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ProtozoaPatriot

Go out with her again. You'll take your shot when the time is right. Stop letting your friends make you feel like a failure


Accomplished-Plum631

Exactly! It seems like the real problem is the way OP’s friends are hounding him about the situation.


ChronicallyCurious8

Best comment. Take this advice.


No_Towel6647

'Had a great time last week, sorry my mates are such jerks! Next time how about just me and you?'


EntrepreneurNo4138

OP. Add this. Be light and Upbeat. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Good luck!🍀


Hot-Win2571

Try again. It doesn't sound as if you've reached a definite point of unwanted attention, it sounds like the situation is definitely still ambiguous. If things don't work out with her, you'll meet others later. I've gotten rejected many times, but also succeeded enough times that I'm now married. To a fellow nerd, it turns out.


YourHighness3550

And at the end of the day, if you did botch it beyond recovery, then on to the next. You’re young, life comes at ya fast, and there’s tons of fish in the sea. Keep your head up king.


716mikey

Does whoever lectured you have a good track record of doing things *right*? Just go out with her again, you probably feel like you came off *a lot* worse than you did in reality. You’re always your harshest critic, you’d have to fuck up **really** bad to get completely written off in one go. I’m 22 and sometimes I even come off a little weird when I’m around certain people, and pretty women STILL throw me for a loop on occasion lmfao It all gets better the more you do it because you’ll find out what works and what doesn’t, for you and for whoever you’re around. Don’t completely change to be what someone wants, but see what their personal boundaries are and work within them, aside from just being respectful, it helps you come off as a more enjoyable person to be around.


curiousr_nd_curiousr

📣📣📣louder for the people in the back!! As a woman myself, I happen to like guys who are a little nervous. And nerdy, as I’m bit of a nerd as well 😅 They tend to be the ones who actually care about what I think, and are more sincere. Don’t let a few kids who don’t know what they’re talking about scare you. Be yourself, and whether it’s this girl or not, you’ll find someone who likes you for you.


Hot-Win2571

"As a woman myself, I happen to like guys who are a little nervous. And nerdy, as I’m bit of a nerd as well 😅" Good. My wife and I are both introverted nerds. Somehow we met, and enjoy being introverted with each other. :-)


curiousr_nd_curiousr

Literally the best. My bf and I are both extroverted introverts, we like a little time out with friends, but mostly just with each other doing stuff like watching Star Wars and playing Catan. Go nerds!! 🤓


tamsyn_rose

Same!


Icy_Firefighter_7931

Group dates are good starters to be introduced to people. Do something with her 1:1 or at least ask her. That’s your shot if she says yes or no.


jryan8064

Be honest with her. “Hey, I had fun the other night, but group settings sometimes make me nervous. Do you want to hang out sometime?” Worst case, she says no. But either way, you’ll know how she feels.


d_rwc

Yes, this. I have a friend who's incredibly comfortable owning his awkwardness. Even asking to reshake someone's hand if it was awkward the first time. It's endearing and disarming. Own it.


JRJ1015

Completely agree!! Better to know how she feels one way or the other. Also keep in mind, if she says no, it doesn’t cost you any money, your parents and your siblings still love you, your friends are still your friends (unless they are assholes then they can eff off along with the girl that said no). Bottom line: don’t attach your sense of self worth to having a girl friend. If you do that, you’ll end up with an awful witch that will turn you into a spineless blob, that no one will respect, for the rest of your life. I’m not saying be a stuck up dick, be you. If that’s not good enough for the girl, move on.


_Dragonfruit_12

This right here! Be honest!


Minute_Difference598

😂🤣i know that since he said it was good the girl is probably kind but seeing the Worst Case she says no. Makes me think of the meme.


jryan8064

Ha. Okay, maybe there are worse things than a no. But I would consider anything worse than no a bullet dodged..


Minute_Difference598

Yeah you are right i just wanted to say that.


ScienceInMI

Hey, lil bro. Old nerd here. Just learned I'm ADHD... at 53! Definitely socially awkward. I NEVER HAD AN ISSUE GETTING A DATE. ...after high school. High School sucks. Finally dated a gal from my high school ... When I was 43!!! (did go out with folks from neighboring school districts while I was in HS... GET INVOLVED IN COMPETITIONS OR ACTIVITIES WHERE YOU'LL HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE... like academic games, theater stuff (!), oratory competitions ("Forensics" http://www.themifa.org/theatre.html ), etc.) Don't sweat it with this gal. She'll like you for you, awkward and all, or it won't suit her. And that's ok. Just be you. As long as you're nice, kind, polite, and caring ... You can always be proud of yourself even if you're awkward! If your friends say "you blew it" respond with "we didn't click, and that's ok.". Then smile. Bullies/teasers HATE it when they don't upset you! Good luck. Teen years are tough. It gets better. Promise. 💚 ☮️❤️♾️


Minute_Difference598

Wow that is crazy. Hope my life turns out like yours. Your’s sounds very interesting at the advanced age you are.


MajorYou9692

Well, obviously, the dead opposite to what you did there ,believe it or not, you probably learnt a lot from the experience. 🤔


SkyGuyLife

Don't worry my friend. I'm 27 years old now and my life has been a series of missed and landed shots. You learn from every single experience. Don't stress the shots missed, there will be many more.


JRilezzz

It's only over and your shot turned to shit when they say they aren't interested. Just so you know. They probably felt super awkward too, and being honest with them is a pretty great way to break the ice. Just let them know you felt awkward, and aren't good at this yet but would like to get to know them better.


CherylR1970

If she’s interested in you, she’s going to understand and give you more chances. Even if she isn’t, I’m sure she still understands how certain settings can be more awkward for some people. Explain to her you get to know people better when you hang out with them individually, as opposed to in a group. Then ask if she’d be interested in hanging out.


LegitimateDish5097

I'm sure no one thought you were as awkward as you felt. Feeling nervous generally makes us look a little more awkward, but feel a LOT more awkward. If your friends are making you feel worse rather than better, they're not being very good friends....


silvermanedwino

Call her.


CaptainCadabra

You need to elaborate on what you did or else we can’t help you. What happened specifically


ElizabethLynn05

Focus on your self x


newjerseymax

Just be honest with her. Tell her she makes you feel awkward, but you like her. You would be surprised by how far honestly will get you.


MrPeeps14

There’s nothing worse than pressure from friends to try to flirt/get with a girl. Not only are you trying to impress the girl, but also your friends too…double pressure! Take all the opinions/pressure from all the others out of the equation and it will be a lot less stressful I promise. It’s really hard to act normal when you feel like a spotlight is on you. Maybe try a 1:1 or ask if your friends can ease up a bit and just let you do your thing. You got this brother. And if all is lost — you’re also good there will be plenty more out there.


chadwickbradford

You’re just a kid dude. Everyone flops like this a few times even as you get older. Don’t stress it


OktoberSky93

Hey, we all have moments where we feel like we've messed up. It's part of being human. Sounds like you're pretty bummed out about what happened at the movies, but don't beat yourself up too much! You could try reaching out to her, maybe with a self-deprecating joke about how you were a bit of a social klutz that night. Show her that you can laugh at yourself and that you don't take yourself too seriously. If she's a good sport about it, that's a great sign. Just don't dwell on it too much and don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has awkward moments.


nobullshit82

Just be completely honest with your date. Tell them that you know you messed up by being socially awkward, and you apologize. You were so terrified about messing up your chance them that it overwhelmed you and caused you to become socially awkward. You understand if they don't want to give you another chance, but it would mean the world yo you if they would.


BlaqkCard

Simple, give her a call one day. Go out with her alone. Just yall. You want to get comfortable with her first not when it’s a big crowd that could make the situation worse. And you’re not a nerd nor did u fuck up. U got this!!


Furtip

Who lectured you?


fartfoot1

Ignore those friends. If she likes you, she probably saw your actions as dorky in a cute way. If she doesn't, she probably didn't notice. Next time you see her, ask if she wants to hang out again, 1 on 1. Don't add any pressure. If she mentions it as a date, great. If she simply agrees, she might still be making up her mind. If she disagrees, don't push it.


Industrial-Sparky

If she's a girl who's worth being with you then she'll accept you nerd behavior and all. Just be yourself and let the cards fall where they may.


Feisty-Cheetah-8078

Bah! You could have fucked up way worse. This probably isn't the first time she saw you all nerdy, which means she probably thinks it's cute.


Sadrcitysucks

Approach anxiety.   Go to any place thats open and not creepy dont be doung this in an alley. Walmart, the Mall, outside a movie theater.  Find girls your age and just go up and talk to them. "Hey my phones dead do you have the time" "Hey do you know what isle the detergents on" "You have really awesome hair" Really anything that forces tou to walk up to an unknown and talk to them. It doesn't matter what the question is or even what they say. You are training yourself out of cold approach anxiety. You get to where you can approach any random girl, then talking to a particular girl becomes much less of an issue. 


Chemical-Ad5939

Try again. Don't listen to your friends.


Available-Wheel-3740

1) never take your highschool friends’ critiques. They’re as blind as you are in the dating game. Refer to Bronx Tale’s part when Sonny scolded C when his friends gave him dating advice. 2) missing your shot isn’t a socially awkward fail, shooting a “bad shot” is; you gave you and her time to warm up to eachother and now you can have a real date minus the friends. 3) Be courageous and tell her you want to get to know her on a date. If she says yes then you get to go out and take it a step further. If she says no then you can move onto your next crush. Glhf ^_^


VanillaBasix

Take her out again, be yourself and if it comes up or you feel there’s a chance to, let her know that when yall went out before you wanted to open up more but it was hard to do with all your friends there. Or tell her she’s so pretty you felt a little nervous, but you really like her, really like her personality and don’t want to miss out on getting to know her better. Of course in your own words. Don’t sound like a 40 year old mom lol like me.


JohnNeato

If you want to recover from this immediately, be nice but generally disregard her and start showing your affections to someone else of similar social status, that isn't good friends with her, but not necessarily in her presence. She'll find out, I promise. Never ever speak of, apologize or even acknowledge your awkward behavior, and after about a week or so of this, see what kind of reception you get when you say hi. They call it game for a reason.


Shot_Ad5497

Ask her out


secrerofficeninja

Do you know what you did wrong ? If it was a minor “nervous teen” thing, she may have thought it was cute. The advice is clearly dependent on how bad you fucked up.


Inside-Run785

Yeah it really isn’t that bad. Just try again and be yourself. Firsts dates (especially that young) can feel nerve wracking.


Cereaza

I'm gonna guess you're like... 14-16. In which case, 90% of kids are awkward dorks who miss their shot. Tell her you had a great time. Tell her she's so pretty that it makes you nervous sometime. Tell her you'd love to go out with her again.


Superhoga1

Did you tell her she could really be drinking whole milk if she wanted or did you draw her a portrait and tell her the hardest part was the shading on her upper lip.


John_B_Clarke

Was it so bad that she told you that she never wanted to speak to you again? If not, just relax and talk to her.


Fred_Krueger_Jr

Your friends will always be able to do better when they're not the ones in the hot seat.....


Hungry_Caregiver734

Think like Alexander Hamilton. Don't throw away your shot. Use it how you want when you are ready.


proper_headspace

Chin up, bro, you've got more chances. At least they told you now. Way back when the earth was still cooling, I had it *bad* for the hottest chick in my class. I missed opportunities I didn't recognize, but that's not the worst. I had friends who knew she was hot for me but didn't tell me until we all went our separate ways. Yeah, I'm still salty about it. Anyway, don't give up.


AVBforPrez

Tell her you like her, wish you hadn't been so awkward that night, and suck it up before asking her on a date. Get off the Internet


Upset_Potato1416

Easy fix: get better friends, ones who don't harass you about BS like that. You didn't mess up. Don't let these idiots tell you how to act with this girl. Be yourself, even if that means being a socially awkward nerd sometimes. Being that is a million times better than being something you're not. Signed, A woman who ended up marrying a guy who was a socially awkward nerdy mess on our first date at the movies ☺️


Long_Try_4203

Get better friends. They should have your back. Be honest to her and just tell her you like her. Tell her you’re awkward in these situations but you like her and want to get to know her better and show her the real you. If she’s not receptive, move on. There’s millions of girls your age out there.


AdeptusAstartes40K

Literally be open with her and communicate your thoughts in a clear manner. "I like you and I get nervous and awkward around you. I want to spend more time with you". Precise, direct communication with an inkling of flattery in it for good measure.


Hiddenchamelion

Walk up to every hot chick you see and politely flirt with them. You'll get laughed at a lot, but it'll take the sting out of it with repetition. A couple weeks of that then try asking her out again. You should be a little less anxious then.


Interesting_Track371

What works for some people is to just act like she’s your best friend. Like convince your mind into that. Have confidence. Just be you and have a good time. It’ll workout.


code_amature-2945

You have to be comfortable taking that shot. Never force anything.


McGundam1215

Wait wait wait if she lectured you, just be glad you missed out cause that girl don’t know what she wants besides being spoiled. If it was your buddies then they may have been razing you but in all honestly talk to the girl. Your awkwardness might be the clutch that she loves about you. This is coming from a 39 yr married nerd to a non-nerd wife You be your nerdy self and honestly if she digs ya she’ll embrace your nerdy ways but you gotta embrace some of her normal ways


Queennerdy

just be yourself, one one one with her, if she likes you you'll know. don't change who you are for someone. however, shyness ect can be worked on. I was very shy at about 14, now I'm 18 it's just about gone. good luck.


Material_Water3341

Its okay...laugh it off.. Own it with a smile, its ok to f up once in a while thats how you learn and get better ..just be like " haha i goobed that ish up.." but get back on the horse, try again, DONT act ashamed or hide from anybody i know plenty of dudes who geeked and fumbled the ball so to speak loads of times and went on to be very successful romantically...youll be fine


DangerDiGi

Was it the girl who lectured you? If not, then you did not miss your shot. It's summer, ask her if she wants to go get some ice cream, or offer to bring some over and hang out. Or ask her to do another activity like bowling. Have a casual conversation with her about things she likes. Then tell her how you feel, and ask if she feels anything too. Speaking from experience, if you don't ever ask her out then you'll regret it, potentially for the rest of your life. Don't miss out on your chance, take the leap. If she says no, then brush it off and be friends, no harm. Learn now to face your fear and anxiety and social awkwardness, get comfortable pushing that boundary and you'll go places in life. My quote of the month, "Get comfortable being uncomfortable and there's nothing you can't achieve."


yarsftks

Ask her out to a movie, just u and her.


sugaree53

Need more info-what happened??


MentionSad28

Wait. Who lectured you about missing your shot: the friends or her? This matters.


HobbesG6

You know what... I think it's okay to make mistakes like this. We were all awkward teens at one point, and there is absolutely no avoiding it. You will undoubtedly do something else awkward in the future, so wouldn't it be better to just relax and be yourself instead of stress over it? Ask her to go on another date, tell her you felt like you were awkward last time, have a good laugh together about it, and if she doesn't take to your openness about it, then oh well, you'll both survive, and you can chalk this one up to "practice". We all needed practice at some point in our lives, and even lots do into adulthood too. I'll also add that confidence (not arrogance, btw) is a huge deal in the dating scene. You need to just relax and be confident in the fact that you may be a nerdy and awkward teen. Confidence, my man. Confidence. Also, ignore your friends when they give you a hard time about it, because I'm betting they're not perfect little James Bond romantics either. Lol. Be fearless. There is nothing wrong with being nerdy and awkward. A lot of woman even find that sort of thing endearing, but the guys won't say that to each other because they're all too busy trying act cool and hide their own insecurities.


NanaimoDabs

The first time I met my wife in person I was so full of anxiety and awkwardness I couldn't make eye contact with her for like 10 minutes... Luckily my best friend was there as a bit of a cushion 😂. I got over it, she didn't ever hold it against me. We laugh about it often. Don't listen to your friends. We're very happily married going on 4 years now. Just relax and try not to worry about that stuff. It comes in time and if it's ment to be those awkward moments don't matter. Ask her out, tell her you felt super awkward and that you really like her. Just be honest. There's a good chance you've still got a shot


ih8cabbage

It’s okay, it happens! ❤️ communication is important so I would reach out and be honest. Let her know how you feel and see if she willing to give you a second chance. The worst case scenario she says no, but may mean it wasn’t mean to be, at least in the present time. I am sorry you’re dealing with, I’ve been there too!


Beginning_Loan_313

This kind of awkwardness can be very endearing :) Overconfidence is off-putting to some. Have another go, privately this time.


nogahide

don't beat yourself up over it. Lick your wounds and go out with her again. If she doesn't go then, and I can't express this enough, there will be other girls just as good or better come your way.. Let it go. And don't stress out over it.