*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**If you're a straight man, going to gay bars to pick up women is the best decision you could make**
As a guy who has been clubbing for a long ass time, the easiest places with zero competition to hook up with women are gay bars. Holy fuck, it's a goldmine. I've met so many bored af straight women who hang out at gay bars since their friends pulled them there. It's ironically a straight paradise.
**Here are my tips of you're trying to date or pickup at a gay bar:**
I usually get warmed up by talking to everyone first. This is mostly gay guys. Once I chat up a few peeps, I've probably gotten hit on at least once lol.
Let's say I see a girl. 9 times out of 10, she's with her friends. Her friends are gay 90% of the time. They think I'm gay since, lo and behold, I'm at a gay club.
I don't approach my girl directly. Usually, I spot something "quirky" on one of her friend's clothes or a tattoo I think is interesting. I go off that and open her friends. For example, "Excuse me, I know this is super random, but your friend has the most adorable, NYC look I've seen all day! I swear to god he/she is going down a catwalk." If they're bored, I usually go with the scripted, "You guys look like the most fun people I've seen all night".
Since gay clubs are inherently more upbeat, social venues (far more than normal str8 nightclubs), most of the time they swallow it up.
After that, I chat up the group. My overall goal is to isolate the girl, but in the meantime, I fluff up the group and make everyone like me.
She doesn't usually ask if I'm gay, who I'm with, etc. The friends do that. When it comes to that, I usually go with a simple "I'm bi, leaning straight." Even though I'm fully straight to "I'm with a friend, but he's so fucked up right now. I swear to god I lost him near the beginning of the night." They may ask if I texted him, but I just say we're troublemakers and this happens often.
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“My overall goal is to isolate the girl”
I don’t like dating strategies where I can’t tell if the person is getting advice from their friends or their local serial killer.
That dude’s openly admitting to behaving like a fucking predatory animal and he doesn’t even find it weird or off-putting or else he wouldn’t boast about it. Embarrassing.
Maybe it’s because I’m older and people were more homophobic when I was young but most straight men would avoid gay bars because they feared gay men would be as predatory towards them as they are to women. I hope this guy has had at least a few of his hunting trips ruined by a guy who bothered him all night and tried to isolate him.
I’m skeptical of the story also because most women know the dangers of leaving a wasted friend alone in a club and wouldn’t be interested in someone who admitted to doing that.
>She doesn't usually ask if I'm gay, who I'm with, etc. The friends do that. When it comes to that, I usually go with a simple "I'm bi, leaning straight."
As a bi woman, using this to prey on a woman is pretty fucking disgusting. She likely feels safer being there and he's weaponizing that sense of security and using it against her.
Yeah, unless it’s a deeper conversation people don’t usually open with where they “lean” anyway. Guy’s either trying to ease his conscience about lying by not fully committing to the lie, or on some level he thinks bi men don’t date/aren’t appealing to women.
Or it could be that he's trying te seem less into guys in case any of the guy friends of the girl he's preying on happen to be interested. What a creep and asshole.
I also do not buy that this works as well as he says it does. I'll believe he sometimes gets numbers- and even then it's probably not always just the one girl's number- but considering that his little story doesn't go any further than sharing his sexuality with the group, he's not "picking up girls," at the gay bars. 🤦
It may just be me but Ive also never said I "leaned" anywhere. Im just bi. There is no straight or gay about where I am. I am bisexual. Maybe Ill say a preference for dating women but that isnt even entirely true. Most of my relationships have been with other women, sure but I didnt plan it that way and its not because Im more "gay than straight" thats just... how it happened. Ive met more women I felt compatible with than men by random chance. Im spending the rest of my days (🤞) monogamously with a man and I wouldnt consider that as me "leaning straight". The person I chose to marry just happened to be a man.
I dont get to pick who I met when and how often I meet them nor who I am attracted to. Its just is what it is.
I mean I don't think just stating that you have a preference is anti bi, as long as you don't force other bi people to also describe themselves in such a way. If anyone asks me my orientation, I would tell them I'm bi but mostly gay, since I feel that reflects best how I feel.
I classified myself as mostly straight before, but that's bc every man I've been with dont believ im straight "every women ls a little bi" citing drunk girls make out with drunk girls
>on some level he thinks bi men don’t date/aren’t appealing to women.
He's not wrong. Surveys have shown that more than 50% of ***bisexual*** women wouldn't sleep with a man if they knew he had slept with other men. That figure is even higher for straight women.
only time I ever said things similar was when I was super uncomfortable with my sexuality so assumed everyone else would be too (I was also a teenager)
I know exactly one person who describes themselves that way. Because they're in a committed straight passing relationship and thought that made them less bi.
I had a highschool friend who would do just that. He and his friend would pretend they’re a gay couple or bi to pick up girls who thought they simply wanted some company to have fun with. And then, when the girls had the guard down they’d put the moves on them and tell them they were really into women. Gross memory unlocked.
It reminds me of a guy from a friend group (he's not in there anymore). He told all the girls that he is gay, absolutely nor straight, no interest in women etc. So when he was drunk, I thought he's just a bit sloppy. Turns out, he told the guys in our friend group something else and that in fact he is bi with stronger interest in women. Same guy always talked bad about new partners in our friend group
Good strat, but he fucked up by telling them "he was really into women". If you want a better strategy, make it appear this is a rare and special occasion. It may be bullshit, but at least the girl feels special.
Oh, you dig far enough in his comments, he gets worse. He basically believes that lesbians are really just bi, and will cheat/sleep with the right guy (him of course).
But he likes them a good 10 years younger than him if not just old enough to drink.
He is so beyond ick into I want to find a way to report him to somebody, ideally cops because my gut says some of his "body count" that he sort of talks about, (of you believe he actually has one) may not have been sober enough to consent the first time.
LMAO, none of this is illegal. Hell, one of my best friends is an ex police officer. He doesn't give a shit either. While he doesn't go to gay bars, he thinks the concept of going there to pick up straight chicks is hilarious.
I find it odd that hitting on a woman and seeing if she wants to have consensual sex is seem as such a predatory and violent thing. Like I thought we weren't supposed to demonize a person's sexuality, but maybe that was never a universal thing and only ever a "me" thing
He lies about his sexuality to give his target a false sense of security (in that she thinks she’s making a new friend and not getting hit on) and states verbatim that”[his] overall goal is to isolate the girl.” If your hookup strategy explicitly involves lying to and isolating the person you want to have sex with, then that SHOULD be demonized! That’s demon behavior!
Except he's very explicit about flirting with her and wanting to hook up with her. And everyone's flirting "strategy" involves isolating the person, having one on one time is pretty essential in this whole process. I still don't see what's so evil and violent about this
OOP is one of those Andrew Tate weirdos as per his post/comment history. The rest of us in this thread are picking up on those predatory vibes in the way he’s describing his actions. He doesn’t appear to think women are actually people and his “strategy” reflects that. That’s what’s disgusting.
I could not give less of a shit. Hope you find something that fixes the hole in your heart one day instead of trying to patch it with alpha podcasts and meaningless sex.
But what is predatory about seeking consensual sex? It just sounds like think a heterosexual man's sexuality is inherently violent and predatory. And I thought we all agreed it was bad to think like when society had these same exact views of gay mens sexuality. But apparently that was only for being gay and being straight is just bad I guess
The deception part. And the part where his framework is that m/f sex is a thing that a man does to a woman rather than a thing that a man and a woman do together, as evidenced by OOP’s entire posting history.
There’s nothing *inherently* predatory about a man seeking consensual sex. However, OOP is lying to create a situation where the woman is more likely to assent to sex than she would be if he was honest. Legally, that’s not considered consent because the assent is obtained via fraud or deception. *That* is predatory.
I guess we'll just never agree then. Because I just don't see how lying about being bi is predatory, I don't see how it hurts anyone, and I don't see how being bi vs straight would change your consent to have sex with them. It's bad to lie but I just don't see this lie as extreme as you do. To me it seems like someone saying a woman is a predator because she lied about how many people she's had sex with. To me that seems equally ridiculous as claiming this guy is a predator because he's saying he's bi when he's straight. To me calling someone a predator is a very serious accusation that says they are a threat to those around them, I just don't see how this lie makes this guy a threat to anybody
You need to look at the context. For example, OOP thinks Andrew Tate, a man currently on trial for running an organized sex trafficking operation, is a super duper guy with correct opinions (he literally has a post that says “Tate was right”). OOP’s viewpoints are fundamentally influencing his actions. It’s not this specific interaction in isolation that is being called out as predatory, it’s the pattern of behavior and attitude towards women and sexual encounters where the lying is one example.
People are calling him predatory because he is treating dating like a hunt; he is literally pursuing a predator/prey strategy. He is misrepresenting and camouflaging himself in order to get close to his prey (pretending to be bi, pretending to be interested in her friends, pretending he is enjoying talking to the whole group, pretending he is there with a friend - literally his entire approach is non-stop misrepresentation). His goal is to cut her out of the herd and isolate her. Having gotten her in a more vulnerable position, without her friends there to help her out, he will then (presumably) attempt to escalate things to having sex with her. And a guy that will approach entirely based on deception like this guy did is not going to get squeamish about using pressure tactics or worse once he’s isolated his prey and moved in for the kill.
The fact that he’s thinking about it in those terms is all there in his wording and approach.
Seeing that you think ATate is right, I understand why you would approve of predatory tactics. I'm only surprised you'll allow yourself to even hint at being anything other than an aLpHAaAA
Seriously, and it's particularly weird because most people at a club are drunk.
I'm a (mostly) straight guy and stick to straight clubs, and even then I'm still careful because I'm not trying to hurt anyone. Whether it's me hitting on a woman or a woman hitting on me, if I can tell that either of us are drunk it's "Here's a glass of water and my number, hit me up tomorrow"
Now, see, you have the “normal human being” reaction of only wanting to sleep with someone who also wants to sleep with you. OOP doesn’t think women are people and gives off major rape fetish vibes. I’m pretty sure his “targets” being drunk is a bonus for him.
I swear it's so sad how low the bar is right now. I was talking to a friend about this and we both observed how we'd get all these compliments and told how great we are for things that should just be normal
I don't say this to impress anyone, it's just that I absolutely hate how things are and I really shouldn't be getting called a good person because I think it's bad to sexually assault drunk women. Women should be looking for a funny, cute, nice guy but instead they're like "you look alright and you won't rape me, here's my number"
Your username really suits you as a person.
In my experience, getting phone numbers at nightclubs is next to worthless. There's a low chance you'll hang out again due to intoxication, her meeting literally dozens of dudes that night, etc.
The only exceptions to the rule in my experience are raves and festivals.
Bro if I don't ever see them again that's fine though. I'd 10000% rather not get laid than end up sexually assaulting a woman who is only agreeing because she's drunk
This is sad. I remember going to a gay bar as a teenage girl (I'm bi, but back then I thought I was straight and was indeed accompanying a gay friend) and had such a positive experience because the guys I chatted with weren't interested in me, and it all felt so... friendly and *safe*. I got a little too drunk and a guy put me in a cab home. I remember wishing I could honestly just hang out there, but also didn't want to take up a space that wasn't designed for me.
It's sad to think that gay clubs are popular with straight women because they are a safe haven from straight men, and this guy is going there to keep on creeping on women.
It’s a real time example of why some clubs let attractive women in for free - they don’t do it for the women, they do it to get the men who will pay to hang out near and shoot their shot with the attractive women. The women are bait.
I saw a saying somewhere that goes like this: "If the service is free for you, you are the product". And I feel that bars/clubs that let women in for free are behaving like that, kinda creepy
I used to go to one, back in the day. I went with two gay women, and I'm a straight woman. I was so naive, and only when looking back I realised those two women were bodyguarding me. If ANYone came over to me, those two women just saw them right off.
I've never had a safer experience than clubbing with those two women. I loved them dearly.
Edit: but y'know, unless the place is hugely popular, you aren't "taking up a space that wasn't designed" for you. You're just going out and being safe and having a good time. I hope anyone else reading these posts realises that we can do that.
I'm a straight ace woman ... and loved gay bars because no one was looking to chat me up. They liked to talk, and sometimes ask who I thought was pretty, but thats it. No flirting, no bothering me. Exactly what you said.
Isn't this what happened to a west Hollywood gaybar? Straight women trying to avoid creeps flooded in, drawing in straight men. Next thing you know straight guys are mad because they're getting hit on by gay men at a GAY BAR. lmaoooo.
Edit: hope I don't offend anyone here. It was something I read about once in passing, might have been an article. By creeps I don't mean guys in general, but actual creeps. Guys who don't take no, grope women is what I meant.
or they do understand it, but think that's what women are 'for.'
though I hold out hope that there are more who are clueless like your comment than there are evil ones like mine.
Oh I've definitely seen the light dawn in the eyes of several men over the decades. I've never had a reply along the lines of, "And what's your point?"
Maybe I've just been luckier than some, but I do know your ones exist too.
My advice to any lesbians who are uncomfortable approaching women in those environments is to make point of hitting on all straight women who go to gay bars for that reason. It helps them get over the fear of being rejected, if my strategy takes off, these women will be uncomfortable and stop trying to take over queer spaces and expecting everyone to accommodate them. If you don’t want to get hit on by someone of the same sex, don’t go to gay bars.
If you’re a woman in a gay bar, you are signaling that you are comfortable being approached by women. If being hit on by women in a gay bar makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t be going to gay bars.
If straight women want a place to go where they don’t have worry about being hit on by men, then they should create these spaces. Gay bars came into being because gay people did this exact same thing, often at great physical risk to themselves. It’s not at all uncommon to hear about queer people feeling pushed out of queer spaces because straight women have decided to make them their safe space.
“if my strategy takes off, these women will be uncomfortable” - you.
hitting on *anyone* specifically to make them uncomfortable is not a good move. i’ve been hit on by lots of women and it’s only been a few times that it’s been uncomfortable. and it’s the woman hitting on me that makes it that way. don’t be that woman, it’s gross.
I’m a happily settled lesbian so I don’t hit on anyway, thank you for your concern. I do, however, hear from lots of other WLW who mistakenly approach a straight woman in a gay club and are met with disgust. I’m assuming these women aren’t being creepy because they do fine approaching other women and because the response is usually someone like “I’m not *gay*” and/or a look of disgust/contempt. It’s bad enough that a lot of women are now uncomfortable approaching other women in gay bars. The few places that women who are attracted to women *can* safely approach their preferred gender?
And, again, I’m still struggling to see the problem with what I said. Did I suggest that anyone be intentionally creepy? I just said approach them. If they’re not homophobic, they’ll be okay with saying, “Thank you, but I’m not interested.” If they are homophobes who are creeped out by women hitting on them and who are taking over spaces of people they’re disgusted by, then yes, they’ll be uncomfortable and they won’t come back.
Because, with all due respect, you have really latched hard onto the idea that straight woman might be made uncomfortable by a lesbian hitting on her in a gay bar and you are lecturing me, a lesbian, about how I should behave in a gay bar. And, if nothing else, you have to appreciate the fact that, while discussing how queer people feel pushed out of queer spaces by straight women, I’m being lectured by what I’m fairly sure is a straight person. And if that’s not the case, then I’m legitimately glad that at least one queer person’s experience has been positive enough in these contexts (and in general) that you’re pushing back so hard on the idea that straight women in a gay bar have to accept that women may hit on them, even if they’re uncomfortable with it. Because that has not been the experience of lesbians I’ve talked to who do go to gay bars. General gay bars often aren’t the most inclusive for lesbians in general and they’re more of an afterthought or tolerated group, but in smaller areas, they take what they can get. I’ve seen many people in these situations talk about how being pushed out by straight women who were offended at the existence of lesbians was the last straw. These women have reason to be in gay clubs.
You reminded me of the Tumblr story of [the Gay Avenger](https://www.tumblr.com/toastedpopsicle/49403922346/frodosbois-toroheicho-kangarudy?source=share)
The good news is that this is almost certainly the fantasy of some loser who fancies himself as a pick up artist (most of whom are, themselves, a bunch of losers who fool other losers with fantasies that they're successful pick up artists).
Since the alternative is a predatory arsehole who ruins gay bars for everybody, the better option is a deluded arsehole who wanks himself to sleep over the idea of other men believing the image of himself he squirts into his Reddit posts.
No. For fuck’s sake. If you’re a cishet dude looking for a straight woman, DO NOT go to gay bars.
The women there are going to be queer or if they aren’t, they are there to +not+ get hit on by men. Either way, they don’t want a predatory cishet dude invading their space. (Non-predatory cishet dudes who are allies or partners of queer people are always welcome.)
Normalise getting these guys thrown out when they appear. I have done, and will continue to do - usually security at queer venues is more than happy to throw out predatory straight guys with very little dispute.
Because that's not really what he's doing? He's lying, which means no true consent is possible. It's not real consent if you don't know what you're actually consenting to.
LMAO loser thinks directly asking the chick if she wants to have sex is a viable (and the only acceptable) strategy. No, it's all body language and non-verbals.
There's no law that states lying to get sex is illegal. I don't care about your make up rules and justifications. I wipe my ass with them. What I do care about, however, is what objectively works.
But its not a relevant lie. Like based on what you're saying there's practically never true consent when two people hook up after a night out at the club
I don't see how being bi but mostly straight is much different than being straight. Sure he shouldn't about that but it's not that big of a deal especially if he's just trying to hook up
How is he doing that? What is this "ambush" you're even talking about? Again you're just saying that being a man attracted to women makes you a predator by default
He is disguising himself as bi to seem like he belongs in a gay bar: Camouflage, so he can get close to a woman not expecting to get hit on because it is, again, a gay bar: Ambush. I am talking about this specific scenario, not men in general.
Ok, but you understand you're trying to explain it by using predatory, hunting language.
This is about conquest, not two people coming together equally, and because you are viewing women as prey you are falsely approaching them.
Yeah I just don't see it the same way you do. It honestly doesn't sound like you know what being bi is and it's weird that you think a straight woman would belong in a gay club either then
Okay, so first: that never happened to me.
Second: that's why you go undercover to prevent that from ever occurring. Blend in with the crowd. That's why when I hit up my girl, it seems natural, like she's a cool chick and I'm a cool guy. (Even though I planned this all along.)
If you're a guy thinking of hitting up straight chicks at bars, I'd strongly advise never going direct.
Oh, little man. It's adorable that you think these pick up tactics are a good way to live. Toddle back off to your expensive conventions where douchebags take your money and you get to socialise with lots of other guys and never really have a decent conversation with a woman and treat them like meat and the guys like gods...
Actually, gay bars are probably what you need. Yep. Head back to the gay bars, be brave and talk to that twink. Future you will be grateful.
You should focus on not being outted as a asian fetishizer and creep who goes after just legal girls rather than preying on women at bars. Just a reminder you post history is public on this app
i feel like there's a much more simple way to have sex with people at a gay bar that requires much less strategy and pre-planning and an entire gamefaqs guide on how to do the run.
you just have to let go of that whole "straight" thing
I was hoping for a leather daddy, but this is just as good. In fact, this post led to my partner and I having a brief discussion about why leather daddies are exactly what the world needs.
> “your friend has the most adorable NYC look I’ve seen all day! I swear to god he/she is going down a catwalk”
For someone who allegedly stalks gay bars to harass women he has no idea how gay people talk. If you said that in real life you would be laughed at
Yeah, the assumption in the comments that this automatically means a bar with only gay men and straight women is very strange. Lesbian bars don’t really exist much anymore, so we tend to go to general gay bars a lot more than we used to, I believe.
Given that what OOP is suggesting goes farther than just "hey beautiful, can I buy you a drink? no? okay then; have a good night" I'm going to assume this man was making a nuisance of himself well beyond brief flirting.
What exactly is he doing that warrants a broken nose? Talking to people? Mildly lying to them? If a woman is hitting on me is it ok for me to break her nose because I want her to leave me alone? Like come on this is an insane reaction to someone being annoying and the other commenter should leave her partner before she gets her nose broken by this psycho too
If someone is **persistently harassing you** the way OOP suggests, and won't leave you alone when told to do so- as I'm assuming this man wouldn't (or else why escalate to violence?), then yes. Regardless of gender, I would understand throwing a punch. We women have no more reason to expect endless grace from men, if we sexually harass them and won't take No for an answer, than the other way around.
Punching in response to, "hey, can I buy you a drink?" No. Punching in response to "I'm going to hit on you endlessly and refuse to take rejection?" Understandable.
So where does it say anyone is being harassed for such a long time? Because it looks like the guy is acting pretty normal with talking to a whole group then flirting with one woman to try to hook up with her
But let's be real I highly doubt you'd be chill with watching a man break a woman's nose because she was simply annoying him. Honestly this sounds the response an unhinged abuser would have
If you think the kind of guy who says things like “isolate the woman“ and advocates straight men going to gay bars expressly to pick up women is going to stop at basic civil conversation and then asking someone out, and back off gracefully if she says no, I have a bridge I would like to sell you. Regardless, my point stands: I would be OK with someone punching a person who was harassing them under the same circumstances regardless of gender. Doesn’t mean I’d be OK with it if the person was “just annoying them“ as you say, but. Come on. I find it hard to believe that’s all this guy would do.
Based on personal experience, it seems vastly more likely to me that this commenter’s wife was being harassed (in her own community’s safe space) by a homophobic asshole and resorted to punching only when he wouldn’t leave her alone.
Yeah ok what would this guy be doing that is more than just annoying? And based on personal experience it seems vastly more likely that the guy was just being annoying and that persons wife is a violent abusive person who lashed out at a socially acceptable victim of her violent abusive tendencies
It was far more than just annoying. He followed us out of the club and tried to corner us. He began getting angry because I was "rejecting him"... then he threatened to SA me to make me straight. So he got his nose broke and while he was howling in pain and outrage, we ran and managed to jump into a cab.
Or do be direct, but don't try to hit on women at gay bars where there's a very good chance that they're either gay (shocker!) or there to avoid male attention. Either way, very few women there will be interested, especially if you do the whole sneaky rigamarole OOP suggests.
Definitely not in my experience lol
The most bored people I've ever seen in a gay club are straight women. It's funny people mention this, but it "isn't their space", as the LGBT community puts it.
Typically, their gay friends dragged them there and they're aching for any sort of attention by a cool, interesting guy.
Unfortunately they get stuck with you instead. The exact opposite of a cool, interesting guy. An internet troll who’s greatest accomplishment in his life is making someone angry for a day at most, before being forgotten about completely, just like your impact in your everyday life
His advice isn’t ”gay bar” specific - but lifted from the How to Creep Woman Out Once They Are Old Enough to Have Self-Esteem and See Through Your Shit Handbook.
It’s amazing how much you can get hit on by men in a gay bar. I used to always shock men by telling them that I was gay…that’s why I was there…
And the girl I’m with? Yeah, we’re together.
This guy proving once again that sexuality isn’t a choice. I wouldn’t be attracted to straight men if I had any say in it. But my bisexuality is taking a hard gay turn seeing this.
It's very telling how straight men basically approach dating as a hunting. There's no mutual respect. There's no actual consideration of her feelings. There's no genuine interest in a woman. There's no time to develop a fun interaction.
Instead almost all morning advice is about finding some way to trick her into interaction... as if a woman is the obstacle. ☹️
Isn't like a known fact that straight women at gay bars don't usually wanna get hit on by men.
Also yeah, "I'm bi but leaning straight" is definitely how queer people talk.
Why can't creepy men like OOP leave us alone?! I've never been to a gay bar, but if I invited I would go for sure just to be able to dance and not worry about creepy men hitting on or assaulting me. But, losers like OOP ruin everything
Straight men don’t belong in queer spaces. You have literally everywhere else. Queer people deserve to exist in the limited places they have without men using it as yet another opportunity to prey on women. The same guys that do this will be the guys that get mad if a man hits on them in the gay club. It’s pathetic and it’s disgusting. Walk outside, turn to the left or right, and go to literally any other bar within walking distance because it will undoubtedly be a straight bar.
That's funny, because I hear straight women going to gay bars is considered distasteful because it also "isn't their space".
Nevertheless, there's literally zero competition. Therefore, I wipe my ass with your "space" opinion and will continue to visit gay bars to hook up with women.
How many times have you actually had sex that you still treat this one experience you had as some great novelty lol. You sound both down bad and horrifically inexperienced.
Tell me did any of these supposed women stay in contact with you? You reak of insecurity lol
Edit: like novelty dating techniques are the realm of the DEEPLY insecure lol
Going to gay bars to pick up women is just one of my many strategies.
If you're looking to hook up with women with little to no competition, I'd also advise going to a college campus as a non-student. If you can travel, going to the Philippines can easily rack you a huge notch count within an absurdly short amount of time.
Also, it varies: sometimes I'd get phone numbers, sometimes I'd get makeouts, and sometimes I'd get laid.
All in all, picking up women at a gay bar has a higher chance of success than going out to a typical straight bar since there's far, far less competition.
Okay name the other strategies then. Novel dating strategies are the realm of the insecure who can't date normally. This is unambiguous. Being a trashy sex tourist is not impressive either lol. "Go onto college campuses and bang dumbass college kids" is how you get STDs, mediocre sex, and a lot of drama.
All you're telling me is that you're too insecure to date normally, so you have to rely on power dynamics and inexperience to try and bang. This is a sign of weakness and not strength lol, like massive weakness.
"Going to gaybars has more success than normal bars"
Once again telling me that ur too insecure to actually date normally. All you've done is broadcast your abject weakness lol
Lol I don't care about "abject weakness". I care about what works.
I also have an easier time dating women my own age, but I typically don't go out of my way to talk to them. Why? Because as a woman ages, her skin sags, she becomes progressively less attractive.
Why would I opt for that when there's a hot, young 19 - 21 year old I can talk to?
Move around a ton? I move around just as much and still get lewds from the many people ive fucked, or phone sex or whatever. My fiancee and I literally have an international group of simps. You're once again telling on yourself, people tend to stick around if they like you, hint hint.
You sound like a pua who doesn't understand the actual best parts of sex, which you are.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
People like OOP are the biggest reason (aside from straight women deciding to spend their bachelorette parties in them 🙄) why we barely have any good queer exclusive bars or clubs these days
This is usually the end of a gay club. I've seen many go through the same life cycle: a new place opens > gay ppl start attending > straight girls frequent it because they feel safer there > straight dudes find out and go to hook up with girls > it's not safe anymore > it dies.
"My overall goal is to isolate the girl"
Yikes. This is literally the tactic employed by wolves or lions. They creep up on a herd of grazing animals, bison or white tailed deer in North America or zebras or wildebeest in Africa, and the herd panics and runs. The first charge causes chaos but thats what the hunters want. In the melee the alpha selects a target and the wolves/lionesses converge and bring down their target.
I'm a bisexual woman. Willing to bet I'm a bit older than this stupid wee cunt. Would also cheerfully step in if I saw this type of manipulative shite being pulled on someone else and point it out. And so would my partner and friends.
These stupid little twats think they've a new scheme. Happened when I was a teenager too. Happened many years before that as well.
It's not original or a suddenly genius decision, it's an ancient and easily spotted play that will more than likely end with you thrown out the club.
Like is the OP 14??? How young and dumb do you have to be to think this is an idea? Absolutely hilarious.
Lmao, you genuinely wouldn't know. It simply looks like a cool guy is hanging out with a group of friends. There's no overt manipulation. I engage the group and then my girl if the opportunity arises.
I wouldn't have known when I was fifteen, maybe. I learnt long ago to avoid this shit. You're much less smart than you think you are. And calling yourself a "cool guy" is hilarious. Grow up.
To be fair, I (a straight woman) did meet my husband at a gay bar. But he really is bi and I was there with non straight friends.
One of the things I really liked about being there was that men didn’t hit on me. Heck, even my husband didn’t try to pick me up there. I wouldn’t be married to him now if he did.
I’m a straight man, when I was into dancing, I used to love going to gay clubs because I could dance without women automatically thinking I was hitting on them, I just wanted to dance. Creeps like this fuck things up for everyone
Two things:
a.) you're overthinking that every woman at a straight club is automatically thinking you're hitting on them. Most other guys are busy doing that.
b.) You have zero balls and need to get your testosterone checked.
It's honestly such a huge problem in Vancouver many, many gay bars have turned straight because
Step one: straight women go to gay bars to escape men who are gross
Step two: straight women push out lesbians for hitting on them because yah know it's a gay bar
Step three: straight men find the bar and move in for the straight women then push out the gay men
I know of at least 3 that this happened to
I’ve also seen the issue with straight girls going into queer spaces and acting like fools too.
I’ve been at a gay bar and gotten sexually harassed by a whole bachelorette party. Like…some things aren’t FOR straight people but by god they are going to colonize them.
You can tell this guy has never been to a gay bar because they'll straight up grope your ass & stuff. They skip the hitting on you part a lot of the time
This guy is the reason why I stopped going to gay clubs. I used to go there with friends because we felt safe there. We could dance, socialize, meet people, all without fear of being groped/assaulted/harassed. But that all stopped when dudes like this started showing up. Haven't been out since because it's emotionally, mentally, physically exhausting to have to be on guard ALL THE TIME instead of just enjoying yourself with your friends and meeting new friends.
I went to a gay club to celebrate my divorce. There were more straight men and couples on the hunt for a unicorn than anything. Ended up getting harassed a few times that night and I haven't been back.
okay, sure. I mean women go to gay clubs for the sole purpose of being picked up by straight/bi guys. I mean, it's not like we think of those clubs as safe spaces where we can dance, and party with our gay friends without worrying about a strange dude interrupting. We don't go there because we don't want to worry about stuff in our drinks or having fun, safely.
Arschkopf.
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>Ahhhh the go-to, tried and true “call him a incel!” You call him a creep then you LITERALLY CREEPED his post history. Someone help me make sense of this ha. So I think I’m fully within my rights to call you a creep.
Lol
As a straight woman, that is literally the worst part of gay clubs. I go to gay clubs to dance and have fun without worrying about having my drink spiked
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **If you're a straight man, going to gay bars to pick up women is the best decision you could make** As a guy who has been clubbing for a long ass time, the easiest places with zero competition to hook up with women are gay bars. Holy fuck, it's a goldmine. I've met so many bored af straight women who hang out at gay bars since their friends pulled them there. It's ironically a straight paradise. **Here are my tips of you're trying to date or pickup at a gay bar:** I usually get warmed up by talking to everyone first. This is mostly gay guys. Once I chat up a few peeps, I've probably gotten hit on at least once lol. Let's say I see a girl. 9 times out of 10, she's with her friends. Her friends are gay 90% of the time. They think I'm gay since, lo and behold, I'm at a gay club. I don't approach my girl directly. Usually, I spot something "quirky" on one of her friend's clothes or a tattoo I think is interesting. I go off that and open her friends. For example, "Excuse me, I know this is super random, but your friend has the most adorable, NYC look I've seen all day! I swear to god he/she is going down a catwalk." If they're bored, I usually go with the scripted, "You guys look like the most fun people I've seen all night". Since gay clubs are inherently more upbeat, social venues (far more than normal str8 nightclubs), most of the time they swallow it up. After that, I chat up the group. My overall goal is to isolate the girl, but in the meantime, I fluff up the group and make everyone like me. She doesn't usually ask if I'm gay, who I'm with, etc. The friends do that. When it comes to that, I usually go with a simple "I'm bi, leaning straight." Even though I'm fully straight to "I'm with a friend, but he's so fucked up right now. I swear to god I lost him near the beginning of the night." They may ask if I texted him, but I just say we're troublemakers and this happens often. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“My overall goal is to isolate the girl” I don’t like dating strategies where I can’t tell if the person is getting advice from their friends or their local serial killer.
That dude’s openly admitting to behaving like a fucking predatory animal and he doesn’t even find it weird or off-putting or else he wouldn’t boast about it. Embarrassing.
Maybe it’s because I’m older and people were more homophobic when I was young but most straight men would avoid gay bars because they feared gay men would be as predatory towards them as they are to women. I hope this guy has had at least a few of his hunting trips ruined by a guy who bothered him all night and tried to isolate him. I’m skeptical of the story also because most women know the dangers of leaving a wasted friend alone in a club and wouldn’t be interested in someone who admitted to doing that.
Because of the implication.
Wait I'm confused, are you gonna hurt these women?
[jaw flex]
I was immediately reminded of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.
>She doesn't usually ask if I'm gay, who I'm with, etc. The friends do that. When it comes to that, I usually go with a simple "I'm bi, leaning straight." As a bi woman, using this to prey on a woman is pretty fucking disgusting. She likely feels safer being there and he's weaponizing that sense of security and using it against her.
Also, very few actually bi people would describe themselves as “leaning straight”, from another bi woman
Yeah, unless it’s a deeper conversation people don’t usually open with where they “lean” anyway. Guy’s either trying to ease his conscience about lying by not fully committing to the lie, or on some level he thinks bi men don’t date/aren’t appealing to women.
Or it could be that he's trying te seem less into guys in case any of the guy friends of the girl he's preying on happen to be interested. What a creep and asshole. I also do not buy that this works as well as he says it does. I'll believe he sometimes gets numbers- and even then it's probably not always just the one girl's number- but considering that his little story doesn't go any further than sharing his sexuality with the group, he's not "picking up girls," at the gay bars. 🤦
It may just be me but Ive also never said I "leaned" anywhere. Im just bi. There is no straight or gay about where I am. I am bisexual. Maybe Ill say a preference for dating women but that isnt even entirely true. Most of my relationships have been with other women, sure but I didnt plan it that way and its not because Im more "gay than straight" thats just... how it happened. Ive met more women I felt compatible with than men by random chance. Im spending the rest of my days (🤞) monogamously with a man and I wouldnt consider that as me "leaning straight". The person I chose to marry just happened to be a man. I dont get to pick who I met when and how often I meet them nor who I am attracted to. Its just is what it is.
I'm bi and I lean against walls sometimes, does that count? /s
I think if you don’t lean against enough walls (or sit weirdly on enough seats) they rescind your Bi Card, right?
I'm bi but I'm really bad at leaning because my balance is awful!
I mean I’m bi and lean increasingly lesbian, no idea why that could be 🫠
Yeah, that struck me as really gross as well. Just tired old anti-bi rhetoric. I’m not 50% gay and 50% straight, I’m 100% bisexual.
I mean I don't think just stating that you have a preference is anti bi, as long as you don't force other bi people to also describe themselves in such a way. If anyone asks me my orientation, I would tell them I'm bi but mostly gay, since I feel that reflects best how I feel.
I classified myself as mostly straight before, but that's bc every man I've been with dont believ im straight "every women ls a little bi" citing drunk girls make out with drunk girls
>on some level he thinks bi men don’t date/aren’t appealing to women. He's not wrong. Surveys have shown that more than 50% of ***bisexual*** women wouldn't sleep with a man if they knew he had slept with other men. That figure is even higher for straight women.
That is… so gross. I find bi or pan men so much more appealing. It’s like they already speak the language and get parts of the culture.
only time I ever said things similar was when I was super uncomfortable with my sexuality so assumed everyone else would be too (I was also a teenager)
I know exactly one person who describes themselves that way. Because they're in a committed straight passing relationship and thought that made them less bi.
I'm also a bi woman. I read that line and thought "sir, I will kill you."
I'm a bi woman and I will dig the hole.
I am a bi woman and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole Dig diggy hole
I am ace not bi and only sort of woman, but I will give you guys an alibi.
Bi enby, and I’ll obfuscate the forensics.
Queer lawyer, I’ll defend you all
Dig a hole? No, we can just rustle up some homesteader wlw and source a few pigs. Way easier!
Same.. I would have to fight the intense urge to slap him
Damn what a psycho
I'm a straight woman, I'll help. We don't want him, either.
I had a highschool friend who would do just that. He and his friend would pretend they’re a gay couple or bi to pick up girls who thought they simply wanted some company to have fun with. And then, when the girls had the guard down they’d put the moves on them and tell them they were really into women. Gross memory unlocked.
It reminds me of a guy from a friend group (he's not in there anymore). He told all the girls that he is gay, absolutely nor straight, no interest in women etc. So when he was drunk, I thought he's just a bit sloppy. Turns out, he told the guys in our friend group something else and that in fact he is bi with stronger interest in women. Same guy always talked bad about new partners in our friend group
Good strat, but he fucked up by telling them "he was really into women". If you want a better strategy, make it appear this is a rare and special occasion. It may be bullshit, but at least the girl feels special.
Oh, you dig far enough in his comments, he gets worse. He basically believes that lesbians are really just bi, and will cheat/sleep with the right guy (him of course). But he likes them a good 10 years younger than him if not just old enough to drink. He is so beyond ick into I want to find a way to report him to somebody, ideally cops because my gut says some of his "body count" that he sort of talks about, (of you believe he actually has one) may not have been sober enough to consent the first time.
LMAO, none of this is illegal. Hell, one of my best friends is an ex police officer. He doesn't give a shit either. While he doesn't go to gay bars, he thinks the concept of going there to pick up straight chicks is hilarious.
Well, my days of not trusting police officers are certainly coming to a middle.
100%
I find it odd that hitting on a woman and seeing if she wants to have consensual sex is seem as such a predatory and violent thing. Like I thought we weren't supposed to demonize a person's sexuality, but maybe that was never a universal thing and only ever a "me" thing
He lies about his sexuality to give his target a false sense of security (in that she thinks she’s making a new friend and not getting hit on) and states verbatim that”[his] overall goal is to isolate the girl.” If your hookup strategy explicitly involves lying to and isolating the person you want to have sex with, then that SHOULD be demonized! That’s demon behavior!
Lol what a puritan. Also, yeah--how the fuck do you intend to make moves in-front of her friends? Weirdest shit ever.
Except he's very explicit about flirting with her and wanting to hook up with her. And everyone's flirting "strategy" involves isolating the person, having one on one time is pretty essential in this whole process. I still don't see what's so evil and violent about this
OOP is one of those Andrew Tate weirdos as per his post/comment history. The rest of us in this thread are picking up on those predatory vibes in the way he’s describing his actions. He doesn’t appear to think women are actually people and his “strategy” reflects that. That’s what’s disgusting.
You literally have zero argument. I'm going to *This Is It* on Friday. Best gay bar in Milwaukee with bored straight women
I could not give less of a shit. Hope you find something that fixes the hole in your heart one day instead of trying to patch it with alpha podcasts and meaningless sex.
But what is predatory about seeking consensual sex? It just sounds like think a heterosexual man's sexuality is inherently violent and predatory. And I thought we all agreed it was bad to think like when society had these same exact views of gay mens sexuality. But apparently that was only for being gay and being straight is just bad I guess
The deception part. And the part where his framework is that m/f sex is a thing that a man does to a woman rather than a thing that a man and a woman do together, as evidenced by OOP’s entire posting history. There’s nothing *inherently* predatory about a man seeking consensual sex. However, OOP is lying to create a situation where the woman is more likely to assent to sex than she would be if he was honest. Legally, that’s not considered consent because the assent is obtained via fraud or deception. *That* is predatory.
I guess we'll just never agree then. Because I just don't see how lying about being bi is predatory, I don't see how it hurts anyone, and I don't see how being bi vs straight would change your consent to have sex with them. It's bad to lie but I just don't see this lie as extreme as you do. To me it seems like someone saying a woman is a predator because she lied about how many people she's had sex with. To me that seems equally ridiculous as claiming this guy is a predator because he's saying he's bi when he's straight. To me calling someone a predator is a very serious accusation that says they are a threat to those around them, I just don't see how this lie makes this guy a threat to anybody
You need to look at the context. For example, OOP thinks Andrew Tate, a man currently on trial for running an organized sex trafficking operation, is a super duper guy with correct opinions (he literally has a post that says “Tate was right”). OOP’s viewpoints are fundamentally influencing his actions. It’s not this specific interaction in isolation that is being called out as predatory, it’s the pattern of behavior and attitude towards women and sexual encounters where the lying is one example.
People are calling him predatory because he is treating dating like a hunt; he is literally pursuing a predator/prey strategy. He is misrepresenting and camouflaging himself in order to get close to his prey (pretending to be bi, pretending to be interested in her friends, pretending he is enjoying talking to the whole group, pretending he is there with a friend - literally his entire approach is non-stop misrepresentation). His goal is to cut her out of the herd and isolate her. Having gotten her in a more vulnerable position, without her friends there to help her out, he will then (presumably) attempt to escalate things to having sex with her. And a guy that will approach entirely based on deception like this guy did is not going to get squeamish about using pressure tactics or worse once he’s isolated his prey and moved in for the kill. The fact that he’s thinking about it in those terms is all there in his wording and approach.
Ya it's a good tactic tbh
Something a predator would say.
No, it’s not. It’s predatory and gross. Go to straight bars, women expect and are prepared to be picked up there.
Seeing that you think ATate is right, I understand why you would approve of predatory tactics. I'm only surprised you'll allow yourself to even hint at being anything other than an aLpHAaAA
Bi woman here, everybody hates the guy that does this. At best it’s just sort of hopeless and at worst it’s really creepy.
Seriously, and it's particularly weird because most people at a club are drunk. I'm a (mostly) straight guy and stick to straight clubs, and even then I'm still careful because I'm not trying to hurt anyone. Whether it's me hitting on a woman or a woman hitting on me, if I can tell that either of us are drunk it's "Here's a glass of water and my number, hit me up tomorrow"
Now, see, you have the “normal human being” reaction of only wanting to sleep with someone who also wants to sleep with you. OOP doesn’t think women are people and gives off major rape fetish vibes. I’m pretty sure his “targets” being drunk is a bonus for him.
God but I wish your attitude was more common. Thank you for being a good person!
I swear it's so sad how low the bar is right now. I was talking to a friend about this and we both observed how we'd get all these compliments and told how great we are for things that should just be normal I don't say this to impress anyone, it's just that I absolutely hate how things are and I really shouldn't be getting called a good person because I think it's bad to sexually assault drunk women. Women should be looking for a funny, cute, nice guy but instead they're like "you look alright and you won't rape me, here's my number"
Your username really suits you as a person. In my experience, getting phone numbers at nightclubs is next to worthless. There's a low chance you'll hang out again due to intoxication, her meeting literally dozens of dudes that night, etc. The only exceptions to the rule in my experience are raves and festivals.
Bro if I don't ever see them again that's fine though. I'd 10000% rather not get laid than end up sexually assaulting a woman who is only agreeing because she's drunk
This is sad. I remember going to a gay bar as a teenage girl (I'm bi, but back then I thought I was straight and was indeed accompanying a gay friend) and had such a positive experience because the guys I chatted with weren't interested in me, and it all felt so... friendly and *safe*. I got a little too drunk and a guy put me in a cab home. I remember wishing I could honestly just hang out there, but also didn't want to take up a space that wasn't designed for me. It's sad to think that gay clubs are popular with straight women because they are a safe haven from straight men, and this guy is going there to keep on creeping on women.
It’s a real time example of why some clubs let attractive women in for free - they don’t do it for the women, they do it to get the men who will pay to hang out near and shoot their shot with the attractive women. The women are bait.
I saw a saying somewhere that goes like this: "If the service is free for you, you are the product". And I feel that bars/clubs that let women in for free are behaving like that, kinda creepy
Ironically, one of my friends took me to a gay bar. She had to pay a $10 cover fee. I got in for free.
I used to go to one, back in the day. I went with two gay women, and I'm a straight woman. I was so naive, and only when looking back I realised those two women were bodyguarding me. If ANYone came over to me, those two women just saw them right off. I've never had a safer experience than clubbing with those two women. I loved them dearly. Edit: but y'know, unless the place is hugely popular, you aren't "taking up a space that wasn't designed" for you. You're just going out and being safe and having a good time. I hope anyone else reading these posts realises that we can do that.
I'm a straight ace woman ... and loved gay bars because no one was looking to chat me up. They liked to talk, and sometimes ask who I thought was pretty, but thats it. No flirting, no bothering me. Exactly what you said.
What we need is women-only bars and clubs. Men admitted only as women’s plus ones.
Isn't this what happened to a west Hollywood gaybar? Straight women trying to avoid creeps flooded in, drawing in straight men. Next thing you know straight guys are mad because they're getting hit on by gay men at a GAY BAR. lmaoooo. Edit: hope I don't offend anyone here. It was something I read about once in passing, might have been an article. By creeps I don't mean guys in general, but actual creeps. Guys who don't take no, grope women is what I meant.
Those guys are upset because gay guys treat them exactly how they treat women.
Yes! They feel threatened in a gay bar, and a lot of them don't understand that that's how they make women feel.
or they do understand it, but think that's what women are 'for.' though I hold out hope that there are more who are clueless like your comment than there are evil ones like mine.
Oh I've definitely seen the light dawn in the eyes of several men over the decades. I've never had a reply along the lines of, "And what's your point?" Maybe I've just been luckier than some, but I do know your ones exist too.
There has also been problems with straight women going to gay bars and getting offended when they’re flirted with by lesbians
My advice to any lesbians who are uncomfortable approaching women in those environments is to make point of hitting on all straight women who go to gay bars for that reason. It helps them get over the fear of being rejected, if my strategy takes off, these women will be uncomfortable and stop trying to take over queer spaces and expecting everyone to accommodate them. If you don’t want to get hit on by someone of the same sex, don’t go to gay bars.
ehhhh i don’t know that hitting on someone specifically to make them uncomfortable is a great strategy
If you’re a woman in a gay bar, you are signaling that you are comfortable being approached by women. If being hit on by women in a gay bar makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t be going to gay bars. If straight women want a place to go where they don’t have worry about being hit on by men, then they should create these spaces. Gay bars came into being because gay people did this exact same thing, often at great physical risk to themselves. It’s not at all uncommon to hear about queer people feeling pushed out of queer spaces because straight women have decided to make them their safe space.
“if my strategy takes off, these women will be uncomfortable” - you. hitting on *anyone* specifically to make them uncomfortable is not a good move. i’ve been hit on by lots of women and it’s only been a few times that it’s been uncomfortable. and it’s the woman hitting on me that makes it that way. don’t be that woman, it’s gross.
I’m a happily settled lesbian so I don’t hit on anyway, thank you for your concern. I do, however, hear from lots of other WLW who mistakenly approach a straight woman in a gay club and are met with disgust. I’m assuming these women aren’t being creepy because they do fine approaching other women and because the response is usually someone like “I’m not *gay*” and/or a look of disgust/contempt. It’s bad enough that a lot of women are now uncomfortable approaching other women in gay bars. The few places that women who are attracted to women *can* safely approach their preferred gender? And, again, I’m still struggling to see the problem with what I said. Did I suggest that anyone be intentionally creepy? I just said approach them. If they’re not homophobic, they’ll be okay with saying, “Thank you, but I’m not interested.” If they are homophobes who are creeped out by women hitting on them and who are taking over spaces of people they’re disgusted by, then yes, they’ll be uncomfortable and they won’t come back. Because, with all due respect, you have really latched hard onto the idea that straight woman might be made uncomfortable by a lesbian hitting on her in a gay bar and you are lecturing me, a lesbian, about how I should behave in a gay bar. And, if nothing else, you have to appreciate the fact that, while discussing how queer people feel pushed out of queer spaces by straight women, I’m being lectured by what I’m fairly sure is a straight person. And if that’s not the case, then I’m legitimately glad that at least one queer person’s experience has been positive enough in these contexts (and in general) that you’re pushing back so hard on the idea that straight women in a gay bar have to accept that women may hit on them, even if they’re uncomfortable with it. Because that has not been the experience of lesbians I’ve talked to who do go to gay bars. General gay bars often aren’t the most inclusive for lesbians in general and they’re more of an afterthought or tolerated group, but in smaller areas, they take what they can get. I’ve seen many people in these situations talk about how being pushed out by straight women who were offended at the existence of lesbians was the last straw. These women have reason to be in gay clubs.
It happens to them all. The straights rotate through them in my city. There's always talk about which clubs to avoid because of them.
You reminded me of the Tumblr story of [the Gay Avenger](https://www.tumblr.com/toastedpopsicle/49403922346/frodosbois-toroheicho-kangarudy?source=share)
Yes
The good news is that this is almost certainly the fantasy of some loser who fancies himself as a pick up artist (most of whom are, themselves, a bunch of losers who fool other losers with fantasies that they're successful pick up artists). Since the alternative is a predatory arsehole who ruins gay bars for everybody, the better option is a deluded arsehole who wanks himself to sleep over the idea of other men believing the image of himself he squirts into his Reddit posts.
I mean it is a parody subreddit really
No. For fuck’s sake. If you’re a cishet dude looking for a straight woman, DO NOT go to gay bars. The women there are going to be queer or if they aren’t, they are there to +not+ get hit on by men. Either way, they don’t want a predatory cishet dude invading their space. (Non-predatory cishet dudes who are allies or partners of queer people are always welcome.)
I bet he also complains about how women don’t trust men anymore.
Oh it’s that terrible dude again lol
This is literally just him reposting the exact same thing he posted like a week or so ago. He just copy/pasted it.
Normalise getting these guys thrown out when they appear. I have done, and will continue to do - usually security at queer venues is more than happy to throw out predatory straight guys with very little dispute.
Why is a straight man hitting on a woman and seeing if she wants to have consensual sex a predatory monster?
Because that's not really what he's doing? He's lying, which means no true consent is possible. It's not real consent if you don't know what you're actually consenting to.
LMAO loser thinks directly asking the chick if she wants to have sex is a viable (and the only acceptable) strategy. No, it's all body language and non-verbals.
That's not remotely what I said.
There's no law that states lying to get sex is illegal. I don't care about your make up rules and justifications. I wipe my ass with them. What I do care about, however, is what objectively works.
But its not a relevant lie. Like based on what you're saying there's practically never true consent when two people hook up after a night out at the club
It is relevant. He's misrepresenting his sexuality, what's more relevant to sex than that?
I don't see how being bi but mostly straight is much different than being straight. Sure he shouldn't about that but it's not that big of a deal especially if he's just trying to hook up
You wanted to know what makes his action predatory. He's camouflaging himself to spring an ambush. That's different from normal flirting.
How is he doing that? What is this "ambush" you're even talking about? Again you're just saying that being a man attracted to women makes you a predator by default
He is disguising himself as bi to seem like he belongs in a gay bar: Camouflage, so he can get close to a woman not expecting to get hit on because it is, again, a gay bar: Ambush. I am talking about this specific scenario, not men in general.
Ok, but you understand you're trying to explain it by using predatory, hunting language. This is about conquest, not two people coming together equally, and because you are viewing women as prey you are falsely approaching them.
Yeah I just don't see it the same way you do. It honestly doesn't sound like you know what being bi is and it's weird that you think a straight woman would belong in a gay club either then
Okay, so first: that never happened to me. Second: that's why you go undercover to prevent that from ever occurring. Blend in with the crowd. That's why when I hit up my girl, it seems natural, like she's a cool chick and I'm a cool guy. (Even though I planned this all along.) If you're a guy thinking of hitting up straight chicks at bars, I'd strongly advise never going direct.
Oh, little man. It's adorable that you think these pick up tactics are a good way to live. Toddle back off to your expensive conventions where douchebags take your money and you get to socialise with lots of other guys and never really have a decent conversation with a woman and treat them like meat and the guys like gods... Actually, gay bars are probably what you need. Yep. Head back to the gay bars, be brave and talk to that twink. Future you will be grateful.
you deserve nothing but the worst. you're a disgusting man and not even your mother loves you
lol salty
You should focus on not being outted as a asian fetishizer and creep who goes after just legal girls rather than preying on women at bars. Just a reminder you post history is public on this app
i feel like there's a much more simple way to have sex with people at a gay bar that requires much less strategy and pre-planning and an entire gamefaqs guide on how to do the run. you just have to let go of that whole "straight" thing
the real one weird trick to hooking up with women at a gay bar is to also be a woman
[Response to this technique from awesome gay man.](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/imuc93/gay_avenger/)
LONG LIVE THE GAY AVENGER XDDDDDDD
I was hoping for a leather daddy, but this is just as good. In fact, this post led to my partner and I having a brief discussion about why leather daddies are exactly what the world needs.
> “your friend has the most adorable NYC look I’ve seen all day! I swear to god he/she is going down a catwalk” For someone who allegedly stalks gay bars to harass women he has no idea how gay people talk. If you said that in real life you would be laughed at
Trying to hit on women at a gay bar seems like a good way to get punched by a lesbian
I had to scroll this far for this comment. My sweet wife broke some assholes nose once because of behavior described by oop.
Yeah, the assumption in the comments that this automatically means a bar with only gay men and straight women is very strange. Lesbian bars don’t really exist much anymore, so we tend to go to general gay bars a lot more than we used to, I believe.
She broke his nose for flirting with her? Damn hope she doesn't treat you like that too
Given that what OOP is suggesting goes farther than just "hey beautiful, can I buy you a drink? no? okay then; have a good night" I'm going to assume this man was making a nuisance of himself well beyond brief flirting.
What exactly is he doing that warrants a broken nose? Talking to people? Mildly lying to them? If a woman is hitting on me is it ok for me to break her nose because I want her to leave me alone? Like come on this is an insane reaction to someone being annoying and the other commenter should leave her partner before she gets her nose broken by this psycho too
If someone is **persistently harassing you** the way OOP suggests, and won't leave you alone when told to do so- as I'm assuming this man wouldn't (or else why escalate to violence?), then yes. Regardless of gender, I would understand throwing a punch. We women have no more reason to expect endless grace from men, if we sexually harass them and won't take No for an answer, than the other way around. Punching in response to, "hey, can I buy you a drink?" No. Punching in response to "I'm going to hit on you endlessly and refuse to take rejection?" Understandable.
So where does it say anyone is being harassed for such a long time? Because it looks like the guy is acting pretty normal with talking to a whole group then flirting with one woman to try to hook up with her But let's be real I highly doubt you'd be chill with watching a man break a woman's nose because she was simply annoying him. Honestly this sounds the response an unhinged abuser would have
If you think the kind of guy who says things like “isolate the woman“ and advocates straight men going to gay bars expressly to pick up women is going to stop at basic civil conversation and then asking someone out, and back off gracefully if she says no, I have a bridge I would like to sell you. Regardless, my point stands: I would be OK with someone punching a person who was harassing them under the same circumstances regardless of gender. Doesn’t mean I’d be OK with it if the person was “just annoying them“ as you say, but. Come on. I find it hard to believe that’s all this guy would do. Based on personal experience, it seems vastly more likely to me that this commenter’s wife was being harassed (in her own community’s safe space) by a homophobic asshole and resorted to punching only when he wouldn’t leave her alone.
Yeah ok what would this guy be doing that is more than just annoying? And based on personal experience it seems vastly more likely that the guy was just being annoying and that persons wife is a violent abusive person who lashed out at a socially acceptable victim of her violent abusive tendencies
It was far more than just annoying. He followed us out of the club and tried to corner us. He began getting angry because I was "rejecting him"... then he threatened to SA me to make me straight. So he got his nose broke and while he was howling in pain and outrage, we ran and managed to jump into a cab.
Fr, she sounds like a psychopath
That's why you don't go direct. Be subtle. You can find out plenty of things via conversation.
Or do be direct, but don't try to hit on women at gay bars where there's a very good chance that they're either gay (shocker!) or there to avoid male attention. Either way, very few women there will be interested, especially if you do the whole sneaky rigamarole OOP suggests.
Definitely not in my experience lol The most bored people I've ever seen in a gay club are straight women. It's funny people mention this, but it "isn't their space", as the LGBT community puts it. Typically, their gay friends dragged them there and they're aching for any sort of attention by a cool, interesting guy.
Unfortunately they get stuck with you instead. The exact opposite of a cool, interesting guy. An internet troll who’s greatest accomplishment in his life is making someone angry for a day at most, before being forgotten about completely, just like your impact in your everyday life
His advice isn’t ”gay bar” specific - but lifted from the How to Creep Woman Out Once They Are Old Enough to Have Self-Esteem and See Through Your Shit Handbook.
It’s amazing how much you can get hit on by men in a gay bar. I used to always shock men by telling them that I was gay…that’s why I was there… And the girl I’m with? Yeah, we’re together.
This guy proving once again that sexuality isn’t a choice. I wouldn’t be attracted to straight men if I had any say in it. But my bisexuality is taking a hard gay turn seeing this.
It's very telling how straight men basically approach dating as a hunting. There's no mutual respect. There's no actual consideration of her feelings. There's no genuine interest in a woman. There's no time to develop a fun interaction. Instead almost all morning advice is about finding some way to trick her into interaction... as if a woman is the obstacle. ☹️
Isn't like a known fact that straight women at gay bars don't usually wanna get hit on by men. Also yeah, "I'm bi but leaning straight" is definitely how queer people talk.
Why can't creepy men like OOP leave us alone?! I've never been to a gay bar, but if I invited I would go for sure just to be able to dance and not worry about creepy men hitting on or assaulting me. But, losers like OOP ruin everything
omg hes ruining everything!!1!1! /s /s /s Yeah, chatting up bored straight women at a gay club is a crime.
Straight men don’t belong in queer spaces. You have literally everywhere else. Queer people deserve to exist in the limited places they have without men using it as yet another opportunity to prey on women. The same guys that do this will be the guys that get mad if a man hits on them in the gay club. It’s pathetic and it’s disgusting. Walk outside, turn to the left or right, and go to literally any other bar within walking distance because it will undoubtedly be a straight bar.
That's funny, because I hear straight women going to gay bars is considered distasteful because it also "isn't their space". Nevertheless, there's literally zero competition. Therefore, I wipe my ass with your "space" opinion and will continue to visit gay bars to hook up with women.
Yes, that’s correct. I don’t think straight women should be there either. And I highly doubt you’ll be hooking up with anyone.
God, isn't inclusion nice? No dumb laws or rules that ban me from visiting a gay club
I don’t know why you seem so worked up about it. Your incessant desire to go to a gay club despite claiming to be there for women is interesting.
I'm not worked up over it, but the responses are hilarious af
You sound extremely emotional and are using this as a way to release some of that energy.
How many times have you actually had sex that you still treat this one experience you had as some great novelty lol. You sound both down bad and horrifically inexperienced. Tell me did any of these supposed women stay in contact with you? You reak of insecurity lol Edit: like novelty dating techniques are the realm of the DEEPLY insecure lol
Going to gay bars to pick up women is just one of my many strategies. If you're looking to hook up with women with little to no competition, I'd also advise going to a college campus as a non-student. If you can travel, going to the Philippines can easily rack you a huge notch count within an absurdly short amount of time. Also, it varies: sometimes I'd get phone numbers, sometimes I'd get makeouts, and sometimes I'd get laid. All in all, picking up women at a gay bar has a higher chance of success than going out to a typical straight bar since there's far, far less competition.
Okay name the other strategies then. Novel dating strategies are the realm of the insecure who can't date normally. This is unambiguous. Being a trashy sex tourist is not impressive either lol. "Go onto college campuses and bang dumbass college kids" is how you get STDs, mediocre sex, and a lot of drama. All you're telling me is that you're too insecure to date normally, so you have to rely on power dynamics and inexperience to try and bang. This is a sign of weakness and not strength lol, like massive weakness. "Going to gaybars has more success than normal bars" Once again telling me that ur too insecure to actually date normally. All you've done is broadcast your abject weakness lol
Lol I don't care about "abject weakness". I care about what works. I also have an easier time dating women my own age, but I typically don't go out of my way to talk to them. Why? Because as a woman ages, her skin sags, she becomes progressively less attractive. Why would I opt for that when there's a hot, young 19 - 21 year old I can talk to?
Also what is your "bodycount", and how many of those women still talk to you lol
36 and no, since I move around a ton
Move around a ton? I move around just as much and still get lewds from the many people ive fucked, or phone sex or whatever. My fiancee and I literally have an international group of simps. You're once again telling on yourself, people tend to stick around if they like you, hint hint. You sound like a pua who doesn't understand the actual best parts of sex, which you are.
psychotic brave selective plant one judicious fanatical rainstorm compare seemly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I fucking hate straight dudes in gay bars. They don’t know how to act AT ALL
I mean, be subtle and go indirect? I've made a ton of "friends" at gay bars by simply being chill.
Something tells me this guy listens to so called "dating gurus/experts" but never actually tried talking to a woman much less hit on her
I remember this one, the guy is an absolute shitposting tool. There's not a chance he's being honest about *any* of it.
People like OOP are the biggest reason (aside from straight women deciding to spend their bachelorette parties in them 🙄) why we barely have any good queer exclusive bars or clubs these days
This is usually the end of a gay club. I've seen many go through the same life cycle: a new place opens > gay ppl start attending > straight girls frequent it because they feel safer there > straight dudes find out and go to hook up with girls > it's not safe anymore > it dies.
I feel like I read some serial killer's diary.
"My overall goal is to isolate the girl" Yikes. This is literally the tactic employed by wolves or lions. They creep up on a herd of grazing animals, bison or white tailed deer in North America or zebras or wildebeest in Africa, and the herd panics and runs. The first charge causes chaos but thats what the hunters want. In the melee the alpha selects a target and the wolves/lionesses converge and bring down their target.
And yet it’s not the tactic they use when mating, meaning that their social skills are far superior to OOPs.
That is a very nice observation, thank you.
This why we can't have nice things
I'm a bisexual woman. Willing to bet I'm a bit older than this stupid wee cunt. Would also cheerfully step in if I saw this type of manipulative shite being pulled on someone else and point it out. And so would my partner and friends. These stupid little twats think they've a new scheme. Happened when I was a teenager too. Happened many years before that as well. It's not original or a suddenly genius decision, it's an ancient and easily spotted play that will more than likely end with you thrown out the club. Like is the OP 14??? How young and dumb do you have to be to think this is an idea? Absolutely hilarious.
Lmao, you genuinely wouldn't know. It simply looks like a cool guy is hanging out with a group of friends. There's no overt manipulation. I engage the group and then my girl if the opportunity arises.
I wouldn't have known when I was fifteen, maybe. I learnt long ago to avoid this shit. You're much less smart than you think you are. And calling yourself a "cool guy" is hilarious. Grow up.
Zzzz gunna hit up a gay bar again on Friday
Cool, have fun with that, but from your "theories" I doubt you're old enough to even get into one.
To be fair, I (a straight woman) did meet my husband at a gay bar. But he really is bi and I was there with non straight friends. One of the things I really liked about being there was that men didn’t hit on me. Heck, even my husband didn’t try to pick me up there. I wouldn’t be married to him now if he did.
>After that, I chat up the group. My overall goal is to isolate the girl, but in the meantime, I fluff up the group and make everyone like me 😳🤢😳
I’m a straight man, when I was into dancing, I used to love going to gay clubs because I could dance without women automatically thinking I was hitting on them, I just wanted to dance. Creeps like this fuck things up for everyone
Two things: a.) you're overthinking that every woman at a straight club is automatically thinking you're hitting on them. Most other guys are busy doing that. b.) You have zero balls and need to get your testosterone checked.
Found the incel!
Oh he's coping **hard** all over the thread. It's cute in a completely unfuckable way.
omg guys hes coping so hard omg completely unfuckable!!1!! /s /s /s Yeah, telling moral busybodies how it genuinely works is such a crime.
FoUnD tHe InCeL! Literally you.
What? I'm married, dude
Aw look at the Incel being stupid everyone!!
Sigh. Bait. Don’t take the bait.
OOP feeling his full fantasy today. Take it to wattpad sir.
Shit, not him again!
Assuming that the woman in the group is straight is just wild of this dude.
There is zero chance this man has ever been to a club, gay or straight.
Getting Holden Caulfield vibes from this dude
It's honestly such a huge problem in Vancouver many, many gay bars have turned straight because Step one: straight women go to gay bars to escape men who are gross Step two: straight women push out lesbians for hitting on them because yah know it's a gay bar Step three: straight men find the bar and move in for the straight women then push out the gay men I know of at least 3 that this happened to
I’ve also seen the issue with straight girls going into queer spaces and acting like fools too. I’ve been at a gay bar and gotten sexually harassed by a whole bachelorette party. Like…some things aren’t FOR straight people but by god they are going to colonize them.
Acting like they’re at the zoo viewing the animals
You can tell this guy has never been to a gay bar because they'll straight up grope your ass & stuff. They skip the hitting on you part a lot of the time
This guy is the reason why I stopped going to gay clubs. I used to go there with friends because we felt safe there. We could dance, socialize, meet people, all without fear of being groped/assaulted/harassed. But that all stopped when dudes like this started showing up. Haven't been out since because it's emotionally, mentally, physically exhausting to have to be on guard ALL THE TIME instead of just enjoying yourself with your friends and meeting new friends.
I went to a gay club to celebrate my divorce. There were more straight men and couples on the hunt for a unicorn than anything. Ended up getting harassed a few times that night and I haven't been back.
It's ragebait, look at his post history.
As a gay man, please stop abusing our safe venues as a way to make women feel unsafe. Hot take, but that shit is fucking gross.
okay, sure. I mean women go to gay clubs for the sole purpose of being picked up by straight/bi guys. I mean, it's not like we think of those clubs as safe spaces where we can dance, and party with our gay friends without worrying about a strange dude interrupting. We don't go there because we don't want to worry about stuff in our drinks or having fun, safely. Arschkopf.
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>Ahhhh the go-to, tried and true “call him a incel!” You call him a creep then you LITERALLY CREEPED his post history. Someone help me make sense of this ha. So I think I’m fully within my rights to call you a creep. Lol
As a straight woman, that is literally the worst part of gay clubs. I go to gay clubs to dance and have fun without worrying about having my drink spiked