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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I like playing my music loudly during the day. My neighbour is complaining but I think I should be aloud to enjoy my flat.
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YTA. Part of apartment living is learning to respect the fact that you cohabitate with others in a shared building. If your music is loud enough that it can be heard outside or from the apartment downstairs, it's too loud. I get it- I also like to listen to music throughout the day too, but you can very well get a cheap pair of headphones.
You're right- it IS your flat, but it's not your building. You need to learn to be considerate.
>Part of apartment living
Not only apartment living, but living on this planet. The houses in my neighborhood sit on one acre lots but we all are respectful of each other. The neighbor to my right drives a very loud motorcycle but he always walks it down to the end of his driveway when he is departing in the wee hours of the morning. Nobody had to ask him to do this. Some things are common sense and don't have to be asked on reddit
Our guy does it either at 2am or he’ll rev and idle over and over for 30-45 mins around 10 am, which is when I have most of my work calls.
Plus we have randomly launching a single firework for no reason a few times a week after 10 pm guy.
We live in a house in the suburbs but unlike many houses nearby ours is pretty old so you can’t really hear stuff through the walls even from room to room. That doesn’t stop the mariachi-parties-until-3-am-but-only-on-Sunday-night house which two TWO! doors down but I can hear it in every room with all the windows closed. I’m an easy going person. I understand the world does not revolve around my babies and their nap schedules. I even like mariachi music, not my culture, but I can vibe with it. But WHY THE FUCK only Sundays until the wee hours? Do none of you have to work on Monday? I can handle 3 am party music on Fridays and saturdays. Hell I could even handle Thursdays. But Sunday is _right out_.
Maybe they work in a restaurant and have Mondays off. Many restaurants are closed Mondays (Tuesdays are second most) so Sunday nights are party nights for employees.
They used to be called SIN nights - Service Industry night, because Sunday was the Friday or Saturday night for those working in service industries :) In Boston, a lot of the clubs made a big deal about Sundays.
Don't forget noise sensitive adults. The fireworks are almost physically painful for me, and I'm pretty mildly noise sensitive autistic. For people with ear damage of some sort? I can only imagine.
You're right, and I didn't think PTSD either. I have a friend who had a grenade go off a few meters from him (luckily opposite side of a wall), and used to work with a guy who was in Bosnia during the war and Sarajevo within days of the seige ending. Neither are huge fans of people's private July fourth celebrations.
We had people shooting of full sized fireworks during the pandemic constantly. I know the cost went down and in VA you don't need a special license. But good much money did they have? 😯🤷
One of our neighbors used to do that *a lot*. One day, the revving set off our glass break alarm, at which point we sucked it up and told him about it. The guy was embarrassed. Somehow, it had not occurred to him that other people could hear the engine. IDK how he missed that, but the important thing is that he never revved his engine in populated areas again. It has been years.
We had some teenagers who (illegally) drove their four wheelers on our road and onto Conservation trails. They would race on our dead end road.
One day I simply had it. I was done. My baby was napping. I put on my shoes to give them a talking to! Instead, my husband told me to sit down “I’ll deal with it”. He walked outside, saw the dad, politely explained that our baby was napping. That guy apologized profusely, thanked my husband for being friendly and kind, called his teenagers over, they left and literally never came back on our street again (though we did hear them in the woods)
Kindness matters!
Your neighbor sucks.
Didn’t the neighbour address this directly the first time in a kind/reasonable way? OP just ignored them. Then they asked again…
It’s not as if the neighbours are retaliating or being unkind. They’ve just raised it again. And if they can’t hear their tv then it must be really loud.
My motorcycle guy revs it up in our shared alley.
MF doesn't even live in the other building, he just stores the bike there bc they're the owner's friend.
I used to live next to someone who would rev his motorcycle engine in the driveway at 11pm. Wouldn't go anywhere. Just would take it out of his garage into the driveway and rev the engine and then put it back in the garage. At least once a week, maybe twice a week.
Hate that crap, like I get that sometimes you have to start it and just let it idle sometimes (I’ve had to do it with mine and my car) but it’s not that hard to do it at a decent hour at least
Life is so much easier when neighbors do their best not to step on each other's toes within reason.
Yes, you're allowed to have a dog; but I appreciate it when you keep the barking to a minimum. In exchange, I'll close my windows when I play my banjo in the evening, since I know you didn't sign up to listen to banjo music day in and day out. Yes, this is my house and I should be able to play my banjo; but there are things I can do to make it a little lighter on everyone else who did not choose the banjo today.
The alternative is a world where everyone is just subjected to everyone's everything all the time. Leaf blowing? Motorcycles? Aggressive/reactive dogs, domestic arguments, metal band practice, bonfire smoke, loud parties, compost that attracts wild animals... there are a lot of things that, while legal, while reasonable in some circumstances, can become a big burden on those around you if you don't take care to look out for one another.
Good luck making that banjo a little lighter on everyone else. That shit cuts right through.
Source: Me. My hubby plays banjo and it’s woken me up early on a Saturday morning. He’s in his office on one end of the house and I’m in the bedroom on the opposite end, with two closed doors and a whole house between us. Lol.
They make a thing called a mute which definitely lowers the decibel level of a banjo.. my wife would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t gotten one for my banjo
I hate people like this. No one should be blasting music in apartment buildings even if it's during the day. Now more than ever when people are spending so much time home and there are so many headphone options. Reasonable volume music? Sure. Loud? Never.
In conclusion, if you wanna blast it, blast it straight to your ear holes.
My upstairs neighbour used to be like OP, just blasting music day and night. I had a constant headache because of the bass and was actively trying not to be home. Eventually, _I_ got in trouble with the landlord for complaining too much because during the day you should be able to make noise. Moved out as soon as I could and later hears from the neighbour that when the landlord had trouble finding a new tenant, he finally did something about the blasting music
I moved out because the guy below me blasted music and it came up through the floor. Could hear it over the TV. Even called security out to tell him to turn it down. when I turned in my notice i told them good luck. Live out in the country now and loving the silence
I mean, op is young. We don’t know what we don’t know. Hopefully they’ll listen and learn but not everyone is born with the same awareness of social cues and not everyone is taught either. I don’t think it’s okay to shame anyone for “no one had to ask them to do that” you have no idea if someone did when they were 20 and that’s why they know now. Dial it back a little. Op is asking. That’s a step.
Has OP lived on this planet? I’ve gotten onto my kids about their obnoxious screaming when they were little.
Occasionally what she is doing is fine, but by her own admission this is all the damned time and LOUD!
OP is 20 years old. How is that young? Has no one taught them to be a considerate human being and not force their annoying habits on other people? Since we were old enough to understand, my parents would tell us off the minute we started getting too loud when we were playing in our pool or yard. And we living in a big home in the suburbs.
You have to be purely selfish and entitled to think it’s okay to play obnoxiously loud music all day with your windows open. And once the neighbour complained that should’ve been OP’s cue to apologize profusely for being so inconsiderate and turn it down, vs going online to ask why she can’t play loud music in her apartment even though it is clearly bothering ppl…
It definitely is a step, but this is golden rule stuff and they teach that in kindergarten. OP could easily attempt to put herself in her neighbor's position and ask herself if she'd like music louder than her TV that she didn't pick and has no control over playing from her neighbor's place all day.
The whole do unto others thing is especially relevant to apartment living. Push your neighbors far enough and you're liable to get a taste of your own medicine.
Agreed. Although I do think that people who are new to apartment living don't always understand how sound can carry through buildings. However, once neighbors start complaining, that should be enough of the loud activity. OP seems resistant to learning how to be a good neighbor.
BS. Your rights stop where someone else's begin. She knows she is bothering these people, they've told her, and she could care less. She is one if the biggest AH on reddit. If she's over 6 years old, she should get it.
I listen to music when I'm working if my windows are open and I'm working early while they might be sleeping I make sure it's not loud to hear for me not to be rude to neighbors that might be sleeping. You never know when you might need their help. YTA
Also, "if I have to turn it down I might as well have stayed at home" is a pretty good indication that you're being extremely inconsiderate. Your parents make you keep the music down so that THEY can hear themselves think and focus on other things. If you're turning music up to a point where your parents at home would've objected, guaranteed your neighbors will object.
You mistakenly thought you'd be living alone or just with your bf when you moved out. But that's wrong; now you're living with strangers called neighbors, and you actually have to treat them better, in some ways, than your own family bc they won't negotiate with you. If you piss them off enough, OP, the walls are just as thin going the other way; the windows are just as open. And they can blast noise just as well as you can, except at times when YOU don't want to hear it. Just grow up and get headphones already. Unless you get rich and move out to the country, you're NEVER going to be able to blast music as loud as you want all day.
>If you piss them off enough, OP, the walls are just as thin going the other way; the windows are just as open.
YES. And I'd also add that having your neighbors on your side is a blessing nobody should underestimate. A good neighbor will water your plants for you when you're away on vacation. A good neighbor will help you out in an emergency, or text you when they see someone suspicious poking around your place. A good neighbor will drop off extra holiday cookies when they make too many. A good neighbor might let you use their extra parking space when you have a friend in town visiting.
You get a good neighbor by being a good neighbor yourself. Pissing your neighbors off is the opposite of that.
I am moving to a new neighborhood in a few days and really love your comment. Hoping I can be a good neighbor and have good neighbors. I've honestly never had that relationship with neighbors.
Shout out to my neighbor who always makes us tamales for the holidays!
First ever encounter was them parked blocking our driveway. I knocked and said "howdy! I'm the new neighbor. Would you mind pulling the truck back a smidge so we could pull in?" (My momma told me "be nice!" And I said "well yeah. We've lived here for literally an hour. It's not like they knew!" Haha) They apologized because no one had lived here in a bit so they didn't know. It was no big deal. They were super cool about it. Even after three years, they always say "hey, we're having a party. Do you mind if our guests park in front? Music might be loud, but it'll be off by 11." And you can set your watch to it. 11:00, the music gets turned down.
Point is, I actually like ALL of my neighbors. It's a good feeling.
There is NOTHING smarter than just telling your neighbors when you're having a party. If you know "it's a party, they told me about it, they even invited me to stop by, and they said it'll be done by 11," you don't mind one little bit. But there's something about the inherent disrespect, of just hearing LOUD MUSIC and having no idea when it'll be over, that gets you all riled up and annoyed.
This exactly! Our neighbors made a blanket for our baby they haven’t even met.
It’s not hard to be considerate of the people occupying the space around you.
I have a family living on each side of me.
One is nothing but kind and I leave them fresh baked sourdough whenever I bake. We share home grown vegetables. We talk often about keeping an eye on things during vacations or doing neighborhood clean up events or just things going on in life.
The other has a leaf blower and a reactive barky dog (“dogs bark, what can you do?”) and feels entitled to my owned parking spot (which I chase them out of), and they don’t get shit from me.
I love my neighbors. They give me extra tomatoes from their garden. They snowblow our sidewalk if it snows. I shovel for them if we get ice or really wet snow. We watch their property in the summer because they go away every weekend. Mow part of my other neighbors yard when I mow mine. They help me when I’m raking leaves. We gave them wood for their fireplace.
I've been an apartment dweller my entire adult life. For annoying, loud neighbors who refuse to play their music at a reasonable volume or at inappropriate hours?
My preferred "payback" torture is Walker's "Die Walküre" played at maximum volume at 9 AM. I've also had good luck using Corvis Corax's "Cantus Buranus". That one is especially effective after late night loud parties. I guess kettle drums and bagpipes at full volume aren't too enjoyable with a hangover.
hehehehehe
I had neighbours being inconsiderate late on a weeknight, disturbing us, and the other neighbours with a young baby.
6am, when I knew the baby was up, I decided to enjoy my breakfast with some bagpipe music...
I had them once as well, while living with my parents. I had the only room on the backside of the house. 2-3x a week, drinking beer (glas bottles in a crate) in their garden until 2-3 AM, because they didn't had to work. I did a morning newspaper round and was done at 7AM. I went mad once on a hot night (the night you want to keep your windows open as long as possible to cool down a bit before sunrise) and decided to mow the lawn.... With a brush cutter (normally only used to cut the borders). They all slept on the back of their house, within 1 minute I heard 3 windows being closed with a loud bang. Petty? Yes. But don't considering your neighbours is bad.
Where I live now I have small children beside me. I'm still renovating my house. Legally, I can make noise from 7AM till 10PM. I don't. I try to stop at a reasonable time, had a lunch/nap break in the noon. Didn't always worked out and sometimes I plainly forgot, but I tried. When my neighbour was pregnant and I had a contractor working, he went to them and told them to warm him when she went into labour. They would stop the soonest possible and give them a bit of silence, as being in labour is bad enough, but also having construction noise around makes it hell.
No one will complain when you play your music on a bit louder than normal volume half an hour or such or do it with a song you like. But the whole day? OP, YTA.
The neighbours at my parents current place have a big piano that gets played daily. My mom loves it. They have a dog. As she gets older, she starts to bark a bit more. The neighbours don't complain, because that is what dogs do, they bark sometimes.
Yeah that bit sounded super bratty to me. Like OP seriously thought that moving out of her parents house meant she no longer had to take anyone else into account???
Plus, if she hasn’t been allowed to play loud music all day at her parents house, and she’s only just recently moved out, this can hardly be a real need for her. She survived 20 years without it, she can keep surviving without it. Or get headphones, which is presumably what she used before.
I have news for you… we have just as annoying noises out in the country, they are just different - you can go out and tell the cows to be quiet all you want, but they are terrible listeners and won’t be neighbourly at all! 🙃
I love when people say “move to the country!” when you don’t like city noise. As if the country doesn’t have its fair share of machinery, farm animas, engine revving, gunshots, untrained dogs… if you’re lucky it’s at a distance, at least, but there are no guarantees!
And even out in the country, that urge goes away. I was a big music blaster growing up, my house is in the country and I’d rather listen to the noises out here than blast my music anymore
A neighbour one fly of stairs higher in my building had the same reasoning 'its my house so I can do what I want'; yeah, but not as soon as what you do crosses into other houses. I asked him why he didn't wear headphones. 'Because if I play it this loud on my headphones I will go deaf'. Dear neighbour, you're going deaf this way as well...
Hijacking to say that if OP is annoying enough and rack enough complaints it's a garantuee her landlord will not reneaw the contract or be a positive reference.
OP - your parents tolerate your music because they love you. Your neighbours don't. There's certain noises you have to deal with in apartments (like vacuuming) but I would be livid if you blasted music all day long. Get earbuds.
I'm so relieved to see this after the recent post where a lot of people argued that running a blender or vacuum at midnight is fine. It's not hard to be decent to others.
In my last apartment, the lady above me loved to vacuum at 2am on weekdays. It was NOT fine. She played loud music at all hours and stomped when she walked. In my current apartment I am on the top floor now. I try to step lightly and vacuum in the afternoon when it's less likely to disturb.
I mean it can make your ears sore but honestly you can play music at a normal volume that you don't need to wear headphones. Why does the music need to be on bust all day??
Except it's not HER flat, it's a flat she gets to inhabit as long as she pays for the right to do so and abides by the stipulations laid down in the lease. One of which, at least wherever I've rented, is keeping your noise to a non-nuisance level.
i came across a decent quote that I think fits here:
Your freedom ends where mine begins.
So flip the situation... If you feel like they would be the AH... Well you have your answer
ETA: YTA
Adding on to this, you need to make nice and apologize. Go to the bakery and buy something good for her to nibble upon while she watches her shows. It is amazing how far a little sugar can go.
For real. Buy a house on the outskirts of town if you wanna be as loud as you want. Until then, you have to learn to be respectful of others and people deserve peace and quiet. I would be livid if I could hear my neighbor's music ALL DAY.
This. OP, I ADORE loud music, but I don't play it in my house because... I have neighbors. They also don't play loud music, which I appreciate. We all adjust our lives a little so EVERYONE can enjoy their homes.
I can't even imagine how loud her music must be playing. I listen to music frequently in my home through the day as well, and sometimes it's REALLY loud. I've noticed if I go out my back door, even if all my windows are open, I can barely hear it. Earbuds aren't even necessary... Just turn it down to a normal level!
This! I listen to music in my bedroom sometimes quite loud from my laptop and my dad can barely hear it from downstairs, let alone outside. If I close my bedroom door he can only hear it muffled. Makes me wonder just how loud she’s listening to her music. If it’s that loud how does she even hear herself think!
I live in my parents basement and my living room is connected to theirs with an open stairway. I thought I listened to my TV loud but I can barely hear it when I walk up the stairs... I can’t imagine how loud OP is
Eh. My apartment has super thin walls. I can hear my upstairs neighbor walk, use the bathroom, talk, play music, laugh, watch TV, anything. If it’s summer and we both have our windows open I can tell exactly what it is (I know he watched the new GoT on Sunday), but even in winter it’s still muffled noise and bass.
But he does turn it off past 9, generally, and it’s usually not so loud that it disrupts whatever I’m doing.
I love loud music and if I want to listen to something it's in my vehicle on the highway (away from residential areas) or I use headphones with a decent sound quality.
YTA, respect your neighbours. They at least talked to you up front rather than filing a complaint about you.
YTA - Get some headphones, for crying out loud. Your landlord, who is undoubtedly about to get put in the middle of this, will undoubtedly show your the clause in your lease that forbids you from disrupting the Quiet Enjoyment that other tenants have a right to on their property. In many states in the US (if not all) you can be evicted for aggressive disruption of other tenant's rights like this.
Having your first Big Girl apartment doesn't mean you can legally self-centeredly be a total asshole and impose yourself in other people's spaces. You have to learn, when you grow up a little, how to be a citizen and that it requires you to recognize the rights and well-being of others.
"I don't like being bullied but I'm willing to listen to others as this is the first time I've lived away from home."
First of all, no one is bullying you. at all.
Second, since you're new at living on your own, unless you have a detached house that doesn't share a wall with others, yeah, you can't listen to music as loud as you want.
YTA.
Based on OP’s comments, she’s not actually willing to listen to others and has an excuse for everything. The one that got me was when multiple people asked why she won’t wear headphones and she said because it doesn’t sound the same.
Then OP should invest in a good set of headphones. I've had a few pairs myself, all of which had *incredible* sound quality. Like so good that I've noticed things I haven't in songs I've listened to for years.
OP sounds like these 2 girls who lived below me in my first apartment. Late-night parties on Sunday night, running through the hallways yelling (even though they didn't live on my floor), smoking so much weed that it was seeping through *our* vents, playing bass-heavy music, bringing in a stray cat that infested the building with fleas....
And then when they moved out, they left a note on my door calling *me* a shitty neighbor. I just wanted to be able sleep in a quiet, flea-free bed.
YTA. You mentioned that if you should be able to listen to music as you like or you would have stayed at home. So your parents didn't like music blasting all day, either. You have to realize that everyone has the right to live in peace. If you're blasting music all day and into the night, it gets stressful and makes life miserable for others. You're being disrespectful and your attitude is so selfish. And you're not being "bullied", don't mistake aggravation and exasperation with bullying.
YTA. Just lower the volume. It's not that difficult. I typically play music in my house at a volume that allows for normal conversation close to the speaker.
Factoring in that she considers others asking her for some respect and common decency as "being bullied", I think she's a neighbour from hell in the making.
Honestly I live next door to 4 small kids of whose favourite game is making inhuman screeching sounds, and I’d still take them over a neighbour that plays music loudly all day
seriously! and her neighbors (not even the one complaining) could still be working from home! When I was in lockdown I absolutely complained to my landlord about music so loud that I could hear my windows rattling. There's no reason for that, especially since my building doesn't have palatial flats that would require extreme volume to reach every corner.
I have a neighbor who was blasting music so loud I couldn't watch TV, but they turned it down when I asked without an attitude. Like a normal member of a society
" I don't feel like I should have to turn it down during the day as it my flat and I should be able to listen to my music as I like."
there you go....... that's the excuse of every anti-social fucker out there that does the same thing.... it''s my home and i'll do what i want.
fair enough..... but it's THEIR home your music carries over to you moron. Why on Earth should your taste in music and wants trump theirs? Do you consider yourself more important or above social norms and etiquette?
I'll add something to this... I spent my late teenage/early twenties living in a barrack block with other service people.
Living like that is like a short, sharp lesson in respecting other people's space and limited privacy. Consistently playing loud music wouldn't get you internet fame or cool points..... it'd get you taken outside on the grass and having your head kicked in off everyone you'd
pissed off. Do you really want to be the person all your neighbours dislike to that extent?
YTA
Part of living with other people is realizing there are compromises. When playing your music in the house, you shouldn't be able to hear it standing outside. If you want to blast it, got earbuds/headphones. Apologize to your neighbors and understand it isn't all about you.
YTA, you're not being bullied, you're being disrespectful to others and being a self-entitled AH. Just because it's "your" flat, doesn't mean everyone needs to listen to "your" music. Guess you should have stayed at home since you can't respect other people. Get some headphones!
You're not being bullied, you're being YTA. Turn down your music or wear ear buds or head phones. Be a good neighbor. Right now you're being intrusive.
And selfish and inconsiderate. At least turn down the volume otherwise move back home. When you live in a flat you can’t do what you want. Learn some respect. before they complain to the landlord and you get evicted. YTA
YTA. “My flat and I should be able to listen to music as I like”. Here’s another one for you: it’s their flat and they should be able to hear their tv, put their kids down for an afternoon nap, or just not have to listen to your music all day. Get a Bluetooth head set or ear buds and consider yourself lucky they came to you directly instead of filing an official complaint to get you evicted.
YTA…just because you like listening to loud music all day, doesn’t mean your neighbors do, it’s called respecting others. When you live next to each other, you need to be mindful because not everyone has the same schedule and they may be sleeping. I’m not saying not play your music, but you don’t have to disturb others all day by blasting music. Otherwise buy a house.
YTA
You’ve got to be considerate of your neighbours. I’d understand if it was occasional but to torture them at all times of the day and night is downright rude! If anyone is a bully here, it is you for expecting them to put up with your constant racket
YTA. Maybe instead of listening to music All Day Long, you get a frigging job so you aren't home alone all day, needing non-stop music? Your replies are all the same so you have no true justification for playing loud music all day, every day other than 'you want to coz this is MY First ~~Pony~~...apartment/flat.
"otherwise I might as well have stayed at home". LOL. How frigging childish does this sound? hahahahaha
You Don't Feel Like I Should Have To Turn It Down....omg. Please say this is rage bait and not some extremely immature playing House before they are adult enough to do it. SMH.
YTA. While it's legal to make noise during the day you're definitely an a-hole, your neighbor's have the same right as you to enjoy their homes and their day... But you seem like you don't care. If you want to listen to music do it only loud enough for *you* to hear or even using headphones, no one else should be forced to listen to your music mate, and you thinking so makes you an entitled kid.
YTA
You decided to move into a flat that has other people in the same building. You need to respect other people and not play your music so loud. A great compromise for this would be to wear headphones instead of blasting the music, that way everybody wins.
YTA...Imagine music you don't like playing at loud volumes all day. You've admitted that it's loud, so turn it down a bit. You share this world with other people. Be a good neighbour, you may need their help one day.
YTA. Obviously in a flat you will hear noise but loud music shouldn't be one of those noises. Get a pair of headphones/earphones or keep it to a level that can't be easily heard outside your flat, even with windows open.
This is a major respect issue.
Your attitude in your responses shows you’re too immature to live on your own in shared wall type situation. Apartment/flat living is different than living in your own home. In that you have to be extra mindful of your very close neighbors.
“I might as well have stayed at home”. Damn your poor fam. TBH they are prolly throwing a party, enjoying a new lease on life after you moved out.
Turn your damn music down. And if you need to get your yayas out, go for a drive once in a while on some country roads w the music blaring.
YTA, if they can’t hear their TV your music is too loud. Turn it down so you can only hear it from one room over at most or only listen out loud on occasion. I listen to my music loud but I live in a whole house, part of living in an apartment or shared house is being considerate. You can use headphones, use a blue tooth speaker that is portable so you can move it throughout the flat with you at a reasonable volume, or stop listening at all hours of the day.
YTA. Just turn it down. It's not that hard. When I play music at home, I usually keep the volume low enough to be able to have a normal conversation next to the speaker.
YTA, I'm in my early twenties and I even don't do this. Turn your music down or shut the windows. Have you even been in a common area where you find the music irritating like an elevator or lobby, imagine living right next to the speaker. Quit being an AH and grow up.
Yta, there is a difference between playing music at a reasonable volume and playing music loud. You now have neighbors in a close proximity. You need to exercise a bit of respect.
YTA. You have shared living space now and your neighbors don’t appreciate that you have to listen to music all day long in order to function somehow. Having been that neighbor that has to listen to loud TVs and loud musics at all hours of the day or night yes it’s annoying and YTA. Some people like quiet and they shouldn’t have to be subjected to your music all day long. You could always use headphones.
YTA
As someone who lives in an apartment building where neighbors play music so loud it vibrates my apartment I can completely understand where they are coming from. I play music in my own apartment but it can’t be heard by neighbors to the point it’s disruptive. If you like your music to be played that loud headphones are the way to go. Not everyone likes listening to music all day and/or might not share the same taste in music. You aren’t being bullied in my opinion because anywhere you move if you have neighbors and are blasting music you are going to have problems. The world doesn’t revolve around just one person.
you just moved in and the neighbors are already complaining - what an awesome neighbor you must be - turn down the music and try to respect your neighbors
Bluetooth speakers are cheap and you can even buy the ones that link together.
Place one in each room.
Then turn down the music.
If it can be clearly heard while standing outside of your apartment door, then it’s too loud.
This could get you evicted because I’m sure your lease agreement has something to that effect and you are in violation.
YTA. When you live with neighbors close by, you should do the neighborly thing and try and be respectful of their ability to enjoy their space and they should hopefully do the same. Try turning the music down, and maybe use headphones part of the day. If they were blasting their TV all the time or having loud arguments that interfered with your enjoyment of your property. you'd have an issue with that. Believe me, you don't want a bad relationship with your neighbors if it can be avoided. That's when the tit-for-tat starts, and everyone is miserable.
I live in a building that's designated for people who are 55 years old and older. As a result, there's a fair share of people with hearing problems. Even so, the House Rules state that you can't crank up the tv to a level that it bothers the neighbors, even though we're talking about a disability here. You always have to keep in mind how your actions affect others.
YTA.
>During the day my music is quite loud
So you already know your music is being too loud, yet you continue to play it at the same volume. Not only in your private house, but a FLAT.
This may be the very first time you live away from home, but you do have common sense, right? You have as much right as to listen to your music, as others have the right to NOT have to listen to YOUR music from the privacy of their flat.
Keep it down to normal volumes. Or invest in a headset and blast your eardrums to smithereens that way.
Living away from home is all about respecting your neighbors. Just because you're at home, doesn't mean you don't need to be conscious about the neighbors.
How would you feel if one of your night-owl insomniac neighbors decides to blast their music during your sleeping hours?
If your neighbors can't hear their TV above your music, you're being a inconsiderate neighbor. And don't be surprised if they complain to your landlord with a noise complaint.
> I don't like being bullied
You're not being bullied. You're **being** the bully. There is some basic household noises that you'll always hear in a flat ; people entering the hallway, chairs being moved, people moving on their floor.
Those are **normal** sounds.
However, blasting your music all day at an unnecessary loud volume is **NOT** normal. Your neighbors are being kind enough to not call the police to complain about your music.
In case it wasn't clear OP
YTA
YTA If your parents/family/whoever you lived with before don’t like the volume level, chances are your building neighbors won’t either. Adults don’t just get to do what they want and screw anyone else opinion.
Edit to add judgement
YTA. Either listen w earphones or atleast close the windows and turn it down. Youre allowed to liste to music in your own flat but only if its not a disturbance to the others.
YTA and the massive entitlement / lack of empathy / sheer self-centredness from your comments makes you even more so.
Get earphones, even though you don't like them so much. It feels like you're biting your nose off to spite your face by not using headphones.
You can do it the whole day from sunup to sundown however that's not being polite to neighbors. Especially with all windows open.
There's always earbuds so you can enjoy your music.
Edit...
I originally did a vote. After seeing your arrogant ignorant and pompous replies, massive YTA on an epic scale.
Literally everyone has said YTA and yet you continue to argue your point. You asked us and we answered you. You’re being extremely inconsiderate of your neighbors and acting like the world revolves around you. Part of becoming an adult is learning how to be respectful of those around you. Clearly you aren’t adult enough to be renting an apartment if you havent learned basic human respect.
Since you're new to this, let me share some other stuff that you should be aware of and moderate accordingly.
- How heavily you stomp around in an upstairs flat. See also: dropping things on your floor
- Slamming doors, windows, and cabinets
- all noises made during intimate encounters, especially if your furniture bumps against a wall, double plus if your windows are open
- your speaking voice, especially during arguments, phonecalls, and when you are under the influence of intoxicants
- television volume, especially during action movies (although one of my neighbors watched "Cocktail" on a loop and that was a special kind of hell)
- cooking smells
- smoke
- what hours you entertain friends, and how many folks you pack into your space
Enjoy communal living.
YTA How self centred are you that you don’t see this as a problem? If you want to go blast music go live rural. I think your just blasting the music because you think it’s “cool” and you want to get attention. Talk about having no respect and being self absorbed!
YTA
noone's bullying you, they asked you to turn down your music because despite what you think, it absolutely is annoying and obnoxious hearing a neighbour's loud music 24/7.
Not everyone likes your music
Noone wants to hear it outside your apartment
Have some basic empathy and consideration for your neighbour and invest in headphones or just cut back and listen a couple hours a day. Your neighbour deserves to be able to enjoy their apartment sometimes as well.
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YTA. Part of apartment living is learning to respect the fact that you cohabitate with others in a shared building. If your music is loud enough that it can be heard outside or from the apartment downstairs, it's too loud. I get it- I also like to listen to music throughout the day too, but you can very well get a cheap pair of headphones. You're right- it IS your flat, but it's not your building. You need to learn to be considerate.
>Part of apartment living Not only apartment living, but living on this planet. The houses in my neighborhood sit on one acre lots but we all are respectful of each other. The neighbor to my right drives a very loud motorcycle but he always walks it down to the end of his driveway when he is departing in the wee hours of the morning. Nobody had to ask him to do this. Some things are common sense and don't have to be asked on reddit
Wish my neighbor was considerate with his, hes reving it and going up and down the road past midnight :(
Same. up and down the same damn road... and revs it constantly :(
Someone in my apartment complex woke my baby up last night reving his bike in the parking lot at 3 am 🙂
Our guy does it either at 2am or he’ll rev and idle over and over for 30-45 mins around 10 am, which is when I have most of my work calls. Plus we have randomly launching a single firework for no reason a few times a week after 10 pm guy.
We live in a house in the suburbs but unlike many houses nearby ours is pretty old so you can’t really hear stuff through the walls even from room to room. That doesn’t stop the mariachi-parties-until-3-am-but-only-on-Sunday-night house which two TWO! doors down but I can hear it in every room with all the windows closed. I’m an easy going person. I understand the world does not revolve around my babies and their nap schedules. I even like mariachi music, not my culture, but I can vibe with it. But WHY THE FUCK only Sundays until the wee hours? Do none of you have to work on Monday? I can handle 3 am party music on Fridays and saturdays. Hell I could even handle Thursdays. But Sunday is _right out_.
Maybe they work in a restaurant and have Mondays off. Many restaurants are closed Mondays (Tuesdays are second most) so Sunday nights are party nights for employees.
They used to be called SIN nights - Service Industry night, because Sunday was the Friday or Saturday night for those working in service industries :) In Boston, a lot of the clubs made a big deal about Sundays.
Maybe it's a family that owns a restaurant or a salon. A lot of restaurants and salons are closed on Mondays.
Yes! What is with the random fireworks lately? Is someone out there like, "Hmmm. Let me see how many animals and small children I can scare today?"
Don't forget noise sensitive adults. The fireworks are almost physically painful for me, and I'm pretty mildly noise sensitive autistic. For people with ear damage of some sort? I can only imagine.
You're right. I also should have included people who suffer from PTSD.
You're right, and I didn't think PTSD either. I have a friend who had a grenade go off a few meters from him (luckily opposite side of a wall), and used to work with a guy who was in Bosnia during the war and Sarajevo within days of the seige ending. Neither are huge fans of people's private July fourth celebrations.
We had people shooting of full sized fireworks during the pandemic constantly. I know the cost went down and in VA you don't need a special license. But good much money did they have? 😯🤷
Ahh my favorite game, firework or gunshot.
One of our neighbors used to do that *a lot*. One day, the revving set off our glass break alarm, at which point we sucked it up and told him about it. The guy was embarrassed. Somehow, it had not occurred to him that other people could hear the engine. IDK how he missed that, but the important thing is that he never revved his engine in populated areas again. It has been years.
Wow. At least he reacted well. Could have gone wayyy the other way
We had some teenagers who (illegally) drove their four wheelers on our road and onto Conservation trails. They would race on our dead end road. One day I simply had it. I was done. My baby was napping. I put on my shoes to give them a talking to! Instead, my husband told me to sit down “I’ll deal with it”. He walked outside, saw the dad, politely explained that our baby was napping. That guy apologized profusely, thanked my husband for being friendly and kind, called his teenagers over, they left and literally never came back on our street again (though we did hear them in the woods) Kindness matters! Your neighbor sucks.
Didn’t the neighbour address this directly the first time in a kind/reasonable way? OP just ignored them. Then they asked again… It’s not as if the neighbours are retaliating or being unkind. They’ve just raised it again. And if they can’t hear their tv then it must be really loud.
My motorcycle guy revs it up in our shared alley. MF doesn't even live in the other building, he just stores the bike there bc they're the owner's friend.
Now that really sucks.
I used to live next to someone who would rev his motorcycle engine in the driveway at 11pm. Wouldn't go anywhere. Just would take it out of his garage into the driveway and rev the engine and then put it back in the garage. At least once a week, maybe twice a week.
Hate that crap, like I get that sometimes you have to start it and just let it idle sometimes (I’ve had to do it with mine and my car) but it’s not that hard to do it at a decent hour at least
Life is so much easier when neighbors do their best not to step on each other's toes within reason. Yes, you're allowed to have a dog; but I appreciate it when you keep the barking to a minimum. In exchange, I'll close my windows when I play my banjo in the evening, since I know you didn't sign up to listen to banjo music day in and day out. Yes, this is my house and I should be able to play my banjo; but there are things I can do to make it a little lighter on everyone else who did not choose the banjo today. The alternative is a world where everyone is just subjected to everyone's everything all the time. Leaf blowing? Motorcycles? Aggressive/reactive dogs, domestic arguments, metal band practice, bonfire smoke, loud parties, compost that attracts wild animals... there are a lot of things that, while legal, while reasonable in some circumstances, can become a big burden on those around you if you don't take care to look out for one another.
Ok, but I'd enjoy your banjo music.
Good luck making that banjo a little lighter on everyone else. That shit cuts right through. Source: Me. My hubby plays banjo and it’s woken me up early on a Saturday morning. He’s in his office on one end of the house and I’m in the bedroom on the opposite end, with two closed doors and a whole house between us. Lol.
They make a thing called a mute which definitely lowers the decibel level of a banjo.. my wife would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t gotten one for my banjo
I hate people like this. No one should be blasting music in apartment buildings even if it's during the day. Now more than ever when people are spending so much time home and there are so many headphone options. Reasonable volume music? Sure. Loud? Never. In conclusion, if you wanna blast it, blast it straight to your ear holes.
My upstairs neighbour used to be like OP, just blasting music day and night. I had a constant headache because of the bass and was actively trying not to be home. Eventually, _I_ got in trouble with the landlord for complaining too much because during the day you should be able to make noise. Moved out as soon as I could and later hears from the neighbour that when the landlord had trouble finding a new tenant, he finally did something about the blasting music
I moved out because the guy below me blasted music and it came up through the floor. Could hear it over the TV. Even called security out to tell him to turn it down. when I turned in my notice i told them good luck. Live out in the country now and loving the silence
I mean, op is young. We don’t know what we don’t know. Hopefully they’ll listen and learn but not everyone is born with the same awareness of social cues and not everyone is taught either. I don’t think it’s okay to shame anyone for “no one had to ask them to do that” you have no idea if someone did when they were 20 and that’s why they know now. Dial it back a little. Op is asking. That’s a step.
Has OP lived on this planet? I’ve gotten onto my kids about their obnoxious screaming when they were little. Occasionally what she is doing is fine, but by her own admission this is all the damned time and LOUD!
OP is 20 years old. How is that young? Has no one taught them to be a considerate human being and not force their annoying habits on other people? Since we were old enough to understand, my parents would tell us off the minute we started getting too loud when we were playing in our pool or yard. And we living in a big home in the suburbs. You have to be purely selfish and entitled to think it’s okay to play obnoxiously loud music all day with your windows open. And once the neighbour complained that should’ve been OP’s cue to apologize profusely for being so inconsiderate and turn it down, vs going online to ask why she can’t play loud music in her apartment even though it is clearly bothering ppl…
You gotta think either her parents were super lax or they are now dacing with joy to finally have peace a d quiet
It definitely is a step, but this is golden rule stuff and they teach that in kindergarten. OP could easily attempt to put herself in her neighbor's position and ask herself if she'd like music louder than her TV that she didn't pick and has no control over playing from her neighbor's place all day. The whole do unto others thing is especially relevant to apartment living. Push your neighbors far enough and you're liable to get a taste of your own medicine.
Agreed. Although I do think that people who are new to apartment living don't always understand how sound can carry through buildings. However, once neighbors start complaining, that should be enough of the loud activity. OP seems resistant to learning how to be a good neighbor.
BS. Your rights stop where someone else's begin. She knows she is bothering these people, they've told her, and she could care less. She is one if the biggest AH on reddit. If she's over 6 years old, she should get it.
Not an excuse. I had sense enough about this before I was 10 years old.
Your neighbor sounds like a cool guy
He's awesome. Whenever I'm baking, I make an extra dozen cookies for him.
I listen to music when I'm working if my windows are open and I'm working early while they might be sleeping I make sure it's not loud to hear for me not to be rude to neighbors that might be sleeping. You never know when you might need their help. YTA
Can your neighbour talk to my louder than all get out neighbour with his motorcycle? that's so considerate of yours.
Your neighbor is a prince. That’s very cool of him.
Also, "if I have to turn it down I might as well have stayed at home" is a pretty good indication that you're being extremely inconsiderate. Your parents make you keep the music down so that THEY can hear themselves think and focus on other things. If you're turning music up to a point where your parents at home would've objected, guaranteed your neighbors will object. You mistakenly thought you'd be living alone or just with your bf when you moved out. But that's wrong; now you're living with strangers called neighbors, and you actually have to treat them better, in some ways, than your own family bc they won't negotiate with you. If you piss them off enough, OP, the walls are just as thin going the other way; the windows are just as open. And they can blast noise just as well as you can, except at times when YOU don't want to hear it. Just grow up and get headphones already. Unless you get rich and move out to the country, you're NEVER going to be able to blast music as loud as you want all day.
>If you piss them off enough, OP, the walls are just as thin going the other way; the windows are just as open. YES. And I'd also add that having your neighbors on your side is a blessing nobody should underestimate. A good neighbor will water your plants for you when you're away on vacation. A good neighbor will help you out in an emergency, or text you when they see someone suspicious poking around your place. A good neighbor will drop off extra holiday cookies when they make too many. A good neighbor might let you use their extra parking space when you have a friend in town visiting. You get a good neighbor by being a good neighbor yourself. Pissing your neighbors off is the opposite of that.
I am moving to a new neighborhood in a few days and really love your comment. Hoping I can be a good neighbor and have good neighbors. I've honestly never had that relationship with neighbors.
Shout out to my neighbor who always makes us tamales for the holidays! First ever encounter was them parked blocking our driveway. I knocked and said "howdy! I'm the new neighbor. Would you mind pulling the truck back a smidge so we could pull in?" (My momma told me "be nice!" And I said "well yeah. We've lived here for literally an hour. It's not like they knew!" Haha) They apologized because no one had lived here in a bit so they didn't know. It was no big deal. They were super cool about it. Even after three years, they always say "hey, we're having a party. Do you mind if our guests park in front? Music might be loud, but it'll be off by 11." And you can set your watch to it. 11:00, the music gets turned down. Point is, I actually like ALL of my neighbors. It's a good feeling.
There is NOTHING smarter than just telling your neighbors when you're having a party. If you know "it's a party, they told me about it, they even invited me to stop by, and they said it'll be done by 11," you don't mind one little bit. But there's something about the inherent disrespect, of just hearing LOUD MUSIC and having no idea when it'll be over, that gets you all riled up and annoyed.
This exactly! Our neighbors made a blanket for our baby they haven’t even met. It’s not hard to be considerate of the people occupying the space around you.
I have a family living on each side of me. One is nothing but kind and I leave them fresh baked sourdough whenever I bake. We share home grown vegetables. We talk often about keeping an eye on things during vacations or doing neighborhood clean up events or just things going on in life. The other has a leaf blower and a reactive barky dog (“dogs bark, what can you do?”) and feels entitled to my owned parking spot (which I chase them out of), and they don’t get shit from me.
I love my neighbors. They give me extra tomatoes from their garden. They snowblow our sidewalk if it snows. I shovel for them if we get ice or really wet snow. We watch their property in the summer because they go away every weekend. Mow part of my other neighbors yard when I mow mine. They help me when I’m raking leaves. We gave them wood for their fireplace.
Yep. God forbid OP has a neighbor that loves mowing the lawn at 6am. They are out there.
If I was OPs neighbour, I'd learn to love mowing the lawn at 6am. And I don't even have a lawn
I've been an apartment dweller my entire adult life. For annoying, loud neighbors who refuse to play their music at a reasonable volume or at inappropriate hours? My preferred "payback" torture is Walker's "Die Walküre" played at maximum volume at 9 AM. I've also had good luck using Corvis Corax's "Cantus Buranus". That one is especially effective after late night loud parties. I guess kettle drums and bagpipes at full volume aren't too enjoyable with a hangover. hehehehehe
A steel band
I had neighbours being inconsiderate late on a weeknight, disturbing us, and the other neighbours with a young baby. 6am, when I knew the baby was up, I decided to enjoy my breakfast with some bagpipe music...
I had them once as well, while living with my parents. I had the only room on the backside of the house. 2-3x a week, drinking beer (glas bottles in a crate) in their garden until 2-3 AM, because they didn't had to work. I did a morning newspaper round and was done at 7AM. I went mad once on a hot night (the night you want to keep your windows open as long as possible to cool down a bit before sunrise) and decided to mow the lawn.... With a brush cutter (normally only used to cut the borders). They all slept on the back of their house, within 1 minute I heard 3 windows being closed with a loud bang. Petty? Yes. But don't considering your neighbours is bad. Where I live now I have small children beside me. I'm still renovating my house. Legally, I can make noise from 7AM till 10PM. I don't. I try to stop at a reasonable time, had a lunch/nap break in the noon. Didn't always worked out and sometimes I plainly forgot, but I tried. When my neighbour was pregnant and I had a contractor working, he went to them and told them to warm him when she went into labour. They would stop the soonest possible and give them a bit of silence, as being in labour is bad enough, but also having construction noise around makes it hell. No one will complain when you play your music on a bit louder than normal volume half an hour or such or do it with a song you like. But the whole day? OP, YTA. The neighbours at my parents current place have a big piano that gets played daily. My mom loves it. They have a dog. As she gets older, she starts to bark a bit more. The neighbours don't complain, because that is what dogs do, they bark sometimes.
You'd just be out there at the crack of dawn "mowing" the concrete out of spite!
And OP thinks they’re being bullied 🙄
Headphones are not only a ridiculously simple solution, but the music will also probably sound *better*
Yeah that bit sounded super bratty to me. Like OP seriously thought that moving out of her parents house meant she no longer had to take anyone else into account??? Plus, if she hasn’t been allowed to play loud music all day at her parents house, and she’s only just recently moved out, this can hardly be a real need for her. She survived 20 years without it, she can keep surviving without it. Or get headphones, which is presumably what she used before.
I have news for you… we have just as annoying noises out in the country, they are just different - you can go out and tell the cows to be quiet all you want, but they are terrible listeners and won’t be neighbourly at all! 🙃
When people learn roosters don’t only crow in the morning, lol.
Especially roosters with a speech impediment who stubbornly keeps trying to sound…. normalish..
I love when people say “move to the country!” when you don’t like city noise. As if the country doesn’t have its fair share of machinery, farm animas, engine revving, gunshots, untrained dogs… if you’re lucky it’s at a distance, at least, but there are no guarantees!
And even out in the country, that urge goes away. I was a big music blaster growing up, my house is in the country and I’d rather listen to the noises out here than blast my music anymore
Also, OP you need to look up the definition of bullying! A neighbor asking you to turn it down is a reasonable, adult reaction! YTA
I came here looking for this. This is not bullying!
If anything, her being obnoxiously loud with the music after being asked to bring it down is bullying.
Apparently she’s playing it loudly and non-stop until 7 if she’s home. I would lose my mind if I lived there
and then "tones it down after 7". I can bet that not only the neighbors ,but half of the street can hear her when she has the windows open.
But only turns it down a bit SMH
The OPs lease isn’t being renewed. I wouldn’t be surprised if the other tenants are complaining to the landlord already.
Yep. If you “have” to have it loud to enjoy then put on headphones. Otherwise keep it at indoor talking levels.
A neighbour one fly of stairs higher in my building had the same reasoning 'its my house so I can do what I want'; yeah, but not as soon as what you do crosses into other houses. I asked him why he didn't wear headphones. 'Because if I play it this loud on my headphones I will go deaf'. Dear neighbour, you're going deaf this way as well...
Hijacking to say that if OP is annoying enough and rack enough complaints it's a garantuee her landlord will not reneaw the contract or be a positive reference. OP - your parents tolerate your music because they love you. Your neighbours don't. There's certain noises you have to deal with in apartments (like vacuuming) but I would be livid if you blasted music all day long. Get earbuds.
Yes, this.. your rights stop where theirs begin.... Its a life lesson you learn quickly as an adult.
I'm so relieved to see this after the recent post where a lot of people argued that running a blender or vacuum at midnight is fine. It's not hard to be decent to others.
In my last apartment, the lady above me loved to vacuum at 2am on weekdays. It was NOT fine. She played loud music at all hours and stomped when she walked. In my current apartment I am on the top floor now. I try to step lightly and vacuum in the afternoon when it's less likely to disturb.
I have to always remind myself of the vacuum part simply because when I have insomia I clean .
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I mean it can make your ears sore but honestly you can play music at a normal volume that you don't need to wear headphones. Why does the music need to be on bust all day??
Except it's not HER flat, it's a flat she gets to inhabit as long as she pays for the right to do so and abides by the stipulations laid down in the lease. One of which, at least wherever I've rented, is keeping your noise to a non-nuisance level.
Also headphones? YTA
I don’t understand why they don’t use wireless headphones? Then they can blast the music as loud as they want
Because, according to them, that would be uncomfy. And they can’t be uncomfy.
I just physically rolled my eyes at this
i came across a decent quote that I think fits here: Your freedom ends where mine begins. So flip the situation... If you feel like they would be the AH... Well you have your answer ETA: YTA
Adding on to this, you need to make nice and apologize. Go to the bakery and buy something good for her to nibble upon while she watches her shows. It is amazing how far a little sugar can go.
For real. Buy a house on the outskirts of town if you wanna be as loud as you want. Until then, you have to learn to be respectful of others and people deserve peace and quiet. I would be livid if I could hear my neighbor's music ALL DAY.
This. OP, I ADORE loud music, but I don't play it in my house because... I have neighbors. They also don't play loud music, which I appreciate. We all adjust our lives a little so EVERYONE can enjoy their homes.
If only there were like headphones earbuds.
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YTA There is no reason to play music so loud that your neighbors can't hear their TV. Get Bluetooth earbuds and stop being such an annoying neighbor.
I can't even imagine how loud her music must be playing. I listen to music frequently in my home through the day as well, and sometimes it's REALLY loud. I've noticed if I go out my back door, even if all my windows are open, I can barely hear it. Earbuds aren't even necessary... Just turn it down to a normal level!
This! I listen to music in my bedroom sometimes quite loud from my laptop and my dad can barely hear it from downstairs, let alone outside. If I close my bedroom door he can only hear it muffled. Makes me wonder just how loud she’s listening to her music. If it’s that loud how does she even hear herself think!
It sounds like she listens at concert level. I would hate to hear my neighbors non stop...
This, she might need music, some people need quiet. My neighbors can be pretty loud on the weekends but at least it isn't non-stop, I'd go insane.
I live in my parents basement and my living room is connected to theirs with an open stairway. I thought I listened to my TV loud but I can barely hear it when I walk up the stairs... I can’t imagine how loud OP is
Eh. My apartment has super thin walls. I can hear my upstairs neighbor walk, use the bathroom, talk, play music, laugh, watch TV, anything. If it’s summer and we both have our windows open I can tell exactly what it is (I know he watched the new GoT on Sunday), but even in winter it’s still muffled noise and bass. But he does turn it off past 9, generally, and it’s usually not so loud that it disrupts whatever I’m doing.
I love loud music and if I want to listen to something it's in my vehicle on the highway (away from residential areas) or I use headphones with a decent sound quality. YTA, respect your neighbours. They at least talked to you up front rather than filing a complaint about you.
And if it's something with bass they can feel. Ugh. OP admitting that it's loud to start makes her an even bigger AH.
YTA - Get some headphones, for crying out loud. Your landlord, who is undoubtedly about to get put in the middle of this, will undoubtedly show your the clause in your lease that forbids you from disrupting the Quiet Enjoyment that other tenants have a right to on their property. In many states in the US (if not all) you can be evicted for aggressive disruption of other tenant's rights like this. Having your first Big Girl apartment doesn't mean you can legally self-centeredly be a total asshole and impose yourself in other people's spaces. You have to learn, when you grow up a little, how to be a citizen and that it requires you to recognize the rights and well-being of others.
"I don't like being bullied but I'm willing to listen to others as this is the first time I've lived away from home." First of all, no one is bullying you. at all. Second, since you're new at living on your own, unless you have a detached house that doesn't share a wall with others, yeah, you can't listen to music as loud as you want. YTA.
Came here to find this. I rolled my eyes so hard at “bullied” that they almost fell out of my head. Give me a break.
Yeah me too. Playing the victim of being bullied. With that mindset she is bullying her neighbours with her loud music.
Based on OP’s comments, she’s not actually willing to listen to others and has an excuse for everything. The one that got me was when multiple people asked why she won’t wear headphones and she said because it doesn’t sound the same.
You nailed it. OP is behaving very entitled and needs to learn they aren’t the center of the universe. Take my award.
Then OP should invest in a good set of headphones. I've had a few pairs myself, all of which had *incredible* sound quality. Like so good that I've noticed things I haven't in songs I've listened to for years.
Exactly!! Like?? It sounds so much better!!??
Headphones always sound better lol. No background noise to cover up the more subtle instruments.
Seriously. People asking her to be considerate of others is “bullying” to this girl? She’s gonna have a tough life
OP sounds like these 2 girls who lived below me in my first apartment. Late-night parties on Sunday night, running through the hallways yelling (even though they didn't live on my floor), smoking so much weed that it was seeping through *our* vents, playing bass-heavy music, bringing in a stray cat that infested the building with fleas.... And then when they moved out, they left a note on my door calling *me* a shitty neighbor. I just wanted to be able sleep in a quiet, flea-free bed.
If I had an award you would have it. Would love to hear ops definition of bullying.
YTA Get headphones or earbuds if you want listen to your music all day and night.
YTA. You mentioned that if you should be able to listen to music as you like or you would have stayed at home. So your parents didn't like music blasting all day, either. You have to realize that everyone has the right to live in peace. If you're blasting music all day and into the night, it gets stressful and makes life miserable for others. You're being disrespectful and your attitude is so selfish. And you're not being "bullied", don't mistake aggravation and exasperation with bullying.
[удалено]
Exactly. A lot of children on Reddit who just want other children to validate their bad behavior
That's how I feel half of these posts play out. So many of them are so incredibly N T A that I don't think they should even be allowed on here.
I also would love to know the answer to this. INFO: Who pays rent? Do you have a job?
Hmmm i wonder why op wasn’t allowed to play music at home
YTA. Just lower the volume. It's not that difficult. I typically play music in my house at a volume that allows for normal conversation close to the speaker.
YTA and the type of neighbour people dread having
Factoring in that she considers others asking her for some respect and common decency as "being bullied", I think she's a neighbour from hell in the making.
Lol I was thinking the same thing, OP is the bully here...the fact she is offended is funny
She’s the bully!!
Honestly I live next door to 4 small kids of whose favourite game is making inhuman screeching sounds, and I’d still take them over a neighbour that plays music loudly all day
YTA It's their flat too and if it's so loud they can't hear the TV, you're being obnoxious.
I've been in lockdown and I hated it when the neighbor was blaring their music on. Didn't help that they were also in lockdown (next to us).
seriously! and her neighbors (not even the one complaining) could still be working from home! When I was in lockdown I absolutely complained to my landlord about music so loud that I could hear my windows rattling. There's no reason for that, especially since my building doesn't have palatial flats that would require extreme volume to reach every corner.
I have a neighbor who was blasting music so loud I couldn't watch TV, but they turned it down when I asked without an attitude. Like a normal member of a society
" I don't feel like I should have to turn it down during the day as it my flat and I should be able to listen to my music as I like." there you go....... that's the excuse of every anti-social fucker out there that does the same thing.... it''s my home and i'll do what i want. fair enough..... but it's THEIR home your music carries over to you moron. Why on Earth should your taste in music and wants trump theirs? Do you consider yourself more important or above social norms and etiquette?
I'll add something to this... I spent my late teenage/early twenties living in a barrack block with other service people. Living like that is like a short, sharp lesson in respecting other people's space and limited privacy. Consistently playing loud music wouldn't get you internet fame or cool points..... it'd get you taken outside on the grass and having your head kicked in off everyone you'd pissed off. Do you really want to be the person all your neighbours dislike to that extent?
YTA Part of living with other people is realizing there are compromises. When playing your music in the house, you shouldn't be able to hear it standing outside. If you want to blast it, got earbuds/headphones. Apologize to your neighbors and understand it isn't all about you.
You're allowed to listen to music in your flat but not at a volume that disturbs your neighbors. YTA
YTA, you're not being bullied, you're being disrespectful to others and being a self-entitled AH. Just because it's "your" flat, doesn't mean everyone needs to listen to "your" music. Guess you should have stayed at home since you can't respect other people. Get some headphones!
YTA Being considerate of your neighbors is part of being an adult. Get headphones.
You're not being bullied, you're being YTA. Turn down your music or wear ear buds or head phones. Be a good neighbor. Right now you're being intrusive.
YTA. Get headphones. You sound insufferable
And selfish and inconsiderate. At least turn down the volume otherwise move back home. When you live in a flat you can’t do what you want. Learn some respect. before they complain to the landlord and you get evicted. YTA
YTA. As soon as your music can be heard outside your own flat, you're disturbing a public space with it. Turn it down.
YTA. “My flat and I should be able to listen to music as I like”. Here’s another one for you: it’s their flat and they should be able to hear their tv, put their kids down for an afternoon nap, or just not have to listen to your music all day. Get a Bluetooth head set or ear buds and consider yourself lucky they came to you directly instead of filing an official complaint to get you evicted.
YTA use earbuds. Lower the music, close the windows.
YTA…just because you like listening to loud music all day, doesn’t mean your neighbors do, it’s called respecting others. When you live next to each other, you need to be mindful because not everyone has the same schedule and they may be sleeping. I’m not saying not play your music, but you don’t have to disturb others all day by blasting music. Otherwise buy a house.
YTA You’ve got to be considerate of your neighbours. I’d understand if it was occasional but to torture them at all times of the day and night is downright rude! If anyone is a bully here, it is you for expecting them to put up with your constant racket
YTA. Maybe instead of listening to music All Day Long, you get a frigging job so you aren't home alone all day, needing non-stop music? Your replies are all the same so you have no true justification for playing loud music all day, every day other than 'you want to coz this is MY First ~~Pony~~...apartment/flat. "otherwise I might as well have stayed at home". LOL. How frigging childish does this sound? hahahahaha You Don't Feel Like I Should Have To Turn It Down....omg. Please say this is rage bait and not some extremely immature playing House before they are adult enough to do it. SMH.
YTA. While it's legal to make noise during the day you're definitely an a-hole, your neighbor's have the same right as you to enjoy their homes and their day... But you seem like you don't care. If you want to listen to music do it only loud enough for *you* to hear or even using headphones, no one else should be forced to listen to your music mate, and you thinking so makes you an entitled kid.
YTA Yes, you should turn your music down if it's disturbing people. Get some earbuds if you need it that loud.
YTA You decided to move into a flat that has other people in the same building. You need to respect other people and not play your music so loud. A great compromise for this would be to wear headphones instead of blasting the music, that way everybody wins.
YTA...Imagine music you don't like playing at loud volumes all day. You've admitted that it's loud, so turn it down a bit. You share this world with other people. Be a good neighbour, you may need their help one day.
YTA Fans, noise-cancelling earbuds, air conditioners, noise canceling headphones, etc. The world is not your private nightclub.
Exactly. You'd think 2 years of lockdowns would have taught people that...
YTA. Obviously in a flat you will hear noise but loud music shouldn't be one of those noises. Get a pair of headphones/earphones or keep it to a level that can't be easily heard outside your flat, even with windows open.
This is a major respect issue. Your attitude in your responses shows you’re too immature to live on your own in shared wall type situation. Apartment/flat living is different than living in your own home. In that you have to be extra mindful of your very close neighbors. “I might as well have stayed at home”. Damn your poor fam. TBH they are prolly throwing a party, enjoying a new lease on life after you moved out. Turn your damn music down. And if you need to get your yayas out, go for a drive once in a while on some country roads w the music blaring.
YTA- get some headphones! Be a good neighbor.
YTA, if they can’t hear their TV your music is too loud. Turn it down so you can only hear it from one room over at most or only listen out loud on occasion. I listen to my music loud but I live in a whole house, part of living in an apartment or shared house is being considerate. You can use headphones, use a blue tooth speaker that is portable so you can move it throughout the flat with you at a reasonable volume, or stop listening at all hours of the day.
Yta Grow up
YTA. Just turn it down. It's not that hard. When I play music at home, I usually keep the volume low enough to be able to have a normal conversation next to the speaker.
YTA, I'm in my early twenties and I even don't do this. Turn your music down or shut the windows. Have you even been in a common area where you find the music irritating like an elevator or lobby, imagine living right next to the speaker. Quit being an AH and grow up.
Yta, there is a difference between playing music at a reasonable volume and playing music loud. You now have neighbors in a close proximity. You need to exercise a bit of respect.
Get headphones dude. YTA
YTA. Just turn it down to a volume that doesn’t ruin other people’s day.
YTA. You have shared living space now and your neighbors don’t appreciate that you have to listen to music all day long in order to function somehow. Having been that neighbor that has to listen to loud TVs and loud musics at all hours of the day or night yes it’s annoying and YTA. Some people like quiet and they shouldn’t have to be subjected to your music all day long. You could always use headphones.
YTA As someone who lives in an apartment building where neighbors play music so loud it vibrates my apartment I can completely understand where they are coming from. I play music in my own apartment but it can’t be heard by neighbors to the point it’s disruptive. If you like your music to be played that loud headphones are the way to go. Not everyone likes listening to music all day and/or might not share the same taste in music. You aren’t being bullied in my opinion because anywhere you move if you have neighbors and are blasting music you are going to have problems. The world doesn’t revolve around just one person.
YTA. get a pair of headphones. close the windows. turn it down. there’s so many ways you can enjoy music without harassing your neighbours
you just moved in and the neighbors are already complaining - what an awesome neighbor you must be - turn down the music and try to respect your neighbors
You’re playing obnoxiously loud music all the time with no regard to the lives of those near to you, and you think you’re the one being bullied? YTA
Bluetooth speakers are cheap and you can even buy the ones that link together. Place one in each room. Then turn down the music. If it can be clearly heard while standing outside of your apartment door, then it’s too loud. This could get you evicted because I’m sure your lease agreement has something to that effect and you are in violation.
YTA. When you live with neighbors close by, you should do the neighborly thing and try and be respectful of their ability to enjoy their space and they should hopefully do the same. Try turning the music down, and maybe use headphones part of the day. If they were blasting their TV all the time or having loud arguments that interfered with your enjoyment of your property. you'd have an issue with that. Believe me, you don't want a bad relationship with your neighbors if it can be avoided. That's when the tit-for-tat starts, and everyone is miserable.
I live in a building that's designated for people who are 55 years old and older. As a result, there's a fair share of people with hearing problems. Even so, the House Rules state that you can't crank up the tv to a level that it bothers the neighbors, even though we're talking about a disability here. You always have to keep in mind how your actions affect others. YTA.
YTA. Did you ever hear about headphones?
>During the day my music is quite loud So you already know your music is being too loud, yet you continue to play it at the same volume. Not only in your private house, but a FLAT. This may be the very first time you live away from home, but you do have common sense, right? You have as much right as to listen to your music, as others have the right to NOT have to listen to YOUR music from the privacy of their flat. Keep it down to normal volumes. Or invest in a headset and blast your eardrums to smithereens that way. Living away from home is all about respecting your neighbors. Just because you're at home, doesn't mean you don't need to be conscious about the neighbors. How would you feel if one of your night-owl insomniac neighbors decides to blast their music during your sleeping hours? If your neighbors can't hear their TV above your music, you're being a inconsiderate neighbor. And don't be surprised if they complain to your landlord with a noise complaint. > I don't like being bullied You're not being bullied. You're **being** the bully. There is some basic household noises that you'll always hear in a flat ; people entering the hallway, chairs being moved, people moving on their floor. Those are **normal** sounds. However, blasting your music all day at an unnecessary loud volume is **NOT** normal. Your neighbors are being kind enough to not call the police to complain about your music. In case it wasn't clear OP YTA
YTA buy headphones
YTA. Would you do it at home with your parents around? No? Then don't do it out there. Earphones exist for a reason.
YTA, if your neighbors can hear the music. Have you ever heard of headphones?
Bullied? LMAO YTA
YTA. This is why god invented earphones.
YTA. You’re disrespecting your neighbors You’re also not being bullied. You need to grow the fuck up
YTA. It's not your flat, it's yours *and* theirs. Turn your music down or wear headphones.
YTA. You're sharing spaces with others, you need to respect others. Adjust the volume on your music.
TIL some people think being bullied = being asked to be considerate.
YTA. Blasting music has been used as a torture method in some countries.
YTA and grow the hell up Hope one day when you're older you have to deal with someone like you are now
YTA If your parents/family/whoever you lived with before don’t like the volume level, chances are your building neighbors won’t either. Adults don’t just get to do what they want and screw anyone else opinion. Edit to add judgement
YTA. Either listen w earphones or atleast close the windows and turn it down. Youre allowed to liste to music in your own flat but only if its not a disturbance to the others.
YTA and the massive entitlement / lack of empathy / sheer self-centredness from your comments makes you even more so. Get earphones, even though you don't like them so much. It feels like you're biting your nose off to spite your face by not using headphones.
You can do it the whole day from sunup to sundown however that's not being polite to neighbors. Especially with all windows open. There's always earbuds so you can enjoy your music. Edit... I originally did a vote. After seeing your arrogant ignorant and pompous replies, massive YTA on an epic scale.
Literally everyone has said YTA and yet you continue to argue your point. You asked us and we answered you. You’re being extremely inconsiderate of your neighbors and acting like the world revolves around you. Part of becoming an adult is learning how to be respectful of those around you. Clearly you aren’t adult enough to be renting an apartment if you havent learned basic human respect.
Waiting for the update post.. “AITA for yelling at my neighbour for causing my landlord to evict me”
Since you're new to this, let me share some other stuff that you should be aware of and moderate accordingly. - How heavily you stomp around in an upstairs flat. See also: dropping things on your floor - Slamming doors, windows, and cabinets - all noises made during intimate encounters, especially if your furniture bumps against a wall, double plus if your windows are open - your speaking voice, especially during arguments, phonecalls, and when you are under the influence of intoxicants - television volume, especially during action movies (although one of my neighbors watched "Cocktail" on a loop and that was a special kind of hell) - cooking smells - smoke - what hours you entertain friends, and how many folks you pack into your space Enjoy communal living.
YTA How self centred are you that you don’t see this as a problem? If you want to go blast music go live rural. I think your just blasting the music because you think it’s “cool” and you want to get attention. Talk about having no respect and being self absorbed!
YTA noone's bullying you, they asked you to turn down your music because despite what you think, it absolutely is annoying and obnoxious hearing a neighbour's loud music 24/7. Not everyone likes your music Noone wants to hear it outside your apartment Have some basic empathy and consideration for your neighbour and invest in headphones or just cut back and listen a couple hours a day. Your neighbour deserves to be able to enjoy their apartment sometimes as well.
Yta - turn it down or wear head phones. People like you suck the peace out of the world.