Never. Not everyone has the privilege of being partnered, not at 30, 40, or even 50. It happens. We can’t decide to judge someone for being single at any age.
I mean, I'm single at 39 and would prefer to date guys around my own age (if I were actually interested in dating), so... no, not something I'd judge a guy for.
Although if I met a guy my age who'd never been in a serious relationship before, that might at least be a yellow flag.
Heavily agree, I’m only 21 but have been almost in back to back relationships, both hetero and homo, in a relationship with a boy who has only been in one hetero relationship 4 years ago. There’s a gap of understanding of norms for both of us, and I don’t think it will work out.
No, provided they are generally in my age range and their desired path is compatible with mine. A 25yo is at a different point in life than me. But someone +/-14 years is not.
I learned that the hard way when I was in my twenties dating ten plus years older men. So many incompatibilities issues and they tend to morph into father figures instead of equal partners. I finally found my partner who is younger by 3 years that we are much more alined in values and purpose.
I mean, the question is who are u trying to date
A 40 year old who thinks at 40 you are too old is clearly on his own trip end best avoided
Are you worried that lads in their 20s or 30s will judge you
Nope. And just because someone is partnered at 20, 30 or 40, doesn't mean that person won't be single again ten years later. Life can change in a moment. Everyone's journey is unique.
Age is a construct my dude. Once we’re over 25-30 why does it matter what a persons physical age is? For me at some point the person should be judged only by the content of their character not by how old they perceive themselves being.
Agree!
I was at a party once where a gay man in his 40s was lamenting that he didn't want to date anyone over the age of 30 because he had the mental outlook of someone much younger than his age. I told him he didn't have to be so verbose -just simply tell people you're immature.
Judge how? I'm 42, I might judge if somebody my age was dating a 19 year old, and they were *insistent* on only ever dating 18/19 year olds.
I wouldn't just judge somebody for being single though. Some people like being single. Some people are ok being alone. Some people might've lost their spouse, can't find anybody, or a lot of other shitty things. Life's hard, I'm not gonna judge that kinda stuff.
I found myself dating for the first time at 62...(yes, really)...I met a few guys at 40, just above. Def. myself not looking to rob a cradle, but mid-40's though junior to my age, wasn't an issue, and very dateable at 40. They're adults...past all the crap in your 20's, and ready to tackle a serious relationship. I met many guys 40+ who were a catch...nothing let me to think anything else, then again, I'm an old man, looking to find a partner. I found one after 10 months (was on Scruff and [Match.com](https://Match.com)), met a lot of great guys, and 3 potential partners, but only 1 captured me. We met on [Match.com](https://Match.com), and after a few months of chatting via app and text, finally met - he was 3 hours away from me, but all is good. We partnered, and I loved to him. We're to be married next month. Over 40 is definitely doable.
On the one hand, no. On the other, because of my own past dating mistakes, I screen out people that are outside my preferred age range. I’m a lot less flexible about it with people younger than me (I’m 37)
This shouldn’t be a problem if you’re looking in your own age group. I was relieved that as I got older, so did my tastes in guys.
And sure I’m interested in any willing younger guys who show interest… but I’m not chasing them.
Nah, some people like myself are late bloomers, didn’t come out till 21, didn’t do anything with a man until 29, so some people have some catching up to do, plus who cares everyone is different, I’m glad I’ve never been one of those people who judge their self worth on whether they are single or not
I wouldn’t but people do it all the time. The truth is I’m single because I spent the my 30s and early 40s, it two different longer -term relationships. So, now that I’m in my 50’s, here I am single, and people are judging and excluding me from their consideration everyday. Rejection doesn’t feel the same as you get older. Now I say to myself they have no idea what they’re missing. LOL
In general, no. You can be super attractive well into your 50s - age is mostly irrelevant to me.
I would avoid entering a LTR with someone really young (like, 25 or less) just because they likely still need to get the other parts of their life (career, finances, etc) sorted out.
Not at all, in fact I’m almost exclusively attracted to men 10-30 years older than me.
(So maybe I guess I do “judge” against anyone my age or younger lol.)
If I were single I would be thrilled to date a guy in his forties. Established, mature, experienced, and without all the drama that guys in their 20s bring.
When I was teen and a narcissistic idiot I thought anyone who was single by 30 probably spent their 20s hooking up while avoiding intimacy, instead of dating and looking for a partner.
By the time I was 22 i had endured hardship and loss and my views changed. We’re the main character in the book we call our life, but we’re not the author of the book. We don’t get to dictate the story.
At 18 I’d only consider guys +\- 4 years max
At 22 it was at least a 7 year difference since I dated s 29 year old
By 25 a few guys in their late 30s to mid 40s were catching my interest.
By 27 I stopped caring about age. It was more about how a guy presents himself. If an older guy takes care of himself, comes off as aging like wine, I’m open to it.
Take care of yourself. Keep your weight under control, try to use tretinoin (rx retinol) and sunscreen to protect your skin. GET YOUR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS CHECKED! As someone younger looking at someone older, i expected them to be mentally stronger than i was and to help guide me through tough times.
Would I judge a date on age? I wouldn’t judge but I’d wonder what you were wanting to get out of a relationship. Short term fun, long term love.
>Would I judge a date on age? I wouldn’t judge but I’d wonder what you were wanting to get out of a relationship. Short term fun, long term love.
Long term love.
Nah I'm partnered at 35 but if I were dating I'd be happy to meet guys up to 50 or so. They would have different life experiences but they would also potentially bring a lot to the table that a 20 year old doesn't: emotional maturity, being comfortable with themselves, stability, experience in a relationship before. I'd much rather judge from the person if we vibe than look at a specific age number.
It's natural for most people to go for people a similar age.
What I never understand is when people have hard age limits like "No one over 36". Like on their 37th birthday they suddenly become hideous and undesirable.
Never. Not everyone has the privilege of being partnered, not at 30, 40, or even 50. It happens. We can’t decide to judge someone for being single at any age.
❤️
I mean, I'm single at 39 and would prefer to date guys around my own age (if I were actually interested in dating), so... no, not something I'd judge a guy for. Although if I met a guy my age who'd never been in a serious relationship before, that might at least be a yellow flag.
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At this stage of my life, I'm not sure I'd want to be the trial run for a guy learning how to navigate a serious relationship for the first time.
Heavily agree, I’m only 21 but have been almost in back to back relationships, both hetero and homo, in a relationship with a boy who has only been in one hetero relationship 4 years ago. There’s a gap of understanding of norms for both of us, and I don’t think it will work out.
No, provided they are generally in my age range and their desired path is compatible with mine. A 25yo is at a different point in life than me. But someone +/-14 years is not.
I learned that the hard way when I was in my twenties dating ten plus years older men. So many incompatibilities issues and they tend to morph into father figures instead of equal partners. I finally found my partner who is younger by 3 years that we are much more alined in values and purpose.
I mean, the question is who are u trying to date A 40 year old who thinks at 40 you are too old is clearly on his own trip end best avoided Are you worried that lads in their 20s or 30s will judge you
I was single and going on first dates just before I turned 50, with other single men in their 40's, 50's and 60's. I didn't judge or feel judged.
Nope. And just because someone is partnered at 20, 30 or 40, doesn't mean that person won't be single again ten years later. Life can change in a moment. Everyone's journey is unique.
Age is a construct my dude. Once we’re over 25-30 why does it matter what a persons physical age is? For me at some point the person should be judged only by the content of their character not by how old they perceive themselves being.
Age is. Maturity isn’t.
My point exactly!
Agree! I was at a party once where a gay man in his 40s was lamenting that he didn't want to date anyone over the age of 30 because he had the mental outlook of someone much younger than his age. I told him he didn't have to be so verbose -just simply tell people you're immature.
Judge how? I'm 42, I might judge if somebody my age was dating a 19 year old, and they were *insistent* on only ever dating 18/19 year olds. I wouldn't just judge somebody for being single though. Some people like being single. Some people are ok being alone. Some people might've lost their spouse, can't find anybody, or a lot of other shitty things. Life's hard, I'm not gonna judge that kinda stuff.
you are literally asking an over 30 sub 😂 something you might ask if you were planning to date 18 year olds
Nooooooo I was 30 when I found my partner who was 46 at the time. We are now 51 and 67 respectively 😬
I found myself dating for the first time at 62...(yes, really)...I met a few guys at 40, just above. Def. myself not looking to rob a cradle, but mid-40's though junior to my age, wasn't an issue, and very dateable at 40. They're adults...past all the crap in your 20's, and ready to tackle a serious relationship. I met many guys 40+ who were a catch...nothing let me to think anything else, then again, I'm an old man, looking to find a partner. I found one after 10 months (was on Scruff and [Match.com](https://Match.com)), met a lot of great guys, and 3 potential partners, but only 1 captured me. We met on [Match.com](https://Match.com), and after a few months of chatting via app and text, finally met - he was 3 hours away from me, but all is good. We partnered, and I loved to him. We're to be married next month. Over 40 is definitely doable.
Judge negatively or judged positively? I guess I don’t understand the question
Negatively : i.e: swipe left or X
On the one hand, no. On the other, because of my own past dating mistakes, I screen out people that are outside my preferred age range. I’m a lot less flexible about it with people younger than me (I’m 37)
I prefer dudes around that age an older honestly.
This shouldn’t be a problem if you’re looking in your own age group. I was relieved that as I got older, so did my tastes in guys. And sure I’m interested in any willing younger guys who show interest… but I’m not chasing them.
Nah, some people like myself are late bloomers, didn’t come out till 21, didn’t do anything with a man until 29, so some people have some catching up to do, plus who cares everyone is different, I’m glad I’ve never been one of those people who judge their self worth on whether they are single or not
Totally! I’m 46 and I’d like my men to be around my own age, give or take 5 years.
I wouldn’t but people do it all the time. The truth is I’m single because I spent the my 30s and early 40s, it two different longer -term relationships. So, now that I’m in my 50’s, here I am single, and people are judging and excluding me from their consideration everyday. Rejection doesn’t feel the same as you get older. Now I say to myself they have no idea what they’re missing. LOL
Yep. Same situation for me. LTR that lasted from 30s into 40s!
I feel for you
Thank you and hugs from a pre-Tinder generation: first contact, phone call, feeling so excited! (and scared) . 😏
In general, no. You can be super attractive well into your 50s - age is mostly irrelevant to me. I would avoid entering a LTR with someone really young (like, 25 or less) just because they likely still need to get the other parts of their life (career, finances, etc) sorted out.
Thanks for all the comments, very interesting and no trolling. Love you bros. 😍
No. It wasn't until I set my age range higher than my ideal that I met my husband.
Not at all, in fact I’m almost exclusively attracted to men 10-30 years older than me. (So maybe I guess I do “judge” against anyone my age or younger lol.)
Hell no! Nothing wrong with being single at any age.
Not at all.
If I were single I would be thrilled to date a guy in his forties. Established, mature, experienced, and without all the drama that guys in their 20s bring.
When I was teen and a narcissistic idiot I thought anyone who was single by 30 probably spent their 20s hooking up while avoiding intimacy, instead of dating and looking for a partner. By the time I was 22 i had endured hardship and loss and my views changed. We’re the main character in the book we call our life, but we’re not the author of the book. We don’t get to dictate the story. At 18 I’d only consider guys +\- 4 years max At 22 it was at least a 7 year difference since I dated s 29 year old By 25 a few guys in their late 30s to mid 40s were catching my interest. By 27 I stopped caring about age. It was more about how a guy presents himself. If an older guy takes care of himself, comes off as aging like wine, I’m open to it. Take care of yourself. Keep your weight under control, try to use tretinoin (rx retinol) and sunscreen to protect your skin. GET YOUR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS CHECKED! As someone younger looking at someone older, i expected them to be mentally stronger than i was and to help guide me through tough times. Would I judge a date on age? I wouldn’t judge but I’d wonder what you were wanting to get out of a relationship. Short term fun, long term love.
>Would I judge a date on age? I wouldn’t judge but I’d wonder what you were wanting to get out of a relationship. Short term fun, long term love. Long term love.
Nah I'm partnered at 35 but if I were dating I'd be happy to meet guys up to 50 or so. They would have different life experiences but they would also potentially bring a lot to the table that a 20 year old doesn't: emotional maturity, being comfortable with themselves, stability, experience in a relationship before. I'd much rather judge from the person if we vibe than look at a specific age number.
It's natural for most people to go for people a similar age. What I never understand is when people have hard age limits like "No one over 36". Like on their 37th birthday they suddenly become hideous and undesirable.