Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I didnt want to pay $400 for being in the passenger seat and spilling a drink during a car crash
2) I want to know if i’m in the wrong for not wanting to pay $400
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
That is ridiculous..they are just trying to get $$$ from you. You had nothing whatsoever to do with the operation of the car. NTAH and don't give them a dime.
Yeah, it might be a different story if OP had put her drink up there and Tana had not. Or if Tana had asked her to get them down so they wouldn't spill. I totally get why a lap full of cold or hot drinks could cause you to crash. But Tana put them up there.
If this was in the US my understanding is that the owner of the car would be responsible for damage to the parked VW but would be able to sue and collect from the driver if the driver didn't voluntarily compensate the owner. In no way shape or form could a passenger be held liable, even if their spilled drink startled the driver. "You startled me!" isn't actionable.
NTA
Tana incurs $1300 for hitting a parked car and they want you to pay $400 because you had a drink with you? And you weren't even behind the wheel? Help clean up the interior, but ...... I don't think so.
Well that’s silly. The only reason you’d be able to write off an unpaid invoice would be if you claimed the original invoice on your taxes to begin with. You’re just telling OP to create more work for herself 😂
I know this is a joke, but OP is a teenager who seems to have no idea how car insurance works, and possibly dubious citizenship? So I don’t want her to get confused. OP, please know this is a joke and don’t do this!
Off-topic but posting here for visibility.
Your mom "lost your citizenship"? Are you sure you're actually a citizen? You need to have a serious conversation with her about this. It sounds like there's a very high chance you're (unknowingly) an illegal immigrant. I understand keeping it a secret from a child but you're now at an age where you really need to know. You need to be very, very careful about getting into any kind of legal trouble or coming under the eyes of the authorities for any reason whatsoever.
I. Could be wrong but I think (hope) she means citizenship paperwork, not her actual citizenship? Not sure how a parent could “lose” citizenship for a kid once established.
My point is it might not be established.
If there's a valid birth certificate than a replacement could just be easily ordered, there's no reason for that to be an ongoing problem. It would only be a problem if there is no birth certificate at all...
It's not unheard of for kids in America to believe they're citizens and find out when they apply for jobs/college they are, in fact, undocumented immigrants with no right to be in the country. It's a very difficult situation and op needs to know if that's the cade here.
Yeah, I would get that shit sorted now. Instead of just brushing it off like it's a minor thing. Maybe she isn't, but the way it's written kind of makes it seems like it is. If she plans on going to college, getting loans, etc, I'd be checking to make sure what I need, and then making sure I have that, so I don't get caught out because paperwork can take a while. Especially if you have to get something from another country.
Sometimes undocumented kids get told that the reason they've never seen their birth certificate, gotten a passport, gotten a driver's license, etc., is because their parents lost their paperwork, when in reality, they never had US citizenship in the first place, because the parent doesn't want the kid to accidentally tell the wrong person about it.
However, if she's been hired by a Starbucks, they probably required her social security card before putting her on payroll, so it's also possible that she's a citizen and just doesn't know the right words for what she's describing.
My friend told me for years that the Immigration office lost her and her dad's paperwork and that's why they weren't citizens yet. IDK if she believed it (she was far more worldly than me at that age) but now as an adult I realize it was a lie and they were both likely undocumented.
Yeah, this is what makes me say writing exercise rather than actual experience -- how is she working *with* a bank account without her citizenship papers? And who calls ids, etc citizenship papers anyway? Starbucks and banks require all your paperwork to work there.
It's possible to open a bank account as an undocumented person. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/undocumented-immigrants-bank-accounts#:\~:text=Can%20I%20open%20a%20bank,consular%20ID%20or%20birth%20certificate.
She’s also 16, I don’t know about you… but at the age I didn’t know how to navigate the legal gov websites and dmvs to do my own docs, specifically because my parents usually had them at the age, except for IDs of course.
There have been instances where parents were undocumented or parents were documented (but complete morons) and did not submit paperwork or provided the child with fake ID and SS but never told them of their status.
Of the top of my head, there was a story of USC (US Citizen) grandparent who took in his grandchild who was undocumented that was not aware of it. Gramps gave the kid fake ID but only told him to never get driver's license. Kid did not listen (because why would he).
Another story of Korean kid that was adopted but moron parents that did not submit his paperwork in US and under Trump, the now adult, was deported to SK without even knowing Korean.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/adoptee-deported-u-s-sue-south-korea-adoption-agency-n961776
OP seems like your average 16 year old teenager, which might be a problem. There were way too many red flags in her post.
But it's such a weird detail to throw in as a writing exercise, since being a 16 year old without their license isn't *that* abnormal. The story could function just the same without it.
She wouldn’t be able to work at Starbucks if she was illegal, they E-verify their employees. She probably just don’t fully understand what’s like “to lose citizenship” truly means. She def has a social security and etc, otherwise no Starbucks employment.
That’s actually not true, especially in California regardless of her citizenship status, she is not the asshole. She is not responsible for this at all. NTA
Trust me I’d know. I don’t have citizenship, you cannot work for a big corporation like that without proper paperwork. I’ve worked in hospitality without it, smaller restaurants where they don’t truly verify it, but in California, before I got my SS, I applied and tried with an ITIN number and they weren’t able to hire me because it came back negative from E-verify. Had to wait for my actual SS and work permit. Some smaller places will turn a “blind eye”, but the big guys will do their homework, too much of liability.
If you have the info to satisfy Starbucks, surely you have the info to get a license. She’s saving up for a car but doesn’t have a license which is strange - is she planning on driving without a license?
I became a citizen, and my children (under 18) got derived citizenship from me. If she was born here, she could order a new birth certificate and voila, problem solved.
If she was not born here, she would need her parents' citizenship paperwork to prove it. If there is no paperwork because they are not citizens, then the child is not either. She might be illegal OR have a valid green card.
In either case, this is something she needs to sort out, but she is not an adult, so her parents must help.
As for hiring someone: me (adult) was always required to give them my valid green card so they can make a copy. My son, on the other hand, was never asked for his as a non-adult. That said, before we became citizens, we were here legally, so all the employer had to do was log in a system and check with our SSNs.
Best of luck OP!!!
Hi! Yes i am a citizen. I had other forms of ID, just not with my face. I moved to Canada when i was 2 and my mom takes a lot of pestering to get things done.. All my parents needed to do was translate my birth certificate. Since they both have their citizenships they just need to prove that they’re my parents. So everything will be sorted for the summer 👍👍
She works at a Starbucks, and most national chains have an auto-process for their HR stuff that would require her social security number/immigration paperwork, though.
I do get what you're saying, and I think OP should talk to her parents and get some clarification ASAP, because you're right, this isn't normal.
Then you’ve fulfilled your responsibilities. You weren’t driving so you shouldn’t pay for any of the damages. Tana should have done a better job driving or not driven a friend’s car
NTA. You're responsible for half of cleaning the interior of Bee's car (either in cleaning it yourself or paying someone) because your drink dirtied her property. You aren't responsible for Tana driving into a parked car because she got distracted by drinks. The damage to Bee's car and the other car are for Bee and Tana (and hopefully insurance) to work out between them.
yes, as soon as we got back to the parking lot i cleaned the spilled drinks with alcohol wipes. I was real mad about it because me and Tana had just vacuumed and cleaned the car before too😔
If anything the driver should be paying OP for a (relatively) inexpensive life lesson that that OP helped her learn! If you’re piloting around a multi-ton hunk of metal you don’t just freak the fuck out any time something unexpected happens. She could have easily killed a kid.
What do you mean you went to the insurance company and turned yourself in? Do you mean the owner of the company filed an insurance claim??? If so then the insurance company pays for the damage. You understand that right?
NTA - you cleaned up the spill so there was no cost for that. It's not your car and your insurance.
They are being AHs for trying to get a break on the repair cost. You weren't party to their arrangement, you were just riding along. So you don't owe them any money.
"You should pay me money because your my friend" doesn't work in rl.
"Yes, we should have been driving with a DL." Honey, you weren't the one driving. Bee and Tana made the arrangements between the two of them. They are financially responsible.
The important lesson here is that 1) Tana shouldn't be driving without a licensed driver accompanying, 2) Bee shouldn't be loaning out her car, 3) your friends are trying to extort you. They aren't being friends, they're just trying to reduce their own financial responsibility at your expense. your owe them nothing
There's a 4th lesson, and it's important as well. Don't ever get in a car with an unlicensed driver, u/Standard_Report9304 !!!!
Aside from that, NTA. You weren't driving. Car shouldn't have moved until the drinks were off the dash and was safe to go. Tana made the choice to put the car in drive prematurely and that's all on her.
This story is complete and total BS. I'm not sure why OP even wrote it.
You can't get hired at Starbucks without papers. Starbucks is absolutely going to be asking for proof of work authorization.
Secondly, no insurance company in the universe is going to pay out the claim if you tell them you willingly allowed an unlicensed driver to operate the vehicle.
It doesn't sound so much like BS to me. but it does sound like a lot of ignorance all around.
OP doesn't sound like she's had a lot of advantages in life.
She just needs reassurance to get rid of the mean girls.
I agree. It sounds more like a kid who is using poor terminology because she has no idea what she is talking about rather than a made up story.
Unfortunately, it's her lack of understanding that may be causing her to omit crucial details we would need to help. But that's the way these things go sometimes.
Yeah I had a “friend” try to pin him accidentally busting a window out on me when we went ding dong ditching at another buddy’s as teenagers. It got to the point that his mom called me and told me she knows I did it so I need to pay for it. I told her he literally got caught red handed so she can fuck off and stopped talking to that dude completely after that. Serious loser shit to turn on your friends over a little money, but hey at least I knew he was a pos and to avoid him.
ESH I’m surprised insurance is covering any of this considering your friend let an unlicensed person drive their vehicle. The damage should be the absolute least of your worries. Your idiot friend could have killed someone.
Do better and grow the fuck up.
Man when I was that age and my parents got me a car, I was NEVER allowed to have anyone but me drive it. They would be furious if they found out I let a friend drive it. Hell, I wasn’t even allowed to drive friends around in my car until I was at least 18.
A lot of states don't allow people under 18 to drive with more than one passenger. In Ohio, they implemented that law when I was getting my license almost 15 years ago. They have variations on this type of law in 47 States and DC.
I'm also shocked that the insurance covered it. I wouldn't be surprised if they dropped Bee and her family after they paid out the damages. I have no doubt that wherever she tries to get insurance next, it will cost her an arm and a leg. If she's able to get it.
I got my license in like 2007 and I wasn't allowed to drive anyone under age 18 until I was 18. I did it anyway but my parents would have killed me if they found out.
I had a twin sister, so I had to loophole and was able to have two passengers in my car. It was kind of nice. I did drive quite often with multiple people, but it was normally to practice or a game, so it wasn't like we were doing anything reckless.
NTA - you were not driving without a lisence, you did not hit another car. An accident could have happened whether there were drinks on the dashboard or not.
If you had been hurt, no indurance to cover the medical bills?
Learn some lessons from this. Don't drive without a lisence. Don't get in a car driven by someone who doesn't have a lisence. Don't drive a car if you're not insured. Don't drive with people who aren't insured.
You need to not only block those two dufuses but contact an injury attorney for the injury to your neck caused by Tana’s hysterical driving and since Bee owns the car she owns insurance. Make sure your attorneys now the driver wasn’t the owner of vehicle. NTA you don’t owe them a cent.
Hey, kid. Safety of the car operation is a sole responsibility of the driver. Driver should have ensured car is fit to go before taking off. This offence together with driving without a valid license is solely on Tana. All kind of incidents may happen - bee flies in the window, murky water covers windshield, driver is blinded by the sun… No matter what it’s on a driver to stop vehicle safely, not nosedive it into obstacles. She’s lucky it was a car not a person.
Your friend Bee is not responsible for this either, it’s on Tana, but she commits a separate offence - lending vehicle to a person without a valid permit. Where I’m from it would cost her same as if she herself was driving without one, so fine, license points, potentially ban and retaking the license exam. But it’s separate, as it wasn’t her that drove in the other car.
If she tries to cover up this transgression I suppose it makes sense for her to subsidise Tana. Although usually insurance will get involved and it will come up anyway and make its way to the police, so not sure what’s the point.
Now you. You have no business with all this shit show whatsoever. While it wasn’t the best of judgement to travel with unlicensed driver, you didn’t lend it to Tana and you didn’t drive in a parked car. Checking that vehicle is safe to operate which it wasn’t with unsecured drinks on the dashboard was also drivers sole responsibility.
So no, you don’t own anything to anyone, NTA. Seeing how they are your friends depending on how important they are to you you may lend a hand by borrowing or gifting them some money but it’s solely up to you and has nothing to do with your responsibility for the accident.
NTA but try to avoid driving with unlicensed drivers in the future.
Unfortunately for Bee, knowingly allowing an unlicensed driver makes them just as much at fault for any accidents or damage caused by the vehicle as the unlicensed driver. It’s a whole different game than lending your car to a licensed driver as you are basically turning the operation of your vehicle over to a legally non-competent and unqualified operator. Bee may as well had driven the car into the parked car herself at that point. Tana may lose her driving privileges for a period of time and lose her permit for driving a vehicle unsupervised and causing an accident. Police might just keep it an insurance matter as it’s all property damage with no outside party injury because they don’t feel like doing the paperwork. Bee is 100% on the hook for the deductible and might be 100% on the hook for the damages if the insurance company decides to not cover that accident. All I know is Bee’s insurance rates are going through the roof for that stunt.
I suppose it depends on jurisdiction. In UK you will be processed as driving without a license yourself but the consequences of the driving will still be solely on the driver, as the direct cause of the damage.
Assuming this is about the damage to the two cars vs the cleaning fee then NTA. The only person who should be paying for damage to the cars is the driver. If there’s an element of cleaning fee then that portion should be split equally between you and the other person in the car.
Which is good. I wouldn’t give them any money if you already cleaned. Even if you didn’t help clean, you can get a car professionally detailed for $150 so $400 is completely ridiculous.
Good lord what's the point of posting here if you won't accept the advice? Throw away your paycheck to crappy people who are obviously conning you if you want to, but you'll continue to go broke funding their lies until you grow a backbone. NTA for the specific question you asked
NTA
It’s extremely suspicious that they’re saying the cost of the deductible has changed from $700 to $1300 - not only is that a high deductible to begin with, but deductibles don’t change after the fact. I have some guesses about what happened.
Theory 1 - Bee’s insurance claim was denied either because Tana was not an insured driver on Bee’s policy or because Tana was driving illegally without a driver’s license. Now Bee is on the hook for the other car’s and her own repairs out of pocket.
Theory 2 - The damages to Bee’s car total out the vehicle. Bee would have to surrender the car to the insurance company and try to find another car with whatever payout she gets, or pay the insurance company the scrap value of the car in order to keep it. Insurance pays for the other car’s repairs, but she has to pay out of pocket for hers.
Theory 3 - The insurance payout for Bee’s car isn’t enough to get another car without adding a significant amount of her own money, and she doesn’t have it. She may be pressuring Tana to help make up the difference, but Tana doesn’t have enough either so they’re hoping to pressure you into chipping in, too.
Whatever the case is, your responsibility in all this is to clean half the spilled drinks. That’s it. Tana was the one responsible for the operation of the vehicle at the time, and Tana is the one who failed to drive safely. Bee was the one who failed to protect her assets by allowing an unlicensed and panic-prone operator to drive her car illegally. I feel sorry for Bee as she’s the one getting screwed, but that’s not in any way your fault. Do not give them ANY money.
NTA
Either they can't afford it or just don't want to pay that much. They know it's not fair to ask that of you, they're just trying to kind of force you to help them out. They could've asked you nicely to help them and accepting your answer if you said no, but they tried to come up with some wild reasoning to make it your "obligation" to pay them hoping you wouldn't be able to say no.
If you gave in now, that'd be a "friendship" filled with them pulling similar stunt to guilt and/or gaslight you into doing things for them that they know aren't fair.
Here's the problem. Your friend's insurance company is either not paying the claim due to it from a unlicensed driver, or she is not claiming the damages to her car with her insurance. The level of ignorance of you and your friends leads me to believe none of you should be ever driving. Most states require learner permit drivers must have a licensed driver over 21 in the car at all times.
So all of you = YTA....
Word of advice. Take the bus please.
Most likely, the other person is going through the insurance, and Bee's insurance is refusing to pay. Since they're borrowing the car, the insurance only may cover part of the damage. It varies from policy to policy. I kind of agree with yta. They should have never taken the car. It's a bit ridiculous in my mind.
NTA but why the hell didn't either of you move the water bottles? That would have been the sensible thing to have done. Just because Bees' bottles were there doesn't mean they couldn't have been moved, I'm assuming they would have been safe to place anywhere.
As a passenger, you would not be financially responsible. It is up to the *driver* to be sure the car is safe to drive. If this is real, don't shell out a single dime.
None of you are over 18, and Tana only has a learner's permit. There are restrictions on when someone with a permit can drive. I'm sure they vary, but where I am driving alone is a huge violation, and so is driving without an adult in the front seat supervising. Either way, it is all but certain Tana was driving illegally.
>I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID.
If this is true, how did you get a job at Starbucks?
>We went to an insurance company and turned ourselves in (we filed a claim lol).
Really? Most claims are filed by phone or online, not in person. The insurance is almost certainly in Bee's parents' name, not hers. They would need to file the claim. If you were honest about who was driving, the insurance *will not pay*! If you lied, it is fraud.
I call bullshit.
My uncle has an insurance company and does not handle claims. He helps people file claims, but only the individuals on the insurance can file. Also, they went to the police station? Why wouldn't you call the police to the scene of the accident?
Nta. You weren't driving and your presence made no difference. The drivers drink still would've fallen had she been alone. You cleaned up the mess. Her not controlling a vehicle isn't on you. I can tell you right now, a drink spilling would not make me hit another vehicle. Your friend had no business driving that car without a license. It's 100% on the driver, you were just along for the ride.
Side note: If an insurance claim was filed then the insurance pays for the damages. If you give anyone money it would be the car owners parents. Whoever pays for the insurance. Do not give your friends anything, ask Bee's parents. Their insurance probably just went up. If they're being extra I would keep them blocked. You were an observer. They're lucky you didn't file a injury claim for whiplash.
INFO - Where are all the adults? Children (yes you are) shouldn’t be dealing with insurance and claims without guidance. Odds are the Bee’s insurance I through her parents/guardians. Correct me if I’m wrong, but a 16 year old can’t have an individual policy. It’s a contract and a 16 year old can’t enter into a legal contract.
OP they are taking you for a ride. You say you don’t know about cars, well you need to research and learn fast. Wise up, learn to say no, and find better friends.
NTA. I am sort of confused as to how you guys didn’t see the drinks right in front of you on the dashboard. But regardless Tana was the driver and the car was in her care. She’s responsible and Bee is the one who decided to lend a person who only has a learners license her car.
ESH. Seriously this is so irresponsible, y’all are lucky you didn’t hurt yourselves or someone else being this level of stupid. so glad I’m not a teenager anymore.
NTA
You weren’t driving the car. The car wasn’t in your control, so it’s not your fault this happened. The idea of you giving them some money because you’re their friend should have come from you IF you wanted to, but it’s not mandatory that they can demand from you. They could have asked you to help with the amount politely and not demanded it. They just want to reduce the load off themselves, so they’re making you pay. They weren’t your friends who asked for the drinks, you just made your drink as well.
Was it your idea to keep the drink there? Was it expected of you to take care of the drinks?
Also, per my knowledge, if a person has a learner’s alone, shouldn’t they be accompanied by a person who has a DL? I’m not sure of the rules, just asking..
NTA honey don’t pay for anything! They’re trying to get over on you! The only person responsible is the driver that is at fault and the owner of that vehicle. You didn’t run into that other car so don’t pay anything
How did she cause $1300 in damages and almost totaled the car she was driving? Did she press her foot on the pedal after getting splashed? If so, she shouldn't be driving.
NTA why was the she driving the car in the first place? She doesn’t have a license, she didn’t have an adult licensed driver in the front seat. She was literally committing a crime and i’m very surprised that insurance is willing to do anything with those circumstances. They just want money out of you, maybe to pay Tana’s fine for driving without a license.
Life lessons will be repeated until learned. Your getting taken advantage of by your”friends” life is gonna suck for you if you never stand up for yourself.
This whole incident, you’re about to find out why these two aren’t your friends.
Who was driving? Tana? Ok, whose car was it? Bee’s? It’s between those two. Those drinks are irrelevant and there is no principle behind you contributing. There’s a deductible, yes, but insurance takes care of the rest. I wouldn’t waste my time with either of them anymore after this. All three of you are hard up for money and now they’re tryna take advantage of a situation that happened and get even more at your expense.
You’re NTA, but you need to find new people to hang out with
If a drink spilling is enough to freak out your friends and cause a car crash. dO NOT get into a car with them..they can't drive and you are all lucky you got out alive and well. It's illegal for either of your friends to be driving minors around.
NTA
Offer to clean your spilled drink. That's more than YOUR share of the responsibility.
The rest is the driver'sr esponsibility, and between her and the owner. YOu were a passenger.
Whoever drives bears responsibility. The driver is like the captain of a ship, responsible for everything that happens with the car and it's passengers. Not your fault she can't drive and hit another car because the drinks have spilled.
I got stung by fucking wasps while driving and only allowed myself to succumb to pain after pulling over safely.
INFO:
You say "we" placed the drinks on the dashboard, was that you in particular or someone else?
If you put them there and as a result during a normal turn the driver was doused with hot coffee, I think you may share some responsibility. It's understandable if a driver isn't fully in control of the vehicle if they get scalded unexpectedly while driving.
If you didn't put it there, then whoever did takes that part of the responsibility.
Also, as I understand it, Bee, the car's owner, wasn't in the car at the time, yet Bee is splitting the costs?
I can understand Bee being upset with that, because she loaned the car to your guys, and it came back wrecked. I wouldn't expect her to let anyone else drive, especially if it all started with Tana taking Bee's car 'for a spin' without her knowledge. Is she really OK with it, or just non-confrontational?
NTA...please DO NOT give them any money. YOU cleaned the mess up from drinks spills, so you don't owe anything now. And plus if you were to pay for someone to come detail the car, it would probably cost no more than $100 to maybe $150. YOU absolutely do not owe anything whatsoever. You don't even have a DL and you were the passenger. Insurance will pay for the cost of damages after the deductible is paid. Tell your friends you're not paying them any money since 1.)You were the passenger. 2.) You don't have a DL. 3.)You already cleaned the interior. 4.)Insurance will fix, that's why she has it lol. And 5.)YOU WERE NOT DRIVING!! Its not your responsibility. Please update us once you talk to your friends. AGAIN, DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY, YOU WEREN'T DRIVING, YOU WERE THE PASSENGER!!
This is messed up in several ways.
First and most important: The owner of the car is responsible for the damages. Always. The owner and the driver should agree in advance who would pay in case of an accident.
Second, obviously Tana shouldn't be driving with a learner's permit and no licensed driver. And the licensed driver should be in the front passenger seat.
Third, you don't set things on the dashboard. Just don't. I know it looks like a convenient shelf but stuff will NOT say there in any kind of a turn. and MORE IMPORTANT: If the passenger airbag goes off, whatever is sitting on it will take your head off.
They want you to pay 1/3 because your drink spilled. Those drinks should never have been on the dash but also Tana should never have been driving and Bee shouldn't have let her. Pay what you want to maintain the friendship but it's not your fault.
I'm going to go ahead and say that this whole thing has to be made up.
You are 100% not liable for any of the damages. The driver is the only one responsible for the damages, not even the owner of the car who allowed her to illegally drive.
> I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID.
Your Mom lost your citizenship? What does that even mean? Barely have any ID? What ID did you use to be hired at Starbucks? They likely would have asked for birth certificate and social security card or passport.
If her car is totaled, and there are damages to the other vehicle, how is that only $1,300? There would be one deductible payment. It sounds like a made up story and you have no knowledge of how this actually works.
NTA the driver is solely responsible for a car accident. You aren’t in control of the car and cannot be held responsible. You actually can file a claim against her insurance. Tell your friend that she should be happy that you are not filing a claim against her insurance.
NTA
It's the drivers responsibility to drive safely. If you grabbed the wheel, fair enough. But you're not even a qualified driver, it's not on you to recognise hazards, it's on her. Not leaving shit on the dashboard is basic and 100% her fault. Tbh Tana should be paying the lot.
The driver is liable for the accident along with the owner of the car who holds the insurance.
You owe nothing.
They are not your friends if they are trying to force you to pay.
A deductible does not change… so the fact that it skyrocketed from a ridiculous amount to an outrageous amount is sus af in itself.
You’re young, and it’s very sweet of you to think that you may have contributed to this unfortunate incident, but I can assure you, that you did not.
Your friends are taking advantage of your kindness & it’s absolutely ridiculous of them to request ANY amount of money from you for damages.
You were NOT driving. Your drink had nothing to do with your friend losing control of the car.
DO NOT CAVE.
DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY.
And if you are worried you might lose them as friends if you don’t pay… they aren’t real friends.
NTA
Friends don't let their friends drive their cars. Time and again BS like this happens. Buddy in high school let a friend drive his car. She pulled out and scrapped all along the side of the car next to her (she never stopped backing out).
NTA. This is what insurance is for. This is part of being a responsible car owner is about.
You knowingly got in a car with someone that doesn't have a driver's license, and it's a regular thing with you.
You forgot there were coffee cups on the dashboard, the thing right in front of you. You make bad decisions, you do risky things, and now you're looking to bail on the friend you did the risky thing with.
YTA.
I can’t believe Bee is paying at all. She wasn’t involved in the accident. Simply loaning her car to someone does NOT mean she assumes any liability for their negligence. Tana should be paying it all, and she should also learn how to drive better.
I could understand if this was to help pay for the interior clean up but it’s not, it’s clearly to fix the damage to the car. You as the passenger are not responsible for the damage since you had zero influence on the outcome of the crash. Just because one of your drinks was in the tray is not enough to incur blame to the of tune of $400!! That’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Your friends just want to not pay their fair lot of the $1300 since they are poor high school students that work at Starbucks. Maybe it’ll teach them to not freak out just because drinks spilled.
NTA
NTA
Bee is TA - for allowing an unlicensed and uninsured driver use her car.
Setting drinks up on the dash because the (capped) water bottles were in the cup holders is a very teen age thing to do.
Spilling drinks and freaking out and hitting another car is why Tana doesn’t have a drivers license.
Quit riding in cars with unlicensed drivers. Quit running around with these girls. There are so many red flags here. They will get you into worse situations and then abandon you.
You need to figure out your ID. You can’t just lose your citizenship documents and not get them replaced. The hospital where you were born should know where to get your birth certificate which proves your a citizen.
If you and your parents are naturalized then they can always order replacement documents.
Get yourself educated about how car insurance tagging and getting an ID works. Without these people will continue to take advantage of you by telling you that you need to “go turn yourself in” to insurance. Not how it works.
Initially before I read the details I was definitely leaning N TA. However after I read it I think you're a soft YTA for these reasons:
- it was wrong for Tana to be driving in the first place but you were ok with it since it benefitted you too. So you're both in this together the moment you went with her, and you assume the risk of being in a car with an inexperienced driver.
- yes you were in the passenger seat, and Tana also put her drink up on the dashboard. However I think that even if it was only your drink that spilled, this would have shocked her and potentially result in the same crash, so you were at least partially responsible
- soft because understandably this is a big deal event and a lot of money and your friends were probably not asking you for the money in a nice calm manner 😅
Yes, it sucks to pay such a high amount compared to what you make. But I hope you take this experience as a precaution for the future. Having an emergency fund will help with unexpected things like this that happen in life
ESH. For Someone with Just a learners permit, it is illegal to operate a vehicle without a licensed driver in the vehicle. I would imagine the insurance company is refusing to cover the cost. This may also keep her from obtaining her license. I hope you take drivers education.
Honestly, as a dad, YTA
First, if I was Bee's father, I'd be absolutely furious. She let another person, who does not have her license, drive her car. Second, that unlicensed person was driving a car with another person as a passenger. Third, that unlicensed person got into an accident with a car that was not hers, that she wasn't paying insurance on, while giving a ride to a passenger. While Tana could drive, she hasn't proven it by getting her license. If I was her father, I'd be furious. If I was your father, I'd still be furious.
What happened was incredibly stupid, unsafe and it did cause an accident. You all are lucky the only thing hurt was bank accounts and maybe some feelings and pride. The three of you acted like idiots, and now there are financial consequences. Especially for Bee and Tana. Bee or her parents now have to fix the car, and likely the person you hit's car. Tana was the driver and should be held liable as well.
You being a passenger largely absolves you of any financial obligation, but it was your drink and Tana's that caused the accident, so you do have some blame here. Whether your blame includes financial recompense is debatable. Your actions contributed to the accident and as a father, I would tell my daughter the right thing is to help pay, at a reasonable rate. They want $400, you wanted $200, so split it in the middle and hand over $300. Not offer, give.
You're a teenager, all of you are, and being a teenager means doing stupid things. I get it, I was one too and did my own stupid things. But sometimes those stupid things have big consequences. You three are lucky that the consequence is only $1300 and not a life ruined or ended.
This whole story sounds fake.
Supposedly the insurance company was notified and yet there is no mention of an unlicensed driver driving and hitting another vehicle?
This girl needs better friends because letting an unlicensed driver use your car is stupid even if it's supposedly just to buy you some gas.
Has Tanya been charged for operating a motor vehicle without a license? Where are all of your parents in all of this? The whole story just sounds wacky.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Let me start off by saying i(16f) am a minimum wage worker at Starbucks. So are my two friends in this story who i’ll call Bee(16f) and Tana(17f). Bee has her license and her own car, Tana has her learners but doesn’t have a car. I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID. Anyway, we all work at starbucks. Tana was hired by reference from me and Bee. Bee lets Tana drive her car around ever since she took it for a spin without Bees knowledge and filled up her tank. long story short, about 2-ish weeks ago me and Tana were waiting for Bee to get off her shift so we could go to the beach. While we were waiting wine and Tana went to go fill up Bees tank at the gas station Tana used to work at. Jokingly Tanas old co worker suggested she bring them all drinks from starbucks which we did. Me and Tana had also made 2 drinks for ourselves. While parked at the gas station we placed our drinks on the dashboard since the cupholders were occupied by Bees 2 water bottles. When we were leaving we had somehow forgotten that the drinks were up there, and during a turn the drinks had spilled all over the car. Tana panicked and hit a parked volkswagen. The lady we hit was understandably very mad. The payment for the car ended up being $1300 which Tana and Bee agreed to split since Tana was driving and Bee let her drive. Now today, they had suggested i split it with them since my drink also spilled. I argued that the drink Tana had would have spilled regardless if i was there or not and my drink didn’t make much difference. They said it was the “principle” of it and that i should do it because i’m their friend. I don’t feel $400 is fair for the amount i contributed. I would’ve felt 100-200 reasonable but 400 doesn’t seem reasonable.. i blocked them both after this argument because i’ve just had a rough day and can’t deal with this. But what should i do? am i the asshole for not wanting to pay 400?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
This is so ridiculous, you don’t owe them a single penny. You were not driving, you didn’t cause the accident. And you cleaned up the mess from the spilled drinks, which honestly was the fault of the driver too.
Do not pay them anything. If they press the issue, get their parents involved, get your parents involved. Your so called friends are trying to steal from you.
You're not accountable for one penny. There isn't a solution more reasonable than zero. It's unreasonable to expect anything from you beyond cleaning up the mess from your drink. They don't want to pay either and are just manipulating you. Have you talked to your parents? There is no way I'd let my child be taken advantage of like they're trying to do to you. NTA at all
Check out what it would cost to get a car fully cleaned. Don't contribute any more than that. The driver is responsible for for ensuring it's safe to drive.
NTA
Apart from the fact you as a passenger should have been the one to hold the tray of drinks while Tana was driving, you have nothing to do with the incident. You were not the driver or the car's owner. Do not pay or sign anything. And talk to your parents so they can help protect you.
US children with cars... Bee's parents should have been very clear : no one else but Bee drive her car... and she does not lend it, especially to someone who's not yet licensed !
I hope this will be a lesson to you : do not lend your car and do not let anything distract you while driving (be it eating, drinking, music or whatever).
Nope nope nope. You were a passenger. It’s the drivers responsibility to make sure there is nothing distracting and the car is safe to drive. She should have looked for the drinks. This is what insurance is for, so you don’t get hit by a large bill. Don’t pay a cent.
NTA, it takes a really shitty or inexperienced driver to freak out about their own drink spilling and then proceeding to hit another car afterward. It takes another fool to let an unlicensed person drive their car
Bee has a license at 16? Where are you based?
I feel bad for Bee and the fact her insurance is about to hike massively.
Though Bee shouldn’t have been a complete moron and let Tana drive her car.
NTA, you shouldn’t have had to pay anything. You did the right thing in cleaning the interior of the car. That should have been enough.
Seems more like a case of your friends going under the "bitch" category, feeling it's their right to have other's pay for their shit, or their mistakes. To elaborate, there's girls/women, and then there's bitches.
Oh them self-entitled bitches..
My apologies if I offend your friends, it's not every day you get a free pass to call out bitches and I took it.
Only thing that's expected of you in that scenario is to help clean. It's her car, you don't co-own it, neither did you maneuver the car in any way. NTA.
NTA at all. The driver is 100% at fault whether it was your drink that spilled or not.
It’s the drivers responsibility to make sure everybody is safe, check for hazards before setting off, and that they don’t crash into anything!?
NTA - Not your responsibility. And even if you wanted to help, I'd ask for the estimate so you know they aren't trying to just take money from you. Chances are insurance covered some of it.
You aren’t responsible and don’t pay them a damn dime. They’re being greedy and lazy for not owning up to their own mistakes. DO NOT give them the $400. You aren’t at fault because you weren’t driving!
NTA you weren't driving. You didn't cause her to over react and hit the woman's car. You aren't responsible for any part. Your friends are gaslighting, and using you
It's always about "the principle" with these unprincipled bozos - second only to the "bUt fAMiLy" mooches in driving Reddit posts.
OP wasn't driving, bozo was. Bozo screwed up, so it's her problem.
NTA
NTA - None of this is your responsibility. It's the driver's responsibility to drive safely! I don't know why these girls insist you pay. Wasn't there insurance on the car?
I mean, If my car was crashed by someone, he would have to pay everything... i would not split the bill.
I just don't understand why Bee has to pay something he wans't driving, and I don't understand why you have to pay something because you weren't driving either.
NTA
Look, for the drink, I can understand wanting to pay up but paying for an accident that YOU didn’t cause is out right ridiculous. YOU weren’t the one behind the wheel. YOU weren’t at fault for what happened to the car. TANA was the one behind the wheel. That is between Bee and Tana. You don’t need to pay that much over something you didn’t cause. Tana shouldn’t even be behind the wheel unless someone of the age 25 and up is in the car. (Unless I’m wrong then please correct me or it’s a whole different state/country.) NTA.
NTA
Worry but you guys are silly for putting drinks on the dash but the driver is liable for panicking and hitting someone. The driver of the vehicle is responsible for the safe operation. Op should not have to pay anything.
Since Tana told you not to put the drinks there and you did anyway and since you started screaming at her, pulling on her arms, which caused the crash, yeah, you should pay. Oh, none of this happened? Then why should you pay? Tana is the responsible driver. None of this was your fault. She is lucky she did not injure you. I don’t think those are your friends. NTA.
If her deductible was $700, it should have remained $700? Those things don’t increase based on the accident type, at least from my experience.
It feels very suspicious to me that she’s asking for double what the deductible was - almost as if she’s trying to get you both to pay for all the expenses instead of split then with her.
NTA. The driver is responsible in this case not you. The extra costs may be related to the fact that it wasn't the owner behind the wheel, some insurances don't cover other drivers or cover less.
So deductibles are generally $250, $500 or $1000. You may want to talk to her parents about this as both amounts seem off unless they are paying for the cars damages out of pocket.
YTA
If a passenger interferes with the driver, or distracts the driver, then causing an accident, the passenger bares some responsibility.
(I’ve had passengers grab my arm, grab the steering wheel, burst a blown up bag behind me, and even jokingly block my eyes, in a guess-who game, while I was driving. Luckily no accident ever occurred, though nearly got rear ended from my slamming the bakes. )
As your negligently left drink, as well as your friend’s caused the accident, you are also to blame.
NTA. Don’t be spineless. I live in Houston where driving is like the Hunger Games or Mad Max. All the times I’ve had spilled drinks, kids spilling drinks, kids or the dog vomiting in the car while I’m driving. All of this while dodging asshole drivers, never had an accident.Fuck that, it’s a cash grab. Don’t pay a cent. If they can’t handle a spilled drink they should take the bus.
You don't owe anything.. but.. as far as I know, car insurance deductibles are in multiples of $250.. like $250, $500, $1000, $1500, $2000. not $700 or 1300.
$100 deductible USED to exist, but it's long gone.
nta but this should be a big lesson for you: 1) don’t hang out with these girls, they will make you take responsibility in their shenanigans. 2) please get your papers in order, it will cause you a lot less stress in the future (you’re young but you should get a hold of those, i’m a little concerned your mom lost your citizenship?). anyways 3) always just toss the water bottles OUT OF THE CUPHOLDERS THEY DONT NEED TO BE THERE THEY HAVE LIDS. always put opened drinks in the cup holders. i know they fit because i used to work at a bookstore that had a starbucks and used their cups all the time in my truck (which has unusually small cup holders idk if that’s just the model of my truck tho). anyways i don’t think you should have to pay your friends. Also the girl you’ve known since freshmen year is pretty weird. she stole your friends car and put gas in it and your other friend was cool with that? this is somewhat of an always sunny dynamic. I’m glad I’m not this young anymore.
NTA. As a passenger, you don't owe a damn thing, and that doesn't make you a bad friend. They just don't want to take responsibility and have to pay everything out of their own pockets. Also, it's suspicious that the price basically doubled.
Side note, it's totally okay to block people if they're overwhelming you. It's not like you can't unblock them later when you're ready to rejoin the conversation. Don't let them bully/manipulate you into thinking you're financially responsible in any way because legally you're not and if they don't like it maybe they're not as good of friends as you thought.
NTA but I wouldn’t be so bold to tell people you work for Starbucks. Did you like the side of g/enocide that came with your coffee. You don’t seem too bright. You’re letting your bffs screw you for feeling guilty over spilled milk but nothing about the added blood on Starbucks hands. (I’m not faulting you for needing pay in this but the facts remain the same. You work for Zionist you are aiding the g.enocide).
she hits a car because she panicked? What will she do in a highway where the risks are higher? She should pay in full, not even Bee and Tana should go back to driving school. NTA but both of them are for trying to make you pay
Please, don't let yourself go in their conversation... you don't owe them a single dime. Is is the driver responsability to make sure that everything is ok to proceed with the ride. They are trying to get money from you!
So many bad takes here from people who don’t know how liability or insurance work:
First of all NTA. If you cleaned the car up you don’t own a cent. If I was Bee I would consider you partially responsible for the spill in that the driver’s hands are full and is reasonable to assume you would just hold them to avoid this whole mess. So yes you owe for *part* of that but you already cleaned it up so you’re good. Your obligations are done, Bee isn’t owed anything. Tanya as a co-tortfeasor should be grateful you are a good sport and cleaned up the mess.
Tanya crashed the car because she was distracted by unsecured items in the vehicle. Fault for that is on her and Bee for being the moron who knowingly sent an unlicensed driver on errands (gas). If the other vehicles damage was <2k it probably wasn’t a huge accident but they are both idiots and they owe for the damage to both cars. You do not owe for this, had you and your drink not been there it wouldn’t change the accident one whit.
OP you are not an asshole but you are an idiot. Stop getting into vehicles with unlicensed drivers, stop hanging out with people who would take someone’s car without permission (even if the first time all she did was fill it). Frankly they both seem like losers if they are making up random sums to ask you for ($700? $400? $1300? These are not typical deductible amounts).
Don’t get sucked into the dysfunctional pace of these two. Figure out your legal paperwork situation and find a job where you can make friends worth your time.
Blame Bee for occupying the cup holders with her water bottles :) if they hadn't been there, you wouldn't have put your drinks there ;)
You are 16, I think adults should talk here (parents). If the car is deemed totaled by the insurance company, what's the point?
The passenger has no responsibility here unless you were actively doing something to distract the driver.
Nope, you do t owe them anything. They are lucky you didn’t file an injury claim for the accident with the car being driven by a person with a learners permit
You have nothing to do with the crash, as you were not driving and you did not distract the driver. I understand these are your friends but they are clearly trying to lighten the load on themselves by making you chip in for no valid reason.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I didnt want to pay $400 for being in the passenger seat and spilling a drink during a car crash 2) I want to know if i’m in the wrong for not wanting to pay $400 Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
That is ridiculous..they are just trying to get $$$ from you. You had nothing whatsoever to do with the operation of the car. NTAH and don't give them a dime.
Not one cent. You were a passenger. NTA
This. The driver is responsible for the safe operation of the car, including dealing with stuff on the dashboard etc. You owe them nothing.
Yeah, it might be a different story if OP had put her drink up there and Tana had not. Or if Tana had asked her to get them down so they wouldn't spill. I totally get why a lap full of cold or hot drinks could cause you to crash. But Tana put them up there.
If this was in the US my understanding is that the owner of the car would be responsible for damage to the parked VW but would be able to sue and collect from the driver if the driver didn't voluntarily compensate the owner. In no way shape or form could a passenger be held liable, even if their spilled drink startled the driver. "You startled me!" isn't actionable.
The "principle" of this is that the person at fault is the one who pays.
its like asking money for the service cos you sat in the car. they can jog on
Yes !!!
They should ask the VW lady for her share as well. If she hadn't parked there, there would be no damage! /sarcasm
It's only right because... **checks notes** "it's the principal"
"principle"
Touché
No, the VW owner was actually the principal of their high school. Thus, reasons.
You're right! I hadn't thought of that.
NTA Tana incurs $1300 for hitting a parked car and they want you to pay $400 because you had a drink with you? And you weren't even behind the wheel? Help clean up the interior, but ...... I don't think so.
Interior was in fact cleaned up by me!
Send them a bill for cleaning the interior for $400. Then tell them forget it. Let’s call it even. Do not pay anything. Not your fault.
And then write that off your taxes as an unpaid invoice!
Well that’s silly. The only reason you’d be able to write off an unpaid invoice would be if you claimed the original invoice on your taxes to begin with. You’re just telling OP to create more work for herself 😂
lmao, OP is a teenager working at starbucks. They're not going to make enough money for tax wrtie-offs to matter.
I know this is a joke, but OP is a teenager who seems to have no idea how car insurance works, and possibly dubious citizenship? So I don’t want her to get confused. OP, please know this is a joke and don’t do this!
lol, fair. You're a good egg.
Make the bill for $405 for them spilling your drink you bought also.
Off-topic but posting here for visibility. Your mom "lost your citizenship"? Are you sure you're actually a citizen? You need to have a serious conversation with her about this. It sounds like there's a very high chance you're (unknowingly) an illegal immigrant. I understand keeping it a secret from a child but you're now at an age where you really need to know. You need to be very, very careful about getting into any kind of legal trouble or coming under the eyes of the authorities for any reason whatsoever.
I. Could be wrong but I think (hope) she means citizenship paperwork, not her actual citizenship? Not sure how a parent could “lose” citizenship for a kid once established.
My point is it might not be established. If there's a valid birth certificate than a replacement could just be easily ordered, there's no reason for that to be an ongoing problem. It would only be a problem if there is no birth certificate at all...
It's not unheard of for kids in America to believe they're citizens and find out when they apply for jobs/college they are, in fact, undocumented immigrants with no right to be in the country. It's a very difficult situation and op needs to know if that's the cade here.
Yeah, I would get that shit sorted now. Instead of just brushing it off like it's a minor thing. Maybe she isn't, but the way it's written kind of makes it seems like it is. If she plans on going to college, getting loans, etc, I'd be checking to make sure what I need, and then making sure I have that, so I don't get caught out because paperwork can take a while. Especially if you have to get something from another country.
They work at Starbucks. So they had to of provided some documentation for work that either allows them to work in the US or confirms their citizenship
Sometimes undocumented kids get told that the reason they've never seen their birth certificate, gotten a passport, gotten a driver's license, etc., is because their parents lost their paperwork, when in reality, they never had US citizenship in the first place, because the parent doesn't want the kid to accidentally tell the wrong person about it. However, if she's been hired by a Starbucks, they probably required her social security card before putting her on payroll, so it's also possible that she's a citizen and just doesn't know the right words for what she's describing.
My friend told me for years that the Immigration office lost her and her dad's paperwork and that's why they weren't citizens yet. IDK if she believed it (she was far more worldly than me at that age) but now as an adult I realize it was a lie and they were both likely undocumented.
Yeah, this is what makes me say writing exercise rather than actual experience -- how is she working *with* a bank account without her citizenship papers? And who calls ids, etc citizenship papers anyway? Starbucks and banks require all your paperwork to work there.
It's possible to open a bank account as an undocumented person. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/undocumented-immigrants-bank-accounts#:\~:text=Can%20I%20open%20a%20bank,consular%20ID%20or%20birth%20certificate.
She’s also 16, I don’t know about you… but at the age I didn’t know how to navigate the legal gov websites and dmvs to do my own docs, specifically because my parents usually had them at the age, except for IDs of course.
There have been instances where parents were undocumented or parents were documented (but complete morons) and did not submit paperwork or provided the child with fake ID and SS but never told them of their status. Of the top of my head, there was a story of USC (US Citizen) grandparent who took in his grandchild who was undocumented that was not aware of it. Gramps gave the kid fake ID but only told him to never get driver's license. Kid did not listen (because why would he). Another story of Korean kid that was adopted but moron parents that did not submit his paperwork in US and under Trump, the now adult, was deported to SK without even knowing Korean. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/adoptee-deported-u-s-sue-south-korea-adoption-agency-n961776 OP seems like your average 16 year old teenager, which might be a problem. There were way too many red flags in her post.
But it's such a weird detail to throw in as a writing exercise, since being a 16 year old without their license isn't *that* abnormal. The story could function just the same without it.
She wouldn’t be able to work at Starbucks if she was illegal, they E-verify their employees. She probably just don’t fully understand what’s like “to lose citizenship” truly means. She def has a social security and etc, otherwise no Starbucks employment.
That’s actually not true, especially in California regardless of her citizenship status, she is not the asshole. She is not responsible for this at all. NTA
Trust me I’d know. I don’t have citizenship, you cannot work for a big corporation like that without proper paperwork. I’ve worked in hospitality without it, smaller restaurants where they don’t truly verify it, but in California, before I got my SS, I applied and tried with an ITIN number and they weren’t able to hire me because it came back negative from E-verify. Had to wait for my actual SS and work permit. Some smaller places will turn a “blind eye”, but the big guys will do their homework, too much of liability.
If you have the info to satisfy Starbucks, surely you have the info to get a license. She’s saving up for a car but doesn’t have a license which is strange - is she planning on driving without a license?
I became a citizen, and my children (under 18) got derived citizenship from me. If she was born here, she could order a new birth certificate and voila, problem solved. If she was not born here, she would need her parents' citizenship paperwork to prove it. If there is no paperwork because they are not citizens, then the child is not either. She might be illegal OR have a valid green card. In either case, this is something she needs to sort out, but she is not an adult, so her parents must help. As for hiring someone: me (adult) was always required to give them my valid green card so they can make a copy. My son, on the other hand, was never asked for his as a non-adult. That said, before we became citizens, we were here legally, so all the employer had to do was log in a system and check with our SSNs. Best of luck OP!!!
Hi! Yes i am a citizen. I had other forms of ID, just not with my face. I moved to Canada when i was 2 and my mom takes a lot of pestering to get things done.. All my parents needed to do was translate my birth certificate. Since they both have their citizenships they just need to prove that they’re my parents. So everything will be sorted for the summer 👍👍
She works at a Starbucks, and most national chains have an auto-process for their HR stuff that would require her social security number/immigration paperwork, though. I do get what you're saying, and I think OP should talk to her parents and get some clarification ASAP, because you're right, this isn't normal.
Then you’ve fulfilled your responsibilities. You weren’t driving so you shouldn’t pay for any of the damages. Tana should have done a better job driving or not driven a friend’s car
Driver and the owner of the car are the only ones at fault. Dont give a penny
NTA but it really should be professionally cleaned if there were milk products in any of those drinks. That smell does not go away.
What's that? You've got a stiff neck?
NTA. You're responsible for half of cleaning the interior of Bee's car (either in cleaning it yourself or paying someone) because your drink dirtied her property. You aren't responsible for Tana driving into a parked car because she got distracted by drinks. The damage to Bee's car and the other car are for Bee and Tana (and hopefully insurance) to work out between them.
yes, as soon as we got back to the parking lot i cleaned the spilled drinks with alcohol wipes. I was real mad about it because me and Tana had just vacuumed and cleaned the car before too😔
If anything the driver should be paying OP for a (relatively) inexpensive life lesson that that OP helped her learn! If you’re piloting around a multi-ton hunk of metal you don’t just freak the fuck out any time something unexpected happens. She could have easily killed a kid.
What do you mean you went to the insurance company and turned yourself in? Do you mean the owner of the company filed an insurance claim??? If so then the insurance company pays for the damage. You understand that right?
NTA - you cleaned up the spill so there was no cost for that. It's not your car and your insurance. They are being AHs for trying to get a break on the repair cost. You weren't party to their arrangement, you were just riding along. So you don't owe them any money. "You should pay me money because your my friend" doesn't work in rl. "Yes, we should have been driving with a DL." Honey, you weren't the one driving. Bee and Tana made the arrangements between the two of them. They are financially responsible. The important lesson here is that 1) Tana shouldn't be driving without a licensed driver accompanying, 2) Bee shouldn't be loaning out her car, 3) your friends are trying to extort you. They aren't being friends, they're just trying to reduce their own financial responsibility at your expense. your owe them nothing
There's a 4th lesson, and it's important as well. Don't ever get in a car with an unlicensed driver, u/Standard_Report9304 !!!! Aside from that, NTA. You weren't driving. Car shouldn't have moved until the drinks were off the dash and was safe to go. Tana made the choice to put the car in drive prematurely and that's all on her.
This story is complete and total BS. I'm not sure why OP even wrote it. You can't get hired at Starbucks without papers. Starbucks is absolutely going to be asking for proof of work authorization. Secondly, no insurance company in the universe is going to pay out the claim if you tell them you willingly allowed an unlicensed driver to operate the vehicle.
The more I think the more this reads like fiction written by someone who REALLY has no idea how ANYTHING works.
It doesn't sound so much like BS to me. but it does sound like a lot of ignorance all around. OP doesn't sound like she's had a lot of advantages in life. She just needs reassurance to get rid of the mean girls.
I agree. It sounds more like a kid who is using poor terminology because she has no idea what she is talking about rather than a made up story. Unfortunately, it's her lack of understanding that may be causing her to omit crucial details we would need to help. But that's the way these things go sometimes.
OP's Mom doesn't have papers. OP does but "barely" could be just birth certificate and ss.
That's all you need to work.
I know. That's what I'm saying.
NTA. Get better friends and block these idiots.
Yeah I had a “friend” try to pin him accidentally busting a window out on me when we went ding dong ditching at another buddy’s as teenagers. It got to the point that his mom called me and told me she knows I did it so I need to pay for it. I told her he literally got caught red handed so she can fuck off and stopped talking to that dude completely after that. Serious loser shit to turn on your friends over a little money, but hey at least I knew he was a pos and to avoid him.
ESH I’m surprised insurance is covering any of this considering your friend let an unlicensed person drive their vehicle. The damage should be the absolute least of your worries. Your idiot friend could have killed someone. Do better and grow the fuck up.
Man when I was that age and my parents got me a car, I was NEVER allowed to have anyone but me drive it. They would be furious if they found out I let a friend drive it. Hell, I wasn’t even allowed to drive friends around in my car until I was at least 18.
A lot of states don't allow people under 18 to drive with more than one passenger. In Ohio, they implemented that law when I was getting my license almost 15 years ago. They have variations on this type of law in 47 States and DC. I'm also shocked that the insurance covered it. I wouldn't be surprised if they dropped Bee and her family after they paid out the damages. I have no doubt that wherever she tries to get insurance next, it will cost her an arm and a leg. If she's able to get it.
I got my license in like 2007 and I wasn't allowed to drive anyone under age 18 until I was 18. I did it anyway but my parents would have killed me if they found out.
I had a twin sister, so I had to loophole and was able to have two passengers in my car. It was kind of nice. I did drive quite often with multiple people, but it was normally to practice or a game, so it wasn't like we were doing anything reckless.
NTA - you were not driving without a lisence, you did not hit another car. An accident could have happened whether there were drinks on the dashboard or not. If you had been hurt, no indurance to cover the medical bills? Learn some lessons from this. Don't drive without a lisence. Don't get in a car driven by someone who doesn't have a lisence. Don't drive a car if you're not insured. Don't drive with people who aren't insured.
a lesson has definitely been learned 😅😅
*license
You need to not only block those two dufuses but contact an injury attorney for the injury to your neck caused by Tana’s hysterical driving and since Bee owns the car she owns insurance. Make sure your attorneys now the driver wasn’t the owner of vehicle. NTA you don’t owe them a cent.
Don’t listen to greedy idiots like this.
Hey, kid. Safety of the car operation is a sole responsibility of the driver. Driver should have ensured car is fit to go before taking off. This offence together with driving without a valid license is solely on Tana. All kind of incidents may happen - bee flies in the window, murky water covers windshield, driver is blinded by the sun… No matter what it’s on a driver to stop vehicle safely, not nosedive it into obstacles. She’s lucky it was a car not a person. Your friend Bee is not responsible for this either, it’s on Tana, but she commits a separate offence - lending vehicle to a person without a valid permit. Where I’m from it would cost her same as if she herself was driving without one, so fine, license points, potentially ban and retaking the license exam. But it’s separate, as it wasn’t her that drove in the other car. If she tries to cover up this transgression I suppose it makes sense for her to subsidise Tana. Although usually insurance will get involved and it will come up anyway and make its way to the police, so not sure what’s the point. Now you. You have no business with all this shit show whatsoever. While it wasn’t the best of judgement to travel with unlicensed driver, you didn’t lend it to Tana and you didn’t drive in a parked car. Checking that vehicle is safe to operate which it wasn’t with unsecured drinks on the dashboard was also drivers sole responsibility. So no, you don’t own anything to anyone, NTA. Seeing how they are your friends depending on how important they are to you you may lend a hand by borrowing or gifting them some money but it’s solely up to you and has nothing to do with your responsibility for the accident. NTA but try to avoid driving with unlicensed drivers in the future.
Unfortunately for Bee, knowingly allowing an unlicensed driver makes them just as much at fault for any accidents or damage caused by the vehicle as the unlicensed driver. It’s a whole different game than lending your car to a licensed driver as you are basically turning the operation of your vehicle over to a legally non-competent and unqualified operator. Bee may as well had driven the car into the parked car herself at that point. Tana may lose her driving privileges for a period of time and lose her permit for driving a vehicle unsupervised and causing an accident. Police might just keep it an insurance matter as it’s all property damage with no outside party injury because they don’t feel like doing the paperwork. Bee is 100% on the hook for the deductible and might be 100% on the hook for the damages if the insurance company decides to not cover that accident. All I know is Bee’s insurance rates are going through the roof for that stunt.
I suppose it depends on jurisdiction. In UK you will be processed as driving without a license yourself but the consequences of the driving will still be solely on the driver, as the direct cause of the damage.
Assuming this is about the damage to the two cars vs the cleaning fee then NTA. The only person who should be paying for damage to the cars is the driver. If there’s an element of cleaning fee then that portion should be split equally between you and the other person in the car.
Interior was in fact cleaned by me 👍
Then you’re all good fam….
Which is good. I wouldn’t give them any money if you already cleaned. Even if you didn’t help clean, you can get a car professionally detailed for $150 so $400 is completely ridiculous.
Unless you did something like grab her arm while she was driving then NTA. She crashed the car and is responsible.
yeah no, it took me about like 5 seconds to processed what even happened after the crash haha😭
Good lord what's the point of posting here if you won't accept the advice? Throw away your paycheck to crappy people who are obviously conning you if you want to, but you'll continue to go broke funding their lies until you grow a backbone. NTA for the specific question you asked
NTA It’s extremely suspicious that they’re saying the cost of the deductible has changed from $700 to $1300 - not only is that a high deductible to begin with, but deductibles don’t change after the fact. I have some guesses about what happened. Theory 1 - Bee’s insurance claim was denied either because Tana was not an insured driver on Bee’s policy or because Tana was driving illegally without a driver’s license. Now Bee is on the hook for the other car’s and her own repairs out of pocket. Theory 2 - The damages to Bee’s car total out the vehicle. Bee would have to surrender the car to the insurance company and try to find another car with whatever payout she gets, or pay the insurance company the scrap value of the car in order to keep it. Insurance pays for the other car’s repairs, but she has to pay out of pocket for hers. Theory 3 - The insurance payout for Bee’s car isn’t enough to get another car without adding a significant amount of her own money, and she doesn’t have it. She may be pressuring Tana to help make up the difference, but Tana doesn’t have enough either so they’re hoping to pressure you into chipping in, too. Whatever the case is, your responsibility in all this is to clean half the spilled drinks. That’s it. Tana was the one responsible for the operation of the vehicle at the time, and Tana is the one who failed to drive safely. Bee was the one who failed to protect her assets by allowing an unlicensed and panic-prone operator to drive her car illegally. I feel sorry for Bee as she’s the one getting screwed, but that’s not in any way your fault. Do not give them ANY money.
NTA. However, why not get a drink holder? You're being driven around in someone elses car, be the drink holder.
NTA Either they can't afford it or just don't want to pay that much. They know it's not fair to ask that of you, they're just trying to kind of force you to help them out. They could've asked you nicely to help them and accepting your answer if you said no, but they tried to come up with some wild reasoning to make it your "obligation" to pay them hoping you wouldn't be able to say no. If you gave in now, that'd be a "friendship" filled with them pulling similar stunt to guilt and/or gaslight you into doing things for them that they know aren't fair.
Here's the problem. Your friend's insurance company is either not paying the claim due to it from a unlicensed driver, or she is not claiming the damages to her car with her insurance. The level of ignorance of you and your friends leads me to believe none of you should be ever driving. Most states require learner permit drivers must have a licensed driver over 21 in the car at all times. So all of you = YTA.... Word of advice. Take the bus please.
Most likely, the other person is going through the insurance, and Bee's insurance is refusing to pay. Since they're borrowing the car, the insurance only may cover part of the damage. It varies from policy to policy. I kind of agree with yta. They should have never taken the car. It's a bit ridiculous in my mind.
NTA but why the hell didn't either of you move the water bottles? That would have been the sensible thing to have done. Just because Bees' bottles were there doesn't mean they couldn't have been moved, I'm assuming they would have been safe to place anywhere.
NTA At the end of the day its her fault for not paying attention.
As a passenger, you would not be financially responsible. It is up to the *driver* to be sure the car is safe to drive. If this is real, don't shell out a single dime. None of you are over 18, and Tana only has a learner's permit. There are restrictions on when someone with a permit can drive. I'm sure they vary, but where I am driving alone is a huge violation, and so is driving without an adult in the front seat supervising. Either way, it is all but certain Tana was driving illegally. >I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID. If this is true, how did you get a job at Starbucks? >We went to an insurance company and turned ourselves in (we filed a claim lol). Really? Most claims are filed by phone or online, not in person. The insurance is almost certainly in Bee's parents' name, not hers. They would need to file the claim. If you were honest about who was driving, the insurance *will not pay*! If you lied, it is fraud. I call bullshit.
My uncle has an insurance company and does not handle claims. He helps people file claims, but only the individuals on the insurance can file. Also, they went to the police station? Why wouldn't you call the police to the scene of the accident?
Nta. You weren't driving and your presence made no difference. The drivers drink still would've fallen had she been alone. You cleaned up the mess. Her not controlling a vehicle isn't on you. I can tell you right now, a drink spilling would not make me hit another vehicle. Your friend had no business driving that car without a license. It's 100% on the driver, you were just along for the ride. Side note: If an insurance claim was filed then the insurance pays for the damages. If you give anyone money it would be the car owners parents. Whoever pays for the insurance. Do not give your friends anything, ask Bee's parents. Their insurance probably just went up. If they're being extra I would keep them blocked. You were an observer. They're lucky you didn't file a injury claim for whiplash.
INFO - Where are all the adults? Children (yes you are) shouldn’t be dealing with insurance and claims without guidance. Odds are the Bee’s insurance I through her parents/guardians. Correct me if I’m wrong, but a 16 year old can’t have an individual policy. It’s a contract and a 16 year old can’t enter into a legal contract. OP they are taking you for a ride. You say you don’t know about cars, well you need to research and learn fast. Wise up, learn to say no, and find better friends.
NTA. I am sort of confused as to how you guys didn’t see the drinks right in front of you on the dashboard. But regardless Tana was the driver and the car was in her care. She’s responsible and Bee is the one who decided to lend a person who only has a learners license her car.
ESH. Seriously this is so irresponsible, y’all are lucky you didn’t hurt yourselves or someone else being this level of stupid. so glad I’m not a teenager anymore.
Nta but why make this post if you're going to try and argue with everyone. You don't owe anyone anything. But you did do stupid stuff.
NTA You weren’t driving the car. The car wasn’t in your control, so it’s not your fault this happened. The idea of you giving them some money because you’re their friend should have come from you IF you wanted to, but it’s not mandatory that they can demand from you. They could have asked you to help with the amount politely and not demanded it. They just want to reduce the load off themselves, so they’re making you pay. They weren’t your friends who asked for the drinks, you just made your drink as well. Was it your idea to keep the drink there? Was it expected of you to take care of the drinks? Also, per my knowledge, if a person has a learner’s alone, shouldn’t they be accompanied by a person who has a DL? I’m not sure of the rules, just asking..
NTA honey don’t pay for anything! They’re trying to get over on you! The only person responsible is the driver that is at fault and the owner of that vehicle. You didn’t run into that other car so don’t pay anything
How did she cause $1300 in damages and almost totaled the car she was driving? Did she press her foot on the pedal after getting splashed? If so, she shouldn't be driving.
NTA why was the she driving the car in the first place? She doesn’t have a license, she didn’t have an adult licensed driver in the front seat. She was literally committing a crime and i’m very surprised that insurance is willing to do anything with those circumstances. They just want money out of you, maybe to pay Tana’s fine for driving without a license.
Life lessons will be repeated until learned. Your getting taken advantage of by your”friends” life is gonna suck for you if you never stand up for yourself.
This whole incident, you’re about to find out why these two aren’t your friends. Who was driving? Tana? Ok, whose car was it? Bee’s? It’s between those two. Those drinks are irrelevant and there is no principle behind you contributing. There’s a deductible, yes, but insurance takes care of the rest. I wouldn’t waste my time with either of them anymore after this. All three of you are hard up for money and now they’re tryna take advantage of a situation that happened and get even more at your expense. You’re NTA, but you need to find new people to hang out with
If a drink spilling is enough to freak out your friends and cause a car crash. dO NOT get into a car with them..they can't drive and you are all lucky you got out alive and well. It's illegal for either of your friends to be driving minors around.
NTA. You shouldn’t be paying, you weren’t driving. Period. If they insist, block them (again). Ffs
NTA Offer to clean your spilled drink. That's more than YOUR share of the responsibility. The rest is the driver'sr esponsibility, and between her and the owner. YOu were a passenger.
Whoever drives bears responsibility. The driver is like the captain of a ship, responsible for everything that happens with the car and it's passengers. Not your fault she can't drive and hit another car because the drinks have spilled. I got stung by fucking wasps while driving and only allowed myself to succumb to pain after pulling over safely.
INFO: You say "we" placed the drinks on the dashboard, was that you in particular or someone else? If you put them there and as a result during a normal turn the driver was doused with hot coffee, I think you may share some responsibility. It's understandable if a driver isn't fully in control of the vehicle if they get scalded unexpectedly while driving. If you didn't put it there, then whoever did takes that part of the responsibility. Also, as I understand it, Bee, the car's owner, wasn't in the car at the time, yet Bee is splitting the costs? I can understand Bee being upset with that, because she loaned the car to your guys, and it came back wrecked. I wouldn't expect her to let anyone else drive, especially if it all started with Tana taking Bee's car 'for a spin' without her knowledge. Is she really OK with it, or just non-confrontational?
NTA...please DO NOT give them any money. YOU cleaned the mess up from drinks spills, so you don't owe anything now. And plus if you were to pay for someone to come detail the car, it would probably cost no more than $100 to maybe $150. YOU absolutely do not owe anything whatsoever. You don't even have a DL and you were the passenger. Insurance will pay for the cost of damages after the deductible is paid. Tell your friends you're not paying them any money since 1.)You were the passenger. 2.) You don't have a DL. 3.)You already cleaned the interior. 4.)Insurance will fix, that's why she has it lol. And 5.)YOU WERE NOT DRIVING!! Its not your responsibility. Please update us once you talk to your friends. AGAIN, DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY, YOU WEREN'T DRIVING, YOU WERE THE PASSENGER!!
NTA. Get new friends
This is messed up in several ways. First and most important: The owner of the car is responsible for the damages. Always. The owner and the driver should agree in advance who would pay in case of an accident. Second, obviously Tana shouldn't be driving with a learner's permit and no licensed driver. And the licensed driver should be in the front passenger seat. Third, you don't set things on the dashboard. Just don't. I know it looks like a convenient shelf but stuff will NOT say there in any kind of a turn. and MORE IMPORTANT: If the passenger airbag goes off, whatever is sitting on it will take your head off. They want you to pay 1/3 because your drink spilled. Those drinks should never have been on the dash but also Tana should never have been driving and Bee shouldn't have let her. Pay what you want to maintain the friendship but it's not your fault.
I'm going to go ahead and say that this whole thing has to be made up. You are 100% not liable for any of the damages. The driver is the only one responsible for the damages, not even the owner of the car who allowed her to illegally drive. > I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID. Your Mom lost your citizenship? What does that even mean? Barely have any ID? What ID did you use to be hired at Starbucks? They likely would have asked for birth certificate and social security card or passport. If her car is totaled, and there are damages to the other vehicle, how is that only $1,300? There would be one deductible payment. It sounds like a made up story and you have no knowledge of how this actually works.
I think the comments have covered OP’s question but… I’m just left wondering how you leave two Starbucks drinks on the dashboard and not notice them…
INFO: How did your mum loose your citizenship?
You wrote ‘my mom lost my citizenship.’ What do you mean?
NTA - you weren't driving so you're not the one at fault.
NTA the driver is solely responsible for a car accident. You aren’t in control of the car and cannot be held responsible. You actually can file a claim against her insurance. Tell your friend that she should be happy that you are not filing a claim against her insurance.
NTA. Not your problem. You weren’t driving. Don’t pay a dime. Tell them to sue you for it if they want
NTA It's the drivers responsibility to drive safely. If you grabbed the wheel, fair enough. But you're not even a qualified driver, it's not on you to recognise hazards, it's on her. Not leaving shit on the dashboard is basic and 100% her fault. Tbh Tana should be paying the lot.
The driver is liable for the accident along with the owner of the car who holds the insurance. You owe nothing. They are not your friends if they are trying to force you to pay.
A deductible does not change… so the fact that it skyrocketed from a ridiculous amount to an outrageous amount is sus af in itself. You’re young, and it’s very sweet of you to think that you may have contributed to this unfortunate incident, but I can assure you, that you did not. Your friends are taking advantage of your kindness & it’s absolutely ridiculous of them to request ANY amount of money from you for damages. You were NOT driving. Your drink had nothing to do with your friend losing control of the car. DO NOT CAVE. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY. And if you are worried you might lose them as friends if you don’t pay… they aren’t real friends. NTA
Friends don't let their friends drive their cars. Time and again BS like this happens. Buddy in high school let a friend drive his car. She pulled out and scrapped all along the side of the car next to her (she never stopped backing out). NTA. This is what insurance is for. This is part of being a responsible car owner is about.
You knowingly got in a car with someone that doesn't have a driver's license, and it's a regular thing with you. You forgot there were coffee cups on the dashboard, the thing right in front of you. You make bad decisions, you do risky things, and now you're looking to bail on the friend you did the risky thing with. YTA.
I can’t believe Bee is paying at all. She wasn’t involved in the accident. Simply loaning her car to someone does NOT mean she assumes any liability for their negligence. Tana should be paying it all, and she should also learn how to drive better.
NTA. Driver and owner are responsible, not you.
Absolutely INappropriate of her to ask you to pay $400 unless you caused the crash, which you didn’t.
I could understand if this was to help pay for the interior clean up but it’s not, it’s clearly to fix the damage to the car. You as the passenger are not responsible for the damage since you had zero influence on the outcome of the crash. Just because one of your drinks was in the tray is not enough to incur blame to the of tune of $400!! That’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Your friends just want to not pay their fair lot of the $1300 since they are poor high school students that work at Starbucks. Maybe it’ll teach them to not freak out just because drinks spilled. NTA
NTA Bee is TA - for allowing an unlicensed and uninsured driver use her car. Setting drinks up on the dash because the (capped) water bottles were in the cup holders is a very teen age thing to do. Spilling drinks and freaking out and hitting another car is why Tana doesn’t have a drivers license. Quit riding in cars with unlicensed drivers. Quit running around with these girls. There are so many red flags here. They will get you into worse situations and then abandon you. You need to figure out your ID. You can’t just lose your citizenship documents and not get them replaced. The hospital where you were born should know where to get your birth certificate which proves your a citizen. If you and your parents are naturalized then they can always order replacement documents. Get yourself educated about how car insurance tagging and getting an ID works. Without these people will continue to take advantage of you by telling you that you need to “go turn yourself in” to insurance. Not how it works.
NTA. You cleaned the interior and that is where your responsibility ends!!!
Initially before I read the details I was definitely leaning N TA. However after I read it I think you're a soft YTA for these reasons: - it was wrong for Tana to be driving in the first place but you were ok with it since it benefitted you too. So you're both in this together the moment you went with her, and you assume the risk of being in a car with an inexperienced driver. - yes you were in the passenger seat, and Tana also put her drink up on the dashboard. However I think that even if it was only your drink that spilled, this would have shocked her and potentially result in the same crash, so you were at least partially responsible - soft because understandably this is a big deal event and a lot of money and your friends were probably not asking you for the money in a nice calm manner 😅 Yes, it sucks to pay such a high amount compared to what you make. But I hope you take this experience as a precaution for the future. Having an emergency fund will help with unexpected things like this that happen in life
ESH. For Someone with Just a learners permit, it is illegal to operate a vehicle without a licensed driver in the vehicle. I would imagine the insurance company is refusing to cover the cost. This may also keep her from obtaining her license. I hope you take drivers education.
Whoever drove the car needs to pay. That’s all.
Honestly, as a dad, YTA First, if I was Bee's father, I'd be absolutely furious. She let another person, who does not have her license, drive her car. Second, that unlicensed person was driving a car with another person as a passenger. Third, that unlicensed person got into an accident with a car that was not hers, that she wasn't paying insurance on, while giving a ride to a passenger. While Tana could drive, she hasn't proven it by getting her license. If I was her father, I'd be furious. If I was your father, I'd still be furious. What happened was incredibly stupid, unsafe and it did cause an accident. You all are lucky the only thing hurt was bank accounts and maybe some feelings and pride. The three of you acted like idiots, and now there are financial consequences. Especially for Bee and Tana. Bee or her parents now have to fix the car, and likely the person you hit's car. Tana was the driver and should be held liable as well. You being a passenger largely absolves you of any financial obligation, but it was your drink and Tana's that caused the accident, so you do have some blame here. Whether your blame includes financial recompense is debatable. Your actions contributed to the accident and as a father, I would tell my daughter the right thing is to help pay, at a reasonable rate. They want $400, you wanted $200, so split it in the middle and hand over $300. Not offer, give. You're a teenager, all of you are, and being a teenager means doing stupid things. I get it, I was one too and did my own stupid things. But sometimes those stupid things have big consequences. You three are lucky that the consequence is only $1300 and not a life ruined or ended.
This whole story sounds fake. Supposedly the insurance company was notified and yet there is no mention of an unlicensed driver driving and hitting another vehicle? This girl needs better friends because letting an unlicensed driver use your car is stupid even if it's supposedly just to buy you some gas.
Has Tanya been charged for operating a motor vehicle without a license? Where are all of your parents in all of this? The whole story just sounds wacky.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Let me start off by saying i(16f) am a minimum wage worker at Starbucks. So are my two friends in this story who i’ll call Bee(16f) and Tana(17f). Bee has her license and her own car, Tana has her learners but doesn’t have a car. I have neither since my mom lost my citizenship and i barely have any ID. Anyway, we all work at starbucks. Tana was hired by reference from me and Bee. Bee lets Tana drive her car around ever since she took it for a spin without Bees knowledge and filled up her tank. long story short, about 2-ish weeks ago me and Tana were waiting for Bee to get off her shift so we could go to the beach. While we were waiting wine and Tana went to go fill up Bees tank at the gas station Tana used to work at. Jokingly Tanas old co worker suggested she bring them all drinks from starbucks which we did. Me and Tana had also made 2 drinks for ourselves. While parked at the gas station we placed our drinks on the dashboard since the cupholders were occupied by Bees 2 water bottles. When we were leaving we had somehow forgotten that the drinks were up there, and during a turn the drinks had spilled all over the car. Tana panicked and hit a parked volkswagen. The lady we hit was understandably very mad. The payment for the car ended up being $1300 which Tana and Bee agreed to split since Tana was driving and Bee let her drive. Now today, they had suggested i split it with them since my drink also spilled. I argued that the drink Tana had would have spilled regardless if i was there or not and my drink didn’t make much difference. They said it was the “principle” of it and that i should do it because i’m their friend. I don’t feel $400 is fair for the amount i contributed. I would’ve felt 100-200 reasonable but 400 doesn’t seem reasonable.. i blocked them both after this argument because i’ve just had a rough day and can’t deal with this. But what should i do? am i the asshole for not wanting to pay 400? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA This is so ridiculous, you don’t owe them a single penny. You were not driving, you didn’t cause the accident. And you cleaned up the mess from the spilled drinks, which honestly was the fault of the driver too. Do not pay them anything. If they press the issue, get their parents involved, get your parents involved. Your so called friends are trying to steal from you.
You're not accountable for one penny. There isn't a solution more reasonable than zero. It's unreasonable to expect anything from you beyond cleaning up the mess from your drink. They don't want to pay either and are just manipulating you. Have you talked to your parents? There is no way I'd let my child be taken advantage of like they're trying to do to you. NTA at all
Check out what it would cost to get a car fully cleaned. Don't contribute any more than that. The driver is responsible for for ensuring it's safe to drive. NTA
Apart from the fact you as a passenger should have been the one to hold the tray of drinks while Tana was driving, you have nothing to do with the incident. You were not the driver or the car's owner. Do not pay or sign anything. And talk to your parents so they can help protect you. US children with cars... Bee's parents should have been very clear : no one else but Bee drive her car... and she does not lend it, especially to someone who's not yet licensed ! I hope this will be a lesson to you : do not lend your car and do not let anything distract you while driving (be it eating, drinking, music or whatever).
Nope nope nope. You were a passenger. It’s the drivers responsibility to make sure there is nothing distracting and the car is safe to drive. She should have looked for the drinks. This is what insurance is for, so you don’t get hit by a large bill. Don’t pay a cent.
NTA, it takes a really shitty or inexperienced driver to freak out about their own drink spilling and then proceeding to hit another car afterward. It takes another fool to let an unlicensed person drive their car
NTA, don't you dare give them a cent.
Don't give them a penny, they are at it.
Bee has a license at 16? Where are you based? I feel bad for Bee and the fact her insurance is about to hike massively. Though Bee shouldn’t have been a complete moron and let Tana drive her car. NTA, you shouldn’t have had to pay anything. You did the right thing in cleaning the interior of the car. That should have been enough.
Seems more like a case of your friends going under the "bitch" category, feeling it's their right to have other's pay for their shit, or their mistakes. To elaborate, there's girls/women, and then there's bitches. Oh them self-entitled bitches.. My apologies if I offend your friends, it's not every day you get a free pass to call out bitches and I took it. Only thing that's expected of you in that scenario is to help clean. It's her car, you don't co-own it, neither did you maneuver the car in any way. NTA.
Sounds like your *friends* are trying to have you pay the entire deductible.
NTA at all. The driver is 100% at fault whether it was your drink that spilled or not. It’s the drivers responsibility to make sure everybody is safe, check for hazards before setting off, and that they don’t crash into anything!?
NTA - Not your responsibility. And even if you wanted to help, I'd ask for the estimate so you know they aren't trying to just take money from you. Chances are insurance covered some of it.
You aren’t responsible and don’t pay them a damn dime. They’re being greedy and lazy for not owning up to their own mistakes. DO NOT give them the $400. You aren’t at fault because you weren’t driving!
NTA you weren't driving. You didn't cause her to over react and hit the woman's car. You aren't responsible for any part. Your friends are gaslighting, and using you
NTA. If an insurance claim has been filed…pay your portion of the deductible…nothing more. If your friends want additional money…find new friends.
It's always about "the principle" with these unprincipled bozos - second only to the "bUt fAMiLy" mooches in driving Reddit posts. OP wasn't driving, bozo was. Bozo screwed up, so it's her problem. NTA
NTA - None of this is your responsibility. It's the driver's responsibility to drive safely! I don't know why these girls insist you pay. Wasn't there insurance on the car?
I mean, If my car was crashed by someone, he would have to pay everything... i would not split the bill. I just don't understand why Bee has to pay something he wans't driving, and I don't understand why you have to pay something because you weren't driving either. NTA
NTA- You owe her a car cleaning, coffee is one of the worst smells and very hard to get off. Check what places around you charger and give her that.
Look, for the drink, I can understand wanting to pay up but paying for an accident that YOU didn’t cause is out right ridiculous. YOU weren’t the one behind the wheel. YOU weren’t at fault for what happened to the car. TANA was the one behind the wheel. That is between Bee and Tana. You don’t need to pay that much over something you didn’t cause. Tana shouldn’t even be behind the wheel unless someone of the age 25 and up is in the car. (Unless I’m wrong then please correct me or it’s a whole different state/country.) NTA.
For what you're asking, NTA of course. But I'm curious, how can a mother make you lose citizenship?
NTA Worry but you guys are silly for putting drinks on the dash but the driver is liable for panicking and hitting someone. The driver of the vehicle is responsible for the safe operation. Op should not have to pay anything.
Since Tana told you not to put the drinks there and you did anyway and since you started screaming at her, pulling on her arms, which caused the crash, yeah, you should pay. Oh, none of this happened? Then why should you pay? Tana is the responsible driver. None of this was your fault. She is lucky she did not injure you. I don’t think those are your friends. NTA.
I would be asking them for insurance details as you feel you might have lasting soft tissue damage from the accident.
No and why isn’t it covered by insurance
If her deductible was $700, it should have remained $700? Those things don’t increase based on the accident type, at least from my experience. It feels very suspicious to me that she’s asking for double what the deductible was - almost as if she’s trying to get you both to pay for all the expenses instead of split then with her.
NTA. The driver is responsible in this case not you. The extra costs may be related to the fact that it wasn't the owner behind the wheel, some insurances don't cover other drivers or cover less.
You’d be an idiot to pay them anything
None of you should be handling this. Your friend’s mom or dad should be talking to the insurance company. That’s it.
NTA. They are not your friends.
Nta. Also get your id sorted? That’s pretty important
If anything you should sue her insurance for damages.
I cant read this whole thing. But thats what insurance is for. Driver is responsible
Tbh it’s sounds like they are just trying to get money from you, I wouldn’t give them a cent and let the insurance company handle it
So deductibles are generally $250, $500 or $1000. You may want to talk to her parents about this as both amounts seem off unless they are paying for the cars damages out of pocket.
You owe exactly zero dollars and you’re NTA for not wanting to pay any more then that.
NTA. Are your friends high? You have no reason to pay for shit.
YTA If a passenger interferes with the driver, or distracts the driver, then causing an accident, the passenger bares some responsibility. (I’ve had passengers grab my arm, grab the steering wheel, burst a blown up bag behind me, and even jokingly block my eyes, in a guess-who game, while I was driving. Luckily no accident ever occurred, though nearly got rear ended from my slamming the bakes. ) As your negligently left drink, as well as your friend’s caused the accident, you are also to blame.
Sue them for burns from the coffee and a sore back
Water bottles have lids/caps. Put those on the floor. Use the cup holders for drinks that don’t have tops.
NTA. Don’t be spineless. I live in Houston where driving is like the Hunger Games or Mad Max. All the times I’ve had spilled drinks, kids spilling drinks, kids or the dog vomiting in the car while I’m driving. All of this while dodging asshole drivers, never had an accident.Fuck that, it’s a cash grab. Don’t pay a cent. If they can’t handle a spilled drink they should take the bus.
Why don’t you sue the driver of the car as a passenger, get the money for the case, and then use that money to pay your friends?
You don't owe anything.. but.. as far as I know, car insurance deductibles are in multiples of $250.. like $250, $500, $1000, $1500, $2000. not $700 or 1300. $100 deductible USED to exist, but it's long gone.
This isn’t even legal. Don’t let your so called friends swindle you.
nta but this should be a big lesson for you: 1) don’t hang out with these girls, they will make you take responsibility in their shenanigans. 2) please get your papers in order, it will cause you a lot less stress in the future (you’re young but you should get a hold of those, i’m a little concerned your mom lost your citizenship?). anyways 3) always just toss the water bottles OUT OF THE CUPHOLDERS THEY DONT NEED TO BE THERE THEY HAVE LIDS. always put opened drinks in the cup holders. i know they fit because i used to work at a bookstore that had a starbucks and used their cups all the time in my truck (which has unusually small cup holders idk if that’s just the model of my truck tho). anyways i don’t think you should have to pay your friends. Also the girl you’ve known since freshmen year is pretty weird. she stole your friends car and put gas in it and your other friend was cool with that? this is somewhat of an always sunny dynamic. I’m glad I’m not this young anymore.
You're being scammed.
NTA and your friends are being very scummy about this.
NTA. As a passenger, you don't owe a damn thing, and that doesn't make you a bad friend. They just don't want to take responsibility and have to pay everything out of their own pockets. Also, it's suspicious that the price basically doubled. Side note, it's totally okay to block people if they're overwhelming you. It's not like you can't unblock them later when you're ready to rejoin the conversation. Don't let them bully/manipulate you into thinking you're financially responsible in any way because legally you're not and if they don't like it maybe they're not as good of friends as you thought.
I'm saving this for the update🤣
NTA. You didn't interfere with the operation of the car. You are not obligated to pay
NTA but I wouldn’t be so bold to tell people you work for Starbucks. Did you like the side of g/enocide that came with your coffee. You don’t seem too bright. You’re letting your bffs screw you for feeling guilty over spilled milk but nothing about the added blood on Starbucks hands. (I’m not faulting you for needing pay in this but the facts remain the same. You work for Zionist you are aiding the g.enocide).
Iguess that's n expensive lesson to not put crap on the dashboard.... I mean water bottles? U move them away and put ur crap in the cup holders.
she hits a car because she panicked? What will she do in a highway where the risks are higher? She should pay in full, not even Bee and Tana should go back to driving school. NTA but both of them are for trying to make you pay
They're not your friends. Ghost them
NTA. It is up to the driver to make sure the car is safe to move. She should not have started the car with loose objects on the dash.
NTA, When insurance calls claim your neck hurts and get a settlement from her insurance company.
Please, don't let yourself go in their conversation... you don't owe them a single dime. Is is the driver responsability to make sure that everything is ok to proceed with the ride. They are trying to get money from you!
So many bad takes here from people who don’t know how liability or insurance work: First of all NTA. If you cleaned the car up you don’t own a cent. If I was Bee I would consider you partially responsible for the spill in that the driver’s hands are full and is reasonable to assume you would just hold them to avoid this whole mess. So yes you owe for *part* of that but you already cleaned it up so you’re good. Your obligations are done, Bee isn’t owed anything. Tanya as a co-tortfeasor should be grateful you are a good sport and cleaned up the mess. Tanya crashed the car because she was distracted by unsecured items in the vehicle. Fault for that is on her and Bee for being the moron who knowingly sent an unlicensed driver on errands (gas). If the other vehicles damage was <2k it probably wasn’t a huge accident but they are both idiots and they owe for the damage to both cars. You do not owe for this, had you and your drink not been there it wouldn’t change the accident one whit. OP you are not an asshole but you are an idiot. Stop getting into vehicles with unlicensed drivers, stop hanging out with people who would take someone’s car without permission (even if the first time all she did was fill it). Frankly they both seem like losers if they are making up random sums to ask you for ($700? $400? $1300? These are not typical deductible amounts). Don’t get sucked into the dysfunctional pace of these two. Figure out your legal paperwork situation and find a job where you can make friends worth your time.
Blame Bee for occupying the cup holders with her water bottles :) if they hadn't been there, you wouldn't have put your drinks there ;) You are 16, I think adults should talk here (parents). If the car is deemed totaled by the insurance company, what's the point? The passenger has no responsibility here unless you were actively doing something to distract the driver.
Nope, you do t owe them anything. They are lucky you didn’t file an injury claim for the accident with the car being driven by a person with a learners permit
You have nothing to do with the crash, as you were not driving and you did not distract the driver. I understand these are your friends but they are clearly trying to lighten the load on themselves by making you chip in for no valid reason.