"Idea for a programme, _Fresh Fish Fondler_. Marco Pierre White tours the supermarkets and fishmongers of the UK manually checking the quality of supposedly fresh produce."
And so I told the old women, I say old, they could have just been in their 40’s and just poor. Anyway, I told the aged women “if it doesn’t smell like oranges, it doesn’t take like oranges”.
And do you know what they did? Well at first they just looked at me, sadness in their eyes, clearly worried that I was about to change their world view. But then, they smelled the oranges….think that says it all really. You can’t make this stuff up.
I’m a huge Marco fan.
He can be so serious, deeply philosophical, and quite frightening tbh; yet alternatively as you can see here, he’s got a very playful, cheeky innocent side to him.
He’s just wandering about having the time of his life here being very silly. But also making sense. As the women sniffing fruit would agree.
A few observations
* i know someone who 'when no-one's looking, snap a piece off' at a supermarket. he did. someone was and he was prosecuted for it.
* i had no idea prior to watching this video that, as he observes, supermarkets sell a lot of things.
* cheers for the cheap chops
Handling raw meat, here shake my hand, raw fish, ill give that a tickle too, ooh theres a nice apple ill give that a good snoz. I would not be buying fruit from any supermarket this mans been to!
The way he was manhandling that turbot, I thought he was about to lift it to his nose and inhale deeply as he did with the grapefruit.
“It smells of what it tastes of, and it smells like it needs a shower”
I’ve watched him for some time and I am still not sure if he a genius who is crazy or plain crazy. Either way he has made and paid tribute to some amazing concepts and dishes.
This is gold! The women saying her husband likes “hot stuff” in response to the mustard is pure partridge at the tills
You go careful there now my love!
No, put the basket on the end, no not on the conveyor belt...put the beans back in the basket
^(Alan…) *She’s not listening to me!*
Great addition that was, it took me a few watches to realise his dog was attacking sheep not a squirrel lol
*Oh fuck he’s got one!!*
You have to let him eat it 😫
*Sigh*... What are you doing?
D'ya want paaackiiiiiing?
Heheheheheeeuuugh - Jill you are so dirty.
Too much mustard gets up your nose.
Nonsense!
Wanna smell the orange? Smell the orange. SMELL THE ORANGE YOU MOTHER!
Have I got another Michelin Star? Let me rephrase that... can I... no I'll just repeat the question.
Can I surprise you , I like supermarkets.
This wine tastes like Chewitts
The power that man has to have those ladies sniffing fruit. Astonishing
SMELL MY FRUIT, YOU MOTHER
Where is store manager David Paul?
Surprised he didn’t mention the warm air curtain on entry
Sir, please stop fingering the turbot .
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Sometimes I just don't understand downvotes
I still hope he bought that turbot
"Idea for a programme, _Fresh Fish Fondler_. Marco Pierre White tours the supermarkets and fishmongers of the UK manually checking the quality of supposedly fresh produce."
Idea for a spin-off: *Melon Sniffer.*
Turbot tennis?
Smell my cheese, you mother!
God that’s good
He took the free sample. He held his nerve and managed the equivalent of a three course meal.
Do you smell orange, Mary ? No. Do you? NO
You go careful now my love
And so I told the old women, I say old, they could have just been in their 40’s and just poor. Anyway, I told the aged women “if it doesn’t smell like oranges, it doesn’t take like oranges”. And do you know what they did? Well at first they just looked at me, sadness in their eyes, clearly worried that I was about to change their world view. But then, they smelled the oranges….think that says it all really. You can’t make this stuff up.
“When they’re not looking, break a bit off…and there’s F-all they can do about it”
If you hold your nerve, you can snap off the equivalent of a three course meal.
This is too good! He is slightly taking the piss isn't he? The lookaway/walkway "my uncle was called Roy he was a butcher as well" is perfection.
He's just doing a Cockney walk...
I’m a huge Marco fan. He can be so serious, deeply philosophical, and quite frightening tbh; yet alternatively as you can see here, he’s got a very playful, cheeky innocent side to him. He’s just wandering about having the time of his life here being very silly. But also making sense. As the women sniffing fruit would agree.
I want to see the rest of this episode. The man is a legend. A weird legend.
I'm definitely sniffing all the fruit from now on. Also washing it far more thoroughly than I have previously 🤣
A few observations * i know someone who 'when no-one's looking, snap a piece off' at a supermarket. he did. someone was and he was prosecuted for it. * i had no idea prior to watching this video that, as he observes, supermarkets sell a lot of things. * cheers for the cheap chops
Handling raw meat, here shake my hand, raw fish, ill give that a tickle too, ooh theres a nice apple ill give that a good snoz. I would not be buying fruit from any supermarket this mans been to!
probably would not eat from his kitchen either if that is how he gets on hey
Yeah just a bit of chicken shit, but we all follow through now and again don't we?
Shaking hands with someone handling raw meat…I hope he understands the importance of washing his hands…
Hi… Jean
Oh, no… no, no we, we mustn’t.
Hrmm... mmm... very creamy hands...
She was so close to cracking up.
Cheers for the cheap chops
Shakes hand of man who's just stopped handling raw meat? A chef?
Someone needs to follow him with a black light for a germ spreading infomercial lol. That woman who's husband likes hot stuff 🤣.
Cheese, Chops, Chocs. Cheap Chicken. And Chicory and Chives.
You alright packing?
SMELL THIS FRUIT!
Laughing hysterically at the mustard exchange
Let's face it: Supermarkets are just *better* than regular shops.
that is a very meaty handshake with Roy. "cheers for the cheap chops"
"Is this one-way?" Hilarious.
Land Rover parked Over 2 disabled bays, guaranteed
It was a Range Rover, of course
What an aloof, pretentious twonk. At least Alan has a modicum of humility.
Cabbages Don't like cabbages one bit. let's get through this lot
FLYING AIDS. Two handfuls of sausage meat, please
he's a butcher.
I didn’t make Gordon cry, he made himself cry, he chose to do that.
I would havr to say that most things that I cook you would be able to buy in supermarkets.. believe it or not.
Yep, you've gone again
Come on Marco, stop fingering the produce and sticking your snout in. This country 🙄
#accidentalpartridge
Absolute banger! This HAS to be a a partridge spoof, right, RIGHT??
Knorr stock pot
Where are all the Carl’s.
Smell my grapefruit you mother
Did he wash his hands at any point? He handled meat, fresh veg, fruit and fish.
Is this one way?
The way he was manhandling that turbot, I thought he was about to lift it to his nose and inhale deeply as he did with the grapefruit. “It smells of what it tastes of, and it smells like it needs a shower”
I thought he was going to pick it up and blow it up like a balloon
Fuck me this is glorious.
Can you fingerprint a sausage?
Alan on the market in “Welcome to the places of my life” is pretty much exactly this. Alright sugar tits?
Alan would not enjoy that pork hand
It’s essentially vintage partridge….but with a nice meal at the end…which is a bonus
I’ve watched him for some time and I am still not sure if he a genius who is crazy or plain crazy. Either way he has made and paid tribute to some amazing concepts and dishes.
“I love aisles, that’s why I got married 3 times” - pure comic gold
There you are.
The majority of things I cook can be found in a supermarket...yeah no shit Sherlock.
D’ya need help with your packing?