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RMaua

NTA A t-shirt with his country's colours is something he can buy for his child. As an aside, if you have access to "Bluey" the kid's show, you might want to watch the episode called "The Decider" and see if if my help your kid understand how mum and dad can wear different colours for a sportsball game.


Substantial_Spot_85

Thanks, yes, we LOVE Bluey and I actually used that episode when I was explaining the Euro cup to her. She was happy to "be like Chucky", but I told her that we won't make her choose, like Lucky did- she can cheer for both, one of them or neither- it's up to her.  I know she'll probably feel more motivation to cheer for England since everyone around us does, though! But all I can say to that is: Oh, biscuits! ;) 


RMaua

I'm really pleased that you understood the reference :D


definitelynotjava

There was a viral video recently where someone showed up to the India Pakistan world cup match wearing a custom shirt with half of each country's jersey. I thought that was kinda amazing, especially considering how bitter the rivalry gets sometimes. Eventually she can do something like that. But yes your ex is being ridiculous


precious1of3

Mama Kelce wears a jersey that's half Philadelphia Eagles and half Kansas City Chiefs because her sons play for different teams. They met in the Superbowl and she rooted for both. I know it's different but is it really? :)


blue_collar_queen

I’m a cowboys fan, but a huge Mama Kelce fan!! Shes the best.


racecar_yaya

Mama Kelce rootin' for the offense!!


Substantial_Spot_85

That sounds really fun! I may do that for the world cup! 


DgShwgrl

In Australia, a pair of brothers play AFL for different teams and their Mum made the news because she wore two scarves - one for each team. She legit cheered for both teams and took turns waving the scarves when her sons played against each other. It was pretty cute!


Motor-Class-8686

Someone presented my cousin & her husband with one of those jerseys for a baby on their wedding Day. They're from neighbouring counties in Ireland but the rivalry runs deep!


Stock-Ferret-6692

My mam is from cork. My stepdad is from Waterford. My sister said she’d burn a half and half jersey if she was given one 🤣


Common_Lavishness153

NTA :) I am curious though, if you can share, what is your home country?🤗


Substantial_Spot_85

Poland :) so... 2 more games and the jerseys will most likely land in the back of the closet lol 


Common_Lavishness153

Gooooo Poland! Rooting for you! From Portugal with love eheh


Fit_Ring_7193

Poland? I was expecting some strange, controversial country. Everyone loves Poland. I don't see what the issue is.


fruitynutcase

Well ex is English so ofc he'd take it seriously. (and unfortunately, to my understanding Polish hasn't been that popular in UK for..long time) Lewandowski is awesome, otherwise I don't really care for Poland. Since my country didn't make it, it's always Holland for me. I have so much Oranje merch. (as long as France doesn't win, I am good)


doesntevengohere12

You know the UK is full of Polish people right? Half of my son's school are from the Polish back grounds.


Fit_Ring_7193

Attitudes towards Poland have improved in Britain, especially in the last couple of years. As for football, I hope England does well, but they're an incredibly frustrating team to support, as they tend to choke in games they should easily win.


fruitynutcase

Oh it's good to hear, I think it was its worst during and before Brexit? I was so sad England losing final last time. Same for women's world cup even England did win women's euro. But yeah, they have the players, always had, to win tournaments and somehow they just.. don't. (Tho I feel England is now more team than it was Beckham/Rooney era. lol our broadcaster showed the famous England vs Portugal shootout from 20 yrs ago before England's first game this year)


doesntevengohere12

I think attitudes to everyone can be taken as being bad if you only see the daily mail type people who bleat about people taking jobs from British people, but there is a reason why there are 691,000 polish people in the UK. Honestly those type of people are the minority not the majority of Brits. I hear it all the time as well as I'm not white and if you believed everything you read then I am an outcast in my the country I was born in (I'm not 😂 I'm good and proud to be British) When it comes to sport though, I think everyone is patriotic. My husband is Irish and my son isn't even allowed to support England in the rugby 😂😂.


fruitynutcase

Yeah usually AHs are just very loud so it makes it seem they are bigger group than they actually are. And it's like that all over the world tbh. The people "they take our jobs!" are usually slobs that do nothing else than collect benefits and sit on their arse whole day holding a pint and shouting idiotic stuff. And ye, sports people support their home. Even when moving to another country. That country comes usually 2nd I visited Ireland few years back and learnt so much about history so I understand your husband XD


CrazyCatLadyNL

Wishing the Polish team good luck, but I'm happy your team lost yesterday, I'm Dutch 😉


Ok_Incident7605

*laughs in Slovene*


Siiw

Polish sports fans are awesome!! I'm Norwegian and would buy a Polish supporter a beer.


ThePolishSensation

YASSS!!! Heartbreaker of a match yesterday


Outrageous-Second792

Amazing how Bluey can be the solution to so many disputes!


HummusAndTabbouleh

Bluey is so wise. 


wigglerworm

Totally random but this reminded me of some years ago, I believe it was at the olympics but maybe not. For the woman’s hockey final, the coach of the Swedish team was married to the coach of the Canadian team. So they made their kid a full onesie that was split down the middle with Sweden on one side and Canada on the other. Super cute, and nice to see in the spirit of comradery.


jrm1102

NTA - sports can run deep for some. But this is ridiculous. If Dad wants his daughter wearing his countries team colors he can buy them.


Negative_Reading_600

But…but… he can’t 😭 SHE has full custody 🤣 lame!!!!


glom4ever

Weird, I have bought multiple shirts for my nephew and have never even babysat the kid. This must be another difference between America and Europe.


Icyblue_Dragon

No it’s the difference between being an asshole or not.


not-a-creative-id

I don’t think it’s a difference between countries/cultures… it’s just the father being an ass


Mattikarp1

People's sarcasm detectors seem to be in full swing today


glom4ever

Yeah, it has made my day funnier. I usually do add "/s".


Mattikarp1

Sometimes /s is needed. I personally didn't think this would be one of those times lol


Crazyandiloveit

Nah... many people will buy clothes for kids they don't have custody for in Europe. (Nibblings, Grandchildren, any Newborn of your friends in the UK, etc.)  This guy is simply an AH.


Calm-Thought-8658

I've bought clothes for plenty of kids I have no custody of. What's this guy even on about?


jcgreen_72

Assholery


Vandergaard

Exactly. I’ve bought clothes for nieces, nephews, friends of kids etc. Dad needs to grow the fuck up and contribute something to his child other than bitterness.


Arya_Flint

Well put!


Loud_Ad_4515

I bought the toddler neighbor a shirt just because.


Loud_Ad_4515

Right? Poor dad can't even buy his kid a shirt. With excuses like that, no wonder he's an ex without full custody.


noteworthybalance

\*without any custody


janiestiredshoes

Also, sorry, but, as someone who lives in England, England fans are the worst.


kaosimian

As an English person I agree. A great deal of our lot are absolute tools


RoyallyOakie

NTA...I'm starting to see why you're not with him anymore. He needs to stop complaining and do something positive. 


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HansGruberLove

EXACTLY! I'm 50% English/Irish and we support both in sporting competitions. My other half has Luxembourg roots so our kids support them as well! It really isn't a big deal, oh and 100% OP NTA


PaPaJ0tc

Or my Scottish uncle supported anyone who wasn't England even though his children identify as just English.   To be fair, most Scots will support anyone playing England, to the point that the Irish sounding gambling site has produced an excellent advert based on that.


Peony-Pony

NTA A T-shirt, your ex/co-parent of a five year old child got their knickers in a twist about T-shirt?! >I was asked if I got her the English t-shirt too and truthfully I said no. He said I was being unfair and an asshole for making her "pick sides". I told him that he's more than welcome to get her a t-shirt too and I'll be happy to get her to wear it even when she's with me. He told me it's my job to get her clothes because I have her full time. It's your "job", how ridiculously petty can one person be? I am in the US, tell him he can pick one up for £7 at Primark, you're too busy raising the child your share full time.


Special_Abroad8882

the fact a USian can also point out its £7 in primark is wild (no offence) that this overgrown dingleberry can't even pick his own kid up a tshirt 😭😭 nah sorry I didn't get her a birthday present because you gave birth to her so I mean 🤷‍♀️ Wanker. OP is NTA


doesntevengohere12

They are selling them in Poundland as well 😂


Slayerofdrums

NTA. What a nice gift it would be to get a shirt from your dad as a present, with his country's colors. He's just trying to be difficult. If he wants her to wear the shirt, he can buy it for her...jeez.


EconomyScene8086

NTA. Tell him he can buy it if he wants. P S. Making a child cheer for England is very cruel.


StrangeVioletRed

Unless it's the Lionesses...


Dance_Problem333

NTA. As a football fan I would not expect my ex partner to get my daughter both teams shirts for my sake. I am a Man City fan and if my ex got my daughter a Man United shirt just to mess with me even if she was not a fan of Man United I would take it as good fun. You got matching shirts with your daughter for an experience your ex was not apart of. And the whole picking sides thing, I love football but common man it’s just a game. It’s not that serious. Buy her a shirt of your team if it means so much to you.


leftmysoulthere74

If you have her full time it doesn’t matter how many England shirts and related merch you or he buy for her, she will naturally gravitate towards your heritage. If he wants anything more than a month-long performative father-daughter “look at us in matching merch” situation, he needs to be more involved, and I don’t just mean buying her a football shirt. NTA Oh and as an aside, did he take any interest in watching the womens World Cup with her last year? Or the womens Euros the year before?


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imaginaryfixing

You're NTA. It's natural to want to share your heritage with your child, especially during events like Euro 2024. Your ex's reaction seems more about control than the t-shirt itself. You're being inclusive by showing her both sides and letting her decide. Keep fostering that open-mindedness!


eve_darling

NTA - I'm Irish, my husband is English and we live in England. Our children tend to support whichever team is doing better (or whichever parent they prefer at that moment in time! :-D ), so they have Ireland and England t-shirts. THey ahve more Irish kit as I tend to buy their clothes, but if my husband wants them specifically to have English kit he needs to go and get it. (I admit if I'm passing something in the supermarket, I often pick it up for them, for instance they have England shirts from Lidl, but I do not go out of my way.).


Parasamgate

Ah yes this falls under the heading of: you have her full time, but I get to tell you how to spend your money on her. NTA.


Either_Quit9487

NTA you’re actually a hero for NOT laughing in his face over something so ridiculous


Mr-Melancholic3323

NTA, he's more than welcome to buy a t-shirt himself...


intothedepthsofhell

After than performance against Serbia I wouldn't want my kids ridiculed for wearing an England shirt. NTA.


quarterlifecrisis95_

NTA. My ex wife and myself are from 2 different Latin American countries and futbol is an extremely popular sport. But our son has jerseys from both countries (he is a MASSIVE futbol fan and dreams of being the next CR7😂) and it’s never been a big deal at all.


SuperMommy37

The kid is 5!!!! He can buy a shirt for her! You do you. NTA.


strongmorale

You're definitely NTA. It sounds like you're handling a tricky situation with grace. Kids can rock different shirts without it being a loyalty test. Keep enjoying the games and supporting your team together!


Suonii180

NTA, if he doesn't want to buy it then that's his choice, it doesn't become your responsibility just because you're the full-time parent


Isyourmammaallama

Nta


AudDMurphy

NTA Fun fact, people can wear different t-shirts! You don't have to lock in to a particular color, country, team etc!


GirlDad2023_

If he wants to get her the shirt that's his business. He doesn't even have any custody but wants to tell you how to dress her. NTA.


Similar-Chard9342

NTA, thank god you separated from that idiot


SockMaster9273

NTA If he wasn't her to like his team, he can pick up a shirt for his team. Maybe if he bothered to put in that effort, she would like the team. You actually put in the effort and bought the child the shirt so she is going to like your team more most likely. "it's your job to get her clothing" Essential clothing. Arguable, should be both parents but lets just say for sake of argument, only mom should buy essentials and dad doesn't have to do anything. A sports jersey is not essential clothing. CPS wont beatdown your door because your kid doesn't have a sports team shirt. They might pop buy if your kid doesn't have shoes or any shirts but doesn't have to be a sports shirt. You got your kid a shirt that seems to be more for you than your kid. It's a you gift. He can but her a shirt too.


SewRuby

Well, I see why he's the Ex. He can buy her a shirt, and if he can't afford to, that isn't your problem.


Benevolent27

NTA, he is being a baby. He can, in fact, buy her a T-shirt and it won't end the world.


zerenato76

NTA. Guy's a dunce, though.


UnCertainAge

OMG. No wonder he’s your ex. NTA


RecentRefrigerator22

NTA. He is just being childish and a dick just creating unnecessary drama.


adeelf

NTA. This is 100% his problem. First of all, he shouldn't try to make this a competitive thing that might bleed into "Mom vs Dad." She should be told that she has both cultures as a part of her heritage, so it's perfectly fine for her to support both teams. Secondly, if he wants her to also have his country's shirt/colours, then he is free to buy her one. It's not your job to do that, regardless of you having full custody.


Ok_Adeptness3401

NTA Your job because she’s with you full time? I’m sorry what? It’s his country. You’re proud of yours. And you’re showing your child this. Why must you teach your child HIS heritage? He can buy it. And if it were the other way around, would he have bought your country’s shirt? I doubt it


Interesting-Fail8654

NTA - how is buying a team/country shirt making her pick sides? Let him buy his team/country shirt if it is so important to him.


Breaker_Of_Chains18

He wants them wearing certain things then he buys those certain things otherwise he can fuck off.


soph_lurk_2018

NTA he can buy his daughter a shirt or he can STFU. He’s just looking to complain.


ShineStriking371

NTA. It's a shirt. sheesh.


Procrastination4evr

Obviously NTA. Tell your ex that shops sell to anyone, not just mums


cyn507

Tell him to pound sand. How tf are you solely responsible for providing for a child that is both of yours? Time to remind him that he’s 50% responsible for her care and he needs to pony up and stop being a cheap fuck


CryptographerFirm728

NTA. Tell him that,as you are busy taking care of her full time,you don’t have the time to take care of a grown man.


Perfect-Map-8979

NTA. Why doesn’t he get her the t-shirt if it’s so important?


Strawberry_Kitchen

NTA. For goodness’ sake, it’s a tshirt.


ExtinctFauna

Apparently the custody arrangement prohibits him from buying clothes for his child?


Jacce76

NTA, and just cause she is with you for the majority of the time does not mean that he doesn't need to buy her clothes or other items. He can buy it for her or deal with her not having an England shirt. Also, she could decide to route for a totally different team from either of those 2 options.


Careless-Ability-748

Nta


Bright_Adagio9

NTA- her dad is taking it too personally. If he feels so strongly about it, he can get her a t-shirt with his country. If he still gives you issues, you can use his logic against him. “You said she’s with me 100% of the time and I’m from this country so why would I buy your country’s shirt for her?”


Apprehensive-Pop-201

Can he not buy a shirt?


Greedy-Mechanic-4932

NTA In any way shape or form. Ex is making this an issue where it doesn't need to be.


Adjmom

NTA. There is only one reason for his reaction. He is trying to use small things to control you. He wants power over you. Don't let him.


Only-Cook5177

NTA, he needs to relax


dutchessmandy

NTA, people cheer for multiple sports teams all the time.


-xxEL1SH4xx

NTA. Its not that deep, even as a football fan. I’m rooting for england, because im english, but im also rooting for Nederland because i have dutch family and my great nana moved here from there. You can support or enjoy multiple teams, unfortunately some guys in england are, well rather extreme on the football side and are overall not that nice. Sorry you have to experience that


brainDontKillMyVibe

Ummm what? No, NTA. He sounds like he’s sooking just for the sake of it, such a non issue. Why do people want to start shit over nothing??


OccasionMundane3151

NTA Tell him to fuck off. My parents are different nationalities also, you're not making her "pick sides" you're allowing her to embrace your nationality, he's free to do the same, but apparently he thinks it's not his job. Absolute moron.


FoalKid

NTA - putting her in an England jersey would have made you the asshole


purplestarsinthesky

NTA. He is angry you bought her a shirt but he is too lazy and/or cheap to go and buy her one.


NemiVonFritzenberg

Nta


jengaduk

NTA OP's ex is the epitome of a face palm.


SGUMPerson

NTA - it sounds like he’s just being petty tbh


Feeling-Lie-1282

I buy my kids jerseys for the team I support. They are welcome to support their dad’s teams too but that’s up to him to buy. I’m not spending my money on another team.


Otherwise-Credit-626

NTA. He can't buy his daughter a t shirt because you have full custody is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If it's your job only to buy clothes then it's your choice only as well 🤷‍♀️


amerioca

NTA I see one of the reasons you are not together. He's jackass


8512764EA

Oh give me a break. NTA


nigliazzo5626

NTA I bet he thinks he babysits his own child too. Won’t even buy her a tshirt? That’s pathetic. He’s crazy manipulative and a bad father. No wonder you have full custody.


theora55

He can easily get her his country's tee shirt. He's being foolish.


Patient_Meaning_2751

This guy is a nutterbutter. No wonder he is your ex. How did you keep from laughing your head off?


UraPunkBich

No. Just because you have her full time doesn’t mean the responsibility of making sure she has clothes on her back falls solely on you! He should also be buying her clothes for when he’s with her instead of depending on you to always pack a bag for her. What a freaking idiot, he sounds exhausting and dense af.


FUNCSTAT

NTA. You can probably buy an England shirt at literally every single store in the country. And, like, you live in England. People are going to assume that you are a fan of England even if you aren't wearing the shirt. The shirt from the other country is more unique.


brit953

Tell him that if even he doesn't support his country/team enough to buy his daughter a shirt, why should you, as someone who is not a supporter, be expected to.?


melissa3670

NTA. How cheap is this guy that he won’t buy his own kid a T-shirt because he thinks it’s “your job.” Ridiculous.


bbbriz

NTA. If he wants her to have that shirt, he can buy it. He's being entitled.


brokenhousewife_

He sounds..... english. lol


__Severus__Snape__

I'm half Scottish half English. I was born in Scotland but have lived in England since I was a toddler, but i was surrounded by Scottish family. The last time Scotland were in a major tournament, I was 10, so I've only been cheering England on for the last 26 years. But you can bet your ass I'm cheering Scotland on during this tournament as well as England (we don't talk about that opening game though 😬). You're NTA, dad needs to calm down and stop finding reasons to be mad over trivial things


SirKlock2

Well, it’s clear why he’s your ex.


No-Appointment5651

NTa. If he cares that much he can buy her the shirt himself. It's such a weird thing to get mad it.


your_moms_a_clone

NTA. If he wants her to have a shirt in his team's colors, he should buy it.


MrsBenSolo1977

NTA, he’s too cheap to buy his kid a shirt.


Agreeable-Tie-6484

NTA. so he has little responsibility in raising his own child, but feels entitled to criticize your actions? Nope. Not acceptable.


Mysterious-Wasabi103

NTA as clearly he's the only one making them take sides. Dudes like him are just bored with their lives and need some drama.


Turbulent_Run731

He’s stupid. It’s a shirt. He can get one for her but if he wants her to wear it so bad


MLMLW

NTA. If your ex wants to get her a shirt featuring his country then he's free to do so. His excuse for you being responsible for getting her clothes is lame & ridiculous!! Has he not ever heard of the gift of clothes? He can gift her a tshirt!! 🙄


Savings-Bison-512

NTA since when is it only the mom's job to buy the child clothes? If he wants her to wear one, fricking go get one. No wonder you divorced him.


Meshelle13

NTA. He needs to grow up and buy his child a friggin shirt if it's so important to him.


babyhazuki

NTA - Why is dad even involved in kiddos life if he feel like he shouldn’t be responsible for her. 😐 That’s the most ass-backwards thing I’ve heard in a while. Idk how he’s mad about getting his daughter a t-shirt??


Arya_Flint

NTA But...where is this "you have full custody so I don't have to buy her anything, ever" BS coming from? That needs to either be addressed via his attorney, or by someone else he will 'hear'. Child support is to cover basics, not everything the kid will ever need.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throw away, because I think it's too ridiculous to litter my OG reddit account with. I (31f) and my ex (33m) have a 5 year old daughter. We come from different European countries and live in his country. We didn't end our relationship on good terms, but remain civil for our daughter's sake. As we all know Euro 2024 is in full swing, so I got myself and my kid t-shirts with my country's name and colours. She never wore it when she was with her dad and his side of family, but I did share some photos and that's where he saw the t-shirt. I was asked if I got her the English t-shirt too and truthfully I said no. He said I was being unfair and an asshole for making her "pick sides". I told him that he's more than welcome to get her a t-shirt too and I'll be happy to get her to wear it even when she's with me. He told me it's my job to get her clothes because I have her full time. So... AITA? ETA: I showed my kid both games and I explained to her that it's okay to cheer for both (+ they're unlikely to face each other in the tournament)- even before the tee drama. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Striking_Extreme_250

NTA. Your ex seems to be a little bit too attached to his country if you ask me.


medieaestie

NTA - just an idea, if he agreed, you both could pitch in to custom make a shirt with one country on the front and the other on the back. If she wants to support both teams.


BlackButterfly616

NTA A friend of mine would have bought a white shirt and shirt markers and would colour the shirt with his kid. Your ex should put on adult pants and be a responsible adult.


2baverage

NTA, he has the option of buying her a shirt for his country. If it bothers him that much then it shouldn't matter who usually buys the clothes or who has the kid majority of the time. In my house we are really into sumo wrestling but my husband and I root for different wrestlers during tournaments. It sounds like your ex is just looking for things to get pissy about while doing nothing to fix what they see as a problem.


First_Grapefruit_326

NTA 1. Dad can and should purchase clothes that he wants to see the child wear regardless of whose custody she is in. 2. NTA for purchasing and using a shirt representing the country you and your child are living it. It will help her feel a sense of belonging to the place where she’s being raised and perhaps closeness with friends & neighbors living there


stutter-rap

It's not a shirt representing the country they're all living in (his home country), it's a different country's shirt (her home country). I personally still think that's fine, but just saying. Some people can be weird about someone not visibly supporting the "local" team and I suspect that might be the ex's issue.


C_beside_the_seaside

Are you Scottish? Hahaha I seriously hope so. I'm English and I hate tubthumpers


3kids_nomoney

Nta but the ex definitely is. The audacity, if he keeps on this route his child will gradually. It him off.


Dana07620

NTA The sub won't let me say what I want to say about your ex demanding that you buy the t-shirt. No wonder he's your ex. Surprised you managed to endure him long enough to have a baby with him. NTA


Skarvha

Wait this is a T-shirt about sports? NTA


StAlvis

INFO > As we all know Euro 2024 is in full swing Do we? This is about the currency?


Acinom65

No you are not the A- hole, your daughter has the right to wear whatever shirt she wants whenever she wants. Her father has no right to tell her she can not where a t- shirt that you paid for. If he wants her to wear something different he should pay for it and ask her if she wants to wear it.


balletje2017

Now I am intrigued about the country you support.


usermane22

I thought NTA as soon as I saw he is English 😜🤣


CathrynMcCoy

NTA. He is just jealous. Ignore him.


Humble-Librarian0603

NTA!!!!!!!!!! Dude can spend 15 bucks on a sweater if he is so butthurt about it!!! I have shared custody of my daughter. I have bought her our "Country's" sweaters since the day she was born even when her father and I lived together. I am SUPER competitive. He bought her ones for his country as well. Now that we are separate we each do the same still. Funny thing is she hates sports haha. Either way she knows what her dna is made of and can choose either to root for. Side note: We are both American but root for my nationality when the Euro and World Cups are on. American football is TRAGIC hahaha.


Due_Hurry850

Nta 


Alarming-Owl7068

NTA you wanted to get your daughter a shirt with the country she is from.i am irish but i was born in canada so i where shirts that have the flag and colours of canada im not picking sides though


GapDifficult2439

So weird lol. It’s just a shirt


ToastetteEgg

NTA. I see why you aren’t with her father. He’s immature and unreasonable.


MissJoey78

NTA. You’re the one who buys clothes for her *but* that also means you decide which ones to buy. That means you’ll be deciding based on your style and your preference. If he has a preference -HE needs to buy it. He’s being ridiculous. I’d tell him if he’d prefer, he can buy HIS team’s shirt for her and you’d be okay with do a half and half customized one for her for future games (aka Mama Kelce.)


StashaPeriod

NTA. You bought a shirt. He can buy a shirt too. My husband’s ex sends their kid to us in ‘I love my mom’ tshirts with a bag full of other shirts that all say something similar about how amazing mom is. Ex doesn’t need to pack a bag full of clothes, child has a room here (and yes he pays full child support, triple what he’s supposed to pay so it’s not like she has to buy all the clothes or anything, he pays for everything) but ex packs that bag every time anyway. That’s being T A. After a few times of this passive aggressive nonsense we took his kid to the store, and told her to pick out what she wanted. Ended up with a closet full of princess clothes, a few battle items like foam swords, shields, bow n arrows, and some hiking gear. She’s a battle ready princess everyday she’s here! Even when it’s cold jeans and a shirt under a princess dress.


adventuredream2

NTA. It is a shirt with a country’s name. What, is your daughter never allowed to root for any team as it’s “picking sides” unless she’s old enough to pick out her clothes (and then with how controlling your ex seems over freaking out about a shirt, I have a feeling he’d guilt your daughter if she doesn’t choose his country.


sioigin55

Let me guess… Polish with a British partner? I just don’t get why they pick us as partners when they have this much disdain for Polish people.


throwawaylemondroppo

There are multiple shirts the kid can get, it's just a dang shirt 😔


ZealousidealTell3858

if he wants your kiddo to have something specifically, it is his responsibility to get it.


FlareTheFoxGuy

I think this is the most European thing I have ever read. NTA


Empress-Rae

NTA. But as an aside, I’m a child who grew up in a house divided over baseball. And it is solely because my mom (a White Sox fan) refuses to cook for my dad (a Cubs fan) during the season, that I learned how to cook. My son will learn the same thing during college football season, cause fuck the Aggies.


AllieGirl2007

NTA Let him buy her a shirt with his country on it.


fruitynutcase

NTA Dad can buy shirt for kid himself. Despite you having her full time, doesn't mean dad doesn't have responsibility on his kid. Plenty couples who are from different countries and parents biggest support is their home country without creating a fuss. Since Finland rarely gets in (only time for us were Euros on 2021) I've mostly filled closet with Dutch merch (since I was kid - 1988 never forget) and I also have one England shirt and then oddly way too many Swedish merch (they are our main rivals in everything) but that is rather dangerous to wear because you might get beaten up.


Cautious-Peak5226

NTA! My kids’ father and I have different NFL teams here in the US. Me and my family go all out on gear for our team (to include clothes for the kids), but when his family sends gear for their team I explain “this is daddy’s football team!” And the kids are usually super excited to wear it. Plus, their stepdad has an even DIFFERENT team, and I wear his team hoodies because I am a comfy gorllllll. However, my son is growing to be an only-mommy’s team kid (win)


Major_Chani

Isn’t it nice when you get little reminders like this on WHY you broke up?


arkenteron

NTA, he thinks that it is a job to buy clothes for his kid? He is a terrible father.


skowzben

NTA of course! You live in the “away” team country, you have to do more to get your team over! We live in China, my wife is Chinese and I’m English. Our lad is five years old. He’s got into footy big time over the last few months. Got him a wall chart, printed out all the kits, ranking them. (No sticker book app this year, only a Copa America one). Asked him which kit he wanted. Me obviously thinking the home or the away. And he goes “The Germany one”. His mum starts laughing in the front of the car. Faux outrage from me. “No flipping way I’m getting you a GERMAN shirt lad!!” “Can I ask Uncle Benny?” “Whatever. I’m not buying you one.” My bud here is German. He called him. Started chatting about how the German kits look the best. And how Germany are going to win everything. So yeah, German home and away shirts getting delivered tomorrow. One of the benefits of living here, really good quality fake football shirts, for about £8. So Van Dijk’s Dutch shirt (his favourite player) & Trent’s England home from me. And both German shirts, also from me, but pretending it’s from my mate. To bring it back to OP, it’s not your job to get your kids to cheer another team. In fact, it’s the literal opposite!


Inner-Nothing7779

>He told me it's my job to get her clothes because I have her full time. Sexism and xenophobia it is then. That's what you had a kid with.


Neohaq

NTA


Street-Length9871

NTA - and I can see why it ended.


Famous_Back208

He expects you to buy all her clothes? Not sure how custody sharing and child support works in the UK, but in the US, parents are expected to provide for all of their child’s needs when they are with them, regardless of who has primary custody. You are most definitely NTA. He is responsible for fostering a love of the things and values that are important to him and vice versa. Dude sounds like a real AH.


renasancedad

NTA get her any clothes you want after made a comment like that. And a scarf and hat too!


Arlorosa

Does he pay child support? why can’t he buy a shirt as a gift for his child?? NTA - he can step up as a dad and make a cute moment of sharing his teams colors. Otherwise, your money, your team.


IronLordSamus

NTA - he can buy her a shirt if hes that concerned about it.


EclipseHERO

NTA. If he wants her to have access, that's his responsibility to see to. If he's not going to do it, that's his business but he shouldn't argue with the fact that he's being a whiny baby about it.


itsnotlikewereforkin

Oh for crying out loud, NTA. I'm from Michigan (US State) and we have two universities with a massive rivalry between them -- UofM and MSU. My mom holds multiple degrees from UofM and is a die-hard fan. As such, she dressed me in a ton of UofM gear as a kis. Guess who is an MSU fan? My dad! Guess who never cared? My dad! Your ex is being petty.


Code-Trap

NTA-- wth does your ex have the mindset of a kindergartener??


cakesforever

Nta he is her dad and if he wants her to have something even clothes he should buy them regardless of who has full custody.


Auntie_L

Really? Over a t-shirt? For real? It’s a freakin’ shirt! I can’t believe what I am reading. Was this about a team sport? If so,why would you want her to wear a shirt for a team you don’t support. This was dumb. NTA. Not even close… A. Freakin’. Shirt!


Ok_Remote_1036

NTA. I hope he is a more active father than it sounds like he is. She has a birthday every year, there is Christmas… many chances for him to gift her his team’s gear.


allanyone

NTA I get why he’s your ex, what a jerkoff


Les-Veges-Bebe

NTA your ex is just trying to start a fight. If he wants your kid to rep his country then he can buy her a shirt as well. What a child.


nunatakj120

See in the comments it’s a Polish top we are on about. I could understand if she is running about wearing a Scotland shirt but why does he care about a Polish one? There is zero crossover, let her support both. NTA My GF is Polish and we will be over there next week, I will be watching the Poland game then England and will be happily cheering on both.


Capable_Pay4381

Hope it was a Danish one! (My ex husband was English. He wouldn’t have cared what football shirt I got our son as long as it wasn’t Arsenal 🤣🤣🤣🤣)


Thoughtinspace

NTA it’s a tshirt, get over it


Zealousideal_Sun496

Tell him to STFU. It’s clothes. If he wants to control her dress then he can buy the clothes. Some people really show how petty they are capable of being, and your ex is petty AF.


Bernie_Lovett

I’m Australian and my husband is American and I make my kids pick Australia every time! (We live in the US) Even got an Aussie flag flying from our house. If they gotta have American accents they’re gonna at least show their Aussie side in other ways.


Saint_Riccardo

NTA Your ex is being ridiculous, if he cared so much that she had your countries shirt and not his, he should go and buy it for her himself.


JenDCPDX

NTA. So is he legally banned from buying her clothes? That is a ludicrous argument. You buy your team, he buys his. And even then. It just doesn’t matter. Please don’t give this any time than it’s worth. You said he can buy her a shirt. Ball is in his court. Go on living your life and don’t get sucked into something so ridiculous.


eatingramennow

NTA he needs to have a good kick in the balls, seems like his head is screwed on the wrong way


Delicious-Cut-7911

He's being stupid . How can a 5 yr old pick sides. My husband and son have different nationalities and both cheer for the other side if they happen to get to a final.


beetlebeetle77

Didn’t see it anywhere but guessing the ex is a Brit (insufferable about soccer to the detriment of personal relationships much?). Yeah OP, I have been there too to some degree. Big NTA!