If you’re at a gathering and the host (or anyone else) is outside grilling, you have to go check in with him at least once to see how things are going (and to see what he’s doing wrong, though you won’t tell him).
Mmmmm. Yeah those are lookin’ good, yeah. Don’t flip em too much now, you’ll loose the juices. Yeah, You see that burger right there, I want you to pick it up and set it back down in the exact same spot.
When your buddy is with his crush, you stay quiet and laugh at his jokes. You also never tease a friend for collecting odd items like gas masks, swords, or crowbars. The desire to own these things is a strong one.
Stay quiet? Nah you gas him up by telling her how many times he saved your life... and your Nan's life... and so on... The guy's a fucking hero and she should feel privileged to be breathing the same air as him.
Exactly. You don’t outshine him in any way but when it’s your turn to speak you emphasize what an absolute stallion your boy is but don’t be too funny. Then give him back the floor quickly.
"This guy right here was there for me when my wife left me. I had nowhere else to go, I hadn't dated in a while and was nervous, and morally I just go through with hiring a prostitute. This guy helped me with my 'needs'."
When I was dating my husband, not a single one of his extremely tight group of friends ever crossed a line with me, but made me feel like family instead. Solidified my trust in him too.
If shit ever goes down and you find yourself in a bad part of town inside a boarded-up house facing down a samurai with tear gas, the answer is not enough.
That depends, a real samurai with an authentic gear or a mall ninja samurai?
It’s an important distinction.
Edit: also this seemed relevant:
American Dad, Toshi Samurai
https://youtu.be/gEm_MdkZGL4?si=mfrLyZZTF5yCbXOL
I love swords. I love having them as decor on the wall because they remind of the fantasy movies/games I would watch and play as a kid. But if I bring a girl over, I have to hide my swords. 😞
Nah, leave em out! I posted my house on r/malelivingspaces ages ago and got told many times that my Lego room, decor, and the Crow figure on my bedside table would all stop me getting laid.
You've no idea how many times I got women wanting to come over specifically because I mentioned a Lego room. Always be you because if you attract someone pretending to be someone else, then they don't want you. They want a lie.
I'd rather be disliked for who I am than wanted for who I'm not.
Yup. If a woman refuses to be with you because of you have shit you are interested in your house, well then that isn’t gonna be a good long lasting relationship anyways.
Im not a hookup person really, but I definitely wouldn’t want to hookup with someone who is gonna say no last minute because I have legos or something around.
Good women will like that you have hobbies and interests. And the best woman for you will have those as shared interests
I've learned Lego is a particular good hobby in most womens eyes. It's quiet, shows I can take my time on something meticulous, shows I have enough disposable income for a pricey hobby, and it's wholesome.
Woman here and this comment 100%!!
Years ago I bought a Star Wars AT-AT Lego set to give as an anniversary gift cause I knew he loved both (Star Wars and Legos). I hadn't seen Star Wars then (I know I know I grew up under a rock LOL) but I helped him build it, too.
A partner should support your hobbies. They may not always understand em, but ideally they will love seeing your eyes light up when watching you do something that makes you happy. That's what you deserve so don't settle for less! <3
Nope. You want the girl that embraces that part of you. My wife has bought me a couple of lightsabers she knew I wanted for Christmas in past years. My 60th birthday was a trip to Disney to fly the Millennium Falcon. Last year she got me the Punisher War Machine figure for Christmas.
That's my fiance now. Eight years later she, hops in my discord with my online community chats jokes with the group. Buys me things related to my interest will even get the matching shirt sometimes for herself and my daughter. It's really awesome being allowed to be yourself around someone.
At work, guys asked once "why women keep asking each other if they wanna go to the restroom together?"
To the other guy said "no reason why we can't do it."
And a third one "you wanna go? I do, let's go together"
And hence started a new tradition at work where men would regularly invite each other to go to the restroom
Years ago, I had a drill sergeant say, "There is no manly way to eat a banana. You either break it apart into little pieces like a bitch, or you deep throat that shit like a faggot. What's it going to be, Private?"
We had a guy in basic named Cunningham that was about to eat a banana without breaking it and our Drill Sergeant (We called him Korean Jesus) literally SCREAMED “STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!” across the chow hall, BOLTED toward Cunningham, got real close to his face and pointed as he said “You break that fucking banana right now private. We don’t eat like that around men.”
*EVERYBODY* was fighting for their LIFE not to burst out laughing (for those not a vet, basically if you talked or laughed while eating in basic you got fucked up). Like we had tears in our eyes from trying to keep quiet. It physically hurt.
Man, I sometimes miss the military cause of moments like that.
It’s odd cause I can see the humour and I smiled, there’s a beauty to it in a way like it could be a deleted scene from the first act of full metal jacket.
The literal screaming homophobia hurts my soul though. And yes I am one.
I’m not saying the banana problem isn’t real though. Has to be tackled with care.
Nah, ask a veteran. The military is home to the gayest straight people on the planet. We’re all so desensitized to homophobia off the aspect of being around ONLY men for most of your time in the army (I was combat mos. Very few women) that you could whip your dick out in front of me and I’d probably go “cute” and go back to whatever I was doing. And I’d say it with 0 sexual attraction to you.
In 2010 I joked with a buddy that letting gays in would make the marine corps less gay because everyone would start worrying if the other dude liked it
In marine corps bootcamp you’re not allowed to say “I” you have to refer to yourself in the 3rd person “this recruit”. One time late at night a guy was coming back from the bathroom and bumped into a drill instructor. “Sorry sir I didn’t see you.” Followed by the bravo scream, the highest pitch wail a man can make used by bravo company drill instructors to fuck your brain up. I!, I!, do you wanna fuck me you sick country fuck!” “You are a recruit a ewe is a female [lamb]” (he said goat but looking up the spelling it’s a female lamb). “So again do you wanna fuck me gay goat fucking mother fucker” it was the hardest I ever had to hold in laughter
Ft Leonard wood in January in the mess hall and everybody was coughing. Drill was getting annoyed and stood up and said ok now everybody cough, and we all did and he said ok now stop and be quiet and we were for about 30 seconds then someone started coughing again. Drill very frustrated said “yall gon make me lose my mind” followed by the entire hall replying “up in here, up in here” we all got smoked in the snow that day and laughed forever about it.
The Nod.
Upward nod is "We know one another and I greet you heartily with the appropriate degree of familiarity."
Downward nod is "We do not know one another but I acknowledge you or respect you”
My dog understands it lol. I was doing it subconsciously to show her to go the right way around trees on the leash. Eventually she picked up on it and watches my head movement to tell which way I want her to go.
She’s a smart one
Once down nodded a guy and he didn't nod back. Felt disrespected af. Told my gf at the time about it and she said "maybe he thought you were gay." Which just added insult to injury. She had no idea about nodding with men until another time I was with her and me and a random guy nodded at each other, and then she acknowledged it was a thing. She was a dumbass
Apparently there is some science behind the nod. Upward nod exposes your neck and is something people generally only do for people we are familiar with. Downward nod doesn't and actually somewhat protects the neck. So inherently Upward nod is a gesture of trust in some sense.
A note on the Nod. I think this is mostly a United States Phenomenon. I was in Europe for a spell earlier this year and was embarrassed how many unreturned nods I sent out to other men.
But a returned Nod was almost a sure fire sign of another American. It very well could be anecdotal as well so not too many grains of salt.
I learned this as a kid and sometimes got frustrated that some adults/women didn’t appreciate this. Silence doesn’t have to be negative. Silence can be quality time. Enjoying others’ company.
My wife - "Hey, when you hung out with John last night, how is he doing?"
Me - "Oh I have no idea."
Wife - "You were together for seven hours. How is his wife, sick grandma, kids, dog, work?"
Me - "Hmm. It never came up. BUT, we speedran Halo: Combat Evolved the anniversary edition on Legendary in seven hours!"
Wife - "Great. What did you talk about?"
Me - "Mostly how the storyline evolved and strategies behind taking out the elites or hunters in the stickier situations. We also found all the skulls and at one point, I leapt from a tank he was driving to commandeer a banshee mid-air, then used that to eliminate the wraiths that were blocking our path. I really think the magnum is the best weapon in the first game, it's so OP. I'm a little annoyed at how much they nerfed it in the more recent editions. Secondly, Halo 2, can we talk about how the Needler was easily the best..."
Wife - *Leaves the room...*
This drives my partner INSANE. She just cannot comprehend that I caught up with a buddy of mine for several hours, and didn’t talk about their family, their kids, or how their neighbour Bob is going.
Not many men view gossip as entertainment and most find personal deep dive questioning invasive and disrespectful. Men can bond over talking about Halo, football, and car maintenance just as well as women do talking about family drama, kids routines, and their sister's-in-law neighbors' sexcapades.
I remember having to teach my wife this shortly after we were married. I had a couple friends over and we were all sitting in the living room zoning on something. My wife walked in a little while later with drinks, and started insisting that we go outside to play a round of cornhole or fire up a video game or something. None of us wanted to do those things.
When I asked her about it later, she said that we weren't doing anything and it was boring, so she was trying to help us out. I had to explain to her that we *were* doing something.
Had a big get together at a friend's apartment, all us guys went down to the sauna and got nicely toasted and relaxed, did a meditation etc, it was bliss.
We went back up upstairs just vibing in the empty drawer and all the women were so concerned because of the silence. It took a lot to convince them that an incident or a big fight hadn't occurred lol.
I recently left a job. On our lunch break, after one lad burped, I remarked that I was going to miss our silent lunches. He remarked earnestly that he loved them. Right on cue, two female cleaners came and sat in the same area and filled the air with utterly incessant chatter, seemingly without pause for breath.
“A peaceful silence,
Shattered by hens’ loud clucking.
Two halves of one whole.”
I used to visit my grandpa regularly after my grandma died. I’d go over, sit down in the other recliner in front of the TV, and watch shows with him in silence for two or three hours, then get up to leave. He *always* said, “Thanks for coming over, it was a real real good time!” 🫡
Dudes being dudes.
I have always wanted to use a picture of five urinals to explain quantum superposition.
*Shows class a picture of five urinals
"How many urinals are there?"
"5" answers a female student.
"We don't know until someone steps up to one" replies a male student, "because both 3 and 2 exist simultaneously right up until one is decided, and we have no way to predict."
In that instance, there is always at least 1. If it’s busy, a maximum of 5 for social acceptability but with 10 friends comfortable with each other, 8 but I’m pretty sure I lost the sauce.
I hear you, friend, but "grave emergency situations" is a bit of a stretch, especially since sporting events are not emergency situations. And we all know that urinal code gets waived when there is a queue for the loo.
This one's just asking for a "Janitors/Custodians of reddit, is it true that middle urinals require less cleaning than the ones on the end of the row" thread. Of course, we already know the answer, but still...
The end ones tend to have a puddle of piss underneath them. I sometimes use the middle one, especially at rest stops and gas stations, to avoid tracking piss into my car.
The Urinal Buffer. If you gotta go next to someone pick a point on the wall and stare at it. or down, but not to long other wise that would gather unwanted attention "whys he looking at his so long. must be something special. gonna take a peek!"
Men are willing to share but I think we're also more territorial and respectful of each other's boundaries. I've lived with many roommates and if something isn't ours it doesn't exist unless we own it or we have explicit permission to use it. This is why the rogue who steals milk is such a villain.
Eager to share; but more eager to be self-sufficient.
When our bro's significant other is around and he isn't, we treat her like she's our favorite sister. If they need a hand with a step down, we offer a hand. If they are carrying something heavy, we carry it for them. If they seem cold, we offer our hoodie. Pretty much anything their guy would do for them in public, we will also offer. Always 100% courteous and appropriate.
Men don't gossip about other men with each other.
When I was in my early 20s I used to work at this little factory where it was all women; I was the only guy except for the foreman. When we would go on break the weirdest shit would happen: everyone would be talking and friendly but if one of the women went to use the bathroom or something as soon as she left some of the others would talk shit about her. And when she came back it was like nothing happened. This shit happened pretty much every day.
Guys don't do this. Ever. Because if the above situation happened as soon as the guy who left came back at least one dude would be like "Hey, what were you saying about him again?" just to bust some balls. But even without that most dudes just don't feel comfortable talking shit about someone behind their back because we expect it to get back to them.
It's pretty wild how this happens. I'm shocked at how much trash women talk about each other. But I guess it's consistent usually, and they are still all friends (usually), so maybe it's just sort of empty conversation? I'm not sure.
When I'm with a group of guys, if one guy leaves and people start talking shit, it's pretty understood that whatever is said can be reasonably expected to get back to the person being talked about. Usually the 'gossip' is much more tactful, like instead of "jesus that guy is obnoxious to be around he talks so much!", to something like "whew, it's nice now that it's quieter hah".
Guys can fist fight each other and have a beer 20 minutes later like it didn't happen. But if you talk behind a guy's back, the bridge of trust has been burned and is likely irreparable unless there is a really good explanation.
You're not wrong.
But we will talk mild shit about realities sometimes, but we generally avoid the petty backstabbing. "Yo, Did you hear that Jonesy got shitcanned? Yeah, man. His boss was a dick but you know Jonesy. He's always fucking late."
But the next time you saw Jonesy, you'd say the same thing to his face after you bought him a beer.
I was surprised this goes for jokes as well. Walking into a crowded event bathroom saying, so this is where all the dicks hang out does not go over well with some.
Broke the fuck out of that one. I married the girl that my best bud dated for 6 years. To be fair, it was a small town, and everyone is someone's ex. We were all in the same friend group, and he asked her out. He had done this before. He basically broke up the friend group.
Yeah, that was kind of a rule in my small town too; but the rule was "don't date anyone your best friends dated, *unless you let your friends know first you are going to date them*.
I would phrase that as, don’t date her without your homies approval beforehand. And anything but a yes, is a no.
I had a buddy’s ex from a year ago express interest in me. I told her I’d have to check with her ex Dave first for approval. She got mad and said Dave doesn’t own me. I said I’d agree but it’s what good homies do. She got miffed about it, I never bothered checking with the ex. We never dated. No regrets.
Also depends on how long though. A couple dates and no chemistry? Talk to him but it shouldn't be a big deal. An actual exclusive relationship that was longer than a few months? I couldn't bring myself to do that.
Had a friend date my ex of 5 years 2 months after we broke up. When he found out I learned of it from her he didn't just block me on social media he deleted every single account entirely. He was a massive sack of garbage and I hope he has a horrible life
It's why I never bring my wife to my buddies house, he's a manic nut and always doing something to the house. Like he got bored one day and decided to re-roof his garage.
You don't humiliate a man in front of his wife/girlfriend or kids.
Let's say you're armwrestling. You can win but you have to make it look like it was close and you can't be cocky about it.
We're not doing it for your feelings, dude. We're doing that for the wife and kids' feelings.
If your feelings are hurt, use it for inspiration at the gym.
Your winning him in arm wrestling shouldn't affect his peace of mind at home is all he's saying I think. When arm wrestling alone I agree, it's different.
I saw this hilarious meme about if men on a night out; asked one of your bros "Hey, can we go inside the men's toilets for a bit". [this](https://youtu.be/fBeq8eZIxGs?si=qvn2ktF-5wLCeQbe) would happen.
We just don't go to the men's toilets together on nights out for a chat with the Bros because it's werid.
[The meme ](https://imgur.com/a/lIaJLti) which is kind of a unwritten rule
Don't fuck with another man's vehicle, unless he fucks with your life.
Don't fuck with another man's significant other.
Don't make threats you don't intend to fulfill.
I think generally we’re slow to anger with one another because we know how quickly it can get deadly.
When a man speaks you nod and speak back. Make eye contact and a strong handshake.
Looking up when hearing a helictopter or jet.
Today we were walking with colleagues during lunch. I walked with two other males. We heard a chinook and all three of us stopped talking and looked up.
In front of us were some female colleagues. They couldn't care less and just kept talking to each other.
If I’m out anywhere and a girl or woman approaches me asking for help, I will do everything within my power to help her out. I had this happen at a bar one time years ago when a woman approached me and pretended to know me. She gave me a hug which was completely random and out of no where. When we separated she looked very uncomfortable, and had this pleading look on her face. Not even a minute later another guy came up to us and asked if we were together. I didn’t say anything at first, and the woman squeezed my arm. At this point my monkey brain somehow put the pieces together, and I just said, “hey babe, is this guy bothering you?” The guy looked kinda pissed off, said some stuff about not realizing she was with someone and walked off.
She thanked me profusely, told me her friends were on the way and they were gonna leave to go to another bar before this guy came up to her and started harassing her. Funny enough, I had just arrived and was looking for my buddies who I was meeting there. She apparently took the opportunity to run away from the situation when the dude said he was gonna get them a drink. I offered to stay with her until her friends arrived, and she agreed.
To avoid repeating anything.
My friends and I have an unspoken rule that when we’re out in public stationary we are always in positions where we can watch each other’s backs.
It seems trivial, but when you go from chilling with people who stand watching your back with heads on a swivel to people who are oblivious to a lot of shit and kind of just standing next to you, you feel the difference.
You don't hook up with, flirt with or even entertain the idea of dating your friend's ex.
Unless you've brought it up to him and he says it's cool.
This sounds really weird, but honestly, there's times when you know for a fact that your homie is better off with your ex than you were.
In the south it seems like “if someone isn’t holding the door for the woman walking in you must hold the door.” Is a code.
I’ve watched my husband nearly sprint to open the door for an old lady last week. Lol
If you’re at a gathering and the host (or anyone else) is outside grilling, you have to go check in with him at least once to see how things are going (and to see what he’s doing wrong, though you won’t tell him).
Mmmmm. Yeah those are lookin’ good, yeah. Don’t flip em too much now, you’ll loose the juices. Yeah, You see that burger right there, I want you to pick it up and set it back down in the exact same spot.
I recognize this but can't place it. Family guy?
[Exactly](https://youtu.be/7KgXINKMqZ0?si=oFOGyIJEtjan-2d0)
When your buddy is with his crush, you stay quiet and laugh at his jokes. You also never tease a friend for collecting odd items like gas masks, swords, or crowbars. The desire to own these things is a strong one.
Stay quiet? Nah you gas him up by telling her how many times he saved your life... and your Nan's life... and so on... The guy's a fucking hero and she should feel privileged to be breathing the same air as him.
Exactly. You don’t outshine him in any way but when it’s your turn to speak you emphasize what an absolute stallion your boy is but don’t be too funny. Then give him back the floor quickly.
“Thank you for paying for my little sister’s nephew’s neighbor’s dog’s surgery 🙌🏼👏🏼”
"This guy right here was there for me when my wife left me. I had nowhere else to go, I hadn't dated in a while and was nervous, and morally I just go through with hiring a prostitute. This guy helped me with my 'needs'."
When I was dating my husband, not a single one of his extremely tight group of friends ever crossed a line with me, but made me feel like family instead. Solidified my trust in him too.
Hey man. Remember those times you saved my life. Show your girl this post.
Yes, this too
*nods head in agreement*
crowbars is a new one for me, but as a buddy I don't judge - just show genuine interest in my buddy's interests.
How many mall ninjas are in your peer group?
If shit ever goes down and you find yourself in a bad part of town inside a boarded-up house facing down a samurai with tear gas, the answer is not enough.
That depends, a real samurai with an authentic gear or a mall ninja samurai? It’s an important distinction. Edit: also this seemed relevant: American Dad, Toshi Samurai https://youtu.be/gEm_MdkZGL4?si=mfrLyZZTF5yCbXOL
if i'm mostly getting hanger swords and arming swords, it's more mall pirate. if it's from a decent shop, then it's pirate reenactor
I love swords. I love having them as decor on the wall because they remind of the fantasy movies/games I would watch and play as a kid. But if I bring a girl over, I have to hide my swords. 😞
Nah, leave em out! I posted my house on r/malelivingspaces ages ago and got told many times that my Lego room, decor, and the Crow figure on my bedside table would all stop me getting laid. You've no idea how many times I got women wanting to come over specifically because I mentioned a Lego room. Always be you because if you attract someone pretending to be someone else, then they don't want you. They want a lie. I'd rather be disliked for who I am than wanted for who I'm not.
Yup. If a woman refuses to be with you because of you have shit you are interested in your house, well then that isn’t gonna be a good long lasting relationship anyways. Im not a hookup person really, but I definitely wouldn’t want to hookup with someone who is gonna say no last minute because I have legos or something around. Good women will like that you have hobbies and interests. And the best woman for you will have those as shared interests
I've learned Lego is a particular good hobby in most womens eyes. It's quiet, shows I can take my time on something meticulous, shows I have enough disposable income for a pricey hobby, and it's wholesome.
Woman here and this comment 100%!! Years ago I bought a Star Wars AT-AT Lego set to give as an anniversary gift cause I knew he loved both (Star Wars and Legos). I hadn't seen Star Wars then (I know I know I grew up under a rock LOL) but I helped him build it, too. A partner should support your hobbies. They may not always understand em, but ideally they will love seeing your eyes light up when watching you do something that makes you happy. That's what you deserve so don't settle for less! <3
Nope. You want the girl that embraces that part of you. My wife has bought me a couple of lightsabers she knew I wanted for Christmas in past years. My 60th birthday was a trip to Disney to fly the Millennium Falcon. Last year she got me the Punisher War Machine figure for Christmas.
That's my fiance now. Eight years later she, hops in my discord with my online community chats jokes with the group. Buys me things related to my interest will even get the matching shirt sometimes for herself and my daughter. It's really awesome being allowed to be yourself around someone.
This rule, will let you know if your friend really your friend or not.
I own two rusty crowbars. Been thinking of adding a newer one to my collection.
Only shake your own dick at the urinal
See that’s just rude, I consider myself to be a helpful person
At work, guys asked once "why women keep asking each other if they wanna go to the restroom together?" To the other guy said "no reason why we can't do it." And a third one "you wanna go? I do, let's go together" And hence started a new tradition at work where men would regularly invite each other to go to the restroom
Make it more formal with a group bathroom email invite list and you've got yourself some Diversity and Inclusion initiative promotion points.
Is this learned from experience or trial and error.
Don't make eye contact with another man while eating a banana
Years ago, I had a drill sergeant say, "There is no manly way to eat a banana. You either break it apart into little pieces like a bitch, or you deep throat that shit like a faggot. What's it going to be, Private?"
Unpeeled, hands on each end and bite side to side like corn on the cob. Same way I suck dick.
Jesus! I thought I was the only one
We had a guy in basic named Cunningham that was about to eat a banana without breaking it and our Drill Sergeant (We called him Korean Jesus) literally SCREAMED “STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!” across the chow hall, BOLTED toward Cunningham, got real close to his face and pointed as he said “You break that fucking banana right now private. We don’t eat like that around men.” *EVERYBODY* was fighting for their LIFE not to burst out laughing (for those not a vet, basically if you talked or laughed while eating in basic you got fucked up). Like we had tears in our eyes from trying to keep quiet. It physically hurt. Man, I sometimes miss the military cause of moments like that.
Basic really was the funniest place where you’re not allowed to laugh.
It’s odd cause I can see the humour and I smiled, there’s a beauty to it in a way like it could be a deleted scene from the first act of full metal jacket. The literal screaming homophobia hurts my soul though. And yes I am one. I’m not saying the banana problem isn’t real though. Has to be tackled with care.
Nah, ask a veteran. The military is home to the gayest straight people on the planet. We’re all so desensitized to homophobia off the aspect of being around ONLY men for most of your time in the army (I was combat mos. Very few women) that you could whip your dick out in front of me and I’d probably go “cute” and go back to whatever I was doing. And I’d say it with 0 sexual attraction to you.
In 2010 I joked with a buddy that letting gays in would make the marine corps less gay because everyone would start worrying if the other dude liked it
thats the trick marines always liked it.
In marine corps bootcamp you’re not allowed to say “I” you have to refer to yourself in the 3rd person “this recruit”. One time late at night a guy was coming back from the bathroom and bumped into a drill instructor. “Sorry sir I didn’t see you.” Followed by the bravo scream, the highest pitch wail a man can make used by bravo company drill instructors to fuck your brain up. I!, I!, do you wanna fuck me you sick country fuck!” “You are a recruit a ewe is a female [lamb]” (he said goat but looking up the spelling it’s a female lamb). “So again do you wanna fuck me gay goat fucking mother fucker” it was the hardest I ever had to hold in laughter
Had a similar thing happen during a boot camp inspection. And the RDC was intentionally trying to get me to laugh.
Ft Leonard wood in January in the mess hall and everybody was coughing. Drill was getting annoyed and stood up and said ok now everybody cough, and we all did and he said ok now stop and be quiet and we were for about 30 seconds then someone started coughing again. Drill very frustrated said “yall gon make me lose my mind” followed by the entire hall replying “up in here, up in here” we all got smoked in the snow that day and laughed forever about it.
Stare him in the eyes while biting off 2 inches at a time
"ain't nothing more manly than topping a dude, SGT!"
But if you do make eye contact with another man while eating a banana, do not break eye contact until you're done.
And wink
Also, when eating a banana, banana to mouth, never mouth to banana.
Do you use one hand or both hands to eat yours? Not sure I’m doing it right…
Short bites, Quick bites, No eye contact, No closing your eyes.
The Nod. Upward nod is "We know one another and I greet you heartily with the appropriate degree of familiarity." Downward nod is "We do not know one another but I acknowledge you or respect you”
We also have the up at a 45 deg angle to ask if they have a minute. The other is the head tilt to indicate “check this out”.
[удалено]
My dog understands it lol. I was doing it subconsciously to show her to go the right way around trees on the leash. Eventually she picked up on it and watches my head movement to tell which way I want her to go. She’s a smart one
These are often quick double nods.
I also thought downward nod is for respect and upward nod is, what's up dawg
Once down nodded a guy and he didn't nod back. Felt disrespected af. Told my gf at the time about it and she said "maybe he thought you were gay." Which just added insult to injury. She had no idea about nodding with men until another time I was with her and me and a random guy nodded at each other, and then she acknowledged it was a thing. She was a dumbass
I mean, have you ever sucked a penis? She could have been right. You don't really know until you've tried it.
I have and it turns out it wasn't for me it was just the cocaine
Apparently there is some science behind the nod. Upward nod exposes your neck and is something people generally only do for people we are familiar with. Downward nod doesn't and actually somewhat protects the neck. So inherently Upward nod is a gesture of trust in some sense.
Downward could include, "I recognize you, even though we're not well acquainted."
A note on the Nod. I think this is mostly a United States Phenomenon. I was in Europe for a spell earlier this year and was embarrassed how many unreturned nods I sent out to other men. But a returned Nod was almost a sure fire sign of another American. It very well could be anecdotal as well so not too many grains of salt.
UK does this also
i wouldn’t expose my neck in london, hell naw
We do it in Portugal
First thing I thought.
The tongs must be clicked at least twice before use.
Yes to confirm that it is working.
It's important to keep them properly calibrated. It's right there in the OSHA handbook.
Also pull the trigger on your drill and rev a chainsaw a couple times.
I was observing this at the supermarket, but apparently it is a universal thing. I have seen both men and women do this.
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I learned this as a kid and sometimes got frustrated that some adults/women didn’t appreciate this. Silence doesn’t have to be negative. Silence can be quality time. Enjoying others’ company.
My wife - "Hey, when you hung out with John last night, how is he doing?" Me - "Oh I have no idea." Wife - "You were together for seven hours. How is his wife, sick grandma, kids, dog, work?" Me - "Hmm. It never came up. BUT, we speedran Halo: Combat Evolved the anniversary edition on Legendary in seven hours!" Wife - "Great. What did you talk about?" Me - "Mostly how the storyline evolved and strategies behind taking out the elites or hunters in the stickier situations. We also found all the skulls and at one point, I leapt from a tank he was driving to commandeer a banshee mid-air, then used that to eliminate the wraiths that were blocking our path. I really think the magnum is the best weapon in the first game, it's so OP. I'm a little annoyed at how much they nerfed it in the more recent editions. Secondly, Halo 2, can we talk about how the Needler was easily the best..." Wife - *Leaves the room...*
This drives my partner INSANE. She just cannot comprehend that I caught up with a buddy of mine for several hours, and didn’t talk about their family, their kids, or how their neighbour Bob is going.
Not many men view gossip as entertainment and most find personal deep dive questioning invasive and disrespectful. Men can bond over talking about Halo, football, and car maintenance just as well as women do talking about family drama, kids routines, and their sister's-in-law neighbors' sexcapades.
I remember having to teach my wife this shortly after we were married. I had a couple friends over and we were all sitting in the living room zoning on something. My wife walked in a little while later with drinks, and started insisting that we go outside to play a round of cornhole or fire up a video game or something. None of us wanted to do those things. When I asked her about it later, she said that we weren't doing anything and it was boring, so she was trying to help us out. I had to explain to her that we *were* doing something.
Had a big get together at a friend's apartment, all us guys went down to the sauna and got nicely toasted and relaxed, did a meditation etc, it was bliss. We went back up upstairs just vibing in the empty drawer and all the women were so concerned because of the silence. It took a lot to convince them that an incident or a big fight hadn't occurred lol.
I recently left a job. On our lunch break, after one lad burped, I remarked that I was going to miss our silent lunches. He remarked earnestly that he loved them. Right on cue, two female cleaners came and sat in the same area and filled the air with utterly incessant chatter, seemingly without pause for breath. “A peaceful silence, Shattered by hens’ loud clucking. Two halves of one whole.”
10/10 haiku
I used to visit my grandpa regularly after my grandma died. I’d go over, sit down in the other recliner in front of the TV, and watch shows with him in silence for two or three hours, then get up to leave. He *always* said, “Thanks for coming over, it was a real real good time!” 🫡 Dudes being dudes.
Some people really need to learn this still
If there's room in the public bathroom to leave an empty urinal between you and the other guy, you do.
Always put a urinal between you and the guy next to you.
I have always wanted to use a picture of five urinals to explain quantum superposition. *Shows class a picture of five urinals "How many urinals are there?" "5" answers a female student. "We don't know until someone steps up to one" replies a male student, "because both 3 and 2 exist simultaneously right up until one is decided, and we have no way to predict."
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In that instance, there is always at least 1. If it’s busy, a maximum of 5 for social acceptability but with 10 friends comfortable with each other, 8 but I’m pretty sure I lost the sauce.
*Note - this rule only goes into effect at large gatherings when the line is longer than 3 minutes.
someone make Picard meme out of this THERE ARE FIVE URINALS but like give him a bad wig or something
The middle one is virtually non-existent. Especially if all others are still free. You only occupy it in grave emergency situations.
I hear you, friend, but "grave emergency situations" is a bit of a stretch, especially since sporting events are not emergency situations. And we all know that urinal code gets waived when there is a queue for the loo.
Both peeing your pants and the halftime break ending are, as we all know, unanimously accepted grave emergency situations.
Indeed, that is a fair assessment. Cheers!
This one's just asking for a "Janitors/Custodians of reddit, is it true that middle urinals require less cleaning than the ones on the end of the row" thread. Of course, we already know the answer, but still...
The end ones tend to have a puddle of piss underneath them. I sometimes use the middle one, especially at rest stops and gas stations, to avoid tracking piss into my car.
The Urinal Buffer. If you gotta go next to someone pick a point on the wall and stare at it. or down, but not to long other wise that would gather unwanted attention "whys he looking at his so long. must be something special. gonna take a peek!"
Too many guys in my office want to come up next to me and start a conversation. How do we teach these guys the code.
Turn and answer their question while maintaining flow.
Fart. Fucking let it rip. Preferably a loud one so they can tell the rest of the office. Fuck those assholes. Pee time is MY me-time with my bladder.
By turning to face them mid stream to answer their innaine prattling...make sure to keep eye contact untill after you've shook and stowed your junk.
Share everything except women and underwears
This should read: share everything except things you put your peter into.
Lmao
Men are willing to share but I think we're also more territorial and respectful of each other's boundaries. I've lived with many roommates and if something isn't ours it doesn't exist unless we own it or we have explicit permission to use it. This is why the rogue who steals milk is such a villain. Eager to share; but more eager to be self-sufficient.
I always share my condoms with my bros
When our bro's significant other is around and he isn't, we treat her like she's our favorite sister. If they need a hand with a step down, we offer a hand. If they are carrying something heavy, we carry it for them. If they seem cold, we offer our hoodie. Pretty much anything their guy would do for them in public, we will also offer. Always 100% courteous and appropriate.
do this with my buddy's gf. He's my brother so she's my little sister in law.
I do this but it is to show her what I would be like as a boyfriend so she brings her girlfriends to me.
And if you really impress her, you get introduced to her sister.
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I don't even do this for my sister idk what he's going on about. She cold? Too bad should have brought a sweater
But not (under any circumstances) are you to treat her like your “favorite” step sister….
But what if she gets stuck in the dryer again?
This is called being a gentleman. It's a lost art these days.
I see people being friendly and courteous in real life. Moreso so in smaller towns. Online is a different story.
I can't write it, it's unwritten!
It’s ok! This is a safe space for un*typed* rules..
No talking in the restroom or making eye contact. Happy?
Men don't gossip about other men with each other. When I was in my early 20s I used to work at this little factory where it was all women; I was the only guy except for the foreman. When we would go on break the weirdest shit would happen: everyone would be talking and friendly but if one of the women went to use the bathroom or something as soon as she left some of the others would talk shit about her. And when she came back it was like nothing happened. This shit happened pretty much every day. Guys don't do this. Ever. Because if the above situation happened as soon as the guy who left came back at least one dude would be like "Hey, what were you saying about him again?" just to bust some balls. But even without that most dudes just don't feel comfortable talking shit about someone behind their back because we expect it to get back to them.
It's pretty wild how this happens. I'm shocked at how much trash women talk about each other. But I guess it's consistent usually, and they are still all friends (usually), so maybe it's just sort of empty conversation? I'm not sure. When I'm with a group of guys, if one guy leaves and people start talking shit, it's pretty understood that whatever is said can be reasonably expected to get back to the person being talked about. Usually the 'gossip' is much more tactful, like instead of "jesus that guy is obnoxious to be around he talks so much!", to something like "whew, it's nice now that it's quieter hah".
Guys can fist fight each other and have a beer 20 minutes later like it didn't happen. But if you talk behind a guy's back, the bridge of trust has been burned and is likely irreparable unless there is a really good explanation.
You're not wrong. But we will talk mild shit about realities sometimes, but we generally avoid the petty backstabbing. "Yo, Did you hear that Jonesy got shitcanned? Yeah, man. His boss was a dick but you know Jonesy. He's always fucking late." But the next time you saw Jonesy, you'd say the same thing to his face after you bought him a beer.
It's partly because of the consequences. Talk shit about the wrong dude and you'll be catching his hands
Walk next to the road when out with women and kids Dont shake hands sat down
I did this with my girlfriend until we engaged and she asked me to stop. I don’t do it with her anymore even though we’ve been married for 5 years
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There is an entire sub-code on public bathroom etiquette.
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Cheeky bastard
I was surprised this goes for jokes as well. Walking into a crowded event bathroom saying, so this is where all the dicks hang out does not go over well with some.
It goes for pretty much all conversation.
Yes! Why guys why do you do this!
The head nod when passing in close proximity. To not do it is extremely disrespectful.
It's both acknowledgment of the other's presence, as well as a declaration of peace-- we will not be fighting today.
don’t mess with any girl your homie used to mess with
Broke the fuck out of that one. I married the girl that my best bud dated for 6 years. To be fair, it was a small town, and everyone is someone's ex. We were all in the same friend group, and he asked her out. He had done this before. He basically broke up the friend group.
Yeah, that was kind of a rule in my small town too; but the rule was "don't date anyone your best friends dated, *unless you let your friends know first you are going to date them*.
I would phrase that as, don’t date her without your homies approval beforehand. And anything but a yes, is a no. I had a buddy’s ex from a year ago express interest in me. I told her I’d have to check with her ex Dave first for approval. She got mad and said Dave doesn’t own me. I said I’d agree but it’s what good homies do. She got miffed about it, I never bothered checking with the ex. We never dated. No regrets.
Bros before 304s.
Also depends on how long though. A couple dates and no chemistry? Talk to him but it shouldn't be a big deal. An actual exclusive relationship that was longer than a few months? I couldn't bring myself to do that.
Had a friend date my ex of 5 years 2 months after we broke up. When he found out I learned of it from her he didn't just block me on social media he deleted every single account entirely. He was a massive sack of garbage and I hope he has a horrible life
precisely. other situations in which this rule is inactive, to me, is hookups & one night stands.
Don't do home improvement or yard work in front of another man's wife. She's gonna start bugging him to do the same
It's why I never bring my wife to my buddies house, he's a manic nut and always doing something to the house. Like he got bored one day and decided to re-roof his garage.
Yup, and then it's "oooh why don't we do that" and we inevitably means you alone on a Saturday 😂
I’ve seen this happen, it’s quite amusing.
After tying something down to your car, you’re required to say, “That’s not going anywhere.” Even if no one else is around.
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Do you nod up? Or nod down?
Up is casual , down is respectful
if it's not attached to you don't beat it
If it's not attached to you go to the nearest emergency room and bring it with you, they may be able to reattach it.
If possible you always skip one urinal
You don't humiliate a man in front of his wife/girlfriend or kids. Let's say you're armwrestling. You can win but you have to make it look like it was close and you can't be cocky about it.
Quite frankly I'd feel more insulted and humiliated if I knew someone was patronizing me like that
We're not doing it for your feelings, dude. We're doing that for the wife and kids' feelings. If your feelings are hurt, use it for inspiration at the gym.
Your winning him in arm wrestling shouldn't affect his peace of mind at home is all he's saying I think. When arm wrestling alone I agree, it's different.
Word is bond. If I can’t trust the words coming out of your mouth, I want nothing to do with you.
I saw this hilarious meme about if men on a night out; asked one of your bros "Hey, can we go inside the men's toilets for a bit". [this](https://youtu.be/fBeq8eZIxGs?si=qvn2ktF-5wLCeQbe) would happen. We just don't go to the men's toilets together on nights out for a chat with the Bros because it's werid. [The meme ](https://imgur.com/a/lIaJLti) which is kind of a unwritten rule
Throwing rocks at water. Once a man does it, other men will follow suit. After a few rocks in, they're lifelong buddies.
Don't fuck with another man's vehicle, unless he fucks with your life. Don't fuck with another man's significant other. Don't make threats you don't intend to fulfill.
Threats that you're willing to fulfill are "warnings" and should be conditional. "keep doing that, and you'll find out" Never make threats.
I think generally we’re slow to anger with one another because we know how quickly it can get deadly. When a man speaks you nod and speak back. Make eye contact and a strong handshake.
Looking up when hearing a helictopter or jet. Today we were walking with colleagues during lunch. I walked with two other males. We heard a chinook and all three of us stopped talking and looked up. In front of us were some female colleagues. They couldn't care less and just kept talking to each other.
Just tell your wife you said hi to the guys from her even though you never have and probably never will.
Is this where we get to talk about fight cl-💫
🦷
>Don't make eye contact with another man while eating a banana Also, Don't make eye contact with another man while putting on lip balm
Never criticize a guy’s choice of partner or choice of employment.
Urinals are for pissing, not conversing.
Drunk cunts violate this a bit too regularly for my liking.
If I’m out anywhere and a girl or woman approaches me asking for help, I will do everything within my power to help her out. I had this happen at a bar one time years ago when a woman approached me and pretended to know me. She gave me a hug which was completely random and out of no where. When we separated she looked very uncomfortable, and had this pleading look on her face. Not even a minute later another guy came up to us and asked if we were together. I didn’t say anything at first, and the woman squeezed my arm. At this point my monkey brain somehow put the pieces together, and I just said, “hey babe, is this guy bothering you?” The guy looked kinda pissed off, said some stuff about not realizing she was with someone and walked off. She thanked me profusely, told me her friends were on the way and they were gonna leave to go to another bar before this guy came up to her and started harassing her. Funny enough, I had just arrived and was looking for my buddies who I was meeting there. She apparently took the opportunity to run away from the situation when the dude said he was gonna get them a drink. I offered to stay with her until her friends arrived, and she agreed.
To avoid repeating anything. My friends and I have an unspoken rule that when we’re out in public stationary we are always in positions where we can watch each other’s backs. It seems trivial, but when you go from chilling with people who stand watching your back with heads on a swivel to people who are oblivious to a lot of shit and kind of just standing next to you, you feel the difference.
Where do you live? Kuwait?
NEVER hit on your buddy's girl and don't be the funniest in the room when she's around.
Bros before hos. No crotch watchin' Don't wear pearls No tight pants.
If I die suddenly, my buddies are responsible for destroying my phone and deleting my browser history...
You never take the urinal next to another guy unless it is the last urinal available.
A wise man one said, a lot of life can be summed up in four words. “Don’t be a dick“
The drill trigger must be pressed twice to test for effectiveness.
Friends wife, gf is your sister no matter if she looks like Aphrodite.
When you catch them looking at a booty you don't say shit.
If your neighbor has his garage door open and he is in there working. Walking over to talk or help is perfectly acceptable.
Nod down to acknowledge strangers Nod up to say hi to friends Don’t get those mixed up
No talking in the bathroom unless you're both at the sink washing your hands.
Never date your friends ex
You don't hook up with, flirt with or even entertain the idea of dating your friend's ex. Unless you've brought it up to him and he says it's cool. This sounds really weird, but honestly, there's times when you know for a fact that your homie is better off with your ex than you were.
In the south it seems like “if someone isn’t holding the door for the woman walking in you must hold the door.” Is a code. I’ve watched my husband nearly sprint to open the door for an old lady last week. Lol
Don't fuck your friends ex gf, current gf, wife or ex wife.
1. Do not cockblock.
There is no code, except for pin code. And we arent giving you the pin code
Respect. We give respect openly.
The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.
dude, you had one job....
The nod of acknowledgement when passing each other in public. It's like a silent "I see you, bro" moment.
An "up" nod if you know the man, a "down" nod if you don't.