r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile their relationship after an affair(s). Please review our [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/index) which includes resources and can answer most questions about this subreddit. Be sure to read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/rules) before participating as they are our boundaries and your initial ***warning***. *Failure to do so can result in a ban*.
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RULES
**1. All posts and comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.**
- Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental.
- Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements.
- Asking clarifying questions or offering suggestions is acceptable–if backed up by personal experience about what has helped you in your recovery and reconciliation.
- Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP.
- Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully.
- “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support.
**2. The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.**
- Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.
*All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban without further warning.*
**3. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.**
- e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc.
- No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses.
- No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed.
**4. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism or other hate speech.**
- Posts or comments dehumanizing and/or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed. (Posts and comments related to navigating feelings or practical matters about APs are allowed.)
**5. No anti-reconciliation language.**
- Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice.
- Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship.
**6. Posts and comments must be directly related to RECONCILIATION**
- The scope of this subreddit is narrow: by and for reconcilers on the subject of reconciliation only. There are several other subreddits that offer support for others who have experienced infidelity. Posts about ending reconciliation are subject to removal as this is a subbreddit for those who are actively in reconciliation or considering reconciliation.Posts about asking if you should reconcile or end reconciliation will be removed. Those posts are better suited in spaces that allow all opinions and are not confinded to a pro-reconciliation space.This is not a infidelity discussion, advice forum, or survey space. This is not a place to read for entertainment and pass judgment.
- **Low-effort posts**- are generally posts that are title-only, or copy/paste of content, or links dropped without context. EX:title with a low-effort body such as questions without relevant context to your own situation.
- **Opinion pieces**- both in posts and comments. Judgment and broad strokes are not appropriate here. More often than not, opinion pieces do not follow our peer support model.
- **Meta content**- whether about this sub or another is not appropriate. If you have questions, suggestions, or concerns please send a modmail to the appropriate subreddit.
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**7. No crossposting, reposting, copypasta text, or screenshots to other spaces**
- The only exception will be if the OP has directly given you permission to use their intellectual property. This is a zero-tolerance rule and will result in a permanent ban with appeal only being considered with communication from the OP to the mods directly. If another sub facilitates this violation we will be in contact with Reddit directly as it is a [moderator code of conduct](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct) violation. The posts shared here are meant for this subreddit and this subreddit alone. Please be respectful.
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Thank you. I really needed to remember this. She's been the AP for someone else in the past and admitted it to him.
I've been an unwitting AP before, I immediately told the BP. I think I need to remember that he only saw the best side of her until it ended and she lashed out.
Money doesn’t make someone better than someone else. Money can’t mitigate her being a crappy human. You could post a list of 50 positives, but her not having an issue getting involved with a taken man negates all of the good. That tells you *everything* you need to know. Who gives a crap if she looks good in an evening dress if she’s morally bankrupt?
He was in a fog. He was going to like everything about her even if he didn’t. Her clothes, her cooking, whatever. They don’t share or see negatives in that phase. It’s like a positive, phony bubble.
Thank you. She has been the AP at least once before that she's admitted to as well.
Still, obviously that wasn't enough to deter him from her since she told him before their affair started (likely testing the water). So while I know you are right logically, in his eyes that doesn't seem to make me any better.
she’s a walking red flag and not a good person. She tried to buy you so that you would think she wasn’t a bad person. How desperate is that ?
I’m sorry he won’t tell you you’re prettier than her.
You're not wrong. She has behaved in rather pathetic ways since the beginning to be honest. I think the spiral got me today and I just couldn't remember that. Thank you.
She is fine with being a side piece. You know what else is fine with being a side piece? Coleslaw. It’s never great but it’s always there.
You are the main dish, you are already operating on a completely different realm than her.
She’s just a sloppy, desperate option that most people would happily overlook.
I am sorry that you feel this way. It sucks that not only do we have the affair to deal with but also the feelings of inadequacy that follow. One thing I’ve learned, through therapy, is that we need to be able to validate ourselves. We shouldn’t rely on our partners, who screwed us over, to validate us. Find ways to be happy for yourself rather than trying to find ways for him to validate you. Frankly, you’re better than him. We put them on a pedestal because the pain they jnflict on us triggers something in our unconscious to think that they are better than they are, because how else could all of this pain be happening? They MUST be worth it if I feel this bad when I lose them. They aren’t. They’re just flawed people, who need to do a lot of work to become “normal” again. You on the other hand are not only normal, but you’re loyal, and it sounds like you’re worthy of a great person.
Thank you very much, I hadn't looked at it this way at all.
I am trying to find ways to validate myself, I'm just having a hard time doing that at the moment. But I am working on it!
Just another way of looking at it, she is using her money to get emotional and physical connection with people. Take the money away and she knows she has nothing else to offer. So no, she isn't better than you OP. She is just a sad and broken person who knows they have nothing to offer so they try to make themselves feel better by going after men in relationship. It's a sad way to live your life.
Are you in IC? If not, this is something you need to work out with a professional as it's going to eat you alive.
Nothing else to add other than this: "Comparison is the thief of joy"
Nope, I can't afford it sadly. It's not "medically necessary" so my insurance won't cover it and we're only in couples counseling because there is a resident at a center near us that does it for half price.
Hi, how are you? I understand a lot of what you say, I compare myself to my husband's AP's all the time. Their look, Their qualities, the things they shared and it kills me. All my life I struggled with self-esteem issues, so much so that since DDay the way I talk to myself and the way I want to control what I eat and my hatred of myself for gaining 2 kilos, I know it's not healthy.
But the only thing I could tell you is this, just as the WP's infidelity has nothing to do with us and is not our fault, and does not define our value as a person or wife, nor does it matter how many wonderful qualities his AP may have. First, without a doubt, she lacks a good amount of morality and empathy to be involved in an affair and second, You have YOUR own qualities, your things that make you a person, that has its own value, you are not competing with anyone, YOU ARE UNIQUE. Everything about you is unique and unrepeatable.
When I start comparing myself to them, I try to stop and think about it the other way around, what do I have to offer in my marriage, morally, physically, intellectually.
YOU ARE SPECIAL, SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU IN THE WORLD and if you want everyone to appreciate it, you have to start appreciating it yourself and the rest of the world will follow... or should 💕
Wish you all the best
OP come on now! Nathalie Portman got cheated on. Enough said.
There are many things I wish I could 'pull off' the elegant classy look being one of them.... the 'messy' yet oh so sexy hair bun. But no that was never in my past, my present or future and I'm okay with it.
This AP is proof that money can't buy you class or a conscience.
BTW I'm in the language business and teaching yourself and you speak a language fluently tells me so much about you. Can you sing? Odd question I know but those with language skills have musicality.
You are uniquely you. There is only one. Love her.
Only coheed and Cambria 😅 I definitely fit more in the the men's tenor section than any of the women's ranges
Thank you so much for this, the support in this community and just being able to get these thoughts out there to people who understand has made me feel so much better
Shes not. If you could see how miserable they are- how much they hate themselves; you wouldn't think that.
No matter what, no matter anything she "has" she's okay with destroying an innocent human being. She lacks what matters most. She's a failure.
I didn’t even read the whole thing because no matter what she does she’s still a home-wrecker sick person. That’s enough trouble for her that’ll last a lifetime.
Twice over that we know of, she has done this before and justified it saying "if it wasn't me it would have been someone else, he was gonna cheat anyway"
She's gonna keep going until she faces actual consequences
*sorry, rant incoming*
Now that I'm out of the panic I'm seeing things more clearly and I genuinely just think she's never had to face actual consequences in her life so she feels like she can do whatever. She never had to grow up and handle her problems herself.
She'll be 27 later this year, still lives with her parents because she had an apartment and couldn't afford it. No worries, just move back home. Totaled her car- not an issue, parents had the deductible covered. Got too stressed and quit her job- no problem at all, mom and dad pay the bills so she could take 3 months off without worrying. Hated working in the restaurant industry even though she hadn't pursued any education to do anything else- mom and dad pay for a whole real estate training program and cover her while she does the unpaid part.
She literally would not have been able to handle living our lives. Unless her parents had kept footing the bill after she moved here, there is no way a relationship between her and WP would have lasted with the stress we face considering the way she reacts. When she's not happy, she bottles it up until she lashes out. Online it's easy enough, she'd delete the messages and act like nothing happened. WP doesn't tolerate that. He gets mean when people lash out at him (though he has been more understanding when it happens because I'm triggered). I asked him once why he put up with it from her when he'd get snappy with me for being irritated and he said "honestly, if I don't want to deal with it I can just not reply. I can just close my laptop and go about my day. I live with you."
Not to say that nothing bad has ever happened in her life, she has some trauma for sure, but she's never had to pay the price for a damn thing she's done. I'm sure she sees herself as the victim here too, and I might have as well since my WP was the typical "nice guy" when she was broken hearted over her ex... If she hadn't thrown such a hissy fit when he ended it, or had been honest with me when I confronted her instead of covering for him (which he told me the truth about not realizing she had lied).
Then had the nerve to call *me* a "manipulative toxic bully" because WP told her not to send disgustingly flirty tiktok reels??? Like c'mon, get over your victim complex.
I may not have her resources or opportunities, or even her looks but I'm a strong, grown adult who can handle their own shit without running to someone else to solve everything. Whether or not R works I'll be okay because I was raised to be self-sufficient and continue under pressure. She can't say any of that.
Everything you find so great in her are things you have in you and you just miss them , because life , mental health etc took you away from theses things but great news is you can get back to all of it . Focuse on YOU do things that YOU like , that makes YOU happy .
And stop comparing , you have values , she don’t and that says a lot already 💕
Can I give you a perspective as a Wayward partner who was an AP to other married people. I assume some of my APs have eventually confessed and I’m an AP to an OBS.
When active in infidelity my self esteem couldn’t have been lower. I surrounded myself with many things that were externally validating because inside I was empty. I would tell myself the next accomplishment would be the one that finally makes me feel like enough; or the next AP; or the next thing I would buy; or the next exclusive experience.
You know what it meant to me? Zero
I could never get enough of what didn’t fill me up.
I don’t tell you this to suggest you smugly view her as an empty shell. I tell you this to perhaps temper how good the things around her look. None of them compare to your integrity. None of them give her a personal who wants the real her. If she was willing to accept the scraps that a married person could give her, she’s very likely still not figured out that what will fill her up must come from somewhere else.
Be gentle on yourself OP. You’re so strong simply for being here and having the courage to try. Sending you some peace.
r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile their relationship after an affair(s). Please review our [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/index) which includes resources and can answer most questions about this subreddit. Be sure to read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/rules) before participating as they are our boundaries and your initial ***warning***. *Failure to do so can result in a ban*. For transparency and conflict mediation purposes, please follow reddits community guidelines by directing any questions, issues, feedback, or appeals in regard of the sub or moderation decisions **directly to the Modmail**. ***Meta content will be removed***. No response will be given to DMs and chat requests to individual moderators about moderating issues. We are happy to address and respond to your concerns through the official channels! Please assign yourself [user flair](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions/user_and_post_flairs). Flair Instructions can be found [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions). RULES **1. All posts and comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.** - Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental. - Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements. - Asking clarifying questions or offering suggestions is acceptable–if backed up by personal experience about what has helped you in your recovery and reconciliation. - Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP. - Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully. - “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support. **2. The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.** - Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice. *All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban without further warning.* **3. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.** - e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc. - No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses. - No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed. **4. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism or other hate speech.** - Posts or comments dehumanizing and/or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed. (Posts and comments related to navigating feelings or practical matters about APs are allowed.) **5. No anti-reconciliation language.** - Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice. - Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship. **6. Posts and comments must be directly related to RECONCILIATION** - The scope of this subreddit is narrow: by and for reconcilers on the subject of reconciliation only. There are several other subreddits that offer support for others who have experienced infidelity. Posts about ending reconciliation are subject to removal as this is a subbreddit for those who are actively in reconciliation or considering reconciliation.Posts about asking if you should reconcile or end reconciliation will be removed. Those posts are better suited in spaces that allow all opinions and are not confinded to a pro-reconciliation space.This is not a infidelity discussion, advice forum, or survey space. This is not a place to read for entertainment and pass judgment. - **Low-effort posts**- are generally posts that are title-only, or copy/paste of content, or links dropped without context. EX:title with a low-effort body such as questions without relevant context to your own situation. - **Opinion pieces**- both in posts and comments. Judgment and broad strokes are not appropriate here. More often than not, opinion pieces do not follow our peer support model. - **Meta content**- whether about this sub or another is not appropriate. If you have questions, suggestions, or concerns please send a modmail to the appropriate subreddit. - **Update Me**- The use of Reddit "update me" is not allowed and will get you banned. **7. No crossposting, reposting, copypasta text, or screenshots to other spaces** - The only exception will be if the OP has directly given you permission to use their intellectual property. This is a zero-tolerance rule and will result in a permanent ban with appeal only being considered with communication from the OP to the mods directly. If another sub facilitates this violation we will be in contact with Reddit directly as it is a [moderator code of conduct](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct) violation. The posts shared here are meant for this subreddit and this subreddit alone. Please be respectful. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The leg up you have is that you’re not a homewrecker or person with no morals.
Thank you. I really needed to remember this. She's been the AP for someone else in the past and admitted it to him. I've been an unwitting AP before, I immediately told the BP. I think I need to remember that he only saw the best side of her until it ended and she lashed out.
This. I, too, needed to hear this. The past two days have been SO. HARD.
Money doesn’t make someone better than someone else. Money can’t mitigate her being a crappy human. You could post a list of 50 positives, but her not having an issue getting involved with a taken man negates all of the good. That tells you *everything* you need to know. Who gives a crap if she looks good in an evening dress if she’s morally bankrupt? He was in a fog. He was going to like everything about her even if he didn’t. Her clothes, her cooking, whatever. They don’t share or see negatives in that phase. It’s like a positive, phony bubble.
Thank you. She has been the AP at least once before that she's admitted to as well. Still, obviously that wasn't enough to deter him from her since she told him before their affair started (likely testing the water). So while I know you are right logically, in his eyes that doesn't seem to make me any better.
she’s a walking red flag and not a good person. She tried to buy you so that you would think she wasn’t a bad person. How desperate is that ? I’m sorry he won’t tell you you’re prettier than her.
You're not wrong. She has behaved in rather pathetic ways since the beginning to be honest. I think the spiral got me today and I just couldn't remember that. Thank you.
We all know the spiral too well! ❤️
She is fine with being a side piece. You know what else is fine with being a side piece? Coleslaw. It’s never great but it’s always there. You are the main dish, you are already operating on a completely different realm than her. She’s just a sloppy, desperate option that most people would happily overlook.
Thank you, I really needed these reminders today!
I am sorry that you feel this way. It sucks that not only do we have the affair to deal with but also the feelings of inadequacy that follow. One thing I’ve learned, through therapy, is that we need to be able to validate ourselves. We shouldn’t rely on our partners, who screwed us over, to validate us. Find ways to be happy for yourself rather than trying to find ways for him to validate you. Frankly, you’re better than him. We put them on a pedestal because the pain they jnflict on us triggers something in our unconscious to think that they are better than they are, because how else could all of this pain be happening? They MUST be worth it if I feel this bad when I lose them. They aren’t. They’re just flawed people, who need to do a lot of work to become “normal” again. You on the other hand are not only normal, but you’re loyal, and it sounds like you’re worthy of a great person.
Thank you very much, I hadn't looked at it this way at all. I am trying to find ways to validate myself, I'm just having a hard time doing that at the moment. But I am working on it!
Just another way of looking at it, she is using her money to get emotional and physical connection with people. Take the money away and she knows she has nothing else to offer. So no, she isn't better than you OP. She is just a sad and broken person who knows they have nothing to offer so they try to make themselves feel better by going after men in relationship. It's a sad way to live your life.
Thank you, she does have wild self esteem issues. I'm doing much better now than I was earlier
Are you in IC? If not, this is something you need to work out with a professional as it's going to eat you alive. Nothing else to add other than this: "Comparison is the thief of joy"
Nope, I can't afford it sadly. It's not "medically necessary" so my insurance won't cover it and we're only in couples counseling because there is a resident at a center near us that does it for half price.
Hi, how are you? I understand a lot of what you say, I compare myself to my husband's AP's all the time. Their look, Their qualities, the things they shared and it kills me. All my life I struggled with self-esteem issues, so much so that since DDay the way I talk to myself and the way I want to control what I eat and my hatred of myself for gaining 2 kilos, I know it's not healthy. But the only thing I could tell you is this, just as the WP's infidelity has nothing to do with us and is not our fault, and does not define our value as a person or wife, nor does it matter how many wonderful qualities his AP may have. First, without a doubt, she lacks a good amount of morality and empathy to be involved in an affair and second, You have YOUR own qualities, your things that make you a person, that has its own value, you are not competing with anyone, YOU ARE UNIQUE. Everything about you is unique and unrepeatable. When I start comparing myself to them, I try to stop and think about it the other way around, what do I have to offer in my marriage, morally, physically, intellectually. YOU ARE SPECIAL, SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU IN THE WORLD and if you want everyone to appreciate it, you have to start appreciating it yourself and the rest of the world will follow... or should 💕 Wish you all the best
OP come on now! Nathalie Portman got cheated on. Enough said. There are many things I wish I could 'pull off' the elegant classy look being one of them.... the 'messy' yet oh so sexy hair bun. But no that was never in my past, my present or future and I'm okay with it. This AP is proof that money can't buy you class or a conscience. BTW I'm in the language business and teaching yourself and you speak a language fluently tells me so much about you. Can you sing? Odd question I know but those with language skills have musicality. You are uniquely you. There is only one. Love her.
Yes! And remember when Adam Levine cheated on his wife? She was a Victoria’s Secret model, for crap’s sake! 🤦🏼♀️
Only coheed and Cambria 😅 I definitely fit more in the the men's tenor section than any of the women's ranges Thank you so much for this, the support in this community and just being able to get these thoughts out there to people who understand has made me feel so much better
Shes not. If you could see how miserable they are- how much they hate themselves; you wouldn't think that. No matter what, no matter anything she "has" she's okay with destroying an innocent human being. She lacks what matters most. She's a failure.
I didn’t even read the whole thing because no matter what she does she’s still a home-wrecker sick person. That’s enough trouble for her that’ll last a lifetime.
Twice over that we know of, she has done this before and justified it saying "if it wasn't me it would have been someone else, he was gonna cheat anyway" She's gonna keep going until she faces actual consequences
You’d think it would be a clue for her that it keeps happening. Denial level 5000.
*sorry, rant incoming* Now that I'm out of the panic I'm seeing things more clearly and I genuinely just think she's never had to face actual consequences in her life so she feels like she can do whatever. She never had to grow up and handle her problems herself. She'll be 27 later this year, still lives with her parents because she had an apartment and couldn't afford it. No worries, just move back home. Totaled her car- not an issue, parents had the deductible covered. Got too stressed and quit her job- no problem at all, mom and dad pay the bills so she could take 3 months off without worrying. Hated working in the restaurant industry even though she hadn't pursued any education to do anything else- mom and dad pay for a whole real estate training program and cover her while she does the unpaid part. She literally would not have been able to handle living our lives. Unless her parents had kept footing the bill after she moved here, there is no way a relationship between her and WP would have lasted with the stress we face considering the way she reacts. When she's not happy, she bottles it up until she lashes out. Online it's easy enough, she'd delete the messages and act like nothing happened. WP doesn't tolerate that. He gets mean when people lash out at him (though he has been more understanding when it happens because I'm triggered). I asked him once why he put up with it from her when he'd get snappy with me for being irritated and he said "honestly, if I don't want to deal with it I can just not reply. I can just close my laptop and go about my day. I live with you." Not to say that nothing bad has ever happened in her life, she has some trauma for sure, but she's never had to pay the price for a damn thing she's done. I'm sure she sees herself as the victim here too, and I might have as well since my WP was the typical "nice guy" when she was broken hearted over her ex... If she hadn't thrown such a hissy fit when he ended it, or had been honest with me when I confronted her instead of covering for him (which he told me the truth about not realizing she had lied). Then had the nerve to call *me* a "manipulative toxic bully" because WP told her not to send disgustingly flirty tiktok reels??? Like c'mon, get over your victim complex. I may not have her resources or opportunities, or even her looks but I'm a strong, grown adult who can handle their own shit without running to someone else to solve everything. Whether or not R works I'll be okay because I was raised to be self-sufficient and continue under pressure. She can't say any of that.
There you go. I bet she feels like poop 7/24. No matter what she says, she probably has a huge fight going on within, with herself.
Everything you find so great in her are things you have in you and you just miss them , because life , mental health etc took you away from theses things but great news is you can get back to all of it . Focuse on YOU do things that YOU like , that makes YOU happy . And stop comparing , you have values , she don’t and that says a lot already 💕
Thank you <3
Can I give you a perspective as a Wayward partner who was an AP to other married people. I assume some of my APs have eventually confessed and I’m an AP to an OBS. When active in infidelity my self esteem couldn’t have been lower. I surrounded myself with many things that were externally validating because inside I was empty. I would tell myself the next accomplishment would be the one that finally makes me feel like enough; or the next AP; or the next thing I would buy; or the next exclusive experience. You know what it meant to me? Zero I could never get enough of what didn’t fill me up. I don’t tell you this to suggest you smugly view her as an empty shell. I tell you this to perhaps temper how good the things around her look. None of them compare to your integrity. None of them give her a personal who wants the real her. If she was willing to accept the scraps that a married person could give her, she’s very likely still not figured out that what will fill her up must come from somewhere else. Be gentle on yourself OP. You’re so strong simply for being here and having the courage to try. Sending you some peace.
Thank you, this perspective helps a lot.