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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel I could be the asshole because I went behind my Dad’s back and told my brother about the circus coming up even though our Dad didn’t want him to originally know about it or even for me to tell him about it.
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NTA. If your parents want to be prideful that's their choice not yours. I hope they see sense soon. Too many families get broken up over the dumbest things.
Every time I tell them this they say “we’re not going to beg! We worked too damn hard immigrating here and Kelly is using him!” Or some variation of that. I feel stuck like I want to honor their wishes but I don’t want to not spend time with my brother when I can.
"Dear mom and dad, Robert is a grown man with his own family. You don't know if she is actually using him or the decision of him being a sole provider was mutual and it benefits their family. And even if she IS using him, your duty as a parent is to support him, not judge him"
Or even better mom and dad,
Robert is a grown ass man and his marriage is none of your business ur business. You should be lucky that Kelly let’s you see her daughter after you called her a gold digger. If was rude and disrespectful. Honestly most woman do not want grandparents around their child that think it’s ok to call their mother names and talk disrespectful about them.
This is your own doing because you commented on matters that do not concern you. You need to keep your options out of other people’s marriages. Next time you interfere in matters that are non of your business may be worse instead of going lo contact with you and letting you see the grandchild at a distance you may be barred from seeing your son and grandchild at all. Honestly Kelly is a lot more forgiving then most.
I think some families get jealous of the spouse. It's like they can't handle that their relative has created an actual family with another person - someone they probably didn't pick and might not even like! For people who are more on the narcissistic side, they won't have that love and respect that might have otherwise motivated them to at least act polite!
So doing the math, your niece Cindy was born around 2020. Your SIL quit her job during COVID probably to care for their new born daughter and possibly to keep them all healthy if she was in a career where she would interact with many people throughout the day.
Your parents are the absolute assholes for saying your SIL was a gold digger in this situation. No wonder why your brother doesn’t want to spend time with the family. If you want to be close again, you should distance yourself from your parents rather than from your SIL, brother, and niece.
NTA for inviting your brother and niece to the circus but kind of the asshole for enabling your parents.
Yes, Cindy was born right at the end of February 2020. Right before lockdown. Kelly has a new job now that’s less stressful for her. She worked for United Airlines then and now works at a new administration position with a nearby university.
She worked for an airline?! Of course she left!!! It’s nuts for your parents to blame her for this. Why can’t your brother take care of and provide for his wife and child?
Please edit your post to add this vital information.
For the record I agree with the original commenter completely.
ETA: is there a classist or racist element involved in the way that your parents view Kelly? Or are they rabid MAGA-level COVID deniers?
And apparently have a tendency that to put their nose and options where they are not wanted or needed. They are lucky their son speaks to them at all and they still get to see the grandchild they had no problem with being put in danger due to her moms job.
NTA
Its good to spend time with people you love, including your brother and your niece.
But also, it's your brother's business how he spends his money. And financially supporting his wife and mother of his child earns him a gold star in my book. Consider dropping the grudge and making up with his wife.
NTA. But your parents are. Kelly had a newborn in the middle of a pandemic. Of course she quit her job. No one knew what was going to happen or exactly how contagious the virus was in 2020. Robert acted like a supportive and loving husband and your parents took issue with it. Anything that happened was additionally none of their business.
You have no reason to not get along with Kelly. What you need to do is apologize to her for anything you said or did that led her to believe that you agree with your parents and try to repair that relationship.
NTA This is a mess between Robert and your parents.
Your Parents: They may have had legit concerns about Kelly. But the apologies obviously weren’t sincere if they are still mad at Robert. If they’re so prideful that they are okay with never seeing Robert or Cindy again, then they should know that they may regret losing a son and grandchild when it’s too late.
Robert: why in the world would he repeat those words about gold digging to Kelly? He should’ve set your parents straight if he were truly defending his wife. Instead he put the blame and responsibility to respond on Kelly so is it any surprise she dislikes your family?
You’re just a person stuck in the middle.
They’ve told me more than once if they don’t see Cindy so be it, but I know they want to see her obviously by their comments when I visit asking if I’ve talked to Robert and seen Cindy.
I mean you’re not TA for inviting your brother and niece out but you are very much an AH for the way you talk about your SIL! You seem to almost approve of your parents’ reasoning!
Even before you edited in that she worked for an airline - so obviously there were going to be employment issues *during COVID* , it is very clear that she gave birth to your niece right in the thick of the pandemic.
So. Your pregnant SIL gave birth during a global pandemic, didn’t immediately go back to work *for an airline*, and your brother decided to pay off her outstanding loans and get her a car. To replace the broken car.
How does that make her a gold digger? You guys are completely wild! No wonder she doesn’t want to spend time with you.
Also you told your brother this and didn’t think he would tell his wife what you said about her? Come on OP.
On top of all that she’s back in the workforce now that your niece is school age. So it’s not even like your brother is the only income earner in the house.
I am just bewildered by the fact that your family were so gross about your SIL and still have the temerity to act like they’re the ones being insulted
That’s fair, I’ve even brought up some of your points to our parents with Robert beside me, but our parents don’t see it that way.
They’re the type of people who feel certain things should be done one way and don’t tend to look at the alternatives. It’s a mindset I don’t think will change at their age.
Sucks to be them then. Your brother would be absolutely correct to keep his child from people who badmouth and insult the child's mother, family or not.
Frankly you should count yourself lucky that he has forgiven you for badmouthing his wife when your parents did and allows you around his child.
Sucks to be them when they grow old all alone. I hope op and her parents don’t expect her brother to care for them as they get older.
They made thier bed they can lie in it.
NTA. Your parents need to understand that Robert is an adult and can do what he wants with his money, and it is none of their business. If they want to throw away a relationship with their son and granddaughter that is their lose. They need to grow the Hell up.
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I (31F) enjoy any chance I can get to spend with my brother Robert (35M) and my niece Cindy (4F). With it being summer, the circus has come to the area and it’s a good chance for the whole family to enjoy a day out.
I will say, we don’t get along with Robert’s wife Kelly (34F). This stems from the fact that during COVID, she quit her job and my brother decided to pay all her prior school loans, debts, and bought her a new car as her old one kept breaking down. Our parents (64F and 65M) immigrated to America and saw Kelly’s behavior as being a gold-digger and using Robert for his money when they worked their way up in their career fields respectively. When we told Robert this, he told Kelly and needless to say, our relationship has been strained since then even with apologies and trying to move forward. This is Kelly’s right, and so we only really see her at holidays and sometimes birthdays.
The problem lies in that our parents are still somewhat strained with Robert as well. I consider them to be the very prideful “we don’t want to beg to see him and Cindy” type of ppl. Because of this, they don’t always like me talking to Robert or believe there’s no reason to really talk to him since he spends 80-90% of time with Kelly’s side of the family and usually makes no effort to see us unless it’s a special occasion. I know Kelly is his wife and it makes sense to spend time with them. I just miss how close we were and I don’t want to further distance myself the way our parents have.
We all will be in town this weekend and Dad mentioned buying tickets for the circus. Originally, he told me he would just buy 3 tickets for himself, Mom, and I but I overheard Mom say when I visited earlier in the month she would like Cindy to come just to see the event, but wouldn’t ask Robert as he is dictated by Kelly and her family.
Robert FaceTimed me back on Friday with Cindy and after catching up, I decided to ask if he was free next weekend for the circus. He said he would check his calendar and later texted me he and Cindy could come.
I told Dad today while visiting Robert is free to come to the circus too with Cindy. Though he hasn’t bought the tickets yet, he gave me this glare/frown and asked why I told Robert in the first place. I said I brought up when he FaceTimed me. He dropped it after that and I went back home.
I feel like a bit of an asshole for going behind Dad, but I don’t want to purposely keep things from my brother just because we don’t really get along with his wife.
AITA?
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NTA
It’s great that you’re rising above the bullshit for the sake of your family. What your brother chooses to do with his hard earned money is HIS choice and it’s common sense that if you trash talk someone’s wife they won’t like you very much ;)
Doing the math, your SIL quit her job during covid to look after her newborn....and she was called a gold digger? No wonder your brother wants little to do with your family. How absolutely nasty, they showed their true colours and found out that talking shit about people has consequences. They cannot expect to be catered to by their son after absolutely disrespecting not only his wife but himself as well and this obviously would not have been the first time.
I mean, you’re KIND of the asshole for letting this go on as long as you have. Robert and his family made a completely legitimate choice, and your parents are being unreasonably nutty, and it seems like you’ve not told them that.
Yeah I agree with that. Any time I’ve started to try and tell them to see from Robert’s point of over it gets shutdown with their same complaints so I haven’t really wanted to try and bring up the subject again.
Is your dad buying the tickets to go? If so then YTA. It doesn't matter what your feelings are. If you're not the one buying the tickets you don't get to invite extra people family or not.
Since the tickets haven't been bought yet I would suggest maybe offering to buy your brother and niece's tickets. That way your parents can't get pissy over it. If they do you can always tell them that they didn't pay for them so they have no say.
I don't know why you keep saying "we" don't get along with Kelly. It seems to me that you're still pretty enmeshed with your parents. Your brother seems to know who he is. He is willing to stand up for what he believes and not be controlled by your parents' toxic behavior.
I get the sense that you're going to have some choices to make as you go through life. You obviously love your parents, but will you continue to kind of enable and go along with their extremely dysfunctional behaviors and views? Or will you break away and find a way to still love them but probably with a lot more distance than you have now. (If not physical distance, then at least emotional.) Will you be willing to stand up for your own spouse when you're on the receiving end of this kind of emotional abuse? It remains to be seen, but I wish you the best.
YTA
Your parents don't talk to Robert. They invited you to the circus and you decided to invite Robert and Cindy behind their back. You don't invite someone to an event without asking the people who invited you. Especially someone they actively don't speak to.
And, if I understand correctly, Cindy was on the call when you asked about the circus? You don't ask about a fun event with a 4 year old there without clearing it with the parents first.
And, your whole family sucks for treating Kelly like a gold digger. She worked. (You say for an airline...did she travel). Then she got pregnant and had a baby at the start of Covid. So, AS A FAMILY, they decided she would stay at home with the baby, instead of.....sending the kid to daycare at the start of covid.....when airline travel was significantly down and she'd possibly out of work anyway...and, if not, constantly exposed to people who were traveling?
That’s fair. I should clarify my parents DO talk to Robert, they just believe he should be the one to reach out as the son, not necessarily them as the parents. They usually text and talk on occasion, just not as much as before.
Doesn’t make it right, I would like things to be better, but it’s stagnated now and I don’t want to push Kelly if she doesn’t want to attend.
You said "we" don't like Kelly. Did you dislike Kelly in the years before marriage/2020? Or just because she quit her job at an airline, while having a newborn at the start of Covid?
But the main point is that your dad invited you to thr circus. You invited Robert without clearing it with your dad. My family is very close. I see my parents and brothers all the time. I still clear it with my parents before mentioning certain events to my brothers.
No none of us met Kelly officially until around 2016-2017. I’ve never had any issues with her more feeling stuck in the middle between Robert and our parents wants.
And true, I should’ve, it’s something to keep in mind for any future outings.
2017 is 3 years before 2020. When she was working. Did your parents have issues with her from 2017-2019?
Do you make effort to see them as a family now...or just completely ignore Kelly because you care what your parents think?
But yes, you don't invite people to events planned by other people. And you don't invite 4 year olds without explicitly talking to the parents. I have a 4 year old....I definitely wouldn't bring her places without clearing it with the people. I know it's it's circus and there will be kids there....but if your Dad actually wanted to see the circus, and only invited adults, he might not want to be distracted by a 4 year old when watching.
That is not what your post says you refer to you and your parents telling Robert Kelly is a gold digger, that's not something you say about someone "I’ve never had any issues with".
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel I could be the asshole because I went behind my Dad’s back and told my brother about the circus coming up even though our Dad didn’t want him to originally know about it or even for me to tell him about it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. If your parents want to be prideful that's their choice not yours. I hope they see sense soon. Too many families get broken up over the dumbest things.
Every time I tell them this they say “we’re not going to beg! We worked too damn hard immigrating here and Kelly is using him!” Or some variation of that. I feel stuck like I want to honor their wishes but I don’t want to not spend time with my brother when I can.
"Dear mom and dad, Robert is a grown man with his own family. You don't know if she is actually using him or the decision of him being a sole provider was mutual and it benefits their family. And even if she IS using him, your duty as a parent is to support him, not judge him"
Or even better mom and dad, Robert is a grown ass man and his marriage is none of your business ur business. You should be lucky that Kelly let’s you see her daughter after you called her a gold digger. If was rude and disrespectful. Honestly most woman do not want grandparents around their child that think it’s ok to call their mother names and talk disrespectful about them. This is your own doing because you commented on matters that do not concern you. You need to keep your options out of other people’s marriages. Next time you interfere in matters that are non of your business may be worse instead of going lo contact with you and letting you see the grandchild at a distance you may be barred from seeing your son and grandchild at all. Honestly Kelly is a lot more forgiving then most.
I think some families get jealous of the spouse. It's like they can't handle that their relative has created an actual family with another person - someone they probably didn't pick and might not even like! For people who are more on the narcissistic side, they won't have that love and respect that might have otherwise motivated them to at least act polite!
That is so true. Some parents just can't let go and it's very sad.
So doing the math, your niece Cindy was born around 2020. Your SIL quit her job during COVID probably to care for their new born daughter and possibly to keep them all healthy if she was in a career where she would interact with many people throughout the day. Your parents are the absolute assholes for saying your SIL was a gold digger in this situation. No wonder why your brother doesn’t want to spend time with the family. If you want to be close again, you should distance yourself from your parents rather than from your SIL, brother, and niece. NTA for inviting your brother and niece to the circus but kind of the asshole for enabling your parents.
Yes, Cindy was born right at the end of February 2020. Right before lockdown. Kelly has a new job now that’s less stressful for her. She worked for United Airlines then and now works at a new administration position with a nearby university.
She worked for an airline?! Of course she left!!! It’s nuts for your parents to blame her for this. Why can’t your brother take care of and provide for his wife and child?
Please edit your post to add this vital information. For the record I agree with the original commenter completely. ETA: is there a classist or racist element involved in the way that your parents view Kelly? Or are they rabid MAGA-level COVID deniers?
No we’re all the same race being black, but my parents are originally from Ethiopia. We’re all educated.
And apparently have a tendency that to put their nose and options where they are not wanted or needed. They are lucky their son speaks to them at all and they still get to see the grandchild they had no problem with being put in danger due to her moms job.
NTA Its good to spend time with people you love, including your brother and your niece. But also, it's your brother's business how he spends his money. And financially supporting his wife and mother of his child earns him a gold star in my book. Consider dropping the grudge and making up with his wife.
NTA. But your parents are. Kelly had a newborn in the middle of a pandemic. Of course she quit her job. No one knew what was going to happen or exactly how contagious the virus was in 2020. Robert acted like a supportive and loving husband and your parents took issue with it. Anything that happened was additionally none of their business. You have no reason to not get along with Kelly. What you need to do is apologize to her for anything you said or did that led her to believe that you agree with your parents and try to repair that relationship.
NTA This is a mess between Robert and your parents. Your Parents: They may have had legit concerns about Kelly. But the apologies obviously weren’t sincere if they are still mad at Robert. If they’re so prideful that they are okay with never seeing Robert or Cindy again, then they should know that they may regret losing a son and grandchild when it’s too late. Robert: why in the world would he repeat those words about gold digging to Kelly? He should’ve set your parents straight if he were truly defending his wife. Instead he put the blame and responsibility to respond on Kelly so is it any surprise she dislikes your family? You’re just a person stuck in the middle.
They’ve told me more than once if they don’t see Cindy so be it, but I know they want to see her obviously by their comments when I visit asking if I’ve talked to Robert and seen Cindy.
THIS
NTA. I think the issue here is your dad's pride, or ego, or something. I can't say for sure, I'm not a shrink, and I have never played one on TV.
I have never played one on tv..... Thank you for that lovely reference
I mean you’re not TA for inviting your brother and niece out but you are very much an AH for the way you talk about your SIL! You seem to almost approve of your parents’ reasoning! Even before you edited in that she worked for an airline - so obviously there were going to be employment issues *during COVID* , it is very clear that she gave birth to your niece right in the thick of the pandemic. So. Your pregnant SIL gave birth during a global pandemic, didn’t immediately go back to work *for an airline*, and your brother decided to pay off her outstanding loans and get her a car. To replace the broken car. How does that make her a gold digger? You guys are completely wild! No wonder she doesn’t want to spend time with you. Also you told your brother this and didn’t think he would tell his wife what you said about her? Come on OP. On top of all that she’s back in the workforce now that your niece is school age. So it’s not even like your brother is the only income earner in the house. I am just bewildered by the fact that your family were so gross about your SIL and still have the temerity to act like they’re the ones being insulted
That’s fair, I’ve even brought up some of your points to our parents with Robert beside me, but our parents don’t see it that way. They’re the type of people who feel certain things should be done one way and don’t tend to look at the alternatives. It’s a mindset I don’t think will change at their age.
Sucks to be them then. Your brother would be absolutely correct to keep his child from people who badmouth and insult the child's mother, family or not. Frankly you should count yourself lucky that he has forgiven you for badmouthing his wife when your parents did and allows you around his child.
Sucks to be them when they grow old all alone. I hope op and her parents don’t expect her brother to care for them as they get older. They made thier bed they can lie in it.
Everything about Kelly aside, she's absolutely an AH for inviting people to an event Dad is planning without clearing it with Dad.
NTA. Your parents need to understand that Robert is an adult and can do what he wants with his money, and it is none of their business. If they want to throw away a relationship with their son and granddaughter that is their lose. They need to grow the Hell up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (31F) enjoy any chance I can get to spend with my brother Robert (35M) and my niece Cindy (4F). With it being summer, the circus has come to the area and it’s a good chance for the whole family to enjoy a day out. I will say, we don’t get along with Robert’s wife Kelly (34F). This stems from the fact that during COVID, she quit her job and my brother decided to pay all her prior school loans, debts, and bought her a new car as her old one kept breaking down. Our parents (64F and 65M) immigrated to America and saw Kelly’s behavior as being a gold-digger and using Robert for his money when they worked their way up in their career fields respectively. When we told Robert this, he told Kelly and needless to say, our relationship has been strained since then even with apologies and trying to move forward. This is Kelly’s right, and so we only really see her at holidays and sometimes birthdays. The problem lies in that our parents are still somewhat strained with Robert as well. I consider them to be the very prideful “we don’t want to beg to see him and Cindy” type of ppl. Because of this, they don’t always like me talking to Robert or believe there’s no reason to really talk to him since he spends 80-90% of time with Kelly’s side of the family and usually makes no effort to see us unless it’s a special occasion. I know Kelly is his wife and it makes sense to spend time with them. I just miss how close we were and I don’t want to further distance myself the way our parents have. We all will be in town this weekend and Dad mentioned buying tickets for the circus. Originally, he told me he would just buy 3 tickets for himself, Mom, and I but I overheard Mom say when I visited earlier in the month she would like Cindy to come just to see the event, but wouldn’t ask Robert as he is dictated by Kelly and her family. Robert FaceTimed me back on Friday with Cindy and after catching up, I decided to ask if he was free next weekend for the circus. He said he would check his calendar and later texted me he and Cindy could come. I told Dad today while visiting Robert is free to come to the circus too with Cindy. Though he hasn’t bought the tickets yet, he gave me this glare/frown and asked why I told Robert in the first place. I said I brought up when he FaceTimed me. He dropped it after that and I went back home. I feel like a bit of an asshole for going behind Dad, but I don’t want to purposely keep things from my brother just because we don’t really get along with his wife. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, you are free to talk with your brother whenever you like, and your mom had already said that she would like your neice to go.
NTA It’s great that you’re rising above the bullshit for the sake of your family. What your brother chooses to do with his hard earned money is HIS choice and it’s common sense that if you trash talk someone’s wife they won’t like you very much ;)
Doing the math, your SIL quit her job during covid to look after her newborn....and she was called a gold digger? No wonder your brother wants little to do with your family. How absolutely nasty, they showed their true colours and found out that talking shit about people has consequences. They cannot expect to be catered to by their son after absolutely disrespecting not only his wife but himself as well and this obviously would not have been the first time.
I mean, you’re KIND of the asshole for letting this go on as long as you have. Robert and his family made a completely legitimate choice, and your parents are being unreasonably nutty, and it seems like you’ve not told them that.
Yeah I agree with that. Any time I’ve started to try and tell them to see from Robert’s point of over it gets shutdown with their same complaints so I haven’t really wanted to try and bring up the subject again.
Is your dad buying the tickets to go? If so then YTA. It doesn't matter what your feelings are. If you're not the one buying the tickets you don't get to invite extra people family or not.
That’s fair. He hasn’t bought them yet, he just threw the idea out but hadn’t fully committed to it yet.
Since the tickets haven't been bought yet I would suggest maybe offering to buy your brother and niece's tickets. That way your parents can't get pissy over it. If they do you can always tell them that they didn't pay for them so they have no say.
That’s a good idea! I can probably calm some of my Dad’s earlier annoyance if I go with this plan. Happy cake day too!
I don't know why you keep saying "we" don't get along with Kelly. It seems to me that you're still pretty enmeshed with your parents. Your brother seems to know who he is. He is willing to stand up for what he believes and not be controlled by your parents' toxic behavior. I get the sense that you're going to have some choices to make as you go through life. You obviously love your parents, but will you continue to kind of enable and go along with their extremely dysfunctional behaviors and views? Or will you break away and find a way to still love them but probably with a lot more distance than you have now. (If not physical distance, then at least emotional.) Will you be willing to stand up for your own spouse when you're on the receiving end of this kind of emotional abuse? It remains to be seen, but I wish you the best.
YTA Your parents don't talk to Robert. They invited you to the circus and you decided to invite Robert and Cindy behind their back. You don't invite someone to an event without asking the people who invited you. Especially someone they actively don't speak to. And, if I understand correctly, Cindy was on the call when you asked about the circus? You don't ask about a fun event with a 4 year old there without clearing it with the parents first. And, your whole family sucks for treating Kelly like a gold digger. She worked. (You say for an airline...did she travel). Then she got pregnant and had a baby at the start of Covid. So, AS A FAMILY, they decided she would stay at home with the baby, instead of.....sending the kid to daycare at the start of covid.....when airline travel was significantly down and she'd possibly out of work anyway...and, if not, constantly exposed to people who were traveling?
That’s fair. I should clarify my parents DO talk to Robert, they just believe he should be the one to reach out as the son, not necessarily them as the parents. They usually text and talk on occasion, just not as much as before. Doesn’t make it right, I would like things to be better, but it’s stagnated now and I don’t want to push Kelly if she doesn’t want to attend.
You said "we" don't like Kelly. Did you dislike Kelly in the years before marriage/2020? Or just because she quit her job at an airline, while having a newborn at the start of Covid? But the main point is that your dad invited you to thr circus. You invited Robert without clearing it with your dad. My family is very close. I see my parents and brothers all the time. I still clear it with my parents before mentioning certain events to my brothers.
No none of us met Kelly officially until around 2016-2017. I’ve never had any issues with her more feeling stuck in the middle between Robert and our parents wants. And true, I should’ve, it’s something to keep in mind for any future outings.
2017 is 3 years before 2020. When she was working. Did your parents have issues with her from 2017-2019? Do you make effort to see them as a family now...or just completely ignore Kelly because you care what your parents think? But yes, you don't invite people to events planned by other people. And you don't invite 4 year olds without explicitly talking to the parents. I have a 4 year old....I definitely wouldn't bring her places without clearing it with the people. I know it's it's circus and there will be kids there....but if your Dad actually wanted to see the circus, and only invited adults, he might not want to be distracted by a 4 year old when watching.
That is not what your post says you refer to you and your parents telling Robert Kelly is a gold digger, that's not something you say about someone "I’ve never had any issues with".