This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA this is completely between you and your wife.
Even worse this wasn't your sister being supportive, she was just putting you down right after you got cheated on and just took your wife's side.
Your sister and Anne seem really close and I believe that she either values her more than you, or she just doesn't want to upset her life by having to choose later. Your friend also sucks tbh. I got angry just reading the post, you must be feeling like crap and every time you try to vent you are told to not make waves.
NTA.
'didn't mean any harm' my ass.
birds of a feather flock together, remember?
this whole mess has nothing to do with her, it is between your wife and you.
what really irks me is the fact that anne told you the dirty, you went to the bedroom to think and suddenly you sister calls you. so anne must have called sister to get her to help getting you 'in line' with their shtick - anne with the usual cheater bs 'buhuhu it was a one time mistake / i only love you / therapy / drunk / didn't mean anything / etc pp'. sister with stick & carrot 'she is beautifull, rich and you (implied) loser will never get another girl like her'.
guess what, sis, not getting another anne may not be so bad. it may reduce the possibility that wife #2 is a cheater, too!
as for your friend, people who defend cheater and their flying monkeys, well, birds of a feather...
i am sorry for what happened to you.
take the time you need to figure out what you want, what you can forgive, what you can stomach. if you can get the fear, this damocles sword hanging over your marriage 'when will she cheat again and with whom' out of your system and behind you.
be prepared to move (temporarily) out of your home then i fear that the love bombing 'i cooked your favorite dinner to show i am a good wife', the waterworks 'i am sooo sorry', the silent attemps at guilt tripping 'if you really love me you would forgive me' will start in the next few hours and it will hinder you to think clearly.
on top of the pressure from the outsider, the flying monkeys who will do their best to reel you back in, to get you to toe the line they drew in the sand.
by totally ignoring that you are the wronged party here and only you have the right to decide if and when you will forgive & forget anne. tomorrow, next month, in 3 years, never - you decision to make.
yours alone.
and if you have to block your sister to be able to think clearly to come to a decision you can live with, too bad for her.
DO NOT move out of the house until you talk to a lawyer.
If you are headed for divorce there are things that seem logical and normal to everyone but can bias the divorce proceedings. Only a lawyer in your city/state/country can tell you what to do to protect yourself.
NTA
It sounds like your sister knew about it. Fuck her and fuck Anne. Your "friend" is stupid and wtf if an actual friend came to me with such horrible and devastating news I wouldn't tell them that ignoring someone is wrong the opposite, you need fucking time to get through this.
I am sorry but every person just fails you on so many levels, you deserve better people around you.
Yeah I second this. The sister knew and said nothing until the wife came clean. I wonder if she would have said anything if the wife had never spoke up herself
NTA.
It sounds like your sister was super dismissive of what was likely a very large and shocking revelation in your marriage.
She didn't check up on you. She didn't ask where your head was at. She simply inserted herself into the situation in a way that wasn't kind.
I can understand the tiniest bit that this would be confusing for her too as she's likely torn between two loyalties but it cost her nothing to stay in her own lane.
Right! But she wasn’t acting torn at all (which would be understandable as you said). She actively chose Anne even so much as to denigrate her brother and say he’ll never get someone like her again so he should forget his hurt and suck it up
You do know why this wasn't a shock to the sister right? And why she was sooo fast to pick sides? She picked sides the moment she found out about it, a good while before husband found out...
Let me tell you this, your sister knew at kept it quiet, in hallf an hour she already have all proceced and started her pardon pitch? No way. Your sister priorities are twisted
NTA
So assuming that your sister is also married, is it ok for her husband to cheat if he makes more money than she does? I’m thinking she wouldn’t “just stay with him and pretend nothing’s ever happened." NTA
The far bigger issue is can you see a situation in which you can trust your wife again? That’s really the only way you can possibly stayed married IMO. You guys need some serious counseling and therapy. And your sister should stay out of it.
NTA. This is entirely between you and tour wife. Your sister's views on the situation are irrelevant, and unwanted.
She needs to butt out right now, or she risks making the situation even worse.
NTA. Your sister has no right trying to make decisions in your relationship, that’s between you and your wife. It might have come from a place of trying to be helpful, her saying that you wouldn’t find anyone else, makes it sound like you only have one option. You need to have a proper discussion with your wife and see if you can either work through this or not, but you both have to be 100% truthful, no barriers or walls over the truth
NTA Take your time and decide how you want to proceed with your wife. Just tell your sister you need time and space and you’ll call her back when you’re ready.
NTA
You should stop your sister having any more influence in your life. Immediately.
This is your decision alone. No one else will be in your place as you go through with either reconciliation or divorce.
It doesn’t matter, in any meaningful way, what other people think or want. They won’t be living through this. It’s your pain to heal from and your future to decide. I’m sorry and good luck,
NTA and there’s more to life than beauty and wealth but your sister is a bitch for trying to say you couldn’t find that she’s not a seer nobody knows what your capable of champ and it sounds like your sister cares a lot more about the feelings of your wife than you screw em both
Get rid of them both neither of them have your best interest at heart. Or keep them both and when your sister’s husband cheats and she’s really in the shit about it just tell her to stay with him see how she likes it.
Take this with a grain of salt, but I’m just going to say your sister probably isn’t a good person (or at least in a relationship with someone else) and should think about that too…
Seems like her life priorities are a bit superficial and materialistic. I’d be cautious if I were her husband or wife.
NTA. Cheating isn’t a small thing and for your sister to be so dismissive and to encourage staying because of money is bonkers. Your „friend” sounds just as dumb as your sister.
Marriage is about love, respect, partnership. Not money, lying, and turning a being eye to fooling around behind your back. You deserve better.
People that haven't been betrayed have no idea what it causes to the betrayed... The trauma we experience by being cheated on lasts for years... I believe your sister never went through it and I hope she doesn't but if she has no experience in the matter, she shouldn't have an opinion.
This is your life, your heart, your relationship and entirely your decision to make. Ignore everyone, look into yourself and decide what you want to do. Be careful of trauma bond at first, it makes you not think clear.
If you don't have kids, please think really hard on what you want to do, as you can forgive, but you will never forget it... Good luck!
NTA. Your sister was trying to help Anne, not you. Anyone pushing their own agenda at your expense deserves to be ignored. Is it possible your sister knew about the cheating and helped cover it up? Most siblings would not be so dismissive when you’re hurting
No, “helpful” isn’t telling someone to rug sweep a huge offense because they’re so lucky a rich, beautiful, albeit cheating woman looked their way. Talk about kicking someone when they’re already down.
I’m sorry this happened, OP. You don’t deserve this and beauty/wealth aren’t a ticket to cheat or treat others badly. Be kind to yourself (setting boundaries like you already have with your sister is a great start).
Edit: NTA - it’s early.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
‘Anne’(36) and my(37m) sister(36) are childhood best friends. We got together in high school, after she got my sister’s approval to ask me out.
Recently, Anne admitted that she slept with someone else, saying that keeping the guilt bottled up felt terrible and that it was eating away inside her. She asked if I could forgive her so I told her that I need some time to think about it.
Then I went to our bedroom and closed the door. I sat on my bed and thought about what I want to do next.
Half an hour later, my sister called me. She told me that Anne told her everything that’s happened. Then she suggested that I just forgive Anne and forget about it. Just stay with her and pretend nothing’s ever happened. She also said that I would never be able to find a beautiful and rich woman again(Anne is a dentist and makes a lot more money than I do).
So I hung up and ignored all the messages she sent after that.
The next day, I talked to my friend about this. He said I shouldn’t ignore my sister like that since she was only trying to help me and didn’t mean any harm.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for ignoring her like that since she meant well and only wanted to help me.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. And if you cheated on Anne, your sister's approach would probably be quite different.
Edit: it is amazing how the mods lock basically any post in this sub where a woman gets criticized.
NTA.
You know your sister knew about her affair, right?
You were betrayed twice: first by your wife, then by your sister.
Confront your sister. BTW, your friend is too *naive* or knew, too.
NTA. This has nothing to do with your sister and she should stay out of it. Your sister is just trying to keep her bestie in the family. It's your decision what happens with your marriage and only yours
NTA-Your sister loves her friend, not you. No loyalty. This is the first time your wife has confessed, that’s all. Cheaters don’t just do it once and stop. This is a litmus test. Are you going to be a doormat? Get a lawyer.
Nta
I don't know your sister , however I thought siblings supposed to have your back.
Don't forgive your wife , sometimes they say once a cheater always a cheater, however sometimes the cheater don't cheat again.
The real questions is if you forgive her how can you be sure she won't cheat again? Cause from what I understand she only confess because of guilt and how can you be sure that she not cheating on you with multiple people. And other question how long was the cheating was going on .
Sigh
Talk to your sister and if she don't understand I think it's best to distance yourself abit.I think you should ask your sister if she was in your shoes and her husband/ partner cheat on her would she forgive him? If she takes long to answer then you'll get your answer, and if she say yes she will forgive him then something is wrong with her. You should ask you Wife the same question aswell
And for your friend drop that person. Cheating is not right no matter what.
NTA
Your sister wants you to forget about it because she doesn't want to lose her friend and her brother.
Your sister is thinking only about herself here. She doesn't care about what you want or how you feel.
Treat your wife cheating on you the same as you would treat any other person cheating on you.
Only because your wife and your sister are childhood best friends doesn't mean you should take this lighter.
And then you have to ask yourself the following: if your wife was able to call your sister that fast and for your sister to convince you to stay with your wife, there could be a real possibility that your sister knew about the affair but didn't tell you.
Ask your sister if she knew about it before your wife told you.
And finally tell your parents and how your sister reacted.
NTA. A cheater will always cheat. I will tell you how your life is going to be if you forgive her:
- her phone rings - you will be questioning in your head who is it. Is it another guy?
- messages - Same thing
- going out - is she really going out with friends or with another guy?
- coming late from work - was she really at work?
- running errands - is she really running errands?
- etc
She might tell you she would give you acces to everything and let to spy on her, but is that how you want to live? She might also hide it better, 2nd phone, your sister that covers for her, etc.
You're the only one to know what kind of life you want to live.
NtA
From your timeline, your sister 100% knew before your wife told you. There just isn't any way your wife sees you go into the bedroom, and immediately messages your sister saying "Hey I cheated on OP and he is mad, can you tell him to forgive me?"
In reality, your sister knew before your wife told you. I'm wondering whether your sister told your wife to come clean to you, and is now trying to mitigate the fallout of that.
Whatever you go forward with, best luck. Sorry for the shitty situation.
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA
you should at least tell her that you need tine to think...
though her sidig with your cheating wife so easily and without consequences is very strange. your sister might be involved in the whole Situation!
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA this is completely between you and your wife. Even worse this wasn't your sister being supportive, she was just putting you down right after you got cheated on and just took your wife's side. Your sister and Anne seem really close and I believe that she either values her more than you, or she just doesn't want to upset her life by having to choose later. Your friend also sucks tbh. I got angry just reading the post, you must be feeling like crap and every time you try to vent you are told to not make waves.
NTA. 'didn't mean any harm' my ass. birds of a feather flock together, remember? this whole mess has nothing to do with her, it is between your wife and you. what really irks me is the fact that anne told you the dirty, you went to the bedroom to think and suddenly you sister calls you. so anne must have called sister to get her to help getting you 'in line' with their shtick - anne with the usual cheater bs 'buhuhu it was a one time mistake / i only love you / therapy / drunk / didn't mean anything / etc pp'. sister with stick & carrot 'she is beautifull, rich and you (implied) loser will never get another girl like her'. guess what, sis, not getting another anne may not be so bad. it may reduce the possibility that wife #2 is a cheater, too! as for your friend, people who defend cheater and their flying monkeys, well, birds of a feather... i am sorry for what happened to you. take the time you need to figure out what you want, what you can forgive, what you can stomach. if you can get the fear, this damocles sword hanging over your marriage 'when will she cheat again and with whom' out of your system and behind you. be prepared to move (temporarily) out of your home then i fear that the love bombing 'i cooked your favorite dinner to show i am a good wife', the waterworks 'i am sooo sorry', the silent attemps at guilt tripping 'if you really love me you would forgive me' will start in the next few hours and it will hinder you to think clearly. on top of the pressure from the outsider, the flying monkeys who will do their best to reel you back in, to get you to toe the line they drew in the sand. by totally ignoring that you are the wronged party here and only you have the right to decide if and when you will forgive & forget anne. tomorrow, next month, in 3 years, never - you decision to make. yours alone. and if you have to block your sister to be able to think clearly to come to a decision you can live with, too bad for her.
DO NOT move out of the house until you talk to a lawyer. If you are headed for divorce there are things that seem logical and normal to everyone but can bias the divorce proceedings. Only a lawyer in your city/state/country can tell you what to do to protect yourself.
NTA It sounds like your sister knew about it. Fuck her and fuck Anne. Your "friend" is stupid and wtf if an actual friend came to me with such horrible and devastating news I wouldn't tell them that ignoring someone is wrong the opposite, you need fucking time to get through this. I am sorry but every person just fails you on so many levels, you deserve better people around you.
Yeah I second this. The sister knew and said nothing until the wife came clean. I wonder if she would have said anything if the wife had never spoke up herself
NTA. It sounds like your sister was super dismissive of what was likely a very large and shocking revelation in your marriage. She didn't check up on you. She didn't ask where your head was at. She simply inserted herself into the situation in a way that wasn't kind. I can understand the tiniest bit that this would be confusing for her too as she's likely torn between two loyalties but it cost her nothing to stay in her own lane.
Right! But she wasn’t acting torn at all (which would be understandable as you said). She actively chose Anne even so much as to denigrate her brother and say he’ll never get someone like her again so he should forget his hurt and suck it up
You do know why this wasn't a shock to the sister right? And why she was sooo fast to pick sides? She picked sides the moment she found out about it, a good while before husband found out...
Eeeeeeeeee! You are RIGHT!
NTA - what on earth?? If you cheated on Anne would your sister tell her to just forgive you and get over it?
Actually, I think she would lmao sister just seems like she's in it for the money. As long as stay together she benefits from it.
Let me tell you this, your sister knew at kept it quiet, in hallf an hour she already have all proceced and started her pardon pitch? No way. Your sister priorities are twisted NTA
So assuming that your sister is also married, is it ok for her husband to cheat if he makes more money than she does? I’m thinking she wouldn’t “just stay with him and pretend nothing’s ever happened." NTA The far bigger issue is can you see a situation in which you can trust your wife again? That’s really the only way you can possibly stayed married IMO. You guys need some serious counseling and therapy. And your sister should stay out of it.
NTA. This is entirely between you and tour wife. Your sister's views on the situation are irrelevant, and unwanted. She needs to butt out right now, or she risks making the situation even worse.
NTA. Feel free to text your sister to butt out of it and let you process and make your decision and that all she needs to do is respect your decision.
The sister wasn't trying to be helpful, she just didn't want any complications in her friendship with the wife
NTA but I’m going to take a wild guess and say your sister knew about the cheating and wants this swept away quickly so you don’t find out
[удалено]
Exactly, I sure wouldn't for the life of me forgive infidelity.
NTA. Your sister has no right trying to make decisions in your relationship, that’s between you and your wife. It might have come from a place of trying to be helpful, her saying that you wouldn’t find anyone else, makes it sound like you only have one option. You need to have a proper discussion with your wife and see if you can either work through this or not, but you both have to be 100% truthful, no barriers or walls over the truth
Nta bro I bet your sister knew already
Just get a divorce and alimony.
As the man, he likely will not get fair treatment in family court, unfortunately.
Well he is getting the divorce anyway so he might as well give it a shot.
NTA Take your time and decide how you want to proceed with your wife. Just tell your sister you need time and space and you’ll call her back when you’re ready.
NTA You should stop your sister having any more influence in your life. Immediately. This is your decision alone. No one else will be in your place as you go through with either reconciliation or divorce. It doesn’t matter, in any meaningful way, what other people think or want. They won’t be living through this. It’s your pain to heal from and your future to decide. I’m sorry and good luck,
NTA and there’s more to life than beauty and wealth but your sister is a bitch for trying to say you couldn’t find that she’s not a seer nobody knows what your capable of champ and it sounds like your sister cares a lot more about the feelings of your wife than you screw em both
Get rid of them both neither of them have your best interest at heart. Or keep them both and when your sister’s husband cheats and she’s really in the shit about it just tell her to stay with him see how she likes it.
Dump her once a cheater always a cheater divorce her and take all you can from her
Take this with a grain of salt, but I’m just going to say your sister probably isn’t a good person (or at least in a relationship with someone else) and should think about that too… Seems like her life priorities are a bit superficial and materialistic. I’d be cautious if I were her husband or wife.
The fact that she did not even leave you time to process before barging through with her opinion shows she has no consideration for you NTA.
NTA. Also, your sister is cheating on whoever she is with.
NTA. Cheating isn’t a small thing and for your sister to be so dismissive and to encourage staying because of money is bonkers. Your „friend” sounds just as dumb as your sister. Marriage is about love, respect, partnership. Not money, lying, and turning a being eye to fooling around behind your back. You deserve better.
People that haven't been betrayed have no idea what it causes to the betrayed... The trauma we experience by being cheated on lasts for years... I believe your sister never went through it and I hope she doesn't but if she has no experience in the matter, she shouldn't have an opinion. This is your life, your heart, your relationship and entirely your decision to make. Ignore everyone, look into yourself and decide what you want to do. Be careful of trauma bond at first, it makes you not think clear. If you don't have kids, please think really hard on what you want to do, as you can forgive, but you will never forget it... Good luck!
NTA. Your sister was trying to help Anne, not you. Anyone pushing their own agenda at your expense deserves to be ignored. Is it possible your sister knew about the cheating and helped cover it up? Most siblings would not be so dismissive when you’re hurting
No, “helpful” isn’t telling someone to rug sweep a huge offense because they’re so lucky a rich, beautiful, albeit cheating woman looked their way. Talk about kicking someone when they’re already down. I’m sorry this happened, OP. You don’t deserve this and beauty/wealth aren’t a ticket to cheat or treat others badly. Be kind to yourself (setting boundaries like you already have with your sister is a great start). Edit: NTA - it’s early.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** ‘Anne’(36) and my(37m) sister(36) are childhood best friends. We got together in high school, after she got my sister’s approval to ask me out. Recently, Anne admitted that she slept with someone else, saying that keeping the guilt bottled up felt terrible and that it was eating away inside her. She asked if I could forgive her so I told her that I need some time to think about it. Then I went to our bedroom and closed the door. I sat on my bed and thought about what I want to do next. Half an hour later, my sister called me. She told me that Anne told her everything that’s happened. Then she suggested that I just forgive Anne and forget about it. Just stay with her and pretend nothing’s ever happened. She also said that I would never be able to find a beautiful and rich woman again(Anne is a dentist and makes a lot more money than I do). So I hung up and ignored all the messages she sent after that. The next day, I talked to my friend about this. He said I shouldn’t ignore my sister like that since she was only trying to help me and didn’t mean any harm. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole for ignoring her like that since she meant well and only wanted to help me. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. It may even be best if you block her while you work out your feelings, because apparently she thinks she's part of your marriage and gets a vote.
NTA. And if you cheated on Anne, your sister's approach would probably be quite different. Edit: it is amazing how the mods lock basically any post in this sub where a woman gets criticized.
NTA. Your whole relationship is weird. Your sister is too involved and has been from the get go. That's a mess. Make your own choice.
NTA and 100% sounds like your sister already knew about the cheating don't trust anything they say until you've verified it yourself
NTA. You know your sister knew about her affair, right? You were betrayed twice: first by your wife, then by your sister. Confront your sister. BTW, your friend is too *naive* or knew, too.
NTA. This has nothing to do with your sister and she should stay out of it. Your sister is just trying to keep her bestie in the family. It's your decision what happens with your marriage and only yours
NTA-Your sister loves her friend, not you. No loyalty. This is the first time your wife has confessed, that’s all. Cheaters don’t just do it once and stop. This is a litmus test. Are you going to be a doormat? Get a lawyer.
Nta I don't know your sister , however I thought siblings supposed to have your back. Don't forgive your wife , sometimes they say once a cheater always a cheater, however sometimes the cheater don't cheat again. The real questions is if you forgive her how can you be sure she won't cheat again? Cause from what I understand she only confess because of guilt and how can you be sure that she not cheating on you with multiple people. And other question how long was the cheating was going on . Sigh Talk to your sister and if she don't understand I think it's best to distance yourself abit.I think you should ask your sister if she was in your shoes and her husband/ partner cheat on her would she forgive him? If she takes long to answer then you'll get your answer, and if she say yes she will forgive him then something is wrong with her. You should ask you Wife the same question aswell And for your friend drop that person. Cheating is not right no matter what.
NTA Your sister wants you to forget about it because she doesn't want to lose her friend and her brother. Your sister is thinking only about herself here. She doesn't care about what you want or how you feel. Treat your wife cheating on you the same as you would treat any other person cheating on you. Only because your wife and your sister are childhood best friends doesn't mean you should take this lighter. And then you have to ask yourself the following: if your wife was able to call your sister that fast and for your sister to convince you to stay with your wife, there could be a real possibility that your sister knew about the affair but didn't tell you. Ask your sister if she knew about it before your wife told you. And finally tell your parents and how your sister reacted.
So your family member chose sides with your cheating wife... You're NTA, but I sure know who is
NTA, and I will bet your sister was aware of the affair.
NTA. A cheater will always cheat. I will tell you how your life is going to be if you forgive her: - her phone rings - you will be questioning in your head who is it. Is it another guy? - messages - Same thing - going out - is she really going out with friends or with another guy? - coming late from work - was she really at work? - running errands - is she really running errands? - etc She might tell you she would give you acces to everything and let to spy on her, but is that how you want to live? She might also hide it better, 2nd phone, your sister that covers for her, etc. You're the only one to know what kind of life you want to live.
NtA From your timeline, your sister 100% knew before your wife told you. There just isn't any way your wife sees you go into the bedroom, and immediately messages your sister saying "Hey I cheated on OP and he is mad, can you tell him to forgive me?" In reality, your sister knew before your wife told you. I'm wondering whether your sister told your wife to come clean to you, and is now trying to mitigate the fallout of that. Whatever you go forward with, best luck. Sorry for the shitty situation.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA you should at least tell her that you need tine to think... though her sidig with your cheating wife so easily and without consequences is very strange. your sister might be involved in the whole Situation!
Sorry, are you saying OP is the AH because he didn’t tell his sister he needs time to think?
OP absolutely does not have to tell her that. He's under no obligation to do anything for either of them.