Geocaches are often hidden in cemeteries and sometimes part of a headstone has a secret compartment, particularly if the deceased was a ‘cacher. So there are definitely fun Easter eggs in cemeteries.
Yeah, this is not a good idea. I definitely feel for the mom, but this is more something for her. I don’t think it’s intentional, but she’s the one grieving and can’t let Ryan go. But it would be much healthier for the older brother if they focused on dealing with and moving past the loss.
The post says “supported her son Tucker through the loss of his baby brother.” I don’t think lil Tuck was old enough to really comprehend the existence and loss of his days old brother. Don’t lump your toddler into your grieving process.
A pregnancy lasts nine months, I think you can absolutely build up excitement for a brother. And it still could have been pretty traumatic for him. He doesn't look like he's too young to notice the emotions around him.
As someone who has lost an infant and has been helping my children process the loss of their beloved and much anticipated sibling, I could not disagree with this statement more.
Way to also dismiss and diminish all of their pain and loss by saying they should move past the loss. Shame.
You don't just "move past" something like this. You learn to live with it. Each and every day.
I’ll never understand why western people have the perception that ignoring death is healthy for anyone, let alone young people. You really should educate yourself on different cultures and their grieving traditions. This is an amazing way to keep your children conmected to the concept of death in a gracious way.
Yeah that’s totally fair. I genuinely think it depends on how close they were (and lowkey for how long the kid goes back and plays there). I think if the kid plays there before like core memories start to form (sometime in early elementary school) then that’s too long and could be a little traumatizing look back on it. I totally see what you’re saying
Go back in time to the 80s and tell my mom this. My aunt told her to get rid of our sandbox because cats pee and poop in it. So she did! Never thought of a lid?! So annoying. I loved that sandbox.
https://preview.redd.it/kqyczsu6jc9d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02e44a7f481eed86c3b189899bace96ca1d02af5
I catch these things all the time
Interesting. I feel for the parents, losing a child would be crushing.
I’m a little worried about this would affect the psyche of the older boy. Trust mom to keep a good eye out
It is absolutely devastating losing a child, but I don’t think older brother could have really established much of a bond over a 5 day period…
I agree that this is probably not in the best interest of the older child. It seems like it may be more for the mom to give her some closure that her babies got to play together. But that’s kind of sacrificial of her older son’s mental health
This is kind of my feeling too. Having a child play in a sandbox over a grave is morbid and 5 days, he probably had no real concept of what could have been.
You’re forgetting about the buildup and the entirety of the pregnancy. Excitedly announcing to your young son say at 20 weeks, “you’re gonna have a new baby brother!” Five more months of excitement and prepping a crib and toys. Five months of this kid infinite what it would be like to have a little brother. That’s a lot of time for an adult, let alone a child for whom this is a large chunk of their short life.
This kid looks like they’re at least three years old. At that point, they can speak in nearly complete sentences and communicate their ideas. They have an internal concept of the world that they can share. I don’t think it’s just for the mother and I think there is some actual grief that this child can go through. Regardless of whether they’ll remember it later in life, it will affect them.
I absolutely agree that this could be the case for some children. However, I think the average toddler is able to recover fairly quickly from things that are not physical experiences, for lack of better words.
Setting up the crib is more an experience for the parent, and us asking “are you excited to have a baby brother” is us having it on our minds, not necessarily them having it on theirs.
I saw my little one passively aware of their incoming sibling and not really putting much thought or conversation into it. When asked about it, he dismissively said he wanted it to be a little sister. When asked what if it’s a boy, he reacted like I had just told him Disney World closed. Now he has his little brother and they have bonded so much over the last few years.
He went from not really caring during the pregnancy to having his whole life revolve around his little brother. And I don’t disagree that some kids will be very excited by a pregnancy, but I do think that kids recover from things that don’t come to fruition
Though the brother didn’t physically bond with the baby much it still might have affected him deeply. I am not saying that playing at the sandbox would be healing. I have no idea I don’t know the kid, but I’m pregnant right now, and I have a three year old. She is already very attached to “her baby.” When we are out anywhere she wants to save a set for her sister. She wants to take an extra sticker for her sister, etc. if we lost the baby she would be devastated.
I lost my brother when I was 2 and played Barbies on his grave and other graves at the cemetery when we’d visit. My mom was always open about his death and the cemetery was a normal place to visit (I actually kind of enjoy visiting cemeteries and reading all the names and piecing together peoples’ stories). It made death a little less scary and taboo.
I’ve lost all my grandparents and my mom died on Wednesday. I think her attitude has helped me process this much better than I would have otherwise.
How would this cause problems? And what kinds of problems?
There's really nothing morbid about it. Plenty of cultures exist where spending lots of time at the gravesite and playing or picnicking there is normal.
Agreed, as someone who grew up playing at a cemetery it feels pretty normal. I don’t have any trauma associated as far as I know, and it’s actually helped me process losses a little better.
Literally, none of this is rooted in anything.
There are cultures where children sleep with dead bodies and those people turn out normal by all standards.
Check out *From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death* by Caitlin Doughty. There are many ways to kourn and experience death that aren't just throw my loved one in the ground and never visit or experience joy near their graves. People who are raised to embrace their loved ones last places have healthier relationships to death, funerals and graveyards than those who have your view of things.
I’m very sorry for this mom. I cannot imagine the pain she’s experienced. She likely has good intentions, but this seems a bit morbid. She needs to focus on her living son who still needs her. This does not seem healthy, imo.
I lost a baby brother at this age and this will be very traumatic for the older one
The family should have stepped in and stopped the mom from acting out fantasies on the oldest.
There is a lot of therapy for this kid in the future
I support this. I think western society is unnecessarily attributing morbid attitudes to things we can control. People are calling this gross and macabre.
Other cultures have parades for the dead. Some of them have long wakes for family to touch and hang out with the body. Some cultures even dress up their past ancestors before reinterring them in the grave.
Hell, the Victorian era made a to-do about post death photos and hair mementos. It made people happy, calm, and unafraid.
This little boy is happy, calm and unafraid.
Everyone saying this boy is gonna have mental health issues- you’re *projecting* hard. **You** are afraid.
Context means everything and none of us know everything happening. But my gut says that this wasn't the kids idea and seems like a way for parents to get some attention for themselves, hence the pictures and sharing it to the internet. Could have just quietly carried on with this if it was only for their kids/their benefit. Then we would all get the benefit of not discussing it!
How would the kid have the idea?! He’s like five. He’s thinking of graham crackers. That’s like saying “putting pants on today wasn’t the kids idea” well of course parents make the decision they think is right for the kids 🤦🏻
Sharing it makes other parents and people in general think about creative ways of mourning and remembering the dead. Instead of musty funeral homes and invisibility
I like this as a way to normalize death so it isn’t so scary for kids, but this feels like it’s less about the kid than it is the mom and her grief. I hope they’re both doing alright.
Should install a spring loaded hand to reach up and grab him every now and then
https://www.google.com/search?q=carrie+hand+grave+gif&client=safari&sca_esv=e92a91eafa47dfb8&sca_upv=1&hl=en-us&ei=a_B_ZqWmHtn8ptQPtbGasAY&oq=carrie+hand+grave+gif&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIhVjYXJyaWUgaGFuZCBncmF2ZSBnaWYyBRAAGIAEMggQABiABBiiBDIIEAAYgAQYogQyCBAAGIAEGKIESJxHUPMcWK5FcAN4AZABAJgBS6ABngOqAQE2uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIJoALUA8ICChAAGLADGNYEGEfCAgYQABgHGB7CAggQIRigARjDBJgDAIgGAZAGBZIHATmgB-4L&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#vhid=aDtFG-4mS_SJ8M&vssid=_gPB_ZrYl7aKm1A-w-6HAAQ_36
I feel like I have a different take on this because I don’t even personally believe in burials. I think cremation is the way to go and we should carry those we lost in our memories and hearts and not put it into a physical place.
This child isn’t playing with his brother, he’s playing in a sand box over his brother’s coffin who he wouldn’t have really gotten to know with his mother who wants to feel physically close to his body to help with her personal grief.
I think the base idea of it is meant to be sweet but overall it’s an unhealthy way of a mother to push her grief on her young son. Children shouldn’t have to play in graveyards :(
Strangely enough I work in the cemetery regulation field and I don’t know how something like this flies. Must be a private, family, or church cemetery. What happens when it rains? I’m very confused by this.
People don’t play in plot dirt for obvious reasons. “Leakage” is the term we use.
The ground looks sandy so I have a question about watershed /ground water levels as well.
Tributes like this take a lot of maintenance. Is the mother still going to want to do this 5 or 10 years away? And one hopes that blue sand does not get spread around the cemetery near other graves without the same sentimental attachment.
I think this is so sweet. My older brother died when I was 6 months old, and I spent the first ~6 years of my life visiting the cemetery every weekend with my mom. I still remember those days pretty well, even 30+ years later.
I’m gonna do this with my grave but hide some of my bones and stuff in there for fun
There’s got to be a way to utilize a jack in the box and motion sensors for your idea.
Geocaches are often hidden in cemeteries and sometimes part of a headstone has a secret compartment, particularly if the deceased was a ‘cacher. So there are definitely fun Easter eggs in cemeteries.
This is so interesting and creepy.... I must learn more!
Your instructions were unclear and I’m being charged with desecration of a human gravesite. What should I do?
Build a ‘lil zen garden rake with your hand bones 🦴
Like an archaeology hunt game!!
Same but with cat poo
I can't wait to find out what the "and stuff" is
I'm picturing a comically clean and well defined bone like a femur. Thank you for the giggle.
That's just all graves, homie.
30 years from now he's sitting at the bar telling the bartender how his mom used to go make him play with his dead brother at the cemetery.
With the cat poop
Yeah, this is not a good idea. I definitely feel for the mom, but this is more something for her. I don’t think it’s intentional, but she’s the one grieving and can’t let Ryan go. But it would be much healthier for the older brother if they focused on dealing with and moving past the loss.
The post says “supported her son Tucker through the loss of his baby brother.” I don’t think lil Tuck was old enough to really comprehend the existence and loss of his days old brother. Don’t lump your toddler into your grieving process.
A pregnancy lasts nine months, I think you can absolutely build up excitement for a brother. And it still could have been pretty traumatic for him. He doesn't look like he's too young to notice the emotions around him.
Exactly. That baby was days old. Her older son will likely not remember him, but will need therapy if she continues to do this.
As someone who has lost an infant and has been helping my children process the loss of their beloved and much anticipated sibling, I could not disagree with this statement more. Way to also dismiss and diminish all of their pain and loss by saying they should move past the loss. Shame. You don't just "move past" something like this. You learn to live with it. Each and every day.
I’ll never understand why western people have the perception that ignoring death is healthy for anyone, let alone young people. You really should educate yourself on different cultures and their grieving traditions. This is an amazing way to keep your children conmected to the concept of death in a gracious way.
And how often is she going to the cemetery where this is necessary?
“What did you do growing up?” “Made sand castles on my brother’s grave.”
That’s one take, but I think it’s a cute gesture. Never got to play with his brother and now his baby brother can play in that sandbox forever
As the mother of a dead child my other children will have no memory of, the sandbox is a comforting gesture for the mother, but not for the children.
I am so sorry. Sending you a giant hug. 💕
Yeah that’s totally fair. I genuinely think it depends on how close they were (and lowkey for how long the kid goes back and plays there). I think if the kid plays there before like core memories start to form (sometime in early elementary school) then that’s too long and could be a little traumatizing look back on it. I totally see what you’re saying
Lmfaooo it's really for the parents ig
This is my thought. Fucking weird thing to do. Mom needs therapy.
“There i am just playing with cunstruction toys... And my dead baby brother 6 feet under me” Bartender: “.......tabs on the house my brother”
[The bartender.](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExb3NiYzNqMGQ3NHE1eHdjcHB4bWY0MHAxbGo3Nzlkamw1ZHA4bWc4MSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3o7aCQeveC1U6MxxQI/giphy.webp)
I really expected Frank
Like I get it, I do, it's a beautiful idea and everything. But how are cats not shitting in her dead sons grave playground?
I'm not that smart, but at least I can think that they have a lid that is removed. You know, like all other small sandboxes.?
Yeah for real - that’s like grave sandbox 101 shit
Go back in time to the 80s and tell my mom this. My aunt told her to get rid of our sandbox because cats pee and poop in it. So she did! Never thought of a lid?! So annoying. I loved that sandbox.
Did you love the sandbox or the free snacks you foraged for yourself?
Those small sandboxes were also somehow still full of cat shit.
Put a cover over it between visits
If a locking sandbox can't keep cats out, idk how a cover would. If they want in there, they are getting in there.
What do you think he's doing with that little bulldozer?
You need better parts and planning. I'll connect you with my grave sandbox guy.
Is that why I got a call from "dusty mike"? I told him to fuck off. That may have been a mistake.
Groundskeepers are responsible for cleaning cat poop out of sandboxes over graves?
So best case scenario, a guy hired to mow lawns is having to scoop cat shit everyday and the parents let their other kid play in it?
…that’s the gist of it, yeah.
Set up some glue traps
https://preview.redd.it/kqyczsu6jc9d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02e44a7f481eed86c3b189899bace96ca1d02af5 I catch these things all the time
Pretty sure most cemeteries have grounds keepers.
All the ones near me do. There are even some huge military cemeteries near me. But they aren't on site 247. Cats shit quick.
Interesting. I feel for the parents, losing a child would be crushing. I’m a little worried about this would affect the psyche of the older boy. Trust mom to keep a good eye out
It is absolutely devastating losing a child, but I don’t think older brother could have really established much of a bond over a 5 day period… I agree that this is probably not in the best interest of the older child. It seems like it may be more for the mom to give her some closure that her babies got to play together. But that’s kind of sacrificial of her older son’s mental health
It’s definitely for the mom the kid has no idea that this is crazy
This is kind of my feeling too. Having a child play in a sandbox over a grave is morbid and 5 days, he probably had no real concept of what could have been.
You’re forgetting about the buildup and the entirety of the pregnancy. Excitedly announcing to your young son say at 20 weeks, “you’re gonna have a new baby brother!” Five more months of excitement and prepping a crib and toys. Five months of this kid infinite what it would be like to have a little brother. That’s a lot of time for an adult, let alone a child for whom this is a large chunk of their short life. This kid looks like they’re at least three years old. At that point, they can speak in nearly complete sentences and communicate their ideas. They have an internal concept of the world that they can share. I don’t think it’s just for the mother and I think there is some actual grief that this child can go through. Regardless of whether they’ll remember it later in life, it will affect them.
I absolutely agree that this could be the case for some children. However, I think the average toddler is able to recover fairly quickly from things that are not physical experiences, for lack of better words. Setting up the crib is more an experience for the parent, and us asking “are you excited to have a baby brother” is us having it on our minds, not necessarily them having it on theirs. I saw my little one passively aware of their incoming sibling and not really putting much thought or conversation into it. When asked about it, he dismissively said he wanted it to be a little sister. When asked what if it’s a boy, he reacted like I had just told him Disney World closed. Now he has his little brother and they have bonded so much over the last few years. He went from not really caring during the pregnancy to having his whole life revolve around his little brother. And I don’t disagree that some kids will be very excited by a pregnancy, but I do think that kids recover from things that don’t come to fruition
I would not call this healthy closure. This is picking at the wound so the scare it leaves is larger then it should have been the first time around.
Though the brother didn’t physically bond with the baby much it still might have affected him deeply. I am not saying that playing at the sandbox would be healing. I have no idea I don’t know the kid, but I’m pregnant right now, and I have a three year old. She is already very attached to “her baby.” When we are out anywhere she wants to save a set for her sister. She wants to take an extra sticker for her sister, etc. if we lost the baby she would be devastated.
I lost my brother when I was 2 and played Barbies on his grave and other graves at the cemetery when we’d visit. My mom was always open about his death and the cemetery was a normal place to visit (I actually kind of enjoy visiting cemeteries and reading all the names and piecing together peoples’ stories). It made death a little less scary and taboo. I’ve lost all my grandparents and my mom died on Wednesday. I think her attitude has helped me process this much better than I would have otherwise.
I’m sorry for your loss 🖤
Why do you think it’ll affect his psyche if he has some GOOD memories instead of just mom crying?
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How would this cause problems? And what kinds of problems? There's really nothing morbid about it. Plenty of cultures exist where spending lots of time at the gravesite and playing or picnicking there is normal.
Agreed, as someone who grew up playing at a cemetery it feels pretty normal. I don’t have any trauma associated as far as I know, and it’s actually helped me process losses a little better.
For thousands of years, children would regularly have close family and friends die. We keep death so far away from society which is never how it was.
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Literally, none of this is rooted in anything. There are cultures where children sleep with dead bodies and those people turn out normal by all standards. Check out *From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death* by Caitlin Doughty. There are many ways to kourn and experience death that aren't just throw my loved one in the ground and never visit or experience joy near their graves. People who are raised to embrace their loved ones last places have healthier relationships to death, funerals and graveyards than those who have your view of things.
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You're the one making the claim. I can't prove a negative.
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So projecting as suspected? I hope you can work through your trauma.
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“Go outside & play with your brother!”
Bro
Surprised the cemetery allowed this. They can be pretty picky. Hope it has a cover too lol
I’m very sorry for this mom. I cannot imagine the pain she’s experienced. She likely has good intentions, but this seems a bit morbid. She needs to focus on her living son who still needs her. This does not seem healthy, imo.
Wow, the amount of therapy that’s going to be needed by this kid one day.
Kind of fucked up, honestly. This is usually because the parent can’t reach closure. And it’s usually psychologically damaging to the sibling.
I'm sorry but that's not cute, that's creepy.
Damn, I just can’t imagine losing a child in the first place, my emotions are all over the place
I would paint the ceiling a new color if anything happened to my daughter. She is my entire world
I lost a baby brother at this age and this will be very traumatic for the older one The family should have stepped in and stopped the mom from acting out fantasies on the oldest. There is a lot of therapy for this kid in the future
I support this. I think western society is unnecessarily attributing morbid attitudes to things we can control. People are calling this gross and macabre. Other cultures have parades for the dead. Some of them have long wakes for family to touch and hang out with the body. Some cultures even dress up their past ancestors before reinterring them in the grave. Hell, the Victorian era made a to-do about post death photos and hair mementos. It made people happy, calm, and unafraid. This little boy is happy, calm and unafraid. Everyone saying this boy is gonna have mental health issues- you’re *projecting* hard. **You** are afraid.
Context means everything and none of us know everything happening. But my gut says that this wasn't the kids idea and seems like a way for parents to get some attention for themselves, hence the pictures and sharing it to the internet. Could have just quietly carried on with this if it was only for their kids/their benefit. Then we would all get the benefit of not discussing it!
How would the kid have the idea?! He’s like five. He’s thinking of graham crackers. That’s like saying “putting pants on today wasn’t the kids idea” well of course parents make the decision they think is right for the kids 🤦🏻 Sharing it makes other parents and people in general think about creative ways of mourning and remembering the dead. Instead of musty funeral homes and invisibility
Oof. Those dates on that tombstone…
Insane.
I like this as a way to normalize death so it isn’t so scary for kids, but this feels like it’s less about the kid than it is the mom and her grief. I hope they’re both doing alright.
Seriously wonder how long before the sand becomes a toilet...
Not sure how healthy this is for the long haul.
Local cats will love it too
I didn't expect to wake up crying. Thanks.
This is f*cked up.
Nope
That's fucked up. 
nahhhh - this is an origin story
Florida gonna Florida I guess.
Until feral cats find it
Cats love to attend and pay respects regularly
I used to make sandcastles with my grandfather, but my mum made me put his ashes back in the urn.
Conjuring
Usually I like these stories, I find something about this a little macabre. Like the kid should be playing with the living and not the dead.
Like this kid will even remember. But I’m sure his parents will grill it into his brain until he has survivor syndrome.
It's important to think fondly of the past without getting stuck in it. Well done.
That's creepy
I’m sure the local cats love it.
Awe, the quote on that headstone is heartbreaking.
Reminds me of "what remains of edith finch", such a depressing game I have ever played in my life
This is so heart-wrenching and also nice. Wtf. So many feelings.
Weird.
Should install a spring loaded hand to reach up and grab him every now and then https://www.google.com/search?q=carrie+hand+grave+gif&client=safari&sca_esv=e92a91eafa47dfb8&sca_upv=1&hl=en-us&ei=a_B_ZqWmHtn8ptQPtbGasAY&oq=carrie+hand+grave+gif&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIhVjYXJyaWUgaGFuZCBncmF2ZSBnaWYyBRAAGIAEMggQABiABBiiBDIIEAAYgAQYogQyCBAAGIAEGKIESJxHUPMcWK5FcAN4AZABAJgBS6ABngOqAQE2uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIJoALUA8ICChAAGLADGNYEGEfCAgYQABgHGB7CAggQIRigARjDBJgDAIgGAZAGBZIHATmgB-4L&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#vhid=aDtFG-4mS_SJ8M&vssid=_gPB_ZrYl7aKm1A-w-6HAAQ_36
😔😞
No way he’s is going to end up in therapy. 😂 This is the mom indulging herself at the expense of her living child.
So much hostility in the comments. Sorry for the little guy. Grieving is personal.
This kid is going to have some interesting imaginary friends.
Some critter is gonna use that as a litter box once the sun goes down
Not healthy for the kid
This is psychotic parenting
So that’s how serial killers are made
I can’t decide if this would be therapy or cause therapy.
That’s weird as hell
What a stupid fucking mom. Grief can make people deeply weird.
No This is just weird
She did it for the attention Someone grieving doesn't think of this or post shit like that
This is child abuse.
that's gonna be a catbox if there's no cover
Yeah I don’t know about this one.
“Mom, tell Ryan to stop taking my toys!”
or a stray cat litter box 😂
A bit sick to my taste, but people invent their ways to cope. Who I am to judge?
I feel like I have a different take on this because I don’t even personally believe in burials. I think cremation is the way to go and we should carry those we lost in our memories and hearts and not put it into a physical place. This child isn’t playing with his brother, he’s playing in a sand box over his brother’s coffin who he wouldn’t have really gotten to know with his mother who wants to feel physically close to his body to help with her personal grief. I think the base idea of it is meant to be sweet but overall it’s an unhealthy way of a mother to push her grief on her young son. Children shouldn’t have to play in graveyards :(
Ugh this is so sad
Some real life "The Other" shit.
This is now the world's saddest litter box.
This is weird as Hell and probably detrimental to the surviving son
4 days...
it's always the hardest on the family
Runsawaycrying
Wow... It's... actually interesting
My son is always a little shit when we visit his dead brother. TBH this would have been the go to
10-11 is my birthday as well. Sorry little man for ur brief stay on this earth
Strangely enough I work in the cemetery regulation field and I don’t know how something like this flies. Must be a private, family, or church cemetery. What happens when it rains? I’m very confused by this. People don’t play in plot dirt for obvious reasons. “Leakage” is the term we use. The ground looks sandy so I have a question about watershed /ground water levels as well.
Wouldn't all of this be something installed on top of the ground? It's just a grave marker that happens to have a hollowed out section for the sand.
Tributes like this take a lot of maintenance. Is the mother still going to want to do this 5 or 10 years away? And one hopes that blue sand does not get spread around the cemetery near other graves without the same sentimental attachment.
This is sweet. I hope there’s a lid for the sandbox and no cats in the area.
I get it…but maybe not. Playing on your son/brother’s grave, it is a bit…odd. I do commend the mom for creativity
I think this is so sweet. My older brother died when I was 6 months old, and I spent the first ~6 years of my life visiting the cemetery every weekend with my mom. I still remember those days pretty well, even 30+ years later.
Oh god that’s so sweet though
👏🥹🥲
Sad af, but beautiful at the same time.
beautiful headstone. not sure i’ve ever said that. ❤️
Heartbreakingly sweet
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Topkek.
😭
Seriously. I’m bawling like a relative died. The sand box. Oh dear lord, I just can’t help tearing up.
Awe so sad 😭🥺 he's love for he's brother is unconditional ❤️