Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I ignore my ILs when they do not use my actual name when talking to me or calling me. I have done this in front of other people as well and that is mostly why I wonder if I'm TA, because I know others are probably weirded out and uncomfortable by that drama. This might mean I am rude to more than just my ILs when they are rude to me.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - or you can ramp it up a notch and call them something completely different than their names. you could literally call them MIL and FIL tell them that works better for you. Or Elenore and Richard - those sound like grown up names.
And make sure to call them the wrong names in front of others, like their friends. I have a feeling they will feeling embarrassed and disrespected, tho from the sounds of it I don’t know if they will truly get the point. May get them to make the change and call you the right name anyway tho just to stop you
Na they will go straight with offended. More so when she points out that this is the exact thing they do to her. Boomers really don't like the taste of their hypocrisy.
I’m glad you took it well :) It’s definitely one of those words in the English language that can get confusing on which one is used for which situation 💜
>It’s definitely one of those words in the English language that can get confusing on which one is used for which situation
Well, I appreciate you keeping up the good fight on correct English, but considering how many people on here don't even know the difference between then and than, I fear it may be a losing battle lol.
Or they're and their, you're and your, and it's and its. The possessive pronoun does NOT have an apostrophe. Only the contraction does. I'm seeing those errors in novels now. It breaks my grammatically correct heart.
(I mentioned this in another comment before I saw yours) what about the apostrophes on plurals? Those are more and more common, like we went from no apostrophes to abusing them instead of just learning where to put them
Maybe they meant queue, as in it's patiently waiting line behind all the other ridiculously out of touch explanations like how they paid for college with a part-time summer job, and bought a house and raised a family on a single income, and kids these days don't want to work and listen to too much pokemans and should get off my lawn!!!
How do you know the ages of the ages of the in-laws? They might have been born in 1965 or 1970 - that's Gen X. Idiotic behavior is not specific to certain ages or demographics.
>My husband was laughing so hard and said his parents rude behavior deserves being ignored.
This is all we need to know right here. Why these people are so persistent is anyone's guess. As long as OP's husband stands with her, that's all we need.
Absolutely. How many of these posts do we see where they say, "My husband and his whole family thinks I'm wrong". It's nice to see the husband support Rosie. Then again, it shouldn't be too hard for people to call Rosie by her actual real name that she goes by.
Except that doesn't solve her problem or make the in laws less wrong. It's great her SO supports her, that's what he's supposed to do. I still think the in laws need a little taste of their own medicine. Obviously they are not nice people lol
Maybe SO needs to start calling them by the wrong names too, and a different one every time. With a baby on the way make sure they are never "Grandma" and "Grandpa" but Susan and Henry or Bob and Brenda. Or, since they hate to -ie at the end of Rosie they can be Bobbie and Susie.
And take it even further. Use names you know they hate or are just close enough to their real names that it will just irk them.
Some options are
*Berdette (this was my great uncles name. It’s awful and he went by Bert)
*Hobart
*Hortense
*Leland
*Verruca
*Beet
*Tomazo
*Pomona
*Hagrid
*Fitzroy
*Maybeline
*Ash (something that is more unique that would just drive them up the walls is also acceptable)
The vibe you are going for is the following : would this be the name of a sickly Victorian/Edwardian person or is it something that you could find in Harry Potter or a YA Post Apocolyptic Novel.
Edit: removed Cheryl. Just doesn’t fit with the vibe I’m going for. It’s random for sure which gives it merit but isn’t completely out there.
Well, Cheryl is Ash Williams’ sister in the Evil Dead franchise. Sort of post-apocalyptic, though I guess more along the lines of “stopping the apocalypse” lol
If it's in front of their friends I wouldn't stoop to the in-laws' level of pettiness--I'd tell the in-laws' friends exactly what's going on, that the in-laws insist on using the wrong name. Revealing their shenanigans to their friends should hopefully put a stop to it like nothing else, as I can't imagine anyone else thinking it's normal or excusable behavior.
Right, introduce herself to their friends like "I'm Rosie, NOT Rose like these two call me despite having corrected them a million times" ::side talk with hand over mouth to friends while eyes look to ILs:: "perhaps they are going senile already."
Edited to add quotation marks
I agree with this, best to just be matter of fact about it. "Actually, my name is Rosie". If they can't act like adults, you can. That approach can sometimes be more aggravating to the other party than taking the petty road.
>And make sure to call them the wrong names in front of others, like their friends.
If they don't knock it off, I suggest carefully teaching their grandchild to call them Poo-Pop and Moo-Moo.
I did this with coworker who refused to call me by the right name. It only took her two days of this behavior to correct hers. Two days.
It's not an accident.
Yes, call them different names like "this is my mother-in-law Habigal and my father-in-law Gertrude." When they correct you and say that isn't our name. Tell them, "Well, that's the name I'll call you from now on since you can't seem to get my name right."
THIS OP! Do it right back! You are NTA in any way. I run into this a lot, esp with older people. My mom named me Mandy. Straight out the gate. She didn't want to name me Amanda bc everybody would end up calling me Mandy anyway so she just cut straight to that. It also flows better with my last name/dad also has a name starting with 'M'. I also gently correct ppl a few times but if they keep it up I just ignore them until they use my actual name. And a few have used that same tired-ass excuse of Mandy not sounding grown up enough, it's ridiculous. Esp the dude that said that who goes by the nickname Scooter... like, sir, you wanna talk about childish names?!
As for them being embarassed calling you Rosie bc it's not an 'adult' name, I'd ask them this: So it's embarassing to call me by my given name bc it's not 'grown-up' enough for you, but you're not embarassed to be disrespecting me directly to my face? Not embarassing that you're disrespecting my parents' choice of name for their child? If you can't respect my name I'll be calling you Cruella and Gaston from now on. Your names just don't fit how cartoonishly mean and disrespectfully selfish you are and those names fit so much better. So call me anything but Rosie again and you will be called those until you can learn some respect. It costs you nothing to say my actual name so grow up.
Get a shirt with one of those "hello my name is Rosie" tags printed on it. Actually I have a cricut, I can make you a couple, wear one each time you're with them 😆
4 weeks later.
"I started calling my father in-law bitchmaster, he left his wife, grew a mullet, bought a trans am and is now working as a waterpark lifeguard. AITA"
I'm petty, this was exactly my first thought. You're name is Richard (goes by Rich)? Well now you're Ricardo. You're names Nancy? Well now you're Natasha.
Or when they call her Rose she should say “ yes Florence and Tomas” and when they get mad just say “oh I thought we were calling each other by the wrong name”
That's exactly what I do when someone constantly calls me by a wrong name repeatedly. It works, especially if the name you choose to call them is a bad one.
I once had a high school teacher call on me using my sister name.
I knew he was talking to me but I ignored him. He asked why I was answering. I said “Well that’s not my name. If you want sister’s name, she’s in Kansas attending college. If you want me to answer, I respond to LittleRedd”
He didn’t appreciate being called out in front of the class. The teacher never called me by sister’s name again.
I have a name that is spelled multiple different ways and pronounced 2 different ways due to where I live (a healthy mix of hispanic and non-hispanic).
I had a teacher consistently call me by the hispanic pronunciation of my name and he got irritated I wasn't answering. I looked up and said Oh? you're talking to me? My name is X not Y. Last I checked I am as white as a ghost and my name is spelled xyz (white folk pronunciation spelling) not zxy (hispanic pronunciation spelling).
I got send to the principles office for it.
edited to make it \*even clearer\* that the way my name is even spelled is the white pronunciation not the hispanic pronunciation. To point out this was not a "but but but i know \[insert people from country here\] with that hair/skin description so you cant accurately judge how to say their name by how they look" scenario. It literally was a teacher on a power trip wanting to call someone by a name that is NOT their name.
Oh I am plenty aware of that.
And my teacher was completely aware that a white skined ginger haired blue eyed girl with freckles combined with my extremely white folk last name was *obviously* not Hispanic. ESPECIALLY considering they also had my sister a few years prior AND knew how to annunciate my name properly from hearing people say it in class.
But, just like OOPs inlaws wanted to be obtuse and on a power trip - they said it how they wanted to, because they could.
Edit - since this apparently needs to be said. The Hispanic population in my 20 person per graduating class everyone knows everyone hometown do NOT fit or even come close to my skin/hair/eye color description. YES I am fully aware there are multiple different wonderful people who DO fit my persons description from all over the world that are still classified as Hispanic. This is not one of those cases. The Hispanic population in my hometown are all darker skinned, dark haired and dark eye colored. It is *very* obvious that the teacher was on a power trip stating my name the way HE thought it should be pronounced. It is not a "but but but what if" scenario. It is literally a correlational story of what happened to me, myself and I in High School with a teacher on a power trip just as OOPs InLaws are.
The fact I have to really get in here and describe this is astonishing. I'm sure if I had called the Hispanic population "mexican" some of yall would've had a problem with that just as me saying Hispanic seems to have riled some of yall up. I completely get that people from all over with a very wide range of skin and hair tones are called hispanic. This is just not one of those cases.
Had a teacher kind of like this. Decided he didn't like me a few months into the school year. I was in his class ALL year. Had been in his wife's class the two years prior and that year. Bro knew my name. He was in charge of year book group photos. Purposely called a similar name that at least two other people in my school have. I didn't get to be in two group photos because they couldn't rearrange the entire group for one person because, you knew what I meant. Bruh, you called a different fucking name, of which there is a person in this gym waiting for a different group photo. Dude was such a dick. But his wife loved me. Not sure what his deal was.
I had a teacher who was really bad at names and he felt bad if he mixed up siblings so he had a bowl of quarters in his desk and if he called a younger sibling by their older siblings name he would give them a quarter and an apology. The idea being he wanted them to know he knew it wasn’t ok and that they should expect respect from other teachers too. My sister is younger by three years grade wise. We look really similar (almost like twins when we where younger) so she made out like a bandit.
Edit: he also had a Duck puppet named quakers who would go on vacation with him during breaks and then quackers would teach us about the places he went. (He was a 6th grade social studies teacher) on Halloween he would dress quakers up as count Quakula and we would do geography jeapordy.
He was the best. He also had an Irish St. Patrick’s day where we would do a family feud and the non Irish kids would always lose but we all got lots of candy so it became this big joke game everyone loved. And if you came in green you got extra candy. Bonus points if it was a costume.
He was! He made social studies the best class. Learning was fun. Honestly I TA’d in college and I used a lot of his ideas when my students where having trouble remembering terms, dates, concepts. Their scores drastically improved. Since it was fun.
I haven’t really thought about it. But I hope I made that class more fun. It was a Landscape Architectural history class. In addition to learning all of the movements, historical facts they also had to do a 10-15 page research paper.
So hopefully having fun with the survey history class portion it made writing the paper easier.
Oh, I would have made bank. Being 9 and 12 years younger than my sisters, and going to a small, Old School, I had Only like 2 teachers who hadn’t had either 1 or both of my sisters before.
All the 12 other teachers I had throu my 10 years in that School has called me my sisters names so many times, that some other students from other grades thought either was my name
I grew up being called by my cousins name (apparently I look a shit ton like her or something) in a small town.
I'd just say "nah she's my cousin"
Fast forward to high school.
The secretary (who had been there since, like, the dawn of existence, I think, and knows the entirety of my extended local family) called me by my OTHER cousins name. I almost shit my pants because no one had EVER called me by her name (and I look more like her than the other cousin) and I was gobsmacked. I actually asked her to repeat herself. Mainly because the age gap between me and cousin 2 is pretty big and I wasn't sure if I'd heard her correctly 😂 and zero of my family have "common" names (not unheard of, just not common in a farm town😂)
My sister and I have named that start with the same letter. My sister excelled at any subject of sport so teachers and coaches remembered her.
My PE teacher in elementary school would give me a piece of gum any time she called me by my sister’s name.
My 9th grade religion teacher called me by my middle name the entire school year, which is Ashley. She didn't know that was my middle name, she did it because she got me and a girl in the class named Ashley confused. 23 years later, still not sure how or why. We looked nothing alike, were not related in any way, and we sat nowhere near each other in class. She and I also had other classes together, and other teachers never had issues telling us apart. Worst yet, she didn't know what to call the real Ashley; she just stared blankly at the poor girl every time she called on her. It got so bad that a girl I had known since kindergarten, that I was not friends with and did not like me, got pissed off on my behalf and yelled at the teacher that I was not Ashley. The only reason she didn't get sent to the principal's office was because the rest of the class joined in and said they were sick of her calling me and another pair of kids the wrong names.
Had this happen to me on many occasions! Used to drive me mad when I would be called by one of my sister's names!
There is also a nickname of my name that I absolutely hate and I point blank refuse to answer people who call me it when they know I hate it.
You should actually name your kid Dexter and then correct your in laws every time they try to call him by a nickname, which they will do because “Dexter is so formal for a little boy”.
Please, please, PLEASE get a copy of your birth certificate and frame it, and give it to them as a gift. Then hang one in your house prominently displayed every time they come over. Also, start calling them by the wrong names. Completely wrong names.
We named one of our kids "Charlie" and he gets "Charles" a lot. Which is fine and we expected it, but we told him to correct people if it bothers him and we'll correct people if he wants us to. He doesn't care ^(as long as you don't call him late for dinner.)
NTA - If they don't want to get ignore then they simply need to call you by your correct name. That is your name so they shouldn't be embarrassed, and if they introduced you properly to people then they wouldn't feel embarrassed to call you by your real name. You aren't the one being petty they are for refusing to use your name.
I'm glad that your husband can see the humor in this and has been repeatedly telling them to use your real name instead of telling you to "go with the flow to keep peace".
I'd start acting like it's a senility issue. "Oh, poor MIL and FIL. They get so confused anymore! Keep talking about people who don't exist. We're considering a home and an order having them declared mentally incompetent. Truly not safe for them to live alone right now."
You can start talking loudly like they have hearing loss. "No, mom, this is ROSIE. Rose was your friend from college. You haven't been in college for 40 years!"
This is the way. If you hear them say that in front of others start feigning concern: "Mom/Dad we've been over this several times but that's not my name and I've been clear that this is extremely disrespectful. I don't want to think you're being intentionally hurtful, so be honest with me: have you found yourself being more forgetful? Are you missing appointments? Have you talked to your doctor about your lapses in memory? At your age, this behavior is very alarming"
To be clear I am NOT recommending this is what the OP do because it IS an asshole move.
My brother used to tell my (emotionally abusive) mother, "You realize that I will be picking your nursing home, right?"
Still cracks me up. Absolutely brutal.
I would double down and absolutely call them a horrible nickname as well as ignoring them if they use the wrong name. Like Charley-Warley instead of Charles.
Or Dick and Prudence (Mustard and Mayo, Salt and Pepper, etc) because- aren’t we just making up any name for each other now?
If I was being introduced to someone I’d tell the truth right in front of them. I’d say actually my name is Rosie, not Rose. I will not respond to Rose, as that’s not my name. They know this but they are improperly introducing me as Rose because they dislike my actual name. I have asked them many times to use my actual name but they refuse to do so, thus my need to make a correction.
Yes. Definitely do this every time they call you something other than your name in front of other people. This whole situation is bizarre. The thing your in-laws should be embarrassed about is not your name but their own behavior.
I did this at school to a teacher!
My real name is traditionally a nickname and this teacher could not accept I didn’t go by the traditional name (Think Jo, he’d say Josephine).
I had enough of him doing it & decided to ignore him. He kept say “Josephine” and i responded just like your husband. He tried to give me detention. My mum called the school and said no way was I attending a detention because a teacher was to rude to learn my name!
That’s hilarious, because I’ve always wanted to name a baby girl Josie (after my grandpa Joe), not Josephine. I’ll have to keep this on my radar if that happens.
Not that it would change my opinion if he wasn’t, but the fact that your husband is on your side is very wholesome and tells me you should definitely just keep doing what you’re doing. If acting like children and refusing to respect your name is somehow less embarrassing to them than a couple of syllables, that’s not your problem.
In front of their friends do a stage whisper to the friends, "we're wondering whether we need a wellness exam as their memory seems to be slipping since that's not my name. We're pretty concerned. They are getting up there... "
Training them will be like training factious animals: positive reinforcement for the correct behavior, completely ignoring and not rewarding bad behavior. You and husband should get some Werther's Originals for rewards, add an extra sting to the situation until they don't need the reminder any longer.
She could also just have a spray bottle. Like when a cat jumps on your couch and you spray them with some water. Do the same when your husbands parents say Rose instead of Rosie. Then keep a treat pouch.
They say Rosie. They get a tootsie roll.
Rose. The bottle
And this is our daughter in law Rose
*Actually, my name is Rosie, not Rose. Nice to meet you.*
Fuck it
Keep embarrassing them.
If they get upset, they can deal with it.
NTA
... this but also continue it with...
"they just can't seem to remember. It's sad, we're hoping it's not dementia " 😆
OR "they think it's a childish name so they call me Rose instead, on purpose, when ironically, that is childish of them to do that" it's the honest truth and makes them look shitty. 😉 👌
Both fun, but I really like the second one. I think the best thing you could do in this situation is call them out directly and put them on blast in front of people. Make it embarrassing, and be consistent about it so that it conditions them, just like with a dog or a parrot or something. They need a metaphorical shock collar for when they so obviously disrespect someone their son cares about. They'll learn that way and OP gets to keep her hands squeaky clean.
I don’t think that is embarrassing enough.
> Actually, my name is Rosie, not Rose, but my in-laws refuse to call me that because they don’t think it is a mature enough name. Nice to meet you.
They shit they would get from that would likely make it so they never did it again.
Go the other way around, when they use your name wrong, do the same to them.
- And this is is daughter in law Rose.
- Thank you for introducing us Junatan, and pleasure to meet you "name of person your are introduced to".
If the other person asks why you call them like that, just say it's a game we play with the ILs.
NTA, but I wouldn't ignore them. I'd reply with a firm "I am a grown woman. My name is Rosie. The fact that you continue to call me Rose is not only childish behavior but also incredibly disrespectful." regardless of who else is around.
It’s funny, a good call out is needed every once in a while with in-laws. They’re not your parents and you’re not their kid. The “power dynamic” isn’t in their favor, it’s 50/50.
When they do something shitty, call them out on it. Don’t be petty and play games like calling them different names, just straight up tell them they’re being shitty. Yeah, you need to respect them, but they need to respect you too.
Nta - the other people listening in are 1) getting a bit of drama llama thrill and 2) seeing how immature his parents are. Which is kinda funny since their complaint is Rosie *sounds* childish.
Kind of insulting to imply that your DILs name is childish, actually. OP is a grown woman AND is named Rosie, hence the name isn’t childish. OPs in-laws are, thou. NTA.
NTA.
"They feel like I am petty and say Rose just sounds more like a grown woman than Rosie does"
Who gives a shit what they think.
Personally I dont care what people call me, but most people do and it is something that should be respected.
Furthermore I’d say “Asshat” and “Chucklefuck” sound more like names for in-laws who can’t respect a simple request that has been made repeatedly, respectfully, and politely.
If they insist on re-naming you, you can always just re-name them back.
OP - since they don't like being ignored, start calling them by variations of THEIR names - like if it's Brad and Susan, start replying to them with "Yes Bradford", "No thank you, Susanna", etc.
Sauce for the goose after all...
NTA if it needs to be said. They're being HORRIBLY immature.
This actually works. I had a coworker purposely mispronounce my name because she liked her version better. Her name was Jodi. I started calling her Judy. She immediately started calling me by my correct name.
That reminds me of an essay I read once by a black woman whose white coworker insisted he couldn’t use her full name, so every time he called her the wrong name, she called him a different generic white man name.
NTA. Next time they use the wrong name to introduce you correct them in front of the other people.
"Actually. My in-laws are wrong my name is Rosie. They just don't like my name. And for some bizarre reason they think they get to rename me."
Yes. They are choosing to behave weird and creating an awkward situation, let the other people know how awkward it is.
You can deliver it in a somewhat light hearted way. But making sure you make the intention clear that is the wrong name and that they should use the correct one.
I think the in-laws will drop using the wrong name, atleast around other people, pretty quickly
NTA. Tell your IL’s that until they call you by your correct name you will continue to ignore them. Also, let them know that there behavior shows a blatant disregard and respect for you and if they cannot understand that then you will have to consider how you will allow them to interact with their grandchild. I bet they will get your name right then. Lol
holy shirt what is their problem. NTA. If they keep this up, start calling them variations of their own names. let them get a taste of their own medicine lol
NTA You should be addressed by your name, it's absurd and disrespectful for them to call you anything else.
I love that your husband is supporting you, and standing up to his parents on your behalf. A lot of husbands would flail under the pressure, due to years of programming and the need for their approval.
Nta!!!! Have they never heard of Rosie the Riveter?!?! If I were you, I'd use a public even to shame them into behaving in the most polite way possible. I really hate when people play the nickname game.
Also there's a whole-ass song in Bye Bye Birdie where fully grown dude's singing how in love he is with his grown assistant named Rosie!
Then you have:
Rosie O'Donnell (actress/TV personality)
Rosie Perez (actress/TV personality)
Rosie Cooper (British politician)
Rosie Scott (novelist)
Rosie Cavaliero (Actress)
Oh and aaaaaallll those women are 45+ in age. OP's inlaws need to stfu and take several seats.
NTA as a teen, I worked at a shop and even after 2 years my boss (an otherwise super-cool guy) would often call me by a name that wasn’t mine but similar. After a day of calling him by a name that wasn’t his, he finally got my name right. Your approach is more mature than mine lol
NTA - They are being absurd. You have a name. They don't get to give you a different one just because they don't like the one you have. You have told them this time and time again. Refusing to answer to anything but your actual name is reasonable next step.
NTA - your name is your name - and it's Rosie. You don't need to answer to any other name except Rosie. They sound so.... \[what word do I really want here? - not a pleasant one\]..... I am glad your husband is backing you up on this. Continue to not answer to anything but the correct name - they will have to learn either to use your proper name or continue to get ignored no matter where you are with them, whether there are friends, family, strangers around - they will have to learn. Besides, you don't want others to start calling you by anything but your correct name. How would they feel if you started calling them by some nickname that is not theirs?
NTA - you've made it clear that it's your name, and what you preferred to be called. End of story, if they're talking to Rose, they're talking to someone else, OBVIOUSLY.
If they aren’t talking to *you*, you can ignore them. There is no “Rose” here. You have explained and explained what your name actually is.
Your in-laws don’t have to like or approve of your name. But they do have to use it. NTA
NTA I get it. My name is Kim and some people ask if it's short for Kimberly or whatever. I've actually pulled out my ID once to prove that Kim was my actual given name.
>it's embarrassing to call me Rosie in front of other adults
WTF. How rude. It's *your name*.
Start calling them by the wrong name, perhaps they'll realise how annoying it is.
>My husband was laughing so hard and said his parents rude behavior deserves being ignored
Good that he’s sticking up for you.
NTA.
NTA, and glad your husband is on your side with it. When they call out for Rose they can find whoever the fuck Rose is and go talk to her, and when they wanna talk to *you* they can call you Rosie. You've given them more patience than they deserved on the matter by this point.
Also not for nothing, but maybe you and your husband should try and mentally prepare yourselves for when they try to re-name your children to a name they prefer when they're still young enough for it to stick. It's not unheard of and they seem the type that would.
NTA.
You share your name with Rosie the Riveter, not with Rose the Riveter.
You're awesome, your name is awesome, your husband is awesome and your in-laws are TA.
OMG, NTA. Shame on them. I'm proud of you. Keep it up.
I know TWO birth certificate "Billy"s, not William, not even Bill, if you put William on their plane ticket, they won't be able to fly, because the driver's license and the passport say "Billy".
Respect the name. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, respect it.
NTA
You’ve made all the reasonable steps that i would. If they carry on, I’d be petty enough to intentionally start using their names wrong.
Like calling George, Geoff. When they look confused, just drop, George is such a childish name, Geoff would be more grown up. Would help if your partner started doing the same.
The absurdity of it may even shock them into getting your name right.
Ok, I have one of those names you listed. My nicknames are Roe, Rose, and a few dear friends I have call me Rosie. TBH, I love them all. I am honestly too old to care anymore
That being said, NTA. You have asked them to call you Rosie, and they should. Have you ever sat them down, and told them WHY you are named Rosie? Then you can tell them you want them to call you your given name. They WILL slip up. And if they I produce you incorrectly, immediately correct them. And your hubby should talk to them too.
NTA. As someone who has often been called Michaela when my name is just Kayla, I fully understand the annoyance of people not using your actual name. And it is even worse for you OP because their reasoning is stupid and an awful thing to say to someone about something they can't easily change, like a name; not that you should want to change it anyway, I think Rosie is a beautiful name. And mad props to your husband for consistently backing you up on this, I am so sick of seeing relationships where someone's partner tells them to just get over it. I am glad that he understands that this isn't a tiny thing and should be stopped.
NTA.
This reminds me of a story I read on Facebook around thanksgiving time. A woman whose brother was trans, was continually called by his deadname at the dinner table. Whenever the deadname was used, sister blared an air horn. After about five or six rounds of that, no one used the wrong name.
So yeah… there’s always the air horn option.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I ignore my ILs when they do not use my actual name when talking to me or calling me. I have done this in front of other people as well and that is mostly why I wonder if I'm TA, because I know others are probably weirded out and uncomfortable by that drama. This might mean I am rude to more than just my ILs when they are rude to me. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - or you can ramp it up a notch and call them something completely different than their names. you could literally call them MIL and FIL tell them that works better for you. Or Elenore and Richard - those sound like grown up names.
And make sure to call them the wrong names in front of others, like their friends. I have a feeling they will feeling embarrassed and disrespected, tho from the sounds of it I don’t know if they will truly get the point. May get them to make the change and call you the right name anyway tho just to stop you
Na they will go straight with offended. More so when she points out that this is the exact thing they do to her. Boomers really don't like the taste of their hypocrisy.
Buuuut, it's different when they do it. Queue a ridiculously out of touch explanation to why they are correct in their behavior.
Cue* - to queue is to wait in a line, or similar.
Copy that
I’m glad you took it well :) It’s definitely one of those words in the English language that can get confusing on which one is used for which situation 💜
>It’s definitely one of those words in the English language that can get confusing on which one is used for which situation Well, I appreciate you keeping up the good fight on correct English, but considering how many people on here don't even know the difference between then and than, I fear it may be a losing battle lol.
Apart and a part is the one that has made me crazing recently.
I'm still baffled by people who write "defiantly" when they mean "definitely".
Breath and breathe and alot and a lot have been getting me lately.
Made you crazing? Me too. I'm completely crazing.
>I fear it may be a losing battle You mean loosing bottle, yea?
Or they're and their, you're and your, and it's and its. The possessive pronoun does NOT have an apostrophe. Only the contraction does. I'm seeing those errors in novels now. It breaks my grammatically correct heart.
What about ‘should of’ and ‘could of’ instead of should have and could have? Those make me ragey.
(I mentioned this in another comment before I saw yours) what about the apostrophes on plurals? Those are more and more common, like we went from no apostrophes to abusing them instead of just learning where to put them
Isle/aisle. “I went down the isle and got my stuff.” NO YOU WENT DOWN AN AISLE. AN ISLE IS SHORT FOR ISLAND.
I think you mean a "loosing" battle /s
They’re a lot of people out their that don’t realize that there missing out on what’s wrong with this sentence
Maybe they meant queue, as in it's patiently waiting line behind all the other ridiculously out of touch explanations like how they paid for college with a part-time summer job, and bought a house and raised a family on a single income, and kids these days don't want to work and listen to too much pokemans and should get off my lawn!!!
Omg I just spit out my coffee laughing at that, especially the last part. I love it!
For all intensive porpoises, they got their point across.
We need to stop taking good education for granite.
I've always found it funny how the word queue is just q with 5 silent letters 😁
They're not silent letters, they're just waiting their turn Sorry, had to 😛
Thank you! This drives me NUTS and it's all over reddit.
My favorite is the inbetween "que" - and I don't mean the spanish word.
I kind of like the idea of an anthropomorphized ridiculously out of touch explanation having to wait in a really long line.
They already did. Apparently her name isn’t grown up enough. For them.
Hey. Not all boomers are like that. I have manners.
Me too and I'm mostly not an asshole hypocrite.
Same here. I'm a boomer, and I'm respectful of other people.
Not all Boomers think any one thing or behave in any one way…
True but do you think the ones that won’t call someone by their name isn’t gonna be a petty ass?
There's petty ass people of all ages, all over this country and the world
How do you know the ages of the ages of the in-laws? They might have been born in 1965 or 1970 - that's Gen X. Idiotic behavior is not specific to certain ages or demographics.
Ain’t that the truth!
>My husband was laughing so hard and said his parents rude behavior deserves being ignored. This is all we need to know right here. Why these people are so persistent is anyone's guess. As long as OP's husband stands with her, that's all we need.
Absolutely. How many of these posts do we see where they say, "My husband and his whole family thinks I'm wrong". It's nice to see the husband support Rosie. Then again, it shouldn't be too hard for people to call Rosie by her actual real name that she goes by.
Except that doesn't solve her problem or make the in laws less wrong. It's great her SO supports her, that's what he's supposed to do. I still think the in laws need a little taste of their own medicine. Obviously they are not nice people lol
Maybe SO needs to start calling them by the wrong names too, and a different one every time. With a baby on the way make sure they are never "Grandma" and "Grandpa" but Susan and Henry or Bob and Brenda. Or, since they hate to -ie at the end of Rosie they can be Bobbie and Susie.
omg i love the idea of adding 'ie' to the end of their actual names. ESPECIALLY if it doesn't work at all (alfredie & louiseie) hahaha
And take it even further. Use names you know they hate or are just close enough to their real names that it will just irk them. Some options are *Berdette (this was my great uncles name. It’s awful and he went by Bert) *Hobart *Hortense *Leland *Verruca *Beet *Tomazo *Pomona *Hagrid *Fitzroy *Maybeline *Ash (something that is more unique that would just drive them up the walls is also acceptable) The vibe you are going for is the following : would this be the name of a sickly Victorian/Edwardian person or is it something that you could find in Harry Potter or a YA Post Apocolyptic Novel. Edit: removed Cheryl. Just doesn’t fit with the vibe I’m going for. It’s random for sure which gives it merit but isn’t completely out there.
Verruca is extra awesome because it also means Wart
[удалено]
Agrippa
Well, Cheryl is Ash Williams’ sister in the Evil Dead franchise. Sort of post-apocalyptic, though I guess more along the lines of “stopping the apocalypse” lol
"Beet" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gertrude and fitzherburt
Hogarth would go well with Hobart or Hortense
Please don't bring the Iron Giant into this. Those at memories deserve better. Lol
If it's in front of their friends I wouldn't stoop to the in-laws' level of pettiness--I'd tell the in-laws' friends exactly what's going on, that the in-laws insist on using the wrong name. Revealing their shenanigans to their friends should hopefully put a stop to it like nothing else, as I can't imagine anyone else thinking it's normal or excusable behavior.
Right, introduce herself to their friends like "I'm Rosie, NOT Rose like these two call me despite having corrected them a million times" ::side talk with hand over mouth to friends while eyes look to ILs:: "perhaps they are going senile already." Edited to add quotation marks
I agree with this, best to just be matter of fact about it. "Actually, my name is Rosie". If they can't act like adults, you can. That approach can sometimes be more aggravating to the other party than taking the petty road.
I’d just add an ‘ie’ to the end of their actual names. Every time.
>And make sure to call them the wrong names in front of others, like their friends. If they don't knock it off, I suggest carefully teaching their grandchild to call them Poo-Pop and Moo-Moo.
I would go for adding "ie" on the end ... you know, the exact opposite of *adult*. Elenore = Ellie Richard = D{cough} - Ricky
If the fil is Richard. Just call him Dick.
Nah Phallus. It's classier because it's Greek.
It does sound more grown up.
🤣🤣
And more grown up
Dickchard would be my choice.
"The Breakfast Club"! "Excuse me, Dick? Sorry - Rich?"
I did this with coworker who refused to call me by the right name. It only took her two days of this behavior to correct hers. Two days. It's not an accident.
Yes, call them different names like "this is my mother-in-law Habigal and my father-in-law Gertrude." When they correct you and say that isn't our name. Tell them, "Well, that's the name I'll call you from now on since you can't seem to get my name right."
Or, "Oh, I thought in this family we get to make up names for other people, since you always do that to me."
> Habigal someone somewhere is gonna read that & decide that's what they should name their kid.
THIS OP! Do it right back! You are NTA in any way. I run into this a lot, esp with older people. My mom named me Mandy. Straight out the gate. She didn't want to name me Amanda bc everybody would end up calling me Mandy anyway so she just cut straight to that. It also flows better with my last name/dad also has a name starting with 'M'. I also gently correct ppl a few times but if they keep it up I just ignore them until they use my actual name. And a few have used that same tired-ass excuse of Mandy not sounding grown up enough, it's ridiculous. Esp the dude that said that who goes by the nickname Scooter... like, sir, you wanna talk about childish names?! As for them being embarassed calling you Rosie bc it's not an 'adult' name, I'd ask them this: So it's embarassing to call me by my given name bc it's not 'grown-up' enough for you, but you're not embarassed to be disrespecting me directly to my face? Not embarassing that you're disrespecting my parents' choice of name for their child? If you can't respect my name I'll be calling you Cruella and Gaston from now on. Your names just don't fit how cartoonishly mean and disrespectfully selfish you are and those names fit so much better. So call me anything but Rosie again and you will be called those until you can learn some respect. It costs you nothing to say my actual name so grow up.
Dick and Mrs. Dick.
Go for a literary reference and call them "Moby" and "Ahab"
Get a shirt with one of those "hello my name is Rosie" tags printed on it. Actually I have a cricut, I can make you a couple, wear one each time you're with them 😆
I was thinking she start calling them Bitch and Bitchmaster.
4 weeks later. "I started calling my father in-law bitchmaster, he left his wife, grew a mullet, bought a trans am and is now working as a waterpark lifeguard. AITA"
I prefer Bitchard
I'm petty, this was exactly my first thought. You're name is Richard (goes by Rich)? Well now you're Ricardo. You're names Nancy? Well now you're Natasha.
Maybe they could be 'Boris and Natasha'?
Or when they call her Rose she should say “ yes Florence and Tomas” and when they get mad just say “oh I thought we were calling each other by the wrong name”
I think Mil and Fil are perfect names for them. Do it.
Here to say this…holy cow I was thinking Elenore and Heathcliff. Hahaha
NTA and I would definitely just call them Fil and Mil from now on.
Hyacinth and Richard....
That's exactly what I do when someone constantly calls me by a wrong name repeatedly. It works, especially if the name you choose to call them is a bad one.
NTA. They are super disrespectful. I'd name my kid something like Jenny or Billy instead of formal versions just to p them off.
[удалено]
I once had a high school teacher call on me using my sister name. I knew he was talking to me but I ignored him. He asked why I was answering. I said “Well that’s not my name. If you want sister’s name, she’s in Kansas attending college. If you want me to answer, I respond to LittleRedd” He didn’t appreciate being called out in front of the class. The teacher never called me by sister’s name again.
I have a name that is spelled multiple different ways and pronounced 2 different ways due to where I live (a healthy mix of hispanic and non-hispanic). I had a teacher consistently call me by the hispanic pronunciation of my name and he got irritated I wasn't answering. I looked up and said Oh? you're talking to me? My name is X not Y. Last I checked I am as white as a ghost and my name is spelled xyz (white folk pronunciation spelling) not zxy (hispanic pronunciation spelling). I got send to the principles office for it. edited to make it \*even clearer\* that the way my name is even spelled is the white pronunciation not the hispanic pronunciation. To point out this was not a "but but but i know \[insert people from country here\] with that hair/skin description so you cant accurately judge how to say their name by how they look" scenario. It literally was a teacher on a power trip wanting to call someone by a name that is NOT their name.
Plenty of Hispanic people have white skin. It is impossible to 100% accurately predict how you pronounce your name based on appearance.
Oh I am plenty aware of that. And my teacher was completely aware that a white skined ginger haired blue eyed girl with freckles combined with my extremely white folk last name was *obviously* not Hispanic. ESPECIALLY considering they also had my sister a few years prior AND knew how to annunciate my name properly from hearing people say it in class. But, just like OOPs inlaws wanted to be obtuse and on a power trip - they said it how they wanted to, because they could. Edit - since this apparently needs to be said. The Hispanic population in my 20 person per graduating class everyone knows everyone hometown do NOT fit or even come close to my skin/hair/eye color description. YES I am fully aware there are multiple different wonderful people who DO fit my persons description from all over the world that are still classified as Hispanic. This is not one of those cases. The Hispanic population in my hometown are all darker skinned, dark haired and dark eye colored. It is *very* obvious that the teacher was on a power trip stating my name the way HE thought it should be pronounced. It is not a "but but but what if" scenario. It is literally a correlational story of what happened to me, myself and I in High School with a teacher on a power trip just as OOPs InLaws are. The fact I have to really get in here and describe this is astonishing. I'm sure if I had called the Hispanic population "mexican" some of yall would've had a problem with that just as me saying Hispanic seems to have riled some of yall up. I completely get that people from all over with a very wide range of skin and hair tones are called hispanic. This is just not one of those cases.
Had a teacher kind of like this. Decided he didn't like me a few months into the school year. I was in his class ALL year. Had been in his wife's class the two years prior and that year. Bro knew my name. He was in charge of year book group photos. Purposely called a similar name that at least two other people in my school have. I didn't get to be in two group photos because they couldn't rearrange the entire group for one person because, you knew what I meant. Bruh, you called a different fucking name, of which there is a person in this gym waiting for a different group photo. Dude was such a dick. But his wife loved me. Not sure what his deal was.
Just leaving this here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw
I prayed that would be “you done messed up, A-A-Ron,” and behold: my prayers were answered.
I had a teacher who was really bad at names and he felt bad if he mixed up siblings so he had a bowl of quarters in his desk and if he called a younger sibling by their older siblings name he would give them a quarter and an apology. The idea being he wanted them to know he knew it wasn’t ok and that they should expect respect from other teachers too. My sister is younger by three years grade wise. We look really similar (almost like twins when we where younger) so she made out like a bandit. Edit: he also had a Duck puppet named quakers who would go on vacation with him during breaks and then quackers would teach us about the places he went. (He was a 6th grade social studies teacher) on Halloween he would dress quakers up as count Quakula and we would do geography jeapordy.
That sounds like the kinda teacher everyone wishes they could get
He was the best. He also had an Irish St. Patrick’s day where we would do a family feud and the non Irish kids would always lose but we all got lots of candy so it became this big joke game everyone loved. And if you came in green you got extra candy. Bonus points if it was a costume.
It’s the small things like that that help shape kids the best
Wow! Sounds like a badass teacher
He was! He made social studies the best class. Learning was fun. Honestly I TA’d in college and I used a lot of his ideas when my students where having trouble remembering terms, dates, concepts. Their scores drastically improved. Since it was fun.
So you've passed it along too! Imagine how many feel about you, the way you did about him! Cool beans my guy!
I haven’t really thought about it. But I hope I made that class more fun. It was a Landscape Architectural history class. In addition to learning all of the movements, historical facts they also had to do a 10-15 page research paper. So hopefully having fun with the survey history class portion it made writing the paper easier.
Oh, I would have made bank. Being 9 and 12 years younger than my sisters, and going to a small, Old School, I had Only like 2 teachers who hadn’t had either 1 or both of my sisters before. All the 12 other teachers I had throu my 10 years in that School has called me my sisters names so many times, that some other students from other grades thought either was my name
I grew up being called by my cousins name (apparently I look a shit ton like her or something) in a small town. I'd just say "nah she's my cousin" Fast forward to high school. The secretary (who had been there since, like, the dawn of existence, I think, and knows the entirety of my extended local family) called me by my OTHER cousins name. I almost shit my pants because no one had EVER called me by her name (and I look more like her than the other cousin) and I was gobsmacked. I actually asked her to repeat herself. Mainly because the age gap between me and cousin 2 is pretty big and I wasn't sure if I'd heard her correctly 😂 and zero of my family have "common" names (not unheard of, just not common in a farm town😂)
To be fair though, LittleRedd is a bit of an unusual name
I bet the sister was BigRedd
My sister and I have named that start with the same letter. My sister excelled at any subject of sport so teachers and coaches remembered her. My PE teacher in elementary school would give me a piece of gum any time she called me by my sister’s name.
MiddleRedd. We don't talk about what happened to BigRedd.
My 9th grade religion teacher called me by my middle name the entire school year, which is Ashley. She didn't know that was my middle name, she did it because she got me and a girl in the class named Ashley confused. 23 years later, still not sure how or why. We looked nothing alike, were not related in any way, and we sat nowhere near each other in class. She and I also had other classes together, and other teachers never had issues telling us apart. Worst yet, she didn't know what to call the real Ashley; she just stared blankly at the poor girl every time she called on her. It got so bad that a girl I had known since kindergarten, that I was not friends with and did not like me, got pissed off on my behalf and yelled at the teacher that I was not Ashley. The only reason she didn't get sent to the principal's office was because the rest of the class joined in and said they were sick of her calling me and another pair of kids the wrong names.
Had this happen to me on many occasions! Used to drive me mad when I would be called by one of my sister's names! There is also a nickname of my name that I absolutely hate and I point blank refuse to answer people who call me it when they know I hate it.
You should actually name your kid Dexter and then correct your in laws every time they try to call him by a nickname, which they will do because “Dexter is so formal for a little boy”.
That's cute. Their opinion doesn't matter. Only yours and your husband's.
You should make that his middle name, but have "Rollo" as his first name. It will ensure he knows everybody!
Please, please, PLEASE get a copy of your birth certificate and frame it, and give it to them as a gift. Then hang one in your house prominently displayed every time they come over. Also, start calling them by the wrong names. Completely wrong names.
Love that, if they ask what it’s short for tell them PokeDex, surely that will shut them up
That's a them problem. And if they can't use his name they don't get to see him often. It's so rude and disrespectful.
I’m a Declan who gets called Decs sometimes but I’ve never imagined it with an “x” lmao
We named one of our kids "Charlie" and he gets "Charles" a lot. Which is fine and we expected it, but we told him to correct people if it bothers him and we'll correct people if he wants us to. He doesn't care ^(as long as you don't call him late for dinner.)
NTA - If they don't want to get ignore then they simply need to call you by your correct name. That is your name so they shouldn't be embarrassed, and if they introduced you properly to people then they wouldn't feel embarrassed to call you by your real name. You aren't the one being petty they are for refusing to use your name. I'm glad that your husband can see the humor in this and has been repeatedly telling them to use your real name instead of telling you to "go with the flow to keep peace".
[удалено]
I'd start acting like it's a senility issue. "Oh, poor MIL and FIL. They get so confused anymore! Keep talking about people who don't exist. We're considering a home and an order having them declared mentally incompetent. Truly not safe for them to live alone right now."
"It's so sad to watch their decline, they can't remember my name anymore".
You can start talking loudly like they have hearing loss. "No, mom, this is ROSIE. Rose was your friend from college. You haven't been in college for 40 years!"
You’re all so petty and I am here for it. Beautiful.
Bless you
Loudly and slowly... heavy enunciation!
This is the way. If you hear them say that in front of others start feigning concern: "Mom/Dad we've been over this several times but that's not my name and I've been clear that this is extremely disrespectful. I don't want to think you're being intentionally hurtful, so be honest with me: have you found yourself being more forgetful? Are you missing appointments? Have you talked to your doctor about your lapses in memory? At your age, this behavior is very alarming"
"Maybe we should consider putting you in a home..." 🤣
To be clear I am NOT recommending this is what the OP do because it IS an asshole move. My brother used to tell my (emotionally abusive) mother, "You realize that I will be picking your nursing home, right?" Still cracks me up. Absolutely brutal.
To be fair, if they're over 60 it's probably lead poisoning.
You petty motherfucker. I like you.
A-a-ron.
Ja-kwellen? Is that you?
I can’t help it. Every time I see the name Aaron, I pronounce it A-A- Ron in my head.
I quote this skit all the time when my friends do a dumb in our MMO. "YOU DONE FUCKED UP, [username]!"
Good reason for them to never babysit. "Their memory has been shot for years, we don't feel safe leaving the baby with them."
I would double down and absolutely call them a horrible nickname as well as ignoring them if they use the wrong name. Like Charley-Warley instead of Charles. Or Dick and Prudence (Mustard and Mayo, Salt and Pepper, etc) because- aren’t we just making up any name for each other now? If I was being introduced to someone I’d tell the truth right in front of them. I’d say actually my name is Rosie, not Rose. I will not respond to Rose, as that’s not my name. They know this but they are improperly introducing me as Rose because they dislike my actual name. I have asked them many times to use my actual name but they refuse to do so, thus my need to make a correction.
Yes. Definitely do this every time they call you something other than your name in front of other people. This whole situation is bizarre. The thing your in-laws should be embarrassed about is not your name but their own behavior.
Your husband can 💯 tell you what nicknames they despise.
"Inlawkypoo."
I did this at school to a teacher! My real name is traditionally a nickname and this teacher could not accept I didn’t go by the traditional name (Think Jo, he’d say Josephine). I had enough of him doing it & decided to ignore him. He kept say “Josephine” and i responded just like your husband. He tried to give me detention. My mum called the school and said no way was I attending a detention because a teacher was to rude to learn my name!
That’s hilarious, because I’ve always wanted to name a baby girl Josie (after my grandpa Joe), not Josephine. I’ll have to keep this on my radar if that happens.
I love it! And I would totally do the same, and continue to do it as long they continue to use anything but your name.
Not that it would change my opinion if he wasn’t, but the fact that your husband is on your side is very wholesome and tells me you should definitely just keep doing what you’re doing. If acting like children and refusing to respect your name is somehow less embarrassing to them than a couple of syllables, that’s not your problem.
In front of their friends do a stage whisper to the friends, "we're wondering whether we need a wellness exam as their memory seems to be slipping since that's not my name. We're pretty concerned. They are getting up there... "
Training them will be like training factious animals: positive reinforcement for the correct behavior, completely ignoring and not rewarding bad behavior. You and husband should get some Werther's Originals for rewards, add an extra sting to the situation until they don't need the reminder any longer.
She could also just have a spray bottle. Like when a cat jumps on your couch and you spray them with some water. Do the same when your husbands parents say Rose instead of Rosie. Then keep a treat pouch. They say Rosie. They get a tootsie roll. Rose. The bottle
Really don't understand what their deal is. Do they think Rosie the Riveter is actually Rose the Riveter? Rosie is such a great name.
Finally a husband with a spine! I love it!!! NTA tenfold.
And this is our daughter in law Rose *Actually, my name is Rosie, not Rose. Nice to meet you.* Fuck it Keep embarrassing them. If they get upset, they can deal with it. NTA
... this but also continue it with... "they just can't seem to remember. It's sad, we're hoping it's not dementia " 😆 OR "they think it's a childish name so they call me Rose instead, on purpose, when ironically, that is childish of them to do that" it's the honest truth and makes them look shitty. 😉 👌
[удалено]
Both fun, but I really like the second one. I think the best thing you could do in this situation is call them out directly and put them on blast in front of people. Make it embarrassing, and be consistent about it so that it conditions them, just like with a dog or a parrot or something. They need a metaphorical shock collar for when they so obviously disrespect someone their son cares about. They'll learn that way and OP gets to keep her hands squeaky clean.
I don’t think that is embarrassing enough. > Actually, my name is Rosie, not Rose, but my in-laws refuse to call me that because they don’t think it is a mature enough name. Nice to meet you. They shit they would get from that would likely make it so they never did it again.
Go the other way around, when they use your name wrong, do the same to them. - And this is is daughter in law Rose. - Thank you for introducing us Junatan, and pleasure to meet you "name of person your are introduced to". If the other person asks why you call them like that, just say it's a game we play with the ILs.
NTA, but I wouldn't ignore them. I'd reply with a firm "I am a grown woman. My name is Rosie. The fact that you continue to call me Rose is not only childish behavior but also incredibly disrespectful." regardless of who else is around.
It’s funny, a good call out is needed every once in a while with in-laws. They’re not your parents and you’re not their kid. The “power dynamic” isn’t in their favor, it’s 50/50. When they do something shitty, call them out on it. Don’t be petty and play games like calling them different names, just straight up tell them they’re being shitty. Yeah, you need to respect them, but they need to respect you too.
This is the way!
Nta - the other people listening in are 1) getting a bit of drama llama thrill and 2) seeing how immature his parents are. Which is kinda funny since their complaint is Rosie *sounds* childish.
Kind of insulting to imply that your DILs name is childish, actually. OP is a grown woman AND is named Rosie, hence the name isn’t childish. OPs in-laws are, thou. NTA.
Very insulting, glad husband is on OP's side.
NTA. "They feel like I am petty and say Rose just sounds more like a grown woman than Rosie does" Who gives a shit what they think. Personally I dont care what people call me, but most people do and it is something that should be respected.
Furthermore I’d say “Asshat” and “Chucklefuck” sound more like names for in-laws who can’t respect a simple request that has been made repeatedly, respectfully, and politely. If they insist on re-naming you, you can always just re-name them back.
I see your 'chucklefuck' and raise you a 'cockwomble'. And be warned, 'twatbadger' is next lol
OP - since they don't like being ignored, start calling them by variations of THEIR names - like if it's Brad and Susan, start replying to them with "Yes Bradford", "No thank you, Susanna", etc. Sauce for the goose after all... NTA if it needs to be said. They're being HORRIBLY immature.
This actually works. I had a coworker purposely mispronounce my name because she liked her version better. Her name was Jodi. I started calling her Judy. She immediately started calling me by my correct name.
That reminds me of an essay I read once by a black woman whose white coworker insisted he couldn’t use her full name, so every time he called her the wrong name, she called him a different generic white man name.
Missed opportunity to call her Judson.
NTA. Next time they use the wrong name to introduce you correct them in front of the other people. "Actually. My in-laws are wrong my name is Rosie. They just don't like my name. And for some bizarre reason they think they get to rename me."
Yes. They are choosing to behave weird and creating an awkward situation, let the other people know how awkward it is. You can deliver it in a somewhat light hearted way. But making sure you make the intention clear that is the wrong name and that they should use the correct one. I think the in-laws will drop using the wrong name, atleast around other people, pretty quickly
NTA. Tell your IL’s that until they call you by your correct name you will continue to ignore them. Also, let them know that there behavior shows a blatant disregard and respect for you and if they cannot understand that then you will have to consider how you will allow them to interact with their grandchild. I bet they will get your name right then. Lol
holy shirt what is their problem. NTA. If they keep this up, start calling them variations of their own names. let them get a taste of their own medicine lol
NTA You should be addressed by your name, it's absurd and disrespectful for them to call you anything else. I love that your husband is supporting you, and standing up to his parents on your behalf. A lot of husbands would flail under the pressure, due to years of programming and the need for their approval.
Nta!!!! Have they never heard of Rosie the Riveter?!?! If I were you, I'd use a public even to shame them into behaving in the most polite way possible. I really hate when people play the nickname game.
Also there's a whole-ass song in Bye Bye Birdie where fully grown dude's singing how in love he is with his grown assistant named Rosie! Then you have: Rosie O'Donnell (actress/TV personality) Rosie Perez (actress/TV personality) Rosie Cooper (British politician) Rosie Scott (novelist) Rosie Cavaliero (Actress) Oh and aaaaaallll those women are 45+ in age. OP's inlaws need to stfu and take several seats.
Get a T-shirt with a pic of Rosie the riveter and put my name is Rosie under the photo.
NTA as a teen, I worked at a shop and even after 2 years my boss (an otherwise super-cool guy) would often call me by a name that wasn’t mine but similar. After a day of calling him by a name that wasn’t his, he finally got my name right. Your approach is more mature than mine lol
NTA - They are being absurd. You have a name. They don't get to give you a different one just because they don't like the one you have. You have told them this time and time again. Refusing to answer to anything but your actual name is reasonable next step.
NTA - I would continue ignoring them til they get it right.
NTA- they know your name and think they know better. If they can't show you respect by using your actual name, you can ignore them all you want.
NTA: your in laws’ behavior is rude and childish & you should not indulge them. Not answering to the wrong name is a perfect solution.
NTA your ILs seem really immature
They sound... ridiculous. Ignore away. NTA!
NTA ---- Start calling them by a different name and see if they like it.
NTA - your name is your name - and it's Rosie. You don't need to answer to any other name except Rosie. They sound so.... \[what word do I really want here? - not a pleasant one\]..... I am glad your husband is backing you up on this. Continue to not answer to anything but the correct name - they will have to learn either to use your proper name or continue to get ignored no matter where you are with them, whether there are friends, family, strangers around - they will have to learn. Besides, you don't want others to start calling you by anything but your correct name. How would they feel if you started calling them by some nickname that is not theirs?
NTA. They are acting like children. They don't get to decide what your name is ffs. Keep ignoring them.
NTA - you've made it clear that it's your name, and what you preferred to be called. End of story, if they're talking to Rose, they're talking to someone else, OBVIOUSLY.
If they aren’t talking to *you*, you can ignore them. There is no “Rose” here. You have explained and explained what your name actually is. Your in-laws don’t have to like or approve of your name. But they do have to use it. NTA
NTA They are embarrassing themselves by doing something that is worthy of a (non)response.
NTA I get it. My name is Kim and some people ask if it's short for Kimberly or whatever. I've actually pulled out my ID once to prove that Kim was my actual given name.
NTA. Their behavior is rude. Continue to ignore them when they try to rename you and they will eventually stop.
>it's embarrassing to call me Rosie in front of other adults WTF. How rude. It's *your name*. Start calling them by the wrong name, perhaps they'll realise how annoying it is. >My husband was laughing so hard and said his parents rude behavior deserves being ignored Good that he’s sticking up for you. NTA.
NTA, and glad your husband is on your side with it. When they call out for Rose they can find whoever the fuck Rose is and go talk to her, and when they wanna talk to *you* they can call you Rosie. You've given them more patience than they deserved on the matter by this point. Also not for nothing, but maybe you and your husband should try and mentally prepare yourselves for when they try to re-name your children to a name they prefer when they're still young enough for it to stick. It's not unheard of and they seem the type that would.
NTA. You share your name with Rosie the Riveter, not with Rose the Riveter. You're awesome, your name is awesome, your husband is awesome and your in-laws are TA.
OMG, NTA. Shame on them. I'm proud of you. Keep it up. I know TWO birth certificate "Billy"s, not William, not even Bill, if you put William on their plane ticket, they won't be able to fly, because the driver's license and the passport say "Billy". Respect the name. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, respect it.
NTA You’ve made all the reasonable steps that i would. If they carry on, I’d be petty enough to intentionally start using their names wrong. Like calling George, Geoff. When they look confused, just drop, George is such a childish name, Geoff would be more grown up. Would help if your partner started doing the same. The absurdity of it may even shock them into getting your name right.
Ok, I have one of those names you listed. My nicknames are Roe, Rose, and a few dear friends I have call me Rosie. TBH, I love them all. I am honestly too old to care anymore That being said, NTA. You have asked them to call you Rosie, and they should. Have you ever sat them down, and told them WHY you are named Rosie? Then you can tell them you want them to call you your given name. They WILL slip up. And if they I produce you incorrectly, immediately correct them. And your hubby should talk to them too.
NTA. As someone who has often been called Michaela when my name is just Kayla, I fully understand the annoyance of people not using your actual name. And it is even worse for you OP because their reasoning is stupid and an awful thing to say to someone about something they can't easily change, like a name; not that you should want to change it anyway, I think Rosie is a beautiful name. And mad props to your husband for consistently backing you up on this, I am so sick of seeing relationships where someone's partner tells them to just get over it. I am glad that he understands that this isn't a tiny thing and should be stopped.
NTA. This reminds me of a story I read on Facebook around thanksgiving time. A woman whose brother was trans, was continually called by his deadname at the dinner table. Whenever the deadname was used, sister blared an air horn. After about five or six rounds of that, no one used the wrong name. So yeah… there’s always the air horn option.