You should meet my wife. I met her 5 years ago, and after a ton of bad relationships, decided I would just be upfront with her and tell her how it is. This is the best relationship I have ever had, I take care of her, she spoils me. It was rough the first year though...
I'm in a similar situation with my wife, and very happy about it. Though I can honestly say my ability to be honest with her is limited to important subjects only. I wouldn't answer the prompt's question lol.
In this case, my wife is more attractive than her two best friends. But she will be the first to admit if there is a beautiful woman nearby when we are out. I don't really stare at people so she never gets insecure about it. In general though, I tell her if I don't like an outfit she is wearing and am not shy about setting my own expectations and standards. The standards thing was the biggest difference between this relationship and others. I didn't wait six months before telling her something bothered me , I said it the first time. Sometimes she will say that she doesn't care if I don't like something because she wants to wear it or do it, which is respectable, but at least she isn't deluded about my impression of it.
I can say in honesty my wife is beautiful to me. She'll never see it, but she is. But yeah, if something bothers me that she does, I don't usually bottle it up either, but she also doesn't wear anything I'm upset by, she's pretty modest.
For me it's less about the sexiness of her clothes and more about the level of class. A good example is when she tried to go out to a restaurant with me and she was basically wearing sweatpants and a shirt with holes in the sleeve, things like that. I wouldn't even consider dating someone who dresses like a street walker. She was not a very neat or together person when I first met her. She didn't put effort into things she did but expected to be treated like she did. I helped her learn to understand things like being responsible with money, presenting yourself the way you want to be seen rather than demanding people see you a certain way regardless of how you look and act.
You're alone on that one friend, I think I'm in your wife's position there lol. It's rare I do more than jeans and a t-shirt, though it's rare we do more than a nice meal to ourselves. I can definitely understand your position though.
Jeans and a T-shirt is fine, sweatpants for sushi, less fine lol. But I do understand what you mean. I have high expectations because I want a certain type of life. She also wanted that type of life, so she accepted the expectations and requirements that come with it, even if she pushed back at the time. She went from a failed musical theater student to marketing director at a museum and she has thanked me for helping her become the person that deserves that job. It's not like she didn't help me grow or this was all one direction, that wouldn't be a relationship, but what I learned and gained from her would be a separate conversation.
I'm in the same situation with my current gf. A lot of women don't like my honesty and 0-tolerance for bullshit questions like "would you love me if I was a worm". I'll just tell her, no I wouldn't love a worm. Now she calls me out if she senses I'm pandering to her. It is by far the best relationship I've ever had.
I want honesty. but then again i'm the type of bitch that will already know the answer to the question, Mostly i don't have unattractive friends.
Any woman that asks that question already knows you find her friend attractive and she just wants to hear you say it out loud maybe so she can have a reason to bring up whatever is bugging her about you and her friend like maybe she saw you gawking or eye fucking her or some shit. This isn't just random conversation or a random fact that she's just dying to know
For real. He should turn the question back on her & ask why she's even asking this question in the first place. If he says no it's like he's calling her friend ugly, if he says yes, then she'll think he's cheating on her. If he tries to take the neutral approach, she'll think he's lying to her because she won't get the answer she really wants. There's no right answer & it's just a manipulative way to bait him into saying the wrong thing. Imagine if a dude asked his gf this question. Why do women do bs like this? Definitely leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I'll give the honest answer as a woman: We think the BFF or sister or whatever other woman is hotter than us. So we want our boyfriend/fiance/husband to tell us she isn't. It's internal insecurities that eventually lots of us grow out of.
So I don't actually think this is just a woman trait. When I was younger I was also pretty insecure. I grew up being told how talented and successful I was at things I did so when somebody came along and shattered that, I would lash out. Then I went into the navy, and if you are insecure on a submarine, people poke your insecurities until you learn to get over them. I am successful, and I do basically achieve everything I try to, but I don't get bothered by my failures anymore or feel weak when I run into someone who is better at a certain skill than I am. I know plenty of women like you who do grow out of it, including my wife, but I also know a lot of men who are dating or married to women who never had to and the relationships just look ridiculous and miserable to me.
Well the thing is the other woman may be more attractive but that’s not everything. That dude is with you at the end of the day, you’re the one who was picked. Attractiveness isn’t enough to make someone dateable or someone I and many others would be willing to have sex with.
It's in reference to the Holt character from Brooklyn nine-nine, he is a homosexual man (played by the brilliant, hilarious, sadly no longer with us Andre Braugher).
... and skin so soft you can imagine running the back of your fingers gently against it and marveling at the completely wrong expectation you had of how that fascinating, freckled skin actually feels
...
huh? Oh, nah... not my type at all but she's a nice girl
This is the only right answer.
Alternatively, “of course not, you’re the hot friend”
Now bare in mind, this friend of hers has almost certainly heard all about your performance in bed and in great detail, because apparently that’s something women do, and this friend will probably have had a say in your relationship starting in some capacity too, meaning they’d have to agree you’re not unfuckable, so the insecurity likely comes from something this “bestie” said which would indicate they find you attractive, so the gf might be trying to see if the feeling is mutual to gauge if you might cheat or something in the future.
Could also be that she’s just trying to start some shit.
I fucking hate when women share intimate details to their friends about their sex life with their partner. N of 1, but I've never had any male friends who would do that, but I have a lot of female friends who I know do it. It feels so damn disrespectful to me. I once called a friend out on it and told her as much, and she got so shitty and defensive about it. That defensiveness tells me you know it's not cool, but you're gonna keep doing it anyway, huh?
I sometimes think that the whole “men are pigs” trope exists because it’s just been projected en masse onto men by women. I don’t know any guy who talks about their sex encounters in such crass detail, especially about their current partner, no less. If they did, I wouldn’t associate with them, it’s cringy.
I saw a comment on this sub the other day, something like “women aren’t actually the more emotionally in-tune sex like they claim to be, they’re just more in-tune with *their* emotions - they don’t give a shit about any of yours (i.e. their boyfriend, spouse, etc.)” Kinda reinforced that thought lol
> I don’t know any guy who talks about their sex encounters in such crass detail, especially about their current partner, no less.
The only times I've ever encountered any guy talking about something happening during sex more specific than "we had sex" is when it's a (rare) conversation that specifically relates to it and it's an ex-partner/ONS who they don't even refer to by name and that the other guys will most likely never meet.
pretty much, this is actually also why i was so uncomfortable back in college around other women, they were so vocal about their sexual encounters and in great detail (in class mind you, to make it worse), tbf i didn't exactly grow up with many other women around me and mainly grew up around other boys so that could also be why i was extra astonished when i went to college and suddenly there were so many women and so many of them were very vocal about things I would have never even considered to talk about, especially out in the open.
Exactly! So sick of this shit. And another thing I've noticed is that men by and large seem to be more able to look at things from different perspectives, whereas most women I've encountered online and in person seem to assume that their perspective is the same one everybody else has. Hopefully that makes sense the way I wrote it.
Exactly!! I don't understand that with so many of he women I've met since going to college, it's like they simply cannot grasp that other people may have different backgrounds, opinions, things they want to do and don't want to do, it's insane.
Should probably not think that, you can read this thread alone and see pigs. There are always good and bad people and that’s definitely not just made up by one gender
Bruh this is so true. Like you brought this on yourself babe. Maybe don’t tell your little friends all about the dicking downs you’ve been receiving and you won’t get all insecure about them potentially wanting that too.
I get tired of that. A lot of these women don’t understand that if we wanted to we could have fucked whoever it was a long time ago but that didn’t happen. She got picked not her friend that’s what matters.
Also even if I find someone attractive I have something called self control
As a woman I'd never understand how people "sharing bed stories". When we share it's more about what gifts/places/activities are great to do as couples. At most it's suggestion of contraceptive methods (that pill give you migraine? why not use the less hormones ones etc.) Weird shit.
Cold take. Insecure people gonna insecure. If they're gonna think "My partner probably thinks that person is hotter than me" about anyone of relative attractiveness in the vicinity even though their partner chose and continues to choose them, that's their own insecurity.
But, what's wrong with thinking someone else is hotter? I think that's also a problem. Loving you means I think You're the most beautiful girl on the planet, not by physical judgement alone. By physical judgement, is it wrong to think someone else is 'hotter'? I mean, I think it's you just being honest to yourself. (Not saying you should tell her that though)
The question in your post that I'm seeing is "Is it wrong to be in a relationship but think that someone else is hotter?" No, of course not. There's probably millions of people that, on looks alone, you might choose over your significant other if given the option. But that's a fantastical impossibility. I would likely argue that it begins to become unhealthy if you start to dwell on physical attractiveness and every time you see someone you might have chosen over your significant other in that impossible fantasy think "Wow, that's another one I didn't choose."
Edit: changed "billions" to "millions" because okay yeah age is a thing
No it isn't. It's a good way to tell her you aren't playing those childish games. Nobody wins when you play these games. It's almost always her looking for a fight.
They always ask about someone who is objectively conventionally hot af too.
So yeah, when you get asked this question the best way to answer it is simple. Tell her you find her attractive and you aren't going to sit around and compare her to other people, it's not something that anyone should be doing. If you wanted to be with someone else, you would be. You picked her and are with her, therefore you find her attractive. Attractiveness is so much more than physical appearance.
I have met some amazingly beautiful women who were absolutely awful people. The personality of a picture of broccoli, general shitty behavior, etc. People I would never date in any capacity beyond a ONS. There is a reason they bounced between relationships when their "less attractive" friends found long term partners.
Me and my wife have a great relationship. This kind of question would not cause any damage to it but it's also the kind of question that would never come up. Having said that... One time we were at a party and someone brought a board game made for couples that was pretty shitty, it was basically questions to see if your relationship would "survive it". we were all couples and no one wanted to play and we didn't , but someone randomly pulled out a card and asked me, "come on you can answer these, they arent that bad, heres one...which one of your significant others friends is the hottest?" My wife smiled and looked at me, and says, "yeah which one?"
Now while I can't think of a single answer (honest or not) that would cause an argument between us, I still felt it was a stupid thing to answer. So without skipping a beat, I say, "Oh her Friend from work, Mike. Dudes got an ass that wont quit!" Everyone laughed and we moved on.
I've been in toxic relationships and never again, but just cause you're in a good one doesnt mean you should test it.
There's a wast difference in her telling you that about an ex if you didn't ask, and her asking you about her friend.
Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.
And if a woman starts telling me that her ex was better, she is totally free to go back to him, actually I'll help her pack.
I can neither confirm nor deny any feelings of attraction I feel towards any of your friends, sisters, female cousins or matriarchal figures in your family.
Surely this depends on the type of relationship you have?
* If she's the jealous, insecure type, answer "no" and start considering to cut this kind of toxicity from your life.
* If you have a good relationship with open communication and this is a sincere question, give an honest answer.
* If you have a casual, exploratory relationship and your girlfriend is into girls, answer "yes".
I find it easier to be honest when they ARE attractive... it's much more uncomfortable to me when their friend is kinda/very ugly, so I try to answer honestly but nicely, but then I get asked for brutal specifics because she doesn't necessarily agree 😅
My wife isn’t the type to be unreasonably jealous, so I’m pretty sure it’s not coming from a toxic place, and my answer is always truthful, and usually sounds like “yeah, I guess she’s pretty in her own way”, as my wife is honestly the most attractive in her group anyway.
My wife asked me that a few weeks ago, her bestie is in the process of a divorce and hasn't been having to much luck meeting other people. I was pretty honest, she is cute she's lost some weight and my wife has told me enough stories about there early 20’s that I know she at least was wild in bed at one point.
Thing is I know her best friend pretty well at this point and her personality is super unattractive to me so I just said she's cute but not for me.
Should they react adversely, just say what I always say;
“Babe, even some Buttholes are pretty, ya know? Anyway, guess where I’m taking you out to eat tonight?!”.
Hope this helps 🤙🏽
Turn it on her. Wildly. "Wait, do YOU find her attractive? Are you cheating on me with her? I mean, you knew her before you knew me and you spend a lot of time together. Do you think she's more attractive than me? Are you going to leave me for her? Why did you even ask me that? I can't believe you're leaving me for your best friend (but I guess I can, it makes sense.) I'm going to need some space to figure out how I feel about this."
Or just say "I don't, but if she was a worm I'd love her anyway"
No it's not. You just say no. Do not say compared to her. She'll ask you to compare her to somebody else. Then you open a can of worms. Jesus guys, you need to be careful with this shit.
Is her bestie attractive? If so, the answer is “yes”.
If your GF is baiting you into a fight or gets upset at your honest reply, it’s time to get a new GF. Nobody has time for immature BS from their partner.
The honest answer. If bestie is attractive - "yes, I find her attractive" If bestie is not attractive "No" If in between, "meh"
Let the chips fall where they may
It's not insane because it answers a question real quick about the mental state of your girlfriend. If you're worried about her reaction then you don't want her anyway.
An important point is that “attractive” can mean something different to a man than a woman. He might be thinking “she is pretty” and she might be thinking “he’s attracted to her and inclined to act on it.” Whole Mars Venus thing
Women would do well to remember: *words mean things*.
She asked "do you find my bestie attractive?"
She did not ask "do you want to fuck my bestie"
She did not ask "do you agree with me that my bestie is attractive"
She did not ask "do you like my bestie"
She asked one question and one question only: "do you find my bestie attractive". That's "do you think she's attractive". Nothing else.
Also there’s a difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone. Like both in high school and college I had plenty of female friends who were absolutely gorgeous, objectively. And my friend groups would comment on (not in a demeaning way but just acknowledging their attractiveness). But they did nothing for me in terms of wanting to date them. Nothing against them or their personalities.
In this instance I’d say well yes, I think she’s an attractive person, but I’m not even attracted to her in the slightest. And I hope you think your friend is a beautiful person… wouldn’t necessarily like people thinking I’m ugly, especially my friends.
Or something along those lines
Good policy. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
And remember: *words mean things.* We will answer the question you asked, not the one you thought you asked or wanted to ask but did not. We take the things you ask and say at face value.
He was trying to make you happy and avoid being honest with you. He was trying to read the tea leaves and tell you what he thought you wanted to hear, rather than what was really on his mind and heart.
Thankfully my wife is just like, fair minded and all, so if she asks me whether I find person x attractive, it’s actually fine to tell the truth. A lot of the time we check out the same girls
Answering honestly. If she turns it into a fight, yay you dodged the bullet. If she wants to play stupid games, she should be prepared to win stupid prices.
Yep that’s an insecurity-based question. If she were confident in your relationship it wouldn’t even come up. I would ask her about her feelings and what motivated her to ask.
One of the first things I say to a woman that I start talking to is to not ask a question if she wouldn't like one of the possible answers, and that can help to make her think to why she wants to ask in the first place.
After the inevitable whining about it, I just ask if she'd rather I lie, and after that the conversation is done.
(In that scenario, it's a great way to not answer the question too)
First you need to understand where she’s coming from. It could be anywhere from insecurity to jealousy to curiosity to fishing for a threesome.
The younger you are, the more likely the question will be rooted in insecurity, so handle with care.
Now I’ve never cheated on a partner, nor have I ever dumped a gf for someone else, so even when I was younger, honesty was my default.
Mature adults communicate in a compassionate, direct and honest manner. An emotionally mature woman will never engage in childish, manipulative games like this.
Ask her if she gets wet thinking of your buddy.
Honest answer. Then see how she handles it and look for the red flags. The "worst" that can happen is that she leaves me out of her own insecurity - which shows she was not worth the time in first place and just did me a huge favour.
I guess I’m lucky that we can be really honest about these type of things. We both enjoy commenting about people’s looks and styles so I’d just tell the truth.
As long I don’t let my tongue out like a thirsty dog I’ll be alright.
"I dunno, next to you I don't really pay attention"
I love this answer lol
“And what if she’s not next to me?”
Then ya, smoke show
Results may vary.
💀💀💀💀
Birds of a feather flock together. So yea I guess.
"I dunno, I don't really pay attention because I'm thinking of you"
I get this is the classic response, but why do women want to see if you care enough to lie to them.... Shouldn't they want honesty?
Nobody knows the mysterious ways of the women
Sir, if you find a woman that wants honesty, you need to call someone at a lab, because whatever that thing is, it doesn't occur in nature.
You should meet my wife. I met her 5 years ago, and after a ton of bad relationships, decided I would just be upfront with her and tell her how it is. This is the best relationship I have ever had, I take care of her, she spoils me. It was rough the first year though...
I'm in a similar situation with my wife, and very happy about it. Though I can honestly say my ability to be honest with her is limited to important subjects only. I wouldn't answer the prompt's question lol.
In this case, my wife is more attractive than her two best friends. But she will be the first to admit if there is a beautiful woman nearby when we are out. I don't really stare at people so she never gets insecure about it. In general though, I tell her if I don't like an outfit she is wearing and am not shy about setting my own expectations and standards. The standards thing was the biggest difference between this relationship and others. I didn't wait six months before telling her something bothered me , I said it the first time. Sometimes she will say that she doesn't care if I don't like something because she wants to wear it or do it, which is respectable, but at least she isn't deluded about my impression of it.
I can say in honesty my wife is beautiful to me. She'll never see it, but she is. But yeah, if something bothers me that she does, I don't usually bottle it up either, but she also doesn't wear anything I'm upset by, she's pretty modest.
For me it's less about the sexiness of her clothes and more about the level of class. A good example is when she tried to go out to a restaurant with me and she was basically wearing sweatpants and a shirt with holes in the sleeve, things like that. I wouldn't even consider dating someone who dresses like a street walker. She was not a very neat or together person when I first met her. She didn't put effort into things she did but expected to be treated like she did. I helped her learn to understand things like being responsible with money, presenting yourself the way you want to be seen rather than demanding people see you a certain way regardless of how you look and act.
You're alone on that one friend, I think I'm in your wife's position there lol. It's rare I do more than jeans and a t-shirt, though it's rare we do more than a nice meal to ourselves. I can definitely understand your position though.
Jeans and a T-shirt is fine, sweatpants for sushi, less fine lol. But I do understand what you mean. I have high expectations because I want a certain type of life. She also wanted that type of life, so she accepted the expectations and requirements that come with it, even if she pushed back at the time. She went from a failed musical theater student to marketing director at a museum and she has thanked me for helping her become the person that deserves that job. It's not like she didn't help me grow or this was all one direction, that wouldn't be a relationship, but what I learned and gained from her would be a separate conversation.
I'm in the same situation with my current gf. A lot of women don't like my honesty and 0-tolerance for bullshit questions like "would you love me if I was a worm". I'll just tell her, no I wouldn't love a worm. Now she calls me out if she senses I'm pandering to her. It is by far the best relationship I've ever had.
Honesty is a foundation of communication with my wife. If we see hot people, we both can appreciate.
Because women are not attracted to all men the same way men seem to be attracted to nearly all women.
I want honesty. but then again i'm the type of bitch that will already know the answer to the question, Mostly i don't have unattractive friends. Any woman that asks that question already knows you find her friend attractive and she just wants to hear you say it out loud maybe so she can have a reason to bring up whatever is bugging her about you and her friend like maybe she saw you gawking or eye fucking her or some shit. This isn't just random conversation or a random fact that she's just dying to know
For real. He should turn the question back on her & ask why she's even asking this question in the first place. If he says no it's like he's calling her friend ugly, if he says yes, then she'll think he's cheating on her. If he tries to take the neutral approach, she'll think he's lying to her because she won't get the answer she really wants. There's no right answer & it's just a manipulative way to bait him into saying the wrong thing. Imagine if a dude asked his gf this question. Why do women do bs like this? Definitely leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I'll give the honest answer as a woman: We think the BFF or sister or whatever other woman is hotter than us. So we want our boyfriend/fiance/husband to tell us she isn't. It's internal insecurities that eventually lots of us grow out of.
So I don't actually think this is just a woman trait. When I was younger I was also pretty insecure. I grew up being told how talented and successful I was at things I did so when somebody came along and shattered that, I would lash out. Then I went into the navy, and if you are insecure on a submarine, people poke your insecurities until you learn to get over them. I am successful, and I do basically achieve everything I try to, but I don't get bothered by my failures anymore or feel weak when I run into someone who is better at a certain skill than I am. I know plenty of women like you who do grow out of it, including my wife, but I also know a lot of men who are dating or married to women who never had to and the relationships just look ridiculous and miserable to me.
Well the thing is the other woman may be more attractive but that’s not everything. That dude is with you at the end of the day, you’re the one who was picked. Attractiveness isn’t enough to make someone dateable or someone I and many others would be willing to have sex with.
Who? Good lord no. You know I can't stand Redheads with a round ass and firm tits. Jesus woman, I feel lunch coming up...
"You know me. I see a pair of thick, weighty breasts, and all logic flies out the window." -Captain Raymond Holt
"She was such a strong, female women with nice, heavy breasts."
Totally 100% straight
I'm not so sure. I've been to a gay bar, and there was plenty of drag queens dressed up to have big tits. Gay men must love them too.
It's in reference to the Holt character from Brooklyn nine-nine, he is a homosexual man (played by the brilliant, hilarious, sadly no longer with us Andre Braugher).
Nothing is more intoxicating than the absence of a penis
Does anyone else get a gay vibe? No? Just me?
"Firm tits" is hilarious to me. A nice sturdy, firm pair of tits.
“Like bags of sand”
I Don’t Like Sand. It’s Coarse, and Rough, and Irritating — and It Gets Everywhere.
Well if firm boobies get everywhere you won’t see us complainin
r/suddenlystarwars
“Stop trying to make me have a threesome with *all* your friends”
"Succulent"
I hate myself for liking this descriptor. Although we're talking about tits, not a Chinese meal.
At least they know their Judo well
[удалено]
This is pornography manifest
Very durable. Excellent strength to weight ratio.
Since I used the plural of tit, I felt adding "pair" was redundant.
Exactly, like a pair of shoe.
A flock of pigeon.
Ok, but what if the tits are from separate pairs? How are we supposed to know?
Firm tits ?? lol it’s all push-up padded bras
'Sturdy' 💀
>"Firm tits" is hilarious to me. A nice sturdy, firm pair of tits. Firmy Daniels, is always President's choice.
Heavy breasts.
“How do you know they’re firm,” she asks as she crosses her arms and looks at you angrily.
“Her boobs don’t squish like yours when she crosses her arms”
And that your Honor, is when she hit me.
“I saw a bullet bounce off of them” 😂
goddamnit stop describing my favorite traits!
That is disgusting sir, you should be ashamed of yourself. They can't help that they have to walk around like that. /s
... and skin so soft you can imagine running the back of your fingers gently against it and marveling at the completely wrong expectation you had of how that fascinating, freckled skin actually feels ... huh? Oh, nah... not my type at all but she's a nice girl
If a girl ever pulled that on me I would just tell her we’re not doing that lmao
This is the only right answer. Alternatively, “of course not, you’re the hot friend” Now bare in mind, this friend of hers has almost certainly heard all about your performance in bed and in great detail, because apparently that’s something women do, and this friend will probably have had a say in your relationship starting in some capacity too, meaning they’d have to agree you’re not unfuckable, so the insecurity likely comes from something this “bestie” said which would indicate they find you attractive, so the gf might be trying to see if the feeling is mutual to gauge if you might cheat or something in the future. Could also be that she’s just trying to start some shit.
I fucking hate when women share intimate details to their friends about their sex life with their partner. N of 1, but I've never had any male friends who would do that, but I have a lot of female friends who I know do it. It feels so damn disrespectful to me. I once called a friend out on it and told her as much, and she got so shitty and defensive about it. That defensiveness tells me you know it's not cool, but you're gonna keep doing it anyway, huh?
I sometimes think that the whole “men are pigs” trope exists because it’s just been projected en masse onto men by women. I don’t know any guy who talks about their sex encounters in such crass detail, especially about their current partner, no less. If they did, I wouldn’t associate with them, it’s cringy. I saw a comment on this sub the other day, something like “women aren’t actually the more emotionally in-tune sex like they claim to be, they’re just more in-tune with *their* emotions - they don’t give a shit about any of yours (i.e. their boyfriend, spouse, etc.)” Kinda reinforced that thought lol
> I don’t know any guy who talks about their sex encounters in such crass detail, especially about their current partner, no less. The only times I've ever encountered any guy talking about something happening during sex more specific than "we had sex" is when it's a (rare) conversation that specifically relates to it and it's an ex-partner/ONS who they don't even refer to by name and that the other guys will most likely never meet.
"That girl you were trying to bang..." "Yeah?" "You bang her?" "Yeah." "How was it?" "Pretty good." "Nice."
pretty much, this is actually also why i was so uncomfortable back in college around other women, they were so vocal about their sexual encounters and in great detail (in class mind you, to make it worse), tbf i didn't exactly grow up with many other women around me and mainly grew up around other boys so that could also be why i was extra astonished when i went to college and suddenly there were so many women and so many of them were very vocal about things I would have never even considered to talk about, especially out in the open.
Exactly! So sick of this shit. And another thing I've noticed is that men by and large seem to be more able to look at things from different perspectives, whereas most women I've encountered online and in person seem to assume that their perspective is the same one everybody else has. Hopefully that makes sense the way I wrote it.
Exactly!! I don't understand that with so many of he women I've met since going to college, it's like they simply cannot grasp that other people may have different backgrounds, opinions, things they want to do and don't want to do, it's insane.
Should probably not think that, you can read this thread alone and see pigs. There are always good and bad people and that’s definitely not just made up by one gender
Bruh this is so true. Like you brought this on yourself babe. Maybe don’t tell your little friends all about the dicking downs you’ve been receiving and you won’t get all insecure about them potentially wanting that too.
I get tired of that. A lot of these women don’t understand that if we wanted to we could have fucked whoever it was a long time ago but that didn’t happen. She got picked not her friend that’s what matters. Also even if I find someone attractive I have something called self control
As a woman I'd never understand how people "sharing bed stories". When we share it's more about what gifts/places/activities are great to do as couples. At most it's suggestion of contraceptive methods (that pill give you migraine? why not use the less hormones ones etc.) Weird shit.
This is a good way to make her think that you think her friend is hotter.
“You’re not getting a threesome so stop asking”
Cold take. Insecure people gonna insecure. If they're gonna think "My partner probably thinks that person is hotter than me" about anyone of relative attractiveness in the vicinity even though their partner chose and continues to choose them, that's their own insecurity.
🫡
I've always said there's nothing hotter about a person than insecurity. So sexy....
This. Any of those “would you love me if I was a worm?” Or “do you think so and so is hot?” Is just a nonstarter. I’m not going to answer that shit.
But, what's wrong with thinking someone else is hotter? I think that's also a problem. Loving you means I think You're the most beautiful girl on the planet, not by physical judgement alone. By physical judgement, is it wrong to think someone else is 'hotter'? I mean, I think it's you just being honest to yourself. (Not saying you should tell her that though)
The question in your post that I'm seeing is "Is it wrong to be in a relationship but think that someone else is hotter?" No, of course not. There's probably millions of people that, on looks alone, you might choose over your significant other if given the option. But that's a fantastical impossibility. I would likely argue that it begins to become unhealthy if you start to dwell on physical attractiveness and every time you see someone you might have chosen over your significant other in that impossible fantasy think "Wow, that's another one I didn't choose." Edit: changed "billions" to "millions" because okay yeah age is a thing
Firstly, lmao to your edit. Yeah you're 100% right
No it isn't. It's a good way to tell her you aren't playing those childish games. Nobody wins when you play these games. It's almost always her looking for a fight. They always ask about someone who is objectively conventionally hot af too. So yeah, when you get asked this question the best way to answer it is simple. Tell her you find her attractive and you aren't going to sit around and compare her to other people, it's not something that anyone should be doing. If you wanted to be with someone else, you would be. You picked her and are with her, therefore you find her attractive. Attractiveness is so much more than physical appearance. I have met some amazingly beautiful women who were absolutely awful people. The personality of a picture of broccoli, general shitty behavior, etc. People I would never date in any capacity beyond a ONS. There is a reason they bounced between relationships when their "less attractive" friends found long term partners.
It's just such an unfair question, you're basically forced to lie lol
It’s a question people ask to start a fight because whatever the answer is they will use it against you, there is no right answer to this.
Me and my wife have a great relationship. This kind of question would not cause any damage to it but it's also the kind of question that would never come up. Having said that... One time we were at a party and someone brought a board game made for couples that was pretty shitty, it was basically questions to see if your relationship would "survive it". we were all couples and no one wanted to play and we didn't , but someone randomly pulled out a card and asked me, "come on you can answer these, they arent that bad, heres one...which one of your significant others friends is the hottest?" My wife smiled and looked at me, and says, "yeah which one?" Now while I can't think of a single answer (honest or not) that would cause an argument between us, I still felt it was a stupid thing to answer. So without skipping a beat, I say, "Oh her Friend from work, Mike. Dudes got an ass that wont quit!" Everyone laughed and we moved on. I've been in toxic relationships and never again, but just cause you're in a good one doesnt mean you should test it.
*which of your significant other’s friends is the hottest
anyone playing these stupid games isn't worth being with
Yeah, you don't want to do that if you want to stay with her. Bad move. Like she tells you: "My last BF had a bigger........".
There's a wast difference in her telling you that about an ex if you didn't ask, and her asking you about her friend. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to. And if a woman starts telling me that her ex was better, she is totally free to go back to him, actually I'll help her pack.
...aaaand... Go get back with him then. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Heart
An enlarged heart, that's what killed him.... Sniff
I can neither confirm nor deny any feelings of attraction I feel towards any of your friends, sisters, female cousins or matriarchal figures in your family.
When my ex did this, I just said, "Oh, is this what we're doing tonight? Fighting? I'll just skip to the end and sleep on the couch."
Fuck that! Is she is uncomfortable sleeping next to me then she can use the couch.
That's actually a good answer too. "Let's not go there."
Yeh I would answer similarly, "I am not playing this game with you"
Don’t play games if you’re not ok with losing!
What's wrong with just a simple no? Just say, nothing comes close to you.
Cuz i don’t want her to think it’s okay to ask similar questions again
Tell her you already fucked her bestie last year and you stopped because her personality was shit.
Damn straight. Do not let your gf manipulate you. Turn that manipulation on its head.
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I like to think the lower-case A was phonetic and your laugh dips a little toward the end.
Aha ha
“Speaking of head, you’re way better I wouldn’t even worry.”
Don't fall for them shit tests.
Only reasonable response to such nonsense of hers.
She was a lousy lay
Agree & amplify
“Why? Did she ask about me?? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
"I see you want to start a fight. In this case, let's fight about something that's worth fighting over... ...Star Wars."
2nd best answer
Only second? How about...pineapple on pizza?
Vade retro
You said start a fight, not a war
A fight over a war. Which is better than a war over a fight.
Surely this depends on the type of relationship you have? * If she's the jealous, insecure type, answer "no" and start considering to cut this kind of toxicity from your life. * If you have a good relationship with open communication and this is a sincere question, give an honest answer. * If you have a casual, exploratory relationship and your girlfriend is into girls, answer "yes".
I find it easier to be honest when they ARE attractive... it's much more uncomfortable to me when their friend is kinda/very ugly, so I try to answer honestly but nicely, but then I get asked for brutal specifics because she doesn't necessarily agree 😅
first sane comment so far...
Best answer here
My wife isn’t the type to be unreasonably jealous, so I’m pretty sure it’s not coming from a toxic place, and my answer is always truthful, and usually sounds like “yeah, I guess she’s pretty in her own way”, as my wife is honestly the most attractive in her group anyway.
“Why would you ask me that?” Then watch her pretend she’s not just trying to start shit.
This is the correct answer, and I didn't know this answer existed.
Smegg head!
Tell her “babe, you are prettier, but she has the cuter nipples.”
And way tighter pussy
Nah, she’s just slightly too tight for my liking, gives good head though.
She's not that guy's ex wife
My wife asked me that a few weeks ago, her bestie is in the process of a divorce and hasn't been having to much luck meeting other people. I was pretty honest, she is cute she's lost some weight and my wife has told me enough stories about there early 20’s that I know she at least was wild in bed at one point. Thing is I know her best friend pretty well at this point and her personality is super unattractive to me so I just said she's cute but not for me.
Say “Sure she is pretty, but I don’t find her *Attractive*”
Oh, sweet sweet summer child. All she’ll hear is “sure”
“Sure… is pretty.” It’s over
Should they react adversely, just say what I always say; “Babe, even some Buttholes are pretty, ya know? Anyway, guess where I’m taking you out to eat tonight?!”. Hope this helps 🤙🏽
Turn it on her. Wildly. "Wait, do YOU find her attractive? Are you cheating on me with her? I mean, you knew her before you knew me and you spend a lot of time together. Do you think she's more attractive than me? Are you going to leave me for her? Why did you even ask me that? I can't believe you're leaving me for your best friend (but I guess I can, it makes sense.) I'm going to need some space to figure out how I feel about this." Or just say "I don't, but if she was a worm I'd love her anyway"
😂😂😂😅
Its a trap!
Trap confirmed. Deploy evasion technique
Well yeah. Hot girls always hang out together.
„So you would like to fuck her? 🙂”
"why, did she say something?"
If you want to and she’s down for it, yeah, let’s go.
„Ok, have fun you two 🙂”
im not mad 🙂
"Oh, can't believe I missed you being actually insane. Thanks for showing me, best of luck!"
„My mother was right about you 🤬”
"Ah, more evidence. Take care!"
that would be my answer as well
"She's ok, but she's not you." And then never ever be alone with the bestie. Women don't ask questions like this for no reason.
I’d ask if there’s something she wants to talk about
Oh no you're a lesbian and you're going to leave me for her? You're way out of her league don't leave me for her.
Honestly. She asked. Stop playing games.
Yep. If you didn't want to know the honest answer then don't ask.
compared to you, no
so if you didnt compare her to me you would think shes hot ?
How could I not compare her beauty to the definition of it
Oooh this guy is good
Now that I have found the standard(you) every woman has to be compared to the best, you
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No it's not. You just say no. Do not say compared to her. She'll ask you to compare her to somebody else. Then you open a can of worms. Jesus guys, you need to be careful with this shit.
Is her bestie attractive? If so, the answer is “yes”. If your GF is baiting you into a fight or gets upset at your honest reply, it’s time to get a new GF. Nobody has time for immature BS from their partner.
The honest answer. If bestie is attractive - "yes, I find her attractive" If bestie is not attractive "No" If in between, "meh" Let the chips fall where they may
You are saying basically we answer her
Thats insane
It's not insane because it answers a question real quick about the mental state of your girlfriend. If you're worried about her reaction then you don't want her anyway.
But honest. If she asked a question, she expects an answer. There is no reason to handle an adult with child gloves.
"i thought we wanted complete honesty in this relationship?"
An important point is that “attractive” can mean something different to a man than a woman. He might be thinking “she is pretty” and she might be thinking “he’s attracted to her and inclined to act on it.” Whole Mars Venus thing
Women would do well to remember: *words mean things*. She asked "do you find my bestie attractive?" She did not ask "do you want to fuck my bestie" She did not ask "do you agree with me that my bestie is attractive" She did not ask "do you like my bestie" She asked one question and one question only: "do you find my bestie attractive". That's "do you think she's attractive". Nothing else.
And herein lies the difference in communication styles between genders. Literal vs implied.
Also there’s a difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone. Like both in high school and college I had plenty of female friends who were absolutely gorgeous, objectively. And my friend groups would comment on (not in a demeaning way but just acknowledging their attractiveness). But they did nothing for me in terms of wanting to date them. Nothing against them or their personalities. In this instance I’d say well yes, I think she’s an attractive person, but I’m not even attracted to her in the slightest. And I hope you think your friend is a beautiful person… wouldn’t necessarily like people thinking I’m ugly, especially my friends. Or something along those lines
Agree. I don't ask questions I don't answers to. If I ask my bf this, I'm generally curious
Good policy. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question. And remember: *words mean things.* We will answer the question you asked, not the one you thought you asked or wanted to ask but did not. We take the things you ask and say at face value.
One of my biggest gripes with my ex. I would ask a simple question and he would answer the question he thought I was asking
He was trying to make you happy and avoid being honest with you. He was trying to read the tea leaves and tell you what he thought you wanted to hear, rather than what was really on his mind and heart.
Well. Ex for a reason. Honesty makes me happy lol
First off, I would tell her never to say bestie around me again.
Thankfully my wife is just like, fair minded and all, so if she asks me whether I find person x attractive, it’s actually fine to tell the truth. A lot of the time we check out the same girls
This is such kids stuff to worry about. My girl and I are the same way.
Answering honestly. If she turns it into a fight, yay you dodged the bullet. If she wants to play stupid games, she should be prepared to win stupid prices.
'While I never thought you would want a threesome, no that is not one I think we should pursue'
Use a different word. I'd call people bonny if I want to avoid calling them a rocket. "Awhh she's bonny but not for me".
Yep that’s an insecurity-based question. If she were confident in your relationship it wouldn’t even come up. I would ask her about her feelings and what motivated her to ask.
„She is not my type, honey. You are”
"She'd have to be at least half as fat as you for me to even consider it"
One of the first things I say to a woman that I start talking to is to not ask a question if she wouldn't like one of the possible answers, and that can help to make her think to why she wants to ask in the first place. After the inevitable whining about it, I just ask if she'd rather I lie, and after that the conversation is done. (In that scenario, it's a great way to not answer the question too)
She's not HALF as hot as my sister
Why?
I'm just honest. I don't date somebody who would use it as a test.
"No. I don't."
First you need to understand where she’s coming from. It could be anywhere from insecurity to jealousy to curiosity to fishing for a threesome. The younger you are, the more likely the question will be rooted in insecurity, so handle with care. Now I’ve never cheated on a partner, nor have I ever dumped a gf for someone else, so even when I was younger, honesty was my default.
Mature adults communicate in a compassionate, direct and honest manner. An emotionally mature woman will never engage in childish, manipulative games like this. Ask her if she gets wet thinking of your buddy.
Honest answer. Then see how she handles it and look for the red flags. The "worst" that can happen is that she leaves me out of her own insecurity - which shows she was not worth the time in first place and just did me a huge favour.
“Is she pretty? Yes. Is she prettier than you? No.”
Is she down for a 3 some?
In your best Admiral Ackbar voice, yell “It’s a trap!” and dive out the nearest window.
I guess I’m lucky that we can be really honest about these type of things. We both enjoy commenting about people’s looks and styles so I’d just tell the truth. As long I don’t let my tongue out like a thirsty dog I’ll be alright.
“I only play games on my Xbox.”