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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> am i an asshole for seeking police assistance to take her back, and am i a the asshole for considering the cat is mine since i took care of it for a year
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Kinda think YTA here. Immediately making this about money is a little weird. If you wanted the car because you cared about the cat you would have went to the police the moment the ex broke into your home and stole the cat. The fact that you tried to negotiate the cat for money FIRST feels a little telling.
Then why not go to the police immediately? They broke into your place and stole something. Why did you try and get money before just getting the car back through legal force? Why make it about money and not just get the cat back?
becasue i don't know if i have an grounds legally, and want to make the right decision first
i didnt try get money first i asked for the cat back for the entire day and she refused, so the enxt is at-east pay for all the expenses and then some for baby sitting it , and if she still refuses then im asking if i have the right to contact the police, thats why im here
Look up property laws for abandoned property in your state. Pets are typically considered property and if you abandon your property for some amount of time (look it up for where you are) it is no longer considered yours. If this is the case for her/the cat then go to the police for breaking and entering and stealing your cat.
No the next step should have been legal action. In another comment you compared this cat to a child, if that were true, you would care enough to go to the police. Very receipts prove you the owner of your really spent thousands on vet visits. It's kinda apparent you only care about money here. I kinda hope you never get that money, that girl doesn't deserve to have to deal with you.
i still dont know if i have legal grounds thats why im asking on here, im not going to go thorugh all that effort if i have no legal gorund, so the second best option for me is to make my moeny back and more for the baby sitting for a year
See calling it babysitting makes me think you didn't care for the cat. Sorry dude, general consensus in the comments is that YTA. Might want to consider that you're in the wrong here.
well if its legally not my cat, hten yes i was jsut babysitting it, based on that logic and i atleast deserve compensation for all the moeny and time to take car of it
Truth is that you never had to pay a dime for that cat. You could have taken it to a shelter the moment it was left behind but you didn't. Nobody asked you to take care of it. She didn't ask that of you. That was a choice you made, and you should accept that you aren't owed that money back since NOBODY asked you to spend it.
And even though you might have legal grounds to get it back, I hope you don't. You sound inconsiderate and greedy and refuse to admit you're in the wrong despite multiple people here telling you YTA. I hope that girl keeps her cat and never has to deal with you again.
i made that choice cause i thought it was my cat since she abondened the cat and ingored us for a year, what are you yapping about
if she asked me to take care of it for a year until she got her shit together that would be a different story
youre wrong im not the asshole
she never asked me to foster her cat, she just ditched and fell off the face of the earth
i want money if its not my cat then it shouldnt also be my vet bills but hers, since its not my cat
if you ditch your cat, ignore them dont message and disappear , that cat is not yours. youre living in clown world if your think you can ditch things at peoples places, ignore them , and expect to pick it up again like nothing happened
i thought she disappeared for good, and happily adopted the cat, so if its not my cat, then all those bulls are not mine too
Look, you can be mad but it doesn't change anything. Legally it's not your cat sincw you didnt go through the process of adoption and it's a coin toss on whether or not a judge would award you money for the vet bills since you weren't asked to take the cat to the vet or care for them. Why are you even here if you're not going to accept you are wrong?
so you think its okay to ditch a cat at someones place, ignore them for a year have no agreement never tell them when youre coming back and expect the cat to be yours and also free of charge
I think that adds to u/Artblock_Insomniac 's point.
If I've bonded with an animal, taken care of the animal, actually consider it "mine," the money would be the absolute last thing on my mind. I'd be desperate to get the animal back. Period. The end. The money would never come up. I'd just want my animal.
YTA for going for the money.
you have to explain why, you cant just say YTA , thats the whole point of the sub is to explain why someone is or is not an asshole in certain situations
YTA - it’s not your cat. You come across way more concerned about money.
You’re also the asshole because you’re annoying. Dude…read the room. Your attitude sucks
okay so if i stole your cat you took care of an bonded over for a year you would be chill about it? that says more about you and how much you actually care about the cat
well if i dont have legal ownership over the cat i atleast deserve my moeny back and then some for taking care of the cat for a year
its only been one day and i message her all day for ehr back and then she argued no its my cat, so i said i m either taking legal action or atleast give me my money back and then some becasue im not even sure if i have legal ownership of the cat thats why i haven't even contacted the cops yet, but again its only been one day
if you were to pay a day care center you have to pay for a day rate, you cant expect epple to jsut take care of your cat for free when you abandoned them
i cnat go to a cat day care, ditch my cat for a year, and then come back and expect to get it free of charge
"if you were to pay a day care center you have to pay for a day rate, you cant expect epple to jsut take care of your cat for free when you abandoned them"
She did not expect you to do it, you provided it willingly and without being asked.
It is HER cat.
And YOUR bills, because you WILLINGLY paid thse bills without being asked to do it and without any agreement of being paid back.
Such is life - the only one you can fault is yourself. YOU did this to yourself.
Next time, if you want a cat get a cat instead of fostering someone else's cat.
you cant abonden a car in someones driveway forcing them to pay for your car expenses for a year, and come back and claim it as yours, so why is it differnt for a cat?
>
As far as I’m concerned, this cat is mine now.....
Am I the asshole for demanding compensation or the return of the cat?
That cat is either yours and was stolen, or it's their's and you were caring for it. This is not Schrödinger's Cat. It can't be both.
You're trying to have it both ways, hence YTA.
thats why im here, to find out if i have legal grounds to take her back, if i dont then atleast i deseirve my moeny back and then some for baby sitting the cat t for year, how does that make me an asshole
yes if people say im the asshole becasue i have no legal rights to the cat then ill accpet that and then atleast ask for my moeny back and then some for babysitting the cat for a year
YTA for multiple reasons.
1. You asked for money.
2. You arrived at your number by making up a daily rate.
3. You compared a cat to a child.
4. You didn't change your locks.
5. You are actually considering legal action.
WTF? YTA, no doubt.
i spent 6k of my own moeny on vet visits, shots, food, toys etc, i also deserve some money also for taking care of the cat every day for year? dont i not?
thats how much it would cost to pay a day care to take care of a cat
the cat is an outside cat, she stole her when she was outside at night
why am i an asshole for using legal actions to get back a cat i took care of for a year?
Bull shit! You didn't pay $6k. That would be an outlay of $500 per month. But let's review. First you said $10-12k, then $8k. Now it is $6k.
Do you deserve compensation? No. It might be nice if it is offered, but demanding it is ridiculous.
Outside cat? That is even less care for an outside cat.
I have already stated why YTA.
Dental Procedures cost 1500, she had asurgery for 2000, and she had a handful of Specialist Consultations for 300- 500 each
the 2k is for the dy to day daycare of the cat, much cheaper than paying a cat day care for a year thats for sure
again you clearly dont know what youre talking about
so i can ditch my cat to a day care, expect them to take care of it for a eyar, for free, and then take it back when i feel like it, that makes sense to you?
YTA, YTA, YTA. You are making up more and more stuff trying to gain sympathy. First it was about a daily rate, now the cat has a bionic leg that requires Oscar and Dr. Wells to tune the bionics during consultations.
You are NOT a daycare. You are NOT a professional. The cat doesn't have a bionic leg or teeth.
ahhaa okay sure. and you know that how? she left the cat in a pretty bad state, and i cared for the cat, i atleast deserve my money back
again most daycare's aren't specialists, they are usually volunteers, or old ladies or young college students, that arent doing anything more special than any attentive cat owner does, by professional i mean paying a company to do it for you, im sure if you paid actual cat expects it would cost 3 x that
Just because you fell for a scammer vet who apparently charged you way too much for basic regular vet visits in a year doesn’t mean she has to reimburse you for you volunteering to do all that.
YTA just cause I don’t know were you came out with 12k then 8k. A pet doesn’t cost to board that much even in premium cities. Where they need to make a profit. My old and heavily medicated dog do not cost that much. And he is on special diet. Sound you just made the amount just to not make her able to pay you back.
Sure she should have made better arrangement, but clearly she want on a good place.
Legal action? Sure if you saved all expenses… police? Is the cat chipped? Anybody in those thousands of dollar spent 100$ to chip the cat and register it?
* **Daily Rate**: $15 to $25
* **Monthly Cost**: $450 to $750 (assuming 30 days in a month)
* **Annual Cost**: $6,400 to $9,000
so you think its okay to abandon a cat for a year and be able to jsut pick it up free of charge? why is that fair?
now change cat to child, and see if you think the same
Friends usually don'T get paid for pet- AND babysitting.
And: You are NOT a business. So "the usual pricing" does not apply to you when you take care of a friend's pet.
Daily rate for what? Food and water? NO! Cats don't cost that much.
Also, WTF didn't you change the locks after the person left?
YTA for making up an amount and trying to make it sound reasonable. YTA for asking for money. YTA for comparing a cat to a child. YTA all around.
if you were to pay a professional to take care of the cat that is the day rate
the cat is an outside cat
so she isnt the asshole for ditching a cat spending no money to take care of it and expect me to spend 6k on vet visits, food, toys, and time to take care ofs cleanliness and health for free?
saying you cant compare a cat to a child is a weak argument
You aren't a professional. You aren't running a pet sitting business with business costs associated. I hope you understand that.
Add in that it is an outdoor cat, and that reduces your care requirements even more.
Comparing a cat to a child is a horrible comparison, and it is weak. However, you tried to compare the two. Get real.
Take the YTA and move on.
EDIT: I still call BS on your amounts. You are completely fabricating them trying to tilt opinions in your favor by saying "Poor me... I spent all of this money..."
again, most of them arnet trained professionals, theyre just volunteers or doing basic things any owner of a cat does, by professional i meant simply to pay a company that takes care of your cat
no, she spent 90% of her time inside, by outside i meant she likes to go outside
why not, cna i not love nad bond with my cat equally? who made you the measurer of love
agian, i disagree
she abandoned her cat, and ignored us. not her cat anymore, if she asked em to take care of her cat and i said yes that would be a different story, youre worng
yes cause i thought it was my cat, since she ditched it without asking me to take car of it, if she said can you take care of it while i get my shit together and we agreed on it then that would be fair, but you cant abondon a cat all of a sudden and ignore calls and messages and still except the cat to be yours
i disagree, not the asshole
"and expect me to spend 6k on vet visits, food, toys, and time to take care ofs cleanliness and health for free?" .. she did not expect you - you volunteered.
So from 12k now it’s 6,500k. The price of a business, that need profit and pay taxes. Again in all this great care and vets. Did you chip the cat and register it? And yes even parents that abandon children usually they get them back after rehabilitation period. You can’t pick up children form the street and ‘oh now that I pay food and water for them I get to keep them’
i think its fair that they atleast pay them money for taking care of your child even though they abandoning them for a year and ignoring them for a yeat
if she asked me to take care of her cat while she got her shit together then you would have a point
so i disagree
YTA
YOu willingly and without asking for anything in return took care of someone else's cat. That's YOUR choice.
Any money you wanted would have needed to be discussed up front.
YOur friend is fine, she just reclaimed her pet. Nothing wrong with that. And: NO stealing involved, after all, it IS her cat.
If you had wanted this to be anything else than free fostering, you would have needed to discuss this BEFORE taking care of HER cat.
So YOu got to have the company of the cat for one year, and she got a safe place for her cat. That'S ehat fostering is about. YOu CHOSE to do this, you had the option to discuss different scenarios, YOU decided not to do that.
she left her cat, i begged her for months to take her, and she ignored my messages. she fell off the face of the earth, there was no agreement, i eneded up taking care of the cat waiting for her to come back but evenutally grew attached to the cat and started taking care of it
yo cant abonden your cat for a year free of charge like nothing happened, i am not the asshole
I think I want to lean towards NTA because she abandoned the cat for a year so why shouldn't it belong to you now, especially if you were taking care of it. But on a side note, why come to this sub reddit for judgement then tell everyone they're wrong?
And I agree that you're NTA, but if you think they're wrong and misinterpreting things over a situation you already have the answer to, then why ask? You already know you didn't really do anything wrong(at least that's how it seems), so maybe just let it go. You took care of the cat for a year, it's yours now. Your ex-flatmate shouldn't have taken it back but you already knew that too. If there really are laws for abandonment of an animal, then I don't see why there's a question of whether or not you should pursue legal action or if you're wrong for wanting to keep the cat
YTA
Greedy much?
It's delulu to think you can demand $8K for a cat that doesn't belong to you. If you didn't want to take care of it for her while she got her life together then you should have told her that right from the start and insisted she have someone else take care of the animal.
You don't get to claim dibs now that she's ready to care for the cat again herself.
paying for vet bills, food, which all cost around $6000 over the year. Dental procedures cost $1500, she had surgery for $2000, and a handful of specialist consultations cost $300-500 each.
and the 2000 extra would be for day cairng the cat for a year, thats reasonable price
so you think its okay to ditch a cat, ignore messages and calls for year, dont make any agreements, dont tell them where you are when youre coming back, dont help out financially, and then jsut come back out of the blue and claim it back free of charge
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Hey everyone, I need your judgment on this situation I'm in. We had a previous flatmate who owned a cat for three years. She started struggling with money and got heavily into drugs (a lot of LSD and shrooms), which led to her losing her job. Eventually, she moved back in with her parents but abandoned her cat with us.
I moved into her room after she left and began taking care of the cat myself. It’s been a year now, and I’ve grown very attached to her. I’ve been the one feeding her, cleaning up after her, taking her to the vet, and basically being her new owner.
Out of the blue, my ex-flatmate messaged me saying she’s in a better place now and wants her cat back. She’s demanding the cat, but I don’t want to give her away anymore.
As far as I’m concerned, this cat is mine now.
You can’t abandon a pet for a year and then just decide to take her back when it suits you, especially considering the financial and emotional investment I’ve made.
If she had to pay someone to take care of the cat, it would have cost her $12k professionally, and I’ve spent thousands on food and vet visits.
I told her if she wants the cat back, she should at least compensate me $ 8k for the expenses and care. She refused and instead threatened to steal the cat.
Last night, she did just that—she took the cat. I’m furious and have been asking her to either return the cat or pay me the $8k. Am I the asshole for demanding compensation or the return of the cat? Should I let it go, or do I have grounds to seek police help and get her back?
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NTA, there is something wrong with reddit.
If the friend that abandoned the cat came on here and was like “I abandoned my cat for a year and made my friend take care of it, and now my ex-roommate won’t give it back. AITI?” You guys would totally say “YTA, if you wanted the cat then you shouldn’t have abandoned it for a year.”
Sometimes it feels like you guys just want to shit on people.
yeah idk what is wrong with this subreddit these days, i did everything right, and didn't do anything malicious or evil yet they consider me the asshole
ESH
Obviously the friend is wrong for everything—they abandoned the cat and then popped back in without any care for the situation. Thats bad, and that sucks terribly, and they are an irresponsible cat owner.
However, you are also an irresponsible cat owner. There is no reason a cat should be an outside cat in general due to their environmental impact the dangers for cats outside. This is well documented and would have absolutely come up in any research you would have done on the cat. Regardless of that, why are you letting the cat out when someone has literally threatened to steal the cat? You also don’t have any legal grounds because you didn’t take any steps to get the cat under your name (if you did then that’s an important detail to have omitted). You could have gotten him microchipped for yourself which would have given you grounds to get the cat back. This should have been done anyways since it’s also an outside cat. There are also routes including local shelters that allow you to legally get the cat adopted by you. This is a process which you absolutely would have been able to pass as it usually involved a short waiting period before you get official papers. This would have allowed you to claim theft and get the cat back. This is also extremely easily accessible information especially considering you were already going to the vet. You didn’t do enough research about the cat and you also just didn’t entertain the possibility that your friend would come back in the picture which was also incredibly short sighted. All of this stuff isn’t even getting into the weird obsession with money in this situation. You’re right that the ethical thing would be to pay you but let’s be so real, there was no agreement or proof any ways so you can’t demand payment or the cat back.
You don’t have the moral high ground here like you think you do.
NTA Pets are considered property in the eyes of the law, she abandoned it for a year. You moved in and took ownership of an abandoned pet. You can go to small claims to get him back, as you have proof in vet bills of that ownership and the lease from when you moved in was the time you took ownership of the abandoned pet. You won't be successful in getting money back for babysitting, as that wasn't agreed upon before.
NTA at all. You have bonded with the cat. It's in the cat's interest. I'm assuming that the money argument you make is secondary, and one meant primarily to dissuade them
yep the money is jsut a secondary thought
if i dont have legal grounds and people say that ehre, and i learn elsewhere that i have no legal grounds to take the cat back then i cant take legal action, so therefore atleast i deserve my money back and then soime for baby sitting the cat daily for a year
NTA- sounds she abandoned the cannot without communication. To clarify did she ask you to take care of the cat for a while?
Do you have proof that she stole the cat? Do you have proof that she threatened to steal the cat?
Make a police report and then get all your receipt’s with proof that you have been financially been taking care of the car for the last year.
NTA at all. Not sure if the police would be able to help but you absolutely deserve that cat. She abandoned the cat for a year with no thought for its wellbeing and then suddenly wants it back out of the blue. You have put in the time, money and love for the cat, it’s absolutely yours. If they want a cat again, they can go adopt a new one but this one is yours.
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Kinda think YTA here. Immediately making this about money is a little weird. If you wanted the car because you cared about the cat you would have went to the police the moment the ex broke into your home and stole the cat. The fact that you tried to negotiate the cat for money FIRST feels a little telling.
i spend thousands of dollars, you cant just expect to take the cat back free of charge
Then why not go to the police immediately? They broke into your place and stole something. Why did you try and get money before just getting the car back through legal force? Why make it about money and not just get the cat back?
Like you could have just gotten the cat back if that's what mattered to you.
They did not steal anything, they reclaimed their pet.
becasue i don't know if i have an grounds legally, and want to make the right decision first i didnt try get money first i asked for the cat back for the entire day and she refused, so the enxt is at-east pay for all the expenses and then some for baby sitting it , and if she still refuses then im asking if i have the right to contact the police, thats why im here
Look up property laws for abandoned property in your state. Pets are typically considered property and if you abandon your property for some amount of time (look it up for where you are) it is no longer considered yours. If this is the case for her/the cat then go to the police for breaking and entering and stealing your cat.
IT is not abandonment when you get someone to look after it - as it was the case here. Everything else will be difficult to prove.
I don’t think she got her to look after it, she moved out and left the cat behind.
And OP stepped up and tool care of someone else's cat.
No the next step should have been legal action. In another comment you compared this cat to a child, if that were true, you would care enough to go to the police. Very receipts prove you the owner of your really spent thousands on vet visits. It's kinda apparent you only care about money here. I kinda hope you never get that money, that girl doesn't deserve to have to deal with you.
i still dont know if i have legal grounds thats why im asking on here, im not going to go thorugh all that effort if i have no legal gorund, so the second best option for me is to make my moeny back and more for the baby sitting for a year
See calling it babysitting makes me think you didn't care for the cat. Sorry dude, general consensus in the comments is that YTA. Might want to consider that you're in the wrong here.
well if its legally not my cat, hten yes i was jsut babysitting it, based on that logic and i atleast deserve compensation for all the moeny and time to take car of it
Truth is that you never had to pay a dime for that cat. You could have taken it to a shelter the moment it was left behind but you didn't. Nobody asked you to take care of it. She didn't ask that of you. That was a choice you made, and you should accept that you aren't owed that money back since NOBODY asked you to spend it. And even though you might have legal grounds to get it back, I hope you don't. You sound inconsiderate and greedy and refuse to admit you're in the wrong despite multiple people here telling you YTA. I hope that girl keeps her cat and never has to deal with you again.
i made that choice cause i thought it was my cat since she abondened the cat and ingored us for a year, what are you yapping about if she asked me to take care of it for a year until she got her shit together that would be a different story youre wrong im not the asshole
YOu deserve all the compensation you agreed on up front. No more, no less.
there was no agreement, she jsut abandoned the cat and stopped responding.
OF COURSE They can. THat' what fostering pers is about. IF you had wanted money, you would ahve needed to discuss that up front.
she never asked me to foster her cat, she just ditched and fell off the face of the earth i want money if its not my cat then it shouldnt also be my vet bills but hers, since its not my cat
You weren't forced to take her cat to the vet lol
so im the asshole for taking care of a cat i thought was mine? an dloving a cat? sounds like youre the asshole here
Why would you think the cat was yours? Is someone leaving a cap behind does not automatically make you the owner of the cat
if you ditch your cat, ignore them dont message and disappear , that cat is not yours. youre living in clown world if your think you can ditch things at peoples places, ignore them , and expect to pick it up again like nothing happened i thought she disappeared for good, and happily adopted the cat, so if its not my cat, then all those bulls are not mine too
Look, you can be mad but it doesn't change anything. Legally it's not your cat sincw you didnt go through the process of adoption and it's a coin toss on whether or not a judge would award you money for the vet bills since you weren't asked to take the cat to the vet or care for them. Why are you even here if you're not going to accept you are wrong?
so you think its okay to ditch a cat at someones place, ignore them for a year have no agreement never tell them when youre coming back and expect the cat to be yours and also free of charge
I think that adds to u/Artblock_Insomniac 's point. If I've bonded with an animal, taken care of the animal, actually consider it "mine," the money would be the absolute last thing on my mind. I'd be desperate to get the animal back. Period. The end. The money would never come up. I'd just want my animal. YTA for going for the money.
Lmfao you'll never see that money
not really answering my post but go off
Sure YTA
you clearly don know how this sub works
Yes I do. I get a vote like everyone else. Asshole.
you have to explain why, you cant just say YTA , thats the whole point of the sub is to explain why someone is or is not an asshole in certain situations
No I don't.
okay, well thanks for your useless comment then
You're most welcome.
[удалено]
YTA - it’s not your cat. You come across way more concerned about money. You’re also the asshole because you’re annoying. Dude…read the room. Your attitude sucks
okay so if i stole your cat you took care of an bonded over for a year you would be chill about it? that says more about you and how much you actually care about the cat well if i dont have legal ownership over the cat i atleast deserve my moeny back and then some for taking care of the cat for a year
Who says you deserve money? It sucks you no longer have the cat, but you didn’t really fight to keep it. Take the L and move on.
its only been one day and i message her all day for ehr back and then she argued no its my cat, so i said i m either taking legal action or atleast give me my money back and then some becasue im not even sure if i have legal ownership of the cat thats why i haven't even contacted the cops yet, but again its only been one day if you were to pay a day care center you have to pay for a day rate, you cant expect epple to jsut take care of your cat for free when you abandoned them i cnat go to a cat day care, ditch my cat for a year, and then come back and expect to get it free of charge
"if you were to pay a day care center you have to pay for a day rate, you cant expect epple to jsut take care of your cat for free when you abandoned them" She did not expect you to do it, you provided it willingly and without being asked.
yes becasue i thought it was my cat, since its her cat, then its also not my bills since its not my cat
It is HER cat. And YOUR bills, because you WILLINGLY paid thse bills without being asked to do it and without any agreement of being paid back. Such is life - the only one you can fault is yourself. YOU did this to yourself. Next time, if you want a cat get a cat instead of fostering someone else's cat.
She did not steal YOUR cat, she reclaimed HER cat.
you cant abonden a car in someones driveway forcing them to pay for your car expenses for a year, and come back and claim it as yours, so why is it differnt for a cat?
But its her cat. Yes she left it with you for a year but legally its *her property*
> As far as I’m concerned, this cat is mine now..... Am I the asshole for demanding compensation or the return of the cat? That cat is either yours and was stolen, or it's their's and you were caring for it. This is not Schrödinger's Cat. It can't be both. You're trying to have it both ways, hence YTA.
thats why im here, to find out if i have legal grounds to take her back, if i dont then atleast i deseirve my moeny back and then some for baby sitting the cat t for year, how does that make me an asshole
AITA isn't an advice sub. It's a sub that judges whether actions you take, or intend to take, make you TA.
yes if people say im the asshole becasue i have no legal rights to the cat then ill accpet that and then atleast ask for my moeny back and then some for babysitting the cat for a year
YTA for multiple reasons. 1. You asked for money. 2. You arrived at your number by making up a daily rate. 3. You compared a cat to a child. 4. You didn't change your locks. 5. You are actually considering legal action. WTF? YTA, no doubt.
i spent 6k of my own moeny on vet visits, shots, food, toys etc, i also deserve some money also for taking care of the cat every day for year? dont i not? thats how much it would cost to pay a day care to take care of a cat the cat is an outside cat, she stole her when she was outside at night why am i an asshole for using legal actions to get back a cat i took care of for a year?
Bull shit! You didn't pay $6k. That would be an outlay of $500 per month. But let's review. First you said $10-12k, then $8k. Now it is $6k. Do you deserve compensation? No. It might be nice if it is offered, but demanding it is ridiculous. Outside cat? That is even less care for an outside cat. I have already stated why YTA.
Dental Procedures cost 1500, she had asurgery for 2000, and she had a handful of Specialist Consultations for 300- 500 each the 2k is for the dy to day daycare of the cat, much cheaper than paying a cat day care for a year thats for sure again you clearly dont know what youre talking about so i can ditch my cat to a day care, expect them to take care of it for a eyar, for free, and then take it back when i feel like it, that makes sense to you?
YTA, YTA, YTA. You are making up more and more stuff trying to gain sympathy. First it was about a daily rate, now the cat has a bionic leg that requires Oscar and Dr. Wells to tune the bionics during consultations. You are NOT a daycare. You are NOT a professional. The cat doesn't have a bionic leg or teeth.
ahhaa okay sure. and you know that how? she left the cat in a pretty bad state, and i cared for the cat, i atleast deserve my money back again most daycare's aren't specialists, they are usually volunteers, or old ladies or young college students, that arent doing anything more special than any attentive cat owner does, by professional i mean paying a company to do it for you, im sure if you paid actual cat expects it would cost 3 x that
Just because you fell for a scammer vet who apparently charged you way too much for basic regular vet visits in a year doesn’t mean she has to reimburse you for you volunteering to do all that.
YTA just cause I don’t know were you came out with 12k then 8k. A pet doesn’t cost to board that much even in premium cities. Where they need to make a profit. My old and heavily medicated dog do not cost that much. And he is on special diet. Sound you just made the amount just to not make her able to pay you back. Sure she should have made better arrangement, but clearly she want on a good place. Legal action? Sure if you saved all expenses… police? Is the cat chipped? Anybody in those thousands of dollar spent 100$ to chip the cat and register it?
* **Daily Rate**: $15 to $25 * **Monthly Cost**: $450 to $750 (assuming 30 days in a month) * **Annual Cost**: $6,400 to $9,000 so you think its okay to abandon a cat for a year and be able to jsut pick it up free of charge? why is that fair? now change cat to child, and see if you think the same
Friends usually don'T get paid for pet- AND babysitting. And: You are NOT a business. So "the usual pricing" does not apply to you when you take care of a friend's pet.
yes friends also don't abandonm cats and ignore you for a year your point would make sense if she asked me to take care of the cat for her
Daily rate for what? Food and water? NO! Cats don't cost that much. Also, WTF didn't you change the locks after the person left? YTA for making up an amount and trying to make it sound reasonable. YTA for asking for money. YTA for comparing a cat to a child. YTA all around.
if you were to pay a professional to take care of the cat that is the day rate the cat is an outside cat so she isnt the asshole for ditching a cat spending no money to take care of it and expect me to spend 6k on vet visits, food, toys, and time to take care ofs cleanliness and health for free? saying you cant compare a cat to a child is a weak argument
You aren't a professional. You aren't running a pet sitting business with business costs associated. I hope you understand that. Add in that it is an outdoor cat, and that reduces your care requirements even more. Comparing a cat to a child is a horrible comparison, and it is weak. However, you tried to compare the two. Get real. Take the YTA and move on. EDIT: I still call BS on your amounts. You are completely fabricating them trying to tilt opinions in your favor by saying "Poor me... I spent all of this money..."
again, most of them arnet trained professionals, theyre just volunteers or doing basic things any owner of a cat does, by professional i meant simply to pay a company that takes care of your cat no, she spent 90% of her time inside, by outside i meant she likes to go outside why not, cna i not love nad bond with my cat equally? who made you the measurer of love agian, i disagree
"why not, cna i not love nad bond with my cat equally? " You COULD have done that - but instead, you chose to love and bond with HER cat.
she abandoned her cat, and ignored us. not her cat anymore, if she asked em to take care of her cat and i said yes that would be a different story, youre worng
And YOU decided to take care of HER cat for HER. YOUR choice.
yes cause i thought it was my cat, since she ditched it without asking me to take car of it, if she said can you take care of it while i get my shit together and we agreed on it then that would be fair, but you cant abondon a cat all of a sudden and ignore calls and messages and still except the cat to be yours i disagree, not the asshole
"and expect me to spend 6k on vet visits, food, toys, and time to take care ofs cleanliness and health for free?" .. she did not expect you - you volunteered.
yes i did it willingly because i thought it was my cat, if its not my cat, then its also not my bills that i had to pay, but hers, since its her cat
So from 12k now it’s 6,500k. The price of a business, that need profit and pay taxes. Again in all this great care and vets. Did you chip the cat and register it? And yes even parents that abandon children usually they get them back after rehabilitation period. You can’t pick up children form the street and ‘oh now that I pay food and water for them I get to keep them’
i think its fair that they atleast pay them money for taking care of your child even though they abandoning them for a year and ignoring them for a yeat if she asked me to take care of her cat while she got her shit together then you would have a point so i disagree
You just calculated something but in your Op you claimed 12k. Thats 3k more than your expensive range here. So you are just making shit up
YTA YOu willingly and without asking for anything in return took care of someone else's cat. That's YOUR choice. Any money you wanted would have needed to be discussed up front. YOur friend is fine, she just reclaimed her pet. Nothing wrong with that. And: NO stealing involved, after all, it IS her cat. If you had wanted this to be anything else than free fostering, you would have needed to discuss this BEFORE taking care of HER cat. So YOu got to have the company of the cat for one year, and she got a safe place for her cat. That'S ehat fostering is about. YOu CHOSE to do this, you had the option to discuss different scenarios, YOU decided not to do that.
she left her cat, i begged her for months to take her, and she ignored my messages. she fell off the face of the earth, there was no agreement, i eneded up taking care of the cat waiting for her to come back but evenutally grew attached to the cat and started taking care of it yo cant abonden your cat for a year free of charge like nothing happened, i am not the asshole
I think I want to lean towards NTA because she abandoned the cat for a year so why shouldn't it belong to you now, especially if you were taking care of it. But on a side note, why come to this sub reddit for judgement then tell everyone they're wrong?
becasue they misinterpreted and mischaracterized things
And I agree that you're NTA, but if you think they're wrong and misinterpreting things over a situation you already have the answer to, then why ask? You already know you didn't really do anything wrong(at least that's how it seems), so maybe just let it go. You took care of the cat for a year, it's yours now. Your ex-flatmate shouldn't have taken it back but you already knew that too. If there really are laws for abandonment of an animal, then I don't see why there's a question of whether or not you should pursue legal action or if you're wrong for wanting to keep the cat
YTA Greedy much? It's delulu to think you can demand $8K for a cat that doesn't belong to you. If you didn't want to take care of it for her while she got her life together then you should have told her that right from the start and insisted she have someone else take care of the animal. You don't get to claim dibs now that she's ready to care for the cat again herself.
paying for vet bills, food, which all cost around $6000 over the year. Dental procedures cost $1500, she had surgery for $2000, and a handful of specialist consultations cost $300-500 each. and the 2000 extra would be for day cairng the cat for a year, thats reasonable price so you think its okay to ditch a cat, ignore messages and calls for year, dont make any agreements, dont tell them where you are when youre coming back, dont help out financially, and then jsut come back out of the blue and claim it back free of charge
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey everyone, I need your judgment on this situation I'm in. We had a previous flatmate who owned a cat for three years. She started struggling with money and got heavily into drugs (a lot of LSD and shrooms), which led to her losing her job. Eventually, she moved back in with her parents but abandoned her cat with us. I moved into her room after she left and began taking care of the cat myself. It’s been a year now, and I’ve grown very attached to her. I’ve been the one feeding her, cleaning up after her, taking her to the vet, and basically being her new owner. Out of the blue, my ex-flatmate messaged me saying she’s in a better place now and wants her cat back. She’s demanding the cat, but I don’t want to give her away anymore. As far as I’m concerned, this cat is mine now. You can’t abandon a pet for a year and then just decide to take her back when it suits you, especially considering the financial and emotional investment I’ve made. If she had to pay someone to take care of the cat, it would have cost her $12k professionally, and I’ve spent thousands on food and vet visits. I told her if she wants the cat back, she should at least compensate me $ 8k for the expenses and care. She refused and instead threatened to steal the cat. Last night, she did just that—she took the cat. I’m furious and have been asking her to either return the cat or pay me the $8k. Am I the asshole for demanding compensation or the return of the cat? Should I let it go, or do I have grounds to seek police help and get her back? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, there is something wrong with reddit. If the friend that abandoned the cat came on here and was like “I abandoned my cat for a year and made my friend take care of it, and now my ex-roommate won’t give it back. AITI?” You guys would totally say “YTA, if you wanted the cat then you shouldn’t have abandoned it for a year.” Sometimes it feels like you guys just want to shit on people.
yeah idk what is wrong with this subreddit these days, i did everything right, and didn't do anything malicious or evil yet they consider me the asshole
You suck big time dude. YTA
ESH Obviously the friend is wrong for everything—they abandoned the cat and then popped back in without any care for the situation. Thats bad, and that sucks terribly, and they are an irresponsible cat owner. However, you are also an irresponsible cat owner. There is no reason a cat should be an outside cat in general due to their environmental impact the dangers for cats outside. This is well documented and would have absolutely come up in any research you would have done on the cat. Regardless of that, why are you letting the cat out when someone has literally threatened to steal the cat? You also don’t have any legal grounds because you didn’t take any steps to get the cat under your name (if you did then that’s an important detail to have omitted). You could have gotten him microchipped for yourself which would have given you grounds to get the cat back. This should have been done anyways since it’s also an outside cat. There are also routes including local shelters that allow you to legally get the cat adopted by you. This is a process which you absolutely would have been able to pass as it usually involved a short waiting period before you get official papers. This would have allowed you to claim theft and get the cat back. This is also extremely easily accessible information especially considering you were already going to the vet. You didn’t do enough research about the cat and you also just didn’t entertain the possibility that your friend would come back in the picture which was also incredibly short sighted. All of this stuff isn’t even getting into the weird obsession with money in this situation. You’re right that the ethical thing would be to pay you but let’s be so real, there was no agreement or proof any ways so you can’t demand payment or the cat back. You don’t have the moral high ground here like you think you do.
I actually think NTA. She owes you either 8k or cat
NTA Pets are considered property in the eyes of the law, she abandoned it for a year. You moved in and took ownership of an abandoned pet. You can go to small claims to get him back, as you have proof in vet bills of that ownership and the lease from when you moved in was the time you took ownership of the abandoned pet. You won't be successful in getting money back for babysitting, as that wasn't agreed upon before.
The fact she used the words "steal the cat back" acknowledges her abandonment and that she recognizes she has no rights to her old pet.
NTA at all. You have bonded with the cat. It's in the cat's interest. I'm assuming that the money argument you make is secondary, and one meant primarily to dissuade them
yep the money is jsut a secondary thought if i dont have legal grounds and people say that ehre, and i learn elsewhere that i have no legal grounds to take the cat back then i cant take legal action, so therefore atleast i deserve my money back and then soime for baby sitting the cat daily for a year
NTA- sounds she abandoned the cannot without communication. To clarify did she ask you to take care of the cat for a while? Do you have proof that she stole the cat? Do you have proof that she threatened to steal the cat? Make a police report and then get all your receipt’s with proof that you have been financially been taking care of the car for the last year.
NTA at all. Not sure if the police would be able to help but you absolutely deserve that cat. She abandoned the cat for a year with no thought for its wellbeing and then suddenly wants it back out of the blue. You have put in the time, money and love for the cat, it’s absolutely yours. If they want a cat again, they can go adopt a new one but this one is yours.