Gonna write this one down. Big brain shit. But can they squirm away while you're outside the room? What if they squirm away and start playing with electric cables and stuff.
I'm guessing there's an age limit to this hack.
If in a couple, parenting should be split equally. If one person had a sudden emergency the other should be able to take over no questions asked. Also there shouldn’t be one “fun parent”.
Never say never and never judge other parents; You don’t know how, when or why your parenting style might change.
Children thrive on consistency and boundaries.
You don’t need a fraction of the things advertised at you.
Photos and videos are priceless; they grow almost too quick to capture.
You’ll quickly see your children reflected back at you; your words, morals and attitude- You may not always like what you see!
Be careful of the advice you listen to....my whole experience of having kids is that people encourage you to do what they did to justify/validate their choices. I don't mean it in a bitchy way, I'm sure I do the same myself. I presume it's because we don't really have a clue! But breast v bottle is a perfect example....the kid will be fine no matter what you choose. And it'll be the same with soothers, training wheels, sports, schools, lunch, phones....parenting is full of landmines 😉
And if you say "Jesus" on a regular basis, your 10 year old will too!! 🙈🙊
This is a top response. When you move into a rough stage like a development stage and they become really hard work, you think they have just changed and this is them now but its always just a phase. When you have more kids then you realise this and its easier each time.
You know those little vests with the envelope necklines? They can be taken off by pulling down as well as up. Invaluable when dealing with a poo explosion.
Vests like [these ones](https://www.next.ie/en/style/st407747/615805#615805). The neckline has folds in it so that you can pull it down from the baby’s shoulders rather than having to pull it over their heads. If they’ve had a leaky poo pulling a messy vest over their heads can get poo all over their head - much harder to clean poo from their hair than their legs.
I’ll add that I was on child no 3 before I twigged this - I blame the lack of sleep…
The sleepless nights, the financial stress, the hard work - that won't be much of a surprise. But the psychological work that you have to do on yourself is hardcore. If you can't control your emotions, your child won't either and then you are in for a very bumpy ride
Be prepared for childhood shit to re emerge in ways you don't expect. Some stuff I'd half forgotten about loomed large when my kids hit certain ages.
It's OK to put a screaming baby or toddler into a safe place and let them scream for a few minutes while you walk away and take some deep breaths.
You need to be a team as parents. Be in agreement on stuff like if you're willing to baptise and what you're going to let go when the time comes. I don't love how one of mine dresses but I'm not going to battle over it.
You really only have 12 or 13 years to influence their way of seeing the world. Once they're in secondary school you don't have the same level of contact with the parents of their friends or as much control over their social circles.
I'm a way more chill parent than I expected. I think this is partly because my kids are pretty chill and partly because I find parenting much less hassle than a lot of people tried to make me think it is.
How my parents parented mainly. I was smacked as a kid and I have no idea why my parents did this when I look at my own kids. Then they also weren't particularly empathetic and my father in particular kind of opted out of parenting in many ways.
My mother used to smack/hit me as a kid and I honestly don't know how she could do it. My kids (tweens) are absolute pains in the backside sometimes and I'd be fit to kill them but I genuinely cannot imagine hitting them or even wanting to do that to them. It's so visceral and extreme.
I wasn't a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination so if my parents were still alive it would definitely be something I would have a go at them about.
I was hit or smacked for what I realised were normal kid misbehaviours. I won't forgive and forget that my parents thought physical punishment was fine to do. Too many people think "it never did them any harm". Hitting your kids is bad parenting.
I’ve alway wondered why my mother smacked me. I was a grand child, never in any trouble, did well in school. I honestly to this day can’t imagine what I did that deserved to be hit over. I just cannot fathom hitting any of my kids. Imagine hitting a 5 year old.
I was given wooden spoons to the bare arse as a kid. Not sure if it did any good but I'm not traumatized or anything.
The plastic wooden spoons are the worst ones.
Maybe smacks have a different affect. Don't have any memory of that.
Edit: oh yeah, my grandad used to smack me on the arse. Well deserved, I used to play in his flower garden and destroy everything. I eventually stopped doing that and I now respect florist people and I miss him.
but also in a wider sense - you start to remember your childhood in a way that you probably wouldn't if you don't have kids. It all comes back to you. And then you start wondering: was I as annoying as this fella? Do my parents remember how much hard work I was? The overlap is such a mindfcuk
Whatever advice was available tonus as first-time parents in 2009, I dont think anything could have prepared us for the dangers of social media and the damaging impact it can have on a young person's life.
We've co-slept with both of ours, they both are/were breastfed until they wanted to stop (eldest at 3, baby stoll going at 1). It maximises your sleep as you can stick them on a tit as soon as they begin to stir, no wailing, no getting up out of your warm bed to make fucking bottles. Yes, it's more work for the mother in feeding the child, but that's where your job to step up and look after your other half comes in and feed her while she feeds the baby.
Baby wearing in a sling or a harness is a life saver, baby gets cuddles, parents have their hands free for whatever they want to do. Especially important for a second when you're chasing a toddler around.
You can plan labour all you like but that kid has their own plan and theirs trumps yours every time.
The years are short, but fuck me the days are long sometimes...
Keep them in a rear-facing car seat as long as possible. It's safer, and ye can share chocolate up the front without them realising.
When they're being absolute ballbags stick them in the bath/shower/splash in puddles/paddling pool. Something about water will reset the mood for them 9 times out of 10.
You'll never feel anger quite like seeing some little bastard being mean to, or hurting, your child. You still can't hurt them, as much as you'll be tempted.
It's honestly the best craic in the world. Some days are utter shite but dear god then they learn to smile or blow you a kiss and it's everything.
I wish someone told me the mess that can happen between a baby and one of the bouncers that hang off the doors
The shit went up back and sides it was everywhere
You know your own child best.
We were in the Doctor's office sometimes late at night many times over the first couple of months. Everything was fine but don't feel guilty about needing a second opinion
Be prepared for anything related to harm coming to children in movies, tv, news to have a massive emotional effect on you.
Be prepared for minor differences between you and your partner to become major differences due to tiredness, stress e.t.c
Figure our schooling quickly - where are you going to live to get the school you want? Get your names down for schools.
They are going to be a sick, a lot. Caring for a sick child can be very challenging (and heartbreaking)
There are some magical moments along the way but it can be a bit gruelling until they are about about six and have a little bit of independence. Then it's pure joy until they wake up a teenager.
This is sound advice, like most of the other posts.
I found the biggest challenge in the early days was tiredness. People without children have no idea how bad this can be. Sleep whenever you can, wherever you can, at any time of day.
What came out of the blue for me was how frequently sick I was once the children started crèche / child minder.
Be prepared to change plans with no notice.
Your life BC (Before Children) will eventually seem like a pleasant dream you once had. Your new reality will be busier and you'll become more efficient at doing everything because you'll realise how precious your time is now.
https://www.corkbeo.ie/news/local-news/soldier-who-beat-woman-unconscious-29403987
Don't leave your child grow up like this POS. That's all I'm saying.
One piece of advise I give to all new parents is to have your kids clean up after themselves as soon as possible. For example, When they first start walking and you change their vest and pjs, have your toddler put the dirty clothes into the wash basket, always put their toys back into the toy box. I mean any little mess they make, have them clean up after themselves, once they're capable of doing the chore of course. This is a habit that will become part of life as they grow up. Otherwise you might end up with messy lazy teenagers who can't do anything for themselves. And you as a parent won't be nagging them all the time. I wish I done this when my teenage boys were young.
I'm inclined to agree with this. My child is only 2 but we've encouraged him to do things himself from the get go and he already puts his clothes in the laundry basket, brings his dishes to the sink etc. He loves to "help" me sweep the floors, sort the laundry etc and even though everything takes longer, I always encourage him in doing these things as I want it to be engrained into him that these are just the things everyone does as part of a household.
Don’t buy all the equipment straight away. Get the basics and add as you need. There aren’t enough hours a day to use all the swings etc.
The best night time routine is no routine. If babs is a good weight and obvs not colicky, let them sleep at night as long as they will. I’ve done this twice and they’ve slept through since 6 weeks.
Smile through all the well meaning advice and then do your own thing with your partner.
Kids are aware of a lot more than people give them credit for even if they don't know what is going on exactly. they can often sense when something isn't working/right
Your kid hasn't a fucking clue who you are until they're a few months old. That one surprised me.
I was also surprised to discover that breastfeeding is so difficult. Maybe women know that already, but it was news to me.
My kid is 2 and refuses to go to sleep before 10:30 pm. She also sleeps in our bed and always has. Don't do that. Do proper sleep training if you can.
All great points.
Don't be alarmed if you don't feel a connection to your child. It will come. Takes me over a year.
Breastfeeding support is attrotious and I'm shocked at how little breastfeeding struggles are discussed.
On the sleep thing. Put baby straight into their own bed. Like a bedside sleeper, by your side but not touching. Nightime = darkness, silence and boredom. Never sway from that. Sleep challenges will always pop up but you can set strong foundations that will make your life so much easier. Lucy Wolfe's book is great to have.
Oh I don’t know about the sleeping thing. I still sleep with my 5 year old and we love it. There’ll be a time when he won’t want to sleep with me anymore and I’ll miss it. I’d say enjoy the time when they’re small and want all the snuggles as it goes by so fast.
Just curious, but what do you do when they wake?
Our three (7,4,2) sleep through most of the time but on the odd occasion that they don't we just let them sleep the rest of the night in our bed.
It saves a lot of stress not having to do a whole bedtime routine again or strip the bed if they've peed.
When they were night weaning I'd stay in their room if they woke, so they wouldn't try to start feeding again.
What killed us in the beginning with our first was the 45 minutes trying to get him back to sleep on a shoulder and then transfer him to the cot.
We eventually tried letting him into the bed and it was life changing.
He used to wake for anything, a wet nappy or even a fart was all it took.
Is it a boy?
Is there a risk he'll turn out to be a "mammy's boy" like father Dougal or something? 5 years is very old to be still cuddling with mammy. But I'm not a parent yet so don't have a clue. But it is something I don't want to happen to my kid.
I guess 1 year old?
"mammy's boy syndrome" is definitely a problem in Ireland and you know it. I don't want my kid to have that syndrome.
Your boy is probably going to be like father Dougal. I'm saying this for his own good. Not trying to be offensive or anything.
We were going down the road of bringing our one year old into our bed most of the night just to be able to get some sleep. Then we got her a toddler pillow - full nights in her own cot since. Fucking miracle. Best €35 I ever spent
https://www.smythstoys.com/ie/en-ie/baby/toddler-bedroom/toddler-bedding/clevamama-clevafoam-toddler-pillow/p/170479
They have cute pillowcases for about a tenner too.
It would be a very flat pillow for an adult but it makes a difference for a smallie. Honestly don’t know why it made such a difference to her sleep, but I’ll take any win I can get!
Also, kids are weird. What works for one might not for the next.
We formula fed all of ours from birth- It’s up to everybody to decide what’s best for them and their family but in my experience it was to this day the best parenting decision we’ve made.
I’d definitely recommend at least being open to formula feeding and having some pre-made bottles on standby, even if your intention is to breastfeed.
From what I understand formula is so tightly regulated that they almost all have the same ingredients- I would ensure though that your local Aldi have it in stock regularly as it is recommended to stick with the same formula brand.
Tesco have price matched now, so the SMA we've used all along is the same price as the Aldi brand. The Aldi one does have palm oil in it, and we found it less pleasant to work with - the texture of the powder was more claggy and sticky than the SMA. Nutritionally they are identical, as people have said they have to be legally.
There are all sorts of reasons for breastfeeding challenges, for me my little guy was very sleepy (had to be woken up to feed) and had no interest in feeding for a good week or two. That meant my supply never increased enough to move off bottles, and I don't know if that would have always been the case. I tried triple feeding (bottles, bringing to the breast, and pumping) but I found it soul destroying so decided to go with as much combo feeding as I could do - it's important to remember it's not just breast or formula, it can be both and recent research shows that even one breast feed a day confers many of the benefits for the immune system and microbiome. Being able to share the feeding with my husband made a huge difference to my mental health in the first 3 months.
SMA is the brand, there are only a handful of formula brands and it's one of the older ones, like Cow & Gate. They are all made by the same two companies though, Nestle or Danone!
I breastfed all my kids. Bottle feeding is a real hassle. I found sticking them on the tit much easier. It was hard with the first one for a few weeks but after that it was pretty easy. I was kind of determined to stick with it though.
If their sleep sucks, you can sleep train at 4mo and it will change your life. I'm the mother, I was breastfeeding and co-sleeping and it fucking broke me. I hated it and was getting no sleep. Sleep training was the best thing we ever did since having our first.
Co sleeping is having the baby in your bed and you both sleep there. It's not recommended by most authorities because it carries risks like rolling onto baby, baby falling off bed, but the reality is it's the only way a lot of parents are able to get young babies to sleep for any stretch of time. There are ways to do it safely, Google will be able to advise on this. Note though you should NEVER EVER co sleep if you e taken alcohol or drugs (I also think it's not recommended to co sleep if you are a smoker).
For sleep training I worked with a sleep consultant, she was based in Dublin area and worked with me remotely (I'm in the west) and was worth every penny. I can share details if you're interested. It is possible to do it using free resources online and in books though. The best book for it is called Precious Little Sleep.
You probably won’t feel this immediate bond with your baby, but don’t worry - you do still love them! Everyone talks about this immediate falling in love total bond - I remember feeling quite detached for the first 24 hours, thinking it was a lovely baby but not feeling like he was mine and feeling there was something wrong with me because of it. But when I thought of something happening to them, I got really upset - then I realised I did love them, I just didn’t know them yet.
I was overjoyed when they were born, it was more that night when everything was settled down, that’s when I was thinking “lovely baby, but whose is he?”
A baby can't fall off the floor. If you need to leave a room in a hurry place them on the floor.
Gonna write this one down. Big brain shit. But can they squirm away while you're outside the room? What if they squirm away and start playing with electric cables and stuff. I'm guessing there's an age limit to this hack.
Part of baby proofing is ensuring there are no cables lying about; I’d have that done by four months just to be safe!
If you have room, set up a travel cot in the living room and place the child in the cot if you're leaving the room.
It's called not putting your kids in danger. If sockets nearby, nope.
If in a couple, parenting should be split equally. If one person had a sudden emergency the other should be able to take over no questions asked. Also there shouldn’t be one “fun parent”. Never say never and never judge other parents; You don’t know how, when or why your parenting style might change. Children thrive on consistency and boundaries. You don’t need a fraction of the things advertised at you. Photos and videos are priceless; they grow almost too quick to capture. You’ll quickly see your children reflected back at you; your words, morals and attitude- You may not always like what you see!
Make a regular amount of noise while the baby's sleeping from day one otherwise you'll have a kid who wakes from a pin dropping
Be careful of the advice you listen to....my whole experience of having kids is that people encourage you to do what they did to justify/validate their choices. I don't mean it in a bitchy way, I'm sure I do the same myself. I presume it's because we don't really have a clue! But breast v bottle is a perfect example....the kid will be fine no matter what you choose. And it'll be the same with soothers, training wheels, sports, schools, lunch, phones....parenting is full of landmines 😉 And if you say "Jesus" on a regular basis, your 10 year old will too!! 🙈🙊
Everything is a phase that will pass.
This is a top response. When you move into a rough stage like a development stage and they become really hard work, you think they have just changed and this is them now but its always just a phase. When you have more kids then you realise this and its easier each time.
You know those little vests with the envelope necklines? They can be taken off by pulling down as well as up. Invaluable when dealing with a poo explosion.
I don't know what this is. Do you mean a v-neck t-shirt?
Vests like [these ones](https://www.next.ie/en/style/st407747/615805#615805). The neckline has folds in it so that you can pull it down from the baby’s shoulders rather than having to pull it over their heads. If they’ve had a leaky poo pulling a messy vest over their heads can get poo all over their head - much harder to clean poo from their hair than their legs. I’ll add that I was on child no 3 before I twigged this - I blame the lack of sleep…
The sleepless nights, the financial stress, the hard work - that won't be much of a surprise. But the psychological work that you have to do on yourself is hardcore. If you can't control your emotions, your child won't either and then you are in for a very bumpy ride
Be prepared for childhood shit to re emerge in ways you don't expect. Some stuff I'd half forgotten about loomed large when my kids hit certain ages. It's OK to put a screaming baby or toddler into a safe place and let them scream for a few minutes while you walk away and take some deep breaths. You need to be a team as parents. Be in agreement on stuff like if you're willing to baptise and what you're going to let go when the time comes. I don't love how one of mine dresses but I'm not going to battle over it. You really only have 12 or 13 years to influence their way of seeing the world. Once they're in secondary school you don't have the same level of contact with the parents of their friends or as much control over their social circles. I'm a way more chill parent than I expected. I think this is partly because my kids are pretty chill and partly because I find parenting much less hassle than a lot of people tried to make me think it is.
What do you mean by the first one? Childhood shit.
How my parents parented mainly. I was smacked as a kid and I have no idea why my parents did this when I look at my own kids. Then they also weren't particularly empathetic and my father in particular kind of opted out of parenting in many ways.
My mother used to smack/hit me as a kid and I honestly don't know how she could do it. My kids (tweens) are absolute pains in the backside sometimes and I'd be fit to kill them but I genuinely cannot imagine hitting them or even wanting to do that to them. It's so visceral and extreme. I wasn't a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination so if my parents were still alive it would definitely be something I would have a go at them about.
I was hit or smacked for what I realised were normal kid misbehaviours. I won't forgive and forget that my parents thought physical punishment was fine to do. Too many people think "it never did them any harm". Hitting your kids is bad parenting.
I’ve alway wondered why my mother smacked me. I was a grand child, never in any trouble, did well in school. I honestly to this day can’t imagine what I did that deserved to be hit over. I just cannot fathom hitting any of my kids. Imagine hitting a 5 year old.
What about a clatter of a wooden spoon on the bum?
I was given wooden spoons to the bare arse as a kid. Not sure if it did any good but I'm not traumatized or anything. The plastic wooden spoons are the worst ones. Maybe smacks have a different affect. Don't have any memory of that. Edit: oh yeah, my grandad used to smack me on the arse. Well deserved, I used to play in his flower garden and destroy everything. I eventually stopped doing that and I now respect florist people and I miss him.
Maybe you've normalised physical violence without realising it.
Ffs
Hitting children is illegal now, as well as shit parenting.
Some laugh making a run for it and feeling the swoop from a wooden spoon just miss your arse. I’d say my Mam missed on purpose though.
but also in a wider sense - you start to remember your childhood in a way that you probably wouldn't if you don't have kids. It all comes back to you. And then you start wondering: was I as annoying as this fella? Do my parents remember how much hard work I was? The overlap is such a mindfcuk
Whatever advice was available tonus as first-time parents in 2009, I dont think anything could have prepared us for the dangers of social media and the damaging impact it can have on a young person's life.
We've co-slept with both of ours, they both are/were breastfed until they wanted to stop (eldest at 3, baby stoll going at 1). It maximises your sleep as you can stick them on a tit as soon as they begin to stir, no wailing, no getting up out of your warm bed to make fucking bottles. Yes, it's more work for the mother in feeding the child, but that's where your job to step up and look after your other half comes in and feed her while she feeds the baby. Baby wearing in a sling or a harness is a life saver, baby gets cuddles, parents have their hands free for whatever they want to do. Especially important for a second when you're chasing a toddler around. You can plan labour all you like but that kid has their own plan and theirs trumps yours every time. The years are short, but fuck me the days are long sometimes... Keep them in a rear-facing car seat as long as possible. It's safer, and ye can share chocolate up the front without them realising. When they're being absolute ballbags stick them in the bath/shower/splash in puddles/paddling pool. Something about water will reset the mood for them 9 times out of 10. You'll never feel anger quite like seeing some little bastard being mean to, or hurting, your child. You still can't hurt them, as much as you'll be tempted. It's honestly the best craic in the world. Some days are utter shite but dear god then they learn to smile or blow you a kiss and it's everything.
1 kid is just 1 kid. 2 kids is the same as 83 kids.
I wish someone told me the mess that can happen between a baby and one of the bouncers that hang off the doors The shit went up back and sides it was everywhere
You know your own child best. We were in the Doctor's office sometimes late at night many times over the first couple of months. Everything was fine but don't feel guilty about needing a second opinion
Be prepared for anything related to harm coming to children in movies, tv, news to have a massive emotional effect on you. Be prepared for minor differences between you and your partner to become major differences due to tiredness, stress e.t.c Figure our schooling quickly - where are you going to live to get the school you want? Get your names down for schools. They are going to be a sick, a lot. Caring for a sick child can be very challenging (and heartbreaking) There are some magical moments along the way but it can be a bit gruelling until they are about about six and have a little bit of independence. Then it's pure joy until they wake up a teenager.
This is sound advice, like most of the other posts. I found the biggest challenge in the early days was tiredness. People without children have no idea how bad this can be. Sleep whenever you can, wherever you can, at any time of day. What came out of the blue for me was how frequently sick I was once the children started crèche / child minder. Be prepared to change plans with no notice. Your life BC (Before Children) will eventually seem like a pleasant dream you once had. Your new reality will be busier and you'll become more efficient at doing everything because you'll realise how precious your time is now.
https://www.corkbeo.ie/news/local-news/soldier-who-beat-woman-unconscious-29403987 Don't leave your child grow up like this POS. That's all I'm saying.
One piece of advise I give to all new parents is to have your kids clean up after themselves as soon as possible. For example, When they first start walking and you change their vest and pjs, have your toddler put the dirty clothes into the wash basket, always put their toys back into the toy box. I mean any little mess they make, have them clean up after themselves, once they're capable of doing the chore of course. This is a habit that will become part of life as they grow up. Otherwise you might end up with messy lazy teenagers who can't do anything for themselves. And you as a parent won't be nagging them all the time. I wish I done this when my teenage boys were young.
I'm inclined to agree with this. My child is only 2 but we've encouraged him to do things himself from the get go and he already puts his clothes in the laundry basket, brings his dishes to the sink etc. He loves to "help" me sweep the floors, sort the laundry etc and even though everything takes longer, I always encourage him in doing these things as I want it to be engrained into him that these are just the things everyone does as part of a household.
Don’t buy all the equipment straight away. Get the basics and add as you need. There aren’t enough hours a day to use all the swings etc. The best night time routine is no routine. If babs is a good weight and obvs not colicky, let them sleep at night as long as they will. I’ve done this twice and they’ve slept through since 6 weeks. Smile through all the well meaning advice and then do your own thing with your partner.
Kids are aware of a lot more than people give them credit for even if they don't know what is going on exactly. they can often sense when something isn't working/right
Save the number for the poison unit in your phone
Your kid hasn't a fucking clue who you are until they're a few months old. That one surprised me. I was also surprised to discover that breastfeeding is so difficult. Maybe women know that already, but it was news to me. My kid is 2 and refuses to go to sleep before 10:30 pm. She also sleeps in our bed and always has. Don't do that. Do proper sleep training if you can.
All great points. Don't be alarmed if you don't feel a connection to your child. It will come. Takes me over a year. Breastfeeding support is attrotious and I'm shocked at how little breastfeeding struggles are discussed. On the sleep thing. Put baby straight into their own bed. Like a bedside sleeper, by your side but not touching. Nightime = darkness, silence and boredom. Never sway from that. Sleep challenges will always pop up but you can set strong foundations that will make your life so much easier. Lucy Wolfe's book is great to have.
Oh I don’t know about the sleeping thing. I still sleep with my 5 year old and we love it. There’ll be a time when he won’t want to sleep with me anymore and I’ll miss it. I’d say enjoy the time when they’re small and want all the snuggles as it goes by so fast.
Mine wakes up several times every night. I will never miss this.
Just curious, but what do you do when they wake? Our three (7,4,2) sleep through most of the time but on the odd occasion that they don't we just let them sleep the rest of the night in our bed. It saves a lot of stress not having to do a whole bedtime routine again or strip the bed if they've peed. When they were night weaning I'd stay in their room if they woke, so they wouldn't try to start feeding again.
>Just curious, but what do you do when they wake? She usually asks for water or milk
What killed us in the beginning with our first was the 45 minutes trying to get him back to sleep on a shoulder and then transfer him to the cot. We eventually tried letting him into the bed and it was life changing. He used to wake for anything, a wet nappy or even a fart was all it took.
Is it a boy? Is there a risk he'll turn out to be a "mammy's boy" like father Dougal or something? 5 years is very old to be still cuddling with mammy. But I'm not a parent yet so don't have a clue. But it is something I don't want to happen to my kid.
So what age do you think boys should stop cuddling their mother?
I guess 1 year old? "mammy's boy syndrome" is definitely a problem in Ireland and you know it. I don't want my kid to have that syndrome. Your boy is probably going to be like father Dougal. I'm saying this for his own good. Not trying to be offensive or anything.
We were going down the road of bringing our one year old into our bed most of the night just to be able to get some sleep. Then we got her a toddler pillow - full nights in her own cot since. Fucking miracle. Best €35 I ever spent
Hey would you have a link for what you bought ... miracles welcome ha
https://www.smythstoys.com/ie/en-ie/baby/toddler-bedroom/toddler-bedding/clevamama-clevafoam-toddler-pillow/p/170479 They have cute pillowcases for about a tenner too.
How does it help them sleep? It looks like a very flat pillow.
It would be a very flat pillow for an adult but it makes a difference for a smallie. Honestly don’t know why it made such a difference to her sleep, but I’ll take any win I can get! Also, kids are weird. What works for one might not for the next.
For your second point, why didn't you use formula? I'm asking this out of pure ignorance not being judgemental or anything.
Breast feeding is better for them. She got it going eventually, but there was a lot of work in it.
We formula fed all of ours from birth- It’s up to everybody to decide what’s best for them and their family but in my experience it was to this day the best parenting decision we’ve made. I’d definitely recommend at least being open to formula feeding and having some pre-made bottles on standby, even if your intention is to breastfeed.
I see Aldi have formula that's half price compared to the good stuff. Would you trust that?
From what I understand formula is so tightly regulated that they almost all have the same ingredients- I would ensure though that your local Aldi have it in stock regularly as it is recommended to stick with the same formula brand.
All formula for under 1 year is the same so dont be hesitant to choose a cheaper option
Tesco have price matched now, so the SMA we've used all along is the same price as the Aldi brand. The Aldi one does have palm oil in it, and we found it less pleasant to work with - the texture of the powder was more claggy and sticky than the SMA. Nutritionally they are identical, as people have said they have to be legally. There are all sorts of reasons for breastfeeding challenges, for me my little guy was very sleepy (had to be woken up to feed) and had no interest in feeding for a good week or two. That meant my supply never increased enough to move off bottles, and I don't know if that would have always been the case. I tried triple feeding (bottles, bringing to the breast, and pumping) but I found it soul destroying so decided to go with as much combo feeding as I could do - it's important to remember it's not just breast or formula, it can be both and recent research shows that even one breast feed a day confers many of the benefits for the immune system and microbiome. Being able to share the feeding with my husband made a huge difference to my mental health in the first 3 months.
What does SMA mean?
SMA is the brand, there are only a handful of formula brands and it's one of the older ones, like Cow & Gate. They are all made by the same two companies though, Nestle or Danone!
I breastfed all my kids. Bottle feeding is a real hassle. I found sticking them on the tit much easier. It was hard with the first one for a few weeks but after that it was pretty easy. I was kind of determined to stick with it though.
If their sleep sucks, you can sleep train at 4mo and it will change your life. I'm the mother, I was breastfeeding and co-sleeping and it fucking broke me. I hated it and was getting no sleep. Sleep training was the best thing we ever did since having our first.
What is co-sleeping? Going to sleep at the same time as the baby? No matter what time of day? Where did you learn sleep training?
Co sleeping is having the baby in your bed and you both sleep there. It's not recommended by most authorities because it carries risks like rolling onto baby, baby falling off bed, but the reality is it's the only way a lot of parents are able to get young babies to sleep for any stretch of time. There are ways to do it safely, Google will be able to advise on this. Note though you should NEVER EVER co sleep if you e taken alcohol or drugs (I also think it's not recommended to co sleep if you are a smoker). For sleep training I worked with a sleep consultant, she was based in Dublin area and worked with me remotely (I'm in the west) and was worth every penny. I can share details if you're interested. It is possible to do it using free resources online and in books though. The best book for it is called Precious Little Sleep.
Don’t do it
You probably won’t feel this immediate bond with your baby, but don’t worry - you do still love them! Everyone talks about this immediate falling in love total bond - I remember feeling quite detached for the first 24 hours, thinking it was a lovely baby but not feeling like he was mine and feeling there was something wrong with me because of it. But when I thought of something happening to them, I got really upset - then I realised I did love them, I just didn’t know them yet. I was overjoyed when they were born, it was more that night when everything was settled down, that’s when I was thinking “lovely baby, but whose is he?”