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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my parents I wasn't paying their rent, then bought myself games because they were on sale
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YTA. You absolutely have a bathroom and kitchen available to you, or are your parents saying by paying rent you only have access to the bedroom and must take your bathroom and kitchen needs outside? Because if not, you have everything available and your parents are absolutely in their right to charge you rent. Believe it or not, $500 isn’t all rent money. I’m assuming you eat food they purchase, use their electricity, water, gas, and internet? Your part of all of those things is going to easily hit near $500 in a month. Your parents are basically saying you need to start covering the cost of living there, which you somehow find unreasonable
YTA you have it good with $500 a month for a whole bedroom I pay $1000 and have to share with an office. I understand that they raised the rent and you can be upset at that, but demanding more when you have access to things is ridiculous. You complain about not having enough to pay the rent but you waste $150 on video games ?
Charging you 500 knowing you only make 600-800, leaving you with at MOST 300 bucks to live on for a month. That’s bonkers from a parent. Especially if they want that much to “help you save up”. When I was that young making 600 ish a month, my mom made me get my own groceries and pay my own transportation. I had nothing left TO save, I can’t imagine if she would have expected my to pay half the rent. She even had to help me out with new work clothes when I needed them.
I’m American and still have parents like this. I feel bad for the kids of the top commenters on posts like this who turn 18 and get treated like a burden.
American Boomer** ( not being derogatory. Just descriptive) Alot of Americans don't agree with them. They are just one of the loudest . They resent their kids and some even go so far as to claim their kids owe them actually money back for raising them. It's wild .
Lmao OP is gonna get kicked to the curb. None of the rules he’s citing apply to a rental situation where you are sharing a unit with your tenant.
Also what an unreasonable little barrage of requests. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on! Do this, do that, do this. Or what? Move out kid.
Honestly, fuck parents who make their kids pay to remain in their childhood home, and so early. Even if more expensive, I'd rather move out than pay hundreds in rent to my parents. Unpopular opinion maybe, maybe I just had shitty parents- but feels wrong to me. Your parents are the reason you exist. Life is already hard enough. Let your kid get a leg up before sending them out on their own, especially if they're showing they're on the right track; like OP learning a trade so he can have a solid career.
To be fair, OP didn't exactly endear themselves to me either with their post. But then of course I remember the parents, who also don't sound like people I'd be friends with, raised OP and so bear a large amount of responsibility for that also.
The thing about that is, OP is 18. He has lots left to learn and lots of life experience still to gain, which he eventually will. Many 18 year olds come across as assholes. Then they mature over the next few years. His parents don't have that same excuse.
Parents should be pushing their kids to move out by letting them save for the extortionate price to actually get onto the property ladder, not use them as their own little piggy bank.
It entirely depends on how much though. For instance my wife and I rent most of the upstairs of my childhood home from him (he lives downstairs, we all have a shared kitchen and laundry space) and he worked out that our share of the internet, water, heating, etc bills came to around 110$ per person (my brother and his wife also rent a space in the basement) so my wife and I pay 220$/month to live there while we get our lives going (26yo)
This is in Canada, and I couldn't find a studio shithole for less than 1k. I have literally zero problem paying that money every month, we both work, and it gives us a MASSIVE leg up to getting careers going and our lives built without living in a cockroach infested ghetto.
My dad is by far one of the most generous people I've ever met, I love him dearly and acting like him wanting to simply cover costs would be abusive is fucking insane.
My college apartment *ten years ago* was ~$550 a month for 1 bedroom in a 4 bedroom apartment, internet, cable, water, and electric (up to a certain amount) included.
I recently looked up the cost now out of curiosity and that same 1 bedroom is almost 1k a month now.
Yeah, rent is ridiculous right now. I live in a rural town and it’s still $1,600 for a reasonable 1,200sq ft house to rent. 1,000-1,400 for 2 bedroom apartments. $500 is a great deal and helps take some of the load off his parents who are taking care of him
Whoa whoa. These people made a decision to bring a child into the world. He has no say in the matter obviously. Now they want to take a large percent of his pay at only 18 years old in order to at minimum have a place to live, which he has a right to. This is a burden that they have unfairly impositioned onto their child. A child does not owe thier parents anything. The only asshole here are his parents and certainly you.
If his parents could not afford to shelter and feed the human they made a personal decision to bring into the world, then the burden is on them for doing so and not the child. It's their irresponsibility for creating the imposition/burden despite thier inability to afford it, not his. They are the assholes and so are you.
If he pays rent 500$ he definitely doesn't need to do the chores : laundry, cooking , cleaning,outside work WTF? NTA op.
The parents have the maid/cook and do squat and they should get 500$ half mortgage on top of the work?
YTA
> they want to charge $500 monthly for 1 room,
That's cheap in most rental markets.
>NY laws that essentially say that in order to rent a living space, it MUST include a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen
As long as you have access to the shared bathroom and kitchen, you are in a legal rental.
Realize that if you are over 18 they are within their rights to just kick you out. And that's where I'd be at based on your presumptuous and entitled attitude.
It is cheap for most rental markets but this is OPs childhood home. Parents charging their kids rent to remain in their childhood home has always felt wrong to me, especially so early.
Why are people applying the rental market to a situation involving parents and their child, any rent is ridiculous, unless they were planning on renting that room out to someone else if OP wasn't there.
That's so cheap it's less than what I paid for a 1 bed/1 bath apartment a decade ago. And OP gets access to a basement. My apartment just had a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen/loving room that was separated by.. well the change in flooring. It was tiny.
Actually they may very well not be within their rights kicking OP out. If a judge rules that the rent was too much, or if the basement isn’t appropriate and they can deny it on the basis of the rent being too high in comparison to their adult child’s income, because here in NY we have different rules concerning family and adult children. Also they are not allowed to kick him out without going through the eviction process. They can try but he can’t legally be removed without the legal process, with few exceptions. And in this case they have to bring it up to a judge for the eviction. My mom just went through this with a couple of younger siblings. That doesn’t mean that the parents can’t make his life a living hell. And let’s me honestly $500/month for your kid? Especially if he’s doing shit around the house? Judges around here would laugh the parents straight to hell and tell them their payment is the chores being done. Keep in mind it’s winter weather, and in my area of NY not much for jobs, and HCOL even with $14.20 minimum wage it’s still over $1k rent alone, and that’s not even in NYC which is way worse. Highly doubt any judge is going to evict this kid if the info provided is accurate. And he’s still a kid as evidenced by the video games
Or he's just still really young and in the process of getting his life together (learning a trade, getting his full license) and his parents should let him get a leg up before he makes the move to be out in his own, rather than charge him hundreds to remain living in his childhood bedroom.
this! why is everyone assuming dude is just a failure and that his parents are enabling the behavior? from my perspective, i think more people need to realize that parenting situations aren't always glamorous or easy.
Yeah! And he isn't even a failure at all. He has goals and is on the right track. That should be what any parent wants and what should make any parent feel like they've successfully raised someone.
Right?! How does OP even get to work — does he walk, bike, take public transport — or is he reliant on his parents to drive him?
I wish that was made clear in the post, because it sounds like the latter option. He has zero cause to complain if they’re driving him around, too!
He has every right to complain that the people who brought him into the world are laying a burden onto him that is beyond unfair, especially at his age. Just because your parents didn't love you and exploited you and you seem ok with it, because you have some kind of stockhom syndrome, doesn't mean it's OK for other parents to do it.
man america is WILD. Out of school, out of the house LOL
this would never happen in my own country, we actually love our own family and wouldn't charge unless the persona is actually making viable money or is unwilling to make contribution in the houselife
i'd say absolutely NTA, but you should find a middle ground with the people who raised you. Doing chores is okay, but maybe a 300$ contribution with a promise to help more if you get more money from your work, and starting your welding studies immediately. If you study and help and make a small contribution i can't really see how anyone could deem you an a-h
Yeah, amercian mindset is shit, they treat their children like a passive income, no wonder most are covered in debts by the time they turn 25, its pretty much an endless cycle
Yeah it's mad. I live in the UK and don't get charged rent. Your children aren't products they are your children. American mindset is so messed up. I would be homeless if I couldn't live at home. I took out personal loans to attend university and have too much debt to be able to survive not at home. Currently doing a masters to finally be able to live independently again but I would be screwed if not for my parents.
Same, honestly the comments were starting to make me worry that I’m the most spoiled little shit on earth😭Like, don’t parents *enjoy* spending time with their kids?? I finished uni this year and was immediately talking about moving out, but my parents essentially said “that’s stupid in the current economic climate and you should stay with us for as long as possible. Also you’ve been away at uni and we’ve missed having you around!”.
People keep going on about “they’re teaching you to get off your ass and WORK😡💪” but where’s the love and compassion for the offspring you literally birthed? Why don’t you WANT to help make their prospects less shit? OP has said that his parents are financially stable, it would probably be no skin off their back if they let him stay and save enough to start his welding program and have some extra savings left over for a deposit and a couple months rent. So unless they’re secretly putting all the money in a savings account for him, 3/4 of his wage as rent is just unnecessarily mean. I really do not understand why a parent would deliberately create a huge roadblock whilst their child is attempting to find their footing.
I genuinely think it's just Americans were corporations have convinced society that money is the only thing that matters. My mum makes 120 thousand a year. She doesn't need my rent contributions. My total income for my previous job was over 600 percent less. And I have a good pre graduate education and a STEM undergrad. If she charged me rent she would be charging me just for the sake of it. It sounds like OPs parents are the same.
In what world is taking from me to bolster her own income not using me as passive income?
If OPs parents are the same, and let's assume he is on average wages, if his parents are on a similar situation as mine, it would be the income equivalent of his parents paying 2,400 pounds a month on rent. It is a lot for someone on low income, even with family. Whereas for the inverse it's completely negligible. For them 500 pounds would be 5 percent of their monthly take in. Completely negligible amount of money to seriously hinder the future of your child.
The whole point of having children is for them to have a better life than you. What was the point of the pain and wasting 18 years if you're just going to then go, alright bye goodluck! And set them at a disadvantsge to their peers, who they are competing with for jobs and housing, who they will lose out to. Weird takes. I'm very thankful for my parents and they're good people.
Exactlyyy, that leg-up from your parents is literally the difference between being able to move out with financial security, and immediately living paycheck to paycheck. My parents only make about 50k combined (and that’s good for us, it was about 30k until very recently), we live in a shitty little 2 bed house. But why would they want that for me as well?
My mum came to me asking if I could possibly lend her 250 quid until payday, since our cat just died and they were hit with an unexpected cost for vets and cremation and shit. And I obviously gave it to her, since I appreciate that they’re letting me live in their house. But I’ll also continue to help out if they ever need it even when I’m long gone and living independently, because they’ve created an environment where I feel loved and supported, and so I naturally want to support them in the same way. That’s literally just how family works. So yes, maybe OP’s parents are fostering a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” attitude in their child, but they’re probably fostering a “I’m putting both of you straight in a care home” attitude as well lmao.
info: are they somehow in need of money?
also, do you eat their food/use their water/etc?
maybe you could get some agreement about living there if you both
a) start studying whatever you wanna do as soon as possible
b) keep working and splitting the house expenses with them (a 3rd of bills and general living expenses)
It would be fair to not freeload on them and it's not paying them "just to have a roof on your head" but more like "fairly contributing to what you consume in the house"
also, if you can't actively study rn, i suggest finding a temporary extra job to get a bit more money, so you can expense yourself for when you're not gonna be able to. and yeah maybe 150$ in one sitting was a bit too much, i like spending but i usually wait to be in a confortable place before using money that i could need
if you read the edits, it's all there, and for the games, I justified it as something I wanted for a while, and they were on sale for black Friday. The only other thing is that my parents are above financially stable, which is why it's an issue for me
the only reason to spend 150$ on black friday sale games is to not spend a dime the rest of the year, but okay
try and reason with them, split the expenses 1/3rd and promise to finish your studies as fast as you can. Once you've got better job qualification and can get a better job, you can either start giving them more money or leave to find yourself better accomodations
Which you'll never have at 500/month, got it.
You're in a bit of a pickle, your parents were kinda right in admonishing you for a 150$ expense, but they're wrongin everything else.
That's only an opinion on the web, take it or leave it, i'm not judging your life and i wish you good luck
I'm an American and I don't know of anyone personally who charges their kids rent, even much older children. This is absolutely not the norm here. I've had some friends help their parents out if they're really in a pinch but you almost never see parents trying to literally profit off of their child.
>Edit: Here is the list of chores I've been doing for years: laundry, cooking, cleaning, and I take care of the exterior of the house. I haven't started my welding program, and I'm waiting to get more hours at work. I've been there 2 weeks, they're not going to put me on full time right away, but I was promised more hours by the end of the year. My parents know all of this as well
>I talked to my parents after graduation in June, and they brought up the idea of me paying rent, but I quickly shot it down bc of my plans not including a summer job
You're talking in this edit like you've been so put upon doing these household tasks. But you've basically been out of school and unemployed for 4-5 months. You're helping around the house as a compensation for free room & board.
This is absurd to most Americans too, I assure you. I am SHOCKED at these comments. I have never personally known parents who charged rent for their adult kids. I have known some kids who helped their parents out in a pinch or paid for their own bills (like their own phone) but 500 rent is insane. Op said his parents are homeowners with luxury cars, so it's not like they need the money, to me it sounds like they're just trying to drive him out or punish him for something.
INFO: How old are you? That makes a difference here.
I’m withholding judgement until that information is known. Otherwise, what is holding you back from getting independent with driving?
My initial take is it is your parents pushing to get you into a job to get yourself on your feet and stable. Bringing up tenant rights is just being an AH on your part.
This comment section is vile. OP is 18, and hasn't been 18 that long. Most parents actually love their children and want what's best for them. Wanting their child to pay over half their income is the opposite. Everyone here talking about bills and getting a second job; bills won't have changed suddenly just because OP turned 18, so there is no cost increase there, and how is OP supposed to get a second job when he takes care of half the houseload?
OP seriously, most parents don't charge their kids rent, and those that do usually charge a reasonable amount that still lets their child save money for their future. Your parents seem the kind of people that want to exploit you. You're doing a lot of chores helping them out, and getting the bare minimum in return. Parents should help you flourish, not sabotage you.
It also seems like they don't want you to move out, because they'd lose out on the work you do for them. The 100$ total it costs them in electricity and water etc is nothing compared to the chores they don't have to do.
You are NTA here, and I recommend you move faster, start looking for appartments and jobs in the area you are going to school. Stop spending any of your money (except on essentials) and save it up so you have something to start with once you move. The first few months will be rough, but you will manage and it will get better. Best of luck
What a reasonable, kind comment. I can't believe how brutal this comment section is. It makes me sad when parents charge their kids to remain living in their childhood home, especially so early. I think it's fucked up actually.
This is the compassionate response I've been looking for. Just because it's legal doesn't make it right. And just because you turn 18 doesn't suddenly make you more mature and responsible. Yes, legally responsible for yourself, but 18 is honestly still a kid in so many ways. Parents may not have a legal obligation to care for their children after 8 years but they should have a moral one. OP would not exist without his parents deciding to bring him into this world. If you aren't going to accept responsibility for the life(not 18 years, LIFE) you create, then don't fucking have kids.
Exactly, just cuz you are legally an adult at 18 doesnt mean your actually one, most people dont start acting mature till they are 21, thats when the adult phase actually starts, most arent even done with school at 18, the “american mindset” is literally the worst, please if you agree with the comments on OPs post, dont fucking have children
Not only that, most 18 year old's haven't had the ability so save enough or don't earn enough to move out. That shit takes time. And money, which you can't save if you're paying 500$ out of 600-800$ rent each month.
If you want to charge rent as a parent, first of all you shouldn't spring it on them or change the amount last minute because you're unsatisfied after all. And second you should charge a reasonable, doable amount that still helps your child save up to move out. Asking for 70% of their income isn't that.
NTA
Sad I had to scroll down this far for a compassionate respond. Fully agree.
It takes time and money to move out, parents should help their children realize that moment, not sabotage it.
NTA
And these are the kind of parents who don’t teach their kids jackshit about how to be financially responsible and other adult tasks that revolves around finances.
The people in this thread are crazy lol. You should not be expected to pay over half your income to your own family. Please don't listen to the people calling you a leech. It takes time to get set up in life and you are on the right track rn.
Try to find a compromise with your family, and I'd recommend apologizing to your father. Your father is likely going to continue to lord his position over you, so you need to try to get set up and move out within a few years if possible.
YTA. Your attitude is the problem. You’ve gone about this the completely wrong way. If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to start acting like one.
How is charging your freshly 18 year old kid rent acting like an adult? His parents sound like entitled brats who shouldn't have been parents.
His parents are going to be those parents who wonder why they rarely from their kid and when they can no longer live without help it's straight to the old age home.
NTA wtf is wrong with americans and making children pay rent?? You're just 18, if you were like 25 I could understand, but bro 500$ a month, when you could be saving up to move out? Your parents are just making sure you stay there and pay them rent their whole fucking life at this point lmao.
Exactly, I feel like I’m in some kind of dystopian novel reading what people consider normal behaviour for parents in the US. Apparently everyone should be *grateful* their parents don’t leave them homeless as soon as they legally can?
Do these parents just hate their kids? 18 is *young*, in NY he can’t even buy alcohol for another 3 years.
I'm in France, my mom still gives me a bit of money each month to help me despite me having already worked, having an appartement with my companion, and managing my budget. I never understood this way of thinking. The only people I saw helping their parents financially was because they made more money than their parents. And of course when my mom in the future will need help I will be able to help her. But 500$ a month is nearly what I pay for my full appartment right now, I know it isn't the same in the US but if baffles me that you're meant to give more than half your salary to your parents.
Right! I moved out for university (back for covid) and moved out again with my partner afterwards and we’re working and happy. My parents are always there, offering to help if I need it and likewise ask if they can get my help on things like down payments fully ok with me saying no.
But I’m happy to say yes because we help each other if we need it. We’re a family, we trust each other and love each other, and that care is never weaponised or monetised. If you just want an investment to pay you back after 18 years, don’t have kids, buy stocks.
Two things here:
1. 600-800 a month in New York is wild for income. I don’t know what you do exactly but there has to be a way you can make more than that in the second priciest state in the country.
2. The 500 dollars in rent is tough. Even though you think it’s unfair it’s their house they’re allowed to charge as much as they want. And I bet, that’s way under market too. I live in a middle cost of living area and 500 for a “bedroom’ would be insanely cheap.
The fact that it’s a surprise fee is pretty crappy. Also, your parents can kick you out at 18, but in most states they have to give you notice, and “pay rent or get out” would similarly need notice.
Like, consider it this way, regardless of how sweet a deal $500 a month in rent is, $500 in non-negotiable surprise rent that OPs parents *will just take out of his account without his consent* is pretty egregious. If OP was crashing in a friends basement that behavior would probably merit an ESH.
Hold up, I missed that. OP, no matter the situation, the moment banks open tomorrow, go to yours and get them to remove your parents from your account. You need your own private account now that you're an adult. If your bank won't change your account, open a new one and transfer all the money there. Don't leave this situation unfixed.
Crazy how the consensus here is “just find a way to make more money so you can pay your own parents a higher rent even though you just graduated highschool”. Please don’t reproduce 😞
100%. Everyone saying YTA are soulless human beings. They’re expecting someone who was just a child not long ago to now pay half their mortgage.
And if not they can “legally kick you out”. JFC. How did they manage before he was old enough?
Nah it’s completely fine when your kid is in his 20s and working full time, steady income, etc. But bro is 18 years old and just finished school and is now supposed to pay half of his little income for rent which the parents don’t even really need? That is bonkers fr
Yta, wait till they evict you. Instead of throwing things you think are laws in their face, maybe you should have tried negotiating. But hey, enjoy those games when you’re sleeping on the streets.
YTA massively. You buy games, still play with Hot Wheels, can’t even get yourself around. You spout bullshit thinking you know the law but you are completely wrong.
Be grateful that you have a roof over your head and grow the fuck up. Pay that very small amount of rent or move out.
….do they even want you to move out and get on your feet? how would you even do that if they take half if not all your income. sounds like they want you to live with them forever! i hope your guys’ relationship gets better after you get the hell out of there. i moved out at 17 and me and my parents have a terrible relationship but even they wouldnt demand $500 a month from me. NTA, but probably stop arguing with them and just continuing offering what you can, or try to figure out other living arrangements. good luck in school op!
I wouldn't waste your time trying to convince redditors of family values, people with common sense are a minority on this platform.
People that charge their kids rent the moment they can are the kinds of people that had a kid because a condom broke, not because they wanted to start a family.
INFO: you graduated school in the spring, yeah? Are you in post-secondary or aiming for post-secondary? Honestly if I had a child who's plans were to not have a job and also not be in school despite being 18, I'd drop a "I expect X amount in rent per month" on them too, that's totally reasonable.
Also, your argument about a bathroom and kitchen is ridiculous. As long as you have access to the shared kitchen and bathroom, you can be considered a boarder. You don't need to have a private kitchen for rent to be legal. You may have a point if they don't have you in a legal bedroom, but they could get over that by just putting a bed in any other legal bedroom and saying you're renting that with access to the shared space and it's not up to them if you crash in the basement or the bedroom they consider technically yours.
NTA. It makes me sad when parents make their kids pay for their childhood bedroom/home, especially straight out of school or while they're still perusing post-secondary. If it's a matter of them being able to afford getting by themselves, I still have trouble sympathizing. They managed with you living there rent free your entire life so far. What's another little bit?
I don't care about comparing $500 to other rentals, calling it a "good deal." It's your childhood home.
You're on the right track learning a trade, working toward a solid career. Your parents should be happy about that & proud.
Parents; let your kids who are freshly out of high school/pursuing post-secondary/freshly graduated from post-secondary get a leg up before sending them out to be totally on their own & self-sufficient. You're setting them up for success that way. Life is hard. Don't make it harder for them sooner & for no good reason.
Nobody asked to be born. We're all stuck here forced to survive because out parents decided to put us here into existence. Especially these days with inflation, it's even harder to get by.
Your mindset is fucked. I know someone who was abused by their parents and used as a slave pretty much. Just because you know someone had it bad doesn't mean it isn't bad.18 is still incredibly young, especially in the current market of jobs and housing. From OPs description he cannot afford 500 dollars a month and tried to compromise. I think he is a soft AH personally, but at the same time children aren't passive income.
I don't understand this mindset of using your children in the most critical time of their lives to set them up for future success as either passive income, or free hands. They want him to be successful long-term they should be helping him budget, plan for savings and make him save money. Not just taking a quarter of their mortgage payments off of their own son whilst he's fresh out of high-school. It's detrimental to many young people's future success and will result in them either staying longer than you want, resenting you or being homeless.
It's no coincidence that people that are highly successful tend to have had great amount of support from their parents. Many people i went to uni with who are now thriving got help from their parents. I did not. Ended up in lots of debt to be able to afford to go even with working whenever I can (I have disabilities that make it hard as well for me but I did it anyway) and now have lots of personal debt that I am having to pay off and is limiting my options mid term. Whereas those who didn't have to do this are fine and saving. It's a massive advantage.
Personally I wouldn't want anything else other than to help my child as much as possible to have a better life than me. Heck I do this for my niece even. Strange mindset to treat what is the continuation of you and your legacy like any other person.
You definitely come off like YTA in your post. Your parents want you to pay some rent and you’re threatening to call the authorities? I’m guessing you still have access to a bathroom and the kitchen from the basement. Honestly, I’m guessing you still have access to the entire house. I have to side with your parents on this one. They aren’t being unreasonable in asking their adult child who is living there to contribute to the expenses of, checks notes, *living there.* I feel like you are opening up a can of worms threatening them with NY law and pretending like you’re a tenant, not their child still living in their home. You could potentially damage your relationship with them. They have every right to ask for a financial contribution, despite the fact that you’re not a traditional tenant with a lease. Nothing about their request seems unreasonable to me, sorry. A bunch of people I know lived at home with the parents after college (hell, some still do; millennial problems) and paid some form of rent, even though it’s still “living at home.” The fact of the matter is that they aren’t children in high school anymore, they are adults with jobs who make a contribution to society. Chipping in toward rent or groceries is an acceptable ask. The same goes for you.
You ask people for their opinion and then spend the whole time fighting, arguing and trying to justify why you are right. Mixing this with your sense of entitlement... Must be a joy to be around.
i’ve always found it very appalling that in america parents leave their kids to fend for themselves after 18, cuz in my country most people stay with their parents until marriage. either way, whether the comments here say u are an AH or not doesn’t matter because it’s up to u to find a compromise with ur parents. u mentioned u like gaming and streaming; if u can earn money from that i don’t see why not. purely my own suggestion bcuz i know next to nothing about u and ur family but perhaps u can suggest a lower amount of rent as of now and do some housework chores to make up for it, and then ask if they can gradually increase it to $500 over time. in the meantime if you are not studying, not learning how to drive…. u can take up more work hours to earn more $$. good luck!
NTA - you’ve just turned 18, and they’re treating you like a stranger, not family. Parents shouldn’t want to screw their children over.
It might be reasonable for them to charge you anything increased by you being there - so extra food, utility bills and increased council tax. It would not be reasonable for them to charge $500 - just because it’s the cheapest rent you could get does not make it reasonable (and all the comments saying that you should suck it up because it’s only $500 are awful). What’s their justification for having you there cost so much more?
Especially when they change how much they want by multiplying it by over 6. You could have been looking for your own place if you’d known they’d pull that. They know they have the upper hand so think they can change whatever they want.
I see people’s points about you seeming entitled, bringing up laws to your parents (although I’m not 100% sure you understand said laws). But honestly I can’t blame you as you have nothing to be grateful for. They’re not gifting you a room out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re trying to screw you over.
YTA. You know the alternative to paying rent? Not living in their house and paying a shitload more. Good luck finding a place to rent to you for under $500/month.
Talk to your parents man. Be reasonable and not demanding. But check your attitude because having the option to live there is much better than not having it
I tried being reasonable, but they refuse to accept less. We also had a deal, where I would give them 10% of my income, they said nothing more until it came out to like $35 my first check, then they demanded $500
I would keep talking to them. I obviously don’t know what you said to them, but here you sound entitled. Again, you need them right now. So keep that in mind while you negotiate
They don't have to be your definition of reasonable, they support themselves, while you leech and play games. Their house, their rules. Don't like it? Enjoy those streets. But it seems like they raised to you be this entitled and therefore they treat you like a little baby still and would never have you face actual consequences for your bullshit. You need an attitude adjustment.
The real world outside of America is actually on OPs side. Charging your OWN CHILD rent after they just finished school is not the norm everywhere else.
Honestly how parents and kids can act so transactionally is so bizarre to me, it’s interesting how different the culture is in the west when it comes to family. People saying you should be grateful your parents don’t kick you out at 18 also confuse me - do your parents even *like* you, as if not kicking you out as soon as they legally can isn’t just absolute bare minimum?!
And OP is only 18?! How anyone can say “okay cool you’re 18 now, still a teenager yes but the law says you’re enough of an adult and thus you have to pay rent.” In a lot of the US you can’t even buy alcohol at 18, they know you’re still a kid.
Feel free to downvote me but to most people around the world this is bizarre. All the AH votes are truly mind boggling.
Imo NTA because making your kids pay to be in your company is beyond me. And so many people wonder why their kids stick them in homes and refuse to talk to them when they grow older.
ESH for failing to clearly communicate. It seems like you've failed to consider the possibility that the reason they think charging this amount of rent is a good idea is to try to persuade you to get a full-time job and get started with your adult life. Preventing you from using free accommodation to play video games all day is in your own best interests.
YTA - with how you feel 500 is any money at all and with that you deserve your own kitchen and bathroom then you’re way over your head. You need to first use your brain a little instead of spewing all this about your plan not including working cause your parents plan also doesn’t include a free loader. In all this you haven’t even once mentioned your age, tell us cause that’s important.
I'm going against the grain here and saying NTA, parents are suppose to set you up to be successful at life. Sure, they gave you a roof over your head, fed and clothed you, your entire life....but that's the basic duties of a parent who decided to have a child.
However they are teaching you a good life lesson, get everything in writing, never trust people to actually keep thier word. As they've now set the example of people going back on thier word when they didn't get the expectation they were expecting. In this case being 10% of your income being very little that was agreed to, rather than a $500 flat fee. I give you props for knowing your rights under the law as unfortunate as it is to have to resort to that on your own parents, it's leverage no less and that information could be useful in the future.
As far as spending money on video games, it's your money, you should be allowed to do as you please with it. So long as you know you'll likely have to learn financial responsibility very, very quickly as it would seem given the situation.
Unfortunately NY isn't cheap, $500 is actually very, very cheap in this market wherever, so which ever way this goes, it's gonna suck. 18 with no support system, parents who seem to be setting you up to fail, NY high cost of living. It's very likely you'll have to move out of state unless you find roommates.
I also just want to reiterate. You owe your parents nothing. Not a damn thing. You didn't ask to be here or choose who your family is. That was thier decision to bring kids into the world and it's thier job to set that kid up to succeed in the world, not to leech off of them by demand. Its a damn shame what they're doing and the situation they've created and put you in. I hope they come to thier senses on that, because it's stuff like this that strains or completely destroys a family relationship. I wish you luck.
And thats why americans are moraly so behind every european, and also another reason why most are covered in debts, letting your child live in your house free of charge until they are 25 makes it so much easier for them to actually obtain a living space without making the rest of their life miserable, if my parents demanded 70% of my income at such a young age i wouldnt even look at them for the rest of my life, i aint here to be you passive income, im your child for fuks sake, if you bring a living being into this shitty world you better be down to taking care of them no matter what
YTA. Your parents have given you a roof over your head your entire life. You are an adult and you are now sponging off them, living under their roof and contributing nothing. Their legal obligation to you is finished. Time to grow up. Right now you are a parasite. Pay them the rent they want (which is not unreasonable in the slightest) or leave and try to stand on your own two feet. Instead you want to live in the basement like a troll for free.
This mindset is how you get your kid to resent you. Doing the bare fucking legal minimum (I.e, if they did not they would go to prison) is not the flex people think it is. Its your responsibility as a parent, it was your choice to be one.
Why bother being a parent and wasting 18 years when you don't what is absolutely the best for them and every advantage you could possibly give them? This is the reason I don't have kids, because I cannot do that currently. What a waste of time... if you're just going to treat the life you created as just another person and hinder their early years as an adult, genuinely shouldn't have bothered having kids in the first place and helped reduce the Human impact on the planet. We don't need more people, so if you are going to create a life and not do everything in your power to give them a better life than you, you are wasting our finite globalb resources and time and also creating a future troubled person. The planet cannot hold infinite people, so save it for people who will or can do that. Get a dog or a tortoise instead like me lmao.
And before anyone comes at me, even if this kid was working full time hours, he's 18. Just finished school. Has spent the last 16 years of his life forced through education. Is he not allowed some time to be free for a bit and think about what he wants in life and to just enjoy it for what it is? It has been 5 months. Regularly here in the UK the poshies talk about their gap yaah which is a year. If he worked full time he has no skills that will seperate him from everyone else who wants a job in this market, and your minimum wage is like 7 dollars. If he's working 37 hours a week that's 1184 before deductions of any sort. This kid is not going to be able to get a well paying job fresh out of high-school. Especially when the benefits system wouldn't aid him because he is with his parents, and he won't be able to afford higher education or to save for it from the sounds of it.
Is it reasonable to ask your child to sacrifice 50 percent of their full-time income to you? When you are already well off (OPs parents have luxury cars)? And the argument of oh rent is more elsewhere isn't important. The rental market is well known to be a rip off run by borderline scum and unaffordable even for people on ok wages. This is a time of difficulty. On top of that, he's their flesh and blood. Not just some guy. Really surprised at these comments. Sure he comes across as a bit of a dick but most teens are tbh.
Legal obligation yes, but there should be a moral obligation to care for the life you created. And giving a roof over your child's head is literally *the bare fucking minimum requirement* and not something to literally hold over your kids head.
I'm going to give you a pity NTA in this sea of Y T A. It is ridiculous of your parents to ask 500$ a month considering you bearly make that. Parents should be more reasonable with there children especially when they are making an effort to go back to school. Now remember this you might not have your own kitchen or bathroom but how much are you paying in groceries and how much you paying in utilities? That money you spent on games is probably a bit less then they spend on groceries.
NTA why are your parents asking for over 60% of your monthly paycheck? Half of their mortgage.
This stupid American thing of making your children pay to live in your house. I never understand how parents can ask that of their kids. If you were much older I could understand more, or if the amount was substantially less/was more of a contribution.
Find a flat share and get some independence and maybe they can find a lodger to pay their mortgage not their own child.
NTA. This comment section is a cesspool. Where I live (not the US) , it's normal for people who graduated high school to take a year long break to adjust to adult life. Get a license, do some fun stuff, get your first job to get a hold of what it's like to work, etc. Throughout this year, nobody, especially your parents, tries to extort you out of your hard earned money. When I took my year off, I got a job so I could finally upgrade my PC, not so I could watch 80% of it go away at the end of the month.
Of course, my parents told me I'd have to pay rent if I abandoned studying, but they did give me that year to figure out what I wanted to do next with my life.
18 year olds are barely adults, people. Let them think what they want in life instead of instantly seeing them as a profit maker.
YTA dude $500 for rent and all bills included is insanely cheap. You’re expecting your parents to drive you around, but you don’t want to pay rent? Legally they don’t have to keep you at all so you can try to throw it in their faces but they can kick you out and then you’ll see how truly expensive it is to rent. You have a bathroom and a kitchen you just share them and if you have a room to sleep in that’s a bedroom. How do you think landlords get away with shared homes? As long as everyone has their own private room (which you have) it doesn’t matter if they share everything else. You’re not just renting that singular room you’re paying to live in the whole house and use everything in the house.
I agree with Drakeblood on this thread, but here's my thoughts and advice
Just prefacing that I think a lot of these comments are coming across as extremely ignorant, judgemental and unhelpful. OP I wouldn't say you're a hard TA, if anything you're a soft one, but really I think your post comes across as you being quite young and not having much real life experience - which isn't a problem and we all have to start somewhere 🙂
You state somewhere in this thread that you're 18 and I'm assuming been in full time education since an early age, so I calculate that to be the best part of two decades. It seems like you've not worked before this recent job, so that is another slight point of concern, most teenagers try to earn money through part time work and then they don't have to be reliant on family.
Can you confirm what the situation is with the welding school? Do you have the qualifications for it? Is it like an apprenticeship? On the face of it, it sounds like a worthy job and I hope you make a success of it.
To people complaining that you should have been working more hours or even full time as soon as you presumably left education, I'd say ignore them. be working full time, ignore them!
My solution to your problem would be as follows, I would propose speaking to your parents and working out some sort of deal with them, I agree that giving them well over half of what you're currently making (if it comes to $800) is pretty crazy. Is there some sort of negotiation you guys could do? Like actually working out what the percentage of "rent" would be, plus bills (and taxes) and maybe some money toward food? Are you able to demonstrate to them what you'd do with your salary? Like breaking down what you intend to do your monthly salary and if you're saving, what the money is going toward? You mention you're learning to drive, is the plan to get a car? That presumably will be expensive but will enable you to have a lot more freedom and independence and not be reliant on them. Alternatively when do you plan to move out?
Regarding being TA, I do think you shouldn't have bought the games, or certainly as many as you did as it comes across as both naive and entitled. I don't think throwing your interpretation of rental laws around the family is the way to go either. You need to handle this like an adult and sit down and speak to your family and fully explain your position and gain a greater understanding of their mindset. Welcome to real world, it sucks, you're gonna love it! Haha.
In terms of your living situation, I also agree with other posters saying you'd be unlikely to get a better deal anywhere else, though it's always good to explore options like sharing with friends etc.
Ok, for the reason this is my first job, my parents wouldn't allow me to get one if my grades were less than ideal, and I also wasn't expecting this, so I saw no real reason to have one. For the car, I have one that my dad's friend is gifting me, and I can daily that without any problems. The welding program is something I started thinking about after graduation, because family kept bugging me about college. It's a beginner to pro program, anyone can join, but I didn't have the money and I don't want student loan debt. Not only do I need tuition, it's in the Midwest and I'm not. The games, they were all on sale and all games I've been wanting for a while, so I made it clear to my parents I was going to buy them with my own money, that's why I bought them all.
Thank you! What do you mean you weren't expecting this? As in you weren't expecting to have to work at all and you're effectively being forced to work now? And make a decision regarding college/further education or a full time job? If you have been off since June and we're now mid to late November, that's getting on for about 4 and a 1/2 to 5 months which is a long time to not be doing anything at all?
Don't also be reliant on a family friend for a vehicle, it would be well worth saving up to buy a cheap runaround, especially as you're statistics are against young drivers, you're a lot more likely to crash and then you'll have potentially p*ssed off a friend and will have no vehicle at all and be back at square one.
Are you sure you want to do the welding programme? There's nothing which is more accessible closer to you?
You do also need to get out of your head a bit, which is difficult I know and have an adult and frank conversation, as with further evidence it is sounding like they just want what's best for you.
I think the point about the games is that it's not a good look to be complaining about money in the post and then saying you've spent $150 on some games on sale!
My advice for now would be to get out of your own head, go for a walk etc. then find the courage and the balls and sit down with your family and discuss your situation properly.
I hope this helps and you can reach a resolution - I'm not quite sure what the issue is anymore? Is it the fact that they're asking you to contribute $500 of your monthly pay to them and you feel this is unfair because you can't afford it and you contribute around the house as it is?
Also what do you mean by your room being a former recording studio? How long has it been your room? This needs clarification.
YTA. It's quite obvious to anyone reading this the 10% deal was agreed on because they expected you to work normal hours for someone both of age and not studying. You paid way more for video games than you paid your parents in rent. They are now pissed because of that (understandably), and also because your claims of being unable to work more than 12-15 hours should really say that you're unwilling.
In the comments you're talking about moving out of state, starting in the trades, etc. If you're unable to navigate paying $500 to your parents you're not going to be able to come close to doing these other things. Your behavior is all you can control, look real critically at that behavior.
NTA no one asked to be born and when parents treat their kids like burdens and try kick them out at the earliest opportunity is imo disgusting. These comments are heartbreaking, seriously Americans seem to have a reputation for loving therapy but don’t half know how to f up the future generations.
If my kid "shut down" a conversation about rent in my house when they are an adult, I would "shut the door" in his damn face with him on the outside. You have a room with access to a kitchen and bathroom, that is all that is required. They don't have to renovate the whole basement for you. Get off your entitled butt and get a job that pays more, or a second one.
“They brought up the idea of me paying rent but I quickly shot it down bc of my plans not including a summer job” I actually laughed at this
YTA tho.
Bringing up NY laws when you’re talking about living with your parents is corny and I mean if that’s really how you want it then fine just move out.
Good luck finding another place to stay at in NY for $500.
Americans are wild. It’s an I got mine you get yours world here and Reddit is all for it.
I was born and raised here and it still surprises me how cold American parents are.
YTA. That’s a whole lotta legal jargon you’re trying to use for a grown adult who can’t even legally drive a car and makes $800 dollars a month. Minimum wage in NY is $15 so you’re working at most 10-15 hours a week, not in school, and demanding your parents “make you an apartment in the basement or else you’ll get authorities involved”, all while having the audacity to spend hundreds of dollars on video games?
If we wanna get entitled and talk “legality”, your parents have no legal obligation to house you after you turn 18. Your extended family has no legal obligation to either, and I find it wild that you expect them to. You have every right to go find your own place. Good luck finding one for $500 a month.
YTA - sorry kid but you have no bargaining position here. Think through your posture and see where that leads. Your counter proposal is totally out of line for what you’re receiving (a dirt cheap NY living space). You need much more income if you’re going to do anything else.
In addition to your job, you doing anything else? College? Trade school? Apprenticeship? You’re not pulling in enough money to be working full time at minimum wage…
YTA. Get a clue how the world works. The money you are paying will also be going towards the utilities your ungrateful ass uses and also the food your entitled self eats.
YTA - cooking, cleaning , laundry etc is just a part of life. If you were to rent and live on your own, you would still need to do these things and more.
I find it disgraceful and reprehensible that you are abusing your parents like this. The people who paid for most of your life on earth. You sir, are as crappy and ungrateful as you can get
INFO: so, what are you going to do when they throw you out for not paying rent and for acting like you’re entitled to stay there and not pay rent? If you don’t want to pay $500, imagine what paying for a room with roommates, plus 1/2 the utilities, 1/2 the internet, your own food, needing to buy your own furniture/tv/bed/kitchen appliances, etc would be like.
Look, I actually want to be on your side. I’m not a big fan of charging 18 yr olds rent when they’re still trying to find their footing. BUT unfortunately, that’s their prerogative. And you do make enough money to cover it. Your attitude is difficult to get behind. “Make renovations or I’m going to stay but not going to pay!” You’re parents can easily say, “not making the renovations, gtfo of my house.” Then you’re screwed.
Well you have options here. Move out and pay rent for the space you desire OR pay rent at your parents house. If you feel your $500 a month rent is too high, look for a rental that is less than that. I've seen closet spaces cheaper.
Large walkins can fit a twin bed and you'd be all set. Buy a pot and you'll have a pot to piss in.
Good luck
My friends parents charged him 500 dollars a month to rent another house on his property so he was out on his own but not really. He lived there basically 5 years until he met his now wife.
When they were at the bank finalizing the loan for the house my friend and his wife were looking to buy .... the down payment the couple had was 20k which was the minimum down for the house they wanted. Parents pulled out 30k (his rent money ) and put it in down on the house which gave them a 50k down instead of the original 30. He used to always gripe about paying rent but it helped him so much and he got used to having to make a payment every month which helped him with responsibility .
Christ wtf is wrong with you Americans, what kind of shit ass relationship did most of you have with your folks? So what if the kid wanted to spend SOME of his first paycheck from his first ever job in videogames? He's a fucking kid, he's well entitled to do so. It's not like he's a 35 yo barely employed overstaying his staying, he's an 18yo kid who just got his first job.
Yeah he talked about laws like he had all the knowledge in the world, so what, every fucking teenager talks like he knows everything. Would've been wiser to try and negotiate? Yes of course, but it was his parents who first and foremost put the kid in the un-fucking reasonable position of having to spend pretty much his entire paycheck in a made up rent agreement.
Yes, they are in their right to do so, but don't cry afterwards when your kid goes full no contact the moment he moves out.
NTA kid, find a way to negotiate an agreement that will get your parents out of your ass, and find a way to save money and move out asap.
I was charged $500 to live in my moms house when i dropped out of highschool to join the workforce instead. Did that from 16-21, every month i gave her $500 to go towards groceries, Internet, power, water, other bills ect. I think you’re having a major reality check here and your attitude is the problem. Bringing up tenant rights to your parents comes off as entitled and bratty. You could try and compromise with your parents saying something like “I’ll pay $500 but I’d really like for you guys to set aside $100 of that into an envelope/savings account to give BACK to me when i move out and I’m on my own.” That’s what my mom did for me and i ended up walking out with a good stack of cash when i moved into my first apartment. You’re being rude to your parents and you sound really entitled. Then you go any buy over $100 worth of video games? Stop acting like a child! You’re an adult and if you want to be treated as such, act like it. I’m gonna have to say YTA until you talk to your parents and work out a compromise without threatening them w the law and all that other BS. Unfortunately, welcome to being an adult in America
>My dad said I'm being unreasonable, and that I don't need the space, but I responded with "if I'm going to be treated like a tenant, I'm going to get authorities involved because my space is technically illegal". He got even more pissed, and I left him in the living room after telling him that we need to either work something out with me getting more space or he needs to dramatically lower his price, and that I wouldn't pay anything until we had that talk.
At that point, if I were your dad, I would have set you and all of your belongings outside of the house and changed the locks. Don't believe me? Ask my son.
It's your dads house, his rules and if something becomes unacceptable then move out. Certainly you can find plenty of bigger spaces in New York for $500 month.
YTA.
I think your parents should help you get on your feet after college. My guess is that that’s how it started out with their initial 10% of salary deal. But based on the way you’re talking in this post, I don’t think they arbitrarily cut you off from that. I think you probably got yourself cut off by some combination of making demands (like your own kitchen when you can already clearly use theirs) or by not actually making real attempts to get on your feet.
Maybe I’m wrong but you certainly haven’t convinced me yet. And I really don’t like the fact that you’re presenting this as you getting just one room from your parents when you obviously still have access to the kitchen/bathroom/living room and I’m 90% sure that they’re paying for your groceries, cooking you meals, and still driving you around. They don’t sound that crazy. They just sound fed up with you.
Does OP not realize they could kick him out?
As somebody said, they're Kindle providing food, internet, water, etc on top of that, so it's actually pretty cheap.
OP should've been a little more civil and asked for $400 per month if anything.
YTA, but I'm sure you'll be regulated by moving out and seeing how difficult things actually could be. You're young, you'll learn - and probably apologize to your parents for how you've acted during this time.
You certainly have no grounds to stand on for reporting their misconduct. You're receiving a great deal on a private room in a shared space. If you're only making 800/ month, consider working more. At minimum wage in NY, that's less than 15 hours of work a week... you're in a good position to save really well if you work full time and only pay that much. Cost to live alone with bills and food will easily be a couple thousand.
NTA - you’re living at your parents house, not dealing with landlords. You shouldn’t be expected to pay rent to your parents beyond any reasonable extra cost.
Am I the only one thinking NTA here?
1. They changed their mind about rent based on how much their kid made, which is crappy
2. He just turned 18, this is still his childhood home. 500 a month is a lot. Yes, contribute to groceries and bills but one person most likely isn't costing their parents 500 a month, and I think it is wrong for a parent to financially profit from their child.
3. Yes OP kinda sounds like a dick...like most 18 year Olds. Yes he could be more polite but also it sounds to me that his parents made up their mind *after* he started being sassy, so it's not like the rent is a consequence to the behavior.
4. Why should OP be expected to give over 80% of his paycheck up? Maybe 500 isn't a lot of rent for someone with a real steady job but he's a kid working a low paying job (like most people do when they're 18)
YTA- you are an adult now. Either pay the rent to your parents or move out and pay rent to someone else. Just so you know, you are unlikely to find cheaper rent than $500.
*You don't get to decide you just aren't going to pay rent and still live there. You need a reality check. Bills come before wants so yes rent needs to be paid before you buy yourself a bunch of video games.
INFO: Do you buy groceries, pay electricity, water, etc.?
Overall tho, YTA.
There's a lot going on in terms of why you're only making $600-800 a month, why you can't drive yourself and need a parent/guardian, and all the other services your parents are providing.
Not great of them to yell, of course, but I can understand their frustration. They don't want to kick you out because you obviously **need** them to function day to day, but they also need contributions for that as you're an adult. they are hoping you feel like you want to contribute and be more responsible, but you offered 10% of $600-800. You offered less than $100 for rent and board and electricity and what else? Food, water, driving you around so gas and car maintenance, etc. too? . You're not just paying for rent, you're clearly paying for more than that.
You want to be treated like a tenant while not acting like a tenant. Go check out rent and so on elsewhere for something similar. Check how much that costs, what else you'll need to pay, what else you'll have to replace (transport, groceries, etc.).
You can negotiate, of course, but I'd be pissed if you were offering $60-80 per month and then spent $150 on games. You do not have such disposable income. Who gives a shit they were on discount? You're telling them you don't have money available, fucking lowball them like that, and then spend 2x what you offered for rent on video games? Low earners do not spend 10% of their income on rent (plus you get more than just rent). So yeah, you wanna be a responsible adult, either offer more and negotiate or move out and see how hard it really is out there. You really have no idea how good you have it like that :p
You clearly aren't capable of taking care of yourself. Or understanding exactly how much is going where. You're not paying half the mortgage. Yes, YTA for how you're behaving.
Firstly YTA.
Secondly. your demands of a bathroom and kitchen are not valid as an excuse not to pay rent. The basement has been converted into a bedroom BUT it is an ATTACHED basement. Its not a separate entity, which means you still have unobstructed access to a kitchen/bathroom in the main house. Now if this was a unit separate from the house entirely on the property that had no bathroom/kitchen then yes you'd be right to demand said renovations. However, this is NOT the case, therefore you HAVE NO CASE. You still have full access to a bathroom and kitchen, they are not locking you away etc.
As for the rent, that' fucking cheap. 500 a month in NYC? that is BELOW market price. I can't get a studio for under 1200 in NJ and thats in the bad neighborhoods. Oh btw that doesn't include utilities. AT ALL. So in reality to rent a STUDIO near me its close to 2k, I also need to make 3 times the rent in income, provide income verification forms and the whole 9yrds JUST to apply. Also first and lasts month rent, a security deposit (typically a months rent) admin fees, application fees, pet deposit (plus pet rent) and thats JUST for the apartment! No lights, water, heat etc.
Instead of acting like a bratty child, maybe sit down with them and negotiate a proper rent price, and get a second job. I'm serious. if you are barely making 1k a month that is NOT enough to live on, and I know a welder, that field is one of the hardest fields to make it in. Because you need to be able to follow orders, directions and the like and deal with shitty hands you WILL be given. Fair warning they won't be pretty. Welders work LONG ass hours, 10-16hr shifts depending on the contract. And if you are JUST starting the program let alone your (typically low to no paid) apprenticeship, you really are up the creek without a paddle.
As for the games. that was irresponsible. I'm all for giving oneself treats, I just did today plus a couple Christmas gifts to friends. But the difference is, I have two jobs and can pay my bills WHILE saving up for the deposits I'mma need to move the fuck out.
You also need to get your license if possible, or a bus pass, or something to rely less on your parents. They aren't your saviors anymore. time to buckle down, get another job (warehouses pay great and honestly the skills learned are worth it for life lessons and challenges) and start paying rent. I don't care about the chores, because doing laundry typically is your own same for cooking and doing dishes. You are NOT providing enough housework if they want money.
Time to grow up and buckle down to get yourself where you should be.
YTA. You wouldn't be able to rent an entire apartment anywhere else in NY for only 500. You should be saving your money, not blowing it on games. It's okay to buy a few but spending 150 on games when you barely have any savings is foolish. And the authorities aren't going to punish your parents. You remind me of Michael Rotondo. He was thirty and got evicted by his parents for refusing to pay rent. He was a lot like you; he called the authorities on his parents too. But his parents didn't get in trouble; he did. Instead of waiting for more hours at your job, get a second job to tide you over till you get put on full-time at your first job.
Oh my.
YTA.
Entitlement.
I have such a difficult time relating to this.
It wasn't an option for me to not pay rent after graduation. It was expected and communicated to me that post-graduation, I could stay, but I'd pay rent.
Honestly, I couldn't wait to get on my own and worked four jobs just to make it work. I didn't want to live in my parents' house anymore.
I have a difficult time understanding the entitlement. If you live in your parents' house post-graduation to save money--that's fine-- but don't disrespect their rules and requirements.
I had a gaming system after graduation as well, but when I realized that I was spending too much time on it and it interfered with my goals for school and work, I sold it. I also sold the TV and DVD player for car insurance money and car repairs.
If you want to reach your goals--make sacrifices. Buying an XBox and complaining about rent in your parents home after graduation expends energy that can be used to work a second or third job.
End rant.
YTA. The entitlement in you is jarring. You're a shitty son ngl. They COULD just say "ok well why not go out there and get rent where you get everything you're quoting from the law and be on your own"....but you're betting on them not doing that and thinking you have leverage. It's their house. They can just do that and them asking you to pay $500, in NY of all places, is meant to teach you responsibility. You're an entitled little shit and should be put out on your ass tbh
You’re an example of why our country is failing. Yes, you’re the asshole. You should be out on your ass so you learn the hard way since the generously kind way isn’t getting through to you.
YTA. Your parents are probably getting frustrated with you as you are setting yourself up for failing at life. They have their own lives to think about which include getting ready for retirement and not supporting a freeloading kid forever
You need to:
a) get a driver's license.
B) get a job that actually has a future
The license gives you the independence to go places like say, a job.
At 800/month, you're talking under 10k a year. Even a basic, minimum wage job flipping burgers should make 3x that.
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YTA. You absolutely have a bathroom and kitchen available to you, or are your parents saying by paying rent you only have access to the bedroom and must take your bathroom and kitchen needs outside? Because if not, you have everything available and your parents are absolutely in their right to charge you rent. Believe it or not, $500 isn’t all rent money. I’m assuming you eat food they purchase, use their electricity, water, gas, and internet? Your part of all of those things is going to easily hit near $500 in a month. Your parents are basically saying you need to start covering the cost of living there, which you somehow find unreasonable
YTA you have it good with $500 a month for a whole bedroom I pay $1000 and have to share with an office. I understand that they raised the rent and you can be upset at that, but demanding more when you have access to things is ridiculous. You complain about not having enough to pay the rent but you waste $150 on video games ?
This is the most American comment I've seen where your own parents charging you 500 dollars for a room is having it good...
Charging you 500 knowing you only make 600-800, leaving you with at MOST 300 bucks to live on for a month. That’s bonkers from a parent. Especially if they want that much to “help you save up”. When I was that young making 600 ish a month, my mom made me get my own groceries and pay my own transportation. I had nothing left TO save, I can’t imagine if she would have expected my to pay half the rent. She even had to help me out with new work clothes when I needed them.
what does $500 get where you live?
Back when I still lived with my parents, $500 would get me a room and $500.
I’m American and still have parents like this. I feel bad for the kids of the top commenters on posts like this who turn 18 and get treated like a burden.
It gets you a 2 bedroom apartment
let's go! where am i moving to?
SOOOO... Where am I moving to?!?! 500$ right now gets me a box on the street corner
American Boomer** ( not being derogatory. Just descriptive) Alot of Americans don't agree with them. They are just one of the loudest . They resent their kids and some even go so far as to claim their kids owe them actually money back for raising them. It's wild .
But the games were on a huge sale!!! 🤪
Massive
Lmao OP is gonna get kicked to the curb. None of the rules he’s citing apply to a rental situation where you are sharing a unit with your tenant. Also what an unreasonable little barrage of requests. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on! Do this, do that, do this. Or what? Move out kid.
Honestly, fuck parents who make their kids pay to remain in their childhood home, and so early. Even if more expensive, I'd rather move out than pay hundreds in rent to my parents. Unpopular opinion maybe, maybe I just had shitty parents- but feels wrong to me. Your parents are the reason you exist. Life is already hard enough. Let your kid get a leg up before sending them out on their own, especially if they're showing they're on the right track; like OP learning a trade so he can have a solid career.
Absolutely this. These parent are absolute GARBAGE and should never have had a kid I the first place.
To be fair, OP didn't exactly endear themselves to me either with their post. But then of course I remember the parents, who also don't sound like people I'd be friends with, raised OP and so bear a large amount of responsibility for that also.
The thing about that is, OP is 18. He has lots left to learn and lots of life experience still to gain, which he eventually will. Many 18 year olds come across as assholes. Then they mature over the next few years. His parents don't have that same excuse.
Parents should be pushing their kids to move out by letting them save for the extortionate price to actually get onto the property ladder, not use them as their own little piggy bank.
It entirely depends on how much though. For instance my wife and I rent most of the upstairs of my childhood home from him (he lives downstairs, we all have a shared kitchen and laundry space) and he worked out that our share of the internet, water, heating, etc bills came to around 110$ per person (my brother and his wife also rent a space in the basement) so my wife and I pay 220$/month to live there while we get our lives going (26yo) This is in Canada, and I couldn't find a studio shithole for less than 1k. I have literally zero problem paying that money every month, we both work, and it gives us a MASSIVE leg up to getting careers going and our lives built without living in a cockroach infested ghetto. My dad is by far one of the most generous people I've ever met, I love him dearly and acting like him wanting to simply cover costs would be abusive is fucking insane.
My college apartment *ten years ago* was ~$550 a month for 1 bedroom in a 4 bedroom apartment, internet, cable, water, and electric (up to a certain amount) included. I recently looked up the cost now out of curiosity and that same 1 bedroom is almost 1k a month now.
Yeah, rent is ridiculous right now. I live in a rural town and it’s still $1,600 for a reasonable 1,200sq ft house to rent. 1,000-1,400 for 2 bedroom apartments. $500 is a great deal and helps take some of the load off his parents who are taking care of him
Whoa whoa. These people made a decision to bring a child into the world. He has no say in the matter obviously. Now they want to take a large percent of his pay at only 18 years old in order to at minimum have a place to live, which he has a right to. This is a burden that they have unfairly impositioned onto their child. A child does not owe thier parents anything. The only asshole here are his parents and certainly you. If his parents could not afford to shelter and feed the human they made a personal decision to bring into the world, then the burden is on them for doing so and not the child. It's their irresponsibility for creating the imposition/burden despite thier inability to afford it, not his. They are the assholes and so are you.
If he pays rent 500$ he definitely doesn't need to do the chores : laundry, cooking , cleaning,outside work WTF? NTA op. The parents have the maid/cook and do squat and they should get 500$ half mortgage on top of the work?
YTA > they want to charge $500 monthly for 1 room, That's cheap in most rental markets. >NY laws that essentially say that in order to rent a living space, it MUST include a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen As long as you have access to the shared bathroom and kitchen, you are in a legal rental. Realize that if you are over 18 they are within their rights to just kick you out. And that's where I'd be at based on your presumptuous and entitled attitude.
Wanting a teenager (your child no less) to pay half your mortgage sounds entitled to me.
You think 500 a month is half their mortgage in NY.
Common sense says there aren't a lot of 3 bedroom ho.es in Manhattan, so why would you assume it's new york city proper?
I have a three bed home in rural Ga. My house is 1500 for mortgage and insurance plus bills - electric has been insanely costly this year.
Except OP literally states thst it is half their mortgage.
You obviously don’t own a home. A home is more than a mortgage. There’s a water bill, electricity, HOA, etc.
It is cheap for most rental markets but this is OPs childhood home. Parents charging their kids rent to remain in their childhood home has always felt wrong to me, especially so early.
Why are people applying the rental market to a situation involving parents and their child, any rent is ridiculous, unless they were planning on renting that room out to someone else if OP wasn't there.
That's so cheap it's less than what I paid for a 1 bed/1 bath apartment a decade ago. And OP gets access to a basement. My apartment just had a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen/loving room that was separated by.. well the change in flooring. It was tiny.
Most basements aren't bedrooms or even counted as living space due to a lack of egress. If there's no egress, it's not a legal rental.
Actually they may very well not be within their rights kicking OP out. If a judge rules that the rent was too much, or if the basement isn’t appropriate and they can deny it on the basis of the rent being too high in comparison to their adult child’s income, because here in NY we have different rules concerning family and adult children. Also they are not allowed to kick him out without going through the eviction process. They can try but he can’t legally be removed without the legal process, with few exceptions. And in this case they have to bring it up to a judge for the eviction. My mom just went through this with a couple of younger siblings. That doesn’t mean that the parents can’t make his life a living hell. And let’s me honestly $500/month for your kid? Especially if he’s doing shit around the house? Judges around here would laugh the parents straight to hell and tell them their payment is the chores being done. Keep in mind it’s winter weather, and in my area of NY not much for jobs, and HCOL even with $14.20 minimum wage it’s still over $1k rent alone, and that’s not even in NYC which is way worse. Highly doubt any judge is going to evict this kid if the info provided is accurate. And he’s still a kid as evidenced by the video games
YTA, you are talking like a big man for someone who can't live by himself.
And depends on other people for rides…
Or he's just still really young and in the process of getting his life together (learning a trade, getting his full license) and his parents should let him get a leg up before he makes the move to be out in his own, rather than charge him hundreds to remain living in his childhood bedroom.
this! why is everyone assuming dude is just a failure and that his parents are enabling the behavior? from my perspective, i think more people need to realize that parenting situations aren't always glamorous or easy.
Yeah! And he isn't even a failure at all. He has goals and is on the right track. That should be what any parent wants and what should make any parent feel like they've successfully raised someone.
life isn't a one size fits all, glad you see it that way too!!
Or drive by himself.
Right?! How does OP even get to work — does he walk, bike, take public transport — or is he reliant on his parents to drive him? I wish that was made clear in the post, because it sounds like the latter option. He has zero cause to complain if they’re driving him around, too!
He has every right to complain that the people who brought him into the world are laying a burden onto him that is beyond unfair, especially at his age. Just because your parents didn't love you and exploited you and you seem ok with it, because you have some kind of stockhom syndrome, doesn't mean it's OK for other parents to do it.
man america is WILD. Out of school, out of the house LOL this would never happen in my own country, we actually love our own family and wouldn't charge unless the persona is actually making viable money or is unwilling to make contribution in the houselife i'd say absolutely NTA, but you should find a middle ground with the people who raised you. Doing chores is okay, but maybe a 300$ contribution with a promise to help more if you get more money from your work, and starting your welding studies immediately. If you study and help and make a small contribution i can't really see how anyone could deem you an a-h
Yeah, amercian mindset is shit, they treat their children like a passive income, no wonder most are covered in debts by the time they turn 25, its pretty much an endless cycle
Yeah it's mad. I live in the UK and don't get charged rent. Your children aren't products they are your children. American mindset is so messed up. I would be homeless if I couldn't live at home. I took out personal loans to attend university and have too much debt to be able to survive not at home. Currently doing a masters to finally be able to live independently again but I would be screwed if not for my parents.
Same, honestly the comments were starting to make me worry that I’m the most spoiled little shit on earth😭Like, don’t parents *enjoy* spending time with their kids?? I finished uni this year and was immediately talking about moving out, but my parents essentially said “that’s stupid in the current economic climate and you should stay with us for as long as possible. Also you’ve been away at uni and we’ve missed having you around!”. People keep going on about “they’re teaching you to get off your ass and WORK😡💪” but where’s the love and compassion for the offspring you literally birthed? Why don’t you WANT to help make their prospects less shit? OP has said that his parents are financially stable, it would probably be no skin off their back if they let him stay and save enough to start his welding program and have some extra savings left over for a deposit and a couple months rent. So unless they’re secretly putting all the money in a savings account for him, 3/4 of his wage as rent is just unnecessarily mean. I really do not understand why a parent would deliberately create a huge roadblock whilst their child is attempting to find their footing.
I genuinely think it's just Americans were corporations have convinced society that money is the only thing that matters. My mum makes 120 thousand a year. She doesn't need my rent contributions. My total income for my previous job was over 600 percent less. And I have a good pre graduate education and a STEM undergrad. If she charged me rent she would be charging me just for the sake of it. It sounds like OPs parents are the same. In what world is taking from me to bolster her own income not using me as passive income? If OPs parents are the same, and let's assume he is on average wages, if his parents are on a similar situation as mine, it would be the income equivalent of his parents paying 2,400 pounds a month on rent. It is a lot for someone on low income, even with family. Whereas for the inverse it's completely negligible. For them 500 pounds would be 5 percent of their monthly take in. Completely negligible amount of money to seriously hinder the future of your child. The whole point of having children is for them to have a better life than you. What was the point of the pain and wasting 18 years if you're just going to then go, alright bye goodluck! And set them at a disadvantsge to their peers, who they are competing with for jobs and housing, who they will lose out to. Weird takes. I'm very thankful for my parents and they're good people.
Exactlyyy, that leg-up from your parents is literally the difference between being able to move out with financial security, and immediately living paycheck to paycheck. My parents only make about 50k combined (and that’s good for us, it was about 30k until very recently), we live in a shitty little 2 bed house. But why would they want that for me as well? My mum came to me asking if I could possibly lend her 250 quid until payday, since our cat just died and they were hit with an unexpected cost for vets and cremation and shit. And I obviously gave it to her, since I appreciate that they’re letting me live in their house. But I’ll also continue to help out if they ever need it even when I’m long gone and living independently, because they’ve created an environment where I feel loved and supported, and so I naturally want to support them in the same way. That’s literally just how family works. So yes, maybe OP’s parents are fostering a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” attitude in their child, but they’re probably fostering a “I’m putting both of you straight in a care home” attitude as well lmao.
You can see why nursing homes are popular here lollll
I had a deal of 10% of my after tax income, they only flipped after it wasn't $100+
info: are they somehow in need of money? also, do you eat their food/use their water/etc? maybe you could get some agreement about living there if you both a) start studying whatever you wanna do as soon as possible b) keep working and splitting the house expenses with them (a 3rd of bills and general living expenses) It would be fair to not freeload on them and it's not paying them "just to have a roof on your head" but more like "fairly contributing to what you consume in the house" also, if you can't actively study rn, i suggest finding a temporary extra job to get a bit more money, so you can expense yourself for when you're not gonna be able to. and yeah maybe 150$ in one sitting was a bit too much, i like spending but i usually wait to be in a confortable place before using money that i could need
if you read the edits, it's all there, and for the games, I justified it as something I wanted for a while, and they were on sale for black Friday. The only other thing is that my parents are above financially stable, which is why it's an issue for me
the only reason to spend 150$ on black friday sale games is to not spend a dime the rest of the year, but okay try and reason with them, split the expenses 1/3rd and promise to finish your studies as fast as you can. Once you've got better job qualification and can get a better job, you can either start giving them more money or leave to find yourself better accomodations
I'm not in a program, I'm saving for it, and It's out west states away. I don't plan on living here permanently tho, just until I have move out money
Which you'll never have at 500/month, got it. You're in a bit of a pickle, your parents were kinda right in admonishing you for a 150$ expense, but they're wrongin everything else. That's only an opinion on the web, take it or leave it, i'm not judging your life and i wish you good luck
I normally wouldn't have spent $150 at once, but i was able to get most games I've been wanting for half price, and I consider it an investment
An investment is something likely to increase in value. Digital games have exactly $0 resale value, so it's not a fucking investment lol
I'm an American and I don't know of anyone personally who charges their kids rent, even much older children. This is absolutely not the norm here. I've had some friends help their parents out if they're really in a pinch but you almost never see parents trying to literally profit off of their child.
This is so crazy to me aswell. In my country it’s even illegal to not let your kid live rent free. America is a shithole
>Edit: Here is the list of chores I've been doing for years: laundry, cooking, cleaning, and I take care of the exterior of the house. I haven't started my welding program, and I'm waiting to get more hours at work. I've been there 2 weeks, they're not going to put me on full time right away, but I was promised more hours by the end of the year. My parents know all of this as well >I talked to my parents after graduation in June, and they brought up the idea of me paying rent, but I quickly shot it down bc of my plans not including a summer job You're talking in this edit like you've been so put upon doing these household tasks. But you've basically been out of school and unemployed for 4-5 months. You're helping around the house as a compensation for free room & board.
Only Americans charge their 18 year olds rent This shit is absurd to the rest of the world
This is absurd to most Americans too, I assure you. I am SHOCKED at these comments. I have never personally known parents who charged rent for their adult kids. I have known some kids who helped their parents out in a pinch or paid for their own bills (like their own phone) but 500 rent is insane. Op said his parents are homeowners with luxury cars, so it's not like they need the money, to me it sounds like they're just trying to drive him out or punish him for something.
INFO: How old are you? That makes a difference here. I’m withholding judgement until that information is known. Otherwise, what is holding you back from getting independent with driving? My initial take is it is your parents pushing to get you into a job to get yourself on your feet and stable. Bringing up tenant rights is just being an AH on your part.
This comment section is vile. OP is 18, and hasn't been 18 that long. Most parents actually love their children and want what's best for them. Wanting their child to pay over half their income is the opposite. Everyone here talking about bills and getting a second job; bills won't have changed suddenly just because OP turned 18, so there is no cost increase there, and how is OP supposed to get a second job when he takes care of half the houseload? OP seriously, most parents don't charge their kids rent, and those that do usually charge a reasonable amount that still lets their child save money for their future. Your parents seem the kind of people that want to exploit you. You're doing a lot of chores helping them out, and getting the bare minimum in return. Parents should help you flourish, not sabotage you. It also seems like they don't want you to move out, because they'd lose out on the work you do for them. The 100$ total it costs them in electricity and water etc is nothing compared to the chores they don't have to do. You are NTA here, and I recommend you move faster, start looking for appartments and jobs in the area you are going to school. Stop spending any of your money (except on essentials) and save it up so you have something to start with once you move. The first few months will be rough, but you will manage and it will get better. Best of luck
What a reasonable, kind comment. I can't believe how brutal this comment section is. It makes me sad when parents charge their kids to remain living in their childhood home, especially so early. I think it's fucked up actually.
This is the compassionate response I've been looking for. Just because it's legal doesn't make it right. And just because you turn 18 doesn't suddenly make you more mature and responsible. Yes, legally responsible for yourself, but 18 is honestly still a kid in so many ways. Parents may not have a legal obligation to care for their children after 8 years but they should have a moral one. OP would not exist without his parents deciding to bring him into this world. If you aren't going to accept responsibility for the life(not 18 years, LIFE) you create, then don't fucking have kids.
Exactly, just cuz you are legally an adult at 18 doesnt mean your actually one, most people dont start acting mature till they are 21, thats when the adult phase actually starts, most arent even done with school at 18, the “american mindset” is literally the worst, please if you agree with the comments on OPs post, dont fucking have children
Not only that, most 18 year old's haven't had the ability so save enough or don't earn enough to move out. That shit takes time. And money, which you can't save if you're paying 500$ out of 600-800$ rent each month. If you want to charge rent as a parent, first of all you shouldn't spring it on them or change the amount last minute because you're unsatisfied after all. And second you should charge a reasonable, doable amount that still helps your child save up to move out. Asking for 70% of their income isn't that. NTA
Sad I had to scroll down this far for a compassionate respond. Fully agree. It takes time and money to move out, parents should help their children realize that moment, not sabotage it. NTA
And these are the kind of parents who don’t teach their kids jackshit about how to be financially responsible and other adult tasks that revolves around finances.
The people in this thread are crazy lol. You should not be expected to pay over half your income to your own family. Please don't listen to the people calling you a leech. It takes time to get set up in life and you are on the right track rn. Try to find a compromise with your family, and I'd recommend apologizing to your father. Your father is likely going to continue to lord his position over you, so you need to try to get set up and move out within a few years if possible.
That's the plan, I'm going to the Midwest for a welding program, and I don't plan on returning
Best of luck!
thanks
Never forget how your parents treated you when you were vulnerable!!! I hope you make it with as little hardship as possible ♥️
YTA. Your attitude is the problem. You’ve gone about this the completely wrong way. If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to start acting like one.
How is charging your freshly 18 year old kid rent acting like an adult? His parents sound like entitled brats who shouldn't have been parents. His parents are going to be those parents who wonder why they rarely from their kid and when they can no longer live without help it's straight to the old age home.
NTA wtf is wrong with americans and making children pay rent?? You're just 18, if you were like 25 I could understand, but bro 500$ a month, when you could be saving up to move out? Your parents are just making sure you stay there and pay them rent their whole fucking life at this point lmao.
Exactly, I feel like I’m in some kind of dystopian novel reading what people consider normal behaviour for parents in the US. Apparently everyone should be *grateful* their parents don’t leave them homeless as soon as they legally can? Do these parents just hate their kids? 18 is *young*, in NY he can’t even buy alcohol for another 3 years.
I'm in France, my mom still gives me a bit of money each month to help me despite me having already worked, having an appartement with my companion, and managing my budget. I never understood this way of thinking. The only people I saw helping their parents financially was because they made more money than their parents. And of course when my mom in the future will need help I will be able to help her. But 500$ a month is nearly what I pay for my full appartment right now, I know it isn't the same in the US but if baffles me that you're meant to give more than half your salary to your parents.
Right! I moved out for university (back for covid) and moved out again with my partner afterwards and we’re working and happy. My parents are always there, offering to help if I need it and likewise ask if they can get my help on things like down payments fully ok with me saying no. But I’m happy to say yes because we help each other if we need it. We’re a family, we trust each other and love each other, and that care is never weaponised or monetised. If you just want an investment to pay you back after 18 years, don’t have kids, buy stocks.
Right. I bet these parents are blowing their retirement fund on their fancy cars and expecting their children to fun their retirement.
This is wild to me as an American too, I've never seen anything like this in real life.
Yes it's terrible! I don't understand how we have the unpopular opinion here
Two things here: 1. 600-800 a month in New York is wild for income. I don’t know what you do exactly but there has to be a way you can make more than that in the second priciest state in the country. 2. The 500 dollars in rent is tough. Even though you think it’s unfair it’s their house they’re allowed to charge as much as they want. And I bet, that’s way under market too. I live in a middle cost of living area and 500 for a “bedroom’ would be insanely cheap.
The fact that it’s a surprise fee is pretty crappy. Also, your parents can kick you out at 18, but in most states they have to give you notice, and “pay rent or get out” would similarly need notice. Like, consider it this way, regardless of how sweet a deal $500 a month in rent is, $500 in non-negotiable surprise rent that OPs parents *will just take out of his account without his consent* is pretty egregious. If OP was crashing in a friends basement that behavior would probably merit an ESH.
Hold up, I missed that. OP, no matter the situation, the moment banks open tomorrow, go to yours and get them to remove your parents from your account. You need your own private account now that you're an adult. If your bank won't change your account, open a new one and transfer all the money there. Don't leave this situation unfixed.
Crazy how the consensus here is “just find a way to make more money so you can pay your own parents a higher rent even though you just graduated highschool”. Please don’t reproduce 😞
100%. Everyone saying YTA are soulless human beings. They’re expecting someone who was just a child not long ago to now pay half their mortgage. And if not they can “legally kick you out”. JFC. How did they manage before he was old enough?
Right?! “They can legally kick you out”. Why would they WANT to?? Don’t they love their kid and want them to be happy and successful?
Good grief. OP is only 18 years old! I would never charge my 18 year old rent. much less 1/2 of my mortgage payment
Asking your kids to pay rent is bonkers IMO.
Nah it’s completely fine when your kid is in his 20s and working full time, steady income, etc. But bro is 18 years old and just finished school and is now supposed to pay half of his little income for rent which the parents don’t even really need? That is bonkers fr
Yta, wait till they evict you. Instead of throwing things you think are laws in their face, maybe you should have tried negotiating. But hey, enjoy those games when you’re sleeping on the streets.
YTA massively. You buy games, still play with Hot Wheels, can’t even get yourself around. You spout bullshit thinking you know the law but you are completely wrong. Be grateful that you have a roof over your head and grow the fuck up. Pay that very small amount of rent or move out.
you are basically a kid still.
….do they even want you to move out and get on your feet? how would you even do that if they take half if not all your income. sounds like they want you to live with them forever! i hope your guys’ relationship gets better after you get the hell out of there. i moved out at 17 and me and my parents have a terrible relationship but even they wouldnt demand $500 a month from me. NTA, but probably stop arguing with them and just continuing offering what you can, or try to figure out other living arrangements. good luck in school op!
Right?! This comment section is shocking. Have some compassion for your kids, especially if they're on the right track. Christ.
I wouldn't waste your time trying to convince redditors of family values, people with common sense are a minority on this platform. People that charge their kids rent the moment they can are the kinds of people that had a kid because a condom broke, not because they wanted to start a family.
INFO: you graduated school in the spring, yeah? Are you in post-secondary or aiming for post-secondary? Honestly if I had a child who's plans were to not have a job and also not be in school despite being 18, I'd drop a "I expect X amount in rent per month" on them too, that's totally reasonable. Also, your argument about a bathroom and kitchen is ridiculous. As long as you have access to the shared kitchen and bathroom, you can be considered a boarder. You don't need to have a private kitchen for rent to be legal. You may have a point if they don't have you in a legal bedroom, but they could get over that by just putting a bed in any other legal bedroom and saying you're renting that with access to the shared space and it's not up to them if you crash in the basement or the bedroom they consider technically yours.
NTA. It makes me sad when parents make their kids pay for their childhood bedroom/home, especially straight out of school or while they're still perusing post-secondary. If it's a matter of them being able to afford getting by themselves, I still have trouble sympathizing. They managed with you living there rent free your entire life so far. What's another little bit? I don't care about comparing $500 to other rentals, calling it a "good deal." It's your childhood home. You're on the right track learning a trade, working toward a solid career. Your parents should be happy about that & proud. Parents; let your kids who are freshly out of high school/pursuing post-secondary/freshly graduated from post-secondary get a leg up before sending them out to be totally on their own & self-sufficient. You're setting them up for success that way. Life is hard. Don't make it harder for them sooner & for no good reason. Nobody asked to be born. We're all stuck here forced to survive because out parents decided to put us here into existence. Especially these days with inflation, it's even harder to get by.
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His parents are seemingly well off homeowners with luxury cars. They don't need his contributions, they're taking advantage of their child.
Your mindset is fucked. I know someone who was abused by their parents and used as a slave pretty much. Just because you know someone had it bad doesn't mean it isn't bad.18 is still incredibly young, especially in the current market of jobs and housing. From OPs description he cannot afford 500 dollars a month and tried to compromise. I think he is a soft AH personally, but at the same time children aren't passive income. I don't understand this mindset of using your children in the most critical time of their lives to set them up for future success as either passive income, or free hands. They want him to be successful long-term they should be helping him budget, plan for savings and make him save money. Not just taking a quarter of their mortgage payments off of their own son whilst he's fresh out of high-school. It's detrimental to many young people's future success and will result in them either staying longer than you want, resenting you or being homeless. It's no coincidence that people that are highly successful tend to have had great amount of support from their parents. Many people i went to uni with who are now thriving got help from their parents. I did not. Ended up in lots of debt to be able to afford to go even with working whenever I can (I have disabilities that make it hard as well for me but I did it anyway) and now have lots of personal debt that I am having to pay off and is limiting my options mid term. Whereas those who didn't have to do this are fine and saving. It's a massive advantage. Personally I wouldn't want anything else other than to help my child as much as possible to have a better life than me. Heck I do this for my niece even. Strange mindset to treat what is the continuation of you and your legacy like any other person.
You definitely come off like YTA in your post. Your parents want you to pay some rent and you’re threatening to call the authorities? I’m guessing you still have access to a bathroom and the kitchen from the basement. Honestly, I’m guessing you still have access to the entire house. I have to side with your parents on this one. They aren’t being unreasonable in asking their adult child who is living there to contribute to the expenses of, checks notes, *living there.* I feel like you are opening up a can of worms threatening them with NY law and pretending like you’re a tenant, not their child still living in their home. You could potentially damage your relationship with them. They have every right to ask for a financial contribution, despite the fact that you’re not a traditional tenant with a lease. Nothing about their request seems unreasonable to me, sorry. A bunch of people I know lived at home with the parents after college (hell, some still do; millennial problems) and paid some form of rent, even though it’s still “living at home.” The fact of the matter is that they aren’t children in high school anymore, they are adults with jobs who make a contribution to society. Chipping in toward rent or groceries is an acceptable ask. The same goes for you.
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You ask people for their opinion and then spend the whole time fighting, arguing and trying to justify why you are right. Mixing this with your sense of entitlement... Must be a joy to be around.
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i’ve always found it very appalling that in america parents leave their kids to fend for themselves after 18, cuz in my country most people stay with their parents until marriage. either way, whether the comments here say u are an AH or not doesn’t matter because it’s up to u to find a compromise with ur parents. u mentioned u like gaming and streaming; if u can earn money from that i don’t see why not. purely my own suggestion bcuz i know next to nothing about u and ur family but perhaps u can suggest a lower amount of rent as of now and do some housework chores to make up for it, and then ask if they can gradually increase it to $500 over time. in the meantime if you are not studying, not learning how to drive…. u can take up more work hours to earn more $$. good luck!
NTA - you’ve just turned 18, and they’re treating you like a stranger, not family. Parents shouldn’t want to screw their children over. It might be reasonable for them to charge you anything increased by you being there - so extra food, utility bills and increased council tax. It would not be reasonable for them to charge $500 - just because it’s the cheapest rent you could get does not make it reasonable (and all the comments saying that you should suck it up because it’s only $500 are awful). What’s their justification for having you there cost so much more? Especially when they change how much they want by multiplying it by over 6. You could have been looking for your own place if you’d known they’d pull that. They know they have the upper hand so think they can change whatever they want. I see people’s points about you seeming entitled, bringing up laws to your parents (although I’m not 100% sure you understand said laws). But honestly I can’t blame you as you have nothing to be grateful for. They’re not gifting you a room out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re trying to screw you over.
YTA. You know the alternative to paying rent? Not living in their house and paying a shitload more. Good luck finding a place to rent to you for under $500/month. Talk to your parents man. Be reasonable and not demanding. But check your attitude because having the option to live there is much better than not having it
I tried being reasonable, but they refuse to accept less. We also had a deal, where I would give them 10% of my income, they said nothing more until it came out to like $35 my first check, then they demanded $500
10% is a joke, buddy. I don't know of anyone at all, ever, whose entire living expenses are equal to 10% of their income.
I would keep talking to them. I obviously don’t know what you said to them, but here you sound entitled. Again, you need them right now. So keep that in mind while you negotiate
They don't have to be your definition of reasonable, they support themselves, while you leech and play games. Their house, their rules. Don't like it? Enjoy those streets. But it seems like they raised to you be this entitled and therefore they treat you like a little baby still and would never have you face actual consequences for your bullshit. You need an attitude adjustment.
Yta. The real world is going to hit you like a freight train.
The real world outside of America is actually on OPs side. Charging your OWN CHILD rent after they just finished school is not the norm everywhere else.
NTA.
There's a secret third option here: you move out.
Honestly how parents and kids can act so transactionally is so bizarre to me, it’s interesting how different the culture is in the west when it comes to family. People saying you should be grateful your parents don’t kick you out at 18 also confuse me - do your parents even *like* you, as if not kicking you out as soon as they legally can isn’t just absolute bare minimum?! And OP is only 18?! How anyone can say “okay cool you’re 18 now, still a teenager yes but the law says you’re enough of an adult and thus you have to pay rent.” In a lot of the US you can’t even buy alcohol at 18, they know you’re still a kid. Feel free to downvote me but to most people around the world this is bizarre. All the AH votes are truly mind boggling. Imo NTA because making your kids pay to be in your company is beyond me. And so many people wonder why their kids stick them in homes and refuse to talk to them when they grow older.
ESH for failing to clearly communicate. It seems like you've failed to consider the possibility that the reason they think charging this amount of rent is a good idea is to try to persuade you to get a full-time job and get started with your adult life. Preventing you from using free accommodation to play video games all day is in your own best interests.
It seems like the parents did communicate but OP thought it was a bluff.
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INFO : are you contributing in non-financial ways to the household (e.g., doing chores, taking turn to cook dinner, taking care of yard work, etc.)?
YTA If you think your parents are ripping you off, then move out and see what the costs are without your family subsidies
YTA - with how you feel 500 is any money at all and with that you deserve your own kitchen and bathroom then you’re way over your head. You need to first use your brain a little instead of spewing all this about your plan not including working cause your parents plan also doesn’t include a free loader. In all this you haven’t even once mentioned your age, tell us cause that’s important.
I'm going against the grain here and saying NTA, parents are suppose to set you up to be successful at life. Sure, they gave you a roof over your head, fed and clothed you, your entire life....but that's the basic duties of a parent who decided to have a child. However they are teaching you a good life lesson, get everything in writing, never trust people to actually keep thier word. As they've now set the example of people going back on thier word when they didn't get the expectation they were expecting. In this case being 10% of your income being very little that was agreed to, rather than a $500 flat fee. I give you props for knowing your rights under the law as unfortunate as it is to have to resort to that on your own parents, it's leverage no less and that information could be useful in the future. As far as spending money on video games, it's your money, you should be allowed to do as you please with it. So long as you know you'll likely have to learn financial responsibility very, very quickly as it would seem given the situation. Unfortunately NY isn't cheap, $500 is actually very, very cheap in this market wherever, so which ever way this goes, it's gonna suck. 18 with no support system, parents who seem to be setting you up to fail, NY high cost of living. It's very likely you'll have to move out of state unless you find roommates. I also just want to reiterate. You owe your parents nothing. Not a damn thing. You didn't ask to be here or choose who your family is. That was thier decision to bring kids into the world and it's thier job to set that kid up to succeed in the world, not to leech off of them by demand. Its a damn shame what they're doing and the situation they've created and put you in. I hope they come to thier senses on that, because it's stuff like this that strains or completely destroys a family relationship. I wish you luck.
And thats why americans are moraly so behind every european, and also another reason why most are covered in debts, letting your child live in your house free of charge until they are 25 makes it so much easier for them to actually obtain a living space without making the rest of their life miserable, if my parents demanded 70% of my income at such a young age i wouldnt even look at them for the rest of my life, i aint here to be you passive income, im your child for fuks sake, if you bring a living being into this shitty world you better be down to taking care of them no matter what
YTA. Your parents have given you a roof over your head your entire life. You are an adult and you are now sponging off them, living under their roof and contributing nothing. Their legal obligation to you is finished. Time to grow up. Right now you are a parasite. Pay them the rent they want (which is not unreasonable in the slightest) or leave and try to stand on your own two feet. Instead you want to live in the basement like a troll for free.
This mindset is how you get your kid to resent you. Doing the bare fucking legal minimum (I.e, if they did not they would go to prison) is not the flex people think it is. Its your responsibility as a parent, it was your choice to be one. Why bother being a parent and wasting 18 years when you don't what is absolutely the best for them and every advantage you could possibly give them? This is the reason I don't have kids, because I cannot do that currently. What a waste of time... if you're just going to treat the life you created as just another person and hinder their early years as an adult, genuinely shouldn't have bothered having kids in the first place and helped reduce the Human impact on the planet. We don't need more people, so if you are going to create a life and not do everything in your power to give them a better life than you, you are wasting our finite globalb resources and time and also creating a future troubled person. The planet cannot hold infinite people, so save it for people who will or can do that. Get a dog or a tortoise instead like me lmao. And before anyone comes at me, even if this kid was working full time hours, he's 18. Just finished school. Has spent the last 16 years of his life forced through education. Is he not allowed some time to be free for a bit and think about what he wants in life and to just enjoy it for what it is? It has been 5 months. Regularly here in the UK the poshies talk about their gap yaah which is a year. If he worked full time he has no skills that will seperate him from everyone else who wants a job in this market, and your minimum wage is like 7 dollars. If he's working 37 hours a week that's 1184 before deductions of any sort. This kid is not going to be able to get a well paying job fresh out of high-school. Especially when the benefits system wouldn't aid him because he is with his parents, and he won't be able to afford higher education or to save for it from the sounds of it. Is it reasonable to ask your child to sacrifice 50 percent of their full-time income to you? When you are already well off (OPs parents have luxury cars)? And the argument of oh rent is more elsewhere isn't important. The rental market is well known to be a rip off run by borderline scum and unaffordable even for people on ok wages. This is a time of difficulty. On top of that, he's their flesh and blood. Not just some guy. Really surprised at these comments. Sure he comes across as a bit of a dick but most teens are tbh.
Legal obligation yes, but there should be a moral obligation to care for the life you created. And giving a roof over your child's head is literally *the bare fucking minimum requirement* and not something to literally hold over your kids head.
Nta
I'm going to give you a pity NTA in this sea of Y T A. It is ridiculous of your parents to ask 500$ a month considering you bearly make that. Parents should be more reasonable with there children especially when they are making an effort to go back to school. Now remember this you might not have your own kitchen or bathroom but how much are you paying in groceries and how much you paying in utilities? That money you spent on games is probably a bit less then they spend on groceries.
NTA why are your parents asking for over 60% of your monthly paycheck? Half of their mortgage. This stupid American thing of making your children pay to live in your house. I never understand how parents can ask that of their kids. If you were much older I could understand more, or if the amount was substantially less/was more of a contribution. Find a flat share and get some independence and maybe they can find a lodger to pay their mortgage not their own child.
NTA. This comment section is a cesspool. Where I live (not the US) , it's normal for people who graduated high school to take a year long break to adjust to adult life. Get a license, do some fun stuff, get your first job to get a hold of what it's like to work, etc. Throughout this year, nobody, especially your parents, tries to extort you out of your hard earned money. When I took my year off, I got a job so I could finally upgrade my PC, not so I could watch 80% of it go away at the end of the month. Of course, my parents told me I'd have to pay rent if I abandoned studying, but they did give me that year to figure out what I wanted to do next with my life. 18 year olds are barely adults, people. Let them think what they want in life instead of instantly seeing them as a profit maker.
YTA dude $500 for rent and all bills included is insanely cheap. You’re expecting your parents to drive you around, but you don’t want to pay rent? Legally they don’t have to keep you at all so you can try to throw it in their faces but they can kick you out and then you’ll see how truly expensive it is to rent. You have a bathroom and a kitchen you just share them and if you have a room to sleep in that’s a bedroom. How do you think landlords get away with shared homes? As long as everyone has their own private room (which you have) it doesn’t matter if they share everything else. You’re not just renting that singular room you’re paying to live in the whole house and use everything in the house.
I agree with Drakeblood on this thread, but here's my thoughts and advice Just prefacing that I think a lot of these comments are coming across as extremely ignorant, judgemental and unhelpful. OP I wouldn't say you're a hard TA, if anything you're a soft one, but really I think your post comes across as you being quite young and not having much real life experience - which isn't a problem and we all have to start somewhere 🙂 You state somewhere in this thread that you're 18 and I'm assuming been in full time education since an early age, so I calculate that to be the best part of two decades. It seems like you've not worked before this recent job, so that is another slight point of concern, most teenagers try to earn money through part time work and then they don't have to be reliant on family. Can you confirm what the situation is with the welding school? Do you have the qualifications for it? Is it like an apprenticeship? On the face of it, it sounds like a worthy job and I hope you make a success of it. To people complaining that you should have been working more hours or even full time as soon as you presumably left education, I'd say ignore them. be working full time, ignore them! My solution to your problem would be as follows, I would propose speaking to your parents and working out some sort of deal with them, I agree that giving them well over half of what you're currently making (if it comes to $800) is pretty crazy. Is there some sort of negotiation you guys could do? Like actually working out what the percentage of "rent" would be, plus bills (and taxes) and maybe some money toward food? Are you able to demonstrate to them what you'd do with your salary? Like breaking down what you intend to do your monthly salary and if you're saving, what the money is going toward? You mention you're learning to drive, is the plan to get a car? That presumably will be expensive but will enable you to have a lot more freedom and independence and not be reliant on them. Alternatively when do you plan to move out? Regarding being TA, I do think you shouldn't have bought the games, or certainly as many as you did as it comes across as both naive and entitled. I don't think throwing your interpretation of rental laws around the family is the way to go either. You need to handle this like an adult and sit down and speak to your family and fully explain your position and gain a greater understanding of their mindset. Welcome to real world, it sucks, you're gonna love it! Haha. In terms of your living situation, I also agree with other posters saying you'd be unlikely to get a better deal anywhere else, though it's always good to explore options like sharing with friends etc.
Ok, for the reason this is my first job, my parents wouldn't allow me to get one if my grades were less than ideal, and I also wasn't expecting this, so I saw no real reason to have one. For the car, I have one that my dad's friend is gifting me, and I can daily that without any problems. The welding program is something I started thinking about after graduation, because family kept bugging me about college. It's a beginner to pro program, anyone can join, but I didn't have the money and I don't want student loan debt. Not only do I need tuition, it's in the Midwest and I'm not. The games, they were all on sale and all games I've been wanting for a while, so I made it clear to my parents I was going to buy them with my own money, that's why I bought them all.
Thank you! What do you mean you weren't expecting this? As in you weren't expecting to have to work at all and you're effectively being forced to work now? And make a decision regarding college/further education or a full time job? If you have been off since June and we're now mid to late November, that's getting on for about 4 and a 1/2 to 5 months which is a long time to not be doing anything at all? Don't also be reliant on a family friend for a vehicle, it would be well worth saving up to buy a cheap runaround, especially as you're statistics are against young drivers, you're a lot more likely to crash and then you'll have potentially p*ssed off a friend and will have no vehicle at all and be back at square one. Are you sure you want to do the welding programme? There's nothing which is more accessible closer to you? You do also need to get out of your head a bit, which is difficult I know and have an adult and frank conversation, as with further evidence it is sounding like they just want what's best for you. I think the point about the games is that it's not a good look to be complaining about money in the post and then saying you've spent $150 on some games on sale! My advice for now would be to get out of your own head, go for a walk etc. then find the courage and the balls and sit down with your family and discuss your situation properly. I hope this helps and you can reach a resolution - I'm not quite sure what the issue is anymore? Is it the fact that they're asking you to contribute $500 of your monthly pay to them and you feel this is unfair because you can't afford it and you contribute around the house as it is? Also what do you mean by your room being a former recording studio? How long has it been your room? This needs clarification.
You're being a dick to your parents, and you'll feel embarrassed about this when you're older.
And his parents aren’t being a dick to him by increasing the rent by 525% because they didn’t like it?
Sadly I don’t think they will. Their post history just oozes entitlement.
YTA - you live in their house and they make the rules - don't like it, go live somewhere else
bro is actually crying about $500 rent. That doesn’t exist near me, would kill for that
YTA. It's quite obvious to anyone reading this the 10% deal was agreed on because they expected you to work normal hours for someone both of age and not studying. You paid way more for video games than you paid your parents in rent. They are now pissed because of that (understandably), and also because your claims of being unable to work more than 12-15 hours should really say that you're unwilling. In the comments you're talking about moving out of state, starting in the trades, etc. If you're unable to navigate paying $500 to your parents you're not going to be able to come close to doing these other things. Your behavior is all you can control, look real critically at that behavior.
NTA no one asked to be born and when parents treat their kids like burdens and try kick them out at the earliest opportunity is imo disgusting. These comments are heartbreaking, seriously Americans seem to have a reputation for loving therapy but don’t half know how to f up the future generations.
I agree, the thing i find stupid is half of the other comments say TA
If my kid "shut down" a conversation about rent in my house when they are an adult, I would "shut the door" in his damn face with him on the outside. You have a room with access to a kitchen and bathroom, that is all that is required. They don't have to renovate the whole basement for you. Get off your entitled butt and get a job that pays more, or a second one.
YTA, completely unreasonable and quite possibly in for a schooling in real life very soon
NTA. $500 is ridiculous and parents absolutely should not be charging a child months out of high school that amount.
“They brought up the idea of me paying rent but I quickly shot it down bc of my plans not including a summer job” I actually laughed at this YTA tho. Bringing up NY laws when you’re talking about living with your parents is corny and I mean if that’s really how you want it then fine just move out. Good luck finding another place to stay at in NY for $500.
NTA - you have bad parents
Americans are wild. It’s an I got mine you get yours world here and Reddit is all for it. I was born and raised here and it still surprises me how cold American parents are.
YTA. That’s a whole lotta legal jargon you’re trying to use for a grown adult who can’t even legally drive a car and makes $800 dollars a month. Minimum wage in NY is $15 so you’re working at most 10-15 hours a week, not in school, and demanding your parents “make you an apartment in the basement or else you’ll get authorities involved”, all while having the audacity to spend hundreds of dollars on video games? If we wanna get entitled and talk “legality”, your parents have no legal obligation to house you after you turn 18. Your extended family has no legal obligation to either, and I find it wild that you expect them to. You have every right to go find your own place. Good luck finding one for $500 a month.
YTA - sorry kid but you have no bargaining position here. Think through your posture and see where that leads. Your counter proposal is totally out of line for what you’re receiving (a dirt cheap NY living space). You need much more income if you’re going to do anything else. In addition to your job, you doing anything else? College? Trade school? Apprenticeship? You’re not pulling in enough money to be working full time at minimum wage…
YTA. Get a clue how the world works. The money you are paying will also be going towards the utilities your ungrateful ass uses and also the food your entitled self eats.
YTA - cooking, cleaning , laundry etc is just a part of life. If you were to rent and live on your own, you would still need to do these things and more. I find it disgraceful and reprehensible that you are abusing your parents like this. The people who paid for most of your life on earth. You sir, are as crappy and ungrateful as you can get
YTA. Move out now. Their house, their rules. Find somewhere else to think for $500.00 a month. You won't.
INFO: so, what are you going to do when they throw you out for not paying rent and for acting like you’re entitled to stay there and not pay rent? If you don’t want to pay $500, imagine what paying for a room with roommates, plus 1/2 the utilities, 1/2 the internet, your own food, needing to buy your own furniture/tv/bed/kitchen appliances, etc would be like. Look, I actually want to be on your side. I’m not a big fan of charging 18 yr olds rent when they’re still trying to find their footing. BUT unfortunately, that’s their prerogative. And you do make enough money to cover it. Your attitude is difficult to get behind. “Make renovations or I’m going to stay but not going to pay!” You’re parents can easily say, “not making the renovations, gtfo of my house.” Then you’re screwed.
Well you have options here. Move out and pay rent for the space you desire OR pay rent at your parents house. If you feel your $500 a month rent is too high, look for a rental that is less than that. I've seen closet spaces cheaper. Large walkins can fit a twin bed and you'd be all set. Buy a pot and you'll have a pot to piss in. Good luck
INFO: how old are you?
18
My friends parents charged him 500 dollars a month to rent another house on his property so he was out on his own but not really. He lived there basically 5 years until he met his now wife. When they were at the bank finalizing the loan for the house my friend and his wife were looking to buy .... the down payment the couple had was 20k which was the minimum down for the house they wanted. Parents pulled out 30k (his rent money ) and put it in down on the house which gave them a 50k down instead of the original 30. He used to always gripe about paying rent but it helped him so much and he got used to having to make a payment every month which helped him with responsibility .
NTA. Americans are wild.
Christ wtf is wrong with you Americans, what kind of shit ass relationship did most of you have with your folks? So what if the kid wanted to spend SOME of his first paycheck from his first ever job in videogames? He's a fucking kid, he's well entitled to do so. It's not like he's a 35 yo barely employed overstaying his staying, he's an 18yo kid who just got his first job. Yeah he talked about laws like he had all the knowledge in the world, so what, every fucking teenager talks like he knows everything. Would've been wiser to try and negotiate? Yes of course, but it was his parents who first and foremost put the kid in the un-fucking reasonable position of having to spend pretty much his entire paycheck in a made up rent agreement. Yes, they are in their right to do so, but don't cry afterwards when your kid goes full no contact the moment he moves out. NTA kid, find a way to negotiate an agreement that will get your parents out of your ass, and find a way to save money and move out asap.
I was charged $500 to live in my moms house when i dropped out of highschool to join the workforce instead. Did that from 16-21, every month i gave her $500 to go towards groceries, Internet, power, water, other bills ect. I think you’re having a major reality check here and your attitude is the problem. Bringing up tenant rights to your parents comes off as entitled and bratty. You could try and compromise with your parents saying something like “I’ll pay $500 but I’d really like for you guys to set aside $100 of that into an envelope/savings account to give BACK to me when i move out and I’m on my own.” That’s what my mom did for me and i ended up walking out with a good stack of cash when i moved into my first apartment. You’re being rude to your parents and you sound really entitled. Then you go any buy over $100 worth of video games? Stop acting like a child! You’re an adult and if you want to be treated as such, act like it. I’m gonna have to say YTA until you talk to your parents and work out a compromise without threatening them w the law and all that other BS. Unfortunately, welcome to being an adult in America
>My dad said I'm being unreasonable, and that I don't need the space, but I responded with "if I'm going to be treated like a tenant, I'm going to get authorities involved because my space is technically illegal". He got even more pissed, and I left him in the living room after telling him that we need to either work something out with me getting more space or he needs to dramatically lower his price, and that I wouldn't pay anything until we had that talk. At that point, if I were your dad, I would have set you and all of your belongings outside of the house and changed the locks. Don't believe me? Ask my son. It's your dads house, his rules and if something becomes unacceptable then move out. Certainly you can find plenty of bigger spaces in New York for $500 month.
YTA. I think your parents should help you get on your feet after college. My guess is that that’s how it started out with their initial 10% of salary deal. But based on the way you’re talking in this post, I don’t think they arbitrarily cut you off from that. I think you probably got yourself cut off by some combination of making demands (like your own kitchen when you can already clearly use theirs) or by not actually making real attempts to get on your feet. Maybe I’m wrong but you certainly haven’t convinced me yet. And I really don’t like the fact that you’re presenting this as you getting just one room from your parents when you obviously still have access to the kitchen/bathroom/living room and I’m 90% sure that they’re paying for your groceries, cooking you meals, and still driving you around. They don’t sound that crazy. They just sound fed up with you.
Does OP not realize they could kick him out? As somebody said, they're Kindle providing food, internet, water, etc on top of that, so it's actually pretty cheap. OP should've been a little more civil and asked for $400 per month if anything.
YTA, but I'm sure you'll be regulated by moving out and seeing how difficult things actually could be. You're young, you'll learn - and probably apologize to your parents for how you've acted during this time. You certainly have no grounds to stand on for reporting their misconduct. You're receiving a great deal on a private room in a shared space. If you're only making 800/ month, consider working more. At minimum wage in NY, that's less than 15 hours of work a week... you're in a good position to save really well if you work full time and only pay that much. Cost to live alone with bills and food will easily be a couple thousand.
YTA you don't want to pay rent there, pay rent elsewhere. You either move, or pay. Those are the only moral options.
YTA - you’re living at your parents house, not dealing with landlords. Return the games and pay your parents rent or grow up and move out.
NTA - you’re living at your parents house, not dealing with landlords. You shouldn’t be expected to pay rent to your parents beyond any reasonable extra cost.
YTA. I'd you want to know what it's like to live in a real apartment, move out. I doubt you'll get what you're asking for for $500 per month.
YTA, $500 is cheap AF. Get off your ass and find another job if needed. Grow the hell up, you're an adult.
Am I the only one thinking NTA here? 1. They changed their mind about rent based on how much their kid made, which is crappy 2. He just turned 18, this is still his childhood home. 500 a month is a lot. Yes, contribute to groceries and bills but one person most likely isn't costing their parents 500 a month, and I think it is wrong for a parent to financially profit from their child. 3. Yes OP kinda sounds like a dick...like most 18 year Olds. Yes he could be more polite but also it sounds to me that his parents made up their mind *after* he started being sassy, so it's not like the rent is a consequence to the behavior. 4. Why should OP be expected to give over 80% of his paycheck up? Maybe 500 isn't a lot of rent for someone with a real steady job but he's a kid working a low paying job (like most people do when they're 18)
YTA You want to live there, then you need to pay. They can now kick you out if they want. Be a damn grown up and start paying them rent.
YTA - you are acting like a toddler. Grow up.
YTA- you are an adult now. Either pay the rent to your parents or move out and pay rent to someone else. Just so you know, you are unlikely to find cheaper rent than $500. *You don't get to decide you just aren't going to pay rent and still live there. You need a reality check. Bills come before wants so yes rent needs to be paid before you buy yourself a bunch of video games.
YTA. Try moving out and see how tough it is to live outside your parents roof. Grow up buddy.
INFO: Do you buy groceries, pay electricity, water, etc.? Overall tho, YTA. There's a lot going on in terms of why you're only making $600-800 a month, why you can't drive yourself and need a parent/guardian, and all the other services your parents are providing. Not great of them to yell, of course, but I can understand their frustration. They don't want to kick you out because you obviously **need** them to function day to day, but they also need contributions for that as you're an adult. they are hoping you feel like you want to contribute and be more responsible, but you offered 10% of $600-800. You offered less than $100 for rent and board and electricity and what else? Food, water, driving you around so gas and car maintenance, etc. too? . You're not just paying for rent, you're clearly paying for more than that. You want to be treated like a tenant while not acting like a tenant. Go check out rent and so on elsewhere for something similar. Check how much that costs, what else you'll need to pay, what else you'll have to replace (transport, groceries, etc.). You can negotiate, of course, but I'd be pissed if you were offering $60-80 per month and then spent $150 on games. You do not have such disposable income. Who gives a shit they were on discount? You're telling them you don't have money available, fucking lowball them like that, and then spend 2x what you offered for rent on video games? Low earners do not spend 10% of their income on rent (plus you get more than just rent). So yeah, you wanna be a responsible adult, either offer more and negotiate or move out and see how hard it really is out there. You really have no idea how good you have it like that :p You clearly aren't capable of taking care of yourself. Or understanding exactly how much is going where. You're not paying half the mortgage. Yes, YTA for how you're behaving.
Firstly YTA. Secondly. your demands of a bathroom and kitchen are not valid as an excuse not to pay rent. The basement has been converted into a bedroom BUT it is an ATTACHED basement. Its not a separate entity, which means you still have unobstructed access to a kitchen/bathroom in the main house. Now if this was a unit separate from the house entirely on the property that had no bathroom/kitchen then yes you'd be right to demand said renovations. However, this is NOT the case, therefore you HAVE NO CASE. You still have full access to a bathroom and kitchen, they are not locking you away etc. As for the rent, that' fucking cheap. 500 a month in NYC? that is BELOW market price. I can't get a studio for under 1200 in NJ and thats in the bad neighborhoods. Oh btw that doesn't include utilities. AT ALL. So in reality to rent a STUDIO near me its close to 2k, I also need to make 3 times the rent in income, provide income verification forms and the whole 9yrds JUST to apply. Also first and lasts month rent, a security deposit (typically a months rent) admin fees, application fees, pet deposit (plus pet rent) and thats JUST for the apartment! No lights, water, heat etc. Instead of acting like a bratty child, maybe sit down with them and negotiate a proper rent price, and get a second job. I'm serious. if you are barely making 1k a month that is NOT enough to live on, and I know a welder, that field is one of the hardest fields to make it in. Because you need to be able to follow orders, directions and the like and deal with shitty hands you WILL be given. Fair warning they won't be pretty. Welders work LONG ass hours, 10-16hr shifts depending on the contract. And if you are JUST starting the program let alone your (typically low to no paid) apprenticeship, you really are up the creek without a paddle. As for the games. that was irresponsible. I'm all for giving oneself treats, I just did today plus a couple Christmas gifts to friends. But the difference is, I have two jobs and can pay my bills WHILE saving up for the deposits I'mma need to move the fuck out. You also need to get your license if possible, or a bus pass, or something to rely less on your parents. They aren't your saviors anymore. time to buckle down, get another job (warehouses pay great and honestly the skills learned are worth it for life lessons and challenges) and start paying rent. I don't care about the chores, because doing laundry typically is your own same for cooking and doing dishes. You are NOT providing enough housework if they want money. Time to grow up and buckle down to get yourself where you should be.
YTA. You wouldn't be able to rent an entire apartment anywhere else in NY for only 500. You should be saving your money, not blowing it on games. It's okay to buy a few but spending 150 on games when you barely have any savings is foolish. And the authorities aren't going to punish your parents. You remind me of Michael Rotondo. He was thirty and got evicted by his parents for refusing to pay rent. He was a lot like you; he called the authorities on his parents too. But his parents didn't get in trouble; he did. Instead of waiting for more hours at your job, get a second job to tide you over till you get put on full-time at your first job.
YTA. Glad you aren't my kid.
If you're in school, no rent but chores to help out. Not in school, then now your just a dependant and need to help with your burden.
Oh my. YTA. Entitlement. I have such a difficult time relating to this. It wasn't an option for me to not pay rent after graduation. It was expected and communicated to me that post-graduation, I could stay, but I'd pay rent. Honestly, I couldn't wait to get on my own and worked four jobs just to make it work. I didn't want to live in my parents' house anymore. I have a difficult time understanding the entitlement. If you live in your parents' house post-graduation to save money--that's fine-- but don't disrespect their rules and requirements. I had a gaming system after graduation as well, but when I realized that I was spending too much time on it and it interfered with my goals for school and work, I sold it. I also sold the TV and DVD player for car insurance money and car repairs. If you want to reach your goals--make sacrifices. Buying an XBox and complaining about rent in your parents home after graduation expends energy that can be used to work a second or third job. End rant.
YTA. They will kick you out of their home and then you'll see that $500 is more than fair specially in NYC...
YTA. The entitlement in you is jarring. You're a shitty son ngl. They COULD just say "ok well why not go out there and get rent where you get everything you're quoting from the law and be on your own"....but you're betting on them not doing that and thinking you have leverage. It's their house. They can just do that and them asking you to pay $500, in NY of all places, is meant to teach you responsibility. You're an entitled little shit and should be put out on your ass tbh
You’re an example of why our country is failing. Yes, you’re the asshole. You should be out on your ass so you learn the hard way since the generously kind way isn’t getting through to you.
YTA. Your parents are probably getting frustrated with you as you are setting yourself up for failing at life. They have their own lives to think about which include getting ready for retirement and not supporting a freeloading kid forever You need to: a) get a driver's license. B) get a job that actually has a future The license gives you the independence to go places like say, a job. At 800/month, you're talking under 10k a year. Even a basic, minimum wage job flipping burgers should make 3x that.
You sound pretty spoiled. Welcome to the real world kid.
YTA. They don’t have to house you.