You guys are talking like OP didn't say its "fuck you money"
I'm buying a lambo to beat my meat in while I drive to get an accountant and a lawyer to start figuring out what my best options are for investments and then I'm beating my meat again in both of their customer bathrooms because "fuck you" thats why... I'm also asking for complimentary water because the dehydration from all the pork tenderizing.
Back in the day, PNC prevented me from sticking my dick in crazy, honestly.
Like, yeah she had a glorious ass and big beautiful fake boobs and was tatted up but did you hear she went into a rage and viciously kicked out her mother a week before Thanksgiving?
Tale as old as time, the plight of man, scourge of good and noble people. There was a philosopher (i don’t recall his name right now) that coined it as the devils whisper back in the 1800s
Boring answer here. Pay off all my debts and fix everything needed. Then retire early, live off the money with majority of it being in some kind of safe investment.
Yup. Make absolutely certain that I am set for life, and only after that is certain, retire to the new life.
I would look forward to my new title of "*international man of leisure"*, but not burning the bridges until I know that future is completely secure. And I want professionals to help me know where that line is.
It’s definitely true for some people. My wife being one of them. She gets bored even without the unlimited money and she likes working. But I enjoy being away from people and I don’t get bothered by doing the same things over and over. My longest test of this was about a year when I was on disability. Covid lockdown also was heaven for me. I game a lot and have recently gotten more into cooking and working out. I feel like I always had something to do or focus on.
I would also have a lot of other interests/hobbies/skills I would want to get into and develop. Drawing, digital art, writing, carpentry, learn musical instruments like drums, violin, guitar, etc. I would have a lot of freedom to explore those. I already literally have all the items/tools/materials of what I mentioned. Just not the time or energy sometimes.
The main childhood dreams would be being able to create amazing more traditional art pieces and writing a well loved novel series.
I'm much like you and would relish spending my life doing nothing but my hobbies, and being able to pursue creative dreams without the pressure of needing them to be financially viable in order to pay for a roof over my head.
Fuck you money just means you're rich to the point you can spend it frivolously, it's not a specific amount. $100m in the bank is fuck you money but you can absolutely squander that, ask most lottery winners
I think how much money is Fuck You money depends on who you're saying Fuck You too.
Telling your local Dairy Queen manager fuck you takes a lot less money than telling Jeff Bezos fuck you.
Having a large enough garden and just being able to go outside and pick some vegetables without having to visit a supermarket must be an amazing feeling. That is indeed 'fuck you' money.
Learning the garden part on my 1/3 acre lot right now lol. That way when I get land, I'm not new at it. You can grow around 50% of your food on a typical suburb lot lol.
Yup. My friend asked what I would get if I was gonna get some big, material item. I said I guess a nice computer, but it made me realize money wouldn’t help at all with a big chunk of my problems.
The first thing that came to my mind. Two very beautiful women at the same time. Preferably goth or with goth vibes. Then hopefully all three of us can become a beautiful throuple. Yes, that's all this man wants.
Set up a small game dev studio and hire 7-20 people and just create things for the rest of my life. also grab a moderate house that has an office room in it.
My friend has been sleeping with a sleazy comedian who’s a decade older and part of a two-person sketch group and treats her like crap. I would hire 100 people to go to their next show and LMAO at everything his partner says and be dead silent at everything he says
I’d go to work after renting a New Orleans Marching Band and parade float. In the distance you would hear some jazzy beats coming down the road. As the music gets closer and louder I tell my co worker “my ride is here”. I then get on the float that’s decorated in flowers on the side with the words “So long suckers! I quit” and we pull off into the sunset as I shoot off one of those guns that spits out stacks of 100 dollar bills.
I'd support my family who had to move to tijuana b/c money issues, pay for rehab for my dad.
Then I'd pay for all the orthodontic stuff I haven't been able to get. Mouth surgery, braces, night guard.
There's this cool pocket knife I've been looking at. It's about $110 bucks. It's the Bestech Swordfish with jade handle and magnacut blade. Can't afford rn lol.
Probably buy some nice drums and a small building or nice shed to play them in.
Then, b/c I have a kidney disease and severe diet restrictions, I'd hire a personal chef to make yummy food even given my severe restrictions.
Personal skatepark would be pretty sick
Probably make some smart investments and donate most of it. At least I'd like to think I'd be that generous and not tight-fisted with my money.
Nothing much to be honest with you. Try to see how much I can give away to family/friends/charity without losing "FU" status then maybe travel a bit more comfortably (i.e. springing for first/business class and getting a larger hotel room hear and there). Other than than, things will most likely remain the same.
Move into a cabin in the woods in Alaska, become a bartender in a small town, get to know the locals, get a cat, and buy enough guns to make my own army of weaponized raccoons
1. Quit my job effective immediately. Fuck your 2 weeks notice
2. Pay off my house, debts, etc.
3. Make sure the "fuck you money" can last me my entire life. Consult a lawyer/CPA. Probably put some in an HYSA or individual brokerage--there needs to be a certified way to have income coming in monthly.
4. Start planning trips, vacations, exploring new hobbies
5. Whatever leftover I can afford goes into frivolous things.
Draw up some plans with an engineer and architect and build a dream house with underground parking and a car lift for an entrance. Lots of slides and secret rooms too because I'm ultimately just a big kid.
Buy several shit cars and learn how to build them into not so shit cars.
Just have fun with it really
1. Give a chunk to my dad who’s homeless to live off of
2. Make sure rent is paid for my siblings
3. Live in another country for a month after notifying my job for leave
4. Come back and resume life as before and invest the rest
I’d build a lazy river around my property with a drawbridge. This would accomplish two things, I get to just float away some afternoons and also keep people the fuck away from me.
If the river is the divider between you and said people, I’m not sure it would accomplish one of those things. They could just wait for you to circle around and talk to you then. Or walk along the bank while you floated. Personally I’d bring a golf cart and drive it next to you, but a British one so the steering wheel is on the right side so someone else could drive while I drank a mocktail and discussed investment opportunities with you.
I would start several group homes for people with mental disabilities in my area. Like high quality mansions and not institutions with fluorescent lights. Actual Homes.
Fully staffed with well paid workers.
I’ve been told I have fuck you money but I don’t believe I do.
So at the moment I’m not working, full time caring for my 2 young kids and will be back at work when youngest reaches proper school age.
However the more fun answer would be I would pay someone to mind my children so I could have a nice holiday, and do lots of bowling when I got home. I’d ideally pay for a home chef, cleaner and gardener and hire a nanny. If I had lots of fuck you money, I’d move to a properly with a nice sized garden.
Pay off all my bills. Buy a nice boat large enough to sail the world’s oceans and see how healthy a lobster, shrimp, king crab wuagu beef and salad diet is.
If I knew that, I'd know what I want to do with my life. Well, in terms of a job, at least. I'd probably travel, make sure family is set up for life, and invest so that my money continues to make money. Then I'd probably buy a nice lot of land and live off of it. I don't want to be a farmer in terms of industrial terms, but I'd like to do it enough to provide for myself and any family I have. I'd probably also start some kind of shelters, etc.
My wife and I have been married for ten years, we never had a honeymoon though. I’d take her on a honeymoon and pay someone like $5k to watch the kids for a week or so.
I've got this long running idea that I call "dignity farms."
Basically it's a large farm that takes in the homeless, gives them jobs working the farm, which provides food for them. Extra food is sold to stores to fund the program and put money in their pockets.
Having on-site medical and mental health as well as career counseling/development with financial planning/etc.
So many folks end up destitute for reasons beyond their control. A safety system that prevents folks from falling thru the cracks.
Ofc it'd need hooks to the social services departments for those who are incapable of self care. There'd need to be some referral out system for people that are beyond the help of the farm.
But, give folks what they need to thrive and you'll see folks thrive.
And damnit, if my government can't do it, I would. The only thing holding me back is a stupid amount of money.
Pay off all debts, retire early, set up a wealth generating portfolio that will allow me to live the life I want and never have to be slave to a 9-5 again. Buy lots of land, start a big ass garden. Spend all my time growing things, and feeding my friends and family.
Work to ensure that onlookers noticed no difference in my financial status and work in the shadows to promote public transport, eliminate nationalists and destroy religions political influence.
But I might be describing *fuck y’all money*.
Basically, after putting a majority of it into my brokerage accounts, live a “I won’t tell anyone I have ‘fuck you’ money, but the signs will be there” kind of life.
As much as I would like to list out a bunch of rational and mature things, the truth is I'd probably OD somewhere in Mexico with at least two hookers close by.
Quit my job. Get a part-time job. Bullshit a "trust" that pays me to figure out other ways to keep the government from my money. Get fired from said part-time job, anonymously buy a lake. Buy ducks. Profit. Next, invest in bull semen. Profit. Slow fund a Para military organization that uses a charity as front for operations in which I plant operatives in the government. Then operatives as representatives. Then operatives as law enforcement. Then, start infiltrating the ranks of the armed forces. Etc. That's phase 1. I figure playing the fool while the seeds I've planted do the work while I pull the strings. And buy a lambo.
Call my fiancé and tell her to quit her job that she hates. Tell her that we’re going to have the wedding of our dreams and don’t have to worry about how expensive it is. Drastically reconsider our honeymoon plans.
I would buy an animal sanctuary and build an open plan zoo attached to it so I could have endangered animals live there. I’d also buy every fucking cigar on earth
I have thought about this a LOT.
If I suddenly had $100M in the bank, I would write letters to all the friends who abandoned me 20 years ago when my life was in crisis, and I needed their support the most:
Dear ——,
I have recently been lucky enough to receive a financial windfall of nearly $100M, a fortune beyond what I’ve ever imagined I might ever have. I’ve spent some time thinking back on the friendship we shared, and how special and important you were to me. I know we’re no longer close, but in light of my good fortune, I am enclosing a check for $500 as a small token of appreciation for the friendship we once shared. I hope you spend it wisely and in good health.
Best regards, etc. etc.
THAT is “fuck you” money.
Quit my job, call my girl friend so she could quit her job and than find the best medical intervention for her messed up spine. Then buy a rally fighter and have a fully decked out custom home built far away from everyone.
As a single dad who order out way to often the first thing I would do is hire a chef. I don’t enjoy cooking, I’m not good at it , my kids are picky eaters, and honestly I suppose I might be the same. I don’t like any part of it. Making a menu, shopping, cooking, cleaning. All trash. Someone please help.
Pay off my debt, pay of my parents/cousins/best friends debt. We are all coming up together.
Get an accountant/tax advisor, a lawyer, a nutritionist, and a personal trainer for me and my immediate family.
Go to all the doctor visit I can’t afford now because of how messed up the American healthcare system is.
Create a fund for kids in my small hometown to go to college if they get above a 3.75 gpa.
Create a cancer foundation or be a major donor to one of the many, as I’ve lost family members to it and almost my mother.
Invest a big chunk in reforestation and start my own global renewable energy generation company as that is the industry I work in.
Buy a few houses around the world focusing on the US, Mexico, Colombia, and Spain.
Spend most of my days working a similar job to what I do but with a much bigger impact, workout 6 days a week, and salsa dance 3-4 days a week.
Pretty much my life now but bigger impact and in more countries.
Beat my meat. Just to make sure i make a rational decision afterwards.
I’m gonna buy a lambo! *jack off* I am going to get an accountant and a lawyer and start figuring out what my best options are for investments
You guys are talking like OP didn't say its "fuck you money" I'm buying a lambo to beat my meat in while I drive to get an accountant and a lawyer to start figuring out what my best options are for investments and then I'm beating my meat again in both of their customer bathrooms because "fuck you" thats why... I'm also asking for complimentary water because the dehydration from all the pork tenderizing.
Honestly very fair
I would just find an accountant to fuck in my Lambo
"What's the point if having 'fuck you' money if you don't say 'fuck you' every once in a while?" -Bobby Axelrod
Hear me out! Somehow you have to convince the accountant and the lawyer to jack off, so they can make a proper decision too.
Lol
And then I’m going to buy a Lambo
Post Nut Clarity (PNC) is real lmao
That's why I chose PNC Bank
This made me chuckle very hard
*Cuckle
Funny horny?
Nah fr 😂
This needs to be a commercial.
Such a good comment
"If you're not in post-nut clarity, then you're in pre-nut delusion"
Which verifies the existence of Pre Nut Confusion
Back in the day, PNC prevented me from sticking my dick in crazy, honestly. Like, yeah she had a glorious ass and big beautiful fake boobs and was tatted up but did you hear she went into a rage and viciously kicked out her mother a week before Thanksgiving?
Tale as old as time, the plight of man, scourge of good and noble people. There was a philosopher (i don’t recall his name right now) that coined it as the devils whisper back in the 1800s
Get fuck you money then go fuck yourself? Good choice.
You know, that’s a legitimately good idea.
I thought it was kinda dumb, but then I jacked it and it really made sense.
100% best answer. Nothing clears the mind and tubes like this.
real haha
Lol i was thinking stupid things til i read your message, … and then i had clarity in my thinking 😂
Will you be my life coach?
Post nut clarity
"Pre nut confusion and post nut clarity imply mid nut learning." -some guy
Quit my job. Make plans to spend all of this coming winter skiing.
why wait for winter, just go someplace that has snow today
Go to Australia in July, stay in the US in December, and you can have both Christmas’s in the winter.
Nah, if you’re traveling down here for snow you’re going to New Zealand
With fuck you money neversummer can be a reality
Yes. Noosa/Kerikeri. And maybe come back north for summer!
Funny. I'd quit my job and get far away from anywhere that gets cold.
Instead you spend it all on skiiing before winter comes
So do you mean sitting in the middle between to dudes or cocaine? Or both?
Boring answer here. Pay off all my debts and fix everything needed. Then retire early, live off the money with majority of it being in some kind of safe investment.
Don't forget to call your CPA and a tax lawyer. Boring answers are the best answers. I think I'd buy a small boat and go fishing.
These are the first things to do. Tax lawyer, CPA, trust, then pay off debts for me and my family. Roll with the rest
Also, tell nobody.
Not a soul
Can I tell my wife?
Not even yourself
Can I come fishing with you? I’ll bring the beer.
Hell yeah! I'll bring the grill.
Can I come too? I'll bring bait!! And sandwiches!!
Get rid of debt, invest, buy a small boat, fishing gear, small cabin on some land, buy a couple tree stands. Then I'm set lol
Yup. Make absolutely certain that I am set for life, and only after that is certain, retire to the new life. I would look forward to my new title of "*international man of leisure"*, but not burning the bridges until I know that future is completely secure. And I want professionals to help me know where that line is.
Same except also build a massive theater room and buy a shit ton of 4k discs
That actually sounds pretty exciting! :)
Not sure how old you are, but for most people retiring would be a bad call. Boredom and unlimited funds are a bad combo.
It’s definitely true for some people. My wife being one of them. She gets bored even without the unlimited money and she likes working. But I enjoy being away from people and I don’t get bothered by doing the same things over and over. My longest test of this was about a year when I was on disability. Covid lockdown also was heaven for me. I game a lot and have recently gotten more into cooking and working out. I feel like I always had something to do or focus on. I would also have a lot of other interests/hobbies/skills I would want to get into and develop. Drawing, digital art, writing, carpentry, learn musical instruments like drums, violin, guitar, etc. I would have a lot of freedom to explore those. I already literally have all the items/tools/materials of what I mentioned. Just not the time or energy sometimes. The main childhood dreams would be being able to create amazing more traditional art pieces and writing a well loved novel series.
I'm much like you and would relish spending my life doing nothing but my hobbies, and being able to pursue creative dreams without the pressure of needing them to be financially viable in order to pay for a roof over my head.
quit my job proceed to travel, mostly along the warm weather coasts to find a place to reside pay off my parents/best friends debts play video games.
Did we just become best friends
I feel like I had known this guy for a long time
Do you wanna go do karate in the garage!?
Buy an island and build a Bond villain hideout there.
Is that you Jeff??
Nah, it's undercover zuck, get him!
I already own a pretty cool piece of shoreline, i'd just buy each of my neighbors out and then make my bond villain hide out.
Install the spinny swivel chair first, get a cat 2nd that way you can spin and pet the cat for a dramatic entrance
Call my wife and tell her to quit her job that's making her miserable.
that is a fuckin decent move. i commend you
Invest a ton to make sure that fuck you money STAYS fuck you money
I think fuck you money means billions, so unless you're like "8 billion on red" you're good
Fuck you money just means you're rich to the point you can spend it frivolously, it's not a specific amount. $100m in the bank is fuck you money but you can absolutely squander that, ask most lottery winners
I think how much money is Fuck You money depends on who you're saying Fuck You too. Telling your local Dairy Queen manager fuck you takes a lot less money than telling Jeff Bezos fuck you.
I would fuck you OP.
I too would fuck OP
+1...we can do a groupie or train✌️✌️✌️
I would want to bang all of you. We can be a fun "fuck you money" group that enthusiastically bangs each other.
Everyone, back in the pile!
So just like normal rich people then?
With all the money flying everywhere 😏
I demand there to be butlers walking around with plates of pizza rolls and hard liquor.
OP is going to regret asking, lol
Or a Reddit bukkake
I’m here for the gangbang.
I would fuck OP and all the fucks that fucked OP
Who's ready for fuck fest 2024
Dirty Mike and the Boys.
Not me, but go ahead and shove it in anyway!
Buy a house
My answer as well , buy a plot of land with a decent house and make it a fortress with my own garden and make everything self sustainable
Having a large enough garden and just being able to go outside and pick some vegetables without having to visit a supermarket must be an amazing feeling. That is indeed 'fuck you' money.
safe sugar marble concerned rich engine hungry judicious thumb sharp *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Indoor hydroponic / aeroponic farming, automate the vast majority of the work. Already being done and these facilities are incredibly cool to see
Learning the garden part on my 1/3 acre lot right now lol. That way when I get land, I'm not new at it. You can grow around 50% of your food on a typical suburb lot lol.
Help a bunch of people I know to pay their debts or buy houses.
Lay in bed depressed
That's the spirit!
Fuck me money
Depression is a luxury afterall, can't be depressed if you got bills to pay
Fucking watch me
Yup. My friend asked what I would get if I was gonna get some big, material item. I said I guess a nice computer, but it made me realize money wouldn’t help at all with a big chunk of my problems.
Dang.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, I will share the burden.
Two women at the same time
Fuckin A
And B!
Riiiiiiiight........ and how about those TPS reports? Did you read the memo? I am going to send it to you
The first thing that came to my mind. Two very beautiful women at the same time. Preferably goth or with goth vibes. Then hopefully all three of us can become a beautiful throuple. Yes, that's all this man wants.
I don't think you need f@#k you money for that
The type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like them would.
Good point.
The word "fuck" is literally in the title. Self censorship maaaaaaybe not needed
No, you need fuck two money
If you look like they do, you do.
Set up a small game dev studio and hire 7-20 people and just create things for the rest of my life. also grab a moderate house that has an office room in it.
Same dream love this
Buy a house in Maui and spend the rest of my life on the beach/snorkeling chilling in paradise. Mama's fish house every day!
Blue roof tho
My friend has been sleeping with a sleazy comedian who’s a decade older and part of a two-person sketch group and treats her like crap. I would hire 100 people to go to their next show and LMAO at everything his partner says and be dead silent at everything he says
This is the kind of petty nonsense that deserves to have fuck you money behind it
I’d go to work after renting a New Orleans Marching Band and parade float. In the distance you would hear some jazzy beats coming down the road. As the music gets closer and louder I tell my co worker “my ride is here”. I then get on the float that’s decorated in flowers on the side with the words “So long suckers! I quit” and we pull off into the sunset as I shoot off one of those guns that spits out stacks of 100 dollar bills.
Thats really good.
Three chicks at the same time
Inflation at work, used be two chicks.
Fuckin A
And B and C!
I’d do Batman shit.
I'd support my family who had to move to tijuana b/c money issues, pay for rehab for my dad. Then I'd pay for all the orthodontic stuff I haven't been able to get. Mouth surgery, braces, night guard. There's this cool pocket knife I've been looking at. It's about $110 bucks. It's the Bestech Swordfish with jade handle and magnacut blade. Can't afford rn lol. Probably buy some nice drums and a small building or nice shed to play them in. Then, b/c I have a kidney disease and severe diet restrictions, I'd hire a personal chef to make yummy food even given my severe restrictions. Personal skatepark would be pretty sick Probably make some smart investments and donate most of it. At least I'd like to think I'd be that generous and not tight-fisted with my money.
Buy the Epstein client list and post it online. I know Conspiracy nuts will claim I did it to remove myself, because I have fuck you money.
#BigButtDivaPink didn't kill himself Edit: was trying to do a hashtag but the giant bold is too funny.
A happy mistake, as Bob Ross would say.
Happy accident. There are no mistakes
Buy property and a house. Build a tavern/longhouse, and play Pathfinder 3 to 4 times a week. Spend every weekend traveling or bbquing with my friends.
Nothing much to be honest with you. Try to see how much I can give away to family/friends/charity without losing "FU" status then maybe travel a bit more comfortably (i.e. springing for first/business class and getting a larger hotel room hear and there). Other than than, things will most likely remain the same.
I'm going to Japan
House Man cave Happiness
Sleep. I would sleep in.
Bail my friends out of their current money issues.
Travel
Move into a cabin in the woods in Alaska, become a bartender in a small town, get to know the locals, get a cat, and buy enough guns to make my own army of weaponized raccoons
1. Quit my job effective immediately. Fuck your 2 weeks notice 2. Pay off my house, debts, etc. 3. Make sure the "fuck you money" can last me my entire life. Consult a lawyer/CPA. Probably put some in an HYSA or individual brokerage--there needs to be a certified way to have income coming in monthly. 4. Start planning trips, vacations, exploring new hobbies 5. Whatever leftover I can afford goes into frivolous things.
Buy land and move away from people
911 GT3 Rs
Draw up some plans with an engineer and architect and build a dream house with underground parking and a car lift for an entrance. Lots of slides and secret rooms too because I'm ultimately just a big kid. Buy several shit cars and learn how to build them into not so shit cars. Just have fun with it really
1. Give a chunk to my dad who’s homeless to live off of 2. Make sure rent is paid for my siblings 3. Live in another country for a month after notifying my job for leave 4. Come back and resume life as before and invest the rest
I'd live a quiet life, only going out to buy necessities. Or maybe I'll have them delivered.
Two chicks at the same time, man.
Fuckin A
I’d build a lazy river around my property with a drawbridge. This would accomplish two things, I get to just float away some afternoons and also keep people the fuck away from me.
If the river is the divider between you and said people, I’m not sure it would accomplish one of those things. They could just wait for you to circle around and talk to you then. Or walk along the bank while you floated. Personally I’d bring a golf cart and drive it next to you, but a British one so the steering wheel is on the right side so someone else could drive while I drank a mocktail and discussed investment opportunities with you.
He'd probably be able to reverse the flow of his river with his fuck you money and you'd look so stupid in your backwards golf cart
I'd go looking to buy property on which a nice home would be built.
Travel and take pictures. I call it the Myspace Tom plan
Hookers and Scotch
I would start several group homes for people with mental disabilities in my area. Like high quality mansions and not institutions with fluorescent lights. Actual Homes. Fully staffed with well paid workers.
Go to university without the need for a loan and rent an apartment within walking distance as well. That’s pretty much it.
Buy 2 of my business competitors in my area then quadruple my fees to a client that plays all three of us.
Buy my mother a house.
Buy a house on a mountain approximately 4,048 miles from the nearest neighbour.
I’d quit my job and find a nice cabin to live in somewhere in the mountains and enjoy a quiet but comfy life
I’ll tell you what I’d do, man…..two chicks at the same time
I’ve been told I have fuck you money but I don’t believe I do. So at the moment I’m not working, full time caring for my 2 young kids and will be back at work when youngest reaches proper school age. However the more fun answer would be I would pay someone to mind my children so I could have a nice holiday, and do lots of bowling when I got home. I’d ideally pay for a home chef, cleaner and gardener and hire a nanny. If I had lots of fuck you money, I’d move to a properly with a nice sized garden.
Pay off all my bills. Buy a nice boat large enough to sail the world’s oceans and see how healthy a lobster, shrimp, king crab wuagu beef and salad diet is.
Pay off my debt then buy a blue gem ak in cs2.
Help people.
If I knew that, I'd know what I want to do with my life. Well, in terms of a job, at least. I'd probably travel, make sure family is set up for life, and invest so that my money continues to make money. Then I'd probably buy a nice lot of land and live off of it. I don't want to be a farmer in terms of industrial terms, but I'd like to do it enough to provide for myself and any family I have. I'd probably also start some kind of shelters, etc.
Pay off house, buy rv, travel around for a few yrs. Kids are grown and gone now. Good time for it.
My wife and I have been married for ten years, we never had a honeymoon though. I’d take her on a honeymoon and pay someone like $5k to watch the kids for a week or so.
Leave my shitty 3th world country and buy a house for my mom
I've got this long running idea that I call "dignity farms." Basically it's a large farm that takes in the homeless, gives them jobs working the farm, which provides food for them. Extra food is sold to stores to fund the program and put money in their pockets. Having on-site medical and mental health as well as career counseling/development with financial planning/etc. So many folks end up destitute for reasons beyond their control. A safety system that prevents folks from falling thru the cracks. Ofc it'd need hooks to the social services departments for those who are incapable of self care. There'd need to be some referral out system for people that are beyond the help of the farm. But, give folks what they need to thrive and you'll see folks thrive. And damnit, if my government can't do it, I would. The only thing holding me back is a stupid amount of money.
Pay off all debts, retire early, set up a wealth generating portfolio that will allow me to live the life I want and never have to be slave to a 9-5 again. Buy lots of land, start a big ass garden. Spend all my time growing things, and feeding my friends and family.
Rain hell on the people who abused me
Build/buy a house in Greece. Pay off my parent’s loans (mortgage).
Buy land, invite those closest to me to build on it and build a homestead. Live happily and healthily 😁
Payback time!
Work to ensure that onlookers noticed no difference in my financial status and work in the shadows to promote public transport, eliminate nationalists and destroy religions political influence. But I might be describing *fuck y’all money*.
Buy a yacht and go sailing like on Wolf on Wall Street
Buy a cabin up on a mountain river
Stocks and bonds baby. It’s never enough
Buy an M4 Competition.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/faOPVcPNVP
Go to Hawaii and surf 🏄♂️
Therapy
Buy heavy equipment and start an excavation ~~hobby~~ business
Basically, after putting a majority of it into my brokerage accounts, live a “I won’t tell anyone I have ‘fuck you’ money, but the signs will be there” kind of life.
Retire my mother
As much as I would like to list out a bunch of rational and mature things, the truth is I'd probably OD somewhere in Mexico with at least two hookers close by.
Quit my job. Get a part-time job. Bullshit a "trust" that pays me to figure out other ways to keep the government from my money. Get fired from said part-time job, anonymously buy a lake. Buy ducks. Profit. Next, invest in bull semen. Profit. Slow fund a Para military organization that uses a charity as front for operations in which I plant operatives in the government. Then operatives as representatives. Then operatives as law enforcement. Then, start infiltrating the ranks of the armed forces. Etc. That's phase 1. I figure playing the fool while the seeds I've planted do the work while I pull the strings. And buy a lambo.
Buy a Miata!!!
Call my fiancé and tell her to quit her job that she hates. Tell her that we’re going to have the wedding of our dreams and don’t have to worry about how expensive it is. Drastically reconsider our honeymoon plans.
Smirks: 750million on red goes broke, oh well the games the game
I would buy an animal sanctuary and build an open plan zoo attached to it so I could have endangered animals live there. I’d also buy every fucking cigar on earth
Pay for every and any medical procedure my mom might need right now, the best insurance and set up retirement for her
I have thought about this a LOT. If I suddenly had $100M in the bank, I would write letters to all the friends who abandoned me 20 years ago when my life was in crisis, and I needed their support the most: Dear ——, I have recently been lucky enough to receive a financial windfall of nearly $100M, a fortune beyond what I’ve ever imagined I might ever have. I’ve spent some time thinking back on the friendship we shared, and how special and important you were to me. I know we’re no longer close, but in light of my good fortune, I am enclosing a check for $500 as a small token of appreciation for the friendship we once shared. I hope you spend it wisely and in good health. Best regards, etc. etc. THAT is “fuck you” money.
I'd just disappear.
Quit my job, call my girl friend so she could quit her job and than find the best medical intervention for her messed up spine. Then buy a rally fighter and have a fully decked out custom home built far away from everyone.
Buy a normal house and car in cash and pay off all taxes/tags/insurances for life so id never have to worry about the basics again.
As a single dad who order out way to often the first thing I would do is hire a chef. I don’t enjoy cooking, I’m not good at it , my kids are picky eaters, and honestly I suppose I might be the same. I don’t like any part of it. Making a menu, shopping, cooking, cleaning. All trash. Someone please help.
Fake my death
buy all of you mfs therapy
Pay off my debt, pay of my parents/cousins/best friends debt. We are all coming up together. Get an accountant/tax advisor, a lawyer, a nutritionist, and a personal trainer for me and my immediate family. Go to all the doctor visit I can’t afford now because of how messed up the American healthcare system is. Create a fund for kids in my small hometown to go to college if they get above a 3.75 gpa. Create a cancer foundation or be a major donor to one of the many, as I’ve lost family members to it and almost my mother. Invest a big chunk in reforestation and start my own global renewable energy generation company as that is the industry I work in. Buy a few houses around the world focusing on the US, Mexico, Colombia, and Spain. Spend most of my days working a similar job to what I do but with a much bigger impact, workout 6 days a week, and salsa dance 3-4 days a week. Pretty much my life now but bigger impact and in more countries.