient without their screens but you must instill these values without brute force or they will only listen to your rules when you will find out about it and i promise there will be a lot of times the parents dont find out.
I agree with these points but I don't think 4 hours of screen time reaches into the territory of "I need to find a way to circumvent this", it's not even much of an inconvenience if you play your cards right.
I actually mostly agree with this. If a 16 year old needs to be told 4 hours of screen time only because they struggle with it, parents should be looking into why they struggle with it and putting in the effort to foster hobbies instead of relying solely on limiting screen time to do their job for them and pretend it’s done. Otherwise the kids just gonna grow up craving screen time and despising the idea of screen time limits. At least, at 16. Younger kids really really need more screen time limits so their brain doesn’t literally melt lol
I would try to consider where your parents are coming from and try to understand their perspective. That's generally a good idea for most arguments as a lot of people argue back and forth without listening to the other person to hear what they're saying.
But for screen time they're concerned you're going to spend all your time looking at screens and not engaging with other things in the world. And probably concerned that'll be a tough habit to break and will consume more and more of your life. And as an adult who works a lot on a computer and then goes home and spends a fair amount of time on a computer, it's not a totally unfounded idea. And a good idea to try to reduce screen time to not go too far. If you want them to bend on that I might offer a compromise. Maybe instead of 4 hours per day you could agree to 28 hours a week so you had more flexibility but you'd have to be responsible to manage that time to not use it all up too fast. Or maybe trying to engage more with things outside of screens? See if you can find a middle ground there that they'll be more likely to accept than just getting rid of the rule.
With the bedtime, there are some legitimate reasons for that too. Teenagers are very often getting too little sleep and you're at an age where your body needs more sleep. You are free to sleep in over the summer, but that'll also make it tougher for you to adjust back to a school schedule and to adjust if you have anything that you need to be up earlier for. Though with both the bed time and the screens, I think the best argument is that you are 16, you are a few years away from being an adult able to make all these choices for yourself. And the best way to prepare you to make all of those adult choices is to practice being able to make those kinds of choices for yourself. But if you want to make that argument that you're almost an adult you do have to act like it. When you present this to them try to do it in a cool and calm way being very reasonable, listen to their arguments. Suggest a compromise. Perhaps you try moving the bedtime back for a week, or removing it for a week so you can choose for yourself, and you try not to abuse that power too much. Or come at it with a question like what can I do to prove to you that I'm mature enough to handle not having a bedtime?
No guarantees of course, but the more you can be mature and reasonable and seem like an adult, and the more you can listen to them, the more likely they are to return that.
Yes.
You're a child. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. Legally. Developmentally. Your brain isn't even fully formed.
Staring at tech all day is objectively bad for your health and going to bed at a reasonable hour is objectively good for it. 4 hours is a full 1/4 of your time awake. Put the phone down and find other ways to spend your time.
Go outside. Read a book. Pick up a hobby. Do something active. Get a job.
Jesus... I sound like my father. I digress.
Advice on what to say is pretty easy: say okay. Your parents are trying to keep you healthy. Stop making that harder than it needs to be by fighting them on very lenient limits.
This little device in my hand does a lot of jobs. Personal television. Communication device. Camera. Music source. Gaming device. Calculator. Research assistant. Library.
Screen time is a worthless term. When I was a kid, the emphasis was on limiting television time. A television did one thing, though there were different types of content but was mostly just entertainment. A kid can use up an hour of screen time playing music while cleaning their room or doing chores.
Yes, thank you, I know what a smartphone is.
If music streaming is using a significant amount of screentime both iOS & Android have built in settings to exclude selected apps from the limit. It's very easy to set up.
I feel like 4 hours of screen time a day is plenty. It’ll give you some fun & keep your brain healthy. Get some books if you can’t sleep at night. Or knit. Or clay. Or draw. Or write.
Maybe use your time more productively. Like getting a summer job. Or get outside and go hiking. Your parents be doing you a favor. Don't become addicted to screen time. Life is too Short to waste. You're missing out.
So true. And the time that you waste today is never going to come back. Make as many memories as possible. So when you look back, you will have so many things to cherish ❤️
As the father of a 15 year old son I can say this; He limits him self to 3 hours of screen time per day. He has done this for his mental health after he wend 2 weeks without his phone, again self imposed. Although he does not have a bed time during the summer he generally goes to bed at 10/1030.
As a chronically online phone addicted 21 year old i really wish my screen time had been limited as a kid, 16 might be a little old for them to be doing that idk but having limited screen time is definitely not the worst thing
I agree with the screen time. Phones can be a black hole of unproductive negativity. Bedtime though is odd. Maybe your parents want some alone time? Tell them that they won’t see after 10:30 and see how that goes.
this is less based on upbringing and more based on your own personal body rhythms. I haven't had a bed time since I was in middle school, but 15 years later, going to be early for me is 1.00am.
that being said, I work on west coast time and live on the east coast so my whole day is 3 hours behind everyone else around me. the big boon is that I have always been far more awake and productive during those hours when everyone else has long retired for the night and are long abed.
Next post from this dude after getting his bed time removed is gonna be one complaining that "at 11pm every night he can hear his parents having loud raunchy love making from their room and it's extremely inconsiderate, why can't they wait until I go to sleep first?" A post I see on here more than a few times lmfao.
Lmao. This was my 1st thought about the “bedtime “. My wife and I put the kids to bed earlier when we want to have a few drinks and get down. If not they can stay up and hang out with us. Mine are 10 and 12 though.
The kid may be dutifully going to bed at the appointed hour but I guarantee he ain't going to sleep. If his parents believe that he is, they are completely forgetting their own teen years.
If you are in the US your parents are well within their legal bounds to reduce screen time, especially if they are funding the device.
It sucks but it’s true.
I am 30 and my parents did the same thing to me as a kid, but more with TV/computer as smartphones were only just really starting.
Also, for reference, my screen time allowance was 30 minutes a day, hahaha
But looking back I will say that I am thankful to my parents because I have a lot of great memories of being young and hanging out with my buddies outside
The best way to overcome this is actually not to fight them on it, but to essentially embrace it.
Do something creative with your extra time. Write a book, paint, go outside and play ball, connect with people in real life as much as possible. I know that’s not want to hear, but this doesn’t have to be bad if you “make it your own”. The more you fight them on this, the more you will feel annoyed by it.
4 hours a day is a lot. Like a lot. Go outside. Damn man, go make some friends. Talk to people. Go fishing. Ride a bike. Enjoy the freedom that summer offers. Find stuff to do. Go to the pool.
Being a minor is hard because you really are at your parents whims and rules
If you want to present something you should pratice, if you want to debate be ready to have something to say to everything in response, if you want an argument then you already lost and they will just lord over you
4 hours is high, they're doing you a favour whether you see it or not. The bedtime is debatable, but its encouraging you to get healthy sleep and grow properly, something I did not do because I didn't have such restraints. You'll thank them in the long run.
They should cut it back to 3. 4 hours per day staring into a screen at 16 is insane. Like you said, it's summer and your 16. Go out and have fun, with people, at places, and do things. Also your a minor, respect your parents choices. They know more than you do. Screentime is directly related to depression and anxiety. Do you even pay the bill either? Or is it their phone, in their names, that they pay for?
As a fully grown man who limits his screen time, I'd say go along with it.
These devices we stare at, aren't good for us, on many different levels.
By all means enjoy some screen time but have other things going on in your life, like a physical hobby, drawing, painting, hiking, whatever. Just something not on a screen.
Maybe read a book or learn something new.
Countless generations survived without screens and did just fine. Take this time to fine tune your personality. Get to know yourself so you aren’t floating aimlessly like most teens who feel lost after school.
Your parents aren’t trying to punish you or ruin your life. They want you to be productive outside of a screen.
I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there and it’s super frustrating when your parents want to control you but trust me in a couple of years you will the one putting screen time limits for yourself😂 The amount of time we spend on our phones is crazy. Maybe try the forest app or something similar so it feels more like your choice to put down your phone and not something your parents told you to do.
I was allowed to use my phone as much as I wanted (within reason) but it’s because flip phones were still a thing in my teens and I couldn’t do much else besides text and call people and play that snake game.
They are doing you a huge favor! You won’t be missing anything, you’ll be gaining peace of mind and your future self will be grateful. Use the screen time to inspire activities and conversations in the real world! The best thing you can do is harness the fact that you can have the best of both worlds but not too much of either. There will be a time (you’re so close!) when you’ll have your freedom and luckily you might not have to spend that freedom being chronically online.
As for screen time, 4 hours is insane. Nobody needs to be on a screen for that long, unless they've got a job that requires it. There are better things to do with your time.
As for bedtime, 10:30 maybe seems early, but — it kind of makes sense to keep your sleep schedule roughly in line with that of the rest of the family, if possible. That way your meal schedule is aligned as well, and you're not up all night making noise doing whatever and keeping people awake. But, if it were up to me, I'd say — as long as you can be up by 8 or 9 or whatever, just call 10:30 wind-down time, and you can read/write, draw, whatever is quiet and in your own room/space.
You are not thinking about the vast of things people do with their phones/tablets. I use mine 2-4 hours a day just to play music. I read e-books on my tablet ( I prefer paper books but Amazon has a wide variety of public domain classics for free). I use my phone for research, tasks, entertainment, keeping track of finances, paying bills, and a plethora of other things, such as learning the definition of "plethora".
Your parents house your parents rules, real simple. They are probably paying the bills, and they are probably in charge of your security as well. Want to argue against them? Tell them you want a job, and that you want to pay your way going forward.
I don't think it's a bad thing for them to monitor your screentime. However, having a hard limit at your age might not be the best option.
If I were you, I would try to find something useful you can use your screen for, then petition your parents to let you go beyond that 4 hr limit.
For example, learning to paint something from a video, learning how to code, learning another language, looking for summer jobs, etc.
If that doesn't work, use your screentime wisely. I.e., maybe exercise before getting on your phone, take a break every hour, watch a movie or play a videogame (since you mentioned only your phone screentime is limited) instead of using your phone, find a hobby that takes you away from the screen, etc.
At the end of the day, they have your best interest at heart. It might be annoying, but I certainly don't think their actions will harm you in any way. Want evidence? Just look at the millions of posts, the research papers, etc. on the effects of excessive screentime and how many adults, yes adults, are struggling with an addiction to their phones.
Sorry OP you're not getting the responses you probably hoped for but their right. One time my mom gave me a 30 minutes a day of screentime. 4 hours is more than enough. 10:30 isn't that early of a bed time either. I know it feels like you're old enough to be in charge of yourself but you're still young, thats just the way it is. I recommend getting a job or going out, don't waste your whole summer playing video games all day. Thats probably why your parents gave you a screen time in the first place.
At 16 I could enforce when I went to bed and still get enough sleep, get good grades in school, manage my friends and I had like 8+ hours of screentime per day, idk about you
My 16 has a screen time limit as well. Hers is slightly less than yours. During the summer it is increased as long as she competes her daily chores. When school starts up it goes back.
As a minor in the house who doesn’t pay any bills she is in no position to make demands. If she needs more time for something she can make a request and my wife or I will grant it if it’s for a good reason.
My 18 and 22 year olds who are still at home do not because they pay for their own phones and service as well contribute towards things for the house. My oldest (22) is currently saving to buy our house when we move south in two years.
by screen time are you talking about phone-use only or everything that contains a screen. If its the latter, 4 hours is nowhere near enough, your daughter is probably miserable. If its the former then yeah that's reasonable.
Yeah you don’t need a bedtime, as long as lack of sleep isn’t affecting you badly at all. You’re old enough to go to bed when you want.
For the screen time, 4 hours should probably be enough, if you’re doing things outside of your phone which you really should be.
Screen time limits are necessary for 16 year olds. A 1030 bedtime is too early. Midnight would be better.
Earnestly look for a job. I bet if you got one, they might ease up a bit.
First, you are only 16 and still a child. So your parents are looking out for you.
Second, four hours of screentime should be more than enough time. Especially considering that I would assume you are looking for a summertime job now.
10:30 is a little harsh, but not if you are getting up at 6:30 in the morning.
Some of this is a little strict but none of it is unreasonable.
In two years, you can move out (good reason to get a job mow) and then make your own rules
My husband and I swapped passwords and have screen limits of 2hrs a day.
That’s plenty for texting friends, a little doomscrolling, googling occasionally.
What do you need more then 4 hrs a day of phone time for?
you're 16 and live under their roof, they pay for your phone your room and board. They get to make the rules. If you want to be convincing you need to show them you hear and understand their concerns but point out something they over looked.
As others have mentioned ensuring you have balanced and you aren't just going to go phone time all the time is a good way to help try and convince them, but honestly I would say something more along the lines of "in the modern world people are expected to have access to a phone at all times, while this is a privilege to have at a young age, the ability to familiarize myself with, and use this technology to it's upmost will be important for my development not only socially, but professionally as well." then commit to what ever plan they may want to come up with to ensure you're using your phone not just for what I imagine is mindless fun.
You're a child that lives for free under your parents roof. 4 hours of screen time is a lot by any metric, Alternatively you could have 0 screen time. The average person has about 16 hours in a day where they're awake and functioning. 4 hours is a quarter of that time and probably half your free time when you factor in eating, basic hygiene like showering and brushing teeth, exercise, and chores that you should definitely have at your age. So factor all that in out of an 8 hour summer break day about half of it is screen time. I don't even get 4 hours a day and I'm a grown man with children of my own if you want some perspective. My children don't have a "screen time" but with how many other activities they have during the day, plus all the things I listed above, and the summer workbooks I give them to do to get ahead in their next year before having fun they don't have that many hours in a day to sit and stare at a screen.
I actually think 4 hours a day is plenty of screen time and putting the phone down at bedtime will create good habits youll be thankful for in a few years when you’re in college/university or have an adult job.
I'm guessing concrete screentime/bedtime limits probably feel childish to you -- not that you necessarily want to stay up later or be on your devices more, but you want the freedom to, and the autonomy to make that decision yourself, rather than the same structures you had when you were little.
If I've got that right, there's a sense in which I agree with you -- you'll be on your own in a couple of short years, and you need to learn to regulate these kinds of things yourself, without a concrete rule. I say this as a college professor who sees first year students struggle ALL THE TIME with the rules going away and no self-regulation skills to replace them with. It's a mess.
But here's the rub: what you're trying to learn to do is keep your sceeentime and bedtime in healthy ranges. It's not about doing whatever you want, but choosing on your own in a way that's smart for you. If you're doing it right, you'll still be going to bed at a reasonable hour and limiting your time in your phone. Just for different reasons.
Maybe you can propose to your parents that this summer is a trial period for that. The deal is, they remove the hard and fast rules, and you try to be responsible without them. Then in the last week of the summer, you sit down together and evaluate how you each think it went, and what you each learned from the experiment.
**Don't let your phone usage inhibit bigger ambitions.** Don't aimlessly scroll on Instagram, or do snapchat streaks. None of that time-wasting.
I think that's the biggest issue with phone usage. Don't be using it at dinner, etc. If you're out and about, appreciate the world, don't be using that time to spend on your phone.
And then in my mind isn't that where the worry stems from?
For bed time, it can be argued that it's bad circadian rhythm for those your age. You should look that one up to check it though. I think 10:30 is reasonable curfew, but you said 'bed time.'
I never had screen limits, I never had a bedtime within reasonable 'staying up lateness.'
Ask your parents 'why?' and ask them honestly, because I'm sure their reasoning is similar.
Tell your parents that the window is closing on their ability to make decisions for you and if they want you to grow up to be a healthy, independently functioning adult then they have to start cutting back. They cannot treat you at 16 how they treated you at 12. The risk is that if you don’t learn how to manage your own time and take responsibility for yourself, then you’re more likely to take bigger risks when you are an adult out of their supervision.
Ask them to trust you that you’ll make good decisions about screen time and bedtime, because the day is coming soon where they can’t make them for you and it’s their job to help you prepare for that day, not put it off as long as possible.
It’s hard to understand at the time, but looking back on it i wish i had spent more time outside and gone to bed earlier, so just trust that they’re trying to actually help your development and not set limits on you just because they’re big meanies.
Not sure there is an argument,.other than 4 hours seems like a long time.
There is an outside, people, places, jobs....Oddly enough, you will appreciate this when you are an adult
As other's have stated on here, there's more than just screen time. You are fast approaching the prime of your social life. Get outside, go to a park, go hang out with friends, go make new friends. Be outside and take up a hobby or activity. Play some sports, go running, read books, write books, use your imagination!
There is so much more to life than scrolling through tik toks all day long.
If I could talk to my 16 year old self, Id say stop sitting at home all day everyday playing video games and go outside. Go hangout with other kids, make friends, hit the gym alittle. Talk to girls or something, practice your social skills / argumentative skills.
If you don't know where to start, just walk around your town / find where people gather or where the hotspot is. In my town, we have kids at the local park daily playing basketball / volleyball / tennis.
You're parents may seem cruel giving you this limit, but it's because they want you to develop healthy habits and improve yourself. I'm slowly learning this as I grow up too.
I wish I only spent 4 hours a day on my phone. Mindless scrolling, always being connected to social media's not a good thing. It's an honest to goodness addiction. I think 4 hours is *plenty* of time, and summer break's a good time to pick up a job and have pocket money (and an early start on work experience), or you can start picking up hobbies. Maybe you and your parents can go on some outings on the weekend? Soon, you won't even find yourself missing your phone.
As for the bedtime, I totally get where you're at. I had a bedtime at that age, and I thought I was some hot shit who didn't need it. Now, my sleep schedule's shit and that can really throw off your whole rhythm during the day. There's a reason it's recommended you get 8 hours of sleep, because those 8 hours are when your body's essentially resetting itself, in that your brain processes events and memories, your cells are working hard to heal any injuries you may have - basically since your brain doesn't have to focus on piloting the body, it focuses on doing everything else. That's kinda why sometimes when you're not feeling well, you take a nap and wake up feeling a bit better. And if it helps, getting a good night's rest actually helps your body burn off weight and it can improve the look of your skin.
Listen, I understand your position. Feels like your parents are treating you like you're 6 when you're 16, right? But believe me, these rules can only benefit you in the long run. They're not putting them in place to be mean, but to prevent your brain from falling into bad habits that are admittedly *really* difficult to break without some significant and consistent discipline. You'll be thanking them in 10 years.
Sit them down and explain why you should have more screentime and if that doesn't work some parents apps appear on the kids' phone but only show them like the screen time they've had or the apps you can click the three dots and hit stop supervision and if you know the password to your Google account or iCloud account just put your password in it stops the supervision.
it seems like nobody is giving you the advice you want, so i will lol.
(yes, people should have more to do than look at their screens. but a 16 year old with a bedtime? plus the parents seem strict so maybe they can’t get out much.)
list the things that your screen time limit prevents you from doing. frame it as “parent friendly” as possible. ”i’m not allowed to watch videos” turns into “i’m missing out on free information”, etc etc. then, you’re gonna present your list to them and be prepared for follow up questions. they need to feel like they’re forcing you to miss out on something important. if that doesn’t work, complain. controlling parents hate complaining and will inevitably give up.
as for the bedtime, i don’t know why they’d do that? do they go to bed early? i’d propose a “light’s out” time rather than a bed time (“i’ll just stay in my room when you guys go to bed”). maybe ask them why you have a bedtime and see if you can form an argument around their reasoning
The argument really can't come from you. Your best bet is other adults showing them how they held the consequences of extreme rules against their parents.
Could start a business and argue that lack of access is hurting your productivity (ideally by being so productive it's true). Or hey get a job and buy a second phone.
On the bedtime, it really is true that sunlight signals the bodies circadian rhythm or whatever, and not letting your sleep schedule slip just because its a holiday will help keep you healthy. If you have an older sibling, have them get a night shift job so your parents realize bed time is a construct and a regular sleep schedule can occur at any time. In fact some people even do naps with biphasic sleep. The trick though is still consistency.
But these are pretty normal limits, and you're lucky they aren't the truly strict parents that are sometimes heard about. There are only two years until you have a lot more freedom. The most fruitful thing to do maybe to accept the limits at least for now and figure out how to make the most of your time until then. Like honestly this is so common, a lot of teenagers feel trapped.
As for the 1030 bedtime - I remember my Dad saying 'nothing good happens as if 10 o'clock '! He was right - you will appreciate a bedtime/curfew! The times he let me slide proved he was right!
The phone time is not that unreasonable - at 16, a job isn't out of the question. Find something fun like a skate park or movie theatre or wait tables and make your own shopping money. That'll show them you're responsible and managing your own business. They'll come around!
The other posts are good advice - don't argue, discuss!!!
Wishing you luck!!!
Hi, psychotherapist here-I understand that screen time feels really important and there are lots of quality research studies to say that limiting it while your brain is growing (and it still is until you turn 25!) is a positive thing and leads to healthier mental health and better cognition in adulthood. Also, the blue light is bad for sleep in that you might have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep and causes eye strain (even with night shift on). So, all that to say, your parents are trying to help you though it makes sense that it might not feel that way. There is way more to life than screens- I agree with other commenters here-have fun with IRL people, go outside, learn to make things, be active, etc . . .
Your bed time is 10:30 and you’re complaining about your parents not want you to spend the entire summer on your phone? Be lucky your parents aren’t dragging you around to work semi pro football games every weekend of the summer and have you at a bedtime of 9. My dad would ground me forget that he grounded me and then ground me again after I reminded him.
tldr at the bottom
fellow 16 y/o here. skip to the bottom paragraph (not the tldr) if you dont want to read the stuff that makes me sound like im 40 and reminicing about my 20s.
the screentime limit is only an issue if your phone is the only thing you use and your parents probably put it there to stop that.
**My recommendations on what to do:** do some other time intensive things now that youve got that summer time like read (i recommend the martian by andy wehr and the hitchhikers guide to the universe series), learn a new skill (im learning fusion 360), explore outside (go to google maps, find an interesting looking patch of forest, a nearby park, or a street. hop on a bike, go there and investigate everything, shop with a cool window display, what might be a path on the edge of the forest (i found a sick dirtbike track and a community treehouse on accident like this) and you can spend a good chunk of your summer like this), grab friend and get in shape or really good at a sport, or just make stuff (go to a local woodshop ask for scraps and learn carpentry for example and maybe you can secure an intern/apprenticeship for college apps like that). this will give you an argument that you aren't wasting away on electronic devices and you can probably leverage that to get rid of the reasons to put on the screen limits. even if its not a full win you could probably leverage some stuff to go from phone limits to app limits. at the very least opt to use a laptop instead of your phone for work and lesiure. the screen is bigger, so you can fit more videos on the homescreen of youtube for more options to choose from rather than being fed one mediocre interest video at a time on mobile, better audio depth, and theres a reason why companies are trying to emulate the endless scrolling design of mobile apps on the desktop experience (think the disgusting youtube layout they're trying where the video title and comments are on the right of the video and you scroll down to find related videos), its still the same content you know but its easier to break out of so you can one meet your schedule but my favorite benefit, two its easier to stop when you are satisfied rather than going straight to the automatic scrolling action from mobile and hey, from what some people are saying, proficiency with a computer may be a rare sought after skill in the near future (intern at parent's job didn't know how to work the function keys...)!
**On bedtimes:** tldr; i think wake up times are better than bedtimes. personally i think bedtimes don't do much, they're easy to circumvent, hard limits mean whatever you're doing before can be properly wrapped up in a way that allocates a smooth amount of time to bed preparations, and oversleeping is still a problem. I belive in a sleep target and enforcing a wake up time. ik its summer break and the dream is to go to sleep at midnight and wake up only in time for lunch but sleeping in is not rlly the best thing for you and theres a whole bunch of research on how waking up early, like 5-6:30 AM (around sunrise) is the best for optimal performance (humans are tuned to work the best at sunrises and sunsets, thats why sunrises are so pretty; because we literally can see colors the most vividly then, best way to cleanse adenosine (the neurochemical that makes us tired), waking with the sun times your adenosine cleanse and cortisol levels to work together rather than against eachother in the evenings), see Andrew Huberman's (neuroscientist at stanford) stuff on yt (for the western neurochemical view), Dr.K's (did his residency at harvard med school) stuff on yt (for the psychiatric more eastern view + he has vids on the science behind a bunch of other self improvement related stuff). instead of a bedtime set a bed "target" around 8-9 hours before your alarm (for me my alarm is at 6 and i sleep 7 hours 30 + 30 mins to fall asleep so 8 hours before 6 am means im lights out by 10 (usually 9:50)). show your parents the science for argument but more importantly put it into action yourself.
**The advice for you personally:** set and try to abide by your own rules that exceed your parents', sleep and wake up on your own and let it be known that you are waking up earlier than your dad or that you got 8 hours of sleep at night and that you have taken the initiative and done 10 textbook pages of the math course you're taking next year. take these commitments like only watching youtube after 5pm or doing 50 pushups a day, write them down big on paper an put them up on your door or across from your desk. this way not only will your parents be unable to forget that you're making an effort, but importantly so that you never lose sight of your resolves (figuratively, but literally also applies here). Eventually you can bring up the fact that your phone limits are getting in the way of your productivity or you cant stop your strava run because after accounting for reading morning news, using your phone as a control hub for your coding project, taking digital notes on physics, and then on top of that going for a recorded run, you simply run out of time, and hopefully your parents will see that those limits are just unnecessary. if that fails, look at you, you've become less dependent on social media for satisfaction, you're more fit, skilled, know more about your area, more cleanly, and just a better person overall.
**TLDR;** argue through action: do stuff other than screens for entertainment, wake up at a time early rather than sleep by xyz time, exceed what seems like a ceiling your parents put over your head and it will fall away by lack of necessity. read the advice paragraph atleast if you only read the tldr.
I think your parents are being fair with those expectations, especially the screen time. Bedtime could be a bit later for the summer, but it’s still viable.
I think you have really good parents for monitoring your screen time. That being said, this is the argument I would use…
1. I need to be able to regulate my own screen time before I “leave the nest”, so please either increase the time or let me self regulate it. This is part of becoming an adult.
2. I will be an adult soon, and need to find out how to balance screen time with other important things like school, hobbies, friends, sports, work, etc.
3. Can you make a bargain with them? For example, if I get a job working 15 hours a week this summer, can I please have more freedom for screen time?
4 hours is an enormous amount of time to be on your phone. You’ll be happy to not have a phone addiction when you’re older and have to enter the real adult world otherwise your life is going to become extremely difficult.
Yikes, you got some control freak parents i see. Welp, legally you are still their slave so there's nothing you can do for now. Just be patient till you're 18 and then stop listening to their wierd rules (except house rules).
And to answer your question, more than 4 hours of screen time doesn't usually hurt anybody. Especially with the eye safety settings they have in settings.
i’m 20 years old and honestly, I wish I was on my phone less than I am right now. It definitely is something that doesn’t get talked about enough but we all have addictions to our phones now. I wonder why four hours a day is not enough for you. however, I will note that I see the value in screen time of course since a lot of our lives and social connections are online and you definitely deserve to be able to connect with people that way (maybe present this argument to them).
i would say, youre 16, still super young although you may not feel it, 2 to 3 more years before i would agree with your post on your side a bit more.
they have limited screentime, ok, thats awesome, a parent activly trying to stop thier child from the brain rot that is tablets and mobile phones, youll appreciate it later in life im pretty sure.
look for a hobbie, something to do to keep your mind off doing nothing, maybe thats the aim of what theyre doing.
the bedtime is a little rough, but each parent each to thier own, in that case, you are 16, i think a bedtime of 11:30 wouldnt be an issue in my eyes, but there are plenty of adults that go to bed before this time so.... everyone is different and you are their child.
I may be the odd opinion out but oh well. I don’t think you’re wrong to be bugged, I also think 4 hours of screen time is good. Everyone is automatically saying “go outside, read a book, touch some grass!” When I was your age (few years ago) I didn’t have a screen time but personally I always wanted to get out of the house, and that’s just me.
But also I feel like hobbies people suggest can also be related to screen time.
I’m an artist, and I was at 16 too. I would use a lot of my screen time for music while painting, or reference images for drawings or paintings. So at your age my screen time would be high but not always because I was actively using my phone. If you have a hobby that involves your phone you could advocate for that.
But a limited screen time isn’t all bad, your parents don’t want you addicted to it, it’s understandable. Unfortunately since you’re sixteen you are kinda stuck with the rules but summer is the perfect time to just have fun and chill out with friends.
Also the suggestion of finding a summer job is slightly unrealistic because the job market in the US is a mess (if you live in the states)
But have fun, it sucks right now. But it’ll get better.
Honestly, screentime would be a lot more helpful to you than harmful. You don't need to scroll on your phone all day, consuming brainrot and fucking up your attention span. You should try to go out more, get a hobby, read books, etc etc
This is actually a great system your parents concocted because you can game it. You tell them that you accept these 4 hours / day restrictions, but any time they ask you to do something for them, like mow the lawn or whatever, you just tell them...
"Sure, I'll mow the lawn, in exchange for 1 additional screen time hour per day credit this week."
If they refuse, you tell them "no deal!". If they agree, you just essentially bought yourself an extra 7 hours of screen time for a chore that you likely would of have had to do regardless.
My kids would have never done that to me because they knew if they did, they’d probably end up with less time and more chores. I don’t negotiate with little terrorists! 😆
4 hours of screen time is plenty as a kid. You should have much more you can do. The other side of that coin is that your parents have to be willing to drive you to those things, or buy you a car.
As for bedtime, that’s strange to me, especially in the summer. When I was 16 my normal sleep rhythm was 2am to 11am. Trying to go to bed earlier did nothing. That being said I am a morning person now, up by 8am even after a night at the bars. You could probably find some scientific studies on sleep schedules and circadian rhythms in teens. That may help. Your parents may also be worried about their ability to get adequate sleep, maybe talk about ways to limit your noise after certain hours.
They are doing you a favor. Don't end up like that guy on fb that makes everything political because he lives on Facebook for 10 plus hours a day it will melt your young mind and it will make you miserable. Just deal with it until you're 18 get a job and get your own phone and plan. It's a lot I know but try to see the silver lining.
If youre dead set on getting more screen time just tell them you're almost an adult and need to start walking on your own 2 feet. They may not change their mind but everyone has to start making decisions for themselves at somepoint.
In my experience there are three kinds of strict parents; the vengeful, the visionary, and the high achieving. Vengeful parents are angry at you for whatever reason and won't let you have fun because of it; you can't convince them, wait it out. High achieving is what it sounds like; you can't do anything if it's not useful. You might be able to buy privileges in exchange for being extremely productive 90% of the time. Depending on the parent in question you might have to get a job or take up a sport. It's almost a numbers game; x amount of effort for x amount of cooldown.
Visionaries are those parents that are obsessed with image or tradition, or were raised in a specific way. They have a very narrow idea of what they want their life to be and what is acceptable. There are certain things they will never compromise on, and there's a good chance you can't negotiate with them. If you give them what they want it's because thats how things are the supposed to be, don't do what they want you're being a problem. There's no easy way to change their minds but if you stay on their good side and very slowly pull at the leash you'll end up closer to what you want.
Hey friend. Your parents care about you. Did you know that studies have shown screen time is addictive? It messes up the dopamine (the happy I wanna do stuff chemical) in your brain and then you feel anxious whenever you are not attached to the screen. If you need more than four hours you already have an issue.
Can you find other hobbies? Do you do anything but sit on your phone or game system? Pick up a book, go for a walk, find a sport to play. Go to the park with your friends and touch grass.
I wouldn’t push both of these things. Focus on the bed time you aren’t getting good sleep if you just lay there and your not tired. The. Find something fun to do offline. Anything. Play a board game or go to the mall with your friends.
Don’t be a phone zombie. Four hours is enough.
4 hours is honestly fine, I'd suggest you try and find other things to do for the rest of the day. It'll suck at first, but eventually you won't even think about it anymore, and you'll have a more fulfilled life as a result. Maybe take the time to learn some coding or something
Put down the phone and go outside head to the beach play sports walk in the bush trust me you want to make friends and be active while young because when you get old like me you won't be in so much pain and will have a social life
I think this stems from a legitimate concern - parents (and society in general) have real reasons to believe that too much screen time affects mood, attention span, sleep regulation, etc.
That being said, as others have mentioned it's important that you have the opportunity to learn to self regulate, because your parents won't always be there to manage your screen time, or your bed time, and if their oversight becomes a crutch of sorts it could make your life harder in the long run.
Just my suggestion, but I'd talk to them about trial runs where they give you more autonomy over your screen time. Perhaps instead of 4 hrs/night you get a weekly screen time allotment for 28 hrs, and it's your responsibility to use it as you see fit. Or, perhaps you agree to track your screen time for some length of time (like a month) as a way to show you can responsibly manage it without dropping other responsibilities and maintaining other healthy activities outside of screens/electronics.
I don't know your exact circumstances, so I can't tell you how much time on a screen is "right" (I mean, someone who's interested in being a gardener probably needs less screen time than an aspiring music producer), but I think instead of framing it as "my parents want me to spend X time on screens and I think that's unfair" you should approach it as "how can I develop my own autonomy while respecting my parents overall goal of teaching me solid life skills like self regulation"
I hope this helps!
Four hours of daily screen time is a good restriction, if it's social media. If it's also show and movies, that seems severe. Can you just go to a friend's house and watch stuff together?
However, what else are you doing this summer? Are you going to a camp or activities? Getting a job? Joining a debate club to home your argument skills?
As a night owl, I wouldn't have appreciated the curfew, especially over summer break. I snuck out my window a lot as a teen. I'm not suggesting you do the same…
As a 16 year old who will sit in my room doing nothing without even realizing it. I feel 4 hours is great. Also sleep is really important. I have a hard time going to bed at 10:30 which is what I try to set myself to.
Honestly, get a job. you won't notice not having your phone and a lot of customer service jobs this time of year will keep you to or past 10:30. And for the bed time, are your parents aggressively enforcing it, or do you just have to be in your room? At 30 I already start winding down my day around 10.30. then I usually sit up for another hour or two reading. Granted, my wind-down is an hour workout and a nice hot shower, but the point still remains.
So I'm an adult but this popped up on my home page. The bedtime is one thing and does seem a little strict, but not insane. It's not like you really have to go to sleep at that time anyway, just take it as an opportunity to quietly read in peace. Reading is also the BEST pre-sleep activity, trust me. Screens before bed is really bad for the brain.
Which brings me to your screen-time. What do you use your phone for? In theory it should be for communicating with your friends and maybe doing research about your hobbies., and not much else. You don't understand this because you're young, but limiting access to screens is GOOD PARENTING. They clearly care a lot about you, and that's something to be thankful for.
Scrolling literally does rot your brain. I mean it actually markedly makes a difference to your cognition. It's a very real problem. Using screens late at night is also bad for you. Much of the content online is bad for you (so much fucking negativity, pessimism, and pettiness on Reddit...)
I think 4 hours of social media is about 3.5 hours too much. If you really want access to your phone more, just arrange to meet up with your friends, and say you're taking the phone with you in case of emergencies. You won't be using it while you're talking to your friends anyway (and you shouldn't, it's disrespectful), but just having it in your pocket while you're out-and-about might help you claim a bit of independence.
Honestly in hindsight I wish my mom had set more boundaries like these when I was 16. I didn’t get into a bunch of trouble or anything, but I just did nothing of value with big stretches of time in the summer and I built a lot of bad unhealthy habits.
The screen time limit makes sense but the bedtime is pretty weird, in the middle of summer.
If you're looking for a good argument for the screen, then offer to pay a portion of the bill: then you have a right to determine use.
The bedtime one is just absurd.
Wanting you home by 10:30 makes sense, but actually in bed?
My toddler goes to bed at 9pm.
Okay, while everyone does have some interesting points about limiting screentime, I'm gonna address the arguments part. Approaching the subject of any rules/expectations your parents have from you can be difficult, and the outcome will rely partially on who your parents are and your relationship with them. If you feel comfortable sitting down and having an open discussion with them, it might not be a bad idea. Even if you're not fond of their rules, make sure you open with empathy. For my parents, the key phrase was "I love you and respect you, I want to understand this expectation you have for me". Talking about what they wanted for me and giving my own perspective without getting defensive helped a lot. I cant guarantee you'll get everything you want, but it may help to form compromises. If there are specific reasons why you would like more screentime and where you think it may benefit you more, then have that list prepared (a note card or two doesn't hurt).
I think 4 hours a day is quite generous. I didn’t grow up with a cell phone. And you’ll be 18 soon and can do whatever you want…as long as you can pay the bill
Maybe you should figure out things to do with your life besides staring at your phone. Play sports. Hang out with friends. Learn a musical instrument. Read. Work out. Make art. Live a life that your kids will be envious of.
4 hours screen time is plenty.
1030 summer bedtime for your 16 year old is how you create a party animal.
Some good, some stupid - pretty typical parents.
You’re 16 and it’s summer, go hang out with your friends. Go to an amusement park, go to the beach, have sleepovers and watch dumb movies. Have a cool off. Go to the gym or the park.
Screen time is something a lot of people need. We’re all on our devices way too much. There’s absolutely other things you can do to not be bored AND healthily engage your mind
Hi! I'm 17 so not much older than you and I had the same issue with my parents :( I used to complain a-lot and get mad at them for it. They completely removed screen time, I met someone online, spent all my time talking to them and they absolutely ruined my life! After that I got so scared of using my phone I just stopped and I finally understood why parents insist so much on screen time and their children not using their phones so much.
So I know this might be super annoying for you to hear right now but try to learn to let go. Have some fun outside, go for walks, spend some time with your family, find a nice little job, get some money to spend on things that make you happy. I promise you'll realize how delightful it is to be alive. And your parents will most definitely let go of that whole screen time thing after that cause they'll see the improvement.
so yes just take care of yourself and no matter what happens, if they take it off or not, just try to make the most of what you have. :]
I know it's tough to hear but I'm with your parents on this one. Phones are so addictive and I applaud them for limiting your time. It's important to find other things to occupy your time with. It's summer break! 🥳 go have fun! Enjoy life! Start up a new hobby! What's something you've always wanted to try or learn how to do? Invite some friends over to hang out! Go hang out at your favorite shops, parks, or libraries in town with some friends. If you're bored and looking for something to do maybe you can look for a summer job or do dog walking, baby sitting, lawn mowing, etc for extra money this summer.
So many adults have phone addiction issues (I need to cut back my screen time too). It is a real thing and your parents are just looking out for you because they care♡
Yo, people acting like your phone is the devil or something. There's so much cool stuff to learn online, you could spend 8 hours a day, every day for years and still not run out of things to watch, listen to, or read. Screen time ain't bad if you can control yourself. Sure, you gotta exercise and eat healthy, but do you really need to play an instrument, do sports, or have a hobby? Nah, not really. You can do those things if you want, but no one's gonna force you. But hey, they might be good for keeping you social, even though most of our socializing happens online these days anyway.
I’m 28 and I give myself screen time limits so I don’t waste my days scrolling… age has nothing to do with it. Your parents want you to be active and keeping your sleep cycle through summer is really beneficial… sorry kid, you just gotta deal.
Sorry about these comments, a lot of them are from 30 year old parents and they are just not answering your question. For me, I used to have the same restrictions and something that worked for me was starting to put more time into studying and school to show them I had good grades so they were like "ok, screentime obviously doesn't matter because he is getting these grades" and I was allowed to play games unsupervised in my room and now they straight up don't care anymore what time I go to bed or how long I play, I'm 17.
Another thing you could do is get a job and buy you're own phone, then they can't take it anymore because its your own property (I'm assuming they bought your current phone). If they are pyscho's and still take it, honestly just move out because you're right you are 16 and they should be treating you more mature.
i think 4hrs of screen time is plenty, as an adult i’m trying to get that lower than 4 hours because i swear it has ruined my attention span after 15+ years.
what irks me honestly is the bedtime! 10:30pm? atrocious. it’s well known once puberty hits that teens have trouble sleeping before 11pm. I’d find some articles to sustain your sleeping desire, i’m sure there are a bunch out there.
the conclude with the screen, i know it sucks. but i wish someone restricted me before it was too much a part of my life.
I mean if you were my child I would start expecting you to make your own appropriate bedtime and controlling screen time yourself. Maybe your argument can be that if they give you a little more freedom they can see you making appropriate choices by yourself without their help
16 was a bitch for anyone that had parents that cared for them and doubly so for those that didn't. You've got 2 more years to tough it out... you can do it.
I think they are just helping you to keep structure.
I have zero structure without an obligation and I wish I had learned to create that.
Honestly, I think it would be better to not push back too much. Read books, do physical activity, learn to meditate, word map your interests to get career ideas.
Doing this early in life will set you up for a better life.
My kid is 10 and doesn't have a bedtime on non-school nights. As for the screen time there's not anything you can do. Even if you paid for your phone and paid the bill they still have a say for now. I realize that's strict but as long as you balance your time you can handle it until you turn 18. Sorry about it all
I agree 16 might be a bit old to be actively monitoring screen time to this extend, but I'm gunna be really honest, I don't think your parents are crazy.
Four hours a day is perfectly reasonable of a restriction for screen time for a kid your age. If you don't think you can keep yourself entertained in other ways besides a screen, that's kind of a problem you might want to work on. As you become an adult, learning how to disconnect is an important skill and your parents are trying to help you develop that skill.
What are non screen activities you can use to occupy your time this summer? Things that will make you into a smarter, well rounded person? Maybe it's time to try reading some novels, or taking up knitting or jogging or baking or some other type of hobby you have always wanted to try? Or you could even try to get a summer job?
4 hours is a LOT of time to be in front of a screen daily.
I think limiting it is kind of a power trip thing to do, but a limit of 4 hours is so much time that unless you actually need the limit, you'll never notice it
Do you have a history of addiction to phone? Definition is NOT how long you stay on; it's rather you can stop when you want to. If you had tendency for addiction then screentime is reasonable
We don’t limit our kids’ screen time. As long as they do their chores, keep their grades up, and are around for dinner with the family, I don’t really care. As for bedtime, since it’s summer, we pushed it up to 11pm. They still need to get some sleep and be sort of on track sleep wise when summer is over
I didn't have a phone until I was 17 and I feel like my brain rot has increased dramatically since then.
Its ok to use technology, but it shouldn't rule your life.
Go outside and find a nice stick to smack the heads off of dandelions, pretend you're beheading an army as an all powerful giant 💪🙏
Trust me, it's actually normal and fun to have an imagination, you're never too old.
Find peace in observing nature, take time to think and develop your brain more, etc.
There's alot you can do without a screen.
To be honest, I used to go to keg parties at the beach at 16. But sometimes my Mom would lock me out of the house, so it’s a good idea to plan ahead and have a place to sleep
10:30 pm is a reasonable bedtime, but you should be able to negotiate a later time, especially if you're in bed reading.
Screen time is trickier. Doom scrolling is a waste of time. Looking at your phone to choose what to listen to next on spotify is a variable time period. Sometimes you need a few hours on a pc to research a project.
Projects are something you should be doing. Learn an art or craft, make a costume, learn how to cook, learn how to grow veggies. At 16 you should have creative pursuits that will benefit you later in life, and in this modern age, they may need a bit of screen time to learn more.
If you don't live somewhere walkable, screen time can also be socialising time. If you can't just walk to a park to meet up with friends, you're gonna have to use your phone to chat with them.
Their parent made a post on the same account.
The 4 hour thing is fine.
The big concern is that they turn it completely off when out of the house which is honestly dangerous if they get into a bad situation and have a phone that won't work or if they need to tell their parents something. Debate that part.
If you're out of the house you should at the very least have access to text and calls
At that age I didn't have screen time at all and found other ways to entertain ourselves. I became a father haha.
Maybe that's an argument for you, you could be home sitting like a zombie in front of a screen on the path to developing a deeply disturbing screen addiction that will impede you from functioning as a normal member of society and you'll end up living with your parents well beyond your 30s OR you could be out discovering your changing bodies with your peers and possibly start family planning.
I’m 27 and I have screen time limits on my devices, because I know that the YouTube/TikTok/Reddit/Instagram content recommendation algorithms are all designed to maximize the time I spend scrolling through those sites and make it so I don’t get bored and go touch grass. I think limiting screen time is probably a good idea.
On the other hand, this is different because it’s a limit that is imposed from outside by an authority that might not know or put real effort into knowing how you use your devices. My screen time limits affect me in ways that support my goal of limiting endless scrolling, but do not affect me otherwise. I can do things like put in an exception for GroupMe, Discord, Signal, and Messenger so that running out of screen time doesn’t render me unreachable to my friends. If I spent an hour on TikTok and suddenly couldn’t talk to my friends anymore because I exhausted my screen time limit and couldn’t get around it, I’d be pissed.
I certainly had my fair share of my parents being unreasonable so I can’t guarantee this will work, but I think you’d have a better chance of reaching something that’s agreeable to both you and your parents by discussing how you interact with your device and listening to their concerns about what sorts of things they’re worried about without interfering with healthy uses for your phone.
The way you approach an argument tells the other person a lot about how they should approach it. If you have the attitude that their position is unreasonable and you just want to steamroll over it, they’ll probably try the same thing, and in this case they manage the parental controls so they’ll win because they can steamroll your argument by just ignoring it.
On the other hand, if you start with the attitude that their position exists for a reason and you’d like to understand it so that it can be changed to be better suited to its intent, you’ll likely have an easier time convincing them to listen to your position in turn, and once you’ve both listened to each other’s concerns, it’ll be easier to come up with something you can both agree to.
Philosophical arguments about whether something “should” or “should not” be basically never convince anyone of anything practical. There’s no better argument that can force them to come around by virtue of its logical soundness.
You’ll have to either figure out what they actually want and how they can get what they want without interfering with you getting what you want. When you find your wants are in conflict, go meta: why do each of you want what you want, and how can *those* wants be met without interfering with one another?
As the people that pay for your phone they can put whatever restrictions on it they wish. Try interacting with the world more. Get out of the house and explore. Find a hobby to enjoy.
Bedtimes are sucky. But during the summer all it really means is stay in your room and be quiet. You can read or save an hour of your screen time for then.
To be honest dude, I wish I spent less time on screens when I was your age and got used to exercising more and having non-digital hobbies.
A lot of people will say read a book or go for walks. But sometimes it's less common hobbies we can find peace from the world. And as you get older, that's something needed. Try to take up painting miniatures. There's a lot of tutorial videos on YouTube, but ultimately good skill comes from putting paint to plastic. Play some music while you do.
There's a lot of other hobbies that aren't as common anymore, some of them you can make decent money at by selling the finished product. As a guy myself I'd like to have taken up sewing to make cosplay stuff. Or learning to make sci-fi armor for the same reason.
Maybe take up cast modeling. Melting down old soda cans and pouring them into a mold to make a new item. Or maybe even try to take up blacksmithing if your situation allows.
But I wish I had taken up hobbies that provided me with useful skills when I was younger. I was playing videogames rather than learning from my dad and my cousin how to restore classic cars. Now I've missed the opportunity to learn from one of them, and the other is getting old enough in years it's hard for him to teach me everything. You'll hit an age where you want to have a skill like that, it's just a part of growing older
Edit: maintaining a sleep schedule is very important at any age. It goes a long ways to helping you think stable and build good habits for life. You might negotiate for it to be at 11 if it's important to you, but consider going to bed at a usual time every night and if you want more time to yourself then wake up earlier.
Take up drums or electric guitar to fill the time you aren't using your screen devices. That will give them plenty of motivation to give you more screen time.
As for a 10:30 summer bedtime, I think that it's ridiculous. When I was 16, I was working until after midnight. My daughter is 12 and in the summer, she doesn't have a bedtime. Even if she did, I haven't a clue what she's doing once I go to sleep, so a bedtime is pointless.
Having said all that, I'm not your parent and my opinion is meaningless.
It's been documented many times over that youth is losing interpersonal social skills due to excessive screen time. Further, it is documented that lack of sleep is detrimental to human health.
So, at the risk of sounding like your parents, because my kids came of age at the dawn of smartphones, *put the damn thing down & go outside.*
Binging TV or games is a great pastime. Highly recommend you do it over the next few decades, before your ability to concentrate goes to shite.
*But* obviously not every day.
These rules are reasonable but your parents should explain to you why they exist.
I think they should let you on your phone for more then 4 hours a day but cut the internet off after 4 hours because thats probaby their biggest worry. Im assmuing you have friends and family, if you arent allowed your screen how are you meant to contact anyone? its not the 80s anymore when our parents grew up, showing up unannounced isnt appreciated.
With the bed time thing, why would you want to be up later than 10:30 lol?
Tell your parents you want to at least have some form of contact with ppl during the day. weither that be to plan hangouts, or be able to text them while you're out. Im assuming no landline at your house.
Plus what about music? pictures? It should be an internet limit more then anything. try bringing that up too
i'd also recommend other hobbies. only problem with that idea is a lot of hobbies cost a lot of money. Sports? being in a team usually cost me 100 dollars. art? maybe if you just wanna doodle you can have a 50cent pencil.
If your parents arent providing any other forms of entertainment for you, then thats an issue. youre still a kid its up to them to pay for that stuff. unless you wanna get a job but i hear minimum wage isnt that great in america. If they arent providing you with things for a fulfilling hobby then why would they expect you to want to do anything other then being on your phone?
Sounds strange that they can even do that when my son turned 13 I could no longer control his phone I might can take it from him if I feel the need but I cant control what he does with it and he is 15 now and I only say something about his phone if I ask him to do something and he doesn't and won't get off the phone to do what I ask of him and as for a bed time I think 10:30 is a lil early for summer but they aren't wrong in trying to keep you on a schedule so unless you work they may see it as keeping you on a schedule but idk why some parents are so controlling and act like they don't trust their kids and that is exactly what it seems like with your parents is they don't trust you so they make you go to bed when they do and like to control what you do and don't do so maybe you should start with asking them why they don't trust you and if you know why then maybe try showing them that they can
Points to consider for your POV
1. Maybe you don’t want your screen time all at once. For example maybe you want the freedom to text your friend if you hear something interesting but because you have to choose a block of time to use your phone you aren’t able to since you can’t see the future.
2. Using it through different activities. Do you have a job? Do you volunteer? Arguably you might need your phone during those periods of time. For example I work making food at a restaurant and often use my phone as a timer.
3. What are you doing on the screen. Certain activities like playing music while you do something else arguably shouldn’t count. I’m an artist and often use my phone to listen to music as well as reference images. Yes technically it’s on for five hours while I paint, but it’s not like I’m scrolling for five hours.
Points to consider for their POV
1. If you are just on social media studies show too much time focused on that can have severely negative effects on your mental health. They are probably concerned about your development and well being.
2. Maybe they want to encourage you to have different interests outside of the phone.
3. Maybe that reflects their own personal experience, they were your age at one point and aren’t completely ignorant.
I didn’t have 4 hours a day to stare at a screen at that age. I was working, and when I wasn’t working I was hanging out with friends. You need to find something to do. You lay not realize this, but you’re still a kid. Go outside and get that pre diabetic body moving! Play with friends! Earn some money! Make a life!
I mean you are a bit old for it to be imposed, but that's because you should have the discipline to not be on it more than that by yourself. They are right about how much time you should be using it, just wrong that they should be the ones making you do so.
If you find some things you like to do that don't require screens, you'll find you won't be using those four hours.
Make a decision to change and adapt to your circumstance. You can overcome those feelings of anger and make something better.
imo, you definitely shouldn't have a bedtime especially in the summer holidays, and a 4 hour screen time could mayyybe be acceptable but a 5/6 hour screentime would be better. i wouldnt straight up ask for no screentime because parents are always like 'oh, well, the phones these days cause so many problems' it isn't worth arguing for it gone, just try and extend it. as for the bedtime, you could make some arguments like 'i'm 16 now, i can fix my schedule by the time i get back to school' or 'i'm learning to be more independent'
i hope this helped even just a little
Do parents of children actually say this? Most of us with children in the early to mid teens are adults who spent at least a part of their youth with smart phones. I'm in my late 30s with a 14 year old, and my first smart phone was in my adult teens/early 20s so it's not like it's new technology for us millennial parents. It wasn't that long ago when we were "young"
To be fair, a lot of the societal issues we have today can in fact be attributed to smart phones.
Geez some people are being a little harsh! I’d be super super annoyed if I only had my phone four hours a day. I just want to validate that.
At the same time, I’ll, more gently than others have said, tell you I don’t think you should argue with them. It might not feel like the right decision, and it’s not what I do with my teenage kid, but they’re trying to en still sole form of habit/lesson/experience in you. And they’re almost certainly doing it out of love and affection for you.
I’d deal with it, and make a genuine effort to find ways to tolerate it. The mention of other hobbies is a good one. And I’d consistently mention (weekly) that you still would like more screen time. And maybe they’ll change their minds, maybe they won’t.
If you *really* want to argue with them, and I’m not recommending this, but if it’s really important to you: ask them kindly, calmly, respectfully to have a genuine conversation with you about why they want to limit screen time. Say you’re committed to making adjustments in your life for more screen time if that’s what it takes. If they say they worry you aren’t reading enough books, offer to read x amount of books in exchange for more screen time. (And be respectful-don’t lie about having read them, actually read them.) if they worry about you not connecting with nature, tell them you’re willing to try hiking/kayaking/take the dog for a walk etc to show you’re committed to intentionally experiencing nature. If they’re worried about internet creeps, offer to allow for more parental controls on your socials. Etc.
But mostly I recommend just putting the phone down when they ask. It’s annoying, but they’re trying to love you.
I get good grades in school (A's and B's) and I'm on my phone for like 13 hours a day. Also im introverted so I don't really want to "go outside" because its simply not fun and uncomfortable.
tbh youre young and its summer you should really be allowed to enjoy yourself. Lots of people talking about a summer job and all but youre only ever young once. When you get older you're not really gonna get breaks like that where you can just enjoy yourself for such a long period and stay up. I know I look back fondly on the times i had with friends during my summer holidays at 16 and staying up late. But the responsible side of me says you probably shouldnt ruin your sleep schedule and you probably shouldnt be using your phone for more than 4 hours a day anyway
Sounds like I’m an outlier, but to me, without knowing all the circumstances, a bed time and screen time limit does seem silly for a 16 year old during the summer. 16, you’re old enough to get a driver’s license (assuming this is the US, not sure about other countries), and you’re a mere 24 months from being able to do whatever the hell you want. To me, I think (within reason/circumstances), teens of your age should be able to make decisions like this for themselves. Reasoning being, adulthood hits so many like a ton of bricks if you’ve never had the freedom to act independently.
Just my perspective. You are young, but if you’re a responsible 16 y/o, you should be given a decent amount of freedom.
Problem is that teenagers and even adults up to a certain age have underdeveloped emotional and mental maturity. Many teens unrestricted will totally spend their entire waking day playing video games or playing on their phones. Fine once in a whole but kids will be kids and often don't know how to limit themselves in a healthy manner. Which is why they're under our influence until at least 18
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As a contentious adult, do you have other things to do other than the screentime? It's not always the issue with the amount of screen time as it is with what else you have to do. Do you read, exercise, play sports, an instrument, a band, or do you volunteer? Do you make art or knit? You and your parents need other ways to engage you, if that's taken care of screentime is ancillary to me. The problem with screens is people think they dominate your life, but it's all a balance.
This 100%, I’m an avid crocheter and of course, to make the things I want, I need access to screens. I’m often crocheting for hours and just briefly glancing at my device for instructions but often keeping the tab open in front of me for hours. Sometimes I’m making designs too for the projects. So I can definitely understand in that sense it would be annoying for me, but I would easily be able to work around it with a pen and paper/printing if I really had to. Ultimately, my point here is that if you have a hobby or two you really enjoy that is teaching you practical, tangible skills, then i’d bet the screen-time restrictions would go away. I’m an older Gen-Z, so smartphones/tablets weren’t super common (for kids at least) to have until I was probably around 14. And I honestly wish I would’ve had more encouragement from my parents to explore hobby interests because I definitely spent way too much time on screens as a young teen without any restrictions. 4 hours a day is plenty, especially considering you said they’re taking your phone and not things like TV away.
This this this. When I go into hobby mode, my phone is only used for background music or podcasts and occasionally messaging friends back and forth. And this can sustain me ALL DAY. Technically my screen time is sky high due to my phone always being open on YouTube or my friends dms lol. If I didn’t have hobby time I’d be even more of a useless phone addict and if you took away my phone I wouldn’t have much to do with myself.
Life is alot more than phone time. Gaming, art, sports, reading , etc… many hobbies exists. It sounds boring but if you find one you love, you’ll thank us later. The worst is to be at 35 years old, not knowing yourself, doing phone time whenever you have a day off because you dont know what else to do.
Gaming is screen time.
Gaming is very different than doom scrolling on your phone trying to get another hit of dopamine.
Yeah as someone who grew up with a ds but not a phone, can confirm the dopamine hits from a ds vs social media scrolling are insanely different. Phones ruined my attention span more than video games ever could. Endless scrolling vs the inherent time control over having multiple levels or story beats is a crazy different understanding of time. Not saying gaming all day is healthy either but ngl it feels better than scrolling
Sure but OP said the 4hr limit is on their phone.
Gaming is pretty different. If they're on their phone a lot it would likely be on social media. Social media overuse can have negative effects on mental health. Gaming is different however, it's a lot more of an entertainment form and is known to help mental health (in most cases)
Gaming is also engaging in art, despite what boomers say.
This, this and a 1000 times this, it's so important to try things out and find something you're good at, instead of just watching other people be good at them on a phone
As a 19 year old, I wish my parents better taught me to regulate my screen time. I know it might not seem like it now, but they're doing you a favor. 4 hours screen time on phones is plenty one needs.
This is not teaching the child to regulate themselves in anyway. This is regulating the child yes but its absolutely does not teach the child to do this themselves. Its at best a bandaid for internal bleeding. Asking the child what they want, why they want it, and discussing if there is a more appropriate or productive way to fulfill the desire would teach them to think critically and self regulate. I would have hated being so dramatically limited and absolutely would have grown to resent anyone trying to enforce stupid rules like this. I get wanting your child to be self sufficient without their screens but you must instill these values without brute force or they will only listen to your rules when you will find out about it and i promise there will be a lot of times the parents dont find out.
I agree with these points but I don't think 4 hours of screen time reaches into the territory of "I need to find a way to circumvent this", it's not even much of an inconvenience if you play your cards right.
I actually mostly agree with this. If a 16 year old needs to be told 4 hours of screen time only because they struggle with it, parents should be looking into why they struggle with it and putting in the effort to foster hobbies instead of relying solely on limiting screen time to do their job for them and pretend it’s done. Otherwise the kids just gonna grow up craving screen time and despising the idea of screen time limits. At least, at 16. Younger kids really really need more screen time limits so their brain doesn’t literally melt lol
I would try to consider where your parents are coming from and try to understand their perspective. That's generally a good idea for most arguments as a lot of people argue back and forth without listening to the other person to hear what they're saying. But for screen time they're concerned you're going to spend all your time looking at screens and not engaging with other things in the world. And probably concerned that'll be a tough habit to break and will consume more and more of your life. And as an adult who works a lot on a computer and then goes home and spends a fair amount of time on a computer, it's not a totally unfounded idea. And a good idea to try to reduce screen time to not go too far. If you want them to bend on that I might offer a compromise. Maybe instead of 4 hours per day you could agree to 28 hours a week so you had more flexibility but you'd have to be responsible to manage that time to not use it all up too fast. Or maybe trying to engage more with things outside of screens? See if you can find a middle ground there that they'll be more likely to accept than just getting rid of the rule. With the bedtime, there are some legitimate reasons for that too. Teenagers are very often getting too little sleep and you're at an age where your body needs more sleep. You are free to sleep in over the summer, but that'll also make it tougher for you to adjust back to a school schedule and to adjust if you have anything that you need to be up earlier for. Though with both the bed time and the screens, I think the best argument is that you are 16, you are a few years away from being an adult able to make all these choices for yourself. And the best way to prepare you to make all of those adult choices is to practice being able to make those kinds of choices for yourself. But if you want to make that argument that you're almost an adult you do have to act like it. When you present this to them try to do it in a cool and calm way being very reasonable, listen to their arguments. Suggest a compromise. Perhaps you try moving the bedtime back for a week, or removing it for a week so you can choose for yourself, and you try not to abuse that power too much. Or come at it with a question like what can I do to prove to you that I'm mature enough to handle not having a bedtime? No guarantees of course, but the more you can be mature and reasonable and seem like an adult, and the more you can listen to them, the more likely they are to return that.
Yes. You're a child. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. Legally. Developmentally. Your brain isn't even fully formed. Staring at tech all day is objectively bad for your health and going to bed at a reasonable hour is objectively good for it. 4 hours is a full 1/4 of your time awake. Put the phone down and find other ways to spend your time. Go outside. Read a book. Pick up a hobby. Do something active. Get a job. Jesus... I sound like my father. I digress. Advice on what to say is pretty easy: say okay. Your parents are trying to keep you healthy. Stop making that harder than it needs to be by fighting them on very lenient limits.
This little device in my hand does a lot of jobs. Personal television. Communication device. Camera. Music source. Gaming device. Calculator. Research assistant. Library. Screen time is a worthless term. When I was a kid, the emphasis was on limiting television time. A television did one thing, though there were different types of content but was mostly just entertainment. A kid can use up an hour of screen time playing music while cleaning their room or doing chores.
Yes, thank you, I know what a smartphone is. If music streaming is using a significant amount of screentime both iOS & Android have built in settings to exclude selected apps from the limit. It's very easy to set up.
I feel like 4 hours of screen time a day is plenty. It’ll give you some fun & keep your brain healthy. Get some books if you can’t sleep at night. Or knit. Or clay. Or draw. Or write.
No it is not, if I had less than 10 hours I would die, I literally feel so uncomfortable
😂 you’re going to have to work on that, my friend.
Maybe use your time more productively. Like getting a summer job. Or get outside and go hiking. Your parents be doing you a favor. Don't become addicted to screen time. Life is too Short to waste. You're missing out.
So true. And the time that you waste today is never going to come back. Make as many memories as possible. So when you look back, you will have so many things to cherish ❤️
The screen time is reasonable. You have so many other fun things to be doing. The bedtime is a bit crazy for summer imo but not out of line
As the father of a 15 year old son I can say this; He limits him self to 3 hours of screen time per day. He has done this for his mental health after he wend 2 weeks without his phone, again self imposed. Although he does not have a bed time during the summer he generally goes to bed at 10/1030.
As a former 15 year old boy, voluntarily going to bed at 10/1030 is not normal. I can assure you, he is not going to sleep.
As a chronically online phone addicted 21 year old i really wish my screen time had been limited as a kid, 16 might be a little old for them to be doing that idk but having limited screen time is definitely not the worst thing
Honestly if I had my screentime restricted now I would die lol, I'm on my phone like 13 to 16 hours a day and can't imagine what else id be doing
That's so sad. I'm sorry that's your experience.
Your parents have their reasons. It's about forcing you to do more stuff. Consider a job. You'll be too busy for screens.
Show them signs of maturity, by getting a summer job.
I agree with the screen time. Phones can be a black hole of unproductive negativity. Bedtime though is odd. Maybe your parents want some alone time? Tell them that they won’t see after 10:30 and see how that goes.
I had a bed time the whole time I lived at home and hated it. Now I stay up way too late constantly. No idea if they’re related
this is less based on upbringing and more based on your own personal body rhythms. I haven't had a bed time since I was in middle school, but 15 years later, going to be early for me is 1.00am. that being said, I work on west coast time and live on the east coast so my whole day is 3 hours behind everyone else around me. the big boon is that I have always been far more awake and productive during those hours when everyone else has long retired for the night and are long abed.
Next post from this dude after getting his bed time removed is gonna be one complaining that "at 11pm every night he can hear his parents having loud raunchy love making from their room and it's extremely inconsiderate, why can't they wait until I go to sleep first?" A post I see on here more than a few times lmfao.
Lmao. This was my 1st thought about the “bedtime “. My wife and I put the kids to bed earlier when we want to have a few drinks and get down. If not they can stay up and hang out with us. Mine are 10 and 12 though.
The kid may be dutifully going to bed at the appointed hour but I guarantee he ain't going to sleep. If his parents believe that he is, they are completely forgetting their own teen years.
If you are in the US your parents are well within their legal bounds to reduce screen time, especially if they are funding the device. It sucks but it’s true. I am 30 and my parents did the same thing to me as a kid, but more with TV/computer as smartphones were only just really starting. Also, for reference, my screen time allowance was 30 minutes a day, hahaha But looking back I will say that I am thankful to my parents because I have a lot of great memories of being young and hanging out with my buddies outside The best way to overcome this is actually not to fight them on it, but to essentially embrace it. Do something creative with your extra time. Write a book, paint, go outside and play ball, connect with people in real life as much as possible. I know that’s not want to hear, but this doesn’t have to be bad if you “make it your own”. The more you fight them on this, the more you will feel annoyed by it.
4 hours a day is a lot. Like a lot. Go outside. Damn man, go make some friends. Talk to people. Go fishing. Ride a bike. Enjoy the freedom that summer offers. Find stuff to do. Go to the pool.
Might be kinda late depending on where OP lives but a summer job is always a good choice too!
Being a minor is hard because you really are at your parents whims and rules If you want to present something you should pratice, if you want to debate be ready to have something to say to everything in response, if you want an argument then you already lost and they will just lord over you
4 hours is high, they're doing you a favour whether you see it or not. The bedtime is debatable, but its encouraging you to get healthy sleep and grow properly, something I did not do because I didn't have such restraints. You'll thank them in the long run.
Maybe tell them you’ll use your extra screentime to study online
They should cut it back to 3. 4 hours per day staring into a screen at 16 is insane. Like you said, it's summer and your 16. Go out and have fun, with people, at places, and do things. Also your a minor, respect your parents choices. They know more than you do. Screentime is directly related to depression and anxiety. Do you even pay the bill either? Or is it their phone, in their names, that they pay for?
I had 16 hours a day at 16 lol and I wasn't depressed or anxious
As a fully grown man who limits his screen time, I'd say go along with it. These devices we stare at, aren't good for us, on many different levels. By all means enjoy some screen time but have other things going on in your life, like a physical hobby, drawing, painting, hiking, whatever. Just something not on a screen.
Maybe read a book or learn something new. Countless generations survived without screens and did just fine. Take this time to fine tune your personality. Get to know yourself so you aren’t floating aimlessly like most teens who feel lost after school. Your parents aren’t trying to punish you or ruin your life. They want you to be productive outside of a screen.
No shit but maybe he doesn't want to go outside and just wants to chill at home
Um, then stay inside like a bump on a log for all I care. Tf
The 10:30 is a bit odd but 4 hours Screen Time! Thats more then enough you shouldn't be on your phone longer then 2-3 hours
I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there and it’s super frustrating when your parents want to control you but trust me in a couple of years you will the one putting screen time limits for yourself😂 The amount of time we spend on our phones is crazy. Maybe try the forest app or something similar so it feels more like your choice to put down your phone and not something your parents told you to do.
4 hours is a lot my screen time used to be 30 minutes a day lol
you got 30? I got 15-20 lol
what the hell did you even do in 20 minutes lol thats how long it takes to load up the game.
in my 30 minutes i was allowed to text my friends and that’s it so no games😭
I was allowed to use my phone as much as I wanted (within reason) but it’s because flip phones were still a thing in my teens and I couldn’t do much else besides text and call people and play that snake game.
Literally one round of w/e and I had to choose quickly. This was back in Ps1, sega Dreamcast days which had even longer load times I believe.
I think it’s fine. But a bedtime at 16 during the summer is ridiculous.
They are doing you a huge favor! You won’t be missing anything, you’ll be gaining peace of mind and your future self will be grateful. Use the screen time to inspire activities and conversations in the real world! The best thing you can do is harness the fact that you can have the best of both worlds but not too much of either. There will be a time (you’re so close!) when you’ll have your freedom and luckily you might not have to spend that freedom being chronically online.
As for screen time, 4 hours is insane. Nobody needs to be on a screen for that long, unless they've got a job that requires it. There are better things to do with your time. As for bedtime, 10:30 maybe seems early, but — it kind of makes sense to keep your sleep schedule roughly in line with that of the rest of the family, if possible. That way your meal schedule is aligned as well, and you're not up all night making noise doing whatever and keeping people awake. But, if it were up to me, I'd say — as long as you can be up by 8 or 9 or whatever, just call 10:30 wind-down time, and you can read/write, draw, whatever is quiet and in your own room/space.
You are not thinking about the vast of things people do with their phones/tablets. I use mine 2-4 hours a day just to play music. I read e-books on my tablet ( I prefer paper books but Amazon has a wide variety of public domain classics for free). I use my phone for research, tasks, entertainment, keeping track of finances, paying bills, and a plethora of other things, such as learning the definition of "plethora".
Your parents house your parents rules, real simple. They are probably paying the bills, and they are probably in charge of your security as well. Want to argue against them? Tell them you want a job, and that you want to pay your way going forward.
I don't think it's a bad thing for them to monitor your screentime. However, having a hard limit at your age might not be the best option. If I were you, I would try to find something useful you can use your screen for, then petition your parents to let you go beyond that 4 hr limit. For example, learning to paint something from a video, learning how to code, learning another language, looking for summer jobs, etc. If that doesn't work, use your screentime wisely. I.e., maybe exercise before getting on your phone, take a break every hour, watch a movie or play a videogame (since you mentioned only your phone screentime is limited) instead of using your phone, find a hobby that takes you away from the screen, etc. At the end of the day, they have your best interest at heart. It might be annoying, but I certainly don't think their actions will harm you in any way. Want evidence? Just look at the millions of posts, the research papers, etc. on the effects of excessive screentime and how many adults, yes adults, are struggling with an addiction to their phones.
Sorry OP you're not getting the responses you probably hoped for but their right. One time my mom gave me a 30 minutes a day of screentime. 4 hours is more than enough. 10:30 isn't that early of a bed time either. I know it feels like you're old enough to be in charge of yourself but you're still young, thats just the way it is. I recommend getting a job or going out, don't waste your whole summer playing video games all day. Thats probably why your parents gave you a screen time in the first place.
At 16 I could enforce when I went to bed and still get enough sleep, get good grades in school, manage my friends and I had like 8+ hours of screentime per day, idk about you
My 16 has a screen time limit as well. Hers is slightly less than yours. During the summer it is increased as long as she competes her daily chores. When school starts up it goes back. As a minor in the house who doesn’t pay any bills she is in no position to make demands. If she needs more time for something she can make a request and my wife or I will grant it if it’s for a good reason. My 18 and 22 year olds who are still at home do not because they pay for their own phones and service as well contribute towards things for the house. My oldest (22) is currently saving to buy our house when we move south in two years.
by screen time are you talking about phone-use only or everything that contains a screen. If its the latter, 4 hours is nowhere near enough, your daughter is probably miserable. If its the former then yeah that's reasonable.
Phone time specifically. Although she doesn’t really watch tv which isn’t specifically regulated.
You are lucky to have your parents. Your brain needs to be engaged differently.
Yeah you don’t need a bedtime, as long as lack of sleep isn’t affecting you badly at all. You’re old enough to go to bed when you want. For the screen time, 4 hours should probably be enough, if you’re doing things outside of your phone which you really should be.
Screen time limits are necessary for 16 year olds. A 1030 bedtime is too early. Midnight would be better. Earnestly look for a job. I bet if you got one, they might ease up a bit.
Finally a reasonable person holy crap it took like 15 minutes of searching.
Bedtime of 10:30 for a 16 yr old is pretty wack tbh. Screentime limit is legit tho, honestly fuck phones
If 4 hours a day is not enough---whats an ideal amount of screen time for you everyday?
As a 30-something I wish so bad that someone would limit my screentime like that.
To me the screen time makes more sense than the bed time
Dad of a 16 year old here. Guess how much screen time my kid gets… 4 hours during the summer days. Go outside!
Time for a job.
I should have screen time at 39. So probably.
That bedtime seems early but 4 hours a day on your phone is ridiculous. Get a hobby
First, you are only 16 and still a child. So your parents are looking out for you. Second, four hours of screentime should be more than enough time. Especially considering that I would assume you are looking for a summertime job now. 10:30 is a little harsh, but not if you are getting up at 6:30 in the morning. Some of this is a little strict but none of it is unreasonable. In two years, you can move out (good reason to get a job mow) and then make your own rules
Honestly. When you turn 18 and pay your own cell phone bill, then it's wrong. Otherwise, their money, their rules.
"Their money, their rules" is a generalization, and it's a slippery slope to the acceptance of unacceptable situations.
4 hours of screentime a day is not an unacceptable situation. Id say unacceptable is like 17+
My husband and I swapped passwords and have screen limits of 2hrs a day. That’s plenty for texting friends, a little doomscrolling, googling occasionally. What do you need more then 4 hrs a day of phone time for?
you're 16 and live under their roof, they pay for your phone your room and board. They get to make the rules. If you want to be convincing you need to show them you hear and understand their concerns but point out something they over looked. As others have mentioned ensuring you have balanced and you aren't just going to go phone time all the time is a good way to help try and convince them, but honestly I would say something more along the lines of "in the modern world people are expected to have access to a phone at all times, while this is a privilege to have at a young age, the ability to familiarize myself with, and use this technology to it's upmost will be important for my development not only socially, but professionally as well." then commit to what ever plan they may want to come up with to ensure you're using your phone not just for what I imagine is mindless fun.
You're a child that lives for free under your parents roof. 4 hours of screen time is a lot by any metric, Alternatively you could have 0 screen time. The average person has about 16 hours in a day where they're awake and functioning. 4 hours is a quarter of that time and probably half your free time when you factor in eating, basic hygiene like showering and brushing teeth, exercise, and chores that you should definitely have at your age. So factor all that in out of an 8 hour summer break day about half of it is screen time. I don't even get 4 hours a day and I'm a grown man with children of my own if you want some perspective. My children don't have a "screen time" but with how many other activities they have during the day, plus all the things I listed above, and the summer workbooks I give them to do to get ahead in their next year before having fun they don't have that many hours in a day to sit and stare at a screen.
Me spending 16 hours on my phone per day:
I actually think 4 hours a day is plenty of screen time and putting the phone down at bedtime will create good habits youll be thankful for in a few years when you’re in college/university or have an adult job.
I'm guessing concrete screentime/bedtime limits probably feel childish to you -- not that you necessarily want to stay up later or be on your devices more, but you want the freedom to, and the autonomy to make that decision yourself, rather than the same structures you had when you were little. If I've got that right, there's a sense in which I agree with you -- you'll be on your own in a couple of short years, and you need to learn to regulate these kinds of things yourself, without a concrete rule. I say this as a college professor who sees first year students struggle ALL THE TIME with the rules going away and no self-regulation skills to replace them with. It's a mess. But here's the rub: what you're trying to learn to do is keep your sceeentime and bedtime in healthy ranges. It's not about doing whatever you want, but choosing on your own in a way that's smart for you. If you're doing it right, you'll still be going to bed at a reasonable hour and limiting your time in your phone. Just for different reasons. Maybe you can propose to your parents that this summer is a trial period for that. The deal is, they remove the hard and fast rules, and you try to be responsible without them. Then in the last week of the summer, you sit down together and evaluate how you each think it went, and what you each learned from the experiment.
**Don't let your phone usage inhibit bigger ambitions.** Don't aimlessly scroll on Instagram, or do snapchat streaks. None of that time-wasting. I think that's the biggest issue with phone usage. Don't be using it at dinner, etc. If you're out and about, appreciate the world, don't be using that time to spend on your phone. And then in my mind isn't that where the worry stems from? For bed time, it can be argued that it's bad circadian rhythm for those your age. You should look that one up to check it though. I think 10:30 is reasonable curfew, but you said 'bed time.' I never had screen limits, I never had a bedtime within reasonable 'staying up lateness.' Ask your parents 'why?' and ask them honestly, because I'm sure their reasoning is similar.
depends on when hes waking up tbh, if its like 9am or something 10:30 is way too early. If its like 7am I guess its reasonable.
Tell your parents that the window is closing on their ability to make decisions for you and if they want you to grow up to be a healthy, independently functioning adult then they have to start cutting back. They cannot treat you at 16 how they treated you at 12. The risk is that if you don’t learn how to manage your own time and take responsibility for yourself, then you’re more likely to take bigger risks when you are an adult out of their supervision. Ask them to trust you that you’ll make good decisions about screen time and bedtime, because the day is coming soon where they can’t make them for you and it’s their job to help you prepare for that day, not put it off as long as possible.
Be thankful they allow 4 hours.
So, four hours is like 22% of your waking hours. Sounds like a good amount.
It’s hard to understand at the time, but looking back on it i wish i had spent more time outside and gone to bed earlier, so just trust that they’re trying to actually help your development and not set limits on you just because they’re big meanies.
Not sure there is an argument,.other than 4 hours seems like a long time. There is an outside, people, places, jobs....Oddly enough, you will appreciate this when you are an adult
As other's have stated on here, there's more than just screen time. You are fast approaching the prime of your social life. Get outside, go to a park, go hang out with friends, go make new friends. Be outside and take up a hobby or activity. Play some sports, go running, read books, write books, use your imagination! There is so much more to life than scrolling through tik toks all day long. If I could talk to my 16 year old self, Id say stop sitting at home all day everyday playing video games and go outside. Go hangout with other kids, make friends, hit the gym alittle. Talk to girls or something, practice your social skills / argumentative skills. If you don't know where to start, just walk around your town / find where people gather or where the hotspot is. In my town, we have kids at the local park daily playing basketball / volleyball / tennis. You're parents may seem cruel giving you this limit, but it's because they want you to develop healthy habits and improve yourself. I'm slowly learning this as I grow up too.
I wish I only spent 4 hours a day on my phone. Mindless scrolling, always being connected to social media's not a good thing. It's an honest to goodness addiction. I think 4 hours is *plenty* of time, and summer break's a good time to pick up a job and have pocket money (and an early start on work experience), or you can start picking up hobbies. Maybe you and your parents can go on some outings on the weekend? Soon, you won't even find yourself missing your phone. As for the bedtime, I totally get where you're at. I had a bedtime at that age, and I thought I was some hot shit who didn't need it. Now, my sleep schedule's shit and that can really throw off your whole rhythm during the day. There's a reason it's recommended you get 8 hours of sleep, because those 8 hours are when your body's essentially resetting itself, in that your brain processes events and memories, your cells are working hard to heal any injuries you may have - basically since your brain doesn't have to focus on piloting the body, it focuses on doing everything else. That's kinda why sometimes when you're not feeling well, you take a nap and wake up feeling a bit better. And if it helps, getting a good night's rest actually helps your body burn off weight and it can improve the look of your skin. Listen, I understand your position. Feels like your parents are treating you like you're 6 when you're 16, right? But believe me, these rules can only benefit you in the long run. They're not putting them in place to be mean, but to prevent your brain from falling into bad habits that are admittedly *really* difficult to break without some significant and consistent discipline. You'll be thanking them in 10 years.
Sit them down and explain why you should have more screentime and if that doesn't work some parents apps appear on the kids' phone but only show them like the screen time they've had or the apps you can click the three dots and hit stop supervision and if you know the password to your Google account or iCloud account just put your password in it stops the supervision.
it seems like nobody is giving you the advice you want, so i will lol. (yes, people should have more to do than look at their screens. but a 16 year old with a bedtime? plus the parents seem strict so maybe they can’t get out much.) list the things that your screen time limit prevents you from doing. frame it as “parent friendly” as possible. ”i’m not allowed to watch videos” turns into “i’m missing out on free information”, etc etc. then, you’re gonna present your list to them and be prepared for follow up questions. they need to feel like they’re forcing you to miss out on something important. if that doesn’t work, complain. controlling parents hate complaining and will inevitably give up. as for the bedtime, i don’t know why they’d do that? do they go to bed early? i’d propose a “light’s out” time rather than a bed time (“i’ll just stay in my room when you guys go to bed”). maybe ask them why you have a bedtime and see if you can form an argument around their reasoning
The argument really can't come from you. Your best bet is other adults showing them how they held the consequences of extreme rules against their parents. Could start a business and argue that lack of access is hurting your productivity (ideally by being so productive it's true). Or hey get a job and buy a second phone. On the bedtime, it really is true that sunlight signals the bodies circadian rhythm or whatever, and not letting your sleep schedule slip just because its a holiday will help keep you healthy. If you have an older sibling, have them get a night shift job so your parents realize bed time is a construct and a regular sleep schedule can occur at any time. In fact some people even do naps with biphasic sleep. The trick though is still consistency. But these are pretty normal limits, and you're lucky they aren't the truly strict parents that are sometimes heard about. There are only two years until you have a lot more freedom. The most fruitful thing to do maybe to accept the limits at least for now and figure out how to make the most of your time until then. Like honestly this is so common, a lot of teenagers feel trapped.
I would die for 4 hours of screen time a day. Please thank them for allowing it, you are more lucky than you think
As for the 1030 bedtime - I remember my Dad saying 'nothing good happens as if 10 o'clock '! He was right - you will appreciate a bedtime/curfew! The times he let me slide proved he was right! The phone time is not that unreasonable - at 16, a job isn't out of the question. Find something fun like a skate park or movie theatre or wait tables and make your own shopping money. That'll show them you're responsible and managing your own business. They'll come around! The other posts are good advice - don't argue, discuss!!! Wishing you luck!!!
I wish my parents limited my screen time 😂
Hi, psychotherapist here-I understand that screen time feels really important and there are lots of quality research studies to say that limiting it while your brain is growing (and it still is until you turn 25!) is a positive thing and leads to healthier mental health and better cognition in adulthood. Also, the blue light is bad for sleep in that you might have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep and causes eye strain (even with night shift on). So, all that to say, your parents are trying to help you though it makes sense that it might not feel that way. There is way more to life than screens- I agree with other commenters here-have fun with IRL people, go outside, learn to make things, be active, etc . . .
Your bed time is 10:30 and you’re complaining about your parents not want you to spend the entire summer on your phone? Be lucky your parents aren’t dragging you around to work semi pro football games every weekend of the summer and have you at a bedtime of 9. My dad would ground me forget that he grounded me and then ground me again after I reminded him.
Get a summer job and stick with it. All of your restrictions will be lifted.
tldr at the bottom fellow 16 y/o here. skip to the bottom paragraph (not the tldr) if you dont want to read the stuff that makes me sound like im 40 and reminicing about my 20s. the screentime limit is only an issue if your phone is the only thing you use and your parents probably put it there to stop that. **My recommendations on what to do:** do some other time intensive things now that youve got that summer time like read (i recommend the martian by andy wehr and the hitchhikers guide to the universe series), learn a new skill (im learning fusion 360), explore outside (go to google maps, find an interesting looking patch of forest, a nearby park, or a street. hop on a bike, go there and investigate everything, shop with a cool window display, what might be a path on the edge of the forest (i found a sick dirtbike track and a community treehouse on accident like this) and you can spend a good chunk of your summer like this), grab friend and get in shape or really good at a sport, or just make stuff (go to a local woodshop ask for scraps and learn carpentry for example and maybe you can secure an intern/apprenticeship for college apps like that). this will give you an argument that you aren't wasting away on electronic devices and you can probably leverage that to get rid of the reasons to put on the screen limits. even if its not a full win you could probably leverage some stuff to go from phone limits to app limits. at the very least opt to use a laptop instead of your phone for work and lesiure. the screen is bigger, so you can fit more videos on the homescreen of youtube for more options to choose from rather than being fed one mediocre interest video at a time on mobile, better audio depth, and theres a reason why companies are trying to emulate the endless scrolling design of mobile apps on the desktop experience (think the disgusting youtube layout they're trying where the video title and comments are on the right of the video and you scroll down to find related videos), its still the same content you know but its easier to break out of so you can one meet your schedule but my favorite benefit, two its easier to stop when you are satisfied rather than going straight to the automatic scrolling action from mobile and hey, from what some people are saying, proficiency with a computer may be a rare sought after skill in the near future (intern at parent's job didn't know how to work the function keys...)! **On bedtimes:** tldr; i think wake up times are better than bedtimes. personally i think bedtimes don't do much, they're easy to circumvent, hard limits mean whatever you're doing before can be properly wrapped up in a way that allocates a smooth amount of time to bed preparations, and oversleeping is still a problem. I belive in a sleep target and enforcing a wake up time. ik its summer break and the dream is to go to sleep at midnight and wake up only in time for lunch but sleeping in is not rlly the best thing for you and theres a whole bunch of research on how waking up early, like 5-6:30 AM (around sunrise) is the best for optimal performance (humans are tuned to work the best at sunrises and sunsets, thats why sunrises are so pretty; because we literally can see colors the most vividly then, best way to cleanse adenosine (the neurochemical that makes us tired), waking with the sun times your adenosine cleanse and cortisol levels to work together rather than against eachother in the evenings), see Andrew Huberman's (neuroscientist at stanford) stuff on yt (for the western neurochemical view), Dr.K's (did his residency at harvard med school) stuff on yt (for the psychiatric more eastern view + he has vids on the science behind a bunch of other self improvement related stuff). instead of a bedtime set a bed "target" around 8-9 hours before your alarm (for me my alarm is at 6 and i sleep 7 hours 30 + 30 mins to fall asleep so 8 hours before 6 am means im lights out by 10 (usually 9:50)). show your parents the science for argument but more importantly put it into action yourself. **The advice for you personally:** set and try to abide by your own rules that exceed your parents', sleep and wake up on your own and let it be known that you are waking up earlier than your dad or that you got 8 hours of sleep at night and that you have taken the initiative and done 10 textbook pages of the math course you're taking next year. take these commitments like only watching youtube after 5pm or doing 50 pushups a day, write them down big on paper an put them up on your door or across from your desk. this way not only will your parents be unable to forget that you're making an effort, but importantly so that you never lose sight of your resolves (figuratively, but literally also applies here). Eventually you can bring up the fact that your phone limits are getting in the way of your productivity or you cant stop your strava run because after accounting for reading morning news, using your phone as a control hub for your coding project, taking digital notes on physics, and then on top of that going for a recorded run, you simply run out of time, and hopefully your parents will see that those limits are just unnecessary. if that fails, look at you, you've become less dependent on social media for satisfaction, you're more fit, skilled, know more about your area, more cleanly, and just a better person overall. **TLDR;** argue through action: do stuff other than screens for entertainment, wake up at a time early rather than sleep by xyz time, exceed what seems like a ceiling your parents put over your head and it will fall away by lack of necessity. read the advice paragraph atleast if you only read the tldr.
I think your parents are being fair with those expectations, especially the screen time. Bedtime could be a bit later for the summer, but it’s still viable.
16, not an adult using items, food, shelter you don't pay for. Don't complain
the recommendations from doctors is around that amount of time. its fine
I think you have really good parents for monitoring your screen time. That being said, this is the argument I would use… 1. I need to be able to regulate my own screen time before I “leave the nest”, so please either increase the time or let me self regulate it. This is part of becoming an adult. 2. I will be an adult soon, and need to find out how to balance screen time with other important things like school, hobbies, friends, sports, work, etc. 3. Can you make a bargain with them? For example, if I get a job working 15 hours a week this summer, can I please have more freedom for screen time?
4 hours is an enormous amount of time to be on your phone. You’ll be happy to not have a phone addiction when you’re older and have to enter the real adult world otherwise your life is going to become extremely difficult.
Yikes, you got some control freak parents i see. Welp, legally you are still their slave so there's nothing you can do for now. Just be patient till you're 18 and then stop listening to their wierd rules (except house rules). And to answer your question, more than 4 hours of screen time doesn't usually hurt anybody. Especially with the eye safety settings they have in settings.
i’m 20 years old and honestly, I wish I was on my phone less than I am right now. It definitely is something that doesn’t get talked about enough but we all have addictions to our phones now. I wonder why four hours a day is not enough for you. however, I will note that I see the value in screen time of course since a lot of our lives and social connections are online and you definitely deserve to be able to connect with people that way (maybe present this argument to them).
i would say, youre 16, still super young although you may not feel it, 2 to 3 more years before i would agree with your post on your side a bit more. they have limited screentime, ok, thats awesome, a parent activly trying to stop thier child from the brain rot that is tablets and mobile phones, youll appreciate it later in life im pretty sure. look for a hobbie, something to do to keep your mind off doing nothing, maybe thats the aim of what theyre doing. the bedtime is a little rough, but each parent each to thier own, in that case, you are 16, i think a bedtime of 11:30 wouldnt be an issue in my eyes, but there are plenty of adults that go to bed before this time so.... everyone is different and you are their child.
I may be the odd opinion out but oh well. I don’t think you’re wrong to be bugged, I also think 4 hours of screen time is good. Everyone is automatically saying “go outside, read a book, touch some grass!” When I was your age (few years ago) I didn’t have a screen time but personally I always wanted to get out of the house, and that’s just me. But also I feel like hobbies people suggest can also be related to screen time. I’m an artist, and I was at 16 too. I would use a lot of my screen time for music while painting, or reference images for drawings or paintings. So at your age my screen time would be high but not always because I was actively using my phone. If you have a hobby that involves your phone you could advocate for that. But a limited screen time isn’t all bad, your parents don’t want you addicted to it, it’s understandable. Unfortunately since you’re sixteen you are kinda stuck with the rules but summer is the perfect time to just have fun and chill out with friends. Also the suggestion of finding a summer job is slightly unrealistic because the job market in the US is a mess (if you live in the states) But have fun, it sucks right now. But it’ll get better.
Honestly, screentime would be a lot more helpful to you than harmful. You don't need to scroll on your phone all day, consuming brainrot and fucking up your attention span. You should try to go out more, get a hobby, read books, etc etc
This is actually a great system your parents concocted because you can game it. You tell them that you accept these 4 hours / day restrictions, but any time they ask you to do something for them, like mow the lawn or whatever, you just tell them... "Sure, I'll mow the lawn, in exchange for 1 additional screen time hour per day credit this week." If they refuse, you tell them "no deal!". If they agree, you just essentially bought yourself an extra 7 hours of screen time for a chore that you likely would of have had to do regardless.
My kids would have never done that to me because they knew if they did, they’d probably end up with less time and more chores. I don’t negotiate with little terrorists! 😆
4 hours of screen time is plenty as a kid. You should have much more you can do. The other side of that coin is that your parents have to be willing to drive you to those things, or buy you a car. As for bedtime, that’s strange to me, especially in the summer. When I was 16 my normal sleep rhythm was 2am to 11am. Trying to go to bed earlier did nothing. That being said I am a morning person now, up by 8am even after a night at the bars. You could probably find some scientific studies on sleep schedules and circadian rhythms in teens. That may help. Your parents may also be worried about their ability to get adequate sleep, maybe talk about ways to limit your noise after certain hours.
They are doing you a favor. Don't end up like that guy on fb that makes everything political because he lives on Facebook for 10 plus hours a day it will melt your young mind and it will make you miserable. Just deal with it until you're 18 get a job and get your own phone and plan. It's a lot I know but try to see the silver lining. If youre dead set on getting more screen time just tell them you're almost an adult and need to start walking on your own 2 feet. They may not change their mind but everyone has to start making decisions for themselves at somepoint.
In my experience there are three kinds of strict parents; the vengeful, the visionary, and the high achieving. Vengeful parents are angry at you for whatever reason and won't let you have fun because of it; you can't convince them, wait it out. High achieving is what it sounds like; you can't do anything if it's not useful. You might be able to buy privileges in exchange for being extremely productive 90% of the time. Depending on the parent in question you might have to get a job or take up a sport. It's almost a numbers game; x amount of effort for x amount of cooldown. Visionaries are those parents that are obsessed with image or tradition, or were raised in a specific way. They have a very narrow idea of what they want their life to be and what is acceptable. There are certain things they will never compromise on, and there's a good chance you can't negotiate with them. If you give them what they want it's because thats how things are the supposed to be, don't do what they want you're being a problem. There's no easy way to change their minds but if you stay on their good side and very slowly pull at the leash you'll end up closer to what you want.
Hey friend. Your parents care about you. Did you know that studies have shown screen time is addictive? It messes up the dopamine (the happy I wanna do stuff chemical) in your brain and then you feel anxious whenever you are not attached to the screen. If you need more than four hours you already have an issue. Can you find other hobbies? Do you do anything but sit on your phone or game system? Pick up a book, go for a walk, find a sport to play. Go to the park with your friends and touch grass. I wouldn’t push both of these things. Focus on the bed time you aren’t getting good sleep if you just lay there and your not tired. The. Find something fun to do offline. Anything. Play a board game or go to the mall with your friends. Don’t be a phone zombie. Four hours is enough.
4 hours is honestly fine, I'd suggest you try and find other things to do for the rest of the day. It'll suck at first, but eventually you won't even think about it anymore, and you'll have a more fulfilled life as a result. Maybe take the time to learn some coding or something
Put down the phone and go outside head to the beach play sports walk in the bush trust me you want to make friends and be active while young because when you get old like me you won't be in so much pain and will have a social life
I think this stems from a legitimate concern - parents (and society in general) have real reasons to believe that too much screen time affects mood, attention span, sleep regulation, etc. That being said, as others have mentioned it's important that you have the opportunity to learn to self regulate, because your parents won't always be there to manage your screen time, or your bed time, and if their oversight becomes a crutch of sorts it could make your life harder in the long run. Just my suggestion, but I'd talk to them about trial runs where they give you more autonomy over your screen time. Perhaps instead of 4 hrs/night you get a weekly screen time allotment for 28 hrs, and it's your responsibility to use it as you see fit. Or, perhaps you agree to track your screen time for some length of time (like a month) as a way to show you can responsibly manage it without dropping other responsibilities and maintaining other healthy activities outside of screens/electronics. I don't know your exact circumstances, so I can't tell you how much time on a screen is "right" (I mean, someone who's interested in being a gardener probably needs less screen time than an aspiring music producer), but I think instead of framing it as "my parents want me to spend X time on screens and I think that's unfair" you should approach it as "how can I develop my own autonomy while respecting my parents overall goal of teaching me solid life skills like self regulation" I hope this helps!
Parents are doing you a solid and you don’t even realize it
Four hours of daily screen time is a good restriction, if it's social media. If it's also show and movies, that seems severe. Can you just go to a friend's house and watch stuff together? However, what else are you doing this summer? Are you going to a camp or activities? Getting a job? Joining a debate club to home your argument skills? As a night owl, I wouldn't have appreciated the curfew, especially over summer break. I snuck out my window a lot as a teen. I'm not suggesting you do the same…
As a 16 year old who will sit in my room doing nothing without even realizing it. I feel 4 hours is great. Also sleep is really important. I have a hard time going to bed at 10:30 which is what I try to set myself to.
Honestly, get a job. you won't notice not having your phone and a lot of customer service jobs this time of year will keep you to or past 10:30. And for the bed time, are your parents aggressively enforcing it, or do you just have to be in your room? At 30 I already start winding down my day around 10.30. then I usually sit up for another hour or two reading. Granted, my wind-down is an hour workout and a nice hot shower, but the point still remains.
So I'm an adult but this popped up on my home page. The bedtime is one thing and does seem a little strict, but not insane. It's not like you really have to go to sleep at that time anyway, just take it as an opportunity to quietly read in peace. Reading is also the BEST pre-sleep activity, trust me. Screens before bed is really bad for the brain. Which brings me to your screen-time. What do you use your phone for? In theory it should be for communicating with your friends and maybe doing research about your hobbies., and not much else. You don't understand this because you're young, but limiting access to screens is GOOD PARENTING. They clearly care a lot about you, and that's something to be thankful for. Scrolling literally does rot your brain. I mean it actually markedly makes a difference to your cognition. It's a very real problem. Using screens late at night is also bad for you. Much of the content online is bad for you (so much fucking negativity, pessimism, and pettiness on Reddit...) I think 4 hours of social media is about 3.5 hours too much. If you really want access to your phone more, just arrange to meet up with your friends, and say you're taking the phone with you in case of emergencies. You won't be using it while you're talking to your friends anyway (and you shouldn't, it's disrespectful), but just having it in your pocket while you're out-and-about might help you claim a bit of independence.
4 hours on your phone is too much in my opinion.
Honestly in hindsight I wish my mom had set more boundaries like these when I was 16. I didn’t get into a bunch of trouble or anything, but I just did nothing of value with big stretches of time in the summer and I built a lot of bad unhealthy habits.
Your parents are right, you don’t need more than 4 hours a day of screen time. Go outside and get some hobbies
What you do with the screen time could be part of your argument
The screen time limit makes sense but the bedtime is pretty weird, in the middle of summer. If you're looking for a good argument for the screen, then offer to pay a portion of the bill: then you have a right to determine use. The bedtime one is just absurd. Wanting you home by 10:30 makes sense, but actually in bed? My toddler goes to bed at 9pm.
Okay, while everyone does have some interesting points about limiting screentime, I'm gonna address the arguments part. Approaching the subject of any rules/expectations your parents have from you can be difficult, and the outcome will rely partially on who your parents are and your relationship with them. If you feel comfortable sitting down and having an open discussion with them, it might not be a bad idea. Even if you're not fond of their rules, make sure you open with empathy. For my parents, the key phrase was "I love you and respect you, I want to understand this expectation you have for me". Talking about what they wanted for me and giving my own perspective without getting defensive helped a lot. I cant guarantee you'll get everything you want, but it may help to form compromises. If there are specific reasons why you would like more screentime and where you think it may benefit you more, then have that list prepared (a note card or two doesn't hurt).
I think 4 hours a day is quite generous. I didn’t grow up with a cell phone. And you’ll be 18 soon and can do whatever you want…as long as you can pay the bill
Planet Fitness has a free membership for teens all summer. It takes about 10 minutes to set up. https://www.planetfitness.com/summerpass
Maybe you should figure out things to do with your life besides staring at your phone. Play sports. Hang out with friends. Learn a musical instrument. Read. Work out. Make art. Live a life that your kids will be envious of.
4 hours screen time is plenty. 1030 summer bedtime for your 16 year old is how you create a party animal. Some good, some stupid - pretty typical parents.
You’re 16 and it’s summer, go hang out with your friends. Go to an amusement park, go to the beach, have sleepovers and watch dumb movies. Have a cool off. Go to the gym or the park. Screen time is something a lot of people need. We’re all on our devices way too much. There’s absolutely other things you can do to not be bored AND healthily engage your mind
Hi! I'm 17 so not much older than you and I had the same issue with my parents :( I used to complain a-lot and get mad at them for it. They completely removed screen time, I met someone online, spent all my time talking to them and they absolutely ruined my life! After that I got so scared of using my phone I just stopped and I finally understood why parents insist so much on screen time and their children not using their phones so much. So I know this might be super annoying for you to hear right now but try to learn to let go. Have some fun outside, go for walks, spend some time with your family, find a nice little job, get some money to spend on things that make you happy. I promise you'll realize how delightful it is to be alive. And your parents will most definitely let go of that whole screen time thing after that cause they'll see the improvement. so yes just take care of yourself and no matter what happens, if they take it off or not, just try to make the most of what you have. :]
I know it's tough to hear but I'm with your parents on this one. Phones are so addictive and I applaud them for limiting your time. It's important to find other things to occupy your time with. It's summer break! 🥳 go have fun! Enjoy life! Start up a new hobby! What's something you've always wanted to try or learn how to do? Invite some friends over to hang out! Go hang out at your favorite shops, parks, or libraries in town with some friends. If you're bored and looking for something to do maybe you can look for a summer job or do dog walking, baby sitting, lawn mowing, etc for extra money this summer. So many adults have phone addiction issues (I need to cut back my screen time too). It is a real thing and your parents are just looking out for you because they care♡
Yo, people acting like your phone is the devil or something. There's so much cool stuff to learn online, you could spend 8 hours a day, every day for years and still not run out of things to watch, listen to, or read. Screen time ain't bad if you can control yourself. Sure, you gotta exercise and eat healthy, but do you really need to play an instrument, do sports, or have a hobby? Nah, not really. You can do those things if you want, but no one's gonna force you. But hey, they might be good for keeping you social, even though most of our socializing happens online these days anyway.
I’m 28 and I give myself screen time limits so I don’t waste my days scrolling… age has nothing to do with it. Your parents want you to be active and keeping your sleep cycle through summer is really beneficial… sorry kid, you just gotta deal.
4 hours a day? OP you're fine. That isn't unreasonable.
Sorry about these comments, a lot of them are from 30 year old parents and they are just not answering your question. For me, I used to have the same restrictions and something that worked for me was starting to put more time into studying and school to show them I had good grades so they were like "ok, screentime obviously doesn't matter because he is getting these grades" and I was allowed to play games unsupervised in my room and now they straight up don't care anymore what time I go to bed or how long I play, I'm 17. Another thing you could do is get a job and buy you're own phone, then they can't take it anymore because its your own property (I'm assuming they bought your current phone). If they are pyscho's and still take it, honestly just move out because you're right you are 16 and they should be treating you more mature.
Start small ask for extra 1hour or 2 on weekends or Saturday. But if they’re paying for it, it’s their rules.
i think 4hrs of screen time is plenty, as an adult i’m trying to get that lower than 4 hours because i swear it has ruined my attention span after 15+ years. what irks me honestly is the bedtime! 10:30pm? atrocious. it’s well known once puberty hits that teens have trouble sleeping before 11pm. I’d find some articles to sustain your sleeping desire, i’m sure there are a bunch out there. the conclude with the screen, i know it sucks. but i wish someone restricted me before it was too much a part of my life.
I mean if you were my child I would start expecting you to make your own appropriate bedtime and controlling screen time yourself. Maybe your argument can be that if they give you a little more freedom they can see you making appropriate choices by yourself without their help
16 was a bitch for anyone that had parents that cared for them and doubly so for those that didn't. You've got 2 more years to tough it out... you can do it.
It's a little weird that you have "screen time" at 16, but at the same time, who needs to be on their phone for more than 4 hours a day?
I think they are just helping you to keep structure. I have zero structure without an obligation and I wish I had learned to create that. Honestly, I think it would be better to not push back too much. Read books, do physical activity, learn to meditate, word map your interests to get career ideas. Doing this early in life will set you up for a better life.
As a parent, your parents sounds pretty reasonable to me.
My kid is 10 and doesn't have a bedtime on non-school nights. As for the screen time there's not anything you can do. Even if you paid for your phone and paid the bill they still have a say for now. I realize that's strict but as long as you balance your time you can handle it until you turn 18. Sorry about it all
I agree 16 might be a bit old to be actively monitoring screen time to this extend, but I'm gunna be really honest, I don't think your parents are crazy. Four hours a day is perfectly reasonable of a restriction for screen time for a kid your age. If you don't think you can keep yourself entertained in other ways besides a screen, that's kind of a problem you might want to work on. As you become an adult, learning how to disconnect is an important skill and your parents are trying to help you develop that skill. What are non screen activities you can use to occupy your time this summer? Things that will make you into a smarter, well rounded person? Maybe it's time to try reading some novels, or taking up knitting or jogging or baking or some other type of hobby you have always wanted to try? Or you could even try to get a summer job?
4 hours is a LOT of time to be in front of a screen daily. I think limiting it is kind of a power trip thing to do, but a limit of 4 hours is so much time that unless you actually need the limit, you'll never notice it
What constitutes screen time? If you turn off wifi isit still screen time?
Do you have a history of addiction to phone? Definition is NOT how long you stay on; it's rather you can stop when you want to. If you had tendency for addiction then screentime is reasonable
We don’t limit our kids’ screen time. As long as they do their chores, keep their grades up, and are around for dinner with the family, I don’t really care. As for bedtime, since it’s summer, we pushed it up to 11pm. They still need to get some sleep and be sort of on track sleep wise when summer is over
I didn't have a phone until I was 17 and I feel like my brain rot has increased dramatically since then. Its ok to use technology, but it shouldn't rule your life. Go outside and find a nice stick to smack the heads off of dandelions, pretend you're beheading an army as an all powerful giant 💪🙏 Trust me, it's actually normal and fun to have an imagination, you're never too old. Find peace in observing nature, take time to think and develop your brain more, etc. There's alot you can do without a screen.
Honestly, I have screen time as an adult but the difference is I instilled it. It's a great tool.
To be honest, I used to go to keg parties at the beach at 16. But sometimes my Mom would lock me out of the house, so it’s a good idea to plan ahead and have a place to sleep
10:30 pm is a reasonable bedtime, but you should be able to negotiate a later time, especially if you're in bed reading. Screen time is trickier. Doom scrolling is a waste of time. Looking at your phone to choose what to listen to next on spotify is a variable time period. Sometimes you need a few hours on a pc to research a project. Projects are something you should be doing. Learn an art or craft, make a costume, learn how to cook, learn how to grow veggies. At 16 you should have creative pursuits that will benefit you later in life, and in this modern age, they may need a bit of screen time to learn more. If you don't live somewhere walkable, screen time can also be socialising time. If you can't just walk to a park to meet up with friends, you're gonna have to use your phone to chat with them.
Their parent made a post on the same account. The 4 hour thing is fine. The big concern is that they turn it completely off when out of the house which is honestly dangerous if they get into a bad situation and have a phone that won't work or if they need to tell their parents something. Debate that part. If you're out of the house you should at the very least have access to text and calls
At that age I didn't have screen time at all and found other ways to entertain ourselves. I became a father haha. Maybe that's an argument for you, you could be home sitting like a zombie in front of a screen on the path to developing a deeply disturbing screen addiction that will impede you from functioning as a normal member of society and you'll end up living with your parents well beyond your 30s OR you could be out discovering your changing bodies with your peers and possibly start family planning.
I’m 27 and I have screen time limits on my devices, because I know that the YouTube/TikTok/Reddit/Instagram content recommendation algorithms are all designed to maximize the time I spend scrolling through those sites and make it so I don’t get bored and go touch grass. I think limiting screen time is probably a good idea. On the other hand, this is different because it’s a limit that is imposed from outside by an authority that might not know or put real effort into knowing how you use your devices. My screen time limits affect me in ways that support my goal of limiting endless scrolling, but do not affect me otherwise. I can do things like put in an exception for GroupMe, Discord, Signal, and Messenger so that running out of screen time doesn’t render me unreachable to my friends. If I spent an hour on TikTok and suddenly couldn’t talk to my friends anymore because I exhausted my screen time limit and couldn’t get around it, I’d be pissed. I certainly had my fair share of my parents being unreasonable so I can’t guarantee this will work, but I think you’d have a better chance of reaching something that’s agreeable to both you and your parents by discussing how you interact with your device and listening to their concerns about what sorts of things they’re worried about without interfering with healthy uses for your phone. The way you approach an argument tells the other person a lot about how they should approach it. If you have the attitude that their position is unreasonable and you just want to steamroll over it, they’ll probably try the same thing, and in this case they manage the parental controls so they’ll win because they can steamroll your argument by just ignoring it. On the other hand, if you start with the attitude that their position exists for a reason and you’d like to understand it so that it can be changed to be better suited to its intent, you’ll likely have an easier time convincing them to listen to your position in turn, and once you’ve both listened to each other’s concerns, it’ll be easier to come up with something you can both agree to. Philosophical arguments about whether something “should” or “should not” be basically never convince anyone of anything practical. There’s no better argument that can force them to come around by virtue of its logical soundness. You’ll have to either figure out what they actually want and how they can get what they want without interfering with you getting what you want. When you find your wants are in conflict, go meta: why do each of you want what you want, and how can *those* wants be met without interfering with one another?
As the people that pay for your phone they can put whatever restrictions on it they wish. Try interacting with the world more. Get out of the house and explore. Find a hobby to enjoy. Bedtimes are sucky. But during the summer all it really means is stay in your room and be quiet. You can read or save an hour of your screen time for then.
The screen time limit is reasonable and smart. A bedtime during the summer seems unfair.
To be honest dude, I wish I spent less time on screens when I was your age and got used to exercising more and having non-digital hobbies. A lot of people will say read a book or go for walks. But sometimes it's less common hobbies we can find peace from the world. And as you get older, that's something needed. Try to take up painting miniatures. There's a lot of tutorial videos on YouTube, but ultimately good skill comes from putting paint to plastic. Play some music while you do. There's a lot of other hobbies that aren't as common anymore, some of them you can make decent money at by selling the finished product. As a guy myself I'd like to have taken up sewing to make cosplay stuff. Or learning to make sci-fi armor for the same reason. Maybe take up cast modeling. Melting down old soda cans and pouring them into a mold to make a new item. Or maybe even try to take up blacksmithing if your situation allows. But I wish I had taken up hobbies that provided me with useful skills when I was younger. I was playing videogames rather than learning from my dad and my cousin how to restore classic cars. Now I've missed the opportunity to learn from one of them, and the other is getting old enough in years it's hard for him to teach me everything. You'll hit an age where you want to have a skill like that, it's just a part of growing older Edit: maintaining a sleep schedule is very important at any age. It goes a long ways to helping you think stable and build good habits for life. You might negotiate for it to be at 11 if it's important to you, but consider going to bed at a usual time every night and if you want more time to yourself then wake up earlier.
Take up drums or electric guitar to fill the time you aren't using your screen devices. That will give them plenty of motivation to give you more screen time. As for a 10:30 summer bedtime, I think that it's ridiculous. When I was 16, I was working until after midnight. My daughter is 12 and in the summer, she doesn't have a bedtime. Even if she did, I haven't a clue what she's doing once I go to sleep, so a bedtime is pointless. Having said all that, I'm not your parent and my opinion is meaningless.
It's been documented many times over that youth is losing interpersonal social skills due to excessive screen time. Further, it is documented that lack of sleep is detrimental to human health. So, at the risk of sounding like your parents, because my kids came of age at the dawn of smartphones, *put the damn thing down & go outside.*
Binging TV or games is a great pastime. Highly recommend you do it over the next few decades, before your ability to concentrate goes to shite. *But* obviously not every day.
These rules are reasonable but your parents should explain to you why they exist. I think they should let you on your phone for more then 4 hours a day but cut the internet off after 4 hours because thats probaby their biggest worry. Im assmuing you have friends and family, if you arent allowed your screen how are you meant to contact anyone? its not the 80s anymore when our parents grew up, showing up unannounced isnt appreciated. With the bed time thing, why would you want to be up later than 10:30 lol? Tell your parents you want to at least have some form of contact with ppl during the day. weither that be to plan hangouts, or be able to text them while you're out. Im assuming no landline at your house. Plus what about music? pictures? It should be an internet limit more then anything. try bringing that up too
i'd also recommend other hobbies. only problem with that idea is a lot of hobbies cost a lot of money. Sports? being in a team usually cost me 100 dollars. art? maybe if you just wanna doodle you can have a 50cent pencil. If your parents arent providing any other forms of entertainment for you, then thats an issue. youre still a kid its up to them to pay for that stuff. unless you wanna get a job but i hear minimum wage isnt that great in america. If they arent providing you with things for a fulfilling hobby then why would they expect you to want to do anything other then being on your phone?
As an adult I need screen time. As a teenager and a child I needed screen time.
Sounds strange that they can even do that when my son turned 13 I could no longer control his phone I might can take it from him if I feel the need but I cant control what he does with it and he is 15 now and I only say something about his phone if I ask him to do something and he doesn't and won't get off the phone to do what I ask of him and as for a bed time I think 10:30 is a lil early for summer but they aren't wrong in trying to keep you on a schedule so unless you work they may see it as keeping you on a schedule but idk why some parents are so controlling and act like they don't trust their kids and that is exactly what it seems like with your parents is they don't trust you so they make you go to bed when they do and like to control what you do and don't do so maybe you should start with asking them why they don't trust you and if you know why then maybe try showing them that they can
As someone who got over exposed to smartphones, I’ll tell you that your parents are doing you a favor. You’ll thank them later.
Points to consider for your POV 1. Maybe you don’t want your screen time all at once. For example maybe you want the freedom to text your friend if you hear something interesting but because you have to choose a block of time to use your phone you aren’t able to since you can’t see the future. 2. Using it through different activities. Do you have a job? Do you volunteer? Arguably you might need your phone during those periods of time. For example I work making food at a restaurant and often use my phone as a timer. 3. What are you doing on the screen. Certain activities like playing music while you do something else arguably shouldn’t count. I’m an artist and often use my phone to listen to music as well as reference images. Yes technically it’s on for five hours while I paint, but it’s not like I’m scrolling for five hours. Points to consider for their POV 1. If you are just on social media studies show too much time focused on that can have severely negative effects on your mental health. They are probably concerned about your development and well being. 2. Maybe they want to encourage you to have different interests outside of the phone. 3. Maybe that reflects their own personal experience, they were your age at one point and aren’t completely ignorant.
Screentime limit is because they want you to touch grass. Bedtime is because it pisses your parents off to no end when you sleep till fricking 1pm.
I didn’t have 4 hours a day to stare at a screen at that age. I was working, and when I wasn’t working I was hanging out with friends. You need to find something to do. You lay not realize this, but you’re still a kid. Go outside and get that pre diabetic body moving! Play with friends! Earn some money! Make a life!
I mean you are a bit old for it to be imposed, but that's because you should have the discipline to not be on it more than that by yourself. They are right about how much time you should be using it, just wrong that they should be the ones making you do so.
4 hours is a long time...but idk if screen time means phone or tv included. If tvs included, not enough time.
If you find some things you like to do that don't require screens, you'll find you won't be using those four hours. Make a decision to change and adapt to your circumstance. You can overcome those feelings of anger and make something better.
imo, you definitely shouldn't have a bedtime especially in the summer holidays, and a 4 hour screen time could mayyybe be acceptable but a 5/6 hour screentime would be better. i wouldnt straight up ask for no screentime because parents are always like 'oh, well, the phones these days cause so many problems' it isn't worth arguing for it gone, just try and extend it. as for the bedtime, you could make some arguments like 'i'm 16 now, i can fix my schedule by the time i get back to school' or 'i'm learning to be more independent' i hope this helped even just a little
Do parents of children actually say this? Most of us with children in the early to mid teens are adults who spent at least a part of their youth with smart phones. I'm in my late 30s with a 14 year old, and my first smart phone was in my adult teens/early 20s so it's not like it's new technology for us millennial parents. It wasn't that long ago when we were "young" To be fair, a lot of the societal issues we have today can in fact be attributed to smart phones.
Geez some people are being a little harsh! I’d be super super annoyed if I only had my phone four hours a day. I just want to validate that. At the same time, I’ll, more gently than others have said, tell you I don’t think you should argue with them. It might not feel like the right decision, and it’s not what I do with my teenage kid, but they’re trying to en still sole form of habit/lesson/experience in you. And they’re almost certainly doing it out of love and affection for you. I’d deal with it, and make a genuine effort to find ways to tolerate it. The mention of other hobbies is a good one. And I’d consistently mention (weekly) that you still would like more screen time. And maybe they’ll change their minds, maybe they won’t. If you *really* want to argue with them, and I’m not recommending this, but if it’s really important to you: ask them kindly, calmly, respectfully to have a genuine conversation with you about why they want to limit screen time. Say you’re committed to making adjustments in your life for more screen time if that’s what it takes. If they say they worry you aren’t reading enough books, offer to read x amount of books in exchange for more screen time. (And be respectful-don’t lie about having read them, actually read them.) if they worry about you not connecting with nature, tell them you’re willing to try hiking/kayaking/take the dog for a walk etc to show you’re committed to intentionally experiencing nature. If they’re worried about internet creeps, offer to allow for more parental controls on your socials. Etc. But mostly I recommend just putting the phone down when they ask. It’s annoying, but they’re trying to love you.
If you need more than 4 hours a day to dick around on your phone, you're an addict and likely ignoring other actual important things in your life.
I get good grades in school (A's and B's) and I'm on my phone for like 13 hours a day. Also im introverted so I don't really want to "go outside" because its simply not fun and uncomfortable.
The banana guy literally doesn’t understand the definition of an addict. Ignore him.
tbh youre young and its summer you should really be allowed to enjoy yourself. Lots of people talking about a summer job and all but youre only ever young once. When you get older you're not really gonna get breaks like that where you can just enjoy yourself for such a long period and stay up. I know I look back fondly on the times i had with friends during my summer holidays at 16 and staying up late. But the responsible side of me says you probably shouldnt ruin your sleep schedule and you probably shouldnt be using your phone for more than 4 hours a day anyway
Sounds like I’m an outlier, but to me, without knowing all the circumstances, a bed time and screen time limit does seem silly for a 16 year old during the summer. 16, you’re old enough to get a driver’s license (assuming this is the US, not sure about other countries), and you’re a mere 24 months from being able to do whatever the hell you want. To me, I think (within reason/circumstances), teens of your age should be able to make decisions like this for themselves. Reasoning being, adulthood hits so many like a ton of bricks if you’ve never had the freedom to act independently. Just my perspective. You are young, but if you’re a responsible 16 y/o, you should be given a decent amount of freedom.
Problem is that teenagers and even adults up to a certain age have underdeveloped emotional and mental maturity. Many teens unrestricted will totally spend their entire waking day playing video games or playing on their phones. Fine once in a whole but kids will be kids and often don't know how to limit themselves in a healthy manner. Which is why they're under our influence until at least 18