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I met mine in a shady bar. I was exactly 20 and he was 35. Yes he was a total loser, but in my dumb mind he was hot as fuck so who cares. I was head over heels.
I'm 38 now. It was by far the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life, as pretty much everything that we warn younger women about came true. I'm even grateful I miscarried his baby.
I absolutely just CRINGE in embarrassment about it
I don’t remember where I picked up the phrase, “If you’re going to insult me, at least do it properly,” but both times that I’ve used it, I’ve enjoyed surprise Pikachu faces lol
To Whom It May Concern:
I hope this email finds you well.
The purpose of me contacting you is to provide you with a rigorous estimation of your sexual prowess, vis a vis our sex last night.
First of all, our corporate culture is one of excellent head game. While we value all blow jobs, we have determined that this is an area for improvement. Please log into our intranet and review the resources available.
Secondly, we embrace transparency, so in the future moaning and (preferably) screaming would be greatly appreciated.
Finally, we value a culture of "Yes." Please avoids words like, "No, stop and don't," otherwise known as the "Eazy E Three" during future intercourse.
We value your input. Do not hesitate to contact us for other ways you can improve our experience.
Best Regards,
Your Creepy Boyfriend
I thought men wanted a virgin.... what is going on here? you either want an inexperience person (virgin) or you want someone that knows what they are doing (non virgin)
these men need to make up what they want
One man got this and posted about it on Reddit because he was obsessively worried she had lied about not having sex. Even if they have their cake and eat it too, they pout 🙄
I think they are so unhappy because they have conflicting expectations. they expect a virgin (no skills) and good sex! I believe they have been sold the idea that virgins are better and when confronted with reality their brains can't handle it.
Seriously. It annoys me so much and I laugh at some of the toxic masculinity that breeds that mentality.
Virgins shouldn't be prized because they are virgins but that's the patriarchy for you.
Women are just objects of lust for some shitty men and not actual human beings with their own experiences and needs....
They want to abuse women. That's why it's so contradictory. They're not looking for partners or lovers, that is just an alibi. They want powerless victims they can abuse with impunity. Using sex to that end gives them the most plausible cover.
These people don't see other people as people, they are very self-centered and immature and all the problems in their lives have to be because of an external force.
This is exactly what they want, virgins who they can put down and feel powerful over. He still was able to cum, so he knows the sex will eventually get better for him and she’ll feel bad abt herself for not being enough for him.
Ugh yes, this. I have no problem with age gaps in general but with someone that young it's just... The guy is a slime ball.
I'm 34, and when I see a 20 year old, they pretty much look like a high schooler to me. I cannot imagine pursuing one romantically. Maybe pursuing them to let them know their shoe is untied, or to remind them to go to a doctor for that cough. Sheesh.
Yeah when both are above 25 it's not that big of a deal. But a full grown adult (I don't count anyone under 25 as one) with basically a baby adult..yikes
I feel that same way. Unsurprisingly, someone in a different sub tried to drag me for “virtue signaling that hard.” Sorry, not sorry that anyone without a fully developed brain looks like a kid to me now that I’m in my 30s
I'm 22 and I still find it creepy even without the developed brain. How can you look at someone in undergrad college i your 30s and think yes I should date them?
Yeah there’s just such a big gap mentally. And plus, imagine being over 25 and not being able to sit in the bar (in the US) because your date isn’t even 21 yet. The youngest person in my friend group is still shy of 21 and whenever we’re all trying to hang out, it’s always like “well any bar venue is ruled out because the child is in tow.” I can’t imagine viewing someone that young as anything but a kid.
Maybe it’s a gay thing but the first time with my now-husband just involved a lot of giggling because we really didn’t know what we were doing. Like, sex ed classes were geared towards heterosexual experiences, so we just kinda made things up. It was amazing and a cherished memory of ours.
My people!! I love laughing in bed with my husband. I've said this to others and they look at me so confused, one even said "I would be so hurt if you laughed at me." But like ??? I'm not laughing at my husband. I am laughing with my husband because I queefed or he went in for a high five after making me orgasm! Like sex is hilarious, my husband also hilarious, and me well i'm a comedic genius so why wouldn't we laugh in bed???
Right? Like at the end of the day we’re just a bunch of monkey off-shoots messing around with our privates cause it feels good, no need to take it super seriously all of the time in a safe, secure relationship
My boyfriend and I crack jokes and silly commentary and it makes sex just a lot better, not to mention when I or my boyfriend insist for putting on the stupidest music ever as background. Or because when I don't finish, I finish myself and I'm often cold so he's like "You want the blanket of shame ?" (Called this because this way I can be hidden and cause he didn't finish me lol)
I think the insane societal beliefs about feminine virginity honestly do make the first time shitty for a lot of women who have their first time with a man. Like your "virginity" is such a big deal, that even if you have a partner that you like and who respects you, it can feel really nerve-racking and like you are somehow altering some core defining feature of your identity. For some people it def makes giggling (and just actually getting to enjoy sharing the experience with someone, making it your own) difficult.
I hope it's changing for younger folks and I hope it's something I can help my kids to see differently.
LITERALLY part of the reason people are wary of huge age gaps like this. Older people specifically targeting younger ones to manipulate and abuse them like this. The boyfriend mentioned in the original post is LEGIT saying "don't tell me to stop it ruins the mood". Dude that is straight up rape at that point, and the poor girl is anxious about not "doing better" after the dude just **straight up said let me rape you because that's hotter to me than your comfort or well-being.**
Definitely tell a guy to stop if you feel uncomfortable! If his mood isn't destroyed through your bad feeling, but through telling him about it. He's an asshole.
Haven’t you heard? Women are feminine. And loving anything feminine is gay. So loving women is gay.
Real straight men only love their fellow, non-feminine bros.
/s
I mean I'm an aromantic/heterosexual dude, so I don't romantically love them, but I do think anyone I schtupp should be treated with respect. If they want input I'll provide it, but an unsolicited itemized list after the fact seems dickish, even if what was on here wasn't.
Basically he said, “you suck. If you don’t like it, let me sexually assault you and do whatever I want to you. Also I don’t care what you want, it’s all about me.”
15 year age difference between a grown man and an adult who can't drink yet. This is the type of relationship where the dude yells at her then calls her a pet name at the end, as if it makes it better.
"Six reasons why you weren't as good at sex as you allegedly could be. Number five will make you want to hunt this idiot down and beat him with his own shoes"
He’s an idiot. I agree with all other comments but I want to comment on the fact that there are 2 #6s. So, doofus, tell her to “get better shaving” yet you can’t number things correctly. Too much for your big brain…
This makes me really, really angry. I’m a 37 year old woman, and the thought of hooking up with a 20 year old virgin makes me feel ill. Giving her “notes” is so disgusting on top of it
Please leave period. It is ALL about him and only him!! Send him a list 1. Make me cum 2. Make sure I am wet enough it doesn’t hurt me. 3. Anything you do to me (anal, toys, etc) I do yo you at my choosing. 4. Not sure if he ate you but he. He would have to give you good if he wants good from you. Need to make noise so I know what you like. 5. You are far from a virgin which means you should be attentive, teaching best sex possible.
But please just leave him!!
5 and 6 (the first one) are absolutely disgusting. Obviously the whole thing is horrible but those two points make me so afraid for her and anyone woman around that piece of shit
That poor girl!! I cannot even imagine! What a manipulative monster that man is, he knows exactly what he's doing, being with a woman so young and inexperienced - the audacityto say those things to her in such a terrible unsupportive way! I hope she gets away from him ASAP. What a piece of shit.
"Dont tell me to stop it kills the mood" im sorry your orgasm is more important than yknow not hurting the girl you're having sex with?? Some people really want a living sex toy to fuck as they please
By the title I thought she really made a mistake like, idk, blinked her pussy and almost chopped off his dick(I never had sex, dont know how it works) , but no, it's just: be better...according to my preferences.
Huh? *HUH?*
She needs to get the fuck away from him what the fucking fuck. First the age gap is kinda weird, second he’s just trying to force her to and shame her into things he wants what the fuck is this shit.
Her choosing a man like him should be the first mistake he listed down. Hopefully, she has broken up with this man already. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
A proper response
1. Be sexier. Nobody likes a manipulative jerk.
2. Your aftercare is weak. Look it up.
3. Don't be a bad teacher. My first time having sex with you taught me nothing.
4. You'll need to get better at brushing your teeth.
5. Don't go so fast with a virgin. I know you're small, but it still hurts, especially if you don't do any forplay.
6. Don't push a girl past what she's comfortable with.
6. Pretty sure your favorite porn is of shy girls, so I'm calling cap.
7. Learn to count.
I mean...her boyfriend is 15 years older, did he think she would be a goddess of sex on her first time ? I still accidentally bite my partner's during head like dude, come on
First off, what a creep. Second off, he couldn't even get her off and is still giving her "advice". And third (my personal input on the topic), is that the whole point of sex is that it requires 2 (or more) people. Your doing it together, its something you both want and its never gonna be perfect on your first time (even a few after it still wont) it takes time to get good and learn what you and your partner enjoy. Its like getting to know the person for the first time, when you first start dating its akward, but after a while you learn more about them and get more comfortable. Even if its a one night stand, you should still have some respect for the person who is being really vulnerable with you. it's disgusting to be so demanding and self centered like that, especially for something so intimate.
I’m not easily triggered (in the medical sense) but this made me physically sick. It’s such a special kind of twisted and manipulative, I pray to Hera she shot the guy into oblivion.
Oof didn't even notice the age gap. But yeahhhhh, dude has a porn addiction. He CLEARLY wants a porn star and got mad when she didn't do skillful/exaggerated things. She's not the "virgin" that suddenly has experience like in those videos. And if she was two years younger, this would even lean into the popular "Barely Legal" category. Red flag so huge it wraps around the earth 10 times.
I don't think any group of people want to claim that guy as one of theirs.....guys aren't all like this, and I feel soooo sorry for people who experience stuff like this (of any gender identity)
Personally, I think it's important to have this type of conversation, but emphasis on *conversation*.
Each person should have the time and space to express their needs and wants around intimacy, it's important to maintaining trust and respect. It's how you open up opportunities to explore, too. I think this is imperative when one or both partners haven't had sex before, especially. You have no idea what you're doing, getting feedback helps not only understand your partner better, but understand yourself, and gain confidence.
But not like this. This isn't to grow a relationship, it's for a man demanding everything he wants, and refusing to give anything back. He doesn't want to see her grow in her sexuality, he doesn't want her to know what she wants, he doesn't want her to actually enjoy it. He wants to mastrubate with someone else's body.
Eta: to be clear, what happened in the post isn't a conversation between two partners, it's one shaming and chastising the other. I saw a number of comments talking about that, so I didn't feel the need to add. My goal was to talk about what *should* happen, because not everyone knows that.
A text messaging listing out shit like ‘your head game needs a lot of work’ isn’t remotely comparable to an actual discussion around sex.
Connecting this screenshot to a healthy conversation about sex with a partner is honestly disturbing and insulting to me. You’re conflating two entirely disparate things for no real reason.
I don’t think is anywhere near the type of conversation that you’re suggesting folks have.
I think a comment conflating the two things is dangerous.
>But not like this. This isn't to grow a relationship, it's for a man demanding everything he wants, and refusing to give anything back. He doesn't want to see her grow in her sexuality, he doesn't want her to know what she wants, he doesn't want her to actually enjoy it. He wants to mastrubate with someone else's body.
Genuinely, what in there communicates that they're the same thing?
I already explained that your opening sentence does. That’s my whole issue. I get you clarify what you mean, but your opening sentiment is just deeply uncomfortable to me and that’s essentially the thesis of your comment.
What he did is not comparable to a healthy conversation among sex partners. You open the comment directly referring to these as the same sort of conversation. They aren’t.
What happened in the post wasn't a conversation, I thought I had made the distinction there. I apologize that wasn't clear.
The point I was trying to make, was that the problem with the post isn't trying to address dissatisfaction, but being an entitled ass.
I just think your first sentence draws way too direct of a comparison between this text and a real healthy conversation.
Those are entirely different things with absolutely nothing in common outside of it being interaction and it being about sex. ‘This type of conversation’ is a pretty direct implication that the pictured conversation is at the very least the same type as a healthy one.
It’s absolutely important to discuss sex openly with your partner. And I get why you brought that up. I just don’t get why you connected it to ‘this type of conversation.’
Are they? One is someone demanding things of a sexual partner and the other is folks openly discussing their mutual sexual relations. Those are different topics to me.
It’s talking about my needs vs our needs
I’m standing by my initial assertion that the opening to your comment is essentially you saying the picture is more or less akin to a conversation about sex.
Me sending my fiancée a list of my sexual demands and me and my fiancee sitting down to discuss our sex life are two fundamentally different types of conversation. Connecting the picture to a healthy conversation at all seems unnecessary to me.
> Personally, I think it's important to have this type of conversation, but emphasis on conversation.
There may be a time and a place, but I'd say that it should at least be after a few sessions (because the first time will always be weird), and the feedback should significantly more supportive. The specific things that the guy says here are just yikes. Numbers 5 and 6 (the first number 6) in particular could not possibly be bigger red flags.
If I were in the unlikely position of being someone's first, I'd do whatever I could to make the experience about them and making them comfortable. What I want would be immaterial. I'd say that things should be mostly planned out, taken slow, as much stress removed as possible, and no expectations placed on the person who's first time it is. Go through a list of basic sex things to see what they want to try and what they want to hold off on. Sure, maybe they are or turn out to be a total kinkster eventually, but you don't need to mess with that the first time. And after that first time, you provide them aftercare, check in with them to make sure they're ok, check in with them the next day, and see when the next time they want to try is.
I do think checking in after the first time is still helpful. Maybe not everyone needs it, but establishing if there was pain or discomfort shouldn't wait until you've done it several times. Sometimes it's just not doing a position, or making sure there's more foreplay. Sometimes a thing you wanted to try *really* didn't pan out, and you don't want to do it again. Some things require multiple tries to know if you like, but not everything does.
What he did here wasn't healthy, full stop. It was entirely one-sided, and disregarded that she would even have needs, let alone respect them.
I do agree that prep is a key role. Not knowing what to expect makes sex scary, and can make speaking up significantly harder, especially in the moment.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love how like 2 of his points were "let me preach your consent!!!" Because bodily autonomy isn't sex...
Yeah basically "Saying no isn't sexy!" Like... Dude... I pray this is fake
“it turns me off when you tell me to stop!!” yeah dude, me telling you to stop is kinda me hitting the OFF switch, that’s the point
Only someone self-centered to the point of sociopathy or a psychopathy could say something like that
I'm so stabby for that creepy dude.
He should let you! Not letting you ruins the mood.
W comment
The age gap was the first red flag
Where are these 35 year old fucking men even finding these college-aged women? Are they literally prowling the local university?
I met mine in a shady bar. I was exactly 20 and he was 35. Yes he was a total loser, but in my dumb mind he was hot as fuck so who cares. I was head over heels. I'm 38 now. It was by far the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life, as pretty much everything that we warn younger women about came true. I'm even grateful I miscarried his baby. I absolutely just CRINGE in embarrassment about it
Ouff...sorry that happened to you.....
Bars near the university campuses. Source: I work at one
Just, out in the world. Speaking as a college student, we don’t spend ALL our time on campus.
They’re in Texas and Florida, of course. /s
I mean, everywhere? It’s not like society is segregated by age, plenty of 30-40 year olds live close to 20 year olds.
I met mine at an all ages rave. I was 18 he was 29. We were together for two years.
[удалено]
Predator mentality.
"Wait, there's an age ga-" *scrolls back up* "Hooooly shit, that's waaayy worse than I thought."
I know, he sounds like a teenager writing the list!
You need to get better at stabbing ;)
He’s an old creepy, sex predator. I seriously hope she breaks up with him. Nothing about this encounter was consensual. It’s disgusting.
Please let me help.
I hope he doesn't tell you to stop when your getting into it, that would really ruin the mood.
got two hands and can find some knifes. wouldn't mind stabbing an absolute asshole tonoght
I really want to go and rescue that poor girl. I'm getting very stabby, too.
I love that, I’m stealing it >:3
Dude can't even count...
Had to go back and count, that is funny.
lol yeah if you’re gonna be that demanding you gotta at least get the count right!
I don’t remember where I picked up the phrase, “If you’re going to insult me, at least do it properly,” but both times that I’ve used it, I’ve enjoyed surprise Pikachu faces lol
Mike Wazowski said something similar when Randall called him a "creetin" instead of a "cretin" so it might be from there
Yes!!! That’s it! Thank you for that source and blast from the past lol
Frustrated rapists usually don’t get up to 6, so…
I usually let my partners know what they did wrong over email. It’s way more professional
I have my lawyer draft the document and have them serve it and get a signature agreeing to my improvement plan.
My husband does the same thing, but I'm his lawyer, so it gets awkward.
To Whom It May Concern: I hope this email finds you well. The purpose of me contacting you is to provide you with a rigorous estimation of your sexual prowess, vis a vis our sex last night. First of all, our corporate culture is one of excellent head game. While we value all blow jobs, we have determined that this is an area for improvement. Please log into our intranet and review the resources available. Secondly, we embrace transparency, so in the future moaning and (preferably) screaming would be greatly appreciated. Finally, we value a culture of "Yes." Please avoids words like, "No, stop and don't," otherwise known as the "Eazy E Three" during future intercourse. We value your input. Do not hesitate to contact us for other ways you can improve our experience. Best Regards, Your Creepy Boyfriend
Dilbert gone wild!
Thanks! I hate it!
Thanks, will use it as a template next time
The least you can do is a spreadsheet if you can't be bothered with a PowerPoint presentation. I'll drop one of these /s here, just in case.
Spreadsheet is a power move because it makes it simple to then track metrics to see if they are improving.
KPI gets a whole new meaning with this one
Lol, I thought the spread sheets were the ones where you do the spreading.
Happy Friday, Team! Fix your head game. Best, Management
Google it!
Writing an academic paper about it is the only way. And don't forget to reference your sources.
I’m a fan of holding a symposium on it. Usually people cheap out on the wine though.
Real alpha males use pigeons EDIT: weird autocorrect
“To whom it may concern,”
LinkedIn, you need it tied to your career trajectory
You have no class..... I use a pigeon
Don’t forget those SMART goals!
I thought men wanted a virgin.... what is going on here? you either want an inexperience person (virgin) or you want someone that knows what they are doing (non virgin) these men need to make up what they want
They want schrödingers virgin: has never even looked at a man before but has the skills of a porn star.
One man got this and posted about it on Reddit because he was obsessively worried she had lied about not having sex. Even if they have their cake and eat it too, they pout 🙄
I remember that one! and he admitted that he was not a virgin, but the woman never said she was a virgin either.
good pussy analogy!
Yeah but if you're too good they get suspicious you're not really a virgin.
I think they are so unhappy because they have conflicting expectations. they expect a virgin (no skills) and good sex! I believe they have been sold the idea that virgins are better and when confronted with reality their brains can't handle it.
Ah, the Madonna/Whore complex. Gross.
Classic Madonna/Whore. It’s bananas to me that it’s has been literal centuries and this complex is still so prevalent in the way men view women.
Seriously. It annoys me so much and I laugh at some of the toxic masculinity that breeds that mentality. Virgins shouldn't be prized because they are virgins but that's the patriarchy for you. Women are just objects of lust for some shitty men and not actual human beings with their own experiences and needs....
"SCHRÖDINGERS VIRGIN" got me crackling
They want to abuse women. That's why it's so contradictory. They're not looking for partners or lovers, that is just an alibi. They want powerless victims they can abuse with impunity. Using sex to that end gives them the most plausible cover.
These people don't see other people as people, they are very self-centered and immature and all the problems in their lives have to be because of an external force.
This is exactly what they want, virgins who they can put down and feel powerful over. He still was able to cum, so he knows the sex will eventually get better for him and she’ll feel bad abt herself for not being enough for him.
of course. They want virgins so THEY don't feel inadequate and they can feel superior
They want virgins because they don't want their partner to be able to compare them to better lovers
that too
‘You’re not coming because of your nerves….’
They want someone who's good at sex but has no baseline to tell those chuds are terrible in the sheets.
A relationship with a large age gap involving abuse and manipulation? Who would have thought??
35 and 20 was all I had to read to know where this was going.
Ugh yes, this. I have no problem with age gaps in general but with someone that young it's just... The guy is a slime ball. I'm 34, and when I see a 20 year old, they pretty much look like a high schooler to me. I cannot imagine pursuing one romantically. Maybe pursuing them to let them know their shoe is untied, or to remind them to go to a doctor for that cough. Sheesh.
Yeah when both are above 25 it's not that big of a deal. But a full grown adult (I don't count anyone under 25 as one) with basically a baby adult..yikes
I feel that same way. Unsurprisingly, someone in a different sub tried to drag me for “virtue signaling that hard.” Sorry, not sorry that anyone without a fully developed brain looks like a kid to me now that I’m in my 30s
I'm 22 and I still find it creepy even without the developed brain. How can you look at someone in undergrad college i your 30s and think yes I should date them?
Happy to hear that you’re safe from people too old for you!
I'm aroace anyway so it's not like I can be affected lol
Yeah, at 48, I can't imagine even hooking up for one night with someone under 25 anymore, or being in a relationship with someone under 30.
I'm 26 and I feel this way. Anyone under 20 seems like a kid to me.
Yeah there’s just such a big gap mentally. And plus, imagine being over 25 and not being able to sit in the bar (in the US) because your date isn’t even 21 yet. The youngest person in my friend group is still shy of 21 and whenever we’re all trying to hang out, it’s always like “well any bar venue is ruled out because the child is in tow.” I can’t imagine viewing someone that young as anything but a kid.
Same. I'm now middle aged and people just start looking younger and younger. Like, shit- I don't see you as sexual because you look like my niece!
It checks all the Reddit Ragebait™ boxes and I'm choosing to believe it is, for my sanity's sake
Maybe it’s a gay thing but the first time with my now-husband just involved a lot of giggling because we really didn’t know what we were doing. Like, sex ed classes were geared towards heterosexual experiences, so we just kinda made things up. It was amazing and a cherished memory of ours.
That’s how things were with my wife and me too! 😁 Sex is best when it involves the occasional breaks for giggle fits!
My people!! I love laughing in bed with my husband. I've said this to others and they look at me so confused, one even said "I would be so hurt if you laughed at me." But like ??? I'm not laughing at my husband. I am laughing with my husband because I queefed or he went in for a high five after making me orgasm! Like sex is hilarious, my husband also hilarious, and me well i'm a comedic genius so why wouldn't we laugh in bed???
Right? Like at the end of the day we’re just a bunch of monkey off-shoots messing around with our privates cause it feels good, no need to take it super seriously all of the time in a safe, secure relationship
The accidental chest-farts from skin rubbing together just right is always what would set me off the most
hahahaha!!! or the real farts that sometimes slip out!!
Or warning the person who’s going down that gas is incoming, so they can come up for air lol
I once during sex had a guy tell me he was about to fart, and I was just like “The fist says no you ain’t.”
Hell yes! My wife is endlessly entertained by how smug I am after I make her orgasm 🤣
My boyfriend and I crack jokes and silly commentary and it makes sex just a lot better, not to mention when I or my boyfriend insist for putting on the stupidest music ever as background. Or because when I don't finish, I finish myself and I'm often cold so he's like "You want the blanket of shame ?" (Called this because this way I can be hidden and cause he didn't finish me lol)
Was he 175% of your age at the time? I feel like that has a huge impact here. Seems intentional.
Same. Every time we try something new we're both giggling a lot as we fumble over each other
I think the insane societal beliefs about feminine virginity honestly do make the first time shitty for a lot of women who have their first time with a man. Like your "virginity" is such a big deal, that even if you have a partner that you like and who respects you, it can feel really nerve-racking and like you are somehow altering some core defining feature of your identity. For some people it def makes giggling (and just actually getting to enjoy sharing the experience with someone, making it your own) difficult. I hope it's changing for younger folks and I hope it's something I can help my kids to see differently.
Why do I find this so fucking adorable? Edit: No pun intended, but now it is.
If you can't laugh while having sex, you're doing it wrong!
Worst part is the poor girl seems to partly blaming herself for her raging douche canoe of a boyfriend’s shitty behavior.
That’s why he picked a 20yo
Yep. Anytime there’s a post like this the ages are always lopsided and it just makes me sad.
LITERALLY part of the reason people are wary of huge age gaps like this. Older people specifically targeting younger ones to manipulate and abuse them like this. The boyfriend mentioned in the original post is LEGIT saying "don't tell me to stop it ruins the mood". Dude that is straight up rape at that point, and the poor girl is anxious about not "doing better" after the dude just **straight up said let me rape you because that's hotter to me than your comfort or well-being.**
I'm screaming at the winky face after telling her to get better at shaving. WHY!?
I can almost guarantee that dude doesn't manscape in the slightest.
Definitely tell a guy to stop if you feel uncomfortable! If his mood isn't destroyed through your bad feeling, but through telling him about it. He's an asshole.
Ewww. Just ewww. Throw the whole man out.
do men even love women
And dont forget loving a woman is gay😂 sincerly tatertot
fellas is it gay to be straight ❓🤔
Very gay
are you talking from experience????😟😟😟
I maintain just enough level of gay to be accepted by the community.
I’m so ready for that shady outage
Haven’t you heard? Women are feminine. And loving anything feminine is gay. So loving women is gay. Real straight men only love their fellow, non-feminine bros. /s
Not All Men™️
I mean I'm an aromantic/heterosexual dude, so I don't romantically love them, but I do think anyone I schtupp should be treated with respect. If they want input I'll provide it, but an unsolicited itemized list after the fact seems dickish, even if what was on here wasn't.
This is why I can only finish with real dolls whose buttholes have been sealed with caulk and airbrushed away.
Basically he said, “you suck. If you don’t like it, let me sexually assault you and do whatever I want to you. Also I don’t care what you want, it’s all about me.”
She sucks at sucking, too!
> 20F > 35M that's as far as I needed to read
This isn’t a straight thing, this is an age gap thing. Some 30 year old wants a submissive sex doll. Not a partner
Anytime I see a post where there’s a large age gap and the girl is younger than 25, I stop reading. I’ve already found the issue.
Mfs when a virgin actually doesn't know much about sex because, how surprising, they're a virgin!
this is fucking heartbreaking, reminds me of my first and second boyfriends 🤢 I hope she's cut this guy off and is doing okay
God, I hope this girl gets out unscathed
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15 year age difference between a grown man and an adult who can't drink yet. This is the type of relationship where the dude yells at her then calls her a pet name at the end, as if it makes it better.
I hoped she dumped him ASAP!
What - and I cannot emphasise this next part enough - the fuck. Poor, poor girl.
Maybe porn needs to be banned after all.
Probably picked a girl 15 years younger because no woman his own age would put up with this nonsense
"Six reasons why you weren't as good at sex as you allegedly could be. Number five will make you want to hunt this idiot down and beat him with his own shoes"
The Soviet Union didn’t have this many red flags
1: That age difference is so worrying, he has no business messing with a college age girl at 35 2: His mind is rotted by porn
He’s an idiot. I agree with all other comments but I want to comment on the fact that there are 2 #6s. So, doofus, tell her to “get better shaving” yet you can’t number things correctly. Too much for your big brain…
Ooohhh the rage this makes me feel.
Straight to jail.
This makes me really, really angry. I’m a 37 year old woman, and the thought of hooking up with a 20 year old virgin makes me feel ill. Giving her “notes” is so disgusting on top of it
Have you tried throwing the whole man out?
The amount of disgust I feel for that asshole is overwhelming
Please leave period. It is ALL about him and only him!! Send him a list 1. Make me cum 2. Make sure I am wet enough it doesn’t hurt me. 3. Anything you do to me (anal, toys, etc) I do yo you at my choosing. 4. Not sure if he ate you but he. He would have to give you good if he wants good from you. Need to make noise so I know what you like. 5. You are far from a virgin which means you should be attentive, teaching best sex possible. But please just leave him!!
Jeez, I'm straight and fuck that guy. What an asshole. That poor girl
5 and 6 (the first one) are absolutely disgusting. Obviously the whole thing is horrible but those two points make me so afraid for her and anyone woman around that piece of shit
That poor girl!! I cannot even imagine! What a manipulative monster that man is, he knows exactly what he's doing, being with a woman so young and inexperienced - the audacityto say those things to her in such a terrible unsupportive way! I hope she gets away from him ASAP. What a piece of shit.
"Dont tell me to stop it kills the mood" im sorry your orgasm is more important than yknow not hurting the girl you're having sex with?? Some people really want a living sex toy to fuck as they please
Aside from the fact that this man should swallow razors, I can guarantee her not orgasming had nothing to do with her being nervous...
EW GOD HE'S A FKING CREEEEEEP
Dude who can't count past 6 are somewhat useless anyway...
Poor girl is getting groomed
Yikes what a predator.
35 and 20 is already a little skeevy in some cases but bro is INSANELY creepy.
By the title I thought she really made a mistake like, idk, blinked her pussy and almost chopped off his dick(I never had sex, dont know how it works) , but no, it's just: be better...according to my preferences.
Half your age plus seven for fucks sake.
Huh? *HUH?* She needs to get the fuck away from him what the fucking fuck. First the age gap is kinda weird, second he’s just trying to force her to and shame her into things he wants what the fuck is this shit.
Straight here. Fuck that guy. Straight to jail. No trial. No jury. Jail.
These men always want a virgin but get mad when they get a virgin.
I'm in pure disgust rn
35???? Also damn my mouth was agape the whole time reading that. I really hope she got out of that relationship
Her choosing a man like him should be the first mistake he listed down. Hopefully, she has broken up with this man already. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
disgusting. i'm 35 and would never dream of acting this way to a 20 year old. what the fuck. who does he think he is? i hope OP ran
GIRL I FONT EVEN WANNA REQD TJIS WDYM HES 35 AND SHES 20
Oh ok, she has to learn how to be properly r worded. This is sarcasm, that dude is a creep and a potential criminal.
Don't expect much from a virgin if you're experienced 🗿, give them a break, damn it's their first timr
This exact kind of guy is the reason feminists get accused of misandry.
A proper response 1. Be sexier. Nobody likes a manipulative jerk. 2. Your aftercare is weak. Look it up. 3. Don't be a bad teacher. My first time having sex with you taught me nothing. 4. You'll need to get better at brushing your teeth. 5. Don't go so fast with a virgin. I know you're small, but it still hurts, especially if you don't do any forplay. 6. Don't push a girl past what she's comfortable with. 6. Pretty sure your favorite porn is of shy girls, so I'm calling cap. 7. Learn to count.
And suddenly I want to hurt a man I’ve never meet.
Imagine having sex with virgins and being upset that they have no idea what they’re doing.
Oh my god...
I mean...her boyfriend is 15 years older, did he think she would be a goddess of sex on her first time ? I still accidentally bite my partner's during head like dude, come on
If it makes you feel any better, it seems to be a bot account
First off, what a creep. Second off, he couldn't even get her off and is still giving her "advice". And third (my personal input on the topic), is that the whole point of sex is that it requires 2 (or more) people. Your doing it together, its something you both want and its never gonna be perfect on your first time (even a few after it still wont) it takes time to get good and learn what you and your partner enjoy. Its like getting to know the person for the first time, when you first start dating its akward, but after a while you learn more about them and get more comfortable. Even if its a one night stand, you should still have some respect for the person who is being really vulnerable with you. it's disgusting to be so demanding and self centered like that, especially for something so intimate.
I’m not easily triggered (in the medical sense) but this made me physically sick. It’s such a special kind of twisted and manipulative, I pray to Hera she shot the guy into oblivion.
Jesus Christ sweetie you’re a victim 😭
Part of me says What. The. Fuck. The other part of me shakes my head because I'm not surprised.
Oof didn't even notice the age gap. But yeahhhhh, dude has a porn addiction. He CLEARLY wants a porn star and got mad when she didn't do skillful/exaggerated things. She's not the "virgin" that suddenly has experience like in those videos. And if she was two years younger, this would even lean into the popular "Barely Legal" category. Red flag so huge it wraps around the earth 10 times.
Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with people 😦
That gross bastard. I hope she dumped his nasty ass immediately. Honestly, not doing that seems... unsafe.
I don't think any group of people want to claim that guy as one of theirs.....guys aren't all like this, and I feel soooo sorry for people who experience stuff like this (of any gender identity)
Personally, I think it's important to have this type of conversation, but emphasis on *conversation*. Each person should have the time and space to express their needs and wants around intimacy, it's important to maintaining trust and respect. It's how you open up opportunities to explore, too. I think this is imperative when one or both partners haven't had sex before, especially. You have no idea what you're doing, getting feedback helps not only understand your partner better, but understand yourself, and gain confidence. But not like this. This isn't to grow a relationship, it's for a man demanding everything he wants, and refusing to give anything back. He doesn't want to see her grow in her sexuality, he doesn't want her to know what she wants, he doesn't want her to actually enjoy it. He wants to mastrubate with someone else's body. Eta: to be clear, what happened in the post isn't a conversation between two partners, it's one shaming and chastising the other. I saw a number of comments talking about that, so I didn't feel the need to add. My goal was to talk about what *should* happen, because not everyone knows that.
A text messaging listing out shit like ‘your head game needs a lot of work’ isn’t remotely comparable to an actual discussion around sex. Connecting this screenshot to a healthy conversation about sex with a partner is honestly disturbing and insulting to me. You’re conflating two entirely disparate things for no real reason. I don’t think is anywhere near the type of conversation that you’re suggesting folks have. I think a comment conflating the two things is dangerous.
>But not like this. This isn't to grow a relationship, it's for a man demanding everything he wants, and refusing to give anything back. He doesn't want to see her grow in her sexuality, he doesn't want her to know what she wants, he doesn't want her to actually enjoy it. He wants to mastrubate with someone else's body. Genuinely, what in there communicates that they're the same thing?
I already explained that your opening sentence does. That’s my whole issue. I get you clarify what you mean, but your opening sentiment is just deeply uncomfortable to me and that’s essentially the thesis of your comment. What he did is not comparable to a healthy conversation among sex partners. You open the comment directly referring to these as the same sort of conversation. They aren’t.
What happened in the post wasn't a conversation, I thought I had made the distinction there. I apologize that wasn't clear. The point I was trying to make, was that the problem with the post isn't trying to address dissatisfaction, but being an entitled ass.
I just think your first sentence draws way too direct of a comparison between this text and a real healthy conversation. Those are entirely different things with absolutely nothing in common outside of it being interaction and it being about sex. ‘This type of conversation’ is a pretty direct implication that the pictured conversation is at the very least the same type as a healthy one. It’s absolutely important to discuss sex openly with your partner. And I get why you brought that up. I just don’t get why you connected it to ‘this type of conversation.’
They're both about the same topic, that's what I was referring to.
Are they? One is someone demanding things of a sexual partner and the other is folks openly discussing their mutual sexual relations. Those are different topics to me. It’s talking about my needs vs our needs
The topic isn't different though. Both are covering sex between the two parties. A unhealthy approach to the topic doesn't change what the topic is.
I’m standing by my initial assertion that the opening to your comment is essentially you saying the picture is more or less akin to a conversation about sex. Me sending my fiancée a list of my sexual demands and me and my fiancee sitting down to discuss our sex life are two fundamentally different types of conversation. Connecting the picture to a healthy conversation at all seems unnecessary to me.
> Personally, I think it's important to have this type of conversation, but emphasis on conversation. There may be a time and a place, but I'd say that it should at least be after a few sessions (because the first time will always be weird), and the feedback should significantly more supportive. The specific things that the guy says here are just yikes. Numbers 5 and 6 (the first number 6) in particular could not possibly be bigger red flags. If I were in the unlikely position of being someone's first, I'd do whatever I could to make the experience about them and making them comfortable. What I want would be immaterial. I'd say that things should be mostly planned out, taken slow, as much stress removed as possible, and no expectations placed on the person who's first time it is. Go through a list of basic sex things to see what they want to try and what they want to hold off on. Sure, maybe they are or turn out to be a total kinkster eventually, but you don't need to mess with that the first time. And after that first time, you provide them aftercare, check in with them to make sure they're ok, check in with them the next day, and see when the next time they want to try is.
I do think checking in after the first time is still helpful. Maybe not everyone needs it, but establishing if there was pain or discomfort shouldn't wait until you've done it several times. Sometimes it's just not doing a position, or making sure there's more foreplay. Sometimes a thing you wanted to try *really* didn't pan out, and you don't want to do it again. Some things require multiple tries to know if you like, but not everything does. What he did here wasn't healthy, full stop. It was entirely one-sided, and disregarded that she would even have needs, let alone respect them. I do agree that prep is a key role. Not knowing what to expect makes sex scary, and can make speaking up significantly harder, especially in the moment.
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And 18/2 + 10 is 19… this system doesn’t really work…
If you’re under 21