not necessarily that. I'm just not into being in exhibition settings. I like watching, I just don't want to be the focal point. I guess that's me being an introvert
There are guys who do nothing at bathhouses but watch; it's kind of a tradition actually lol. If you're curious go. They're definitely a little nerves inducing at first and are definitely geared toward the fuck-first-ask-questions-later crowd but it can really handle and include all types. As with many things, timing is everything - you could go when there's a lot of action or when it's so sparsely attended that no one interacts. So know the schedule for the bathhouse you will be attending.
The one thing I would say is that if you're not comfortable saying no/swatting away hands etc then it's not for you. Some guys can be agressive (not most, but usually there's one of those guys floating around) and you need to be able to be confident in your ability to just not do what you don't want to do.
“Bathhouse suitable”?
People from all walks of life go to bathhouses. One positive thing about bathhouses is that it’s a leveling environment in that everyone is buck naked but with a towel. There is strong sense of anonymity, you can’t size men by social status, professional or even their character. I would definitely recommend it. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.
You'll only know by trying. Cuddling is possible at a bathhouse, if you (or he) have a room, but that's going to be post-sex for most guys. Still, you may find you like group sex and sex with multiple guys in sequence more than you expect to. Go with an open mind and always remember you can say no. Just pushing away a guy's hand should get the message across.
What have you got to lose? I mean, seriously, you have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself.
I haven't been to one yet, butt I definitely want to. And I think it would be more fun going with someone.
I think this is what we call a gay sauna in Europe. When I go, I lay on my back and everyone who likes it can fuck me. And otherwise you give or get a blowjob. So not a single cuddle. I don’t think this is made for you.
Sounds like a good way to find out whether or not they're for you, really. Would you be going to hook up with him? You can use it as a meeting space when neither of you can host and dip after, or you can hang out and relax afterwards without feeling like there's pressure to find a hookup.
Try it and see? For sure, not for everyone- not something I would ever do, but that’s just me- it’s just to far past my comfort zone and I’m too old to reprogram. lol
I don't like the idea of fucking in open areas where people I don't want to touch me could, but you can rent private rooms and then get all kinds of sexy stuff going.
It feels like you're asking a couple of different questions in your post.
As to bathhouses in general, it's obviously going to differ by location and time of day, but most are not wall-to-wall sex. There are a lot of people who go to just hang out and have a drink or sit in a hot tub and chat. It's definitely very cruise-y, but that doesn't mean that you have to engage in sex acts. And most will have different areas with different energy levels. So, if you're curious about bathhouses, go check one out. More than likely if you say at the check-in desk that it's your first time, someone will be happy to give you a tour and a rundown of the etiquette.
As to meeting a new person at a bathhouse, that raises some other questions. You're on scruff which suggests that you're looking to meet people for sex yet you talk about wanting to make out and building up and not drop your pants for a fuck right away. What is your goal on scruff? What does your bio say you're looking for? If you're hoping to find a boyfriend and your potential suitor is suggesting that a bathhouse would make a good first date, then I don't think you and the other guy have the same expectations for where this relationship is going.
>I've never been to one. I don't think I would be out of my head enough and not in the moment enough to go to one.
Go. Don't take the expectation of hooking up with you the first time. Just enjoy the facilities. Do some people watching. Yes you're right, you'll be in your head the first time most likely. Maybe even the first few times.
The more times you've been, the less caught in your head you'll be with time. Once you're comfortable to dive in with some of the activities on offer, you'll have a good time.
But going to just see what happens there, enjoy some voyeurism, etc. is still worth it.
Here's [my guide to gay saunas/bathhouses for beginners](https://www.reddit.com/r/GayMen/comments/umjqh5/a_guide_to_gay_saunasbathhouses_for_beginners/).
Only thing I'd note beyond that is that bathhouses in the US and Canada also have private rooms for rent, in addition to lockers. They often come in different classes, with some rooms maybe even having slings, for different prices. More guys go for the rooms, and at busy times there may be a waiting list for them. They'll give you a locker and then notify you when your room is ready.
In places with private rooms a lot of the cruising consists of roaming the halls to see who is in a room looking for company. Often it's bottoms who pose themselves in their rooms ass-up (or in some other suggestive pose - such as in a sling where those are available), and the tops who check them out. If a guy stops by your door and checks you out, you can wave him in, or he will ask "looking for company", or just try coming in. If you're not interested you can shake your head or say "not interested, sorry", or similar.
Once you realize everyone there is wanting sex, most people don't look perfect nude, and it's pretty much just horny cattle fucking you probably won't be very self conscious.
I don't know if you'll enjoy it, but it's something that's worth trying atleast one time. You can always leave.
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Go in with a clear set of boundaries and see how you enjoy it. Most men in bathhouses are respectful. Just be clear about what you want and don’t make them guess. You don’t have to fuck, you can just watch.
Eh depends on how much you like voyeurism/exhibitionism. I go a couple times to sex dungeons and bath houses. At least with bathhouses you can relax in a tub or sauna if you’re not feeling it in the moment lol I’m not into penetration/kissing with strangers so most of the time I’m putting a show with my partner/s. I’ll give a handjob or two if I’m feeling frisky.
Bath houses are not kiss and cuddle types of environments. They are very much walk around naked, suck, fuck, and move on. Guys will touch you without asking first, you will be exposed to all different body types, it's pretty much a sex free for all. But it's not a place where you'll find a lot of affection.
Of course it's totally acceptable to sit on the sidelines, chill in the hot tub or pool and just watch the action. You can always say no to anyone you're not interested in doing anything with. But that's the thing: you actually have to say no.
So you never met the guy? I probably would not do that. Not meeting a complete stranger at a business where I have to pay to enter. Just go w friends or alone first to get a feel.
you wouldn't know unless you try. its not for me personally as I don't like to be watched and feel like I have to perform for people.
So you would feel vulnerable and exposed?
not necessarily that. I'm just not into being in exhibition settings. I like watching, I just don't want to be the focal point. I guess that's me being an introvert
Maybe you won't be the focal point check it out maybe you Will love the environment
Then it might be for you!
If you fear that, get a room, not just a locker. You don't have to play in public, just find a man or men and take them back to your room.
There are guys who do nothing at bathhouses but watch; it's kind of a tradition actually lol. If you're curious go. They're definitely a little nerves inducing at first and are definitely geared toward the fuck-first-ask-questions-later crowd but it can really handle and include all types. As with many things, timing is everything - you could go when there's a lot of action or when it's so sparsely attended that no one interacts. So know the schedule for the bathhouse you will be attending. The one thing I would say is that if you're not comfortable saying no/swatting away hands etc then it's not for you. Some guys can be agressive (not most, but usually there's one of those guys floating around) and you need to be able to be confident in your ability to just not do what you don't want to do.
“Bathhouse suitable”? People from all walks of life go to bathhouses. One positive thing about bathhouses is that it’s a leveling environment in that everyone is buck naked but with a towel. There is strong sense of anonymity, you can’t size men by social status, professional or even their character. I would definitely recommend it. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.
I don’t get how anonymous and naked are compatible but I guess that means that a bathhouse is just not for me
You'll only know by trying. Cuddling is possible at a bathhouse, if you (or he) have a room, but that's going to be post-sex for most guys. Still, you may find you like group sex and sex with multiple guys in sequence more than you expect to. Go with an open mind and always remember you can say no. Just pushing away a guy's hand should get the message across.
What have you got to lose? I mean, seriously, you have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself. I haven't been to one yet, butt I definitely want to. And I think it would be more fun going with someone.
I think this is what we call a gay sauna in Europe. When I go, I lay on my back and everyone who likes it can fuck me. And otherwise you give or get a blowjob. So not a single cuddle. I don’t think this is made for you.
Sounds like a good way to find out whether or not they're for you, really. Would you be going to hook up with him? You can use it as a meeting space when neither of you can host and dip after, or you can hang out and relax afterwards without feeling like there's pressure to find a hookup.
Try it and see? For sure, not for everyone- not something I would ever do, but that’s just me- it’s just to far past my comfort zone and I’m too old to reprogram. lol
I think that's my problem - my reprogramability.
I don't like the idea of fucking in open areas where people I don't want to touch me could, but you can rent private rooms and then get all kinds of sexy stuff going.
It feels like you're asking a couple of different questions in your post. As to bathhouses in general, it's obviously going to differ by location and time of day, but most are not wall-to-wall sex. There are a lot of people who go to just hang out and have a drink or sit in a hot tub and chat. It's definitely very cruise-y, but that doesn't mean that you have to engage in sex acts. And most will have different areas with different energy levels. So, if you're curious about bathhouses, go check one out. More than likely if you say at the check-in desk that it's your first time, someone will be happy to give you a tour and a rundown of the etiquette. As to meeting a new person at a bathhouse, that raises some other questions. You're on scruff which suggests that you're looking to meet people for sex yet you talk about wanting to make out and building up and not drop your pants for a fuck right away. What is your goal on scruff? What does your bio say you're looking for? If you're hoping to find a boyfriend and your potential suitor is suggesting that a bathhouse would make a good first date, then I don't think you and the other guy have the same expectations for where this relationship is going.
>I've never been to one. I don't think I would be out of my head enough and not in the moment enough to go to one. Go. Don't take the expectation of hooking up with you the first time. Just enjoy the facilities. Do some people watching. Yes you're right, you'll be in your head the first time most likely. Maybe even the first few times. The more times you've been, the less caught in your head you'll be with time. Once you're comfortable to dive in with some of the activities on offer, you'll have a good time. But going to just see what happens there, enjoy some voyeurism, etc. is still worth it.
Here's [my guide to gay saunas/bathhouses for beginners](https://www.reddit.com/r/GayMen/comments/umjqh5/a_guide_to_gay_saunasbathhouses_for_beginners/).
Only thing I'd note beyond that is that bathhouses in the US and Canada also have private rooms for rent, in addition to lockers. They often come in different classes, with some rooms maybe even having slings, for different prices. More guys go for the rooms, and at busy times there may be a waiting list for them. They'll give you a locker and then notify you when your room is ready. In places with private rooms a lot of the cruising consists of roaming the halls to see who is in a room looking for company. Often it's bottoms who pose themselves in their rooms ass-up (or in some other suggestive pose - such as in a sling where those are available), and the tops who check them out. If a guy stops by your door and checks you out, you can wave him in, or he will ask "looking for company", or just try coming in. If you're not interested you can shake your head or say "not interested, sorry", or similar.
Once you realize everyone there is wanting sex, most people don't look perfect nude, and it's pretty much just horny cattle fucking you probably won't be very self conscious. I don't know if you'll enjoy it, but it's something that's worth trying atleast one time. You can always leave.
Give it a try
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Go in with a clear set of boundaries and see how you enjoy it. Most men in bathhouses are respectful. Just be clear about what you want and don’t make them guess. You don’t have to fuck, you can just watch.
Eh depends on how much you like voyeurism/exhibitionism. I go a couple times to sex dungeons and bath houses. At least with bathhouses you can relax in a tub or sauna if you’re not feeling it in the moment lol I’m not into penetration/kissing with strangers so most of the time I’m putting a show with my partner/s. I’ll give a handjob or two if I’m feeling frisky.
Bath houses are not kiss and cuddle types of environments. They are very much walk around naked, suck, fuck, and move on. Guys will touch you without asking first, you will be exposed to all different body types, it's pretty much a sex free for all. But it's not a place where you'll find a lot of affection. Of course it's totally acceptable to sit on the sidelines, chill in the hot tub or pool and just watch the action. You can always say no to anyone you're not interested in doing anything with. But that's the thing: you actually have to say no.
So you never met the guy? I probably would not do that. Not meeting a complete stranger at a business where I have to pay to enter. Just go w friends or alone first to get a feel.