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NTA - I am without words to describe his immaturity. Bringing his video game set up into the recovery room is beyond stupidity and you were right to throw him out. He’s selfish and honestly, just tag him for child support and supervised visits only.
I was asking myself the same question.
also, OP gave birth in 2 hours! Did he really need a distraction that badly for such a short time?? Some births last 18 hours!
> Did he really need a distraction that badly for such a short time??
Probably yes. As a teacher, a good number of my students are so addicted to technology they cannot help themselves but to be constantly touching it, mindlessly scrolling through feeds etc to soothe themselves. They'll do it even when they know it means failing an exam, they just don't have the maturity to self regulate use and have developed habits and reflexes that lead them to turning to it (which sites and game companies exploit and encourage).
It's terrible and I worry about those kids and how they'll be able to cope as adults. OP's ex is 21, only a few years older than some of my students, so I guess this is how.
I was fourteen when my brother was born my mom was in labor for 21 hours. My dad brought his psp but then it died so he took my game boy advance so he wouldn’t be bored. I hate that there are more people like him out in the world….
Yeah there's a big difference between taking your own game system and playing video games while you have downtime and taking a game system from your child.
Fuuuuuuck that. The birthing mother is the reason the father is in the room-- he's her support person, not because he has any right to be there because of the baby. He doesn't need entertainment-- he is the entertainment. For her.
I brought a nice big fat book when my first kid was born, with the reasoning that there would be some downtime in between and my wife & baby wouldn't need my full attention all the time.
That was correct, the birth itself took three days and then I had four weeks of leave/vacation to get us into some kind of routine.
Only... when I returned to work after all that, I was still on the same book. And when the next in the series came out a year later I had to reread it because I could not remember a damn thing.
Doesn't make much difference if you are reading a book, fiddel on your phone, or bring a smaal portable device. Labour can be a waiting game. Point is of course how does the mother (patient) feel. I have send some time with husband during labour (early stages, duh) while he was fiddeling on his phone and I was reading a book. But when push came to shove, he was very active and participating.
This isn't the same AT ALL, but you just reminded me of post hurricane Ian when my aunts MIL came to stay because her house was under water.
My aunt and her husband are divorcing, and at the time, the husband was staying in the guest room. When his mother arrived, my aunt gave everything to the MIL... Her bedroom with the only TV in the house and attached bathroom (moved into a kids' room), extra clothes, chargers, accepted her cats everywhere... then husband came and asked my aunt for her kindle for MIL.
Oh. Fuck. No. That was the last straw, and he could see it written all over her face. Her KINDLE? Her last bastion of sanity, the books that she waits months for from the library? There's a whole wall of paper books, ready to be read!
He backed away and rescinded the request.
OP's husband and your father did not have the same call to sanity.
Absolutely.
"I want custody."
"Well, it seems here you cannot be away from video games for more than two hours. What makes you think you can parent an infant that relies on you for its every need?"
I can already hear the judge laughing at the temper tantrum of a 21 year old guy about not being able to play video games in the hospital room to 'spend some quality time with his son'. XD
Ehhh. I’m pretty sure at least a couple of my siblings used GameCube controllers as teething aids.
I didn’t. I used my father’s cell phones. Way more portable, way less waterproof. The carrier was wondering why there were so many replacements on his account, so he brought me with him, happily chewing away on a Motorola.
No way a dude like that has any sort of decent job, so no use going for child support.
Just leave him be, he’s probably too lazy to actually take you to court— so enjoy your son and leave baby daddy out of it. NTA.
Ops bf sounds sadly like my ex. He spent the 14+ hours i was in labor in the parking lot getting drunk with his friends. By the time i delivered, he could barely stand (the nurses had to stop caring for me as i was crowning to find his sloppy ass a chair as he was to drunk to stand) from said chair he proceeded to grab my head and try to shove it betweed my legs so i could "see this shit, its crazy!!" while i grit out " i dont need to see it i can fucking FEEL it" And when all is said and done, before he passed out on the floor, he stupidly says, with all the wonder of a toddler at Christmas " babe, i didnt know a snapper could do that!" 🙄😒😓
Some men(?) shouldn't be allowed within a country mile of a delivery room. I agree with u/vt2022cam go for child support and be prepared for a lifetime of explaining to your kid that their dad is a "simple" guy.
Agreed. When I was 20 (f), my best friend went in to labour while I was on a night shift (8pm - 7am). She rang asking if I'd go to hers and walk round the sofa with her. I was walking home when her bf rang. They'd gone to hospital and still wanted me there. So I did what I needed and went to hospital. I was there until 4:30pm, nothing to keep me entertained and no sleep. It wasn't even my baby, in the UK had you turned up as he did you'd be booted out instantly. Its beyond a joke that bringing that to a l&d room is allowed.
My stbx had his phone/3DS on our son, then his switch for our daughter.
When I had my son another gal was in a different room. He had brought his Xbox, TV for labor AND rode his scooter (leg in cast or something) up and down the hall. Could literally hear him yelling at his game while in labor. 2-3 doors down.
I am glad this is the top response. All I could think of while reading this was how immature this guy is. It just makes it all the more staggering to me how many women seem to want to be with him.
Look out for yourself and your child op - this guy isn't it.
And OP needs to rest and recover, not listen to the bleep-bleeps, pow-pows, and other noises coming from her ex's gaming system. Plus gamers tend to loudly exclaim over every little thing that happens. He'd probably disturb the whole maternity ward.
NTA. Who tries to bring a TV and a video game console into the hospital room where their child is being born? EDIT: Unless it was agreed upon, in which case that’s fine.
Hospitals are boring as hell if you're not actively attending to the needs of your loved one but ... a TV? Bring a book. Bring a trilogy if it's a long stay. Or a charger if you're addicted to your smartphone.
But a whole-ass TV, PlayStation, and controller? At the very least you're bringing in unnecessary germs — nobody disinfects their TV.
We brought all the star wars movies for my first. We thought we would be there a long time but my labor was quick. The doctor who gave me my epidural kept finding excuses to check on me so he could watch the movies with us. A video game to going to be loud. I hear my boys playing rooms away. That isn't a good situation for a sleeping baby. NTA. Get someone else to take you home.
There was a Star wars marathon on TV for my induction! I ended up getting my epidural during revenge of the sith and regaled the anesthesiologist with how much I love Ewan McGregor.
We only lasted through the Phantom Meanace. This was a long time ago and we had video tapes. It was the only prequel movie out. The next room we were moved to didn't have a vcr so we were bored at that point.
During my last labour, it was pretty quiet and so I had 2 midwives assigned to my birthing suite. We ended up watching Pinks Truth About Love tour on my ipad and singing. I was trying to distract myself from back labour
Oh, man, too bad my wife doesn't like this sort of movie, I won't get to steal this idea.
Maybe I'll bring something really long and boring instead. If I bore the baby enough, maybe they'll try to get out of there faster!
I took my xbox 360 when I was having my first and I took my PS4 when I had my second. I could hook it up to the TV in the delivery room. If I got bored of Fallout 3 I played the sims 3 on my laptop. So my eldest son was born to the music of fallout 3.
To be fair, when I got induced I brought.my.switch so my husband and I could play Mario party together while waiting for the Big Event. But A) I brought it and B) I chose when it came out. And once the baby was there, it stayed in the bag. Ugh. Some people make me weep for the future.
Lol, I should not type reddit comments while only half paying attention. We did not put our newborn in a bag. That is frowned upon. We put her in a box like people of culture.
Yea I realize that my response maybe made it seem like I was equating the two. I guess I wanted to say there are ways to do it without being an asshole.
My husband was the best while I was in labor and in hospital. He brought a sleeping bag and I didn't hear a single peep out of him about conditions. I was there for two nights (infection kept me in an extra day) and he was set in his little corner. It was truly magical.
I wish I had brought a video game console! I was in labor a loooong time and all I could watch was House Hunters and other stuff on HGTV. I had a book, a good one I saved for labor, but I couldn't concentrate on it or on any complicated TV. So it was HGTV. My husband also saved a book for labor but he was able to concentrate better than I could. *HE* wasn't in pain, and didn't have an IV pushing fluids into him so he wasn't waddling to the toilet every half hour. So much fun, with my ass hanging out of the gown and wires coming out of my hoo-ha.
House Hunters is fun to watch but seriously annoying at times.
"I make matchstick sculptures and my husband works 1 hour a week in a butterfly garden. Our budget is $1.5 million."
My husband and I did bring our switches and were planning on bringing a dock, but to hook up to the in room TV. We didn't end up using them more than a few minutes each. But note that we brought the portable system, not Xbox or PlayStation.
We brought our switch and it's TV stand thing cause the hospital already has a TV with cable!
We ended up watching a Ghost Hunters marathon on cable. The night after our son's birth, a local theme park location was airing. I was so excited. It's a tiny location, but pretty popular around here. The cleaning lady came in to take out the trash and what not. She noticed what was on and freaking say down! She was disappointed that she had to work during the premier of this particular episode. We chatted during a commercial and she ended up staying for almost the whole episode and came back just in time for the reveal. This cleaning lady was one of the best people I met during that birth.
I brought my Nintendo Switch for when I was in labor. Took my mind off the contractions somewhat. lol
But OP, NTA! Just get him out of your life. You've seen the preview of what kind of "dad" he's going to be.
NTA. YOU are the patient here, you get to choose who can be in your room or not. He doesn't get to make it cozy for him and bring entertainment : his hobby right now is taking car of his newborn.
Agree! NTA- and the fact that he said “you had no right to…” when hospital staff and security made it really clear that you did have a right to kick him out just says that he’ll be constantly telling you false versions of what you “can”’and “cannot” do…. You don’t need that drama!
OP is the one who had a baby pushing against her insides for two hours, she and her newborn son are the ones needing the attention, not a video game (and I’m a gamer).
The fact he still brought in his TV and PlayStation and tried to make it about himself and his video games after you said no is enough evidence that this is NOT someone you want in your childs life.
NTA
Ngl. If i was giving birth i might like to play some video games, but the fucking audacity of occupying space in the hospital room where someone has just given birth to your child while not only not helping them, nor spending time with the child but being obsessed with how YOUR gonna be entertained? No. NTA. Bring a book and a bookmark cuz you're gonna need to put it down a lot to help the patient to the bathroom
Yeah but only a switch and only when mom is sleeping, and discreetly. Otherwise, you’re on support duty, whatever she needs. I would be humiliated if my baby’s dad brought a fucking tv in, let alone the whole… I need you to be as present and invested in this as me.
The thing here is he was not giving birth, plus wanted to bring the setup also after birth, when the only reason for him to be in the hospital was to take care of & bond with the baby.
Yeah. That's the audacity part. If she wanted to play video games, dragging in a system would be cool. I'm not ragging on the video games, im ragging on the person who doesn't get that this isn't about him
>"I (19F) just had a baby 1 day ago. His father (21M) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating."
All I needed to read. NTA. He cheated.
This is like discussing the arrangement of deck chairs on the Titanic while it was sinking.
He cheated while they were together - has had a "couple" of girlfriends since then - about four to five months,
And she is worried about whether kicking him out of the hospital room made her an ass?
What kind of relationship does she actually want with this person?
Does she trust him with any kind of custody with her son? He’s not got the best track record for making wise decisions, and has put his own comfort above basic safety for the baby.
I couldn't get past the myopia of OP wondering whether kicking the father out of the hospital was an asshole move when the entire situation was such a train wreck.
It is hard to envision any kind of future scenario in which the Baby Daddy is going to step up to the plate and transform into a responsible co-parent. Of course it would be great if I were wrong.
Which is unethical, but that's a separate issue from co-parenting arrangements. People have a moral duty to their child to put their negative feelings for the other parent aside.
I mean to be fair there’s some labor scenarios where a switch is fine. I had mine. I was induced on a Wednesday around 1pm but kiddo didn’t arrive until 3am on Friday. We had lots of time to kill while I was SLOWLY progressing. I didn’t mind my hubby playing switch while I read kindle or watched shows. That said, in OPs 2 hour active labor scenario- he’s an asshole. Especially once baby was born to double down on gaming, he’s an even bigger asshole. “But you’re preventing me from seeing my son!” No sir. The tv/playstation did because that’s what he intended to spend his time doing while mama recovered obviously. My husband did NOT touch the switch once kiddo arrived.
There can be a LOT of downtime depending on the specifics of the labor. It's unreasonable to say someone can't have anything at all to pass said downtime. Of course, a TV and gaming console are not reasonable either. A Switch could be perfectly fine if it doesn't detract from the needs of the person giving birth or the child once birthed.
I wish they would have had this when I gave birth to my kids. I love Smash Brothers. Even beat my grandson in one challenge. My favorite character is Jigglypuff and her siren song has actually put me to sleep before, lol. Maybe not such a good idea if I'm trying to give birth and I hear her singing! :)
NTA
That’s your hospital room for you to recover from the birth. It’s not his hang-out space. *No one* should be in there that isn’t helping you relax and recover.
NTA. He can’t respect your requests after giving birth to his child. Also I would be concerned if he thinks spending time with his kid is playing on a gaming system.
NTA. Speak only through a designated parenting app from now on, even after custody & child support details either mediated or court ordered. If you're feeling petty you could ask how he thinks playing video games would count toward spending time with his new son.
If you're in the US, you're in the hospital about 24 hours or so. I remember the first few days being a blur of pain, constant feedings, trying to rest in between. Zero "downtime."
I noticed he made the entire ride TO the hospital about him. As well as after the birth. Not the baby. Not you. Him. The nurses I know have zero patience for that and I bet they were cheering for you standing up for yourself and baby.
He was either desperate to be the center of attention himself or trying to put up a wall between you and the baby and him. None of the possible reasons are good ones.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby and for being a great mama already.
I got lucky(?) and stayed three days postpartum. Had a book and a charger with me for downtime.
Those three days went by in a blur. So many checks. So many nurses. So much pain. And when I wasn't being examined for complications we were both busy learning how to change diapers, bathe bb, feed him, memorizing warning signs of illness or problems. There wasn't enough time in the world to learn everything from the nurses before they ejected us.
NTA
Heres a fun short story for you. I went to a friends birth, she wanted me to film it for herself and her family. The babys father sat in the chair THE WHOLE TIME back towards her playing video games. I was very pissed at him, I still find it disgusting and immature, he was in his 30's. Do not let him in that childs life, he is not mature enough for it.
Nope, NTA. If he wants to be involved with your son, he needs to pay attention to your son.
A hospital is a place of quiet. Playing video games is generally not a quiet past time.
Contact an attorney to set up custody and child support agreements. In my state, Oregon, all I had to do was contact the District Attorneys office. Their child support enforcement group will work with you to get everything done.
NTA. It's absolutely mind-boggling that anyone would think it's okay to turn a delivery room into their personal gaming station instead of being present for such a monumental time. Good riddance and good luck with all the legal stuff. Holding firm on your boundaries now sets the stage for the future, and it's clear your top priority is the well-being of your child. Stick to your guns, and definitely make sure all this is well-documented for any future custody discussions.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why people should wait until they are financially, mentally, and emotionally stable to have children. That child is going to have one hell of an upbringing. Poor thing. Anyways NTA, I guess
This is a terrible idea, children aren't pawns you use to prove a point, he's already proven himself to be negligent, don't risk your child's life on the hopes that he'll get bored before anything bad happens. Plus he'll probably just find a new girlfriend to do all the parenting for him while he plays video games.
I cannot believe that he brought the entire set up to the hospital room - did he think he was going to sit there like it’s his loungeroom and play games? Sets the precedent for how ‘present’ he will be in your child’s life doesn’t it! I hope he takes that to his lawyer - ‘I showed up to the hospital with my gaming set up and was told to leave. No I didn’t bring a baby seat as requested to take my child home. There was no room coz I took my tv and it took up all the space. Yeah but I’m mad that I don’t get to spend time with my child…’ good luck buddy.
I could kinda understand someone throwing a handheld like the Switch in their bag just in case but a whole-ass TV and PlayStation is ridiculous. Play something on your phone if there’s that much downtime.
NTA
>He starts yelling at me saying that I don’t make the rules
Pretty damn funny. It's your hospital room. You sure as hell make the rules as to who is going to be in the room.
Guess the nurse taught him that lesson.
My condolences to you. You're in for a rough ride trying to co-parent with someone who acts this entitled and selfishly.
NTA
There are no rules to bring his TV and PlayStation..... Well in my hospital it is because it could be a fire hazard if the equipment is faulty. It's also rude because buddy is going to cause a ruckus. So I would be happy to send him and his toys away. Yes I've been called all the names, but the patient usually love me when I throw out their rude, thoughtless, loud asshole visitors NTA
NTA and today I learned through this thread that the expectations for soon to be fathers are even lower than I thought. When I gave birth, my husband passed the time trying to distract me from the discomfort and pain. We chatted and he attended my every needs. Good on you for showing healthy boundaries at your young age! From now on concentrate on yourself and your baby, don't spend too much energy on this immature moron but also don't let him off the hook concerning child support.
Better keep that human away from you, he'll be disappointing your child on a daily basis. NTA, who worries about getting bored when their child is about to be born?
NTA. And don’t worry about the custody thing. Even if he sticks around, no judge is going to give the person who cares more about a tv and PlayStation than newborn baby.
Nta - it's unfortunate but I've read that once people show you who they are, you should believe them.
This is him without being so sleep deprived he's hallucinating?
He can't leave his video games at home to take care of you and your child?
Who is going to be doing all of the baby care? You I guarantee it.
Congratulations on your new child. I hope you've people in your life who will help.
I was in labour for 19 hours with my 2nd. Apparently we (my mom, the nurse, and me) watched Analyse This like 3 times on the hospital tv. I still have no idea what it's about.
i don’t think a day old baby can play video games quite yet… so that throws the “spending time with him” excuse away… it sounds like your sperm donor is a piece of work. nta
If he does battle you in court for custody, it's unlikely he'll have full custody considering that a) you literally have a child a day ago, so needs proper nursing, and b) his constant cheating which doesn't make him a good role model.
So uh, nta.
Reproducing with this person was certainly… a choice. A very teenage choice - which I don’t mean condescendingly, I just want to observe that both of you are very young and immaturity sounds like it is going to be a problem for any attempts at coparenting until some growing up happens, stat. Obviously NTA and he is a blockhead, btw.
NTA - there are not enough words to describe his immaturity and stupidity that he has shown so far. If I were you, I would start making plans to move on without him because you do not want to live with someone who has the maturity of a block of wood.
NTA, this was your birth experience, and it is necessary to be in a state of calm as much as possible for yourself and your baby. Congratulations, and I hope that you and the baby are well.
NTAH his rights to his child don't start till your discharged courts won't side with him or call it parental alienation. Legally he was allowed to be kicked out by your care team.
Hope you had pictures for proof to the judge.
"He bought his gaming system into my hospital room to spend time with his son'. Yeah, what judge would rule in that guys favour?
Plus, no baby sit for the ride home.......screams child focused
NTA, but rememer your child's relationship with their father isn't a reflection of his relationship with you. A child isn't a bargaining chip or a weapon to exercise revenge for his cheating.
The immaturity here is astounding. He is a child having a child. Until he matures, if ever, know that he will be selfish. Continue to be strong and find other resources and family support. NTA.
NTA - and for any custody stuff, as othrrs said, save evidence (especially of his aggressive behaviour).
That aside - him demanding to keep his PS4/TV there despite you warning him several times and telling him not to makes me wonder if he might be addicted to gaming. This behaviour, especially getting so angry over it, isn't normal nor is it acceptable.
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> I believe I might be an asshole because now my son’s father can not see his son because I did not want him playing his playstation in my delivery room.
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NTA. He's too immature to be a father and any judge would agree as soon as you mentioned he brought a TV to the hospital to watch during/after the delivery instead of a car seat for the baby. Lose the dead weight. If he can't be grown enough to not bring a freaking TV to the hospital then he isn't grown enough to be allowed into your child's life.
You are the patient and the hospital is concerned about your well-being, not his. NTA. You gave birth and are recovering. Childbirth is not an easy experience. His ignorance shines.
Tell your ex that if he needs entertainment he can slip a book in his back pocket. Sounds like you’d better plan on getting a lawyer and better not plan on much help from the ex. NTA
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Nta I'm really sorry op. Congratulations on your new son. Hopefully the father steps up. Spending time with the baby doesn't equal him being in the room while he places Xbox.
NTA Gosh that’s a terrible situation to be in, you are not in the wrong at all. This man seems to be stuck with a childish mentality, if he can’t even bring a car seat to the hospital when you’re actively about to give birth how is he going to be a father? You were right to kick him out of the room, the last thing you need right now as a new mother is having to deal with the stress of a man who’s not stepping up. I can’t believe he found a tv more important than the birth of his first child.
Save the text messages of him bringing his TV.
Also tell.him he is welcome to.visit tv free for quality time during visiting hours. Keep track if he shows up. And text when he doesn't. This will help you provide context when doing cust9dy battle.
NTA 100%- this dude had the *audacity* to claim you "don't make the rules" and you "should be grateful" but he's done the absolutely *buckwild* thing and PACKED AN ENTIRE TELEVISION *AND* HOME CONSOLE TO MOVE INTO THE HOTEL ROOM *DESPITE THE OBJECTIONS OF THE PERSON WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH.* As a gamer myself who maybe is a bit too attached to my viddygames, *if gaming is so damn important that he **absolutely NEEDED** to have a way to get his fix of pixels,* even though the *entire Goddamn **point*** of being in the hospital room with a mother who just gave birth is to **be there for her and for the baby,** he could have stuck to a handheld or his phone, which would then remain *in his pocket(s) whenever his help is needed.*
Trying to force the entire semi-permanent setup like that when the entire reason you're separated is because he was cheating feels like life is trying to send you a ham-fisted metaphor: if you give him an inch, he'll yank a mile clean out from under you. Don't budge, for your own sake and the baby's. Hopefully kicking the baby's father from the hospital is the most eventful part of this whole ordeal.
NTA
Who in the heck brings a TV and PlayStation to a hospital AND to the birth of their child? That is beyond insane and your boyfriend seems to only care about himself and his needs.
Unfortunately, that is the way it is nowadays with many people and there is no age limit.
Yes, you had the right to have him removed. He wasn't making anything easier and you don't need someone in your room with their TV playing their video games.
The best of luck to you and your baby and don't let your boyfriend dictate anything to you.
NTA. He can go to court for custody time. When/ if a judge grants that, he can play video games in his own living space while watching your child. He has no right to bring anything into your space without your permission. Also huge laugh at "spending time with his son" but he'll understood that eventually. Which is sadly probably when he will give up contact.
NTA he shows signs of becoming a great dad...not. When he thinks "being there for someone" and "spending time with someone" is linked to \_just\_ being physically in the same room - he has some growing up to do. Being 21 is still very young - so not all hope is lost... but you will need to do a lot of parenting to get him there...
NTA, the TV and console are clearly more important to him. How does he think he's gonna spend time with the baby if he's glued to his TV. You need rest after giving birth, not deal with an immature AH.
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I (19F) just had a baby 1 day ago. His father (21M) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating. He’s had a couple other girlfriends since then and is still with one of them currently, but he still did go to most of my appointments with me.
2 days ago when I went into labor I called him, he came to pick me up to bring me to the hospital and he had his entire TV and playstation in the backseat, with no car seat for the baby. I told him he is not bringing that to the hospital and he told me if I want him to be there for our son’s birth he needs something to do to pass the time. We argued about it almost the entire ride to the hospital, but he ended up not bringing it in.
I was only in labor for about 2 hours before I gave birth, he was there the entire time. A couple hours after I gave birth, my dad and sister came to visit and he left as the hospital has a 2 visitor only rule. I told him while they’re here visiting for him to go bring his TV back home and install the car seat so when they discharge us we will be all set. After a few hours my family leaves, and I text him to tell him he is welcome to come back if he would like.
Around 20 minutes later he’s walking back into my room, carrying his TV. We start arguing about how I already told him he is not having that in my room and he starts yelling at me saying that I don’t make the rules and that I should be grateful that he wants to be there for our son but instead I’m trying to make him miserable. I told him he can either bring the TV back to his car or he can leave, he said he has a right to spend time with his son.
I called my nurse into the room and told her I want him to leave, so they ended up kicking him out. He yelled at me the entire time he was leaving saying that I’m kicking him out of his son’s life and that he will be going to court for custody. He has texted me since saying that I’m taking his rights away from him and there is no rules that he couldn’t bring his own TV and game system while he spends time at the hospital.
AITA for making him choose between the TV or leaving?
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NTA that room is YOURS! YOU are the patient. YOU are the one that just gave birth. YOU are the one that needs rest. He is a child that should probably have supervised visitation. If the guy can't make it a few hours in the hospital "to spend time with his child" without bringing his own entertainment, then I would be terrified to leave him alone with the baby.
NTA. My fiancé is a gamer and he managed 3 whole days without them when I gave birth. He left the hospital for about 3 hours each night to run home and spend some time with our dog. My sil and I were pregnant at the same time and our due dates were a month apart. My BIL and fiancé joked that if we ended up giving birth at the same time, they’d each have to bring their setup so they could play rocket league together. But it was a joke because they both cared way more about being their for the women who were birthing their children than playing games.
But as a sad note: my sil is an L&D nurse and she has seen MULTIPLE men being their entire gaming setups into the room and play games while their SO is literally birthing their child.
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NTA - I am without words to describe his immaturity. Bringing his video game set up into the recovery room is beyond stupidity and you were right to throw him out. He’s selfish and honestly, just tag him for child support and supervised visits only.
Nta. His reasoning is also beyond stupid. How exactly is he going to “spend time with his [newborn] son” while also playing video games??
It's never too early to start teaching them about ideal army composition and combat width.
Gotta build those grand theft auto skills young. How else will Sonny boy support Dad in early retirement?
I divorced my ex for a LOT of reasons but you can bet your ass GTA was more than one of them.
I was asking myself the same question. also, OP gave birth in 2 hours! Did he really need a distraction that badly for such a short time?? Some births last 18 hours!
> Did he really need a distraction that badly for such a short time?? Probably yes. As a teacher, a good number of my students are so addicted to technology they cannot help themselves but to be constantly touching it, mindlessly scrolling through feeds etc to soothe themselves. They'll do it even when they know it means failing an exam, they just don't have the maturity to self regulate use and have developed habits and reflexes that lead them to turning to it (which sites and game companies exploit and encourage). It's terrible and I worry about those kids and how they'll be able to cope as adults. OP's ex is 21, only a few years older than some of my students, so I guess this is how.
I was fourteen when my brother was born my mom was in labor for 21 hours. My dad brought his psp but then it died so he took my game boy advance so he wouldn’t be bored. I hate that there are more people like him out in the world….
Even if I was using games to distract myself from anxiety, I can't imagine taking something from my child for myself.
Yeah there's a big difference between taking your own game system and playing video games while you have downtime and taking a game system from your child.
Fuuuuuuck that. The birthing mother is the reason the father is in the room-- he's her support person, not because he has any right to be there because of the baby. He doesn't need entertainment-- he is the entertainment. For her.
Hasn't anyone ever heard of books?
I brought a nice big fat book when my first kid was born, with the reasoning that there would be some downtime in between and my wife & baby wouldn't need my full attention all the time. That was correct, the birth itself took three days and then I had four weeks of leave/vacation to get us into some kind of routine. Only... when I returned to work after all that, I was still on the same book. And when the next in the series came out a year later I had to reread it because I could not remember a damn thing.
Daddy brain is a thing
Doesn't make much difference if you are reading a book, fiddel on your phone, or bring a smaal portable device. Labour can be a waiting game. Point is of course how does the mother (patient) feel. I have send some time with husband during labour (early stages, duh) while he was fiddeling on his phone and I was reading a book. But when push came to shove, he was very active and participating.
Small and portable is one thing. A whole tv and gaming system is another thing entirely.
My Dad watched football in another room while my mom was dying.
I'm sorry that happened. So callous.
It’s a good indication of why I still miss my mom but hardly ever even think of my dad (he passed away a few years ago).
This isn't the same AT ALL, but you just reminded me of post hurricane Ian when my aunts MIL came to stay because her house was under water. My aunt and her husband are divorcing, and at the time, the husband was staying in the guest room. When his mother arrived, my aunt gave everything to the MIL... Her bedroom with the only TV in the house and attached bathroom (moved into a kids' room), extra clothes, chargers, accepted her cats everywhere... then husband came and asked my aunt for her kindle for MIL. Oh. Fuck. No. That was the last straw, and he could see it written all over her face. Her KINDLE? Her last bastion of sanity, the books that she waits months for from the library? There's a whole wall of paper books, ready to be read! He backed away and rescinded the request. OP's husband and your father did not have the same call to sanity.
OP should also save screenshots of his texts if they ever go to court.
Absolutely. "I want custody." "Well, it seems here you cannot be away from video games for more than two hours. What makes you think you can parent an infant that relies on you for its every need?"
Let's not forget the "there isn't *room* for the approved car seat, b cause I need my tv!"
I can already hear the judge laughing at the temper tantrum of a 21 year old guy about not being able to play video games in the hospital room to 'spend some quality time with his son'. XD
Ehhh. I’m pretty sure at least a couple of my siblings used GameCube controllers as teething aids. I didn’t. I used my father’s cell phones. Way more portable, way less waterproof. The carrier was wondering why there were so many replacements on his account, so he brought me with him, happily chewing away on a Motorola.
No way a dude like that has any sort of decent job, so no use going for child support. Just leave him be, he’s probably too lazy to actually take you to court— so enjoy your son and leave baby daddy out of it. NTA.
File for child support anyway, so that if he ever gets a tax refund, etc. it will go to his child’s mother instead.
Ops bf sounds sadly like my ex. He spent the 14+ hours i was in labor in the parking lot getting drunk with his friends. By the time i delivered, he could barely stand (the nurses had to stop caring for me as i was crowning to find his sloppy ass a chair as he was to drunk to stand) from said chair he proceeded to grab my head and try to shove it betweed my legs so i could "see this shit, its crazy!!" while i grit out " i dont need to see it i can fucking FEEL it" And when all is said and done, before he passed out on the floor, he stupidly says, with all the wonder of a toddler at Christmas " babe, i didnt know a snapper could do that!" 🙄😒😓 Some men(?) shouldn't be allowed within a country mile of a delivery room. I agree with u/vt2022cam go for child support and be prepared for a lifetime of explaining to your kid that their dad is a "simple" guy.
Why did they even allow someone so drunk into the ward?
Agreed. When I was 20 (f), my best friend went in to labour while I was on a night shift (8pm - 7am). She rang asking if I'd go to hers and walk round the sofa with her. I was walking home when her bf rang. They'd gone to hospital and still wanted me there. So I did what I needed and went to hospital. I was there until 4:30pm, nothing to keep me entertained and no sleep. It wasn't even my baby, in the UK had you turned up as he did you'd be booted out instantly. Its beyond a joke that bringing that to a l&d room is allowed.
My stbx had his phone/3DS on our son, then his switch for our daughter. When I had my son another gal was in a different room. He had brought his Xbox, TV for labor AND rode his scooter (leg in cast or something) up and down the hall. Could literally hear him yelling at his game while in labor. 2-3 doors down.
I am glad this is the top response. All I could think of while reading this was how immature this guy is. It just makes it all the more staggering to me how many women seem to want to be with him. Look out for yourself and your child op - this guy isn't it.
And OP needs to rest and recover, not listen to the bleep-bleeps, pow-pows, and other noises coming from her ex's gaming system. Plus gamers tend to loudly exclaim over every little thing that happens. He'd probably disturb the whole maternity ward.
I'm honestly baffled they even let him into the room with a tv.
NTA. Who tries to bring a TV and a video game console into the hospital room where their child is being born? EDIT: Unless it was agreed upon, in which case that’s fine.
Hospitals are boring as hell if you're not actively attending to the needs of your loved one but ... a TV? Bring a book. Bring a trilogy if it's a long stay. Or a charger if you're addicted to your smartphone. But a whole-ass TV, PlayStation, and controller? At the very least you're bringing in unnecessary germs — nobody disinfects their TV.
We brought all the star wars movies for my first. We thought we would be there a long time but my labor was quick. The doctor who gave me my epidural kept finding excuses to check on me so he could watch the movies with us. A video game to going to be loud. I hear my boys playing rooms away. That isn't a good situation for a sleeping baby. NTA. Get someone else to take you home.
There was a Star wars marathon on TV for my induction! I ended up getting my epidural during revenge of the sith and regaled the anesthesiologist with how much I love Ewan McGregor.
We only lasted through the Phantom Meanace. This was a long time ago and we had video tapes. It was the only prequel movie out. The next room we were moved to didn't have a vcr so we were bored at that point.
During my last labour, it was pretty quiet and so I had 2 midwives assigned to my birthing suite. We ended up watching Pinks Truth About Love tour on my ipad and singing. I was trying to distract myself from back labour
Oh, man, too bad my wife doesn't like this sort of movie, I won't get to steal this idea. Maybe I'll bring something really long and boring instead. If I bore the baby enough, maybe they'll try to get out of there faster!
Eh I think like a handheld switch is fine but the tv was going too far
When I was in labor I had the extended editions of LOTR. It was awesome.
I took my xbox 360 when I was having my first and I took my PS4 when I had my second. I could hook it up to the TV in the delivery room. If I got bored of Fallout 3 I played the sims 3 on my laptop. So my eldest son was born to the music of fallout 3.
Everything about this tells me my dude has never read a book...
Why do people forget they can *read* to pass the time. There are literally kindle and library apps to read on your phone.
To be fair, when I got induced I brought.my.switch so my husband and I could play Mario party together while waiting for the Big Event. But A) I brought it and B) I chose when it came out. And once the baby was there, it stayed in the bag. Ugh. Some people make me weep for the future.
"Once the baby was there, it stayed in the bag"
Lol, I should not type reddit comments while only half paying attention. We did not put our newborn in a bag. That is frowned upon. We put her in a box like people of culture.
I too giggled at the baby staying in the bag.
See, that’s fine (and good and sweet, actually!)
Yea I realize that my response maybe made it seem like I was equating the two. I guess I wanted to say there are ways to do it without being an asshole. My husband was the best while I was in labor and in hospital. He brought a sleeping bag and I didn't hear a single peep out of him about conditions. I was there for two nights (infection kept me in an extra day) and he was set in his little corner. It was truly magical.
I can just imagine the baby being born and you hear Mario saying: "It's me! Mario!" with fanfare music to boot. Lol
Sorry to disappoint but it is way way more men than you think it is/want it to be.
Probably a lot more after reading this
I wish I had brought a video game console! I was in labor a loooong time and all I could watch was House Hunters and other stuff on HGTV. I had a book, a good one I saved for labor, but I couldn't concentrate on it or on any complicated TV. So it was HGTV. My husband also saved a book for labor but he was able to concentrate better than I could. *HE* wasn't in pain, and didn't have an IV pushing fluids into him so he wasn't waddling to the toilet every half hour. So much fun, with my ass hanging out of the gown and wires coming out of my hoo-ha.
House Hunters is fun to watch but seriously annoying at times. "I make matchstick sculptures and my husband works 1 hour a week in a butterfly garden. Our budget is $1.5 million."
All I did was watch TV. With my second, had the wonderful "Kingdome Of The Spiders" starring William Shatner. I hate spiders!
My SIL let her bf do this! I was shocked but she’s still with him even though it pissed her off.
My husband and I did bring our switches and were planning on bringing a dock, but to hook up to the in room TV. We didn't end up using them more than a few minutes each. But note that we brought the portable system, not Xbox or PlayStation.
We brought our switch and it's TV stand thing cause the hospital already has a TV with cable! We ended up watching a Ghost Hunters marathon on cable. The night after our son's birth, a local theme park location was airing. I was so excited. It's a tiny location, but pretty popular around here. The cleaning lady came in to take out the trash and what not. She noticed what was on and freaking say down! She was disappointed that she had to work during the premier of this particular episode. We chatted during a commercial and she ended up staying for almost the whole episode and came back just in time for the reveal. This cleaning lady was one of the best people I met during that birth.
I brought my Nintendo Switch for when I was in labor. Took my mind off the contractions somewhat. lol But OP, NTA! Just get him out of your life. You've seen the preview of what kind of "dad" he's going to be.
People who want to play games *while they are in labor*. Everyone else can fuck off.
NTA. YOU are the patient here, you get to choose who can be in your room or not. He doesn't get to make it cozy for him and bring entertainment : his hobby right now is taking car of his newborn.
Agree! NTA- and the fact that he said “you had no right to…” when hospital staff and security made it really clear that you did have a right to kick him out just says that he’ll be constantly telling you false versions of what you “can”’and “cannot” do…. You don’t need that drama!
OP is the one who had a baby pushing against her insides for two hours, she and her newborn son are the ones needing the attention, not a video game (and I’m a gamer).
The fact he still brought in his TV and PlayStation and tried to make it about himself and his video games after you said no is enough evidence that this is NOT someone you want in your childs life. NTA
Ngl. If i was giving birth i might like to play some video games, but the fucking audacity of occupying space in the hospital room where someone has just given birth to your child while not only not helping them, nor spending time with the child but being obsessed with how YOUR gonna be entertained? No. NTA. Bring a book and a bookmark cuz you're gonna need to put it down a lot to help the patient to the bathroom
Yeah but only a switch and only when mom is sleeping, and discreetly. Otherwise, you’re on support duty, whatever she needs. I would be humiliated if my baby’s dad brought a fucking tv in, let alone the whole… I need you to be as present and invested in this as me.
The thing here is he was not giving birth, plus wanted to bring the setup also after birth, when the only reason for him to be in the hospital was to take care of & bond with the baby.
Yeah. That's the audacity part. If she wanted to play video games, dragging in a system would be cool. I'm not ragging on the video games, im ragging on the person who doesn't get that this isn't about him
Yeah just so you know, he's gonna be a bad father lmao. But I'm sure you know that
Shit, he already is. NTA OP. Congrats on your baby <3
>"I (19F) just had a baby 1 day ago. His father (21M) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating." All I needed to read. NTA. He cheated.
This is like discussing the arrangement of deck chairs on the Titanic while it was sinking. He cheated while they were together - has had a "couple" of girlfriends since then - about four to five months, And she is worried about whether kicking him out of the hospital room made her an ass? What kind of relationship does she actually want with this person?
A mutual co parenting one
Does she trust him with any kind of custody with her son? He’s not got the best track record for making wise decisions, and has put his own comfort above basic safety for the baby.
I couldn't get past the myopia of OP wondering whether kicking the father out of the hospital was an asshole move when the entire situation was such a train wreck. It is hard to envision any kind of future scenario in which the Baby Daddy is going to step up to the plate and transform into a responsible co-parent. Of course it would be great if I were wrong.
Which is unethical, but that's a separate issue from co-parenting arrangements. People have a moral duty to their child to put their negative feelings for the other parent aside.
And is on the second girlfriend since breaking up with OP, which was six months ago.
This is why they invented the switch. Portable, without the need for a whole TV 🤦 you've dodged a bullet. Congrats on your bubba
Hubs shouldn’t be playing switch either… If a grown man can’t take a break from gaming to be with his partner while she births HIS child….
I mean to be fair there’s some labor scenarios where a switch is fine. I had mine. I was induced on a Wednesday around 1pm but kiddo didn’t arrive until 3am on Friday. We had lots of time to kill while I was SLOWLY progressing. I didn’t mind my hubby playing switch while I read kindle or watched shows. That said, in OPs 2 hour active labor scenario- he’s an asshole. Especially once baby was born to double down on gaming, he’s an even bigger asshole. “But you’re preventing me from seeing my son!” No sir. The tv/playstation did because that’s what he intended to spend his time doing while mama recovered obviously. My husband did NOT touch the switch once kiddo arrived.
There can be a LOT of downtime depending on the specifics of the labor. It's unreasonable to say someone can't have anything at all to pass said downtime. Of course, a TV and gaming console are not reasonable either. A Switch could be perfectly fine if it doesn't detract from the needs of the person giving birth or the child once birthed.
Of course. But OP’s issue was not just the console haha
Agreed. This guy would've been unhelpful no matter what. I really feel for OP being stuck in some capacity with this asshole for a lifetime.
I wish they would have had this when I gave birth to my kids. I love Smash Brothers. Even beat my grandson in one challenge. My favorite character is Jigglypuff and her siren song has actually put me to sleep before, lol. Maybe not such a good idea if I'm trying to give birth and I hear her singing! :)
This, I had to bring my Xbox 360 when I gave birth to my son. Once I got the epidural, though, I had some time to relax and play some L4D.
Had to? You didn’t have to take an Xbox 360 to the delivery room at all 😂
Those L & D nurses are sharks, don't piss them off. No, he shouldn't be there wasting both of your time. NTA.
On levels of scary when needed I consider them third (behind NICU and PICU/peds oncology)
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Document everything!
NTA That’s your hospital room for you to recover from the birth. It’s not his hang-out space. *No one* should be in there that isn’t helping you relax and recover.
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And screenshot the texts! Even create an album in your photos with them so it’s organized/ easy to find
NTA. He can’t respect your requests after giving birth to his child. Also I would be concerned if he thinks spending time with his kid is playing on a gaming system.
NTA. Speak only through a designated parenting app from now on, even after custody & child support details either mediated or court ordered. If you're feeling petty you could ask how he thinks playing video games would count toward spending time with his new son.
If you're in the US, you're in the hospital about 24 hours or so. I remember the first few days being a blur of pain, constant feedings, trying to rest in between. Zero "downtime." I noticed he made the entire ride TO the hospital about him. As well as after the birth. Not the baby. Not you. Him. The nurses I know have zero patience for that and I bet they were cheering for you standing up for yourself and baby. He was either desperate to be the center of attention himself or trying to put up a wall between you and the baby and him. None of the possible reasons are good ones. Congratulations on your beautiful baby and for being a great mama already.
I got lucky(?) and stayed three days postpartum. Had a book and a charger with me for downtime. Those three days went by in a blur. So many checks. So many nurses. So much pain. And when I wasn't being examined for complications we were both busy learning how to change diapers, bathe bb, feed him, memorizing warning signs of illness or problems. There wasn't enough time in the world to learn everything from the nurses before they ejected us.
NTA Heres a fun short story for you. I went to a friends birth, she wanted me to film it for herself and her family. The babys father sat in the chair THE WHOLE TIME back towards her playing video games. I was very pissed at him, I still find it disgusting and immature, he was in his 30's. Do not let him in that childs life, he is not mature enough for it.
Nope, NTA. If he wants to be involved with your son, he needs to pay attention to your son. A hospital is a place of quiet. Playing video games is generally not a quiet past time. Contact an attorney to set up custody and child support agreements. In my state, Oregon, all I had to do was contact the District Attorneys office. Their child support enforcement group will work with you to get everything done.
NTA no means no, plus he should prioritize his child's safety over a game console
NTA. It's absolutely mind-boggling that anyone would think it's okay to turn a delivery room into their personal gaming station instead of being present for such a monumental time. Good riddance and good luck with all the legal stuff. Holding firm on your boundaries now sets the stage for the future, and it's clear your top priority is the well-being of your child. Stick to your guns, and definitely make sure all this is well-documented for any future custody discussions.
NTA. And give your child \*your\* last name!
Nta you said no and it's you giving birth. You're the priority.
NTA. Don't engage and save all those texts.
NTA. He clearly has no actual interest in being there for his son if he can't actually * be there* instead of playing effing video games.
File for custody right away. NTA
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why people should wait until they are financially, mentally, and emotionally stable to have children. That child is going to have one hell of an upbringing. Poor thing. Anyways NTA, I guess
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This is a terrible idea, children aren't pawns you use to prove a point, he's already proven himself to be negligent, don't risk your child's life on the hopes that he'll get bored before anything bad happens. Plus he'll probably just find a new girlfriend to do all the parenting for him while he plays video games.
LOL NTA. Big words about custody from a child who chose video games over a car seat.
Stupidly, he thinks spending time with his son involves watching tv and playing video games. NTA
I cannot believe that he brought the entire set up to the hospital room - did he think he was going to sit there like it’s his loungeroom and play games? Sets the precedent for how ‘present’ he will be in your child’s life doesn’t it! I hope he takes that to his lawyer - ‘I showed up to the hospital with my gaming set up and was told to leave. No I didn’t bring a baby seat as requested to take my child home. There was no room coz I took my tv and it took up all the space. Yeah but I’m mad that I don’t get to spend time with my child…’ good luck buddy.
I could kinda understand someone throwing a handheld like the Switch in their bag just in case but a whole-ass TV and PlayStation is ridiculous. Play something on your phone if there’s that much downtime. NTA
A TV that takes up the whole back seat.
>He starts yelling at me saying that I don’t make the rules Pretty damn funny. It's your hospital room. You sure as hell make the rules as to who is going to be in the room. Guess the nurse taught him that lesson. My condolences to you. You're in for a rough ride trying to co-parent with someone who acts this entitled and selfishly. NTA
NTA. This guy sucks. I'm sorry you're going to have to deal with him for at least the next 18 years.
There are no rules to bring his TV and PlayStation..... Well in my hospital it is because it could be a fire hazard if the equipment is faulty. It's also rude because buddy is going to cause a ruckus. So I would be happy to send him and his toys away. Yes I've been called all the names, but the patient usually love me when I throw out their rude, thoughtless, loud asshole visitors NTA
I love oddly specific rules. Like don't bring an entire gaming set up into the recovery room. There's going to be one now for him.
NTA and today I learned through this thread that the expectations for soon to be fathers are even lower than I thought. When I gave birth, my husband passed the time trying to distract me from the discomfort and pain. We chatted and he attended my every needs. Good on you for showing healthy boundaries at your young age! From now on concentrate on yourself and your baby, don't spend too much energy on this immature moron but also don't let him off the hook concerning child support.
Kids having kids....
Better keep that human away from you, he'll be disappointing your child on a daily basis. NTA, who worries about getting bored when their child is about to be born?
Not sure about the “human” part
NTA. And don’t worry about the custody thing. Even if he sticks around, no judge is going to give the person who cares more about a tv and PlayStation than newborn baby.
Nta - it's unfortunate but I've read that once people show you who they are, you should believe them. This is him without being so sleep deprived he's hallucinating? He can't leave his video games at home to take care of you and your child? Who is going to be doing all of the baby care? You I guarantee it. Congratulations on your new child. I hope you've people in your life who will help.
Don’t the hospital rooms have tvs anyways? Ours did.
I was in labour for 19 hours with my 2nd. Apparently we (my mom, the nurse, and me) watched Analyse This like 3 times on the hospital tv. I still have no idea what it's about.
birth is not a LAN party NTA
I'm afraid you've got two babies to deal with.
i don’t think a day old baby can play video games quite yet… so that throws the “spending time with him” excuse away… it sounds like your sperm donor is a piece of work. nta
If he does battle you in court for custody, it's unlikely he'll have full custody considering that a) you literally have a child a day ago, so needs proper nursing, and b) his constant cheating which doesn't make him a good role model. So uh, nta.
Reproducing with this person was certainly… a choice. A very teenage choice - which I don’t mean condescendingly, I just want to observe that both of you are very young and immaturity sounds like it is going to be a problem for any attempts at coparenting until some growing up happens, stat. Obviously NTA and he is a blockhead, btw.
ESH You are both too immature to be parents. Poor kid.
NTA - there are not enough words to describe his immaturity and stupidity that he has shown so far. If I were you, I would start making plans to move on without him because you do not want to live with someone who has the maturity of a block of wood.
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NTA, this was your birth experience, and it is necessary to be in a state of calm as much as possible for yourself and your baby. Congratulations, and I hope that you and the baby are well.
NTA but your ages tell me all there is to know about the level of maturity.
Nta
NTA
NTAH his rights to his child don't start till your discharged courts won't side with him or call it parental alienation. Legally he was allowed to be kicked out by your care team.
NTA
NTA and no court is going to award him custody because he wasn’t allowed to bring his PlayStation into the recovery room.
I am sooooo sorry to hear that you're locked in with this asshole. It's going to be a long ride.
NTA. I highly doubt he wants custody LOL. He obviously loves games first. Proud of you.
Hope you had pictures for proof to the judge. "He bought his gaming system into my hospital room to spend time with his son'. Yeah, what judge would rule in that guys favour? Plus, no baby sit for the ride home.......screams child focused
Sounds like an episode of Teen Mom. NTA
NTA. And DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate.
NTA, but rememer your child's relationship with their father isn't a reflection of his relationship with you. A child isn't a bargaining chip or a weapon to exercise revenge for his cheating.
The immaturity here is astounding. He is a child having a child. Until he matures, if ever, know that he will be selfish. Continue to be strong and find other resources and family support. NTA.
NTA - and for any custody stuff, as othrrs said, save evidence (especially of his aggressive behaviour). That aside - him demanding to keep his PS4/TV there despite you warning him several times and telling him not to makes me wonder if he might be addicted to gaming. This behaviour, especially getting so angry over it, isn't normal nor is it acceptable.
ESH except for the baby.
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No way bro brought a playstation and a whole ass TV to his child's birth 😭😭
NTA
NTA. He's too immature to be a father and any judge would agree as soon as you mentioned he brought a TV to the hospital to watch during/after the delivery instead of a car seat for the baby. Lose the dead weight. If he can't be grown enough to not bring a freaking TV to the hospital then he isn't grown enough to be allowed into your child's life.
NTA
Glad you dumped him. Sounds like a big baby himself. You should be grateful? Yes, because we all know women make babies all by themselves 🙃. NTA.
You are the patient and the hospital is concerned about your well-being, not his. NTA. You gave birth and are recovering. Childbirth is not an easy experience. His ignorance shines.
Tell your ex that if he needs entertainment he can slip a book in his back pocket. Sounds like you’d better plan on getting a lawyer and better not plan on much help from the ex. NTA
Nta, go to court and establish custody immediately.
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Nta I'm really sorry op. Congratulations on your new son. Hopefully the father steps up. Spending time with the baby doesn't equal him being in the room while he places Xbox.
NTA. I didn’t even know this was a thing. No way I’d be gaming while my son is being born. Tf!?
NTA Gosh that’s a terrible situation to be in, you are not in the wrong at all. This man seems to be stuck with a childish mentality, if he can’t even bring a car seat to the hospital when you’re actively about to give birth how is he going to be a father? You were right to kick him out of the room, the last thing you need right now as a new mother is having to deal with the stress of a man who’s not stepping up. I can’t believe he found a tv more important than the birth of his first child.
Save the text messages of him bringing his TV. Also tell.him he is welcome to.visit tv free for quality time during visiting hours. Keep track if he shows up. And text when he doesn't. This will help you provide context when doing cust9dy battle.
NTA 100%- this dude had the *audacity* to claim you "don't make the rules" and you "should be grateful" but he's done the absolutely *buckwild* thing and PACKED AN ENTIRE TELEVISION *AND* HOME CONSOLE TO MOVE INTO THE HOTEL ROOM *DESPITE THE OBJECTIONS OF THE PERSON WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH.* As a gamer myself who maybe is a bit too attached to my viddygames, *if gaming is so damn important that he **absolutely NEEDED** to have a way to get his fix of pixels,* even though the *entire Goddamn **point*** of being in the hospital room with a mother who just gave birth is to **be there for her and for the baby,** he could have stuck to a handheld or his phone, which would then remain *in his pocket(s) whenever his help is needed.* Trying to force the entire semi-permanent setup like that when the entire reason you're separated is because he was cheating feels like life is trying to send you a ham-fisted metaphor: if you give him an inch, he'll yank a mile clean out from under you. Don't budge, for your own sake and the baby's. Hopefully kicking the baby's father from the hospital is the most eventful part of this whole ordeal.
I would like to see this play out in court. "I wanted to spend time with my baby by bringing a TV and console"
That’s absurd
NTA Who in the heck brings a TV and PlayStation to a hospital AND to the birth of their child? That is beyond insane and your boyfriend seems to only care about himself and his needs. Unfortunately, that is the way it is nowadays with many people and there is no age limit. Yes, you had the right to have him removed. He wasn't making anything easier and you don't need someone in your room with their TV playing their video games. The best of luck to you and your baby and don't let your boyfriend dictate anything to you.
NTA I hope you find someone that is more mature in the future
NTA. Sounds like you have 2 kids.
NTA lmao his "rights". He can fuck right off.
NTA. He sounds pretty ridiculous.
I imagined this story taking place in the 90's lmao, tube tvs, Playstation 1, grain filter. INFO: Does he have a mullet?
NTA. He can go to court for custody time. When/ if a judge grants that, he can play video games in his own living space while watching your child. He has no right to bring anything into your space without your permission. Also huge laugh at "spending time with his son" but he'll understood that eventually. Which is sadly probably when he will give up contact.
NTA he shows signs of becoming a great dad...not. When he thinks "being there for someone" and "spending time with someone" is linked to \_just\_ being physically in the same room - he has some growing up to do. Being 21 is still very young - so not all hope is lost... but you will need to do a lot of parenting to get him there...
There is no way the hospital allowed him to bring a TV and setup somewhere. This story isn't real.
When you date a child, you deal with child-like behaviour. NTA
NTA, the TV and console are clearly more important to him. How does he think he's gonna spend time with the baby if he's glued to his TV. You need rest after giving birth, not deal with an immature AH.
NTA. He’s not ready to be a father.
This guy has no clue how to rsise a kid.
He's immature as hell but why are we surprised? He's 21, she's 19. This is why you don't have kids when you're still a kid.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (19F) just had a baby 1 day ago. His father (21M) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating. He’s had a couple other girlfriends since then and is still with one of them currently, but he still did go to most of my appointments with me. 2 days ago when I went into labor I called him, he came to pick me up to bring me to the hospital and he had his entire TV and playstation in the backseat, with no car seat for the baby. I told him he is not bringing that to the hospital and he told me if I want him to be there for our son’s birth he needs something to do to pass the time. We argued about it almost the entire ride to the hospital, but he ended up not bringing it in. I was only in labor for about 2 hours before I gave birth, he was there the entire time. A couple hours after I gave birth, my dad and sister came to visit and he left as the hospital has a 2 visitor only rule. I told him while they’re here visiting for him to go bring his TV back home and install the car seat so when they discharge us we will be all set. After a few hours my family leaves, and I text him to tell him he is welcome to come back if he would like. Around 20 minutes later he’s walking back into my room, carrying his TV. We start arguing about how I already told him he is not having that in my room and he starts yelling at me saying that I don’t make the rules and that I should be grateful that he wants to be there for our son but instead I’m trying to make him miserable. I told him he can either bring the TV back to his car or he can leave, he said he has a right to spend time with his son. I called my nurse into the room and told her I want him to leave, so they ended up kicking him out. He yelled at me the entire time he was leaving saying that I’m kicking him out of his son’s life and that he will be going to court for custody. He has texted me since saying that I’m taking his rights away from him and there is no rules that he couldn’t bring his own TV and game system while he spends time at the hospital. AITA for making him choose between the TV or leaving? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA that room is YOURS! YOU are the patient. YOU are the one that just gave birth. YOU are the one that needs rest. He is a child that should probably have supervised visitation. If the guy can't make it a few hours in the hospital "to spend time with his child" without bringing his own entertainment, then I would be terrified to leave him alone with the baby.
NTA. My fiancé is a gamer and he managed 3 whole days without them when I gave birth. He left the hospital for about 3 hours each night to run home and spend some time with our dog. My sil and I were pregnant at the same time and our due dates were a month apart. My BIL and fiancé joked that if we ended up giving birth at the same time, they’d each have to bring their setup so they could play rocket league together. But it was a joke because they both cared way more about being their for the women who were birthing their children than playing games. But as a sad note: my sil is an L&D nurse and she has seen MULTIPLE men being their entire gaming setups into the room and play games while their SO is literally birthing their child.
NTA. And he is NOT ready for the responsibility of being a father
NTA. My 11 year old son wouldn't even do anything this immature. Wow