You’re off base. Sex toys are there to help you, not *replace* you.
Your girlfriend’s not gonna stop wanting sex just ‘cause you whip out a vibrator sometimes. If that were the case, she wouldn’t have bothered with the sex in the first place.
I think it made sex more enjoyable for us both. I don't feel as much pressure about getting her off. What usually takes her 20 minutes now takes her like 5 lol
Totally agree. I got my gf a vibrator and it was the cherry on top of the sundae. If I couldn't satisfy her we would whip it out and finish off strong. Best investment ever.
I haven't used toys in the bedroom yet but I can feel OP's hesitance about bringing the Starship Entervibro into the bedroom lmao. These things are advanced these days no? Good to read all the positive feedback for him here.
Lol. Everyone knows dicks come in all shapes and sizes, but so do vaginas. I'm dead on the nose average and I've been with women where that was too big for them and I've also dated a girl where, I'm telling you man, this chick's vagina was like the 9th wonder of the natural world. We had a dildo that would make a porn star feel insecure and good golly miss molly she would just disappear this thing like a fucking magician, shit was incredible to watch, I have no idea where that thing even went down there. I honestly miss having sex with her, she was wild.
Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it.
>Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it.
Female here.
THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE.
I'm not contributing anything to this conversation besides cheering loudly
>Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it.
👏👏👏👏👏
Say it louder! Tell all your friends!
Being the partner who isn't afraid or emasculated by adding toys to the bedroom will make her think of you as her best sex, not least. Good sex is about openness and finding out what the other person likes.
This is 100% true. Every woman I've ever spoken to on the topic of sex (assuming she wanted to bring toys into the equation to begin with) saw it as a plus if their partner was adventurous with toys.
Think of it like this. If you weren’t together, she’d be using these toys anyway, right? So she’s not replacing anything, she’s just inviting you to share something very private with her because she trusts you and, presumably, already enjoys your sex life.
It’s not about you as a partner, it’s about the two of you as a couple.
Even Batman uses a utility belt bro =) As other commentors have said - it's not about replacing/emasculated you, its about her wanting different types or stimulation to take her to the next level. She won't think less of you, she'll be happy about the fact that you're helping her get there.
I am not sure you understand what High Libido means.
Your fear of toys is also off base. I enjoy using toys on my partner because it is more efficient and fun and experimental, but I am an old man.
maybe i'm a bit immature about the situation. your opinion is appreciated and the more i hear of men having positive experiences with them and their partner i feel more empowered to use them. thanks
Listen JD. I’m a 60 year old female who uses toys with my husband of 37 years. He was ok with the clitoral vibe but vehemently opposed dildos and esp those which were larger than him and he is average like you. I’ve worked with him and convinced him that his dick is better than a dildo but I like dildos too. He will freely admit it is just hot to use it on me now. After awhile I’m always like gimme the dick now. At the end of the day sex is about giving each other pleasure not how the pleasure is administered. I also love being fingered and oral sex. Your dick is a tool in the box along with vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, fingers, tongue and whatever else turns y’all on. Use all the toys! Experiment and never stop studying how to have a more fulfilling sex life! Now get after it!
I'm just going to add to this, as someone who uses dildos with and on her husband, no matter what size, pattern, vibration a dildo has going on, a real penis attached to a real person is (almost always) better.
Tbh I am just lazy. It takes a lot of work to get women to climax, for most women anyway, so toys allow me to be lazy and they can get themselves off easily. It's fun too.
So what you do is sit on the bed, and she sits in your lap facing you and you slide inside her. Your legs are behind her, hers are behind you.
Then you both lean back, so her hands are on the bed behind her. This puts pressure on the front wall of her vagina, where the G spot is. Work your hips so you're moving in and out with pressure along that front wall.
Then you turn on a vibrator and move it against her clitoris.
When we do this, my wife SCREAMS when she comes. After, she nearly passes out. She can't think straight, or say words, or anything. It's fun! The first time we tried it, she said that now she knows how she wants to die.
And the toys are nice, but your presence, pushing against the front wall of her vagina, is an absolutely essential part of this.
Yup. The first time I experienced clitoral, g-spot, and cervix stimulation all at once, I had an orgasim so amazing and intense, it literally made me cry! (Happy crying, lol)
High libido in a long term relationship means you're gonna have to get spicy and make things different occasionally or you'll get bored. Imagine if you marry this girl, or you're with her for like 10 years. Gotta do something to keep it fresh. It's like agreeing to only eat when you're with each other, no one else, and she's just asking if she can bring a bottle of mustard.
My ex had many toys but it was always an aide and she never fully enjoyed the toys by themselves. She enjoys the human element- the heat, the skin to skin contact, the breathing/moaning, and intensity. In her words “there’s no replacement for the real thing” .
Yes and Yes. Hand cuffs, crops, vibrators, ropes, dildos. Toys aren't about being inadequate, it's about exploring in the bedroom. Have her use a vibrator on herself while she sucks your dick. I guarantee this will change your feeling on toys in the bedroom.
The best position for this (IMO) is a T shape. Guy laying down, partner on all fours perpendicular going down but with their hindquarters in arms reach. Use hands or toys to go to town while they do.
52m, married 25 years and together for 27. I'm HL, and she is LL, but the 2 drawers of my nightstand look like an Adam & Eve catalog!
I've never felt inadequate because a female's libido changes for so many reasons, and my only concern is getting her to orgasm. Sometimes oral will get her there, and sometimes PIV, but rately. I know there's always a 100% guarantee of getting her there with our arsenal of toys.
no but mine has bumps all over it...for her pleasure of course..does that count? my doctor doesnt think so but what do they know with all their fancy science and 'penicillin' is needed here.
Well, you can buys some soft silicon rings that makes it vibrate. OP should look at some of those for mutual enjoyment. Those can be fun because it is for both of you…
Definitely second the wand. My fiancee was on the fence about them until she tried the one I bought for us. She orgasmed so hard she stars and couldn't form coherent sentences for a few minutes, it was awesome
I started buying my wife toys when I was away for work, so she could use them on herself while thinking of me. And then they became part of sexy time. It’s one of the few ways I can double penetrate my wife by myself.
She wants to use the toys WITH you, that tells you just how much your presence contributes to her feeling good. She could just use a vibrator or dildo alone to satisfy her needs, but she'd prefer you to be using them on her.
I just grabbed every supplement I could outside of the pharmaceuticals, hydrated, and dug deep. Had to channel my early to mid 20s himbo hat rack/towel rack self and hang on. Hung in there and made it another 13 years, just passed 8 of them married. Axe the porn and exercise. Get more sleep than you think you need and be grateful to be here. If she’s into the toys then you’re into toys now too go for it lad!!!
You think you're really competing with a precision instrument scientifically designed to get her off?
Just have fun with it. Like the other guy said, let it compliment you
Dude. They are fucking awesome to use. It will only make the whole experience better. I feel like I want them for her just as much as she wants them for her.
It's just another tool in your arsenal as a backup when needed. If her eyes are rolling in the back of her head multiple times I doubt she is going to moan 🤣. There lucky enough to have multiple orgasms so give it to them if possible
Yes toys have been used, it's sexy as hell to watch her have orgasims. She always says nothing is as good as the real thing, so that makes me feel pretty good.
Don't worry about the toys. There will always be a big difference between you using toys on her and her using toys on her. And she will probably want piv still, even if toys can be more efficient
As others have said, it's not a replacement, it's variety. Now, your response to this challenge is to accept it.
To develop techniques and skills and ways of creating tension and mystery in the bedroom. She wants you to lead, not get sketched out by her libido.
Consider yourself lucky and rise to the occasion. You might want to work on your muscles and cardio while you're at it.
As someone who, as a younger man, was a sexual athlete, it's fucking FUN to do that. I wish I'd had the confidence I have now as a young man, I'd be unstoppable.
You might also want to practice retaining your semen as you should be able to do with someone with high libido. I found The Internal Exercises by Stephen Chang to be helpful in my own internal practice that helped in many ways but also helped with sexual fitness, retention, and endurance.
Toys are the greatest thing since sliced bread you wouldn’t work on an engine without a proper set of tools, right. They make things easier more relaxed more fun and overall a great experience. Don’t be afraid of those tools are your wrenches have fun and enjoy working on the engine.
As a woman with a high libido it's not all about climaxing, I literally don't care if I have 10 orgasms or none when I'm horny, I just want to touch and tease and kiss and be sexual. In fact, sometimes it's even better for your sex life and for her satisfaction if you don't make her orgasm, but just take advantage of how often she gets turned on throughout the day and edge her.
I'm a girl but wanted to give my pov here if it's ok.
I sometimes find myself wanting to use toys with my partner but also anxious about it because I don't want them to ask themselves the same question that you are right now. For me, the toys are in noooo way a mean to replace the partner, if so I would do it on my own, without the partner around, right ? It's just that if the toy vibrates for example well... Then sometimes I do want to feel a vibration down there, but you cannot give this vibration with your body. Also, the feeling to have someone else using the toy is incredible because you can be vulnerable, and you can watch her while you're doing the pleasure because yes the toy vibrates or whatever but you're the one holding it and so you're the one giving pleasure. I understand you could feel bad about it but don't, it's really a proof that she trusts you completely, and she wants to feel different kind of pleasure with you. Also, you might understand stuff about her body according to what she wants to use, where etc etc so that's good to take note for your future plays ahaha. Hope this helps :)
i appreciate your perspective. this thread made me realize i don't have a reason to be insecure because she wants to be and is vulnerable enough to ask and act on it with me. if he has any problems with it when you ask him, send him this post🤣
You are off base. She doesn't have the same refractory period you do. Toy the fuck out of her and encourage her to use them on her own. If you do it right, she can get herself 60% of the way there and you can come and dump your load and comfort her with your heavy naked body on top of hers which will fill the void or bring her to climax.
>i have a new girlfriend who has incredibly high libido and I want to satisfy her.
Welcome to the club, it's fun but challenging. Stock the fridge with Gatorade and pick up a waterproof pet blanket from Costco.
>. i have been able to get her to climax multiple times, but im worried its still not enough
Is she telling you it's not enough? Or is this your own insecurity talking? Have you had a conversation about this with your partner? You really should.
>she has mentioned using toys, but im afraid it could eventually lead to our normal sex life turning into mostly toys
If someone says they're hungry after dinner and would like a snack, do you fear you'll never eat dinner again? Or is it more likely you'll just have bigger dinners in the future. If your girlfriend wants more sex than you are able to provide it's highly unlikely that she's suddenly going to want no sex just because you used a toy.
>which in my mind would lead to feelings of inadequacy
You've already got feelings of inadequacy. That's obvious. And it's largely because you're framing this as you v.s. the toy instead of you and the toy v.s. her needs.
You're not competing with the toy, it's a tag team partner. You tag it in when your pecker needs a 15 minute breather and a shot of Gatorade and the minute you're good to go you tag it out and dive back in!
It doesn't get a say in the matter either because it's an inanimate object. And being jealous of or worried about an inanimate object stealing your partner is all in your head...unless it's a meth pipe or ACOTAR book then you're just being realistic.
>am I off base?
Ya. Pretty far. But excusably so. Society has made you feel this way, you're taught that you're the man and you should always be the sexual aggressor and that if you can't satisfy it's a negative reflection on you.
Here to tell you brother: The Game Is Rigged! They have no refractory period and most of the positions require little to do effort from them! Any woman with an equal or greater libido than their partner is gonna outpace him.
And the worst thing you can do for you, her, and your relationship in that situation is to get defensive or fragile about it, or do something that shames her for having a high libido.
It's completely fine and valid to tell someone "Hey I'm not in the mood right now" if you're just not feeling it. But if you're feeling up to it and you wanna make them happy never feel like using a toy or your hands or your mouth is a bad thing!
Think of if you had a buddy and he said "Man I want it a lot more than my girlfriend, so like whenever I'm in the mood but she's not she'll give me head or use a Fleshlight on me".
You'd think that guy was the luckiest guy in the world! So be that partner.
Seems like my girlfriend's libido has been going down, but that still doesn't mean that toys aren't a useful tool. I want her to have a good time, with or without me, or somewhere between.
I make a fantastic pot roast. It's tender, it's got all the umami, it hits all the right notes of rich beefy goodness. And my wife loves it.
I haven't the slightest clue how to bake rosemary garlic bread which my wife also loves. But if my wife wants rosemary garlic bread and I go buy it for her and I bring it to her, she's happy and I get credit for making her happy. Who cares who actually made the bread?
My wife has zero complaints about my performance in the bedroom AND I'm more than happy to utilize extra gadgetry to make her happy in bed. It's actually a series of wins. Less cleanup for my junk, I get to watch her go crazy, I don't have to expend as much energy, sex can last a lot longer when we want it to, wins all around.
Toys are there to help you! Not to make you feel like less of a partner. Me and my wife have talked about this. We have a normal sex life and but sometimes one of us just needs a little bit extra! Toys are for this exact purpose, solo or partnered play!
I love using toys because it lets me get to know my partner better and what turns them on and makes them feel best and I include it in our time together.
I Iove using toys in the bedroom! I can fuck her while she's sucking my dick, it's like having 2 dicks!
It's also an opportunity to fully focus on pleasuring her as well. You don't realize how much you miss because you're paying attention to your own dick. Using a toy to get her off while watching and touching... Oh man,.. You haven't lived until you taken her to the brink of sexual insanity and then finished her off with a trip to pound town. *chef's kiss
Using toys has made our sex life better, they aren't going to replace you.
I understand the concern. Too much porn and masturbation can sap men's desire for their partners. It's not the same thing with women and sex toys though.
Sex toys can be a highly valued ally in the long hard battle to multiple mind numbing orgasms, never the enemy.
She’s not gonna remember the toy that made her forget her name but she is gonna remember the person that got her turned on enough for it to happen
Embrace the toys! I adore using toys in the bedroom, it's not about replacing you it's about exploring new ways to enjoy each other. Do be afraid to also bring in toys she can use on you.
Bro, sex toys are a tool. We’re taught that sex = how long you can last inside a woman. That’s wrong, toys help you prolong the experience and give her more pleasure, which in turn makes her want to pleasure you more.
If you can integrate toys into your sex it’ll pay off
I had one of those girlfriends once. Turned out she used sex as a coping mechanism. She had a lot of issues so she wanted to have a lot of sex. She wanted to use toys, she wanted to have sex in public, she wanted to have a threesome.
What she didn’t want was intimacy. Once I figured that out it all made sense and it was time for me to leave that relationship.
I'm the high libido of our relationship, and we still use toys. I've never felt inadequate, and she has never wanted to replace me for the toy. It's all in your head.
I’ve worked in the adult merchandise industry. The most successful couples I’ve worked/shopped for, have toys, try different things, and are playful. It makes absolutely no sense not to have them. Start your collection today!
As a woman, I just want to say. All sex toys do is amplify.
Sex toy plus sex? Absolutely heaven.
Would I rather masturbate or be intimate with my partner? Be intimate. Every time.
Using a sex toy makes everything quicker, it takes the stress off of me trying to cum quick enough or even at all. AND it makes everything feel so much more intense.
I had a gf like this. I spent a long time feeling inadequate and being upset about the toys. Looking back, I think what the hell was I thinking. I could have been spending time fondling and playing with a womans body while getting myself off at the same time, but instead I was worried and stressed that the toys meant I wasn't man enough. Idiot!!
Honestly man, I spent ages upset by it. This was 10 plus years ago. I look back and think what the hell was I thinking. I could have been spending that time playing with a pussy lol
Don’t think like that. They are robots, felt so shitty when my ex got jealous of our sex toy I brought into the bedroom for US. He got insecure over a robot who’s sole purpose is for climax. There’s nothing wrong with using toys
Toys shouldn't be view as replacements but as enhancements.
If she doesn't mind being on top, I highly recommend GODEMICHE grind ring. They are out of UK, I ordered from them off of their Etsy shop. I'm talking eyerolling orgasm with spasms.
At least in our case, a vibrator is used pretty much every time as the knockout punch. You shouldn't worry too much. there is no right or wrong way to have sex. If she's having fun and satisfied, and you're having fun and satisfied, well you're good to go!
We use a lot of sex toys. We also have sex a lot. It’s important to communicate, though. I’ve asked her if it makes my dick not feel as good, and she said it makes it feel even better because she is more sensitive after the vibrations
Love toys with my wife. Let's me play with her or watch her play which are both super hot while I can take a brake or slow down on myself if needed. If you care about each other it's all just about enjoying one another and pleasing one another. Use em man. Creativity is fun in the bedroom.
Like someone else on here said, they aren't going to be a replacement for you. They are a very helpful tool to enhance her pleasure. It can make your job a lot easier which if she has a rather large libido, is something you will want as it can get mentally exhausting otherwise. Using the toys properly is itself a skill so it doesn't make you any less of a man for using them.
You’re off base.
Toys just make things better, not worse. I love using them with partners, and I think it can really add to your repertoire. The only time I’d start to be concerned is if she starts wanting to just use them alone and never with you, and I mean NEVER, as in she’s doing it with the toys even when you’re there and wanting to go.
As long as you’re part of the equation, you’re fine.
We bought each other toys for fun. She cums much faster with it while we have sex, so I usually bring it out for her.
Hilariously, she seemed to get jealous of the one she bought me. She got all emotional about it, and accused me of liking it more than sex (used a total of twice, and only at her suggestion). Rather than fight about something so ridiculous, I just threw it away to end it.
No matter what in a relationship you're going to always have to spice thing up eventually especially if you're going the long run. Playing the same hits over and over is going to lead to a dead bedroom. Toys are fun not just for her but for you too and can extend playtime by quite a bit and lead to new opportunities. It doesn't mean your inadequate, just means you know how to have fun. Go to a adult store with her pick out some things both of you would enjoy.
Toys have been SO much fun. Some days, some encounters, I just want him though. If his enthusiasm and purchase history are any indication then he definitely enjoys them as well. It did take some trial before finding dildos comfortably compatible with my vagina. I do enjoy vibrational, clitoral stimulation. A couple of weeks with a set of training butt plugs took me from a hard no on anal to 5 secs of prep and I'm down anytime. Most recently, we've discovered using a smaller, vibrating dildo in my vagina with him during PIV feels amazing for both of us. Even better if I also have a plug in. Toys are our friends!
My husband and I whip put a vibrator every time we have sex. It's there to help you, not replace you! I promise you I have never wanted my man any less because we use a vibrator. Absolutely nothing can ever replace the feeling of him inside me. The vibe just makes it easier for me to O.
Yep. Have used sex toys with some of my past girlfriends. As long as we both are having a good time, no issues. If she really cares and wants to be with you toys will only enhance things.
I know you asked for men’s advice, but I think my perspective may help. My husband called my vibrator his assistant and would use it in between rounds or when he was tired or just for something different. I’m now a widow and only have the vibrator. It is way better than nothing, but absolutely not as good as a real person. It will never replace you. Use it as a warm up occasionally (maybe for first orgasm) before PIV and she will be more ready to enjoy PIV.
Every girl needs one. End of story. I'd be a mean woman without mine. I feel like I'm walking on sunshine cause I climax regularly. Mine keeps me sane.
I've really enjoyed reading this thread.
I wanted to chime in as a bisexual afab person (if that's alright)- to add another perspective. When I'm with a woman, neither of us have a penis that came with the original packaging - using toys, whether dildos or vibrators, doesn't take away from anything we share together without them. It just makes sex a different sort of fun, varied, intimate, and exciting. It's still incredibly intense and wonderful when it's just the two of us and the things we were born with.
Look at it this way: Do you feel inadequate because you have to drive instead of walking? People have always made tools to make life easier. Unless you're gonna start popping viagra every time she's in the mood (please don't do that), toys are a good alternative.
Besides, along as you're there encouraging and she's getting off, I don't think she'll mine you using toys
Every woman I date, I want them to cum as much as possible. I buy them toys, use my dick, my hands, fingers, massages, everything possible to make them cum.
The love of my life-met on bumble after years of trying, so keep going boys-uses a small vibrator to cum. I’ve been told my member is large and does the trick. This threw me for a loop at first. Turns out; it has nothing to do with you, the size of your member or how you use it. But rather, how your partner feels during intercourse. She doesn’t need it. She needs me. But she prefers it to make sex more fun and efficient.
Get after it, dude.
These toys are just tools, not replacements. They are there to augment sex, not replace you as a partner.
Adding in toys to certain types of play was a game changer, in a good way.
I'm a tradesman, I have a truck full of tools that make my job easier, better and save my body from excess wear and tear. They don't make me feel like less of a tradesman. Same with sex toys. They are tools that allow you to be the superman in bed that she wants.
High libido girl here. Love fucking. Any chance I can get my panties are down. I always wanted my man. Toys were fun and they did help to make me cum hard and fast.
But nothing beats having that cock, his hands, his body, his mouth.
Toys are just a tool to have some extra intense fun. Have her use them on you too! Two way street 💦💦💦
My ex and I used toys regularly, but not every time. My record making her cum without toys was 11, with toys it was 19 before she begged me to stop. Toys are just another tool to add pleasure.
As a girl with a high libido, the toys will only elevate yours and her experience and will never replace you. If they could replace you she never would have sought you out. We have access to all the toys in the world but it's so much more fun with someone else there 😋 hope this helps
Toys aren’t going to steal you’re girlfriend away from you dude 😂 I’d say most women like it when toys are used in combination with traditional sex. You’re looking at them as the enemy when really you should be thinking of them as a friend (especially a nice vibrator)
Better learn how to eat pussy.
You'll know you're doing a good job if your face is a sloppy mess afterward.
Put her on the edge of the bed so that she's at face level when you're kneeling down beside the bed. This will save your neck from getting strained.
Use your fingers or a toy to add internal stimulation.
Experiment with finding a rhythm to her orgasms so that you roll several on top of each other.
Your goal should be to leave her with her legs shaking a weak from several consecutive orgasms.
Bonus points if you can get yourself in there on one of those and pump a few out of her with your penis once the storm starts.
You are off base, sex toys are to add to the enjoyment of sex, absolutely nothing to be insecure about.
And nothing wrong if you use the toy Everytime either, if it makes her feel great, you put your big boy pants on, and you satisfy her.....and she will most likely return the favor.
Hi, higher sex drive girlfriend here 🙋🏻♀️
First and foremost, if you have made your *new* girlfriend finish multiple times, you have nothing to be self conscious about. I am someone who doesn’t normally finish during sex, so if you’ve done that without any toys that’s a great thing.
Second, toys are not competition and DEFINITELY not your replacement. Start with just a vibrator, have sex while she uses it on her clit, that’ll up her orgasms to an even better level, and it’s still a moment between you two. Or use it on her, tie her up and force an orgasm, or bring her almost to orgasm and stop and make it fun. Think of it in the way that isn’t intimidating to you and your dick, but something hot that your girl is into and allows you to do to her because she’s fun in the bedroom!
Then you can move on to other things for you BOTH. Cock rings, nipple clamps, dick sleeves, whips, blind folds, bondage, anal toys for you both. Talk about what you both want to try and then it’s not “my girlfriend needs toys” it’s “me and my girlfriend try toys together”.
My boyfriend and I have a shared Amazon list where we add sex toys we want to try. That way you can see what your partner is adding, theres no judgement if you don’t want to say it out loud, and you can surprise each other with something they put on the list.
Sounds like you have a great sexual partner who can explore things with you, don’t feel insecure about her request, feel happy she wants to expand with you to heightened sex.
Not girlfriend, but we've dated in the past. Her words resonate with other girls I've asked this question of in the past, and the answer is that "toys are nice, but you want the real thing now and again".
It's like a Fleshlight versus the real thing.
I was in a 4-year relationship with a gal like that. She always wanted all kinds of toys, but the only one she used 99.9% of the time was a vibrator on her clit. She was so numb from using that thing that she is the only woman I have ever been with that couldn't orgasm without it. Way overused!
toys are great fun, embrace them. Dont be intimidated by them, you cant vibrate,and just note neither can she and that shit feels good for you too. Toys will spice things up and bonus when she wants to play with them you get to have sex. just think of them as an extension of yourself, not the competition.
You sound really young and very inexperienced.
Stick a dildo in her arse while she rides you. You ain't being replaced by a rubber cock. Use them if she is into toys as a bonus on top.
Don’t even worry about it mate. Toys are your friend, not your competition. If she wanted just the toys she could have done that without the boyfriend.
Yes you are off base. The simple truth is the connection and climax is different with real people. It's been explained to me that my penis feels a lot better than a cold toy. Confidence is key here. I use toys quite often with partners. As with all things. Communication is key.
Make it an adventure for both of you. I bought my wife many toys and we use them together. And if the mood strikes I'm fine with her using them alone. Why restrict it? What would that possibly gain anyone?
Is there something wrong with a senior citizen still having a high sex drive I am a attractive woman who still has a high dry, but my significant other complain he can’t keep up. Is there something wrong with me for being this way?
use this as a way to spend more time together outside of sex as well, go to an adult store look at the toys and fun stuff you can buy and try \*together\*. its a great bonding experience both in and out of sex.
Toys will not replace you, so put that thought to bed. They'll just save your wrists and jaw from getting carpal tunnel syndrome from trying to keep this gal satisfied.
Sex toys (just like your dick) are like carpenters' tools. Someone who knows what they're doing knows that there is a right tool for the job at hand. Sometimes more than one tool will accomplish the job, so the two of you can then decide which tool to use and when.
Also, you can reach different spots than she can with those toys, simply because you have more freedom of movement. That means if she learns to love something in particular, she'll ask YOU to do it.
The easiest way to say this is that toys are your teammates, not your competition.
Toys aren’t dynamic enough to replace you, bro. You’re more than likely fine. If it’s not a match based on this, then it’s not a match. It wouldn’t be a reflection on you or her. Some people are happy with one chip, some people need the whole bag. Libido and sexual needs are individual to everyone. It’s no different than one person being an introvert and another being an extrovert.
If you start getting in your head about this, it’s only going to make it worse if you’re determined to stick with her. Just try to stick it out and if it becomes an issue, just let it go. The worse thing to do to yourself is to internalize perceived sexual issues as proof of some kind of “inadequacy”.
Does it bother you if she uses her hand? A vibrator is just making that part easier.
A lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. All of us are different, so while some women have a clitoris low enough to the vagina which can allow us to orgasm during penetrative sex, some don't and need some more stimulation to get there.
No, it won't cause a "dead clit". She would have to be extremely excessive to even achieve such a feat, and if she's not a porn star, then she would never get to that point. No, it won't replace you. There's no replacing you or the emotional connection you both share.
Even if you don't have penetrative sex together, and just use toys sometimes, it's still about having fun together. If you enjoy hand jobs and blow jobs, so does she. If you're still nervous, you can always try a vibrating cock ring to start with.
Makes sex life more fun, interesting and adventurous. Like discovering a new flavour or ingredient it doesn't make you dislike the one you already new it just adds more to enjoy and you keep cycling through all the flavours.
Massage guns and vibrators are awesome. I don't need to add a dildo as I am sometimes painful for her.
Dno about making me feel any different but a massage gun is a guaranteed squirt if you aren't a dork, if I'm being honest.
You’re off base. Sex toys are there to help you, not *replace* you. Your girlfriend’s not gonna stop wanting sex just ‘cause you whip out a vibrator sometimes. If that were the case, she wouldn’t have bothered with the sex in the first place.
I think it made sex more enjoyable for us both. I don't feel as much pressure about getting her off. What usually takes her 20 minutes now takes her like 5 lol
Ah the magic of the magic wand
My wife's BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
It’s a collab, not a competition
Totally agree. I got my gf a vibrator and it was the cherry on top of the sundae. If I couldn't satisfy her we would whip it out and finish off strong. Best investment ever.
I haven't used toys in the bedroom yet but I can feel OP's hesitance about bringing the Starship Entervibro into the bedroom lmao. These things are advanced these days no? Good to read all the positive feedback for him here.
appreciate the perspective. what about dildos?
Lol. Everyone knows dicks come in all shapes and sizes, but so do vaginas. I'm dead on the nose average and I've been with women where that was too big for them and I've also dated a girl where, I'm telling you man, this chick's vagina was like the 9th wonder of the natural world. We had a dildo that would make a porn star feel insecure and good golly miss molly she would just disappear this thing like a fucking magician, shit was incredible to watch, I have no idea where that thing even went down there. I honestly miss having sex with her, she was wild. Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it.
>Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it. Female here. THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE. I'm not contributing anything to this conversation besides cheering loudly
>Sex isn't just you put penis in, girl cums. Your penis isn't *you,* sexually. It's a tool you have. You are what you can *do,* and how you can make her feel. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can do with girls. Go have fun with it. 👏👏👏👏👏 Say it louder! Tell all your friends!
Being the partner who isn't afraid or emasculated by adding toys to the bedroom will make her think of you as her best sex, not least. Good sex is about openness and finding out what the other person likes.
This is 100% true. Every woman I've ever spoken to on the topic of sex (assuming she wanted to bring toys into the equation to begin with) saw it as a plus if their partner was adventurous with toys.
She just likes variety. Penetrative sex isn’t all about orgasms, especially not for women. She doesn’t feel emotionally connected to a sex toy.
ok so it's more of an extension of me rather than "you can't do this"
Think of it like this. If you weren’t together, she’d be using these toys anyway, right? So she’s not replacing anything, she’s just inviting you to share something very private with her because she trusts you and, presumably, already enjoys your sex life. It’s not about you as a partner, it’s about the two of you as a couple.
this is probably the most reassuring comment so far 🙏
Trust me, she wouldn’t bring it up if she weren’t into you. As a general rule, women don’t masturbate in front of guys they don’t like 😆
Even Batman uses a utility belt bro =) As other commentors have said - it's not about replacing/emasculated you, its about her wanting different types or stimulation to take her to the next level. She won't think less of you, she'll be happy about the fact that you're helping her get there.
And you'll have a nice comfortable view from the splash zone
Very nicely put!
Use the dildos while you work her clit with your mouth, use it as an add on to your already existing work 🙏🏽👀
this entire thread is eye opening. I appreciate your opinion and will be implementing things shortly 😈
Dildos and vibrators don’t feel anywhere near as good as the real thing, IMO
Bam 🫴🏿👑
I am not sure you understand what High Libido means. Your fear of toys is also off base. I enjoy using toys on my partner because it is more efficient and fun and experimental, but I am an old man.
maybe i'm a bit immature about the situation. your opinion is appreciated and the more i hear of men having positive experiences with them and their partner i feel more empowered to use them. thanks
Listen JD. I’m a 60 year old female who uses toys with my husband of 37 years. He was ok with the clitoral vibe but vehemently opposed dildos and esp those which were larger than him and he is average like you. I’ve worked with him and convinced him that his dick is better than a dildo but I like dildos too. He will freely admit it is just hot to use it on me now. After awhile I’m always like gimme the dick now. At the end of the day sex is about giving each other pleasure not how the pleasure is administered. I also love being fingered and oral sex. Your dick is a tool in the box along with vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, fingers, tongue and whatever else turns y’all on. Use all the toys! Experiment and never stop studying how to have a more fulfilling sex life! Now get after it!
I'm just going to add to this, as someone who uses dildos with and on her husband, no matter what size, pattern, vibration a dildo has going on, a real penis attached to a real person is (almost always) better.
Gotta love us senior lovers so to speak and still having fun with our partners and having sex both with or without toys.
Tbh I am just lazy. It takes a lot of work to get women to climax, for most women anyway, so toys allow me to be lazy and they can get themselves off easily. It's fun too.
Toys are your teammates not your enemies.
This is the way
So what you do is sit on the bed, and she sits in your lap facing you and you slide inside her. Your legs are behind her, hers are behind you. Then you both lean back, so her hands are on the bed behind her. This puts pressure on the front wall of her vagina, where the G spot is. Work your hips so you're moving in and out with pressure along that front wall. Then you turn on a vibrator and move it against her clitoris. When we do this, my wife SCREAMS when she comes. After, she nearly passes out. She can't think straight, or say words, or anything. It's fun! The first time we tried it, she said that now she knows how she wants to die. And the toys are nice, but your presence, pushing against the front wall of her vagina, is an absolutely essential part of this.
Yup. The first time I experienced clitoral, g-spot, and cervix stimulation all at once, I had an orgasim so amazing and intense, it literally made me cry! (Happy crying, lol)
High libido in a long term relationship means you're gonna have to get spicy and make things different occasionally or you'll get bored. Imagine if you marry this girl, or you're with her for like 10 years. Gotta do something to keep it fresh. It's like agreeing to only eat when you're with each other, no one else, and she's just asking if she can bring a bottle of mustard.
ok thank you, each person commenting is making me feel more secure about it.
My dude you eat chicken with sauce all the time, the sauce doesn’t replace the chicken. Your dick isn’t special to her, but YOU are.
That is the greatest analogy I've heard for this. Thank you.
That's horrible. It should be special. It's a part of him.
My ex had many toys but it was always an aide and she never fully enjoyed the toys by themselves. She enjoys the human element- the heat, the skin to skin contact, the breathing/moaning, and intensity. In her words “there’s no replacement for the real thing” .
Yes and Yes. Hand cuffs, crops, vibrators, ropes, dildos. Toys aren't about being inadequate, it's about exploring in the bedroom. Have her use a vibrator on herself while she sucks your dick. I guarantee this will change your feeling on toys in the bedroom.
The best position for this (IMO) is a T shape. Guy laying down, partner on all fours perpendicular going down but with their hindquarters in arms reach. Use hands or toys to go to town while they do.
>hindquarters People don't have hindquarters. :p
I appreciate that he wanted to describe a fairly raunchy sex act without saying "ass." Ya know, to keep it classy. edit: grammar
We need to bring back the word "nethers."
I'll call Megan Thee Stallion and let her know her next song should be about eating "the nethers"
Toys are great, embrace them. Sex isn't a competition, it's adults having unstructured fun together as a team. Do whatever brings you both joy.
Use them to compliment you
What vibrator is going to be like “nice dick”?
I appreciate that.
Go with her to a sex store. Usually employees in there are female and can help guide you in how to enhance the intimacy part lol
"Usually women in there are female" 🤔
All the stores near me have females working in there
"women are female"
Employees I meant
Toys add to the fun. It’s only a problem if she’s only using toys and not fucking you anymore
52m, married 25 years and together for 27. I'm HL, and she is LL, but the 2 drawers of my nightstand look like an Adam & Eve catalog! I've never felt inadequate because a female's libido changes for so many reasons, and my only concern is getting her to orgasm. Sometimes oral will get her there, and sometimes PIV, but rately. I know there's always a 100% guarantee of getting her there with our arsenal of toys.
Bro you’re WAY too insecure. My dick doesn’t vibrate, does yours?
no but mine has bumps all over it...for her pleasure of course..does that count? my doctor doesnt think so but what do they know with all their fancy science and 'penicillin' is needed here.
Ribbed for her pleasure.
Ewww. (I'm dating myself here...this, combined with OdderOtter6's comment, is a movie quote. Anybody know what movie?)
[удалено]
Party on, Wayne.
The ribbed parts even self lubricate also, so not sure why anyone complain..pleasure and natural lubrication? fancy pants doctors, dont know nuttin.
That's why chicks dig guys with Parkinson's Disease
Well, you can buys some soft silicon rings that makes it vibrate. OP should look at some of those for mutual enjoyment. Those can be fun because it is for both of you…
That's the point. It's not supposed to vibrate so if she prefers a vibrating toy he's screwed
Absolutely. A penis and toys aren’t a this or that scenario.
Sex toys are great G. I recommend a magic wand style vibrator. You can edge her and really extend your sessions. You'll blow her mind.
Definitely second the wand. My fiancee was on the fence about them until she tried the one I bought for us. She orgasmed so hard she stars and couldn't form coherent sentences for a few minutes, it was awesome
Here is what I did: Buy a bunch of them, name them, use them frequently, and get one of those remote-controlled vibrators too. Have fun with it.
Toys can be used in conjunction with your own equipment. Usually this means a tiny little vibrator on the outside and you on the inside.
I started buying my wife toys when I was away for work, so she could use them on herself while thinking of me. And then they became part of sexy time. It’s one of the few ways I can double penetrate my wife by myself.
She wants to use the toys WITH you, that tells you just how much your presence contributes to her feeling good. She could just use a vibrator or dildo alone to satisfy her needs, but she'd prefer you to be using them on her.
I just grabbed every supplement I could outside of the pharmaceuticals, hydrated, and dug deep. Had to channel my early to mid 20s himbo hat rack/towel rack self and hang on. Hung in there and made it another 13 years, just passed 8 of them married. Axe the porn and exercise. Get more sleep than you think you need and be grateful to be here. If she’s into the toys then you’re into toys now too go for it lad!!!
You think you're really competing with a precision instrument scientifically designed to get her off? Just have fun with it. Like the other guy said, let it compliment you
You just proved his concern.
Dude. They are fucking awesome to use. It will only make the whole experience better. I feel like I want them for her just as much as she wants them for her.
It's just another tool in your arsenal as a backup when needed. If her eyes are rolling in the back of her head multiple times I doubt she is going to moan 🤣. There lucky enough to have multiple orgasms so give it to them if possible
I mean.. she might be moaning. But yknow..
Yes toys have been used, it's sexy as hell to watch her have orgasims. She always says nothing is as good as the real thing, so that makes me feel pretty good.
So many troll deviants here lately 😬
Don't worry about the toys. There will always be a big difference between you using toys on her and her using toys on her. And she will probably want piv still, even if toys can be more efficient
As others have said, it's not a replacement, it's variety. Now, your response to this challenge is to accept it. To develop techniques and skills and ways of creating tension and mystery in the bedroom. She wants you to lead, not get sketched out by her libido. Consider yourself lucky and rise to the occasion. You might want to work on your muscles and cardio while you're at it. As someone who, as a younger man, was a sexual athlete, it's fucking FUN to do that. I wish I'd had the confidence I have now as a young man, I'd be unstoppable. You might also want to practice retaining your semen as you should be able to do with someone with high libido. I found The Internal Exercises by Stephen Chang to be helpful in my own internal practice that helped in many ways but also helped with sexual fitness, retention, and endurance.
Toys are the greatest thing since sliced bread you wouldn’t work on an engine without a proper set of tools, right. They make things easier more relaxed more fun and overall a great experience. Don’t be afraid of those tools are your wrenches have fun and enjoy working on the engine.
I think thats what I was missing. They are tools. I fucking love tools :D
Whether she has a high libido or not, add a toy or two to the equation.
As a woman with a high libido it's not all about climaxing, I literally don't care if I have 10 orgasms or none when I'm horny, I just want to touch and tease and kiss and be sexual. In fact, sometimes it's even better for your sex life and for her satisfaction if you don't make her orgasm, but just take advantage of how often she gets turned on throughout the day and edge her.
I'm a girl but wanted to give my pov here if it's ok. I sometimes find myself wanting to use toys with my partner but also anxious about it because I don't want them to ask themselves the same question that you are right now. For me, the toys are in noooo way a mean to replace the partner, if so I would do it on my own, without the partner around, right ? It's just that if the toy vibrates for example well... Then sometimes I do want to feel a vibration down there, but you cannot give this vibration with your body. Also, the feeling to have someone else using the toy is incredible because you can be vulnerable, and you can watch her while you're doing the pleasure because yes the toy vibrates or whatever but you're the one holding it and so you're the one giving pleasure. I understand you could feel bad about it but don't, it's really a proof that she trusts you completely, and she wants to feel different kind of pleasure with you. Also, you might understand stuff about her body according to what she wants to use, where etc etc so that's good to take note for your future plays ahaha. Hope this helps :)
i appreciate your perspective. this thread made me realize i don't have a reason to be insecure because she wants to be and is vulnerable enough to ask and act on it with me. if he has any problems with it when you ask him, send him this post🤣
You are off base. She doesn't have the same refractory period you do. Toy the fuck out of her and encourage her to use them on her own. If you do it right, she can get herself 60% of the way there and you can come and dump your load and comfort her with your heavy naked body on top of hers which will fill the void or bring her to climax.
>i have a new girlfriend who has incredibly high libido and I want to satisfy her. Welcome to the club, it's fun but challenging. Stock the fridge with Gatorade and pick up a waterproof pet blanket from Costco. >. i have been able to get her to climax multiple times, but im worried its still not enough Is she telling you it's not enough? Or is this your own insecurity talking? Have you had a conversation about this with your partner? You really should. >she has mentioned using toys, but im afraid it could eventually lead to our normal sex life turning into mostly toys If someone says they're hungry after dinner and would like a snack, do you fear you'll never eat dinner again? Or is it more likely you'll just have bigger dinners in the future. If your girlfriend wants more sex than you are able to provide it's highly unlikely that she's suddenly going to want no sex just because you used a toy. >which in my mind would lead to feelings of inadequacy You've already got feelings of inadequacy. That's obvious. And it's largely because you're framing this as you v.s. the toy instead of you and the toy v.s. her needs. You're not competing with the toy, it's a tag team partner. You tag it in when your pecker needs a 15 minute breather and a shot of Gatorade and the minute you're good to go you tag it out and dive back in! It doesn't get a say in the matter either because it's an inanimate object. And being jealous of or worried about an inanimate object stealing your partner is all in your head...unless it's a meth pipe or ACOTAR book then you're just being realistic. >am I off base? Ya. Pretty far. But excusably so. Society has made you feel this way, you're taught that you're the man and you should always be the sexual aggressor and that if you can't satisfy it's a negative reflection on you. Here to tell you brother: The Game Is Rigged! They have no refractory period and most of the positions require little to do effort from them! Any woman with an equal or greater libido than their partner is gonna outpace him. And the worst thing you can do for you, her, and your relationship in that situation is to get defensive or fragile about it, or do something that shames her for having a high libido. It's completely fine and valid to tell someone "Hey I'm not in the mood right now" if you're just not feeling it. But if you're feeling up to it and you wanna make them happy never feel like using a toy or your hands or your mouth is a bad thing! Think of if you had a buddy and he said "Man I want it a lot more than my girlfriend, so like whenever I'm in the mood but she's not she'll give me head or use a Fleshlight on me". You'd think that guy was the luckiest guy in the world! So be that partner.
Seems like my girlfriend's libido has been going down, but that still doesn't mean that toys aren't a useful tool. I want her to have a good time, with or without me, or somewhere between.
Toys are your teammates. They aren't your competition.
I make a fantastic pot roast. It's tender, it's got all the umami, it hits all the right notes of rich beefy goodness. And my wife loves it. I haven't the slightest clue how to bake rosemary garlic bread which my wife also loves. But if my wife wants rosemary garlic bread and I go buy it for her and I bring it to her, she's happy and I get credit for making her happy. Who cares who actually made the bread? My wife has zero complaints about my performance in the bedroom AND I'm more than happy to utilize extra gadgetry to make her happy in bed. It's actually a series of wins. Less cleanup for my junk, I get to watch her go crazy, I don't have to expend as much energy, sex can last a lot longer when we want it to, wins all around.
The toys won't make her forget you, relax, at most it will be memorable if you know how to use things to your advantage
Toys are there to help you! Not to make you feel like less of a partner. Me and my wife have talked about this. We have a normal sex life and but sometimes one of us just needs a little bit extra! Toys are for this exact purpose, solo or partnered play! I love using toys because it lets me get to know my partner better and what turns them on and makes them feel best and I include it in our time together.
I Iove using toys in the bedroom! I can fuck her while she's sucking my dick, it's like having 2 dicks! It's also an opportunity to fully focus on pleasuring her as well. You don't realize how much you miss because you're paying attention to your own dick. Using a toy to get her off while watching and touching... Oh man,.. You haven't lived until you taken her to the brink of sexual insanity and then finished her off with a trip to pound town. *chef's kiss
Introducing sex toys is amazing, get on it,
Using toys has made our sex life better, they aren't going to replace you. I understand the concern. Too much porn and masturbation can sap men's desire for their partners. It's not the same thing with women and sex toys though.
Sex toys can be a highly valued ally in the long hard battle to multiple mind numbing orgasms, never the enemy. She’s not gonna remember the toy that made her forget her name but she is gonna remember the person that got her turned on enough for it to happen
Embrace the toys! I adore using toys in the bedroom, it's not about replacing you it's about exploring new ways to enjoy each other. Do be afraid to also bring in toys she can use on you.
seems like a lot of y’all are using toys on your partners but nobody is mentioning the toys that get used on them
Bro, sex toys are a tool. We’re taught that sex = how long you can last inside a woman. That’s wrong, toys help you prolong the experience and give her more pleasure, which in turn makes her want to pleasure you more. If you can integrate toys into your sex it’ll pay off
100% Go to the store together and buy things together
I had one of those girlfriends once. Turned out she used sex as a coping mechanism. She had a lot of issues so she wanted to have a lot of sex. She wanted to use toys, she wanted to have sex in public, she wanted to have a threesome. What she didn’t want was intimacy. Once I figured that out it all made sense and it was time for me to leave that relationship.
I'm the high libido of our relationship, and we still use toys. I've never felt inadequate, and she has never wanted to replace me for the toy. It's all in your head.
I’ve worked in the adult merchandise industry. The most successful couples I’ve worked/shopped for, have toys, try different things, and are playful. It makes absolutely no sense not to have them. Start your collection today!
As a woman, I just want to say. All sex toys do is amplify. Sex toy plus sex? Absolutely heaven. Would I rather masturbate or be intimate with my partner? Be intimate. Every time. Using a sex toy makes everything quicker, it takes the stress off of me trying to cum quick enough or even at all. AND it makes everything feel so much more intense.
I had a gf like this. I spent a long time feeling inadequate and being upset about the toys. Looking back, I think what the hell was I thinking. I could have been spending time fondling and playing with a womans body while getting myself off at the same time, but instead I was worried and stressed that the toys meant I wasn't man enough. Idiot!!
thank you bro, i'm gonna try to learn from your experience.
Honestly man, I spent ages upset by it. This was 10 plus years ago. I look back and think what the hell was I thinking. I could have been spending that time playing with a pussy lol
Don’t think like that. They are robots, felt so shitty when my ex got jealous of our sex toy I brought into the bedroom for US. He got insecure over a robot who’s sole purpose is for climax. There’s nothing wrong with using toys
Toys shouldn't be view as replacements but as enhancements. If she doesn't mind being on top, I highly recommend GODEMICHE grind ring. They are out of UK, I ordered from them off of their Etsy shop. I'm talking eyerolling orgasm with spasms.
Reminder that it's actually super gay to make a woman cum. Avoid those sex toys king.
At least in our case, a vibrator is used pretty much every time as the knockout punch. You shouldn't worry too much. there is no right or wrong way to have sex. If she's having fun and satisfied, and you're having fun and satisfied, well you're good to go!
We use a lot of sex toys. We also have sex a lot. It’s important to communicate, though. I’ve asked her if it makes my dick not feel as good, and she said it makes it feel even better because she is more sensitive after the vibrations
Love toys with my wife. Let's me play with her or watch her play which are both super hot while I can take a brake or slow down on myself if needed. If you care about each other it's all just about enjoying one another and pleasing one another. Use em man. Creativity is fun in the bedroom.
Like someone else on here said, they aren't going to be a replacement for you. They are a very helpful tool to enhance her pleasure. It can make your job a lot easier which if she has a rather large libido, is something you will want as it can get mentally exhausting otherwise. Using the toys properly is itself a skill so it doesn't make you any less of a man for using them.
Its like spices on food to me, without it tastes great. With is even better and more interesting.
You’re off base. Toys just make things better, not worse. I love using them with partners, and I think it can really add to your repertoire. The only time I’d start to be concerned is if she starts wanting to just use them alone and never with you, and I mean NEVER, as in she’s doing it with the toys even when you’re there and wanting to go. As long as you’re part of the equation, you’re fine.
Toys are like adding toppings to ice cream. Ice cream is great by its self, but amazing with your favorite toppings!!
We bought each other toys for fun. She cums much faster with it while we have sex, so I usually bring it out for her. Hilariously, she seemed to get jealous of the one she bought me. She got all emotional about it, and accused me of liking it more than sex (used a total of twice, and only at her suggestion). Rather than fight about something so ridiculous, I just threw it away to end it.
No matter what in a relationship you're going to always have to spice thing up eventually especially if you're going the long run. Playing the same hits over and over is going to lead to a dead bedroom. Toys are fun not just for her but for you too and can extend playtime by quite a bit and lead to new opportunities. It doesn't mean your inadequate, just means you know how to have fun. Go to a adult store with her pick out some things both of you would enjoy.
Toys are great. Full stop
Toys have been SO much fun. Some days, some encounters, I just want him though. If his enthusiasm and purchase history are any indication then he definitely enjoys them as well. It did take some trial before finding dildos comfortably compatible with my vagina. I do enjoy vibrational, clitoral stimulation. A couple of weeks with a set of training butt plugs took me from a hard no on anal to 5 secs of prep and I'm down anytime. Most recently, we've discovered using a smaller, vibrating dildo in my vagina with him during PIV feels amazing for both of us. Even better if I also have a plug in. Toys are our friends!
Nah man. You want to use those. It’s a plus that she’s bringing it up to you and not sancho.
I've been married for 20 years and I can't imagine not using toys. I have more than just body parts. I have a tool box.
Toys are tools for orgasms. Why unscrew a bolt with your fingers when you could use a wrench?
My husband and I whip put a vibrator every time we have sex. It's there to help you, not replace you! I promise you I have never wanted my man any less because we use a vibrator. Absolutely nothing can ever replace the feeling of him inside me. The vibe just makes it easier for me to O.
Yep. Have used sex toys with some of my past girlfriends. As long as we both are having a good time, no issues. If she really cares and wants to be with you toys will only enhance things.
I know you asked for men’s advice, but I think my perspective may help. My husband called my vibrator his assistant and would use it in between rounds or when he was tired or just for something different. I’m now a widow and only have the vibrator. It is way better than nothing, but absolutely not as good as a real person. It will never replace you. Use it as a warm up occasionally (maybe for first orgasm) before PIV and she will be more ready to enjoy PIV.
Every girl needs one. End of story. I'd be a mean woman without mine. I feel like I'm walking on sunshine cause I climax regularly. Mine keeps me sane.
I've really enjoyed reading this thread. I wanted to chime in as a bisexual afab person (if that's alright)- to add another perspective. When I'm with a woman, neither of us have a penis that came with the original packaging - using toys, whether dildos or vibrators, doesn't take away from anything we share together without them. It just makes sex a different sort of fun, varied, intimate, and exciting. It's still incredibly intense and wonderful when it's just the two of us and the things we were born with.
I did. Felt good, because she enjoyed it even more.
Look at it this way: Do you feel inadequate because you have to drive instead of walking? People have always made tools to make life easier. Unless you're gonna start popping viagra every time she's in the mood (please don't do that), toys are a good alternative. Besides, along as you're there encouraging and she's getting off, I don't think she'll mine you using toys
Every woman I date, I want them to cum as much as possible. I buy them toys, use my dick, my hands, fingers, massages, everything possible to make them cum.
The love of my life-met on bumble after years of trying, so keep going boys-uses a small vibrator to cum. I’ve been told my member is large and does the trick. This threw me for a loop at first. Turns out; it has nothing to do with you, the size of your member or how you use it. But rather, how your partner feels during intercourse. She doesn’t need it. She needs me. But she prefers it to make sex more fun and efficient. Get after it, dude.
These toys are just tools, not replacements. They are there to augment sex, not replace you as a partner. Adding in toys to certain types of play was a game changer, in a good way.
Believe me, introducing a vibrator into the equation is going to make her want you more, not less
I'm a tradesman, I have a truck full of tools that make my job easier, better and save my body from excess wear and tear. They don't make me feel like less of a tradesman. Same with sex toys. They are tools that allow you to be the superman in bed that she wants.
High libido girl here. Love fucking. Any chance I can get my panties are down. I always wanted my man. Toys were fun and they did help to make me cum hard and fast. But nothing beats having that cock, his hands, his body, his mouth. Toys are just a tool to have some extra intense fun. Have her use them on you too! Two way street 💦💦💦
My ex and I used toys regularly, but not every time. My record making her cum without toys was 11, with toys it was 19 before she begged me to stop. Toys are just another tool to add pleasure.
As a girl with a high libido, the toys will only elevate yours and her experience and will never replace you. If they could replace you she never would have sought you out. We have access to all the toys in the world but it's so much more fun with someone else there 😋 hope this helps
Toys aren’t going to steal you’re girlfriend away from you dude 😂 I’d say most women like it when toys are used in combination with traditional sex. You’re looking at them as the enemy when really you should be thinking of them as a friend (especially a nice vibrator)
Better learn how to eat pussy. You'll know you're doing a good job if your face is a sloppy mess afterward. Put her on the edge of the bed so that she's at face level when you're kneeling down beside the bed. This will save your neck from getting strained. Use your fingers or a toy to add internal stimulation. Experiment with finding a rhythm to her orgasms so that you roll several on top of each other. Your goal should be to leave her with her legs shaking a weak from several consecutive orgasms. Bonus points if you can get yourself in there on one of those and pump a few out of her with your penis once the storm starts.
You are off base, sex toys are to add to the enjoyment of sex, absolutely nothing to be insecure about. And nothing wrong if you use the toy Everytime either, if it makes her feel great, you put your big boy pants on, and you satisfy her.....and she will most likely return the favor.
👆 This is excellent advice.
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Hi, higher sex drive girlfriend here 🙋🏻♀️ First and foremost, if you have made your *new* girlfriend finish multiple times, you have nothing to be self conscious about. I am someone who doesn’t normally finish during sex, so if you’ve done that without any toys that’s a great thing. Second, toys are not competition and DEFINITELY not your replacement. Start with just a vibrator, have sex while she uses it on her clit, that’ll up her orgasms to an even better level, and it’s still a moment between you two. Or use it on her, tie her up and force an orgasm, or bring her almost to orgasm and stop and make it fun. Think of it in the way that isn’t intimidating to you and your dick, but something hot that your girl is into and allows you to do to her because she’s fun in the bedroom! Then you can move on to other things for you BOTH. Cock rings, nipple clamps, dick sleeves, whips, blind folds, bondage, anal toys for you both. Talk about what you both want to try and then it’s not “my girlfriend needs toys” it’s “me and my girlfriend try toys together”. My boyfriend and I have a shared Amazon list where we add sex toys we want to try. That way you can see what your partner is adding, theres no judgement if you don’t want to say it out loud, and you can surprise each other with something they put on the list. Sounds like you have a great sexual partner who can explore things with you, don’t feel insecure about her request, feel happy she wants to expand with you to heightened sex.
Someone call the firefighters, that pussy is burning! 🔥 🚒
Yeah guys get the Hitachi Wand
Chill man
Not girlfriend, but we've dated in the past. Her words resonate with other girls I've asked this question of in the past, and the answer is that "toys are nice, but you want the real thing now and again". It's like a Fleshlight versus the real thing.
I have a hi libido wife and toys are my friends. Hi libido is one of the most challenging hi maintenance woman traits.
Don't be afraid of toys, they are super fun. Get some for yourself too. I'll bet she will be very excited to use them on you!
Sex toys are awesome! They’re fun and a bit kinky. Highly recommend them in the bedroom
Well…a sore wrist until I found an attachment for my hammer drill
Get one of those kits where you mold your penis. Hell get multiple of them
Toys are tools used as an addition not a substitute They’re fun to include
Toys are fucking awesome. See what I did there? 🙌🏽
Toys are your allies friend
I was in a 4-year relationship with a gal like that. She always wanted all kinds of toys, but the only one she used 99.9% of the time was a vibrator on her clit. She was so numb from using that thing that she is the only woman I have ever been with that couldn't orgasm without it. Way overused!
Toys are fun. Get some to use on her and some for her to use on you.
toys are great fun, embrace them. Dont be intimidated by them, you cant vibrate,and just note neither can she and that shit feels good for you too. Toys will spice things up and bonus when she wants to play with them you get to have sex. just think of them as an extension of yourself, not the competition.
You sound really young and very inexperienced. Stick a dildo in her arse while she rides you. You ain't being replaced by a rubber cock. Use them if she is into toys as a bonus on top.
i am, that's why I came here to get the opinions of veterans.
Get good, bro.
Don’t even worry about it mate. Toys are your friend, not your competition. If she wanted just the toys she could have done that without the boyfriend.
Instead of toys I used a real dick of my friend
My use of GI Joe with the kung fu grip did not go over well in the bedroom.
Use toys. Toys are good. Toys are even good if you are more than capable of getting her off without them
Yes you are off base. The simple truth is the connection and climax is different with real people. It's been explained to me that my penis feels a lot better than a cold toy. Confidence is key here. I use toys quite often with partners. As with all things. Communication is key.
Time to go shopping with her at the toy store. I'm partial to the remote controlled vibrators. Have her put it in and go shopping for a new dress.
Make it an adventure for both of you. I bought my wife many toys and we use them together. And if the mood strikes I'm fine with her using them alone. Why restrict it? What would that possibly gain anyone?
Is there something wrong with a senior citizen still having a high sex drive I am a attractive woman who still has a high dry, but my significant other complain he can’t keep up. Is there something wrong with me for being this way?
use this as a way to spend more time together outside of sex as well, go to an adult store look at the toys and fun stuff you can buy and try \*together\*. its a great bonding experience both in and out of sex.
Michael Jordan was an incredible basketball player. Rodman’s assists made him a LEGEND.
My GF has a very high libido. She says I may be the only guy to keep up with her. She has toys. They are only a supplement. Not a replacement.
Toys will not replace you, so put that thought to bed. They'll just save your wrists and jaw from getting carpal tunnel syndrome from trying to keep this gal satisfied.
As a gf with a high libido who has frequently used toys, it’s not like that every time in our sex life. But every woman is different.
Sex toys (just like your dick) are like carpenters' tools. Someone who knows what they're doing knows that there is a right tool for the job at hand. Sometimes more than one tool will accomplish the job, so the two of you can then decide which tool to use and when. Also, you can reach different spots than she can with those toys, simply because you have more freedom of movement. That means if she learns to love something in particular, she'll ask YOU to do it. The easiest way to say this is that toys are your teammates, not your competition.
Toys aren’t dynamic enough to replace you, bro. You’re more than likely fine. If it’s not a match based on this, then it’s not a match. It wouldn’t be a reflection on you or her. Some people are happy with one chip, some people need the whole bag. Libido and sexual needs are individual to everyone. It’s no different than one person being an introvert and another being an extrovert. If you start getting in your head about this, it’s only going to make it worse if you’re determined to stick with her. Just try to stick it out and if it becomes an issue, just let it go. The worse thing to do to yourself is to internalize perceived sexual issues as proof of some kind of “inadequacy”.
I feel like using toys in bed has really made play time a lot of fun for my girl and I. I highly recommend bringing them into the bedroom.
Does it bother you if she uses her hand? A vibrator is just making that part easier. A lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. All of us are different, so while some women have a clitoris low enough to the vagina which can allow us to orgasm during penetrative sex, some don't and need some more stimulation to get there. No, it won't cause a "dead clit". She would have to be extremely excessive to even achieve such a feat, and if she's not a porn star, then she would never get to that point. No, it won't replace you. There's no replacing you or the emotional connection you both share. Even if you don't have penetrative sex together, and just use toys sometimes, it's still about having fun together. If you enjoy hand jobs and blow jobs, so does she. If you're still nervous, you can always try a vibrating cock ring to start with.
Makes sex life more fun, interesting and adventurous. Like discovering a new flavour or ingredient it doesn't make you dislike the one you already new it just adds more to enjoy and you keep cycling through all the flavours.
Massage guns and vibrators are awesome. I don't need to add a dildo as I am sometimes painful for her. Dno about making me feel any different but a massage gun is a guaranteed squirt if you aren't a dork, if I'm being honest.
She enjoys toys i think.
I mean, what we did was silly fun, silly horny fun to be precise, but it wasn't me getting replaced.