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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole because I kicked out my roommate for bringing his girlfriend over without informing me. The action I took was enforcing our rule about informing each other of guests, but I might be the asshole because I didn't give him a chance to make it right or have a calm discussion before escalating to eviction. My strict reaction could be seen as unreasonable and inflexible, especially since it left him scrambling for a new place to live.
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>we set some ground rules one of which was to inform each other if we were having guests over.
Ground rules are great! Clear expectations.
>i wasn’t comfortable with unexpected guests especially since we had an agreement. he shrugged it off saying it was no big deal and i was overreacting.
So he completely dismissed you. Got it.
I'm not sure you can just kick him out, you might have to evict him, depends on your local laws etc., however...you don't have to live with someone who makes your life uncomfortable.
I do think he crossed a line though. He broke a clearly laid out boundary and he doesn't care.
NTA for being upset, but like I said, I'm not sure it's legal for you to just kick him out.
If OP tells them they need to leave and gives a date it is all legal. OP cannot forceably remove the tenent from the premises or, depending on jurisdiction, cannot revoke access to utilities. As long as OP tells the tenant to leave and the tenant just leaves, it is all legal, if the tenet decides to fight it then OP needs to follow the appropriate legal recourse.
NTA. You might have been overreacting if the surprise guest were there a few hours one evening, but staying over the entire weekend is definitely a breach of the agreement. His "no big deal" reaction to you calling him out on it would have pushed me over the edge and him out the door, too.
NTA
He didn't respect the rules he agreed to when he moved in. If he still refuses to abide by them, he should move somewhere else where he can invite guests without asking.
NTA. He agreed to the rule before moving in, so he knew it was important to you and then did a complete about turn. Having a complete stranger invade your house space, living room for the whole weekend..nah, I wouldn’t like it either. Better he goes.
is he on the lease? too bad, so sad. also, bit of an overreaction to try evict him because of his gf coming over unannounced *one time*. Does everyone need to walk on eggshells when you're around?
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i’m 28f single and recently moved into a new apartment. i found a roommate, 30m, who seemed decent. we set some ground rules one of which was to inform each other if we were having guests over. i work long hours and value my privacy.
last weekend i came home exhausted hoping to relax only to find his girlfriend in the living room. he didn’t mention she’d be staying over. i tried to be polite but it was awkward. she stayed the whole weekend and he never asked if it was okay.
i confronted him on sunday night explaining i wasn’t comfortable with unexpected guests especially since we had an agreement. he shrugged it off saying it was no big deal and i was overreacting. i told him it was a breach of trust and respect.
things escalated and i told him he needed to find a new place. he’s now calling me unreasonable saying i should be more understanding and flexible. some of my friends think i overreacted while others support my decision.
so AITA for kicking him out?
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If it was just word of mouth... Then too bad unfortunately nothing is enforceable.
If it a written and signed contract then you have the right to do what you want but even then legality is one thing.
I'm gonna say nta for being upset, a simple rule was broken but yta to expect everyone else to live like you.
I've had to make many a compromise over the last few years regarding my living standards but it has helped me grow from one thing to another.
I just hope I can maintain some kind of normality, neutrality in my life at this point.
NTA
You set a rule. Both of you agreed on it. He breached the rule.
There's nothing to discuss; your roommate clearly doesn't respect the boundaries you two set TOGETHER. As such, he should move out.
If the ground rules were in paper and agreed upon prior to his infraction, then he's TA.
If the ground rules were simply word of mouth and/or ambiguous in any possible way, then YTA.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I might be the asshole because I kicked out my roommate for bringing his girlfriend over without informing me. The action I took was enforcing our rule about informing each other of guests, but I might be the asshole because I didn't give him a chance to make it right or have a calm discussion before escalating to eviction. My strict reaction could be seen as unreasonable and inflexible, especially since it left him scrambling for a new place to live. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>we set some ground rules one of which was to inform each other if we were having guests over. Ground rules are great! Clear expectations. >i wasn’t comfortable with unexpected guests especially since we had an agreement. he shrugged it off saying it was no big deal and i was overreacting. So he completely dismissed you. Got it. I'm not sure you can just kick him out, you might have to evict him, depends on your local laws etc., however...you don't have to live with someone who makes your life uncomfortable. I do think he crossed a line though. He broke a clearly laid out boundary and he doesn't care. NTA for being upset, but like I said, I'm not sure it's legal for you to just kick him out.
If OP tells them they need to leave and gives a date it is all legal. OP cannot forceably remove the tenent from the premises or, depending on jurisdiction, cannot revoke access to utilities. As long as OP tells the tenant to leave and the tenant just leaves, it is all legal, if the tenet decides to fight it then OP needs to follow the appropriate legal recourse.
I say NAH: But being someone who value privacy maybe don't have a roommate.
info: is he on the lease?
NTA. You might have been overreacting if the surprise guest were there a few hours one evening, but staying over the entire weekend is definitely a breach of the agreement. His "no big deal" reaction to you calling him out on it would have pushed me over the edge and him out the door, too.
NTA. He knew the rule and broke it hoping you’d let it go. Nope. You can’t trust him, out he goes.
NTA He didn't respect the rules he agreed to when he moved in. If he still refuses to abide by them, he should move somewhere else where he can invite guests without asking.
NTA. He agreed to the rule before moving in, so he knew it was important to you and then did a complete about turn. Having a complete stranger invade your house space, living room for the whole weekend..nah, I wouldn’t like it either. Better he goes.
is he on the lease? too bad, so sad. also, bit of an overreaction to try evict him because of his gf coming over unannounced *one time*. Does everyone need to walk on eggshells when you're around?
One time, for a *whole* weekend, and then roommate blew off any questioning of that as "no big deal".
Should do a Sheldon Cooper. Make him sign a roommate agreement
Well - even if it is unreasonable, this was your agreement - and you are entitled to feel safe and comfortable in your home. So NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i’m 28f single and recently moved into a new apartment. i found a roommate, 30m, who seemed decent. we set some ground rules one of which was to inform each other if we were having guests over. i work long hours and value my privacy. last weekend i came home exhausted hoping to relax only to find his girlfriend in the living room. he didn’t mention she’d be staying over. i tried to be polite but it was awkward. she stayed the whole weekend and he never asked if it was okay. i confronted him on sunday night explaining i wasn’t comfortable with unexpected guests especially since we had an agreement. he shrugged it off saying it was no big deal and i was overreacting. i told him it was a breach of trust and respect. things escalated and i told him he needed to find a new place. he’s now calling me unreasonable saying i should be more understanding and flexible. some of my friends think i overreacted while others support my decision. so AITA for kicking him out? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If it was just word of mouth... Then too bad unfortunately nothing is enforceable. If it a written and signed contract then you have the right to do what you want but even then legality is one thing. I'm gonna say nta for being upset, a simple rule was broken but yta to expect everyone else to live like you. I've had to make many a compromise over the last few years regarding my living standards but it has helped me grow from one thing to another. I just hope I can maintain some kind of normality, neutrality in my life at this point.
NTA You set a rule. Both of you agreed on it. He breached the rule. There's nothing to discuss; your roommate clearly doesn't respect the boundaries you two set TOGETHER. As such, he should move out.
Info: Where were he and his girlfriend spending the most time? Were they out, in his room, or hanging out in shared spaces?
If the ground rules were in paper and agreed upon prior to his infraction, then he's TA. If the ground rules were simply word of mouth and/or ambiguous in any possible way, then YTA.