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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m being judged for telling my loved one that I was allergic to nuts but at the time actually wasn’t allergic to nuts. I e been told this makes me the asshole because it was a lie.
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YTA for lying. Allergies are serious, not something to pretend about.
But it sounds like you actually are allergic to peanuts. You should see an allergist and get testing to confirm that. FYI, peanuts are technically legumes, and being allergic to peanuts doesn't necessarily mean you'll be allergic to other nuts. An allergist can help you determine exactly what you're allergic to.
That will help with your wife, because you can't lie about objective medical test results.
I would be pissed at you too if I were her. Lying about something this serious is really shitty. And as someone with an anaphylactic food allergy myself, I find it infuriating. People who lie like you did are the reason we don't get believed about real, very serious food allergies.
I did once say I was intolerant of peanuts which is technically true since fuck those nasty ass pieces of shit. But I made it clear I wouldn't be in danger from exposure.
I mean, milk, eggs, and wheat are also deadly to a percentage of the population. I'm not sure that people without allergies need to avoid all things that are common allergens.
But it is people like OP that cause the doubt that people of questionable morals use as their excuse to "test". Same as people who cry "service animal" so that there little, untrained poop-machines can mess up my dining/flying/shopping experience are F-ing over people who have legitimate service animals.
I mean... Is that really a problem though?
Do we really need to test if someone is allergic to something or not, even if we don't believe them? Can we really blame OP for people just not accepting that you can't give peanuts to someone?
I think is safe to say we can just assume every allergy someone tells us is real, and then just leave it at that. It literally doesn't matter if they are lying or not.
Kinda does though, because when someone says they have an allergy but they don't, they can either:
- Inconvenience a lot of people by having to keep up the lie in restaurants etc, where they will (hopefully) put in the effort to avoid cross-contamination, or
- Not keep up the lie and not care about cross contamination, because who wants to bother with that if they can avoid it?
Some people are extremely inconsistent with their avoidance of allergens. For example, there was (is?) a big trend for avoiding gluten, and a lot of people were going into restaurants and saying they were allergic to gluten... but then ordering things with gluten in anyway. So restaurants started to take gluten allergy less seriously, and not bother about cross contamination, which really screws things up for people with celiac.
It's also just a shitty thing to make people around you worry that you're gonna die from accidentally inhaling some peanut dust or something.
lots of people lie about lots of things but if you're going to try and trick someone into eating nuts because someone else lied about being allergic to nuts, you are a massive ah
My coworker claims to be allergic to anything that looks like a bee. She’s admitted to me that it’s a lie, but she says it because she just doesn’t like them. She also says that she’s been bitten by centipedes twice and that if she’s bitten a third time, by any type of centipede, it will be fatal. Idk what the fuck she’s ever talking about lol.
Who the fuck lies about being allergic to nuts?!? Out of everything to lie about you chose a nut allergy, the reason you gave is insufficient and screams pathological liar, in my opinion at least. This is absolutely mind bogglingly stupid. YTA on that fact alone.
I mean i would lie to strangers or aquanintaces because people are often non-understanding and persuasive about food preferances
But i would surely never lie it to a friend, family member or any special person in my life
But what about restaurants? They have a whole procedure for allergies, with special food kept completely separately. If you tell them you're allergic, you're creating a massive problem for them. But if you just say you don't like it, they might be able to just leave the ingredient out.
I keep asking to have mushrooms and cilantro left out of dishes—sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. To be fair, I don’t lie about being allergic to these things. Eating something that tastes disgustingly like soap won’t kill me.
Cilantro taste like soap to me. And I hate Avocado’s, I wouldn’t dream of telling people I was allergic to the items. I just ask for things without it. .
But lying to anyone about allergies often causes people to stop believing in allergies and test those who are deathly allergic with tragic results.
Even with Epipens available and used people die.
Seriously, grow a back bone about saying no to foods you don't like.
Hmm i agree with you. To clarify tho, i haven't ever gotten in a situation where i have to lie about it. But i have clearly met people who are a little excessive on you if you say you dont like a food or not. And i am not really the person who would appease to them, i would just say no continuously. I just thought in mind that i can lie to an aquantince like this if i need to stay in contact with them without being disrespectful, but yeah i can see now where i was wrong with that mentality. Thanks for telling!
Fun fact there are always people who will argue/be pushy about food dislikes and even allergies. You need a backbone. No is a sentence.
Try living with allergies. While I won't die, exposure to citric acid can cause me to develop weeping blisters on my face and my vagina. If you argue with me about my allergy which has happened. I will tell you in graphic detail about not being able to walk because any friction opened the blisters further and felt like acid was eating my vagina. I limited fluids, putting my kidneys at risk, because urination aggravated the blisters.
Not only that, he was lying for years. How hard would it have been after his relationship got serious to mention “Hey, I only tell people I don’t know well that I’m allergic to nuts because I really hate them” at any point before this?
He had to lie hard for years. Imagine everytime they ate out for dinner or went to an event like a wedding… He had to lie elaborately to keep it up. Such a weird thing to do.
But OP actually is allergic to nuts. He probably hated them because they made him feel bad. The only thing he did wrong is not putting 2+2 together and realizing that the bad feeling was actually allergy symptoms.
And nut allergies can be really serious, so it's one allergy you really shouldn't lie about.
I had a friend in college that lied and said she was allergic to tomatoes, but she really just didn't like them. The only thing was, we were all in on the lie, so we didn't really think anything of it. She only put it down so that when there were events, they ordered some other than just pizza.
Why is that the ONE you shouldn't lie about? Shouldn't you just not lie at all? Is there a measurable karmic difference in lying about peanuts vs almonds?
Why is your pizza lie okay, but peanut lies are offensive?
Whoa, there is no need to be so incredibly harsh and fly off the handle, and you misunderstood my post if you're coming this hard.
Nut allergies can be very serious, and in this specific case, no one knew he wasn't actually allergic to nuts (or at least he wasn't at the beginning). In OP's case, he had something swatted out of his hand because someone thought that his allergy was real and it caused problems. Later on it ended up OP was allergic, and it was rough finding out he originally lied. And I was meaning that nut allergies in general (I actually didn't specify peanuts in my post), are not ones to lie about, because they often end up being severe at times.
As for my friend, we all knew that she was not really allergic to tomatoes (not pizza), so we knew if she did consume something with tomatoes, she wouldn't have an allergic reaction. The difference between the two scenarios were that we were aware that she wasn't actually allergic and just didn't care for them, whereas people didn't initially know OP wasn't originally allergic to nuts.
The person who seemed to take offense to my college friend's lie about the tomato allergy. The response seemed kind of harsh and a bit over the top. My reply to that person's post got down-voted, which is fine, but I just didn't particularly care for the response.
As I said, I just read the words as being more forceful than you did. Also, I felt as if the person responding didn't fully read what I said. The response to me in capital letters was why is that the ONE allergy you shouldn't lie about, when I actually said that nut allergies can be really serious and it's one allergy you shouldn't lie about; meaning that because nut allergies are serious, you really shouldn't lie about them, not that it is the only allergy you shouldn't lie about.
Also, in the story about tomatoes, we knew that she just didn't care for them and that she wouldn't have a reaction if she ate them. With OP, no one knew that his allergy wasn't real (or at least it wasn't at the beginning), so people had been super careful.
I just felt that asking me four very pointed questions was a bit much, especially when it seemed like the person I was responding to didn't read my post clearly.
Then again, it's the internet, so it's always difficult to determine tone, so what I took as harsh you viewed as asking questions.
And you missed what I said. I wasn't forceful. All kinds of allergies are serious and kill people regularly. You keep acting like I didn't read it. I did, it's just silly to act like one is too serious to lie about but others aren't. That's completely illogical to discount the severity of other allergies because you've perceived nut allergies as more serious for some reason. I'm clearly telling you that it's silly, but I'm not being harsh about it at all. Being sensitive on the internet is a poorly thought out plan.
I'm not saying that other allergies aren't serious and am not discounting other allergies at all... I guess I just used a bad example. What I was trying to explain was that in my friend's case, we knew that her "allergy" was just because she didn't care for tomatoes, but in OP's case, no one knew that his allergy was originally him just disliking nuts and not a true allergy. And as I said in another comment, tone can be misconstrued on the internet, so it's not about being sensitive, it's about your tone coming across in a different way to me than it may have to someone else.
I have a child who could die from eating peanuts. He is also allergic to tree nuts (coconut is a tree nut BTW). By lying about your allergy you have contributed to the problem where people don’t take allergies seriously. One of the dumbest things I’ve ever been asked was exactly how much could the kiddo eat before a reaction began? My answer was I’m not sure & I don’t have plans to risk his life to find out.
I hate to say that karma came knocking, but maybe it did. Your wife has every right to be angry, though there are allergies that re life threatening and those that aren’t. I have an oral allergy to bananas, walnuts, and pecans.
Please get checked out by an allergist, not your family Dr or whatnot. Go to someone trained in the field.
To add more - oral allergy syndrome can also include cantaloupe and avocado amongst others.
But yeah, I despise when people lump every preference and mild intolerance into the allergy category. My MIL does that. So then when she eats it and doesn’t visibly react, it makes it harder on everyone else. The people trying hard to accommodate and the people who do have serious allergies (like my oldest used to; I’m familiar with the questions). Just say “No X please. They upset my stomach.” or whatever. I have an oral reaction to walnuts, so I just don’t order food with them. If I forget, I’ll pick them off.
OP should have just told his wife “I can’t stand nuts. I won’t eat them.” and trusted his wife would be respectful enough to not serve him nuts then.
It's especially rude when people do it to servers. I've seen people lie about having an allergy because they just didn't want their order messed up. It's kind of fucked up.
Oh totally, I can’t do walnuts or pecans, or banana. It’s weird to tell people banana make me ill. Sores in my mouth, itchy tongue, and usually a migraine.
People definitely get confused by food restrictions that aren’t mainstream. My ex has OAS. Banana (especially if it was underripe), cantaloupe and underripe avocado. We’re in Texas so the avocado was the weird one. He basically just only ate guacamole away from him since it requires them be fully ripe instead of bothering to explain anything.
He also has the egg equivalent of lactose intolerance which is hard to explain because it doesn’t prevent eating them, just requires them be cooked very well done. Breakfast tacos are widely available and he likes them so it came up more than the OAS.
Coconut is not a tree nut. It is a drupe. The FDA classifies it as one for labeling purposes but it is not a tree nut and most people allergic to tree nuts can have coconut.
Cool, you can google. First thing that came up was what you said, almost verbatim. I’m simply going from the information given to me over the last almost 30 years and countless doctors, specialists, and allergy testing.
I will concede that it isn’t a true nut. However the FDA doesn’t just call it one for labeling purposes. People are allergic to all sorts of things, yet only nine foods must be clearly labeled as an actual ingredient or that the item may contain or may have come into contact with it. Peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, shellfish, sesame seed, fish, soybean, egg, and wheat are the nine most common foods that people in the US are allergic to.
YTA
Absolutely. You have no idea the effort people go to and the considerations made to maintain a safe environment for people with a nut allergy.
I’m assuming this is not real, because obviously most would have shut the whole thing down upon witnessing the effects for the first family Christmas or meal at a friend’s place as they all went to the effort required to accommodate your health needs. But if it is real, you are absolutely an arse.
YTA. You don't lie about things like allergies so that you know people are serious when they say they're allergic!
Also, having a nut allergy and having a peanut allergy aren't the same thing, seeing as *peanuts aren't nuts*.
YTA- I have very sensitive Celiac Disease (No Gluten Disease) and sometimes at a restaurant it can be easier to say that I'm allergic to gluten than to explain what Celiac is to someone who has never heard of it (also sometimes places won't take cross contamination procedures serioulsy unless you break put the A word)- even then I feel so incredibly guilty for lying about it technically! I can't imagine lying about an allergy just because I don't like a food
As a person with an anaphylactic food allergy, I want to reassure you that in your case, saying you have an allergy is A-okay. Do whatever it takes to get restaurants to actually take precautions to keep you safe. I know how hard it is to dine out with a very severe food restriction.
You're are not exactly laying. Yes, celiac and gluten allergy are different things but the the essence is that you can't eat gluten because you'll have health problems if you eat it. Being celiac you will not get anaphylaxis but most people doesn't get it after little contact with allergen. But rest of allergies reactions are similar to celiac reactions
I’m more focused on you lying about being allergic to nuts but then it actually being true. I don’t know why but I thought this post was fucking funny.
I’m just saying that I laughed reading the story, not because I was making fun of him… but because it had comedic value. There are definitely many reasons we dislike things.
Him not liking them may be in part his body's way of protecting him from that allergy. If he had a mild allergic reaction early on to a food, he would realize that he didn't like what that food did to him without being able to fully understand why, so he just learned that nuts=bad
YTA.
The reason that you are an asshole is that protecting someone with allergies is a lot of work. I mean allergies are a serious problem and you need to be paranoid to protect the people who have them. If you just don't like nuts, that's fine, but it doesn't require the same vigilance as an allergy.
So yes, you are an asshole for that lie. And what's more, you don't even seem to realize that you imposed a cost on other people. So an asshole again.
I mean, yeah, YTA. Your entire story here is an object lesson about why lying about nuts is a shitty thing to do.
1. You make other people anxious and take steps on your behalf that are not necessary.
2. You make other people believe that nut allergies aren't real, when they are.
I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed to bundle both of those consequences into a single person.
Has she had to adapt her life for supposed nut allergy? I can imagine that she’s not been able to have nut products in the house, had to discuss this with restaurants and family/friends who have cooked you food. It would’ve impacted her as well. So yeh, YTA for lying. You don’t like a certain food, such is life. I hate mushrooms, I tell people when they’re on offer and it is left at that.
If you are allergic to nuts, then I imagine you have tempted fate and need to get tested.
I mean, of course lying to people about life-and-death situations is an AH-ish thing to do. And of course, once you do that, they'll be skeptical if you try to make the same claim again, even if it is legitimately true this time.
So, of course, YTA for the lie, and you are experiencing the natural consequences of that lie now.
So I guess my real question is why did you need to post this? Who is telling you that you weren't an AH for the lie?
Because if you are posting this because you think your wife is being unfair for not automatically believing you now (and therefore insisting on the allergy testing), then that is really deserving of a second Y. T. A. judgement
You might have disliked them on a less than conscious level because they were making you sick. Anyway, you’ve been a bit of an AH but just go to an allergist already and then tell the truth after that, whatever it is!
So get tested. Find out what specifically you were allergic to - you've no idea if uts the peanut butter, and if so whether it was the peanuts in it or something else. All you know is hat something gave you a rash. You can't have your wife take care with your food without knowing *what* that is. You don't know its nuts, you just want it to be nuts because you think that would be the most convenient to deal with.
Seriously, this is a non issue, you're just presumptuous. Just get tested.
He didnt, he told her the same year they started dating. Hes only posting this since he did end having a reaction recentlly. Gonna guess he had a bad reaction as a kid and just thought 'oh i dont like this'. Had a friend who kept saying he really didnt like pineapple cause it burned his mouth, yeah he was allergic, and was 25 when he found out. Plus some allergies can get worse the more you eat them.
And noone is considering that you "really didn't like them" because you have always been allergic to them? And maybe always felt you should stay away from them, even though you were never clinically tested when you were a kid?
Right, I don't get the antipathy toward OP for hating spicy bananas and throwing out the word "allergy." Sometimes our instincts know something before our cerebrum understands why.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lookit you fuckin ✨️manifesting✨️ a peanut allergy that's hilarious
Uhhhh NAH? People are so goddamn weird about people not liking common foods. You are not the first or last person I've encountered who has made up an allergy in an attempt to make people leave them tf alone about their food preferences. (Alas, it doesn't work against those psychos who try to feed people their allergens to prove allergies aren't real.)
WILD to me that your wife is still bitter about a white lie you told *does math* seventeen years ago, though.
Bodies are weird and sometimes decide you're allergic to something now. My immune system just decided last fall that raw bell peppers are the enemy. C'est la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Personally, I wouldn't bother seeing a doctor about this unless you start abruptly manifesting *lots* of allergies, as that can be a symptom of interesting autoimmune fuckery like MCAS which is pretty debilitating if untreated.
YTA because that's just not cool.
Anyway, you could be allergic to peanuts and not allergic to tree nuts. You should get tested, so you could at least know for sure.
YTA. Peanut allergy is a very serious allergy...most people, restaurants etc have to go through a lot of trouble to avoid contamination. Seems like your wife also worried about this and took great care to make sure you were not harmed. Also, why not just say 'I hate nuts'...I'm sure people would have accommodated you. Feels like karma that you now seem to have the actual thing.
I don’t have allergies to food but I’ve never had an issue just asking for something to be removed
Example
“Can I get the fudge sundae without nuts on top?”
That's not what happened. He lied in 2007 when they started dating and she found out 3 months later. She's known for 17 years.
However, this year he wanted to try a pbj sandwich and it turns out he's actually allergic!
YTA. your wife thought she was about to send you into anaphylactic shock or worse. Why can’t you just be an adult and say you don’t like it? I don’t like beef (specifically only beef) and I tell people and they say okay. That’s just as common as nuts.
YTA. It’s idiots like you that are the reason we have so many other Reddit stories about people who almost died because someone thought they were faking their allergy.
Grow up.
Lol, my partner did the same thing and ALSO developed an allergy from not eating them. That's your karma. I don't think YTA really cause personally I find the karma to be funny. Your gonna learn now exactly how careful you need to be. FYI, say goodbye to sausage rolls, some imported ones are made in peanut oil. Guess how we learnt that? Yep a trip to the hospital.
I can't eat nuts or peanuts, never have and they've always made me throw up and be very sick.
If anyone's eating a bag of peanuts on the train and I inhale any dust, I get an immediate reaction in my throat.
And I've been that person on a flight where they won't sell nuts to other passengers. 🙈
However, I can use peanut oil for cooking! 🤷♀️
Having done some research it seems that refined peanut oil removes the protein which triggers the allergic reaction.
The danger is with unrefined peanut oil as that doesnt remove it.
But the FDA doesn't require refined 🥜oil to have an allergy warning.
YTA, lying about an allergy is dangerous for people with genuine allergies. You aren't allergic, someone slips you a nut to "test" it (people do this OFTEN), you obviously don't react because it's a preference not an allergy, thus cementing in their mind that people with allergies are just lying to be awkward/because they don't like it and will "test" other people who say they have allergies and could potentially kill someone.
If you don't like it, say you don't like it and be insistent that you don't like it so won't eat it. Allergies are too serious to lie about
Wait wait hold on - you break out in a rash from peanut butter? That does sound like an allergy.
I mean yes you already know YTA. But let's talk about that rash
You can develop or grow out of allergies. My brother wasnt allergic to nuts (i forget which types but he doesnt like any nuts so its not an issue) when he was younger, but like junior year of highschool he had an allergic reaction (not that bad) during his SATs from a granola bar. Then this happened like two or three more times between then and now that hes a senior in college they told him next time hell probably be in the hospital. So basically the allergy randomly started when he was 17 and has gotten worse as hes been exposed.
I made another comment about my brother being allergic to nuts but Im confused by this comment section. I have a food allergy that causes my throat and lips to swell up and ive never had someone even doubt my allergy. It seems weird to me that everyones saying this guy is the reason no one believes allergies? Ive never not believed someones allergy or had anyone question mine or my brothers. Is this really an issue or are people just trying to be mad? Like if I was cooking and someone told me they were allergic something actually not very believable like chicken, id be like “okay i wont put chicken in yours” and follow whatever precautions or at least say “oh you cant eat it sorry”. So I cant imagine someone denying a nut allergy, which is pretty common, or atleast in most cases known to be severe.
It really is an issue. People will often dismiss an allergy because they don't believe in them or they expect you to immediately go into anaphylaxis. There are countless examples in the news of people who die because a wait person was properly informed of all ingredients in a menu dish, someone being accidently exposed to an allergen or someone being exposed to allergens as a prank.
I have faced this issue. I had a former nurse get utterly hysterical I was drinking a can of diet Coke, one of the few things aside from water, milk, tea or coffee, I can safely drink, and tried to force me to drink lemon water. She doesn't believe in allergies. For events, as a non-drinker with a Citric acid allergy, I have had to fight for non alcoholic drinks which weren't just water or crap fruit juic
YTA. You don't lie about allergies.
Hilariously, **you** are likely the reason you have a sensitivity (perhaps allergy) to (at least) peanuts, now. Avoiding nuts for so many years is likely what has led to your reaction to peanut butter (common recommendation for toddlers is to make sure to expose them to nuts/peanuts after age 1 to *prevent* an allergy from forming).
Karma for lying like an asshole.
YTA. People like you are why some folks believe the whole "allergies aren't real thing" people die because of people like you lying to make your life easier
I have severe tree nut allergies. Anaphylaxis where my eyes swell shut and bleed, and I have to be tied to a gurney in the hospital because I will rip my skin off with anything I can find. You don't know itchy until you've tried using a cheese grater against your own skin. I also get rebound anaphylaxis where I can go back into it for no reason with no warning up to 5 days later. It's not pretty. So many restaurants don't take it seriously. But I can't afford a $20k service dog to smell my food for nut cross contamination for me.
Also, peanuts are not tree nuts. They're beans. Different allergy.
YTA. You shouldn’t have lied about this. But as a picky eater I understand why it may have seem like a good idea because you shouldn’t have to explain why you don’t like something. You just don’t like. But I have been asked to “try again” foods that I don’t eat and people have lied to me about some food having things I don’t like to make me try because “I didn’t think you would taste it..
YTA for lying about allergies. All the people like you who lie about it make it harder for the people with REAL allergies to be believed. And it was a silly thing to lie about, how is that easier than simply replying "I don't like them."
NTA. I totally understand. When I was a toddler we spent every weekend at my paternal grandparents house. They always had a bowl of button mushrooms on the table they would eat like popcorn. They also had a yard with lots of toadstools. My grandma was afraid I would eat them thinking they were mushrooms. So she told me they were poisonous and I would die if I ate them.
This was told to me every time I was there for a long time. So you can just imagine what paranoia I had about mushrooms. By the time I started school I didn’t trust the food they made that had mushrooms and wouldn’t eat it. I told the school I was allergic to mushrooms.
By the time I was in high school, I was reading the ingredients on food to make sure there was no form of mushrooms in it. I still do this and I am almost 60.
And I still say I am allergic at restaurants where I know they have mushrooms in certain dishes or as sides. If I am served food with mushrooms, I won’t eat it. Don’t bother to pick them off. The mushrooms touched it and just NOPE.
And before anyone bashes me on making the cooks jobs harder, my daughter and SIL have been in the food industry for years and are currently managing partner of a high volume restaurant. Every time I express my concern over making it harder, they have shut me down and said it is the restaurants job to give its customers a good experience. If this gives me a good experience then there is nothing wrong with it. I have also gone to other restaurants and when I tell them no mushrooms and it’s more of a paranoia than an actual allergy, they say the same thing.
Anywhere else I go, if I suspect or see mushrooms in food being served I just avoid it.
My husband teases me all the time about this, and I am sure somewhere along the way I have unknowingly consumed a mushroom or two, I figure I have lived my life just fine all these years avoiding mushrooms as “I am allergic” to them. There is no need to change now.
It would be just my luck that if I did try on, I would actually find out I am allergic like you did with peanut butter.
My cousins are allergic to peanuts and other nuts. Peanuts are the worst because a lot of food at restaurants can be cooked in peanut oil. So know that you know you really are allergic you need to be extra careful.
YTA because when people lie about allergies it makes people less likely to believe the people who really do have extreme life threatening allergies, however, get thee to an allergist! It sounds like you might actually have allergies and as someone who has a lot of allergies and also a lot of food aversions, it wasn't until I went to my allergist to get tested that I found out a lot of my food aversions were actually to foods that I had mild allergies to.
YTA - folks with actual allergies struggle to get legitimate accommodations because of people who lie about shit like this. Sounds like karma is out there doing its thing.
When you’re cooking for someone with allergies you have to do extensive decontamination to avoid the possibility of exposing them to the allergen. It can be a tedious but necessary process and it’s very rude to make someone do that for something you just don’t like.
OP - It is possible that your very real allergy to nuts caused you to not like them as a survival/self preservation instinct. Our bodies do try to protect us! 😄
NTA A lot of times when someone “doesn’t like the taste of something” you’re actually allergic to it or something in it. It’s your body telling you, it disagrees with you so you stop eating it.
It’s very hard to explain to people-that makes me want to puke. And if you say it, then you get someone who’ll want to make you try it, or try the way they prepare it-and your dinner is ruined or you’re rude to someone who prepared a special dish they’re proud of.
I tell people I’m allergic to celery-because it makes me gag.
I think that’s fair play.
That said-you should get tested to see if you have other allergies.
Telling people you don’t like something isn’t so difficult that this makes any sense. It’s maybe a couple minute conversation and people move on. When I hear someone is allergic to a food I do everything I can to avoid making them come in contact with it. I’d be a tad annoyed if I went through all that because they just didn’t feel like saying “I don’t like it”
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I met my wife in 2007 and have been very happily married for many years. But when we first met, I told her I had a nut allergy which wasn’t entirely true at the time. I just really didn’t like nuts, peanut butter or anything of the sort. So rather than explaining to people that I don’t like nuts and have them ask why, I just thought it was easier to say I have an allergy. I never got tested as a kid and because I never really ate them, we all just assumed I was fine with nuts but just didn’t like eating them.
One day she gave me a muffin which had nuts in it and she realised after my first bite and smacked out my hands in fear that she was about to start an allergic reaction. Obviously at this point I had to come clean on the matter and she was pissed and felt like I had lied to her. Which, it was a lie but I just didn’t think it was too big a deal.
Now, fast forward to 2024. For reasons unknown, I wanted to try an American style peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Actually really like them. But when I would ate one, I started to get a rash on my face and as it turns out, I am legitimately allergic to nuts. My wife was pissed at this discover and wanted to confirm with further testing, refusing to believe I am actually allergic.
So, AITA for telling my wife I was allergic to nuts?
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Holy..."hey, I'm not a big fan of nuts. No thank you." How hard is that? Instead of lying?! There are many things I don't like. I just tell people. Stop lying.
Wait, you lied about being allergic and eventually it becomes real allergy?
I am going to claim I am the richest person in the world now, let’s see how long that takes …
I never said I had an allergy but I’m not above saying I’m vegan so people wouldn’t question me ducking out of eating anything with mayonnaise.
Before anyone yells - no I don’t eat specially made vegan meals, it’s just an excuse to get people to stop pestering me to eat sandwiches. I make a salad with lettuce and tomato, sprinkle some salt on that and that’s a typical catered lunch for me.
It’s just something I say so people don’t give me crap for not liking sandwiches.
Yta but now you get to deal with the delight of actually having a nut allergy so it kind of works out. I became allergic to a ton of things, including peanuts, when I was 21. Enjoy the whole new world, it's bullshit!
YTA. Your lie has inconvenienced others for years. Because you claimed to be allergic, they could not eat nuts or have them around you. No doubt you have never appreciated the efforts others have made to avoid causing you a potential problem.
Also, you should not lie to your wife.
NAH if you don't like eating nuts, it's very likely you were already slightly allergic to them or prone to develop an allergy to them. Which you eventually did.
Also 2007 was a long time ago.
100% YTA for lying about being allergic to nuts. I absolutely despise nutella and the fact that it gets added to numerous chocolate desserts. I am however allergic (I literally break out in hives) to SOMETHING (because they are totes helpful by listing exact ingredients to make it easier to figure out what the allergen is) in the nutella that is not chocolate or hazelnuts because I enjoy hot chocolates with a shot of hazelnut syrup when the mood strikes me and I don't have an allergic reaction to them.
As they say be careful what you wish for. If you were never tested you do not know if you lied about your allergy. As it turns out your body “told you” that it didn’t want any nuts. So it sounds like you at least have a sensitivity to nuts.
YTA for lying.
While I see both sides, I’m going to go NTA with this, here’s why:
My hubby hates eggs, like will legitimately vomit from the smell and gags at the sight of them. But because they’re such a common food, he can’t escape them and people always give him the side eye when he says he doesn’t eat them. When he was traveling during covid and would have to quarantine, breakfast nearly always contained eggs. So he started listing eggs as an allergy. I didn’t blame him because if he was served eggs, there was very little else that would go with them and he’d be starving by lunch.
My daughter just got diagnosed with a hazelnut allergy which is odd as she doesn’t have any other tree nut allergy. She’s 10 years old. We didn’t figure this out until she ate a Ferrero Roche truffle. Her lips, tongue and throat started to go numb and then swell. Luckily I’m a nurse and was able to get an antihistamine in her asap and got her allergy tested. Now, this kid has had other food that contained hazelnuts before but would just tell me she didn’t really like it (like Nutella-who doesn’t like Nutella?!?) as a very young child. After her disinterest in these type foods, I just wouldn’t purchase them so she obviously didn’t eat them on a normal basis.
Fun fact: She was allergy tested at a year old with no reactions to tree nuts but she likely started to avoid the hazelnut containing foods because she was experiencing some adverse effects, was just too young to articulate what was wrong. Repeated exposures over the years contributed to her finally having a more severe allergic reaction.
If you were avoiding these foods as a young kid because you didn’t like the way they made you feel but was obviously too young or didn’t have that severe of a reaction to the peanuts and/or tree nuts, then you may not have made connection. You just “didn’t like them,” not realizing you didn’t like them BECAUSE you were having a mild allergic reaction. I bet your avoidance of the peanuts/other tree nuts happened this way and repeated exposures over the years worsened your sensitivity…eventually causing you to have a more serious allergic reaction.
I’d just get allergy tested and show the results to your wife. Tell her you’re sorry for lying but now you’ll have a legitimate reason to avoid these foods.
Repeated exposure can increase your immune response which means it will take less and less to trigger an allergic reaction.
Some people outgrow allergies while others increase in severity.
Edit: But you’re right, some studies have shown that no exposure to an allergen can increase likelihood of an allergy. This is why some pediatricians have actually encouraged earlier introduction of peanuts and tree nuts.
Yes and no. I have a severe mould allergy, most citric acid is derived from mould now, and have family who reacted to citrus. In my youth I loved anything citrus - oranges, grapefruit, lemonade all of it any way possible. (I would do anything to be able to eat grapefruit again.)
And now if I eat the wrong thing that has enough citrus or citric acid in it I start getting blisters.
So the theory is my allergy is a result of all the mould based manmade citric acid and citrus sensitivity found on both sides of my family.
K well I've had allergies all ny life they say build up your immunity they say give kids nits and peanuts when young and expose them to pets and so on. Sometimes things work in reverse, it's not all a cookie cutter mould.
I nearly died once because someone “thought my allergy was bullshit” because “they didn’t know anyone like that.”
They did that armchair dietitian thing (you see this on Reddit a lot) and tried to tell me that I should or shouldn’t eat things.
They snuck my allergen into some food and it sent me to the damn ER.
YTA for lying. But not all nut allergies result in anaphylactic shock. My friend has a nut allergy that gives them indigestion and makes their lips swell.
YTA. As I told my daughter once when she told a flight attendant she was allergic so they wouldn’t give her peanuts … “If you tell them you don’t want nuts, they won’t give you nuts. If you tell them you are allergic to nuts, NO ONE gets nuts.”
When I was a kid, I hated eating eggs…so I would tell everyone I was allergic. Not realizing egg is in everything. My entire family knew that I just hated the smell of eggs, so they went along with it 😂😂
Dude, I told this exact lie... when I was 6 and did not know what an allergy was. I just knew that it would get me out of eating a snack I didn't want. The legitimate fear in my teacher's eyes when she thought I had handled something I was allergic to is something I won't forget. I was borderline an AH then. You definitely are now.
Lol. Sounds like you realize you screwed up here (yeah YTA) and your wife is having a little trouble believing you on this issue which is kinda fair. Either way getting tested is a good idea. You may be allergic to some nuts and not others. Eating crunchy peanut butter will give me hives but I can eat smooth peanut butter fine. My doctor did confirm I'm sensative to peanuts which I found annoying because I was eating crunchy peanut butter every day at lunch. Eating wallnuts causing immediate mouth sores. No other nuts bother me.
YTA. People lying about allergies are why so many don't take them seriously. It does sound like you've developed an allergy to peanut butter though. You should probably see a doctor. But definitely don't lie about having allergies anymore. If you don't eat something because you don't like it, you don't have to justify it. Just say you won't eat it and leave it at that.
YTA. Saying you have a food allergy when you do not leads people to take people with real allergies less seriously. Peanuts (legumes) and tree nuts are also completely different.
YTA. I have nut allergies. They're a serious medical condition that impact every facet of my life. I wouldn't wish them on anyone (and the karma of you lying about it and then developing an allergy later isn't lost on me) but wow, you really suck for doing this in the first place.
The lying part reminds me of the story of that woman who absolutely hated the smell of peanut butter. She could not stand it. But loved peanuts. Especially peanut m&ms. And her husband knew the entire time as did her family and I believe friends. But anyone else like strangers or even work colleagues thought she was allergic to peanuts....so when she went to a work party and they had peanut m&ms she couldn't touch them.
When she and her husband got home he began pulling out handfuls of the m&ms from his pockets for her saying he knows how much she loves them....but yeah...dude you should of just told your wife you hated nuts. Not lied to her. I'm sure she would of understood. I mean she stuck with you for this long.
And yeah get tested for other nuts as well as peanuts. Because nut allergies can be deadly. As can a lot of other allergies. But right now we are talking nuts. YTA for lying.
So it is possible that the reason you didn’t like nuts in the first place is because your body was telling you something was off about it. A ton of my least favourite foods actually turned out to be on a list of foods I’m actually *intolerant* of that give me intestinal difficulties. I didn’t find out until I did an elimination diet. So tentative NAH because maybe you had an allergy you just didn’t know about?
And a day after this thread, I am sad because I have gone months without a blister but yesterday I pissed off my body.
On Tuesday, I had pasta with a tomato sauce - the sauce was leftovers from last week that l had frozen. I had the last bit at lunch and to celebrate my birthday I had some pizza. And almost immediately after I started eating the pizza I got a blister on my face.
I am heartbroken - I am going have to cut tomato sauce from diet again. I hate my body.
NTA.... A lie is a lie if it is not true. If you thought you lied but it is the truth then it wasn't a LIE, SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING. Do you know about imposter syndrome. I think, you have, "I am allergic to peanuts imposter syndrome". Here is a scientific fact about allergies. Often times an allergic reaction precedes no allergic reaction. Perhaps your adversion to nuts is the allergy. A past reaction is what caused the adversion . As a Behavior Analyst I proclain you are not an asshole and a truth teller, just clearly unbeknoenst to you and your loved ones as well.
I also sometimes lie about being allergic to dogs because I don't want them near me and this is the only thing that gets some fanatics to back off - so I kinda get it.
Still, nut allergies are often quite dangerous, so your wife probably got scared in the moment. You could have anticipated that and at least told her the truth.
Yes you are. Don't be a bitch just tell people you don't like nuts. I also don't like nuts, don't send people into possible panics because you don't like nuts.
YTA
Yta. Me and my actual, life-threatening, food allergies say you're 100% TA.
Have the balls to stand up for yourself instead of making it more unsafe for people who have real allergies.
Everytime someone like you fakes an allergy, people like my asshole family think it's ok to "test" a person's allergies by ADDING THE ALLERGEN TO THEIR FOOD bc "too many people fake allergies nowadays."
YTA for putting the lives of other people at higher risk to save yourself a bit of explanation/boundary setting.
Yes, YTA. You’re faking an allergy because of your refusal to have a simple “I don’t like nuts” be your outgoing message is immature. So what if someone asks why? They’re not entitled to know. Just repeat, “I don’t like nuts.”
YTA, "it wasn't entirely true" no shit, it was an outright lie. Man up and be honest, you don't like nuts...also peanuts aren't nuts...they are legumes, that have a few similar proteins to nuts.
NTA. Allergies can change as we age. I never had an issue with shellfish until my 30s, ate it all the time and then suddenly developed an allergy. It's about 8 years later now and we're finding I can tolerate some but not all.
YTA and a massive one. Do you know how many dishes call for nuts? What an incredibly challenging thing for your wife to have worked around all those years and all for nothing. I can’t imagine that stress. And all because of a lie. Who tf lies about an allergy? Also peanuts are not nuts. They’re legumes. Obviously you should get allergy testing. It’s not like your word is worth anything.
You are contributing to people with life threatening allergies being exposed to mortal danger.
For every split idiot who claims they are allergic to stuff they dislike people who are sceptical of allergies get"proof" that they can serve allerhic people allergens.
Incredibly selfish.
YTA for saying you have an allergy when you don’t. You are reason why people that have the allergies have so many issues. Now go get tested to see if you have the allergy.
YTA, you already know that. I would say that’s karma for you. Don’t lie about allergies. Get tested for peanut butter and tree nuts, different triggers. If you’re only allergic to one, you can use the other for peanut butter and jelly!
YTA- I think everybody knows something that something very bad has happened to.
You should take your nut allergy seriously. Because there are random things that might trigger because of the association.
I always disliked a type of nut. And as I got older it turned out I had a legitimate reaction to it when I was accidentally served it. In fact, out of the foods that I did not like, and avoided, I'm allergic to four of them.
And I know somebody who died suddenly that had somebody been around they would have been okay.
So yeah this is no joke.
YES definitely the asshole…. i don’t like pineapple but im not saying “im allergic to pineapple” i say “I don’t like pineapple” people with allergies (not all but a lot) need epi-pens…. epinephrine so they don’t go into anaphylactic shock. imagine noting over an allergy just cause you don’t like nuts…. grow the fuck up and like nuts or don’t lie and say you have an allergy cause that’s gonna come back to bite you you in the ass…. someone give you nuts accidentally and you’re either someone who thinks you’re allergic and you start eating it by just simply “removing the nuts” like you touch them that’s a dead giveaway…. gore the fuck up, AH
When I was young I pretended to be gay to hang with a group of girls at a slumber party. I found out then that deceiving people is frowned upon but I did learn how to unhook a bra with the snap of the fingers literally. YTA.
NAH
Look, other users here are going nuts but, I don't think it's that serious. I grew up thinking I was allergic to peanuts because I was horribly ill one time and my parents said allergic.
Got tested in my 20's and turned out I'm not. But it's so ingrained I still avoid them. So look, I get why you might short hand it. I have a few times because it's too hard to explain and sometimes people don't take no for an answer.
You do owe her an apology, but, I don't think it needs to be a thing once you do.
Take it as a sign that life is good if this is your problem. I think as your edit says, small white lie.
If people are mad about this, they should see the bullshit people pull with diet fads or "healing".
I bet some of the people mad at you are into that shit haha.
When I was a kid my mother forced me to eat raw tomatoes which resulted in me projectile vomiting and just being sick in general. So it was assumed I was allergic to tomatoes, not processed tomatoes just raw ones. As I got older I started to like tomatoes and ate them without a problem, and my wife makes a killer Tomato Pie. So my problem wasn’t allergies, it was just asshole parenting. I’m gonna go with NTA but a victim of irony. Bring on the downvotes lol!
NTA if you don't like nuts it was probably your body warning you. Peanuts are not exactly nuts though -they are something else like legumes I think? You should also get tested for seeds like sesame.
NAH
It can be easier to say you’re allergic than telling ppl you dont like something because then they ALWAYS try to change your mind. I think I’ve lied about mushrooms and olives? or at least thought that’d be easier than the string of questions that come after saying you dont like them. It may be worth getting an allergy panel done though. You should get one done because it’s possible to develop allergies. Also, it would be better to know than to accidentally have something and truly be allergic.
NTA .. yes it’s a lie but it’s also exhausting dealing w AHs who force things people don’t like on them. It’s sometimes easier when there’s nothing at stake and you didn’t know her well at the time. I’d only be mildly ticked if I had put years of effort into avoiding nuts for no reason lol.. but it turns out it worked out for the better
>it’s also exhausting dealing w AHs who force things people don’t like on them
You know what's even more exhausting? Having people not take my anaphylactic food allergy seriously because AHs like you lie about having allergies. And by "exhausting," I mean "dangerous and sends me to the hospital and one day could kill me." YTA
That’s not why people don’t take your food allergy seriously. People don’t ignore you because others lie… and do people really lie about this all the time? You think people don’t take YOU seriously… imagine how those same people treat someone saying they simply don’t like something. People disregard your allergies because they’re AHs on general. If no one ever lied about having allergies again they’d still be AHs to you…
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YTA for lying. Allergies are serious, not something to pretend about. But it sounds like you actually are allergic to peanuts. You should see an allergist and get testing to confirm that. FYI, peanuts are technically legumes, and being allergic to peanuts doesn't necessarily mean you'll be allergic to other nuts. An allergist can help you determine exactly what you're allergic to. That will help with your wife, because you can't lie about objective medical test results. I would be pissed at you too if I were her. Lying about something this serious is really shitty. And as someone with an anaphylactic food allergy myself, I find it infuriating. People who lie like you did are the reason we don't get believed about real, very serious food allergies.
I did once say I was intolerant of peanuts which is technically true since fuck those nasty ass pieces of shit. But I made it clear I wouldn't be in danger from exposure.
I've never heard anyone talk about peanuts that way, lol.
You have now...
I hate the taste and the texture, and don't think anyone should be eating stuff that's deadly to a percentage of the population.
I mean, milk, eggs, and wheat are also deadly to a percentage of the population. I'm not sure that people without allergies need to avoid all things that are common allergens.
Actually, the later in life someone has a peanut the more likely they'll develop an allergy. So the answer should be more peanuts.
He's making a list, He's checking it twice. Oh you better not be naughty But nice! Cause GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER IS COMING TO TOWN!
Quit faking. Just eat my peanut brittle. /S I'm kidding. It's insane how many people try to test your allergy because they don't believe it.
But it is people like OP that cause the doubt that people of questionable morals use as their excuse to "test". Same as people who cry "service animal" so that there little, untrained poop-machines can mess up my dining/flying/shopping experience are F-ing over people who have legitimate service animals.
I don't think OP is the main cause of the doubt
I mean... Is that really a problem though? Do we really need to test if someone is allergic to something or not, even if we don't believe them? Can we really blame OP for people just not accepting that you can't give peanuts to someone? I think is safe to say we can just assume every allergy someone tells us is real, and then just leave it at that. It literally doesn't matter if they are lying or not.
Kinda does though, because when someone says they have an allergy but they don't, they can either: - Inconvenience a lot of people by having to keep up the lie in restaurants etc, where they will (hopefully) put in the effort to avoid cross-contamination, or - Not keep up the lie and not care about cross contamination, because who wants to bother with that if they can avoid it? Some people are extremely inconsistent with their avoidance of allergens. For example, there was (is?) a big trend for avoiding gluten, and a lot of people were going into restaurants and saying they were allergic to gluten... but then ordering things with gluten in anyway. So restaurants started to take gluten allergy less seriously, and not bother about cross contamination, which really screws things up for people with celiac. It's also just a shitty thing to make people around you worry that you're gonna die from accidentally inhaling some peanut dust or something.
lots of people lie about lots of things but if you're going to try and trick someone into eating nuts because someone else lied about being allergic to nuts, you are a massive ah
My coworker claims to be allergic to anything that looks like a bee. She’s admitted to me that it’s a lie, but she says it because she just doesn’t like them. She also says that she’s been bitten by centipedes twice and that if she’s bitten a third time, by any type of centipede, it will be fatal. Idk what the fuck she’s ever talking about lol.
Who the fuck lies about being allergic to nuts?!? Out of everything to lie about you chose a nut allergy, the reason you gave is insufficient and screams pathological liar, in my opinion at least. This is absolutely mind bogglingly stupid. YTA on that fact alone.
I mean i would lie to strangers or aquanintaces because people are often non-understanding and persuasive about food preferances But i would surely never lie it to a friend, family member or any special person in my life
But what about restaurants? They have a whole procedure for allergies, with special food kept completely separately. If you tell them you're allergic, you're creating a massive problem for them. But if you just say you don't like it, they might be able to just leave the ingredient out.
I work at a restaurant and its really not a massive problem at all. There are plenty of people with allergies, its not rare.
I keep asking to have mushrooms and cilantro left out of dishes—sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. To be fair, I don’t lie about being allergic to these things. Eating something that tastes disgustingly like soap won’t kill me.
Cilantro taste like soap to me. And I hate Avocado’s, I wouldn’t dream of telling people I was allergic to the items. I just ask for things without it. .
I’m a cook at a restaurant I promise it’s not a problem at all lmao
But lying to anyone about allergies often causes people to stop believing in allergies and test those who are deathly allergic with tragic results. Even with Epipens available and used people die. Seriously, grow a back bone about saying no to foods you don't like.
Hmm i agree with you. To clarify tho, i haven't ever gotten in a situation where i have to lie about it. But i have clearly met people who are a little excessive on you if you say you dont like a food or not. And i am not really the person who would appease to them, i would just say no continuously. I just thought in mind that i can lie to an aquantince like this if i need to stay in contact with them without being disrespectful, but yeah i can see now where i was wrong with that mentality. Thanks for telling!
Fun fact there are always people who will argue/be pushy about food dislikes and even allergies. You need a backbone. No is a sentence. Try living with allergies. While I won't die, exposure to citric acid can cause me to develop weeping blisters on my face and my vagina. If you argue with me about my allergy which has happened. I will tell you in graphic detail about not being able to walk because any friction opened the blisters further and felt like acid was eating my vagina. I limited fluids, putting my kidneys at risk, because urination aggravated the blisters.
It depends on what the foods are. People can hate nuts and have no issue if almond milk is used in baking. But it will kill someone allergic.
Not only that, he was lying for years. How hard would it have been after his relationship got serious to mention “Hey, I only tell people I don’t know well that I’m allergic to nuts because I really hate them” at any point before this? He had to lie hard for years. Imagine everytime they ate out for dinner or went to an event like a wedding… He had to lie elaborately to keep it up. Such a weird thing to do.
But OP actually is allergic to nuts. He probably hated them because they made him feel bad. The only thing he did wrong is not putting 2+2 together and realizing that the bad feeling was actually allergy symptoms.
YTA - It's giving boy who cried wolf. I mean I am not a big fan of nuts myself, but I wouldn't lie about it. It's a weird thing to lie about.
And nut allergies can be really serious, so it's one allergy you really shouldn't lie about. I had a friend in college that lied and said she was allergic to tomatoes, but she really just didn't like them. The only thing was, we were all in on the lie, so we didn't really think anything of it. She only put it down so that when there were events, they ordered some other than just pizza.
Why is that the ONE you shouldn't lie about? Shouldn't you just not lie at all? Is there a measurable karmic difference in lying about peanuts vs almonds? Why is your pizza lie okay, but peanut lies are offensive?
Whoa, there is no need to be so incredibly harsh and fly off the handle, and you misunderstood my post if you're coming this hard. Nut allergies can be very serious, and in this specific case, no one knew he wasn't actually allergic to nuts (or at least he wasn't at the beginning). In OP's case, he had something swatted out of his hand because someone thought that his allergy was real and it caused problems. Later on it ended up OP was allergic, and it was rough finding out he originally lied. And I was meaning that nut allergies in general (I actually didn't specify peanuts in my post), are not ones to lie about, because they often end up being severe at times. As for my friend, we all knew that she was not really allergic to tomatoes (not pizza), so we knew if she did consume something with tomatoes, she wouldn't have an allergic reaction. The difference between the two scenarios were that we were aware that she wasn't actually allergic and just didn't care for them, whereas people didn't initially know OP wasn't originally allergic to nuts.
Who flew off the handle?
The person who seemed to take offense to my college friend's lie about the tomato allergy. The response seemed kind of harsh and a bit over the top. My reply to that person's post got down-voted, which is fine, but I just didn't particularly care for the response.
What words did they use that seemed harsh to you? Reads like they’re just asking questions to me.
As I said, I just read the words as being more forceful than you did. Also, I felt as if the person responding didn't fully read what I said. The response to me in capital letters was why is that the ONE allergy you shouldn't lie about, when I actually said that nut allergies can be really serious and it's one allergy you shouldn't lie about; meaning that because nut allergies are serious, you really shouldn't lie about them, not that it is the only allergy you shouldn't lie about. Also, in the story about tomatoes, we knew that she just didn't care for them and that she wouldn't have a reaction if she ate them. With OP, no one knew that his allergy wasn't real (or at least it wasn't at the beginning), so people had been super careful. I just felt that asking me four very pointed questions was a bit much, especially when it seemed like the person I was responding to didn't read my post clearly. Then again, it's the internet, so it's always difficult to determine tone, so what I took as harsh you viewed as asking questions.
And you missed what I said. I wasn't forceful. All kinds of allergies are serious and kill people regularly. You keep acting like I didn't read it. I did, it's just silly to act like one is too serious to lie about but others aren't. That's completely illogical to discount the severity of other allergies because you've perceived nut allergies as more serious for some reason. I'm clearly telling you that it's silly, but I'm not being harsh about it at all. Being sensitive on the internet is a poorly thought out plan.
I'm not saying that other allergies aren't serious and am not discounting other allergies at all... I guess I just used a bad example. What I was trying to explain was that in my friend's case, we knew that her "allergy" was just because she didn't care for tomatoes, but in OP's case, no one knew that his allergy was originally him just disliking nuts and not a true allergy. And as I said in another comment, tone can be misconstrued on the internet, so it's not about being sensitive, it's about your tone coming across in a different way to me than it may have to someone else.
I have a child who could die from eating peanuts. He is also allergic to tree nuts (coconut is a tree nut BTW). By lying about your allergy you have contributed to the problem where people don’t take allergies seriously. One of the dumbest things I’ve ever been asked was exactly how much could the kiddo eat before a reaction began? My answer was I’m not sure & I don’t have plans to risk his life to find out. I hate to say that karma came knocking, but maybe it did. Your wife has every right to be angry, though there are allergies that re life threatening and those that aren’t. I have an oral allergy to bananas, walnuts, and pecans. Please get checked out by an allergist, not your family Dr or whatnot. Go to someone trained in the field.
To add more - oral allergy syndrome can also include cantaloupe and avocado amongst others. But yeah, I despise when people lump every preference and mild intolerance into the allergy category. My MIL does that. So then when she eats it and doesn’t visibly react, it makes it harder on everyone else. The people trying hard to accommodate and the people who do have serious allergies (like my oldest used to; I’m familiar with the questions). Just say “No X please. They upset my stomach.” or whatever. I have an oral reaction to walnuts, so I just don’t order food with them. If I forget, I’ll pick them off. OP should have just told his wife “I can’t stand nuts. I won’t eat them.” and trusted his wife would be respectful enough to not serve him nuts then.
It's especially rude when people do it to servers. I've seen people lie about having an allergy because they just didn't want their order messed up. It's kind of fucked up.
And frankly, from experience, it doesn’t guarantee no mistakes anyway. It literally **only** makes it harder on those with actual allergies.
Oh totally, I can’t do walnuts or pecans, or banana. It’s weird to tell people banana make me ill. Sores in my mouth, itchy tongue, and usually a migraine.
People definitely get confused by food restrictions that aren’t mainstream. My ex has OAS. Banana (especially if it was underripe), cantaloupe and underripe avocado. We’re in Texas so the avocado was the weird one. He basically just only ate guacamole away from him since it requires them be fully ripe instead of bothering to explain anything. He also has the egg equivalent of lactose intolerance which is hard to explain because it doesn’t prevent eating them, just requires them be cooked very well done. Breakfast tacos are widely available and he likes them so it came up more than the OAS.
Coconut is not a tree nut. It is a drupe. The FDA classifies it as one for labeling purposes but it is not a tree nut and most people allergic to tree nuts can have coconut.
Cool, you can google. First thing that came up was what you said, almost verbatim. I’m simply going from the information given to me over the last almost 30 years and countless doctors, specialists, and allergy testing. I will concede that it isn’t a true nut. However the FDA doesn’t just call it one for labeling purposes. People are allergic to all sorts of things, yet only nine foods must be clearly labeled as an actual ingredient or that the item may contain or may have come into contact with it. Peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, shellfish, sesame seed, fish, soybean, egg, and wheat are the nine most common foods that people in the US are allergic to.
I am a specialist on allergies and in particular nut allergies. I am published on the topic. You are googling it.
YTA Absolutely. You have no idea the effort people go to and the considerations made to maintain a safe environment for people with a nut allergy. I’m assuming this is not real, because obviously most would have shut the whole thing down upon witnessing the effects for the first family Christmas or meal at a friend’s place as they all went to the effort required to accommodate your health needs. But if it is real, you are absolutely an arse.
YTA. You don't lie about things like allergies so that you know people are serious when they say they're allergic! Also, having a nut allergy and having a peanut allergy aren't the same thing, seeing as *peanuts aren't nuts*.
Peanuts arent nuts? Has the word right in peanut?
Peanuts are legumes.
YTA- I have very sensitive Celiac Disease (No Gluten Disease) and sometimes at a restaurant it can be easier to say that I'm allergic to gluten than to explain what Celiac is to someone who has never heard of it (also sometimes places won't take cross contamination procedures serioulsy unless you break put the A word)- even then I feel so incredibly guilty for lying about it technically! I can't imagine lying about an allergy just because I don't like a food
As a person with an anaphylactic food allergy, I want to reassure you that in your case, saying you have an allergy is A-okay. Do whatever it takes to get restaurants to actually take precautions to keep you safe. I know how hard it is to dine out with a very severe food restriction.
You're are not exactly laying. Yes, celiac and gluten allergy are different things but the the essence is that you can't eat gluten because you'll have health problems if you eat it. Being celiac you will not get anaphylaxis but most people doesn't get it after little contact with allergen. But rest of allergies reactions are similar to celiac reactions
I’m more focused on you lying about being allergic to nuts but then it actually being true. I don’t know why but I thought this post was fucking funny.
I mean the dislike of nuts may have come from a minor allergic reaction as a kid.
I’m just saying that I laughed reading the story, not because I was making fun of him… but because it had comedic value. There are definitely many reasons we dislike things.
Him not liking them may be in part his body's way of protecting him from that allergy. If he had a mild allergic reaction early on to a food, he would realize that he didn't like what that food did to him without being able to fully understand why, so he just learned that nuts=bad
Right?? Talk about Karma!
Exactly what I was thinking. Karma.
YTA. The reason that you are an asshole is that protecting someone with allergies is a lot of work. I mean allergies are a serious problem and you need to be paranoid to protect the people who have them. If you just don't like nuts, that's fine, but it doesn't require the same vigilance as an allergy. So yes, you are an asshole for that lie. And what's more, you don't even seem to realize that you imposed a cost on other people. So an asshole again.
I mean, yeah, YTA. Your entire story here is an object lesson about why lying about nuts is a shitty thing to do. 1. You make other people anxious and take steps on your behalf that are not necessary. 2. You make other people believe that nut allergies aren't real, when they are. I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed to bundle both of those consequences into a single person.
Has she had to adapt her life for supposed nut allergy? I can imagine that she’s not been able to have nut products in the house, had to discuss this with restaurants and family/friends who have cooked you food. It would’ve impacted her as well. So yeh, YTA for lying. You don’t like a certain food, such is life. I hate mushrooms, I tell people when they’re on offer and it is left at that. If you are allergic to nuts, then I imagine you have tempted fate and need to get tested.
This. If I was his wife I’d be furious.
I mean, of course lying to people about life-and-death situations is an AH-ish thing to do. And of course, once you do that, they'll be skeptical if you try to make the same claim again, even if it is legitimately true this time. So, of course, YTA for the lie, and you are experiencing the natural consequences of that lie now. So I guess my real question is why did you need to post this? Who is telling you that you weren't an AH for the lie? Because if you are posting this because you think your wife is being unfair for not automatically believing you now (and therefore insisting on the allergy testing), then that is really deserving of a second Y. T. A. judgement
You might have disliked them on a less than conscious level because they were making you sick. Anyway, you’ve been a bit of an AH but just go to an allergist already and then tell the truth after that, whatever it is!
So get tested. Find out what specifically you were allergic to - you've no idea if uts the peanut butter, and if so whether it was the peanuts in it or something else. All you know is hat something gave you a rash. You can't have your wife take care with your food without knowing *what* that is. You don't know its nuts, you just want it to be nuts because you think that would be the most convenient to deal with. Seriously, this is a non issue, you're just presumptuous. Just get tested.
You lied to your wife for 17 years. YTA
He didnt, he told her the same year they started dating. Hes only posting this since he did end having a reaction recentlly. Gonna guess he had a bad reaction as a kid and just thought 'oh i dont like this'. Had a friend who kept saying he really didnt like pineapple cause it burned his mouth, yeah he was allergic, and was 25 when he found out. Plus some allergies can get worse the more you eat them.
The man who cried nuts
And noone is considering that you "really didn't like them" because you have always been allergic to them? And maybe always felt you should stay away from them, even though you were never clinically tested when you were a kid?
Right, I don't get the antipathy toward OP for hating spicy bananas and throwing out the word "allergy." Sometimes our instincts know something before our cerebrum understands why.
YTA. You realize that for some people an allergy is a life or death situation? All you had to say was that you didn’t like nuts.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lookit you fuckin ✨️manifesting✨️ a peanut allergy that's hilarious Uhhhh NAH? People are so goddamn weird about people not liking common foods. You are not the first or last person I've encountered who has made up an allergy in an attempt to make people leave them tf alone about their food preferences. (Alas, it doesn't work against those psychos who try to feed people their allergens to prove allergies aren't real.) WILD to me that your wife is still bitter about a white lie you told *does math* seventeen years ago, though. Bodies are weird and sometimes decide you're allergic to something now. My immune system just decided last fall that raw bell peppers are the enemy. C'est la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Personally, I wouldn't bother seeing a doctor about this unless you start abruptly manifesting *lots* of allergies, as that can be a symptom of interesting autoimmune fuckery like MCAS which is pretty debilitating if untreated.
YTA for lying but karma certainly caught up with you.
YTA because that's just not cool. Anyway, you could be allergic to peanuts and not allergic to tree nuts. You should get tested, so you could at least know for sure.
YTA. Peanut allergy is a very serious allergy...most people, restaurants etc have to go through a lot of trouble to avoid contamination. Seems like your wife also worried about this and took great care to make sure you were not harmed. Also, why not just say 'I hate nuts'...I'm sure people would have accommodated you. Feels like karma that you now seem to have the actual thing.
I don’t have allergies to food but I’ve never had an issue just asking for something to be removed Example “Can I get the fudge sundae without nuts on top?”
WTF you need to ask if LYING about a deadly allergy makes you the asshole? YTA
Like what a crazy ass post! "I've been lying to people for years for no good reason and it caused a bunch of problems, was this somehow *my* fault?!"
That's not what happened. He lied in 2007 when they started dating and she found out 3 months later. She's known for 17 years. However, this year he wanted to try a pbj sandwich and it turns out he's actually allergic!
YTA. your wife thought she was about to send you into anaphylactic shock or worse. Why can’t you just be an adult and say you don’t like it? I don’t like beef (specifically only beef) and I tell people and they say okay. That’s just as common as nuts.
YTA. It’s idiots like you that are the reason we have so many other Reddit stories about people who almost died because someone thought they were faking their allergy. Grow up.
YTA Crap like that is why no one takes people with real issues seriously. Btw how do you know you reacted to the peanuts & not the bread or jelly?
YTA People like you are the reason nobody believes a real allergic.
Lol, my partner did the same thing and ALSO developed an allergy from not eating them. That's your karma. I don't think YTA really cause personally I find the karma to be funny. Your gonna learn now exactly how careful you need to be. FYI, say goodbye to sausage rolls, some imported ones are made in peanut oil. Guess how we learnt that? Yep a trip to the hospital.
I can't eat nuts or peanuts, never have and they've always made me throw up and be very sick. If anyone's eating a bag of peanuts on the train and I inhale any dust, I get an immediate reaction in my throat. And I've been that person on a flight where they won't sell nuts to other passengers. 🙈 However, I can use peanut oil for cooking! 🤷♀️ Having done some research it seems that refined peanut oil removes the protein which triggers the allergic reaction. The danger is with unrefined peanut oil as that doesnt remove it. But the FDA doesn't require refined 🥜oil to have an allergy warning.
I don't live in America. And the sausage roll was from a bakery, not out of a box. Thanks for the info though!
YTA, lying about an allergy is dangerous for people with genuine allergies. You aren't allergic, someone slips you a nut to "test" it (people do this OFTEN), you obviously don't react because it's a preference not an allergy, thus cementing in their mind that people with allergies are just lying to be awkward/because they don't like it and will "test" other people who say they have allergies and could potentially kill someone. If you don't like it, say you don't like it and be insistent that you don't like it so won't eat it. Allergies are too serious to lie about
Wait wait hold on - you break out in a rash from peanut butter? That does sound like an allergy. I mean yes you already know YTA. But let's talk about that rash
You probably caused your wife to totally change her eating habits because you lied about something. YTA.
YTA
Yes. YTA. And a liar.
You can develop or grow out of allergies. My brother wasnt allergic to nuts (i forget which types but he doesnt like any nuts so its not an issue) when he was younger, but like junior year of highschool he had an allergic reaction (not that bad) during his SATs from a granola bar. Then this happened like two or three more times between then and now that hes a senior in college they told him next time hell probably be in the hospital. So basically the allergy randomly started when he was 17 and has gotten worse as hes been exposed.
I made another comment about my brother being allergic to nuts but Im confused by this comment section. I have a food allergy that causes my throat and lips to swell up and ive never had someone even doubt my allergy. It seems weird to me that everyones saying this guy is the reason no one believes allergies? Ive never not believed someones allergy or had anyone question mine or my brothers. Is this really an issue or are people just trying to be mad? Like if I was cooking and someone told me they were allergic something actually not very believable like chicken, id be like “okay i wont put chicken in yours” and follow whatever precautions or at least say “oh you cant eat it sorry”. So I cant imagine someone denying a nut allergy, which is pretty common, or atleast in most cases known to be severe.
It really is an issue. People will often dismiss an allergy because they don't believe in them or they expect you to immediately go into anaphylaxis. There are countless examples in the news of people who die because a wait person was properly informed of all ingredients in a menu dish, someone being accidently exposed to an allergen or someone being exposed to allergens as a prank. I have faced this issue. I had a former nurse get utterly hysterical I was drinking a can of diet Coke, one of the few things aside from water, milk, tea or coffee, I can safely drink, and tried to force me to drink lemon water. She doesn't believe in allergies. For events, as a non-drinker with a Citric acid allergy, I have had to fight for non alcoholic drinks which weren't just water or crap fruit juic
YTA. You don't lie about allergies. Hilariously, **you** are likely the reason you have a sensitivity (perhaps allergy) to (at least) peanuts, now. Avoiding nuts for so many years is likely what has led to your reaction to peanut butter (common recommendation for toddlers is to make sure to expose them to nuts/peanuts after age 1 to *prevent* an allergy from forming). Karma for lying like an asshole.
YTA, however peanuts aren’t nuts, tree nuts and peanuts are two separate allergens
YTA. I have a super severe food allergy. Like it'll put me in the hospital. You make it so much harder for the rest of us with your bullshit.
YTA. People like you are why some folks believe the whole "allergies aren't real thing" people die because of people like you lying to make your life easier
I have severe tree nut allergies. Anaphylaxis where my eyes swell shut and bleed, and I have to be tied to a gurney in the hospital because I will rip my skin off with anything I can find. You don't know itchy until you've tried using a cheese grater against your own skin. I also get rebound anaphylaxis where I can go back into it for no reason with no warning up to 5 days later. It's not pretty. So many restaurants don't take it seriously. But I can't afford a $20k service dog to smell my food for nut cross contamination for me. Also, peanuts are not tree nuts. They're beans. Different allergy.
YTA. You shouldn’t have lied about this. But as a picky eater I understand why it may have seem like a good idea because you shouldn’t have to explain why you don’t like something. You just don’t like. But I have been asked to “try again” foods that I don’t eat and people have lied to me about some food having things I don’t like to make me try because “I didn’t think you would taste it..
YTA for lying about allergies. All the people like you who lie about it make it harder for the people with REAL allergies to be believed. And it was a silly thing to lie about, how is that easier than simply replying "I don't like them."
NTA. I totally understand. When I was a toddler we spent every weekend at my paternal grandparents house. They always had a bowl of button mushrooms on the table they would eat like popcorn. They also had a yard with lots of toadstools. My grandma was afraid I would eat them thinking they were mushrooms. So she told me they were poisonous and I would die if I ate them. This was told to me every time I was there for a long time. So you can just imagine what paranoia I had about mushrooms. By the time I started school I didn’t trust the food they made that had mushrooms and wouldn’t eat it. I told the school I was allergic to mushrooms. By the time I was in high school, I was reading the ingredients on food to make sure there was no form of mushrooms in it. I still do this and I am almost 60. And I still say I am allergic at restaurants where I know they have mushrooms in certain dishes or as sides. If I am served food with mushrooms, I won’t eat it. Don’t bother to pick them off. The mushrooms touched it and just NOPE. And before anyone bashes me on making the cooks jobs harder, my daughter and SIL have been in the food industry for years and are currently managing partner of a high volume restaurant. Every time I express my concern over making it harder, they have shut me down and said it is the restaurants job to give its customers a good experience. If this gives me a good experience then there is nothing wrong with it. I have also gone to other restaurants and when I tell them no mushrooms and it’s more of a paranoia than an actual allergy, they say the same thing. Anywhere else I go, if I suspect or see mushrooms in food being served I just avoid it. My husband teases me all the time about this, and I am sure somewhere along the way I have unknowingly consumed a mushroom or two, I figure I have lived my life just fine all these years avoiding mushrooms as “I am allergic” to them. There is no need to change now. It would be just my luck that if I did try on, I would actually find out I am allergic like you did with peanut butter. My cousins are allergic to peanuts and other nuts. Peanuts are the worst because a lot of food at restaurants can be cooked in peanut oil. So know that you know you really are allergic you need to be extra careful.
YTA because when people lie about allergies it makes people less likely to believe the people who really do have extreme life threatening allergies, however, get thee to an allergist! It sounds like you might actually have allergies and as someone who has a lot of allergies and also a lot of food aversions, it wasn't until I went to my allergist to get tested that I found out a lot of my food aversions were actually to foods that I had mild allergies to.
Surely you knew you were an asshole prior to posting this…
YTA - folks with actual allergies struggle to get legitimate accommodations because of people who lie about shit like this. Sounds like karma is out there doing its thing.
When you’re cooking for someone with allergies you have to do extensive decontamination to avoid the possibility of exposing them to the allergen. It can be a tedious but necessary process and it’s very rude to make someone do that for something you just don’t like.
OP - It is possible that your very real allergy to nuts caused you to not like them as a survival/self preservation instinct. Our bodies do try to protect us! 😄
NTA A lot of times when someone “doesn’t like the taste of something” you’re actually allergic to it or something in it. It’s your body telling you, it disagrees with you so you stop eating it. It’s very hard to explain to people-that makes me want to puke. And if you say it, then you get someone who’ll want to make you try it, or try the way they prepare it-and your dinner is ruined or you’re rude to someone who prepared a special dish they’re proud of. I tell people I’m allergic to celery-because it makes me gag. I think that’s fair play. That said-you should get tested to see if you have other allergies.
Nta
Sounds like karma bit you in the ass years later
Telling people you don’t like something isn’t so difficult that this makes any sense. It’s maybe a couple minute conversation and people move on. When I hear someone is allergic to a food I do everything I can to avoid making them come in contact with it. I’d be a tad annoyed if I went through all that because they just didn’t feel like saying “I don’t like it”
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I met my wife in 2007 and have been very happily married for many years. But when we first met, I told her I had a nut allergy which wasn’t entirely true at the time. I just really didn’t like nuts, peanut butter or anything of the sort. So rather than explaining to people that I don’t like nuts and have them ask why, I just thought it was easier to say I have an allergy. I never got tested as a kid and because I never really ate them, we all just assumed I was fine with nuts but just didn’t like eating them. One day she gave me a muffin which had nuts in it and she realised after my first bite and smacked out my hands in fear that she was about to start an allergic reaction. Obviously at this point I had to come clean on the matter and she was pissed and felt like I had lied to her. Which, it was a lie but I just didn’t think it was too big a deal. Now, fast forward to 2024. For reasons unknown, I wanted to try an American style peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Actually really like them. But when I would ate one, I started to get a rash on my face and as it turns out, I am legitimately allergic to nuts. My wife was pissed at this discover and wanted to confirm with further testing, refusing to believe I am actually allergic. So, AITA for telling my wife I was allergic to nuts? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep
The penalty you pay for lying about having a peanut and treenut allergy is that you can never have another PB&J without risking anaphylaxis.
YTA.
YTA for lying about your nut allergy.
Holy..."hey, I'm not a big fan of nuts. No thank you." How hard is that? Instead of lying?! There are many things I don't like. I just tell people. Stop lying.
Wait, you lied about being allergic and eventually it becomes real allergy? I am going to claim I am the richest person in the world now, let’s see how long that takes …
You can develop allergies at random times. I randomly developed a (nearly) anaphylactic allergy to pineapple 3 years ago
I never said I had an allergy but I’m not above saying I’m vegan so people wouldn’t question me ducking out of eating anything with mayonnaise. Before anyone yells - no I don’t eat specially made vegan meals, it’s just an excuse to get people to stop pestering me to eat sandwiches. I make a salad with lettuce and tomato, sprinkle some salt on that and that’s a typical catered lunch for me. It’s just something I say so people don’t give me crap for not liking sandwiches.
YTA. Anyone who lied about an allergy is an automatic massive Ass. And no shit she wanted another confirmation you lied to her about this very thing
YTA, but it's a very funny story so I'll let you off.
Yta but now you get to deal with the delight of actually having a nut allergy so it kind of works out. I became allergic to a ton of things, including peanuts, when I was 21. Enjoy the whole new world, it's bullshit!
YTA. How is it easier to lie about being allergic versus just not liking nuts? This is stupid.
YTA. Bro allergies are no joke. There are some nuts that I don’t like but I would never lie about it. If I was her I would be also upset
YTA.
YTA 100%.
YTA
YTA. Your lie has inconvenienced others for years. Because you claimed to be allergic, they could not eat nuts or have them around you. No doubt you have never appreciated the efforts others have made to avoid causing you a potential problem. Also, you should not lie to your wife.
Yes Yta
NAH if you don't like eating nuts, it's very likely you were already slightly allergic to them or prone to develop an allergy to them. Which you eventually did. Also 2007 was a long time ago.
100% YTA for lying about being allergic to nuts. I absolutely despise nutella and the fact that it gets added to numerous chocolate desserts. I am however allergic (I literally break out in hives) to SOMETHING (because they are totes helpful by listing exact ingredients to make it easier to figure out what the allergen is) in the nutella that is not chocolate or hazelnuts because I enjoy hot chocolates with a shot of hazelnut syrup when the mood strikes me and I don't have an allergic reaction to them.
As they say be careful what you wish for. If you were never tested you do not know if you lied about your allergy. As it turns out your body “told you” that it didn’t want any nuts. So it sounds like you at least have a sensitivity to nuts. YTA for lying.
While I see both sides, I’m going to go NTA with this, here’s why: My hubby hates eggs, like will legitimately vomit from the smell and gags at the sight of them. But because they’re such a common food, he can’t escape them and people always give him the side eye when he says he doesn’t eat them. When he was traveling during covid and would have to quarantine, breakfast nearly always contained eggs. So he started listing eggs as an allergy. I didn’t blame him because if he was served eggs, there was very little else that would go with them and he’d be starving by lunch. My daughter just got diagnosed with a hazelnut allergy which is odd as she doesn’t have any other tree nut allergy. She’s 10 years old. We didn’t figure this out until she ate a Ferrero Roche truffle. Her lips, tongue and throat started to go numb and then swell. Luckily I’m a nurse and was able to get an antihistamine in her asap and got her allergy tested. Now, this kid has had other food that contained hazelnuts before but would just tell me she didn’t really like it (like Nutella-who doesn’t like Nutella?!?) as a very young child. After her disinterest in these type foods, I just wouldn’t purchase them so she obviously didn’t eat them on a normal basis. Fun fact: She was allergy tested at a year old with no reactions to tree nuts but she likely started to avoid the hazelnut containing foods because she was experiencing some adverse effects, was just too young to articulate what was wrong. Repeated exposures over the years contributed to her finally having a more severe allergic reaction. If you were avoiding these foods as a young kid because you didn’t like the way they made you feel but was obviously too young or didn’t have that severe of a reaction to the peanuts and/or tree nuts, then you may not have made connection. You just “didn’t like them,” not realizing you didn’t like them BECAUSE you were having a mild allergic reaction. I bet your avoidance of the peanuts/other tree nuts happened this way and repeated exposures over the years worsened your sensitivity…eventually causing you to have a more serious allergic reaction. I’d just get allergy tested and show the results to your wife. Tell her you’re sorry for lying but now you’ll have a legitimate reason to avoid these foods.
It's no exposure that makes you become allergic.
Repeated exposure can increase your immune response which means it will take less and less to trigger an allergic reaction. Some people outgrow allergies while others increase in severity. Edit: But you’re right, some studies have shown that no exposure to an allergen can increase likelihood of an allergy. This is why some pediatricians have actually encouraged earlier introduction of peanuts and tree nuts.
Yes and no. I have a severe mould allergy, most citric acid is derived from mould now, and have family who reacted to citrus. In my youth I loved anything citrus - oranges, grapefruit, lemonade all of it any way possible. (I would do anything to be able to eat grapefruit again.) And now if I eat the wrong thing that has enough citrus or citric acid in it I start getting blisters. So the theory is my allergy is a result of all the mould based manmade citric acid and citrus sensitivity found on both sides of my family.
K well I've had allergies all ny life they say build up your immunity they say give kids nits and peanuts when young and expose them to pets and so on. Sometimes things work in reverse, it's not all a cookie cutter mould.
YTA because food allergies are a big deal. You could have just said you Haylie them, which is legit.Youre allowed not to like food.
I nearly died once because someone “thought my allergy was bullshit” because “they didn’t know anyone like that.” They did that armchair dietitian thing (you see this on Reddit a lot) and tried to tell me that I should or shouldn’t eat things. They snuck my allergen into some food and it sent me to the damn ER.
YTA for lying. But not all nut allergies result in anaphylactic shock. My friend has a nut allergy that gives them indigestion and makes their lips swell.
YTA. As I told my daughter once when she told a flight attendant she was allergic so they wouldn’t give her peanuts … “If you tell them you don’t want nuts, they won’t give you nuts. If you tell them you are allergic to nuts, NO ONE gets nuts.”
YTA, but hopefully you are more mature now and can just tell people you like or don't like something instead of making up lies to hide behind.
When I was a kid, I hated eating eggs…so I would tell everyone I was allergic. Not realizing egg is in everything. My entire family knew that I just hated the smell of eggs, so they went along with it 😂😂
Dude, I told this exact lie... when I was 6 and did not know what an allergy was. I just knew that it would get me out of eating a snack I didn't want. The legitimate fear in my teacher's eyes when she thought I had handled something I was allergic to is something I won't forget. I was borderline an AH then. You definitely are now.
Lol. Sounds like you realize you screwed up here (yeah YTA) and your wife is having a little trouble believing you on this issue which is kinda fair. Either way getting tested is a good idea. You may be allergic to some nuts and not others. Eating crunchy peanut butter will give me hives but I can eat smooth peanut butter fine. My doctor did confirm I'm sensative to peanuts which I found annoying because I was eating crunchy peanut butter every day at lunch. Eating wallnuts causing immediate mouth sores. No other nuts bother me.
YTA. People lying about allergies are why so many don't take them seriously. It does sound like you've developed an allergy to peanut butter though. You should probably see a doctor. But definitely don't lie about having allergies anymore. If you don't eat something because you don't like it, you don't have to justify it. Just say you won't eat it and leave it at that.
YTA. Saying you have a food allergy when you do not leads people to take people with real allergies less seriously. Peanuts (legumes) and tree nuts are also completely different.
You and half of the other people with "nut allergies".
YTA. I have nut allergies. They're a serious medical condition that impact every facet of my life. I wouldn't wish them on anyone (and the karma of you lying about it and then developing an allergy later isn't lost on me) but wow, you really suck for doing this in the first place.
The lying part reminds me of the story of that woman who absolutely hated the smell of peanut butter. She could not stand it. But loved peanuts. Especially peanut m&ms. And her husband knew the entire time as did her family and I believe friends. But anyone else like strangers or even work colleagues thought she was allergic to peanuts....so when she went to a work party and they had peanut m&ms she couldn't touch them. When she and her husband got home he began pulling out handfuls of the m&ms from his pockets for her saying he knows how much she loves them....but yeah...dude you should of just told your wife you hated nuts. Not lied to her. I'm sure she would of understood. I mean she stuck with you for this long. And yeah get tested for other nuts as well as peanuts. Because nut allergies can be deadly. As can a lot of other allergies. But right now we are talking nuts. YTA for lying.
This is literally karma.
So it is possible that the reason you didn’t like nuts in the first place is because your body was telling you something was off about it. A ton of my least favourite foods actually turned out to be on a list of foods I’m actually *intolerant* of that give me intestinal difficulties. I didn’t find out until I did an elimination diet. So tentative NAH because maybe you had an allergy you just didn’t know about?
YTA - this is karma lol
"AITA for lyi..." yes, yta. Next.
And a day after this thread, I am sad because I have gone months without a blister but yesterday I pissed off my body. On Tuesday, I had pasta with a tomato sauce - the sauce was leftovers from last week that l had frozen. I had the last bit at lunch and to celebrate my birthday I had some pizza. And almost immediately after I started eating the pizza I got a blister on my face. I am heartbroken - I am going have to cut tomato sauce from diet again. I hate my body.
NTA.... A lie is a lie if it is not true. If you thought you lied but it is the truth then it wasn't a LIE, SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING. Do you know about imposter syndrome. I think, you have, "I am allergic to peanuts imposter syndrome". Here is a scientific fact about allergies. Often times an allergic reaction precedes no allergic reaction. Perhaps your adversion to nuts is the allergy. A past reaction is what caused the adversion . As a Behavior Analyst I proclain you are not an asshole and a truth teller, just clearly unbeknoenst to you and your loved ones as well.
I also sometimes lie about being allergic to dogs because I don't want them near me and this is the only thing that gets some fanatics to back off - so I kinda get it. Still, nut allergies are often quite dangerous, so your wife probably got scared in the moment. You could have anticipated that and at least told her the truth.
Yes you are. Don't be a bitch just tell people you don't like nuts. I also don't like nuts, don't send people into possible panics because you don't like nuts. YTA
Yta. Me and my actual, life-threatening, food allergies say you're 100% TA. Have the balls to stand up for yourself instead of making it more unsafe for people who have real allergies. Everytime someone like you fakes an allergy, people like my asshole family think it's ok to "test" a person's allergies by ADDING THE ALLERGEN TO THEIR FOOD bc "too many people fake allergies nowadays." YTA for putting the lives of other people at higher risk to save yourself a bit of explanation/boundary setting.
Yes, YTA. You’re faking an allergy because of your refusal to have a simple “I don’t like nuts” be your outgoing message is immature. So what if someone asks why? They’re not entitled to know. Just repeat, “I don’t like nuts.”
See what happens when you lie, karma. YTA
Stop eating like a toddler
YTA, "it wasn't entirely true" no shit, it was an outright lie. Man up and be honest, you don't like nuts...also peanuts aren't nuts...they are legumes, that have a few similar proteins to nuts.
NTA. Allergies can change as we age. I never had an issue with shellfish until my 30s, ate it all the time and then suddenly developed an allergy. It's about 8 years later now and we're finding I can tolerate some but not all.
YTA and a massive one. Do you know how many dishes call for nuts? What an incredibly challenging thing for your wife to have worked around all those years and all for nothing. I can’t imagine that stress. And all because of a lie. Who tf lies about an allergy? Also peanuts are not nuts. They’re legumes. Obviously you should get allergy testing. It’s not like your word is worth anything.
Big baby and liar. Yta
You are contributing to people with life threatening allergies being exposed to mortal danger. For every split idiot who claims they are allergic to stuff they dislike people who are sceptical of allergies get"proof" that they can serve allerhic people allergens. Incredibly selfish.
If you lie about an allergy, you are an asshole. The circumstances are irrelevant
YTA for saying you have an allergy when you don’t. You are reason why people that have the allergies have so many issues. Now go get tested to see if you have the allergy.
YTA, you already know that. I would say that’s karma for you. Don’t lie about allergies. Get tested for peanut butter and tree nuts, different triggers. If you’re only allergic to one, you can use the other for peanut butter and jelly!
YTA- I think everybody knows something that something very bad has happened to. You should take your nut allergy seriously. Because there are random things that might trigger because of the association. I always disliked a type of nut. And as I got older it turned out I had a legitimate reaction to it when I was accidentally served it. In fact, out of the foods that I did not like, and avoided, I'm allergic to four of them. And I know somebody who died suddenly that had somebody been around they would have been okay. So yeah this is no joke.
YTA but karma already hit you for lying lol
Lol. YTA. Real boy who cried wolf situation here. Go get tested.
YES definitely the asshole…. i don’t like pineapple but im not saying “im allergic to pineapple” i say “I don’t like pineapple” people with allergies (not all but a lot) need epi-pens…. epinephrine so they don’t go into anaphylactic shock. imagine noting over an allergy just cause you don’t like nuts…. grow the fuck up and like nuts or don’t lie and say you have an allergy cause that’s gonna come back to bite you you in the ass…. someone give you nuts accidentally and you’re either someone who thinks you’re allergic and you start eating it by just simply “removing the nuts” like you touch them that’s a dead giveaway…. gore the fuck up, AH
When I was young I pretended to be gay to hang with a group of girls at a slumber party. I found out then that deceiving people is frowned upon but I did learn how to unhook a bra with the snap of the fingers literally. YTA.
Hahahahaha all these people so stuck up. NTA my man. Funny story though. Get that allergy checked by the way.
NAH Look, other users here are going nuts but, I don't think it's that serious. I grew up thinking I was allergic to peanuts because I was horribly ill one time and my parents said allergic. Got tested in my 20's and turned out I'm not. But it's so ingrained I still avoid them. So look, I get why you might short hand it. I have a few times because it's too hard to explain and sometimes people don't take no for an answer. You do owe her an apology, but, I don't think it needs to be a thing once you do. Take it as a sign that life is good if this is your problem. I think as your edit says, small white lie. If people are mad about this, they should see the bullshit people pull with diet fads or "healing". I bet some of the people mad at you are into that shit haha.
When I was a kid my mother forced me to eat raw tomatoes which resulted in me projectile vomiting and just being sick in general. So it was assumed I was allergic to tomatoes, not processed tomatoes just raw ones. As I got older I started to like tomatoes and ate them without a problem, and my wife makes a killer Tomato Pie. So my problem wasn’t allergies, it was just asshole parenting. I’m gonna go with NTA but a victim of irony. Bring on the downvotes lol!
Yeah, exactly. Prople so keen to shame people that they don't decide to actually care about people. Which is ironic I think.
Lol first world problem.
NTA if you don't like nuts it was probably your body warning you. Peanuts are not exactly nuts though -they are something else like legumes I think? You should also get tested for seeds like sesame.
[удалено]
So edgy.
Edging?
A lot of people say allergic when they do not like something(my sil). I understand, because I too hate nuts. But an allergy is way worse. .
NAH It can be easier to say you’re allergic than telling ppl you dont like something because then they ALWAYS try to change your mind. I think I’ve lied about mushrooms and olives? or at least thought that’d be easier than the string of questions that come after saying you dont like them. It may be worth getting an allergy panel done though. You should get one done because it’s possible to develop allergies. Also, it would be better to know than to accidentally have something and truly be allergic.
NTA .. yes it’s a lie but it’s also exhausting dealing w AHs who force things people don’t like on them. It’s sometimes easier when there’s nothing at stake and you didn’t know her well at the time. I’d only be mildly ticked if I had put years of effort into avoiding nuts for no reason lol.. but it turns out it worked out for the better
>it’s also exhausting dealing w AHs who force things people don’t like on them You know what's even more exhausting? Having people not take my anaphylactic food allergy seriously because AHs like you lie about having allergies. And by "exhausting," I mean "dangerous and sends me to the hospital and one day could kill me." YTA
That’s not why people don’t take your food allergy seriously. People don’t ignore you because others lie… and do people really lie about this all the time? You think people don’t take YOU seriously… imagine how those same people treat someone saying they simply don’t like something. People disregard your allergies because they’re AHs on general. If no one ever lied about having allergies again they’d still be AHs to you…