Applied for a Sr role promotion and during the interview I went over my extensive experience working working with C Suite execs and some of the feedback I got was "you need to explain how this relates to the role" 🙄
I worked at a place where I was known as an expert and good at my job. I made it clear I wanted a specific position. I applied twice, they passed on me both times. So I took the job at another company.
My work offered me the position I wanted and a raise to try and keep me from leaving. They magically had a change of heart and thought I was great for the position. Makes no sense, they could have just given me the job the first time I applied and I'd still be working there.
Fucken dummies.
When I managed a team, they would only give raises to people who were a flight risk. Just by chance, we had a quarter in 2019 where like 10 people left to go to a competitor. They identified those people's friends (maybe 4 or 5) and gave them a raise because they were worried they'd follow. I asked about a couple of others who I thought were even better and was told, "No, they're not going anywhere."
They say a man knows other man want their woman, but a woman only start to know she is with a great man once she sees other women looking at her man.
Most companies think the same way, they think people won’t leave, and they need to see their collaborators being wanted elsewhere to understand they might have made a mistake, might not be seeing an angle.
Yep, another load of 🐂💩
I was hired into a job a few years back under the idea that I was replacing an older man in a management position who was retiring in a year and a half. Started training under him and covered his vacations. Multiple times I was asked if I was still planning on replacing this person, we'll call him "Wilson". I always said I was working hard to learn everything from him to be able to seamlessly replace Wilson, and never got any negative feedback, so I naturally assumed all was well.
Then, out of nowhere, three months before "Wilson" was set to retire, they hire another outside person to replace him, and tell me I will be remaining in a lower position working under the new person, but that I was expected to help train this person too! Nope, pass. I quit right then.
Came to say something similar. Mine was;
"If you drop out (of college) in order to pick up more hours we will take care of you in the future"
It ultimately worked out for me and the experience arguably ended up being more valuable than the degree would have been when I left the company. But, man, did that fuck my whole life up for like 10 years.
I finally found a place that does, but man does it take a while for the people above you to move on. It's annoying because this is supposed to be a stepping stone job for me and I need to get 18 months in the actual driver's seat of the role before I start applying elsewhere to similar roles with a larger scope and more pay.
Money buys time.
The mistake of the rich is they use that time in the pursuit of more money instead of the pursuit of happiness.
Like buying Twitter as a vanity project, tanking it's stock prices, and cyber bullying 16yt olds.
Say what you will about Leo Decaprio but chilling on Yatchs and screwing supermodels is a much more ideal use of wealth IMO
XYZ Opinion is valid because it's their opinion.
Yes, it is a valid statement that it is your opinion. But you also may have a crap opinion and just because you have it doesn't mean anyone should pay it any attention one way or another.
There's also a difference between an opinion, an educated opinion, and an influenced opinion. They are not equal in weight or value.
Also the idea that there's a comic strip better than Calvin and Hobbes. GTFO with that nonsense.
This is my biggest complaint about social media. Everyone now has a platform and so many use it to share their crappy opinions. 20 years ago, only a few people knew someone was an idiot and that was that. Now they are able to announce it to the world and other idiots join in and validate whatever stupid opinion it is. = person is emboldened and repeats the cycle.
They're here to protect your things as long as you can prove you purchased them, and had them in your possession, where you said they were, in the condition you say they were in.
Allstate had screwed me over on a legit claim for a waterbed leak on a 2nd story so when i had a house fire I hired a public adjuster. They are an insurance adjuster you hire to work on your behalf. If they are legal in your area, hire one.
I explained the situation to the public adjuster including what had happened previously and why I was hiring him. I scheduled him to arrive a half hour after the allstate adjuster's appointment.
I was quoted 11 grand for repairs and was told to stay with family during the fix by allstate. When the public adjuster arrived, I told him allstate's offer IN FRONT OF the allstate adjuster. He begged me to not use the public adjuster and work with him. We both laughed at him to his face. They ended up paying 72 grand and i stayed in a very nice 2 story extended stay motel for 9 months during the repairs, all paid by allstate.
Fuck you allstate. Side note... the public adjuster said never buy insurance from a company with "farm" in the name so your comment tracks.
My ex girlfriend assuring me “Just tell me who else you've slept with, I won't be mad." You bet I got a silent treatment for 5 business days after that.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to but also its sad that lots of men and women or shall I say people I know get made at people for having a past. Unless its something to actually get mad at, I don't understand why being with other people before knowing of your partners existence is bad at all. It makes no sense.
Naw. Gf at the time went out for coffee with some rando.
When I confront her she said it wasn't a date she just thought he was very fit and wanted to get to know him better.
Is what an attractive person would say.
Then they only date other attractive people and friendzone the average people in their lives, use them for time and resources and only give them enough attention to give them hope that something might happen. Thereby keeping them around to be of use to them.
Exactly, it seems like all they want to do in public schools to prep the kids to be good little automatons to work for corporations day in and day out. It is almost like the government through public schools want you to go to college and amass debt so you will be a wage slave. Before the government got in the business of student loans universities were a lot cheaper when I went to Murray State University n 87 tuition, 5/2 meal ticket, and dorm fees was 1501.00 the semester price today has exceeded inflation by 300% from what I paid. Luckily after 1 semester I dropped out and followed my own path, I retired at 54.
Most colleges are a scam. The college that my career path took wasn't. Then again, further education definitely is. If you like something enough to want a career path in, make sure you do your research.
More to the point, that any of that shit (religion) is real. It's all a manmade construct designed to control uneducated idiots centuries ago. It's embarrassing it still has any sort of influence on modern life.
With all due respect, I think a more nuanced approach is required here.
State religion can F off. Absolutely.
But if religion helps someone live a better, more fulfilled life then by all means. But don’t force it on me or anyone else.
That in itself is not a lie. They just don't employ enough people to answer these calls and even if they try, the pay and conditions are a bit shit so not a lot of people might work those jobs depending on where you employ your service team staff.
When people post seemingly legit questions that are thinly veiled attempts to draw eyes to their profile, which is what they are actually trying to promote.
My Macroeconomics textbook had a paragraph stating that tariffs were bad because they prevented wealth from trickling down to employees. It literally stated "trickling down." In a textbook. From an accredited university. Course, it also argued that vacation days were bad because they hurt your earning potential. I don't think I've been so visibly angry at a book in all my life. And if it weren't for the laws of this land I would have tracked down the authors and force fed them said book.
>it also argued that vacation days were bad because they hurt your earning potential
If you think that's bad, last month a corporate spud from the parent company came down and basically said taking sick leave was the same as stealing from the shareholders...
My boss is the worst. She likes to "one-up" every story with one of her own. Now, she has lived a pretty interesting life, I can verify some of that, but most of her stories have little to no basis in reality. Some of the big ones are:
- she was given a secret tour of the Vatican. She even saw rooms that only the Pope is allowed in. When I asked her what was in there, she "can't say as she was sworn to secrecy"
- she's good friends with Al Gore and some mysterious unnamed billionaire and both are always asking for her advice and help. According to her, she basically created the entire project for Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth
- she shared a plane with the 9/11 hijackers just weeks before the attack
- her daughter was speaking in full sentences at 6 months. This was after I casually mentioned that my 10 month old nephew had started saying "mama"
- she helped invent cryptocurrency. She will not elaborate
It’s a tie between:
- “I love you” (no you don’t)
- “Men and women can’t be friends” (I’m gay, does that then mean I can’t be friends with men since I like men?)
- “Give me your money, I’ll keep it safe” - my mum (she never gave me the money back)
>Men and women can’t be friends” (I’m gay, does that then mean I can’t be friends with men since I like men?)
My favorite joke about bisexuals is that since we're attracted to both genders we have no friends, only prey.
I can already see the replies in my mind before me. "Oh but you can succeed if you just work hard."
And that is absolutely true. Everybody can succeed and work their way to the top. The issue here isn't that this doesn't work. The issue is that not everybody will be able to do this, no matter how hard they work. The spaces at the top are limited and social upward mobility of that kind necessitates the existence of poorer, lower social classes. That's why it's called social and not financial upward mobility.
It's also.a factor on people's behaviour, because a lot of people will throw a fit of rage and staunchly oppose any actions, policies etc. that aim to level the playing field even just a bit of make being poor less shit, citing "they should just work harder" because a lot of people hope to snatch one of the few spaces at the top, which means they have to keep others from climbing the ladder by actively kicking them down.
Classism is a bitch!
I like the quote, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
I personally despise people who look at some of my success as "luck". They're the same people who had their feet on the desk while I was studying my craft, at work and away.
I courted a client on a massive deal that wouldn't have happened if I was average, or even above average at my position. He would grill me on the tiniest of details, which I was happy to provide, but there was no way anyone below expert level of knowledge about the products would have been able to keep up. And it was all knowledge you had to dig for, I didn't receive training that would have helped.
Is it lucky that he walked in that day? I mean not really, it was a specialty business, and we were a handful of dealers, so it kind of funneled him in.
And that boat managed to keep them all alive for 40 days, with their varied diets, different climate requirements, and temporary suspension of enacting their natural role in the food chain.
For context, I'm French.
Stumbled once over a video (maybe a YT short?) stating that the Republic was a mistake that made us go into WW1 and royalty would have saved us from it.
Nevermind the fact that out of all the (main?) participants in WW1, we were the only Republic before the US joined in 1917. The rest all being some shade of monarchies.
Monarchists really are living in another world.
A ton of myths around alcohol are just wrong.
1. Bread soaks up alcohol. Not true. Eating helps but not bread specifically.
2. Alcohol warms you up. It actually drops your core temp.
3. Drinking coffee sobers you up. Nah dog.
4. Anything about types of drinks. Alcohol is alcohol. You're gonna feel like shit if you have too much. The order doesn't matter.
Agreed to do the interview without a hint of understanding that people would perceive them as being an official spokesperson. And then proceeded to just eat all the shit.
He IS (was?) an official spokesman. Mods are the owners of a sub. If he wasn't what they wanted as a representative, then they should have de-modded before the interview. Mods are the "face" of subs. When the group doesn't like how the mods are running things, they either leave the group or get the mods removed (or cancel them if they like the mod but have to remove them for optics, like if one is revealed to be a pedo).
“You’re so good at this, if I was your wife I’d fuck you every day.”
“You should be thankful for periods, they guarantee you at least one BJ a month.”
“The honeymoon phase can’t last forever. Eventually we’re going to doing it a few times a week instead of daily.”
“We have two young kids, we have the rest of our lives to have sex when they’re older.”
Try having a degree from a school no one respects and has become unaccredited. Paying for a degree that's been pretty much deemed useless and losing good opportunities because of it.
"ah you don't need to worry about him. He's just a friend."
"sorry, I was drunk. It'll never happen again."
"please forgive me."
"hey, I don't think I feel emotionally attached to you anymore."
I did loss prevention for ten years. One that sticks out off the top of my head was a guy in Sacramento who said he was like the ghetto Robin Hood. He was stealing from Walmart and selling it back to the poor. He even admitted to stealing drinks every time he came in because he was giving it to the poor (himself). Then he got arrested for larceny because he also admitted to selling the stolen merchandise. The cop also reminded him that Robin Hood didn't keep the money he took. All the suspect could say was that he needed to make a living too. Lol.
Probably that in the west we live in a rape culture where 25% of women are raped (this is twice as much as in the DRC where it is frequently employed as a weapon of war).
When I was mistakenly arrested while eating a Chinese meal
[Charles Dozsa: eating a meal... a succulent chinese meal... - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU)
That they “found” one of the terrorist’s passports in the rubble of the WTC after 9/11. Literally molten fires for days and city blocks decimated, and yet an unscathed passport made it from the plane, post-impact, landed safely, and was somehow found? Nope. Sorry.
I think someone fed you bad information. Yes four passports were found, but not in the "burning rubble of the WTC fires"
Two passports were in the crash of flight 93, which wasn't one of the flights that hit the WTC towers. It was the one that crashed in an open field, apparently before it hit its intended target.
One passport was found in the terrorists luggage, that missed the connecting flight.
Only one passport was found near the World Trade Centers, and it was picked up from the debris on the street prior to the collapse of either tower.
So the person that reported "four passports were found" was correct up to that point, and then they added the lie of "pulled from the molten fires of days" to make it sound like a conspiracy theory talking point. Odds are they were trying to promote an idea that the government framed people (while ignoring the tons of non-controversial facts that such programs won't discuss).
By the way, light objects are often thrown or blown from crashing, burning planes. If they happen to be thrown far enough, they often aren't destroyed. That's how debris like this happens. [https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0\*-uQEJxJs4o-DRo0m.jpg](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0*-uQEJxJs4o-DRo0m.jpg) (personal effects from the Charkhi Dadri Midair Collision).
If you look around, you can find tons of photos of crashed planes and those carrying passengers often have plenty of personal effects scatter around the surrounding fields like a confetti of trash.
I think I was 16? at the time. New Year’s Eve, puking my drunken guts. This dude comes up to me and says something along the lines of “you should drink a beer. It’s mostly water and it will sober you up”.
My dudes, beer is how I got that way. That was TERRIBLE advice.
My ex, my college sweetheart if you will and first real girlfriend at the time, broke up with me over texts, and when I spoke to her later face to face about why, she gave me bullshit about how she was tired of me not having a car, and other “faults” I had.
As you can imagine I sat there with the 😒 face, I would have respected her more if she just said “I want to fuck other guys.” It would have hurt, it hurt either way, but I would have respected it.
Oh you don't want to date, just wait for right person.
Imagine your starving of food, oh you don't want this bread I have no no, wait for a pizza. When's the pizza guy show up? Oh I don't know. I haven't seen him come this route... But you never know!
"Once hired, you wont stay in the position for longtime, within 6 months I will promote you"
Stayed in the company for about 18 months and when decided to quit, "Oh sorry, you are the one next to be promoted", but didnt buy that BS and left.
“You’re my best friend I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship”
“You’re like a brother to me I don’t see you that way”
“You’re a great guy I’m sure you’ll find someone”
“I would totally date you if I was single”
“You have so much to offer a partner you just haven’t found the right one yet”
Etc etc etc
I used to work with a guy who told us all at work the combat story from the Clint Eastwood movie "Heartbreak Ridge" as if it had happened to him in real life
"Your call is important to us..."
We are experiencing higher than normal call volume...
Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you momentarily…
Our menu options have recently changed…
Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed.
After 2 hours...
“We promote from within”
"We're a family"
Applied for a Sr role promotion and during the interview I went over my extensive experience working working with C Suite execs and some of the feedback I got was "you need to explain how this relates to the role" 🙄
Also "We're a team" by someone who has never been ON a team, and thinks it's just minions.
I worked at a place where I was known as an expert and good at my job. I made it clear I wanted a specific position. I applied twice, they passed on me both times. So I took the job at another company. My work offered me the position I wanted and a raise to try and keep me from leaving. They magically had a change of heart and thought I was great for the position. Makes no sense, they could have just given me the job the first time I applied and I'd still be working there. Fucken dummies.
When I managed a team, they would only give raises to people who were a flight risk. Just by chance, we had a quarter in 2019 where like 10 people left to go to a competitor. They identified those people's friends (maybe 4 or 5) and gave them a raise because they were worried they'd follow. I asked about a couple of others who I thought were even better and was told, "No, they're not going anywhere."
You really have to wonder why that shit happens. It just doesn't track by any logical measure at all.
More often than not, the person applying/asking is too good at their current role for them to replace with someone else.
They say a man knows other man want their woman, but a woman only start to know she is with a great man once she sees other women looking at her man. Most companies think the same way, they think people won’t leave, and they need to see their collaborators being wanted elsewhere to understand they might have made a mistake, might not be seeing an angle.
Yep, another load of 🐂💩 I was hired into a job a few years back under the idea that I was replacing an older man in a management position who was retiring in a year and a half. Started training under him and covered his vacations. Multiple times I was asked if I was still planning on replacing this person, we'll call him "Wilson". I always said I was working hard to learn everything from him to be able to seamlessly replace Wilson, and never got any negative feedback, so I naturally assumed all was well. Then, out of nowhere, three months before "Wilson" was set to retire, they hire another outside person to replace him, and tell me I will be remaining in a lower position working under the new person, but that I was expected to help train this person too! Nope, pass. I quit right then.
Was this job as King of Prussia?
Came to say something similar. Mine was; "If you drop out (of college) in order to pick up more hours we will take care of you in the future" It ultimately worked out for me and the experience arguably ended up being more valuable than the degree would have been when I left the company. But, man, did that fuck my whole life up for like 10 years.
I finally found a place that does, but man does it take a while for the people above you to move on. It's annoying because this is supposed to be a stepping stone job for me and I need to get 18 months in the actual driver's seat of the role before I start applying elsewhere to similar roles with a larger scope and more pay.
Psychic mediums / people who claim to talk to your dead relatives. For money.
i know someone who hired psychic a lot every occasions of their dead family member.
A lady I know who does that earned enough to buy not one, but two houses in San-Francisco 🥲
"money can't buy happiness" Nah but it'll buy enough shit that I'll never know the difference
That phrase should always be followed up with “but not having money can definitely cause misery”
Funny how I have never once heard a poor person say that
Money buys time. The mistake of the rich is they use that time in the pursuit of more money instead of the pursuit of happiness. Like buying Twitter as a vanity project, tanking it's stock prices, and cyber bullying 16yt olds. Say what you will about Leo Decaprio but chilling on Yatchs and screwing supermodels is a much more ideal use of wealth IMO
And Bugattis, don’t forget Bugattis
Shit I may not be happy with lots of money but those tears roll off those Bugatti leather seats real easy
“Money can’t buy happiness but I’d rather cry in a Ferrari than a Toyota.”
A brand new Toyota would totally crater my finances tbh
Money buys access to happiness. What you do with that access is up to you. Money can free you from the shackles of burdens, debt, and worry.
money cant buy happiness but can buy everything that you want to make you happy..
Rather cry in a Lambo than a Ford hatchback
Money doesn’t buy happiness. But it can pay many types of unhappiness to stay away.
XYZ Opinion is valid because it's their opinion. Yes, it is a valid statement that it is your opinion. But you also may have a crap opinion and just because you have it doesn't mean anyone should pay it any attention one way or another. There's also a difference between an opinion, an educated opinion, and an influenced opinion. They are not equal in weight or value. Also the idea that there's a comic strip better than Calvin and Hobbes. GTFO with that nonsense.
This is my biggest complaint about social media. Everyone now has a platform and so many use it to share their crappy opinions. 20 years ago, only a few people knew someone was an idiot and that was that. Now they are able to announce it to the world and other idiots join in and validate whatever stupid opinion it is. = person is emboldened and repeats the cycle.
And we can't agree on who the idiots are most of the time.
Ehh, sometimes we can dial it in. Happy Cake Day!
You don’t have a right to an opinion. You have the right to the opinion you’re able to defend.
"He is just a friend. Nothing is going to happen." You can draw your conclusions.
He became her best friend?
best friend with benefits
100% this one. Unless he’s a verified gay man I do not trust your “friend.”
“Verified”? Mf you gonna be testing him?
He's gotta know for sure gd it, so chill lol
I wouldn't trust "our gay best friend Ryan" either
Biz Markie warned us
No guy has fucked more wives and girlfriends than the guy who’s “just a friend”
Everything my ex wife said during our divorce process.
Insurance companies: we’re here to protect your things. Fúq you State Farm.
They're here to protect your things as long as you can prove you purchased them, and had them in your possession, where you said they were, in the condition you say they were in.
Allstate had screwed me over on a legit claim for a waterbed leak on a 2nd story so when i had a house fire I hired a public adjuster. They are an insurance adjuster you hire to work on your behalf. If they are legal in your area, hire one. I explained the situation to the public adjuster including what had happened previously and why I was hiring him. I scheduled him to arrive a half hour after the allstate adjuster's appointment. I was quoted 11 grand for repairs and was told to stay with family during the fix by allstate. When the public adjuster arrived, I told him allstate's offer IN FRONT OF the allstate adjuster. He begged me to not use the public adjuster and work with him. We both laughed at him to his face. They ended up paying 72 grand and i stayed in a very nice 2 story extended stay motel for 9 months during the repairs, all paid by allstate. Fuck you allstate. Side note... the public adjuster said never buy insurance from a company with "farm" in the name so your comment tracks.
"I've never done this with any other guy before."
"We're virgins. The both of us."
Where's my baby powder.
My ex girlfriend assuring me “Just tell me who else you've slept with, I won't be mad." You bet I got a silent treatment for 5 business days after that.
You're supposed to stop at her name.
Make sure you don’t include names of girls she knows you didn’t meet until after you met her. Ask me how I know
Hopefully you told her on a Sunday
What led up to being asked that
Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to but also its sad that lots of men and women or shall I say people I know get made at people for having a past. Unless its something to actually get mad at, I don't understand why being with other people before knowing of your partners existence is bad at all. It makes no sense.
"It wasn't a date."
friendzone?
Naw. Gf at the time went out for coffee with some rando. When I confront her she said it wasn't a date she just thought he was very fit and wanted to get to know him better.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch lol
God damn 😭
What you don’t know, won’t hurt you.
it will be more painful when you keep it for a long time and they know it later
Looks don’t matter
Is what an attractive person would say. Then they only date other attractive people and friendzone the average people in their lives, use them for time and resources and only give them enough attention to give them hope that something might happen. Thereby keeping them around to be of use to them.
Highschool career advisor "college is your ticket to a successful life".
Real,i think it should be be rephrase to much easier to apply for a work
Exactly, it seems like all they want to do in public schools to prep the kids to be good little automatons to work for corporations day in and day out. It is almost like the government through public schools want you to go to college and amass debt so you will be a wage slave. Before the government got in the business of student loans universities were a lot cheaper when I went to Murray State University n 87 tuition, 5/2 meal ticket, and dorm fees was 1501.00 the semester price today has exceeded inflation by 300% from what I paid. Luckily after 1 semester I dropped out and followed my own path, I retired at 54.
Most colleges are a scam. The college that my career path took wasn't. Then again, further education definitely is. If you like something enough to want a career path in, make sure you do your research.
You want bullshit? Just listen to a congressional or senatorial session.
Here's what god wants . . . yes, of COURSE I know what god wants.
[Exhibit A](https://youtu.be/uGOEt1PCWio?si=R6mWdH42Dgjqi_O2)
More to the point, that any of that shit (religion) is real. It's all a manmade construct designed to control uneducated idiots centuries ago. It's embarrassing it still has any sort of influence on modern life.
With all due respect, I think a more nuanced approach is required here. State religion can F off. Absolutely. But if religion helps someone live a better, more fulfilled life then by all means. But don’t force it on me or anyone else.
Funny how god always wants the same thing as whoever is telling you what god wants
"I don't want to ruin our friendship." Pure, complete 🐂💩
I got the ‘we’re too good friends and I don’t want to ruin that’ speech from a girl I had literally met twice
Yeah, that sounds about right 🙄
I will NEVER leave you.
Or when she says that she needs reassurance that you won’t leave her, but then she ends up leaving you
" ....we are experiencing a high volume of calls...."
That in itself is not a lie. They just don't employ enough people to answer these calls and even if they try, the pay and conditions are a bit shit so not a lot of people might work those jobs depending on where you employ your service team staff.
When people post seemingly legit questions that are thinly veiled attempts to draw eyes to their profile, which is what they are actually trying to promote.
“He’s just a friend” shiiiiiiiiiiiiet
If we give tax cuts to rich people, they won’t hoard that wealth! They will trickle it down to you!
My Macroeconomics textbook had a paragraph stating that tariffs were bad because they prevented wealth from trickling down to employees. It literally stated "trickling down." In a textbook. From an accredited university. Course, it also argued that vacation days were bad because they hurt your earning potential. I don't think I've been so visibly angry at a book in all my life. And if it weren't for the laws of this land I would have tracked down the authors and force fed them said book.
>it also argued that vacation days were bad because they hurt your earning potential If you think that's bad, last month a corporate spud from the parent company came down and basically said taking sick leave was the same as stealing from the shareholders...
Out of curiosity, what year? Because Reganomics and the glorification of workaholism were major components of the boomers' playbook.
"My uncle works at Nintendo" - Every grade schooler in the 80s and 90s i grew up with.
"I cheated on you because he shared a music taste with me" context I met her at an ice nine kills show
Flat Earth
My boss is the worst. She likes to "one-up" every story with one of her own. Now, she has lived a pretty interesting life, I can verify some of that, but most of her stories have little to no basis in reality. Some of the big ones are: - she was given a secret tour of the Vatican. She even saw rooms that only the Pope is allowed in. When I asked her what was in there, she "can't say as she was sworn to secrecy" - she's good friends with Al Gore and some mysterious unnamed billionaire and both are always asking for her advice and help. According to her, she basically created the entire project for Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth - she shared a plane with the 9/11 hijackers just weeks before the attack - her daughter was speaking in full sentences at 6 months. This was after I casually mentioned that my 10 month old nephew had started saying "mama" - she helped invent cryptocurrency. She will not elaborate
This reminds me of the old skits on SNL with Jon Lovitz being the pathological liar lol
Happy wife, happy life lol.
Higher probability than an unhappy one.
Government exists with the consent of the governed.
It’s a tie between: - “I love you” (no you don’t) - “Men and women can’t be friends” (I’m gay, does that then mean I can’t be friends with men since I like men?) - “Give me your money, I’ll keep it safe” - my mum (she never gave me the money back)
>Men and women can’t be friends” (I’m gay, does that then mean I can’t be friends with men since I like men?) My favorite joke about bisexuals is that since we're attracted to both genders we have no friends, only prey.
Lol I love it. Also we can't sit in chairs correctly.
You can def be friends with the gender you're attracted to. You just have to respect boundaries as friends.
"There's someone for everyone"
“Work hard and apply yourself and you’ll make your own luck.”
That actually worked for me tbf
I can already see the replies in my mind before me. "Oh but you can succeed if you just work hard." And that is absolutely true. Everybody can succeed and work their way to the top. The issue here isn't that this doesn't work. The issue is that not everybody will be able to do this, no matter how hard they work. The spaces at the top are limited and social upward mobility of that kind necessitates the existence of poorer, lower social classes. That's why it's called social and not financial upward mobility. It's also.a factor on people's behaviour, because a lot of people will throw a fit of rage and staunchly oppose any actions, policies etc. that aim to level the playing field even just a bit of make being poor less shit, citing "they should just work harder" because a lot of people hope to snatch one of the few spaces at the top, which means they have to keep others from climbing the ladder by actively kicking them down. Classism is a bitch!
I like the quote, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." I personally despise people who look at some of my success as "luck". They're the same people who had their feet on the desk while I was studying my craft, at work and away. I courted a client on a massive deal that wouldn't have happened if I was average, or even above average at my position. He would grill me on the tiniest of details, which I was happy to provide, but there was no way anyone below expert level of knowledge about the products would have been able to keep up. And it was all knowledge you had to dig for, I didn't receive training that would have helped. Is it lucky that he walked in that day? I mean not really, it was a specialty business, and we were a handful of dealers, so it kind of funneled him in.
If you shave it, it will grow back thicker. Had me shaving through the 90s
IRS agent “We are here to help.”
2 of every animal species in the entire WORLD fit on a boat.
And the hyena’s didn’t eat the gazelles.
And that boat managed to keep them all alive for 40 days, with their varied diets, different climate requirements, and temporary suspension of enacting their natural role in the food chain.
For context, I'm French. Stumbled once over a video (maybe a YT short?) stating that the Republic was a mistake that made us go into WW1 and royalty would have saved us from it. Nevermind the fact that out of all the (main?) participants in WW1, we were the only Republic before the US joined in 1917. The rest all being some shade of monarchies. Monarchists really are living in another world.
Liquor then beer, never fear
A ton of myths around alcohol are just wrong. 1. Bread soaks up alcohol. Not true. Eating helps but not bread specifically. 2. Alcohol warms you up. It actually drops your core temp. 3. Drinking coffee sobers you up. Nah dog. 4. Anything about types of drinks. Alcohol is alcohol. You're gonna feel like shit if you have too much. The order doesn't matter.
Ppl claiming being a Jew means you’re automatically a Zionist
Pretty much everything on r/antiwork
Remember when one of their mods did an interview? That was a hoot and a holler.
He was exactly what everyone imagines us Redditors to be. :(
30-year-old, part-time dog walker still living with parents. “Laziness is a virtue.”
Agreed to do the interview without a hint of understanding that people would perceive them as being an official spokesperson. And then proceeded to just eat all the shit.
It was perfect.
I missed it, but read about it in Watters's book "get it together"
He IS (was?) an official spokesman. Mods are the owners of a sub. If he wasn't what they wanted as a representative, then they should have de-modded before the interview. Mods are the "face" of subs. When the group doesn't like how the mods are running things, they either leave the group or get the mods removed (or cancel them if they like the mod but have to remove them for optics, like if one is revealed to be a pedo).
I forgot that sub existed and somehow I'm banned from it.
You must've admitted to having a job lol
Luckyyyyy
Worker solidarity is far from bullshit. Though the dog walking teenage anarcho-communist shitposting does tend to obfuscate that occasionally.
Antiwork is just a bunch of lazy people who don't understand how the world actually works. I'm all for work reform but they take it too far.
no thanks r/jobs is bad enough
Your college major doesn't matter, all that matters is that you get a degree.
“You’re so good at this, if I was your wife I’d fuck you every day.” “You should be thankful for periods, they guarantee you at least one BJ a month.” “The honeymoon phase can’t last forever. Eventually we’re going to doing it a few times a week instead of daily.” “We have two young kids, we have the rest of our lives to have sex when they’re older.”
"Be a nice person and work hard, and good things will come to you."
"We care about our employees."
You went to ________ university you'll get a job in no time! 3 years hasn't really felt like no time.
Try having a degree from a school no one respects and has become unaccredited. Paying for a degree that's been pretty much deemed useless and losing good opportunities because of it.
"he's just a friend"
Job security. If you work for someone, there is no job security.
My ex-wife, when we were still married, went out with another married man. "Just to have coffee"
"Just be yourself and you'll be fighting fighting the ladies off with a stick." Sorry mom.
"ah you don't need to worry about him. He's just a friend." "sorry, I was drunk. It'll never happen again." "please forgive me." "hey, I don't think I feel emotionally attached to you anymore."
Suck it up just because you're a man.
I love you 😒
The government cares about us
"I've never done this before "
I did loss prevention for ten years. One that sticks out off the top of my head was a guy in Sacramento who said he was like the ghetto Robin Hood. He was stealing from Walmart and selling it back to the poor. He even admitted to stealing drinks every time he came in because he was giving it to the poor (himself). Then he got arrested for larceny because he also admitted to selling the stolen merchandise. The cop also reminded him that Robin Hood didn't keep the money he took. All the suspect could say was that he needed to make a living too. Lol.
Read my lips, no new taxes, followed by the largest tax increase in history
Only two weeks to flatten the curve!
Trickle down economics
All religions.
“You don’t have to worry about him”
"The health of our employees is important to us." Proceeds to run a 13 day work week to meet delivery and customer satisfaction
"You should invest in Crypto" (sounded like a Ponzi scheme from the get go to me). Also NFTs for the same reasons.
“Single women are in your area”
Hindsight being what it is, 'you won't always have a calculator in your pocket' is bullshit now.
Anything along the lines of the government/a politician taking care of us.
Hot singles in your areas
“Plenty of fish in the sea” Nah. Fuck that. There are a lot of people out there that more and likely die looking for the “one”
The women's movement is about equality.
Probably that in the west we live in a rape culture where 25% of women are raped (this is twice as much as in the DRC where it is frequently employed as a weapon of war).
When I was mistakenly arrested while eating a Chinese meal [Charles Dozsa: eating a meal... a succulent chinese meal... - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU)
Reparations
Student loan forgiveness. America is built on debt and you will love it. Starting from 18.
Treat a woman good and she'll treat you better LoL 😆😆😆
That they “found” one of the terrorist’s passports in the rubble of the WTC after 9/11. Literally molten fires for days and city blocks decimated, and yet an unscathed passport made it from the plane, post-impact, landed safely, and was somehow found? Nope. Sorry.
I think someone fed you bad information. Yes four passports were found, but not in the "burning rubble of the WTC fires" Two passports were in the crash of flight 93, which wasn't one of the flights that hit the WTC towers. It was the one that crashed in an open field, apparently before it hit its intended target. One passport was found in the terrorists luggage, that missed the connecting flight. Only one passport was found near the World Trade Centers, and it was picked up from the debris on the street prior to the collapse of either tower. So the person that reported "four passports were found" was correct up to that point, and then they added the lie of "pulled from the molten fires of days" to make it sound like a conspiracy theory talking point. Odds are they were trying to promote an idea that the government framed people (while ignoring the tons of non-controversial facts that such programs won't discuss). By the way, light objects are often thrown or blown from crashing, burning planes. If they happen to be thrown far enough, they often aren't destroyed. That's how debris like this happens. [https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0\*-uQEJxJs4o-DRo0m.jpg](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0*-uQEJxJs4o-DRo0m.jpg) (personal effects from the Charkhi Dadri Midair Collision). If you look around, you can find tons of photos of crashed planes and those carrying passengers often have plenty of personal effects scatter around the surrounding fields like a confetti of trash.
I think I was 16? at the time. New Year’s Eve, puking my drunken guts. This dude comes up to me and says something along the lines of “you should drink a beer. It’s mostly water and it will sober you up”. My dudes, beer is how I got that way. That was TERRIBLE advice.
"Transmen are men"/"transwomen are women" "\[thing that requires the labor of other people\] is a human right"
1) Communism is the solution 2) real communism has never been tried. 3) That's not real communism.
“Turn the other cheek”..
“I’ll always love you and never change my mind”
“ I love you”
"I love you".
“I love you” from my mother in law
"she's just a friend" - an ex-girlfriend
My ex, my college sweetheart if you will and first real girlfriend at the time, broke up with me over texts, and when I spoke to her later face to face about why, she gave me bullshit about how she was tired of me not having a car, and other “faults” I had. As you can imagine I sat there with the 😒 face, I would have respected her more if she just said “I want to fuck other guys.” It would have hurt, it hurt either way, but I would have respected it.
The only way to succeed in life is to become a doctor or dentist - Asian parents
Oh you don't want to date, just wait for right person. Imagine your starving of food, oh you don't want this bread I have no no, wait for a pizza. When's the pizza guy show up? Oh I don't know. I haven't seen him come this route... But you never know!
Boeing CEO: "I am proud of how well the company has performed." To US government.
"I forgot to press send"
Education.... "If you have this degree/diploma then you will earn millions"
"I love you."
“Men don’t cry”
Homeopathy. [http://www.howdoeshomeopathywork.com](http://www.howdoeshomeopathywork.com)
"I can't come in to work today. My monkey has an ass infection."
"Once hired, you wont stay in the position for longtime, within 6 months I will promote you" Stayed in the company for about 18 months and when decided to quit, "Oh sorry, you are the one next to be promoted", but didnt buy that BS and left.
"You need to call our accounts department to cancel your subscription"
He's more like a brother than a friend
“I truly value our friendship and wouldn’t want to ruin it” It was bullshit, she was fucking some other guy
Most return to office mandates.
NFTs come to mind. When the elevator pitch sounds like complete bullshit, you know it's bad.
“You’re my best friend I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship” “You’re like a brother to me I don’t see you that way” “You’re a great guy I’m sure you’ll find someone” “I would totally date you if I was single” “You have so much to offer a partner you just haven’t found the right one yet” Etc etc etc
Our option selection has recently changed
"We are experiencing higher-than-normal call volumes" when I called at 2:45 on a Thursday specifically to avoid higher-than-normal call volumes.
Safe & effective
I used to work with a guy who told us all at work the combat story from the Clint Eastwood movie "Heartbreak Ridge" as if it had happened to him in real life