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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Dszquphsbnt

NTA and this is such a weird hill for your boyfriend to rye on.


l0vely_rand0m

Love the pun


Dszquphsbnt

Maybe he’s just trying to get a rise out of you?


No-Whole-4646

do you really knead the mixer? will the bread rise to the occasion?


Dszquphsbnt

I think that’s the yeast of her problems.


sammotico

don't know why the boyfriend's so crusty about it.


Dszquphsbnt

She needs to show him the dough and not let it hit him on the whey out.


Dszquphsbnt

He’s a gluten for punishment.


evenK648

Maybe your boyfriend is not kneaded


New-Link5725

I would choose my grandma's things over anything new, any given day.  Their I'd a reason vintage items have lasted longer than modern items.  Your bf needs to get off his high horse and choose another holl to die on.  This one isn't it.  Get the mixer and enjoy it, as you remember grandma every time to bake. 


SearchApprehensive35

I don't understand why your boyfriend has a vote on whether you get a free mixer, or even whether you get any mixer he doesn't pay for. But relationship issue aside, he's simply wrong about the KitchenAid. It's still a fantastic brand, but their old stand mixers are workhorses that last FOREVER whereas the newer models have plastic parts inside that are intended to wear down after X number of years and be replaced. It was a valid design decision, I'm not knocking it. But objective fact is that a brand new one will not outlast your grandma's. You will be handing that one down to your grandkids if they have the sense to want it. NTA. Get grandma's mixer if you can and put the saved money into a high yield account toward a house payment or something because it's a big chunk of change that he wants to throw away.


rosezoeybear

I have one I bought about 20 years ago. I hope it is pre plastic parts. NTA, you can’t beat a Kitchenaid!


Big_Box601

My kitchenaid mixer was gotten free from a neighbor, and was \~20 years old when I received it. Works great, not a thing wrong with it. Incredibly baffling that OP's boyfriend is being so pushy about her receiving a sentimental heirloom that has no effect on his life whatsoever.


SearchApprehensive35

The food safe grease inside yours deserves a replacement by now. It's a pretty easy (though messy) DIY if you want. If the grease is left too long without replacement, it eventually breaks down and starts dripping into the bowl.


OkeyDokey654

>I don't understand why your boyfriend has a vote on whether you get a free mixer, or even whether you get any mixer he doesn't pay for. And this is what I would tell him. Actually, I’d probably change it to “I don’t understand why you think you get to say *no* to me inheriting my grandma’s mixer.” No matter how he protests, I’d say exactly that.


YouthNAsia63

You want *your* grandmother’s mixer, that you learned to use with her, when you were very young. You don’t want some random brand spanking new-and *expensive!* mixer, (my god, those things are costly), that has no sentimental attachment to you at all. And you can keep your BF’s grandmother’s machine, too! Nobody is suggesting it be thrown out, but you want *your* grandmother’s. Why is this so hard for him to understand unless he is being intentionally dull or manipulative. NTA and get the mixer *you* want, this is for you, not your BF. You can have an appliance that only you want, that only you use, or even want to use, it’s OK! And if you ever break up, take it with you.


PingPongProfessor

NTA. I've been making my own bread for more than forty years. Neither of the mixers you have now is up to the task of kneading bread, and grandma's KA **is**. Once you start making bread with that, you'll never go back to kneading by hand, I promise. > And to be clear, I'm not suggesting getting rid of his great grandma's mixer. This is the part that really gets to me: why is he objecting to you getting a top-of-the-line mixer *for free*? That just doesn't make any sense. > He then brought up his great grandmother's mixer again, claiming that if I wanted an older mixer, we already had one. This doesn't make any sense either. Doesn't he realize that they're not the same? Finally, if he's not the one making the bread, why does he think he has **any** say in what tools **you** use to make it? Think about that for a while. I know people on Reddit often are all too quick to scream "Red flag! Red flag!" but ... this is at least a yellow flag. Is he frequently this insistent on having his own way?


shuckyducked

NTA- Just get your grandma's mixer and make him deal with it. He clearly doesn't understand the longevity of those and it probably won't make sense to him until you're actually using it. Those vintage Kitchenaid mixers are built to last. Our's is 18 years and counting. Tell him it's like cars. Older cars have better parts than newer ones.


l0vely_rand0m

Im pretty sure my grandma's is of a similar age. I very vaguely remember her showing it off when she first got it, and it was soon followed by a bread maker. For about three years after, all my PB&Js were made of homemade bread, and all our after school snacks were homemade as well.


forgeris

In my family it is easy - who will be the primary user decides whether to buy a new appliance or use already existing one. I assume you will be using mixer and your bf can go and hit rocks instead, NTA. Why some people want to impose their will on stuff that doesn't concern them in a slightest, oh, because they "know everything better".


Ok_Homework8692

NTA those Kitchen Aids are workhorses  Mine is over 40 years old, used at least once a week ( during holidays multiple times a day) and works as perfectly as the day I got it. Tell your bf you should use your grandmother's and you'll replace it when it dies ( spoiler alert - they NEVER die). As far as the attachments it doesn't matter how old the model is - they never change it. Just go get it, I would


joe-h2o

NTA. Pick up the mixer, put down the BF. Bake some delicious bread.


NoSalamander7749

Ask him one question: does his great-grandma's mixer have a dough hook? don't explain what it is. Just ask him. If he can't answer then go get your grandma's if grandpa is ok with it. NTA.


Catcon95

NTA. Your boyfriend shouldn't even have a vote on a free mixer. Its a really weird hill for him to die on because its not about space. And it is in no way a better "purchase" to buy a new one when this one is free. Even if it eventually breaks down and you need to replace it. It was free so what does it matter, you just save yourself from buying a new one a little longer


Own_Lack_4526

NTA, as long as your grandfather is ok with passing it on. If your grandmother used it a lot, it might mean the world to him that her granddaughter now wants to use it as well. As for your BF, what the heck does it matter to him if you get another mixer? Why do you have to justify this to him? Particularly if it's a gift from family and isn't subtracting from your household budget, why does it matter? This seems unreasonably controlling to me. The only way you would be TA is if your grandfather doesn't want to part with it for sentimental reasons, and you tried to force the issue with him.


l0vely_rand0m

He was going to toss it, as he isn't a baker. My mom and aunt convinced him to keep it for me for when I could use it.


marvel_nut

Here's what you need to do: 1. take your granny's stand mixer and get the dough kneading attachment. 2. Toss BF's great grandma's creaky ol' Sunbeam. 3. Allow BF to buy you a shiny new KitchenAid hand mixer in a cool colour to go with the Big Boy (trust me, you need both!). Voilà - compromise! NTA.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (20f) newest hyperfixation has been baking, more specifically, baking bread. However, the past few times i've made it, i've been using my hands, and anyone who has made bread knows that the dough ends up inconsistent, weirdly shaped, and it's never kneaded enough, making it sort of dense and lacking flavor (because science, in case you don't know). So, I expressed interest in a Kitchenaid mixer. The first issue arose when my boyfriend (21m) mentioned we have a mixer. And technically, we have two. One is a hand mixer, which isn't really used for making doughs. Especially heavy ones like bread dough, as it could overheat the mixer, break the attachments, etc. The other mixer is very old, and basically a glorified hand mixer we got from his mom that she got from her grandma (his great grandma) from the 70's (i think, based on the model, Sunbeam, but regardless, VERY old). It's a cool vintage knick-knack, but I'd never want to use it for cooking. I tried explaining this to him, but he wasn't understanding my concerns, so I let it go, and asked my Mom if my grandma's old mixer was in the market for pickup. Here's where I may be the asshole: My grandma died in 2018, for context, yes it's been 6 years, but there's still some of her things in my grandpa's house, as she died when I was 14, so a lot of things I didn't have a use for until years later, i.e. her car, jewelry, and now her kitchenaid mixer. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year, and we recently got a shelf that the mixer would definitely have a home on. I suggested getting the mixer and he declined, saying since we had the space, we should get a new, bigger model. The models have not changed since my grandma bought hers, it would be free, it has the attachments i would need, and even if a few were lost or broken, it would only be a $50-$100 attachment instead of a $400-$500 mixer, sans attachments. I told him it would be a waste of money and space, but he insisted that it would be a better purchase since it would for sure last longer. He then brought up his great grandmother's mixer again, claiming that if I wanted an older mixer, we already had one. I tried explaining again, but he didn't want to hear it. If I didn't want to use his great grandma's mixer; why should I get my grandma's mixer? I understand his attachment to the mixer, but he's never used it. I don't think it's been used since his great grandmother. And the one i would be getting is the mixer I learned to bake with. And to be clear, I'm not suggesting getting rid of his great grandma's mixer. Am I the Asshole for wanting my grandmother's kitchenaid mixer, and not using the one we have? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

NTA. Your BF is choosing to be ignorant and not listening to you. Ignore him. Get the mixer.


Latter-Shower-9888

NTA - he can use his grandmothers mixer and you can yours. I think it’s amazing you want to keep hers.


l0vely_rand0m

My grandma and i were very close, and i grew up baking my first pies, cookies, and cakes in that mixer. It holds sentimental value, as well as practicality. I always joked my grandma wanted me to have her stuff because the other big "hand me down" i got from her was her car- a 2001 Toyota Camry. Fully convinced you could replace the oil for Nutella and the fuel for Apple juice, and the thing would still run.


Maximum-Swan-1009

If your grandmother's mixer still works, why not grab it. You probably have a local FB site where you can ask for non-working machines for parts. I have done this a couple of times and also given my own un-needed accessories for free. Surely your BF is smart enough to realize that you need the right machine for the job. Some mixers are only adequate for mixing soft stuff, like eggs. For dough you need a heavy duty machine, and even an old Kitchen Aid could do the job. Those old machines were work horses made to last. Was he thinking of buying you a new one as a gift? Insist that you would like to try your Grandmother's machine first. If it doesn't work, he can buy you a new one, but his great grandmother's machine simply does not do what you want it to do.


l0vely_rand0m

He would never spend that much money on a gift for me, that kind of money is reserved for "us presents" where applicable.


Maximum-Swan-1009

If he isn't into spending that kind of money on you, he should be delighted if you can get exactly what you want for nothing.


l0vely_rand0m

Right!?


Maximum-Swan-1009

Seriously, do post Marketplace for parts. Someone recently gifted me a part that would have cost me $238 plus tax. He didn't want to give a machine that wasn't working to Goodwill so was happy that someone could use the part.


No-Locksmith-8590

Nta go get the dam mixer. No one is saying he can't have his mixer, too. You can use your preferred mixer, and he can use his preferred mixer.


Signal_Boat7276

It depends on the context: Do you have space? Do you have the money? Will you use it often? (I'm looking at the "new hyper fixation" part)


l0vely_rand0m

We have space for either, and he wants to use a credit card to buy the new one, and pay it off over time. I don't know that I'd use it "often" as i tend to burn out sometimes, and my ideas will flip flop. I just don't want to spend all that money, especially when the alternative is of sentimental value.


glyneth

I asked for a KitchenAid mixer for Christmas one year. Both my mom and in in-laws got me mixers, neither were KitchenAid. I returned both, and with some Christmas money I had gotten, I bought me a new KitchenAid. It’s still used by me for dough mixing or cookie or cake baking. I’ve thought about who to pass this onto as I don’t have any kids of my own. NTA, get your granny’s mixer.


angelicism

> [the new model] would be a better purchase since it would for sure last longer He's wrong. The older KitchenAids are going to last until the heat death of the universe and the new ones are relatively crap in comparison. You can find this out by doing basically any googling about them. Newer is *not* necessarily better. NTA and you'd be crazy not to take advantage of having that older KitchenAid available.


BeeYehWoo

Id like you to know that the old Kitchenaid mixers were basically rebadged Hobart countertop mixers. Tough, commercial quality gear built for the rigors of restaurant kitchens. With real metal gears, repairable and could power through bread doughs. Check out what you have at grandma's house... The new kitchenaid mixers pale in comparison with plastic internals and are not the same workhorses.


Open-Incident-3601

NTA. Vintage KitchenAid mixers can handle dough. I have killed Sunbeams trying anything heavier than batter.


l0vely_rand0m

Vintage is even a stretch for this kitchenaid, late 2000s, early 2010s at best.


R4eth

NTA. Omfg. Tell your bf to look up the price of those "bigger models" with the attachments. You could easily drop $1k. I think the pasta attachment we have with the cutters goes for like $200 on its own. Thankfully, our kitchenaid and attachments were all wedding gifts and Xmas gifts. XD girl, go get your grandma's FREE mixer with the attachments and live your bread life!


lenajlch

Lol... Nta Just take your grandmas mixer if it's allowed. Your bf doesn't get.to dictate this..you know that, right?


Sensitive_Progress26

We have had a kitchenaid mixer for 35 years. Cannot justify replacing it.


seitancauliflower

NTA. My family got my grandmother’s toaster oven from the 60s when she passed. I took it with me when I moved out. It was perfect, worked like a charm. When I moved back home my dad tossed it and then tossed the new toaster oven he’d gotten to replace it because it never worked great. I was so mad because despite being old, my grandmother’s toaster oven still worked amazingly well.


omeomi24

Bread made by hand does NOT always end up inconsistent...you aren't doing it right as yet. Why not practice your bread making and by the time you're turning out perfect loaves you'll have decided on a mixer. I'm with you in that the older Kitchenaids go on and on and on...would rather have one of those than a new, flashy one. I LOVE homemade bread - makes the whole house smell good!


Embarrassed333

Anyone here have an idea when they made the “kitchenaid ultra’s” I got my hands on one but have no idea?


eulb_yltnasaelp

Yta for dissing hand kneaded bread. You just aren't doing it long enough or right if it is inconsistent in its texture.


l0vely_rand0m

I also have a muscular disorder... so it could be partially on me. But my doughs have never been very texturally consistent and have been very hard to knead


PingPongProfessor

Not everyone has the upper body strength - or the patience! - for that.


Sunnyok85

First of all hand kneaded bread can be just as good as machine bread.  Never had issues like you are talking about. Kneed it properly and longer.  Second of all, and this is more for him, not all machines are made equal. You’re talking about a ford pinto vs a mustang. They might both get the job done when you’re talking a to b driving (cookies and basic things), but it will be a lot harder on the one racing and such (breads and thicker harder doughs).  I would suggest using his grandmas sometimes if you’re not already. And just let him know that while his grandmas might be able to do it, it was not meant to do it with any regularity. And you would much rather be able to use it and keep it than burn it out and toss it.  Or have him make a loaf with you using the machine and show him how it struggles and why you don’t want to use it. It’s not that you don’t appreciate it, it’s the fact that it’s not built for the job. 


l0vely_rand0m

I don't want to attempt using his great grandmothers machine, because unlike my grandma's kitchenaid, it's got a double attachment style head- meaning it's got two whisk attachments that are meant for cake batter, creaming butter and sugar, and beating the piss out of egg whites to make meringues. If i tried to use it to make bread- possibly even cookie dough, i fear it will overheat or the attachments might break.


Sunnyok85

Have you explained that to him. Or show him that your hand mixer is more powerful than that machine and the hand mixer can’t do it. It’s one of those things, unless you are educated or know the field, you don’t get why 1 things can’t do it when another can. It’s like how certain tools, while technically do the same thing, operate slightly differently so in certain cases one is better than another. You just see two tools that look similar to each other. 


l0vely_rand0m

I would give him the "right tool, right place" thing, but anyone with a shred of common sense could see kitchenaid > sunbeam. He can't even use the "i dont know proper tools" excuse, because he's an auto mechanic. And while that's not a perfect comparison to baking, he knows what the purpose of a whisk is vs a dough hook.


Sunnyok85

So he’s watched you make bread recently and knows how thick the dough is?  A lot of people don’t realize the consistency of things. So if he’s stupid enough to believe the sunbeam is adequate for the job, he obviously doesn’t get it and needs a hands on example. And to be asked during this demonstration if he really believes it will work. Or does he want you to kill the sunbeam?   The fact that you guys are having the argument means he doesn’t understand.  The fact that you’re arguing he’s smart enough to understand because it’s common sense, makes me question how you’ve explained it to him. Common sense isn’t common anymore. And there is a difference between book smart and street smart. Sounds to me like in the kitchen he’s book smart- all you need is a stand mixer, you’ve got the sunbeam!  Vs street smart, ya while that might be a stand mixer, that’s not going to last more than 5 minutes when being put through the paces.   Either that or he’s playing stupid because he’s wanting to get you a new one so that he doesn’t have to come up with a better gift for you come your birthday. 


PingPongProfessor

> First of all hand kneaded bread can be just as good as machine bread. Of course it can. That's how humans made bread for thousands of years. But that's not the point. The point is that OP struggles with that, and your solution is to tell her to do it anyway? Why? When there's a machine available to do the drudgery, why not use it? Hand-washed clothing can be just as clean as machine washed clothing, too -- but I bet you don't do your laundry by hand.


Sunnyok85

Actually I hand washed a few things last week because they were too large for my machine. And about a month before that as we needed to replace the pump. When I don’t have what I need, I definitely do it by hand.  I hand sewed a repair on my kids clothes too instead of pulling out the machine.   Would you like me to keep going?   I told her she probably isn’t kneading long enough because that’s probably the problem. Or she’s only kneading one part as she’s not putting muscle into it or rotating it to make sure she gets everything not just the top or middle. A machine is easier. But it doesn’t sound like she has one that is capable right now. So giving a tip.  And I love how you focused on one aspect of my comment when the rest of it was how she can explain or show him so he understands. Obviously words aren’t going to sink into his head as he’s hung up on his side of the families machine.