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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for snapping at someone who is going through a difficult time and maybe overreacting?
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NTA. You need to work on your communication skills though and stand up for yourself at the appropriate time. You are being a push-over, bottling it up and ultimately exploding. Thats not good. Its bad.
This person does not respect you though. You can find better friends than that.
I know… I’m trying really hard to work on it, I have a hard time dealing with people, and that might have made it seem like I was okay with it or my weren’t clear enough
This is a bad example, because what this 'friend' did was outrageous and they knew it.
But you can nip a lot of situations in the bud just by being assertive in the first place. To be honest, I am way too far in the other direction. Ie overtly hostile lol
And yes you are right, it can give the impression that you are ok with it. And when you explode, it can come as a big surprise and make you appear kinda crazy
NTA
She clearly overstepped not once but twice!!
I suggest that you join or do some acting classes (or something similar) its great for giving you some confidence and might help you be more assertive.
Nta of course. She had no right to do that. I am a petty person and would have either signal (it's useless but hey... Why not) or would have commented asking her to add in the description that i did not agree for this to be posted.
You did the right thing. Knowing how to say "no" is very important and I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.
This is a great move. Keep going.
Learn to say a firm but gentle "no". Like "no ty" "no not now" etc... And eventually you'll say just "no." When they'll ask with their sad puppy voice "buut whYyYyY?" You'll just say "because it is my decision."
It will take time, it won't always be fun and you might have doubts sometimes, but it is okay, it is normal and most of all : you are in control of your decisions.
Anyway I digress, NTA. She is ah.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Ok so a bit of context, I (17M) have (or had I don’t know anymore) a (16F) friend, we are very close, she has been coming to me for emotional support because of her verbally abusive father, I have been there for her this hole time (I don’t have any interest in her THAT way if you are asking yourselves that), she is also very active on social media, specially on Instagram, I, on the other hand, am not to fond of it, only uploading photos from time to time when I travel or an occasional group photo with family or friends, I am also ver goofy, doing sometimes stupid sh*t with my friends to get a few laughs.
A few weeks ago while doing stupid sh*t I caught her recording me while doing this, I specifically asked her to not upload it anywhere since I’m not comfortable with that, she said she wouldn’t but then proceded to post it behind my back on her account with 95 followers (way more people than I comfortable with, I’m an introvert), when I found out I confronted her but since I’m not really a confrontational person she managed to calm me down and I let it slide, asking her to please not do it again.
Last Thursday I had lunch with her and she recorded me again, when I noticed I asked her to not upload it anywhere but she insisted and I conceded to let her send it to a friend (I know it was a mistake looking back, but I’m bad at saying know since I spent most of my school and high-school almost completely alone and getting bullied).
Yesterday I saw she had posted it, enraged that she had broken my trust again after clearly stating my boundaries I told her to f*ck off and that she could go f*ck herself, that she has no right to post what I do with my friends as a tourist attraction, that I am not for show and she had no right posting it and stepping over my boundaries like that.
Am I the asshole for snapping at her like that?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole for snapping at someone who is going through a difficult time and maybe overreacting? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You need to work on your communication skills though and stand up for yourself at the appropriate time. You are being a push-over, bottling it up and ultimately exploding. Thats not good. Its bad. This person does not respect you though. You can find better friends than that.
I know… I’m trying really hard to work on it, I have a hard time dealing with people, and that might have made it seem like I was okay with it or my weren’t clear enough
This is a bad example, because what this 'friend' did was outrageous and they knew it. But you can nip a lot of situations in the bud just by being assertive in the first place. To be honest, I am way too far in the other direction. Ie overtly hostile lol And yes you are right, it can give the impression that you are ok with it. And when you explode, it can come as a big surprise and make you appear kinda crazy
NTA you set clear boundaries that they willfully ignored. They will keep doing so until there are consequences.
Nta she overstepped clear boundaries
NTA She clearly overstepped not once but twice!! I suggest that you join or do some acting classes (or something similar) its great for giving you some confidence and might help you be more assertive.
NTA. Why is she still your friend, because she's not acting like your friend? I would rather be alone than have a friend lime her.
Nta of course. She had no right to do that. I am a petty person and would have either signal (it's useless but hey... Why not) or would have commented asking her to add in the description that i did not agree for this to be posted. You did the right thing. Knowing how to say "no" is very important and I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. This is a great move. Keep going. Learn to say a firm but gentle "no". Like "no ty" "no not now" etc... And eventually you'll say just "no." When they'll ask with their sad puppy voice "buut whYyYyY?" You'll just say "because it is my decision." It will take time, it won't always be fun and you might have doubts sometimes, but it is okay, it is normal and most of all : you are in control of your decisions. Anyway I digress, NTA. She is ah.
NTA. She knew you didn't want it posted, and clearly didn't respect you enough not to do it. I'd say not a real friend
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Ok so a bit of context, I (17M) have (or had I don’t know anymore) a (16F) friend, we are very close, she has been coming to me for emotional support because of her verbally abusive father, I have been there for her this hole time (I don’t have any interest in her THAT way if you are asking yourselves that), she is also very active on social media, specially on Instagram, I, on the other hand, am not to fond of it, only uploading photos from time to time when I travel or an occasional group photo with family or friends, I am also ver goofy, doing sometimes stupid sh*t with my friends to get a few laughs. A few weeks ago while doing stupid sh*t I caught her recording me while doing this, I specifically asked her to not upload it anywhere since I’m not comfortable with that, she said she wouldn’t but then proceded to post it behind my back on her account with 95 followers (way more people than I comfortable with, I’m an introvert), when I found out I confronted her but since I’m not really a confrontational person she managed to calm me down and I let it slide, asking her to please not do it again. Last Thursday I had lunch with her and she recorded me again, when I noticed I asked her to not upload it anywhere but she insisted and I conceded to let her send it to a friend (I know it was a mistake looking back, but I’m bad at saying know since I spent most of my school and high-school almost completely alone and getting bullied). Yesterday I saw she had posted it, enraged that she had broken my trust again after clearly stating my boundaries I told her to f*ck off and that she could go f*ck herself, that she has no right to post what I do with my friends as a tourist attraction, that I am not for show and she had no right posting it and stepping over my boundaries like that. Am I the asshole for snapping at her like that? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*