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Yeah your are the ahole and really stupid to do what you did. Not just becasue it is totally inappropriate for someone looking out for a kid but becasue starting a kid smoking or vaping is idiotic.
“New experiences” is going to hear some live music. You exposed him to an addictive, deadly habit that is essentially illegal for someone his age. So yeah YTA big time.
And he was hired to take care of the kid. It is HIS JOB. He is supposed to be the adult in this situation but instead acted like a 15 year-old himself.
That's why I initially wasn't sure if this AITA was actually real. It has me wondering, is this willful ignorance or pure assholery and a desire to emulate his *cool uncle*?
Except you didn't make a good argument but I'm not going to say this is fake; there really are people this oblivious in determining right from wrong. The kid didn't overreact, you underperformed in your duty as a trusted caregiver.
YTA
>I was just trying to introduce a kid to ~~deadly~~ new experience.
A new addictive, cancer/ emphysema/ so many other health issue causing habits experience. I’m glad he didn’t like it, but Jesus H. Christ, you were literally hired to prevent him from doing stuff like that, not to give it to him directly.
Did you also grab him some meth, heroine and cocaine to try? Stick to McDonalds, babysitting isn’t for you.
But I'm an experienced cigarette smoker and was right there with them to make sure they were inhaling it properly. IMO it felt like a bit of an overreaction idk.
You must be trolling. No one’s concerned about their child “not inhaling a cigarette properly,” they just don’t want their child doing something with tons of negative health consequences that’s also extremely addictive. Cigarettes are bad and teen smoking is bad.
I guess I should've added this context in the original post, but Rupert said he thought it was cool when I blew out a lot of smoke so that's why I gave him that tip. If you think this helps I'll probably make an edit to the original post
No this does not help. “Inhaling correctly” doesn’t mean “the right amount to look cool,” it means “the right amount so you don’t hurt yourself the first time.
Also no parent wants their kid inhaling correctly… no one wants their kid inhaling at all
You think our concerns are about whether he was "inhaling it properly"? Brother, smoking doesn't [kill millions of people every year](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/tobacco) because they accidentally breathe it in wrong, it kills millions of people every year because *it's a highly addictive poison*. You've just measurably shortened this kid's lifespan by giving him a taste of it.
YTA. There's a reason for the age limits for buy cigarettes and alcohol. So you're 21 and haven't yet tried quitting smoking, eh? And you probably haven't gotten your first x-ray of your now gummy lungs. And you're working at McDonald's so you can pay more for a carton of cigarettes than for a tank of gas.
Yeah, you're a real role model, Ace.
I haven't job shamed anyone. Working at McDonald's is just that--work, not a free ride. Blowing his earnings on cigs, however, is simply incomprehensible.
Actually, the average cost of cigarettes in my state is around $8. I drive a 2021 Honda Civic which costs around $40 dollars to fill the tank. Hope this helps.
YTA Actually, I am having trouble believing this is even legit, for a few reasons. Firstly, you told him to inhale deeply which is a stupid thing to tell somebody who has never willingly inhaled smoke into their lungs. Then, drawing on your own faulty sentimentality of how you were introduced to smoking, smacks of an idiotic justification for introducing a minor to the dangers of smoking. Seriously?
I've been smoking since I was 18 and only do it when I'm drunk (excluding the time in this post). IMO if you have a trustworthy person introducing it to you it's not that big of a deal.
You’re 21, in truth, your life has barely even started (coming from someone ever younger than you.) You might not feel the affects now, but you will if you keep up for the next few decades.
Look, as a former child of a drug addict, even if it's not that big of a deal short term, which is really isn't in the long term if that is the only time they smoke, long term people can become addicted and generally 20% of those kids will probably go back to buy vapes, then weed, then alcohol, then hard drugs, it's a very slippery slope when someone's frontal lobe isn't fully developed - above 25 it's harder to become addicted if it's your first time
No, wait. Apart from the fact that you gave him a cigarette (which was a really stupid idea), you STOPPED AND FINISHED THE REST OF IT while the poor boy was violently coughing and crying? What's wrong with you? YTA.
YTA.
Friend, here’s a good rule of thumb. If you’re responsible for a child, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want them to tell their parents. He’s got normal teen worries about fitting in. Why not just tell him that the important thing is to be true to himself and he’ll find people who respect that? Instead you’re tryna get him addicted to cigarettes at goddamned 15????
I hope he does tell his parents. And I hope you stay away from kids until you grow the hell up a bit more.
YTA - I can't understand why anyone now a days starts smoking or vaping. It's like signing a contract that says you give "the man" about $3500 a year for the rest of your life, since it's so adictive. Instead of a vacation, you get to sit home in your stinky abode, with stinky hair and breath and clothes, waiting to find out if you're going to one of the ones with lung cancer. It makes no sense.
YTA I wish I hadn't given in to peer pressure and started smoking at a young age. At least the people that did it were my own age and not responsible for my well-being. Wtf is wrong with you?
YTA, you should be more responsible, but you also probably stopped him getting bullied viciously if that was his reaction was to cry from a puff of a cigarette.
YTA You are the adult here. As an adult, you are not supposed to expose kids to adult things. No cigarettes, no sex, no alcohol, no drugs. It's not just illegal, it's bad for the kid.
YTA
You gave a minor a highly addictive, carcinogenic substance without consent from his parents. You are a major AH. If you are hired to care for a kid, you do not give that kid poison, no matter how badly he wants to try it.
If this was rage bait, guess ya got me too. YTA. Beyond one actually. GOD I am so angry reading this. I am finding it extremely difficult resisting breaking rule 1. You posted here and based on your comments you didn't ACTUALLY want a judgement, you want validation. You go ahead and smoke your life away. You don't hook KIDS. Your uncle was massively irresponsible. NONE of this is remotely ok. There is no such thing as social smoking. You will be a multi pack a day smoker VERY fast. Hope you are ok with dying young like my dad did.
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I (21m) am back from university for summer break and am babysitting for extra money while away from my job at McDonald's at school. I've been watching a kid who I'll call Rupert (15m) for a family that lives near me that was on vacation. Rupert is 15 as I stated and could probably handle himself alone but the parents don't trust him and asked me to stop by while I have time to make sure he wasn't having friends over without their knowledge. On one of my check-ins, I was doing my normal thing of stopping in and talking to Rupert and he brought up that some of his friends at school had started vaping. He told me he felt left out but wasn't comfortable trying something like that. This reminded me of when I was his age having the same problems. During my time in high school/junior high, I was bullied for not partaking in activities such as vaping and premarital sex. This hurt me at the time but I eventually loosened up and when I got older an uncle of mine gave me my first cigarette while I was drunk at my graduation party. I think back on this memory fondly as me and my friends in college indulge in drunk cigarettes and some of the best times of my life have come from sharing a cigarette with a good group of guys. Having these experiences that I look back on fondly I told Rupert that I had a pack of cigarettes in my car if he wanted to try nicotine and see if he liked it in a safe environment since I would be watching him. We agreed and went to the backyard. I lit the cigarette and after a couple puffs handed it to him and told him to take a big inhale. After he inhaled he began coughing violently and ran inside crying. I was surprised by his reaction and after finishing the rest of the cigarette I walked inside to ask him what was wrong. He told me that he didn't like what I had gave him and said that he was going to call his parents and tell them what happened. I told him this experience should be between us but he insisted. I just arrived back home and I can't help but think he's overreacting a bit to something as simple as a cigarette.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Giving someone their first cigarette. 2) Because they reacted intensely by crying and calling their parents even though I made the situation as safe as possible for them.
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Yeah your are the ahole and really stupid to do what you did. Not just becasue it is totally inappropriate for someone looking out for a kid but becasue starting a kid smoking or vaping is idiotic.
I was just trying to introduce a kid to new experiences. If he didn't like it then fine but there's no need to make such a big deal about it.
“New experiences” is going to hear some live music. You exposed him to an addictive, deadly habit that is essentially illegal for someone his age. So yeah YTA big time.
And he was hired to take care of the kid. It is HIS JOB. He is supposed to be the adult in this situation but instead acted like a 15 year-old himself.
Comparing me to 15-year-old makes no sense. I'm way more experienced at smoking cigarettes than an average 15-year-old would be.
Are you taking the piss? Surely you can’t be this dumb. YTA either way.
That's why I initially wasn't sure if this AITA was actually real. It has me wondering, is this willful ignorance or pure assholery and a desire to emulate his *cool uncle*?
Ok now I know this isn’t real
I made a good argument and now the post is fake? Classic Reddit. You earned this downvote.
Except you didn't make a good argument but I'm not going to say this is fake; there really are people this oblivious in determining right from wrong. The kid didn't overreact, you underperformed in your duty as a trusted caregiver.
YTA >I was just trying to introduce a kid to ~~deadly~~ new experience. A new addictive, cancer/ emphysema/ so many other health issue causing habits experience. I’m glad he didn’t like it, but Jesus H. Christ, you were literally hired to prevent him from doing stuff like that, not to give it to him directly. Did you also grab him some meth, heroine and cocaine to try? Stick to McDonalds, babysitting isn’t for you.
"Hey kid, here's something you can be addicted to and might even give you cancer! Yay!" YTA.
Sorry, but YTA for giving a 15 year old a cigarette. I can believe that you meant well, but you absolutely should not have done that.
But I'm an experienced cigarette smoker and was right there with them to make sure they were inhaling it properly. IMO it felt like a bit of an overreaction idk.
You must be trolling. No one’s concerned about their child “not inhaling a cigarette properly,” they just don’t want their child doing something with tons of negative health consequences that’s also extremely addictive. Cigarettes are bad and teen smoking is bad.
If you were actually concerned about them *inhaling properly* you wouldn't have told them to inhale deeply. That alone makes you an AH.
I guess I should've added this context in the original post, but Rupert said he thought it was cool when I blew out a lot of smoke so that's why I gave him that tip. If you think this helps I'll probably make an edit to the original post
No this does not help. “Inhaling correctly” doesn’t mean “the right amount to look cool,” it means “the right amount so you don’t hurt yourself the first time. Also no parent wants their kid inhaling correctly… no one wants their kid inhaling at all
No it's doesn't help. You were still wrong.
You think our concerns are about whether he was "inhaling it properly"? Brother, smoking doesn't [kill millions of people every year](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/tobacco) because they accidentally breathe it in wrong, it kills millions of people every year because *it's a highly addictive poison*. You've just measurably shortened this kid's lifespan by giving him a taste of it.
It's not about whether or not they'd be good at it it's about the literal dangers of smoking. How are you this fucking stupid?
YTA. There's a reason for the age limits for buy cigarettes and alcohol. So you're 21 and haven't yet tried quitting smoking, eh? And you probably haven't gotten your first x-ray of your now gummy lungs. And you're working at McDonald's so you can pay more for a carton of cigarettes than for a tank of gas. Yeah, you're a real role model, Ace.
YTA too bro. We really cool with job shaming people are trying to earn living?
I haven't job shamed anyone. Working at McDonald's is just that--work, not a free ride. Blowing his earnings on cigs, however, is simply incomprehensible.
Actually, the average cost of cigarettes in my state is around $8. I drive a 2021 Honda Civic which costs around $40 dollars to fill the tank. Hope this helps.
$8 for a carton of cigarettes? Or can you just not read?
I mean, can you not comprehend? He’s TA but you’re just acting like a different type of asshole
That's probably the cost for a single pack there bud, I bet if you stop smoking your reading comprehension will improve too
YTA Actually, I am having trouble believing this is even legit, for a few reasons. Firstly, you told him to inhale deeply which is a stupid thing to tell somebody who has never willingly inhaled smoke into their lungs. Then, drawing on your own faulty sentimentality of how you were introduced to smoking, smacks of an idiotic justification for introducing a minor to the dangers of smoking. Seriously?
YTA. Drugs can ruin people's lives like parasites
I've been smoking since I was 18 and only do it when I'm drunk (excluding the time in this post). IMO if you have a trustworthy person introducing it to you it's not that big of a deal.
You’re 21, in truth, your life has barely even started (coming from someone ever younger than you.) You might not feel the affects now, but you will if you keep up for the next few decades.
Look, as a former child of a drug addict, even if it's not that big of a deal short term, which is really isn't in the long term if that is the only time they smoke, long term people can become addicted and generally 20% of those kids will probably go back to buy vapes, then weed, then alcohol, then hard drugs, it's a very slippery slope when someone's frontal lobe isn't fully developed - above 25 it's harder to become addicted if it's your first time
You’re not trustworthy though…
You are definitely the asshole! Smoking causes cancer and while I believe you meant well giving a kid a ciggerette is inexcusable.
Agreed
you can’t possibly be this dense. YTA
Do you think they're gonna fire me?
I damn well hope so.
Absolutely
They should. I would and have zero trust in you after that.
They should. You gave their kid poison.
No, wait. Apart from the fact that you gave him a cigarette (which was a really stupid idea), you STOPPED AND FINISHED THE REST OF IT while the poor boy was violently coughing and crying? What's wrong with you? YTA.
YTA. Friend, here’s a good rule of thumb. If you’re responsible for a child, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want them to tell their parents. He’s got normal teen worries about fitting in. Why not just tell him that the important thing is to be true to himself and he’ll find people who respect that? Instead you’re tryna get him addicted to cigarettes at goddamned 15???? I hope he does tell his parents. And I hope you stay away from kids until you grow the hell up a bit more.
Yes, YTA. Are you dumb?
YTA - I can't understand why anyone now a days starts smoking or vaping. It's like signing a contract that says you give "the man" about $3500 a year for the rest of your life, since it's so adictive. Instead of a vacation, you get to sit home in your stinky abode, with stinky hair and breath and clothes, waiting to find out if you're going to one of the ones with lung cancer. It makes no sense.
YTA
YTA How old are you again?
YTA I wish I hadn't given in to peer pressure and started smoking at a young age. At least the people that did it were my own age and not responsible for my well-being. Wtf is wrong with you?
YTA, you should be more responsible, but you also probably stopped him getting bullied viciously if that was his reaction was to cry from a puff of a cigarette.
YTA
YTA You are the adult here. As an adult, you are not supposed to expose kids to adult things. No cigarettes, no sex, no alcohol, no drugs. It's not just illegal, it's bad for the kid.
yta how in the hell you think giving this substance to a minor?????
YTA You gave a minor a highly addictive, carcinogenic substance without consent from his parents. You are a major AH. If you are hired to care for a kid, you do not give that kid poison, no matter how badly he wants to try it.
If this was rage bait, guess ya got me too. YTA. Beyond one actually. GOD I am so angry reading this. I am finding it extremely difficult resisting breaking rule 1. You posted here and based on your comments you didn't ACTUALLY want a judgement, you want validation. You go ahead and smoke your life away. You don't hook KIDS. Your uncle was massively irresponsible. NONE of this is remotely ok. There is no such thing as social smoking. You will be a multi pack a day smoker VERY fast. Hope you are ok with dying young like my dad did.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21m) am back from university for summer break and am babysitting for extra money while away from my job at McDonald's at school. I've been watching a kid who I'll call Rupert (15m) for a family that lives near me that was on vacation. Rupert is 15 as I stated and could probably handle himself alone but the parents don't trust him and asked me to stop by while I have time to make sure he wasn't having friends over without their knowledge. On one of my check-ins, I was doing my normal thing of stopping in and talking to Rupert and he brought up that some of his friends at school had started vaping. He told me he felt left out but wasn't comfortable trying something like that. This reminded me of when I was his age having the same problems. During my time in high school/junior high, I was bullied for not partaking in activities such as vaping and premarital sex. This hurt me at the time but I eventually loosened up and when I got older an uncle of mine gave me my first cigarette while I was drunk at my graduation party. I think back on this memory fondly as me and my friends in college indulge in drunk cigarettes and some of the best times of my life have come from sharing a cigarette with a good group of guys. Having these experiences that I look back on fondly I told Rupert that I had a pack of cigarettes in my car if he wanted to try nicotine and see if he liked it in a safe environment since I would be watching him. We agreed and went to the backyard. I lit the cigarette and after a couple puffs handed it to him and told him to take a big inhale. After he inhaled he began coughing violently and ran inside crying. I was surprised by his reaction and after finishing the rest of the cigarette I walked inside to ask him what was wrong. He told me that he didn't like what I had gave him and said that he was going to call his parents and tell them what happened. I told him this experience should be between us but he insisted. I just arrived back home and I can't help but think he's overreacting a bit to something as simple as a cigarette. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
be so fr rn.
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Giving a young teen a cigarette is not giving them new experiences, it's reinforcing bad habits. You are the asshole
Definitely an asshole
Nta. My reasoning is that im lying and yta big time. His parents didnt trust him to do something so you come in and you did something untrustworthy
doin gods work