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applebum8807

YTA You are letting your wife think you are starving yourself and then tried to be petty when she was rightfully concerned because as far as she knows, that’s what your doing. What is wrong with you?


farligjakt

I have asked several times that i am also trying to loose weight so i have begged to not give me food.


WebAcceptable7932

She thinks you are starving yourself because you aren’t eating.  Of course she’s going to give you food 


GenderedPhoenix

YTA Yeah I'd definitely tell her you're on ozempic. I'm on an antidepressant that makes me constantly tired and made me lose my appetite. On top of that, I also have health issues where I literally can't eat or drink anything without my body rejecting it or at the very least making me SUPER bloated and full for days after, no matter how little I eat or drink. I'm constantly dehydrated and fatigued because of this. My gf worries about me a lot because of it, but also understands that I'm this way because of my medication and health issues. Right now your wife most likely believes you're starving yourself. You have to tell her you're not. I starved myself as a teen. I know from experience how that effects/worries the people that care about you. That being said, I suggest looking at some of the workouts over on NerdFitness. It's hard for me to workout a lot because of my other health issues, but I'll sometimes do the workouts from there and they tend to be pretty easy, but still challenging enough where you feel accomplished after. Might be something fun for your wife and you to do? You guys could pick out a workout from there to do together whenever you both have some free time


farligjakt

I will go back to training at some point, but have been sidelines due to a bad case of Tendinitis, i just want to loose 5+ kg before i start.


justhereforaita77

It's weird you won't tell her. Almost like you two have a bet that you want to win by proving you don't have to weigh food. What a garbagey way to go about this weight loss thing, which you present at the top of the post as something you're both trying to do together before explaining that you're fully lying about being on a pretty serious drug and making her anxious and stressed about you. oh it's SO easy for you to lose weight, i get it.


WebAcceptable7932

Info: So instead of admitting that you’re on a drug that curbs appetite you are letting her believe you are starving yourself.  Not eating for a day isn’t healthy.


KBD_in_PDX

YTA! How could your wife know you're not starving yourself if you haven't told her that you're taking medication? On her end, all she knows is that you suddenly stopped eating... why would she NOT be concerned over that?? Not only are you lying by leaving this information out, you're also trying to sabotage her healthy efforts to lose weight... when she's been honest about her efforts, and you have not been...


InappropriateAccess

YTA. Hiding a prescription from your spouse is not a good sign.


Deep_Sir_4569

Quit sabotaging your wife you fucking AH YTA x 10000


amoebafr3ak

YTA. She is trying to get you to eat healthily so that you both improve your health, together -- she isn't trying to cheat your diet, she's trying to promote the healthy weight loss plan that she's on, and worried about you completely starving yourself (especially because you haven't told her what's up). Your choice to put DONUTS in front of her, knowing that A) she struggles with willpower and B) it goes against her goals -- and doing this to deliberately get back at her, not out of care (which motivated her to cook for you) makes you TA. She's with you and trying to promote your health goals, while you're demonstrating that you're on your own journey and frankly that you're against hers.


KarmaSlut_

yeah yta for allowing her to believe you’re just starving yourself. also, going to a nutritionist doesn’t always have to be measuring and counting calories. the point is to get a better understanding and relationship with food. i would try therapy if the eating is that disordered.


Complete-Design5395

This has to be fake based off of your replies to comments. But, I’ll still say YTA for not telling your wife you’re on fucking Ozempic. Who keeps stuff like that from their spouse? Your wife is doing it the hard/right way - making lasting lifestyle changes. You’re taking a drug because you didn’t want to do the hard steps. Don’t sabotage her out of petty spite. ETA: This isn’t a criticism of all Ozempic users btw. I’m just sayin that based off of OPs own words that he couldn’t be bothered to weigh food and count calories so he got a prescription behind his wife’s back.


annoyedCDNthrowaway

YTA. The first thing any responsible doctor should have told us how dangerous and unhealthy skipping meals while on Wegovy or Ozempic is, never mind hiding it from your wife.


citrushibiscus

>Instead, I managed to get Ozempic prescribed to me, which has killed my appetite. YTA, or rather your Dr is, if they prescribed you that just to lose weight. There is a shortage and that medication is needed for ppl with diabetes.


medstudentonarampage

YTA 100%.Yea not eating for a day is an issue. It's not healthy in the slightest and if it happens many times over, it can totally wreak havoc on your health (people aren't magically immune to malnutrition). Relying solely on one tool for weightloss, means you'll gain all that weight back once you stop ozempic. You haven't changed your habits at all, which is the important thing about weight loss! Eating better food, more nutritious etc etc. Unless you plan on using ozempic forever, you will most likely gain all that weight back. When losing weight, it's all about making a life change, not a diet change. And yes you're an asshole for trying to sabotage your wife's progress with her lifestyle change, and comparing it to her efforts to try and not have you malnourished. You depending on food for dopamine while not eating much is dangerous because the little you're eating isn't nutritionally dense, just calorie dense from the sounds of it. 


123FakeStreetAnytown

YTA- your wife makes you dinner, so you bring heroin to the addict while you’re on methadone?!


One-Story9230

YTA. If this is even real, yes you need to tell her you’re on ozempic. She’s well within her rights to be concerned that her husband, who has historically been attempting to lose weight, is suddenly not eating for days at a time. What she’s seeing is signs of a severe eating disorder because you refuse to communicate medications you’re taking. I find it hilarious that your post is judgmental about what she’s doing. As if just being aware of what you eat is letting it rule your life, but taking a medication that prevents you from eating isn’t? Shes doing it the healthy way, she’s doing it correctly. You’re just starving yourself and then acting like you have a better handle on it than she does. You’re trying to get back at her for what exactly? Caring about you? Wanting to make sure you’re being healthy? Wanting to make sure your body gets the fuel it needs? She didn’t get “hysterical” she got *rightfully* concerned.


FreezeDe

YTA She tried to feed you because it is incredibly unhealthy to go entire days without eating, with or without Ozempic You tried to feed her because you’re a petty asshole who is mad that your wife has valid about your health, and implying that she’s just grumpy because she’s not eating enough fat and sugar


Scandalicing

Wow YTA. She understandably thinks you have an ED. You’re just sabotaging her. Big difference


oddity-on-holiday

YTA for needlessly worrying your wife, and then punishing her with petty sabotage when she acts concerned.


Timmyisagirl

She is scared that you are becoming anorexic. She wants you to eat. If you don't want to admit you are on ozempic then just tell her the doctor prescribed you new meds and appetite loss is a side affect.


Ecstatic-Two-7881

YTA youre gonna be one of those thin unhealthy people in the er getting fluids. You need to see a nutritionist.


fibrefeather

YTA. You’d be worried if she had an earring disorder won’t you? She would be worried the same for you. You’re letting her think you’re starving and getting anorexia. Why? Open your mouth and TALK to her.


APr3ttyWar

YTA - without any context I would absolutely support my partner on their weight loss journey by trying to not eat off limits foods in front of them, trying to have healthy foods in the house, trying to exercise with them, etc. But as someone who has struggled with an eating disorder I would be VERY worried if my partner suddenly went days without eating with no explanation. I'd be concerned they were restricting in an unhealthy way. Also it sounds like you BOTH need to communicate better - she needs to work through her issues about medication being "cheating" and you need to not hide things from her. So soft Y T A for her too for judging medication (as someone who needs meds to function, it's a very harmful mindset). It sounds like the donuts were a petty "give her a taste of her own medicine" sabotage thing rather than a "make her happy" thing and that's just toxic, even if she needs to work on her own views of the different ways people choose to lose weight. Also: as someone who at various times, due to anorexia, depression, anxiety, or medication, has gone days without eating: you WILL lose weight, but you can easily become malnourished and (as you have alluded to) compensate by eating nutrient poor calorie dense processed foods like sausage rolls. That is NOT to shame you - I've been there. It's not a healthy way to lose weight. Try to at least get yourself to eat very small meals throughout the day, even if it's just a side salad or some fruit or nuts or lean protein. You will feel better. (I realize it's easier said than done). Ask the doctor who prescribed the ozempic about possibly getting a blood panel done to make sure your vitamin levels are healthy, as mine got pretty wonky when I wasn't eating consistently.


MapleTheUnicorn

Yta


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A little about us: My wife and I have both struggled with our weight. We’re not severely obese, but enough that it's uncomfortable. We've tried to be active and go to the gym regularly, but after sickness and having kids, we simply don't have the time and energy. So, we've both tried to lose weight by eating better. While my wife has a plan from a nutritionist that has helped her lose some kilos, I refuse to let my life revolve around weighing food and counting calories. Instead, I managed to get Ozempic prescribed to me, which has killed my appetite. However, my wife keeps making me food and often puts snacks right in front of me, telling me to eat throughout the day. The last time I didn’t eat for a day, she got hysterical. I told her I just wasn't hungry and ended up eating some sausage rolls from Greggs. I also ask her not to make me dinner, but she tells me it’s her obligation as a wife (while she eats her own food). I used to always eat whatever was in front of me as i have bad willpower when it comes to food, but now I struggle to eat it. I haven't told my wife I'm on Ozempic because she thinks it's not worth it to use drugs. Anyway, yesterday I bought some doughnuts and brought them to her in her office room (we both work from home) and put them in front of her. She got mad, and I told her I wanted her to have happy dopamine and she needed to eat. She *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Technical-Banana574

INFO Why won't you tell your wife you are on Ozempic?


PhoenixRisingToday

ESH Good grief, why aren’t you two supporting each other instead of playing these silly games? Don’t you want to be healthier and for your wife to be healthier? You both need to grow up.


Codenamerondo1

I don’t really see where she’s playing silly games? He’s doing this in an unhealthy fashion behind her back and she’s…making sure he’s still eating?


farligjakt

what you want me to do? I am not gonna be mad or have a fight with the woman i love for something like this, I have told her that i dont want it, but she always says rightfully, that i anyways eat it because i was hungry.


HelpfulName

>I am not gonna be mad or have a fight with the woman i love for something like this But you will be a passive aggressive asshole to her? Wow, such love, amazing 😍 Grow up and just talk to her. Also, her giving you HEALTHY food and you eating sausage rolls are not the same thing, so you putting doughnuts in front of her as your shitty revenge is not equivalent at all. YTA all day. Be a better person, let alone a better husband.


PhoenixRisingToday

Sit down with her and have a conversation about how you can support one another. It sounds like you have different approaches and different needs on this weight loss journey. Find ways to support one another instead of sabotaging each other. And stop buying donuts! Not cool.


Knale

Your refusal to tell your partner you're on Ozempic is ridiculous, and the fact that you won't articulate why tells me this whole post is probably horseshit.


jrm1102

ESH - this just seems like you’re not both encouraging various types of disordered eating Also, you need to still eat when you’re on ozempic. You may not always be hungry but ya gotta eat dude


One-Story9230

Getting a plan from a nutritionist and sticking to it is not an eating disorder. Some people need to track the specifics in order to be successful, that doesn’t make it disordered.


Smile1228

I second this. I actually worked with a nutritionist during my ED recovery and it was one of the best things I did for myself at the time.


APr3ttyWar

NO dietician would advocate going all day without eating then eating nothing but sausage rolls. Does it sometimes happen, especially with appetite suppressant drugs? Sure. It happened to me during finals since anxiety tanks my appetite and I take stimulant meds for ADHD. But that doesn't make it healthy. (Also he should see a dietician. They are the more highly qualified professional, anyone can call themselves a nutritionist).


kaldaka16

Yes, but he's not the one with an eating plan, she is and it definitely involves her eating regular meals based on the post. He's the one not eating anything most of the day.


annabananaberry

A dietician didn’t suggest he do that. OP’s wife is working with a nutritionist and has a healthy meal plan and supports in place. OP is the one who is starving himself and then eating unhealthy foods.


farligjakt

i know, i do eat the minimum requirement but then there is always food on my table because i dont eat enough.


hoshinoanzu

You refuse to let your wife count calories and weigh her food but here you are taking drugs to do the work and not eat at all 🫠 YTA


jrm1102

I get it. Just a little worrisome when you say “I didnt eat for a day”


farligjakt

Yeah, that was one day and basically it was just because it was a hectic one


Dismal-Wallaby-9694

ESH, you both suck at communicating. Do you even like each other?


Emergency_Monk4404

ESH. Who cares if it’s “cheating”? That’s fucking meaningless in this context. It’s not a game your lives and health are literally on the line. If you have to lie about this what else is wrong here? You’re both doing the opposite of supporting each other and honestly is the best place to start the fix.


Marshmallowfrootloop

ESH. Each of you is undermining the other. Plus you are also not being honest w your wife. 


Limp-Star2137

ESH. You're wife is trying to throw food at you and not hearing you when you speak, but you're hiding the fact that you're on medication. Also, not eating for a whole day is worrisome. Sit down, and communicate with your wife about your meds and expectations. 


MaxHowe

ESH. You really seem to hate one another.


WebAcceptable7932

I read it as more of concern coming from the wife.  OP admits to barely eating and having gone a day without eating.  He also isn’t telling her he’s on drug that curbs appetite.  She probably thinking he’s starving himself 


One-Story9230

Yea I actually can’t believe how many people are trying to paint the wife out to be anything other than a caring wife. Like he’s not eating for full days and Reddit expects her to just…support that?


MaxHowe

they're severely obese. He won't starve if he doesn't eat for a day .... or more..


WebAcceptable7932

OP literally said in the post they **arent** severely obese…. Edit-2nd sentence in case you missed it 


MaxHowe

fair enough but aren't "severely" is one hell of a qualifier. Not trying to be mean to OP about it, dude doesn't claim to have any fear of starving


WebAcceptable7932

It’s still not good on the body to not eat.