> in my (32F) experience, if a guy is not first interested in you, he'll never really give you a chance. so is it even worth approaching someone?
This assumes every guy who is interested in you will approach you. This isn't the case.
Same, last time I did I just asked her name with a big fucking smile on my face, I still remember the look..like disgusted same as she step on a dog shit..
Still have ptsd from that
It's actually sad...we as women expect men to approach us all the time...me being one of them, yet I myself am terrified to approach a guy. The more I think about it the more I'm shocked at how hard it is and how many times they prob get rejected and we just expect them to keep trying.
It’s soul crushing to constantly get rejected, even if you’re a good looking guy. You’d be surprised how difficult us men have it these days. We are competing against dozens of other guys that the girl is entertaining
When I'm out being social, and in the mood I regularly approach guys. They've minimally been polite in rejecting me, always expressed they were flattered. Definitely go out and try it!
I'm not one who likes to wait around on someone else to get what I want though. I think that mentality makes it more comfortable for me, and I use it for just about every aspect of my life. I may not always get what I want, but I always go after it. On the flip side of that coin if I was interested, I would have approached you. I don't typically like being approached, I find it to be an interruption.
Unfortunately, I find this mentality is something that men don't like. Because tradition is they go after what they want and women are support characters in their goals. Ive been treated more than once like I should just stop wanting things and stop going after things once I "get" them. (I understand that makes a person sound like property, and I don't like that, but I don't have another way to explain it. Because of this I typically choose to stay single and now approach men less because I'd rather focus on other goals. Unfortunately, relationships feel like they will more than likely take things from my life than add things to my life now.
i swear at least 90% of the women who say they "approach guys" must fall into this category.
"I approach guys all the time," thinks glancing when they are not looking and flicking her hair in his general direction is some kind of direct approach.
Aye, I'm one of the guys that are too shy to walk up and chat up a girl I am genuinely interested in, needing a wingman to make the initiative for me, or the girl to do the initiating for me.
In fact, I once kinda had a crush on a girl, something like 5+ years later, I meet her again and we are talking in my car as she's about to get ready to exit and walk home (getting to her house from the main road was awkward, and was easier for her to just walk home from the main road), she suddenly reveals to me that she had actually liked me back when we used to go to the same group together, but I had never initiated contact with her, so she just always assumed I hadn't been interested in her. We awkwardly laughed about it when I told her I did, actually, like her back then, and that was it, we didn't meet each other again after that.
Girls, ladies, women, whatever you prefer to go by, seriously, don't be afraid of approaching guys that you like, there's a chance the guy might even like you already, but is just too shy to approach you!
Once upon a time I had a gym crush. We were always there at the same time and had been making eyes at each other for months but as is tradition never spoke, so obviously things were pretty serious.
One day, she was on the machine next to me, waited between sets, she broke tradition and got my attention. I took an earphone out, she beamed a friendly smile and asked 'So do you basically live here?' Warm, playful, light. My heart rate doubled, my brain stopped. I had to be dreaming. This was a layup. This was Mike Tyson against some youtuber. All I had to do was respond.
'Uhm, no.' Her smile faltered and I instantly knew I had killed the moment. My brain rattled off half a dozen things I should have said, meant to say, couldn't. I put the earphone back in with all the merciless weight of the sun setting. She didn't go at the same time anymore after that.
So even if he likes you, you may just be dealing with a social idiot.
I think the French call it something like "staircase wit", having exactly the right thing to say occur to you well past the moment in which it would have been useful. Happens to everyone, as best as I can make out.
L’esprit d’escalier YES, I think of this phrase once a week… mainly because that’s how often I experience the “damn, should’ve said that” sensation post-facto
You’d be surprised how many women satisfy this and can’t find a great guy or somehow piss him off. Not coming off desperate or not playing hard to get, just being yourself. Being a woman on the spectrum and even working on myself I can’t seem to find consistency, I feel I’m doing something wrong but I know I’ve been mistreated a lot by men so I’m trying to give up
Exactly. A lot of guys aren't swinging at drop dead gorgeous girls because they aren't worth the hassle or can't land them. OP may think she's average, is she approaching average guys? A lot of people find attraction in a variety of potential partners.
Guys generally dig being approached it shows confidence and interest, which is pretty cool. Whether it goes somewhere depends on timing and personal vibes, but hey, it's worth a shot if u're into someone!
A young man & I had been 👁️ by each other for weeks at a diner. He would smile. But never approached me. Finally I wrote a note to him with my phone # and dropped it on his table as I left. He called me in about 15 minutes and it resulted in a very loving relationship.
I’m flattered no matter what, even when gay guys do it to. Interested or not. I take as compliment, and the more attractive they are the more flattering it is. I respond the same way. I’m flattered but sorry I’m married.
I’m straight but I get approached by more men than women actually at a rate of 2 to 1. I’m 6’3 athletic and muscular but I also dress very well and with a great sense of style and groom well so I think that’s why. But honestly I take it as a compliment. Everyone wants to be wanted lol it feels good even if I don’t swing that way.
Yes, men enjoy being approached. This is probably the most common question in this sub.
No, we don’t care if you’re not the most gorgeous, hot, sexy, blablabla.. We dig average janes just as much, if not better, than the hotties.
I’ve always responded well, in fact both of my long term girlfriends approached me first.
*HOWEVER*, approaching a man doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna be successful a 100% of the time. There’s always a chance you’re gonna be rejected, same when men approach.
I'm taken and usually very focused on whatever I'm doing and in my own world. I'm usually confused when anyone approaches me for any reason and it takes me a while to readjust to being social. I go to a local coffee shop to sit down with a latte and work on my artwork here and there and sometimes people will approach me while I have noise cancelling buds in and music playing and I have to totally rearrange my mental space to be able to function socially. I don't usually get to it in time and I just kind of end up saying "thanks" a bit awkwardly or something as a response to whatever they said and then they wander away lol But I'm like that to a lesser extent in everything I do these days.
With confusion and scepticism.
I'd love it but because it doesn't really happen except when someone is trying to fuck with you or scam you I never believe it.
>do guys like being approached?
Yes, obviously.
>I'm talking about normal, average girls, not conventionally attractive maybe.
Yes, obviously.
>how do you guys generally respond?
Kindly but firmly.
>is it even worth approaching someone?
Yes, obviously.
If I find you attractive and you come up flirting with me I’m gonna be very happy that you’re talking to me. If you’re not attractive to me you’ll at the very least get respect from me. Cold-approaching takes nuts, big ones, that you women don’t have. You’ll get respect cause some of you women are braver than some men.
And don’t sell yourself short, there’s thousands of us, and some of us are gonna think that you’re a hot piece of ass. Don’t let those disses get to you.
I mean, I would say I'm very flattered, but my wife isn't fond of me cheating on her, so no. So if it happened to me it would be rejected with good reason, nothing personal.
That said, I've had that happen twice in my life, and it is such an ego boost, to know you caught a girl's attention so much that she feels insistent on saying something which NEVER happens... the answer is no, but take solace that you made my year.
I had been seeing a guy at the gym for awhile very attractive. We'd make eye contact, he'd end up beside me working out. I got too nervous to ask him out directly so I put a note on his car with my information. I live in a small town and go at 430am so there is at most 4 people at one time there he'd know it was from me. Well didn't hear anything back thought he wasn't interested then one day I saw him and he had his ring on. He like most people at the gym don't wear rings because it could cause damage. Totally respect his marriage. Hopefully gave him a little boost lol!
I guarantee you did just like a guarantee you started a fight between him and his ol lady when she saw the note, which is why he started wearing his ring lol
I changed the time I go to later. I don't know how I'd act if I was a wife and that happened in my relationship so just out courtesy to her and not to ruin his gym routine I go a lot later
So it depends how such girl approaches me and before when checking me out.
So like women, when a dude is checking you out, his mouth is open and staring then that dude is creepy as hell.
Same the other way around. So be subtle checking a guy out but make your self known when approaching. Commit to the approach. Commit to what you want and don't be flip floppy.
Also if you liked a guy but before that you shouted at him in anger for any reason. You lost that guy forever.
The result of rejection is identical to the result of not trying at all. Only difference is that not trying at all yields a guaranteed result, while rejection is not guaranteed when approaching.
Never happens to me. Otherwise I would suspect she's being kind or it's a cruel joke. Unless she openly communicated her intent. Then I would still be wary.
Don't get me wrong, it would be a welcome change. Just my 39(M) years of experience have made me guarded af.
Typically, I wake up.
In all seriousness, if she's average, that's more than fine (though probably out of my league anyway). If she's not displaying any of my deal breakers, I'd definitely entertain a conversation to check if we might be a good match - or, if I'm too busy, ask to exchange contact.
My first instinct is to figure out what the threat is. Is she a distraction? Does she want a kidney? Am I being pranked?
If everything seems on the up and up I’d appreciate the interest and take it as a huge compliment. Where it goes from there depends on the details.
I’m pretty dense so if a woman approached me to flirt I would think she’s trying to be nice and just wanted to chat. It would make my day but I wouldn’t think she is hitting on me.
Only positive things. Even if I wasn't interested, I appreciate the conversation. I feel like as a guy, especially when I'm working out and have a little bit of a bigger build, approaching any stranger for anything can be awkward because I can tell people are reading me to see what my "actual intentions" are and if they should feel threatened or not. I completely get it, there are some bad people out there, and I try to change how I present myself at first (lighter clothes, higher voice, more expressive and friendly mannerism) so that people know they can feel safe with me, but it's a lot of work. It makes it hard to meet girls, make friends, or even just ask for directions. If someone comes up to me, it means they've already decided I'm safe enough to approach, and it's always makes for a more comfortable start to the interaction.
Stunned disbelief, followed by suspicion. I am old and not very well maintained. If I was a car, the only reason you wouldn't scrap me is if one of the local dealerships were offering a minimum trade-in deal.
This used to happen to me a lot when I used to be regularly social(school, college, in-person office work). To be brutally honest if I didn't find the girl attractive I would be very brief and try to end the conversation quickly.
I wouldn't have any problem. The girls who have done it to me always either approach me in an obsessive and sinister way or they have taken the rejection very badly.
Because it's so rare...I would be suspicious. I would remain calm and cordial, but my brain would be running laps in my head.
Ladies need to have a little patience when approaching...allow us time to assess the situation.
Ultimately though, I would be flattered.
A girl approached me for the first time last Saturday. I had been eying her up at a bar thinking of how cute she was. Minutes after she did we were making out and now I have her number and we’re planning on going on a date.
How they respond doesn't matter. Be you. Be authentic. If you make an approach one of two things happen interest is shared and reciprocated and that person is part of your life and your story in some way. Other possibility it doesn't happen and you don't live with what ifs and I should have or could have or wished I had.
Which would you rather when you look back on your life?
Fill the book with experiences and fulfilled dreams and wishes not regrets and wishes unfulfilled.
I usually respond to them by grabbing whatever it is that is too high up for them and giving them a "You're welcome" after they thank me. Unfortunately I have had to let many women down when it comes to signing petitions or donating money.
If I'm attracted to her I'll make small talk and be up for a chat.
If I'm not attracted to her, I'll look to exit the conversation quickly but with tact.
“if a guy isn’t first interested in you he’ll never give you a chance” is all the more reason to strike up a conversation and show interest. if a girl doesn’t drop some hints of interest then i’ll assume it’s platonic. i’m not really into hitting on people and coming across as weird unless the environment calls for it or there’s good chemistry
Yes, it is worth approaching the ones you're interested in, and guys tend to like being approached. You have to pick your moments. Make sure the person you're eyeing up is open to an approach. Avoid people working in retail, hospitality etc. If everyone thought like you did, no-one would approach anyone.
So if you've done your due diligence, and I'm open to you taking your shot, come on over. I may or may not be interested in anything romantic, but I'm open to a conversation or a bit of banter. If you think things are going well, offer your number (or whatever the youngsters so these days), or ask for mine.
A lot of times, things don't go your way (at least based on my experience), but sometimes they do, and those times make the other times worth it.
I don't really know since I don't have girls approaching me since highschool, but I'm usually a friendly person so I would probably do what I did back than and at least talk to her and get to know her better, and if I'm not interested in anything with her in the end I'd just try to say it in the nicest way possible, no reason to traumatize someone and make them afraid of trying again with someone else (a lot of girls could learn that lesson too).
Welcome to our world. The only way to know for sure is to shoot your shot.
Basically if a woman thinks I’m already attractive, then I’ve got a pretty good shot when I go over to talk to her.
If she doesn’t find me attractive, then I’ve got a pretty good chance of getting shot the fuck down. 🤷🏽♂️
Sounds like this is something we can all relate to.
It’s absolutely worth the approach, you’ll never know if you don’t give it a shot! And yes, it’s flattering when a girl approaches first, whether we’re interested or not.
In my theoretical opinion, a girl who would approach me goes up 1-3 notches. So a 4/10 could be a 5/10 to a 7/10. Confidence is sexy. Of course, this is all theory.
So again, in theory, if you were a perfectly average, 5/10, you could go up to an 8/10 in my eyes. The bar is pretty low for most guys. Have boobs, a cute face, smell nice and not obese. And that last one can vary! Some guys are into that.
Can’t speak for anyone else, but for me it kind of depends on the situation. If it’s work, then I’d just have to quit my job and move across country to avoid the inevitable fallout. There’s only a handful of other places you would ever find me, the hardware store or the grocery store, possibly once a year at the home and ranch store when I’m buying my new pants for the year, and all of those are fine to approach me in. I won’t go out with you, I’m married, but you can shoot your shot and it’ll be a memory I will treasure.
As a guy who has been interested in girls and gotten rejected each time, no I will not be approaching a girl even if I’m interested. Basically I would need to be approached, or the girl would have to give me total certainty that she’s interested. Because I’m done playing the guessing games that girls play.
Also I think you’ll find that girls that are not “conventionally attractive” are still quite pretty. Lot of guys will see someone who thinks they’re a 6 as a 10. It’s definitely worth approaching me.
Oh hell yes. Most guys are so timid all they can do is sit and wish for a bird to fly into their hand. But as years pass it must be most often that the wife will recall how she had to be a little forward.
I'd like to say that I would keep calm and give everyone a chance but last time someone approached me I panicked and said I wasn't interrested. I would really like a second chance of that.
I would share...if I could recall it ever happening.
I could lay out some kind of fantasy that might be universal or at least a thing, but the reality is: just approach. I imagine that the most likely response is a probably-stuttering and stunned "hi".
i fear being called a creep so much that i would probably just respond to whatever queries you might have and ignore any possible flags to escalate.
( "invite to check out a place tgr", "somehow moving the convo to exchange contacts" )
its not fair for women but yall have to somehow really convince me that you are not just asking a question.
i think there were a couple of times when someone asked me for directions. i just end up showing them how to use google map on their phone so we can end the convo asap. i am that afraid of accidentally coming on too strong
Happened to me twice. Both cases VERY successful for the woman. I like the initiative, in both cases the girl asked me on a date and in both cases I said yes.
So I would say… go for it! The worst that can happen is a rejection. Their loss right?
I like how you say “normal girls”. That is something scientists won’t be able to figure out before they beat cancer. We all are unique. And sexy.
And as an addition: Yes. It’s always worth approaching, If that’s the right thing to do in that context. You gotta read your environment.
Most of my friends ask me how autistic me handle social life so well. Talking to women as a 20(M) year old ain’t that hard. It’s all about reading the surrounding circumstances. “Should you approach me or should I approach you?”
I just do what women do.
If she’s ugly. I make a public scene. Call the woman a pervert harassing men. Take out my camera and record a video putting her on blast. Then sell branded merchandise.
If she’s hot I ignore that I have someone who loves me while welcoming my spot on her roster and let her openly disrespect me with no sense of commitment or care for my well being while actively complaining that there are no good women to date anymore.
The only thing thats a no is obesity, other than that all women are attractive lol. I've yet to be approached by a woman in public in my life. If it happens I would be thrilled and it would certainly end in a date or another meeting of she was interested after talking
I have very few instances were a woman i had 0 attraction to approached me. But in most cases, I give the unconventional girls a chance, usually they have lots of other things to offer
Im a bartender, so I get approached semi regularly
I am a guy. So any person who approaches me, I treat them with respect and dignity just like I want to be treated by anyone else.
Plus just bear in mind that there is so much happening in this world that if a stranger tries to approach (depending on where you are living), people avoid talking just because they don't want to end up being in trouble.
And if you happen to be in a place where "hook-ups" happen, keep in mind that both sides are looking into materialistic things. So don't try to fall to that level or let it impact your emotions.
There is an old saying that a person is known by his/her company. So really if you are looking for "serious" commitment and a relationship then you better focus and invest your time with people who are on the same frequency as you are.
And your observation is correct about guys in general, as guys find those girls more attractive who are out of their reach - it can beauty, status, etc etc. Because we like challenges, and we take them as a challenge to win them.
So I guess I shared pretty good picture about things without breaking the "bro code". 🙂
All the best
Whenever I get approached I’m always friendly even if someone I don’t find attractive approaches, I’m still friendly
And I don’t mind starting a friendship with anyone, it’s when they start crossing boundaries I clearly set things become an issue,
And it goes Vice versus if you wanna be friends clearly set that boundary if you haven’t then set it the moment it gets crossed
I find plenty of "average" girls attractive. Unconventionally "cute" is my jam.
But it doesn't happen so it's moot. Nobody just approaches me like that.
If a girl does something like that, I am absolutely enthusiastic about testing out the relationship. It's so rare that it stands out, and since women seem to be so much more fickle about choosing partners than men, showing intent from the start is about one of the strongest positive signals I could get from a woman I know virtually nothing about.
Personally I’d like to be approached by any lady it show confidence and interest in the guy if she is willing to take that first step I’m already attracted.
Regardless of attractiveness, I dislike the either of someone randomly approaching me to flirt. If I know that's what they're doing, I'll tell them I'm not interested.
As a married man I would be extremely flattered. Explain that I am married and thank her for making me feel so good. Then complement her and wish her the best.
I just smile at a girl if I catch her looking if she reciprocates the smile then I leave it up to her if she’s comfortable with approaching me.
One young woman saw my shirt and we stroke up a conversation on what it mean-it’s Kanji for Subaru. Then bam, natural conversation ensued.
I find most average women attractive tbh so I would be pretty hyped. Even if I wasn't attracted I do enjoy meeting and talking to new people so still probably happy regardless.
Doesn't matter what she looks like, it's just flattering and a huge compliment to have a woman approach me and strike up a conversation. I never assume it's because she thinks I'm cute because I'm completely oblivious unless a woman is basically physically throwing herself at me while naked, but I'm still flattered. I figure she thinks that I seem interesting in some way, and that's a nice ego boost. I'll gladly stand there and talk to anyone, regardless of looks, just to see what happens. Maybe I'll make a new friend. Maybe I'll be horribly awkward and she'll skitter away from me like a startled deer. Who knows? Either way it's nice until I potentially fuck it up.
> in my (32F) experience, if a guy is not first interested in you, he'll never really give you a chance. so is it even worth approaching someone? This assumes every guy who is interested in you will approach you. This isn't the case.
Yep. I stopped approaching women a couple years ago. I suspect many other guys are in a similar position
Same, last time I did I just asked her name with a big fucking smile on my face, I still remember the look..like disgusted same as she step on a dog shit.. Still have ptsd from that
This actually hurt me emotionally. Your explanation was simple but very effective.
Sorry that happened to you Bro. I think a dynamic shift is happening.
It was years ago, thx! Learned something there haha
[удалено]
The juice just isn’t worth the squeeze anymore
Same, stopped approaching women and only go on nights out to have a good time now. None of my friends chase or appproach women anymore.
It's actually sad...we as women expect men to approach us all the time...me being one of them, yet I myself am terrified to approach a guy. The more I think about it the more I'm shocked at how hard it is and how many times they prob get rejected and we just expect them to keep trying.
It’s soul crushing to constantly get rejected, even if you’re a good looking guy. You’d be surprised how difficult us men have it these days. We are competing against dozens of other guys that the girl is entertaining
When I'm out being social, and in the mood I regularly approach guys. They've minimally been polite in rejecting me, always expressed they were flattered. Definitely go out and try it! I'm not one who likes to wait around on someone else to get what I want though. I think that mentality makes it more comfortable for me, and I use it for just about every aspect of my life. I may not always get what I want, but I always go after it. On the flip side of that coin if I was interested, I would have approached you. I don't typically like being approached, I find it to be an interruption. Unfortunately, I find this mentality is something that men don't like. Because tradition is they go after what they want and women are support characters in their goals. Ive been treated more than once like I should just stop wanting things and stop going after things once I "get" them. (I understand that makes a person sound like property, and I don't like that, but I don't have another way to explain it. Because of this I typically choose to stay single and now approach men less because I'd rather focus on other goals. Unfortunately, relationships feel like they will more than likely take things from my life than add things to my life now.
yep many guys did. the bulk of us who don't suffer on apps its a far safer and convenient option
Can confirm, in similar position
Good to point out, that is very true.
You also have to Judge OP's Experience. How many Guys has she actually approached? You can't reach a proper Conclusion after 2, 3, 4 Attempts.
all of which were probably shy, unconfident and more confusing that anything.
Or constituted an "approach" of "giving ambiguous hints I am open to be approached".
i swear at least 90% of the women who say they "approach guys" must fall into this category. "I approach guys all the time," thinks glancing when they are not looking and flicking her hair in his general direction is some kind of direct approach.
Or the look of "anticipation" that often comes off to a guy as "fear" and we avoid the situation entirely due to the risk.
Or the kind that asks an innocent question ala "have you tried the burger here, I hear its good" and think that's directly approaching.
Aye, I'm one of the guys that are too shy to walk up and chat up a girl I am genuinely interested in, needing a wingman to make the initiative for me, or the girl to do the initiating for me. In fact, I once kinda had a crush on a girl, something like 5+ years later, I meet her again and we are talking in my car as she's about to get ready to exit and walk home (getting to her house from the main road was awkward, and was easier for her to just walk home from the main road), she suddenly reveals to me that she had actually liked me back when we used to go to the same group together, but I had never initiated contact with her, so she just always assumed I hadn't been interested in her. We awkwardly laughed about it when I told her I did, actually, like her back then, and that was it, we didn't meet each other again after that. Girls, ladies, women, whatever you prefer to go by, seriously, don't be afraid of approaching guys that you like, there's a chance the guy might even like you already, but is just too shy to approach you!
Once upon a time I had a gym crush. We were always there at the same time and had been making eyes at each other for months but as is tradition never spoke, so obviously things were pretty serious. One day, she was on the machine next to me, waited between sets, she broke tradition and got my attention. I took an earphone out, she beamed a friendly smile and asked 'So do you basically live here?' Warm, playful, light. My heart rate doubled, my brain stopped. I had to be dreaming. This was a layup. This was Mike Tyson against some youtuber. All I had to do was respond. 'Uhm, no.' Her smile faltered and I instantly knew I had killed the moment. My brain rattled off half a dozen things I should have said, meant to say, couldn't. I put the earphone back in with all the merciless weight of the sun setting. She didn't go at the same time anymore after that. So even if he likes you, you may just be dealing with a social idiot.
Did you try crying in the fetal position in the shower after?
Thanks for sharing! It puts things in perspective.
DAYUM I am so sorry this happened to you my brother. Least it gave you some wisdom for next time, plus it makes a good internet story lol
God this hurt to read. Thanks for sharing the story though man. I’m rooting for you!
Lmao great story. Hopefully you learned from your experience
Thought this was going to be one of those ‘and we’re married now’ stories
RIP Bro.
Why not just in the moment apologize for saying what you didn’t mean to? It could have been turned into a cute moment that you were stunned by her. 🥺😔
It's easy at cold mind now, in the moment you are not ready, it's instant ko
I think the French call it something like "staircase wit", having exactly the right thing to say occur to you well past the moment in which it would have been useful. Happens to everyone, as best as I can make out.
L’esprit d’escalier YES, I think of this phrase once a week… mainly because that’s how often I experience the “damn, should’ve said that” sensation post-facto
Damn
I've done things like this a hundred times, brother. It hurts.
If she had shown up the next day, would you have approached her or just revel in the awkwardness?
I intended to, just didn't have the opportunity ever again
You've just ruined my day. I'm logging out
Would've messed with gains
Apprach her.
You're a skilled writer, and you have my condolences. May social anxiety someday become nothing more than a relic of our past.
This winded me, good God. Fumbling the Super Bowl winning pass, my brother.
My first thought, “where’s the camera?”
That would be my first thought as well.
I find a lot of normal and average girls to be attractive so, I’d love to be approached by them and would respond really well.
The key to having a man be attracted to you. 1. Be a female 2. Don’t be grossly overweight 3. Exist
4. Don't be a mean spirited bitch
Don't be unrealistic now bud
dont over make up dont be a mug! dont be desperate
What’s a mug in this context?
>dont be a mug! But how am I supposed to put hot coffee or tea inside of her if she isn't a mug?
Yep if you hit these 3 I always have and always will give her a chance
You’d be surprised how many women satisfy this and can’t find a great guy or somehow piss him off. Not coming off desperate or not playing hard to get, just being yourself. Being a woman on the spectrum and even working on myself I can’t seem to find consistency, I feel I’m doing something wrong but I know I’ve been mistreated a lot by men so I’m trying to give up
4. Don't smell. Not just BO, but overpowering fruity perfumes will put someone off
I feel like there's definitely a standard with looks though. It's not high, but a lot of men won't automatically accept anyone who hits these 3.
4. Breath Mmh maybe point 4 is not applicable to everyone
And they say the bar isn't in hell
Exactly. A lot of guys aren't swinging at drop dead gorgeous girls because they aren't worth the hassle or can't land them. OP may think she's average, is she approaching average guys? A lot of people find attraction in a variety of potential partners.
Guys generally dig being approached it shows confidence and interest, which is pretty cool. Whether it goes somewhere depends on timing and personal vibes, but hey, it's worth a shot if u're into someone!
I'd be happy to be approached, very flattered and I'd enjoy talking more
I'm usually skeptical that she really means it. Since I've had women lie to me about liking me in the past.
Bingo. Or they want a free drink.
I'd assume they're trying to sell me something lol
A young man & I had been 👁️ by each other for weeks at a diner. He would smile. But never approached me. Finally I wrote a note to him with my phone # and dropped it on his table as I left. He called me in about 15 minutes and it resulted in a very loving relationship.
That's nice. But I'm not sure what it has to do with anything I said
> A young man and I How much younger is he?
Mhmmm
I’m flattered no matter what, even when gay guys do it to. Interested or not. I take as compliment, and the more attractive they are the more flattering it is. I respond the same way. I’m flattered but sorry I’m married.
I’m straight but I get approached by more men than women actually at a rate of 2 to 1. I’m 6’3 athletic and muscular but I also dress very well and with a great sense of style and groom well so I think that’s why. But honestly I take it as a compliment. Everyone wants to be wanted lol it feels good even if I don’t swing that way.
Suspicious. I'd probably respond in Russian so she goes away.
интересная идея)))
Yes, men enjoy being approached. This is probably the most common question in this sub. No, we don’t care if you’re not the most gorgeous, hot, sexy, blablabla.. We dig average janes just as much, if not better, than the hotties. I’ve always responded well, in fact both of my long term girlfriends approached me first. *HOWEVER*, approaching a man doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna be successful a 100% of the time. There’s always a chance you’re gonna be rejected, same when men approach.
Except if you're a man it's 80% failure vs 90% success as a woman
Even a 20% success rate is hugh in my experience lol.
Pretty much, yeah
With suspicion and caution.
Most men don't need to worry about answering this question because this is never gonna happen to them.
I’ll let you know when it happens
Damn, so relatable...
I'm taken and usually very focused on whatever I'm doing and in my own world. I'm usually confused when anyone approaches me for any reason and it takes me a while to readjust to being social. I go to a local coffee shop to sit down with a latte and work on my artwork here and there and sometimes people will approach me while I have noise cancelling buds in and music playing and I have to totally rearrange my mental space to be able to function socially. I don't usually get to it in time and I just kind of end up saying "thanks" a bit awkwardly or something as a response to whatever they said and then they wander away lol But I'm like that to a lesser extent in everything I do these days.
We'll realise that she liked us 10 years later?
With confusion and scepticism. I'd love it but because it doesn't really happen except when someone is trying to fuck with you or scam you I never believe it.
>do guys like being approached? Yes, obviously. >I'm talking about normal, average girls, not conventionally attractive maybe. Yes, obviously. >how do you guys generally respond? Kindly but firmly. >is it even worth approaching someone? Yes, obviously.
Apparently I make them my gf
"Is this a prank for tiktok? Where's the camera"
If I find you attractive and you come up flirting with me I’m gonna be very happy that you’re talking to me. If you’re not attractive to me you’ll at the very least get respect from me. Cold-approaching takes nuts, big ones, that you women don’t have. You’ll get respect cause some of you women are braver than some men. And don’t sell yourself short, there’s thousands of us, and some of us are gonna think that you’re a hot piece of ass. Don’t let those disses get to you.
I mean, I would say I'm very flattered, but my wife isn't fond of me cheating on her, so no. So if it happened to me it would be rejected with good reason, nothing personal. That said, I've had that happen twice in my life, and it is such an ego boost, to know you caught a girl's attention so much that she feels insistent on saying something which NEVER happens... the answer is no, but take solace that you made my year.
I had been seeing a guy at the gym for awhile very attractive. We'd make eye contact, he'd end up beside me working out. I got too nervous to ask him out directly so I put a note on his car with my information. I live in a small town and go at 430am so there is at most 4 people at one time there he'd know it was from me. Well didn't hear anything back thought he wasn't interested then one day I saw him and he had his ring on. He like most people at the gym don't wear rings because it could cause damage. Totally respect his marriage. Hopefully gave him a little boost lol!
I guarantee you did just like a guarantee you started a fight between him and his ol lady when she saw the note, which is why he started wearing his ring lol
I changed the time I go to later. I don't know how I'd act if I was a wife and that happened in my relationship so just out courtesy to her and not to ruin his gym routine I go a lot later
So it depends how such girl approaches me and before when checking me out. So like women, when a dude is checking you out, his mouth is open and staring then that dude is creepy as hell. Same the other way around. So be subtle checking a guy out but make your self known when approaching. Commit to the approach. Commit to what you want and don't be flip floppy. Also if you liked a guy but before that you shouted at him in anger for any reason. You lost that guy forever.
I definitely won't be rude, anyone can approach me at basically any time
My first thought "She´ll try to start selling me Herbalife any minute now."
if an average woman approaches an average man the chances are pretty high that he will reciprocate her advances.
The result of rejection is identical to the result of not trying at all. Only difference is that not trying at all yields a guaranteed result, while rejection is not guaranteed when approaching.
I'd be suspicious more than anything. This is a classic setup for stealing my kidneys, after all. It's called a honeypot trap.
You sound interesting mind if I ask what your blood type is?? Just curious…
It's O- haha hey you wanna take this back to my place?
No, but I have a deserted warehouse which will do nicely
O- is a universal blood donor type - perfect
The joke is even better when you explain it <3
‘If a WOMEN approaches you” 😄😄😄
Should be posted in r/unlikely
Never happens to me. Otherwise I would suspect she's being kind or it's a cruel joke. Unless she openly communicated her intent. Then I would still be wary. Don't get me wrong, it would be a welcome change. Just my 39(M) years of experience have made me guarded af.
Panic, inside, panic more!
Realize I'm in a dream and make the most of it. Get married, have kids. White picket fence.. Oh shit I'm suddenly in a Lynch movie 😳
I always love it when women come in here thinking we get approached. Ever.
The only times I've been "approached" were in high school, and they were all people I already disliked.
Typically, I wake up. In all seriousness, if she's average, that's more than fine (though probably out of my league anyway). If she's not displaying any of my deal breakers, I'd definitely entertain a conversation to check if we might be a good match - or, if I'm too busy, ask to exchange contact.
My first instinct is to figure out what the threat is. Is she a distraction? Does she want a kidney? Am I being pranked? If everything seems on the up and up I’d appreciate the interest and take it as a huge compliment. Where it goes from there depends on the details.
[(I've never been approached)](https://media1.tenor.com/m/4IdZ70u_FhsAAAAC/be-gone-thot.gif)
Flabbergasted.
I’m pretty dense so if a woman approached me to flirt I would think she’s trying to be nice and just wanted to chat. It would make my day but I wouldn’t think she is hitting on me.
6/10 girls make me more nervous than 10/10 girls because I think I might have a chance.
Only positive things. Even if I wasn't interested, I appreciate the conversation. I feel like as a guy, especially when I'm working out and have a little bit of a bigger build, approaching any stranger for anything can be awkward because I can tell people are reading me to see what my "actual intentions" are and if they should feel threatened or not. I completely get it, there are some bad people out there, and I try to change how I present myself at first (lighter clothes, higher voice, more expressive and friendly mannerism) so that people know they can feel safe with me, but it's a lot of work. It makes it hard to meet girls, make friends, or even just ask for directions. If someone comes up to me, it means they've already decided I'm safe enough to approach, and it's always makes for a more comfortable start to the interaction.
As a guy, I'll let you know if I'm ever approached
Idk, man. Must be nice, though.
At first, I will think she is up to something. Looking for a free drink, using me to get someone jealous, etc..
Stunned disbelief, followed by suspicion. I am old and not very well maintained. If I was a car, the only reason you wouldn't scrap me is if one of the local dealerships were offering a minimum trade-in deal.
I'd be extremely cautious. Women tend to play games at the expense of men, and usually, it's cruel.
Ii would honestly be happy to be approached. Even if I wasn’t attracted to her I would tell her I appreciate it and know how much guts that took.
This used to happen to me a lot when I used to be regularly social(school, college, in-person office work). To be brutally honest if I didn't find the girl attractive I would be very brief and try to end the conversation quickly.
I wouldn't have any problem. The girls who have done it to me always either approach me in an obsessive and sinister way or they have taken the rejection very badly.
Because it's so rare...I would be suspicious. I would remain calm and cordial, but my brain would be running laps in my head. Ladies need to have a little patience when approaching...allow us time to assess the situation. Ultimately though, I would be flattered.
I try to be friendly regardless of whoever approaches me.
A girl approached me for the first time last Saturday. I had been eying her up at a bar thinking of how cute she was. Minutes after she did we were making out and now I have her number and we’re planning on going on a date.
How they respond doesn't matter. Be you. Be authentic. If you make an approach one of two things happen interest is shared and reciprocated and that person is part of your life and your story in some way. Other possibility it doesn't happen and you don't live with what ifs and I should have or could have or wished I had. Which would you rather when you look back on your life? Fill the book with experiences and fulfilled dreams and wishes not regrets and wishes unfulfilled.
Never happens
I usually respond to them by grabbing whatever it is that is too high up for them and giving them a "You're welcome" after they thank me. Unfortunately I have had to let many women down when it comes to signing petitions or donating money.
put in your head that the average man find the average woman WAY MORE attractive than the reverse.
If I'm attracted to her I'll make small talk and be up for a chat. If I'm not attracted to her, I'll look to exit the conversation quickly but with tact.
“if a guy isn’t first interested in you he’ll never give you a chance” is all the more reason to strike up a conversation and show interest. if a girl doesn’t drop some hints of interest then i’ll assume it’s platonic. i’m not really into hitting on people and coming across as weird unless the environment calls for it or there’s good chemistry
Run
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; one guy might find a woman average or below average, and another man might think she's hot
Yes, it is worth approaching the ones you're interested in, and guys tend to like being approached. You have to pick your moments. Make sure the person you're eyeing up is open to an approach. Avoid people working in retail, hospitality etc. If everyone thought like you did, no-one would approach anyone. So if you've done your due diligence, and I'm open to you taking your shot, come on over. I may or may not be interested in anything romantic, but I'm open to a conversation or a bit of banter. If you think things are going well, offer your number (or whatever the youngsters so these days), or ask for mine. A lot of times, things don't go your way (at least based on my experience), but sometimes they do, and those times make the other times worth it.
Assume I am standing in front of something that she's trying to reach lol.
I don't really know since I don't have girls approaching me since highschool, but I'm usually a friendly person so I would probably do what I did back than and at least talk to her and get to know her better, and if I'm not interested in anything with her in the end I'd just try to say it in the nicest way possible, no reason to traumatize someone and make them afraid of trying again with someone else (a lot of girls could learn that lesson too).
It rarely happens but if it does I figured either she lost a bet or she’s trying to pitch me a pyramid scheme.
Welcome to our world. The only way to know for sure is to shoot your shot. Basically if a woman thinks I’m already attractive, then I’ve got a pretty good shot when I go over to talk to her. If she doesn’t find me attractive, then I’ve got a pretty good chance of getting shot the fuck down. 🤷🏽♂️ Sounds like this is something we can all relate to.
It’s absolutely worth the approach, you’ll never know if you don’t give it a shot! And yes, it’s flattering when a girl approaches first, whether we’re interested or not.
In my theoretical opinion, a girl who would approach me goes up 1-3 notches. So a 4/10 could be a 5/10 to a 7/10. Confidence is sexy. Of course, this is all theory. So again, in theory, if you were a perfectly average, 5/10, you could go up to an 8/10 in my eyes. The bar is pretty low for most guys. Have boobs, a cute face, smell nice and not obese. And that last one can vary! Some guys are into that.
Can’t speak for anyone else, but for me it kind of depends on the situation. If it’s work, then I’d just have to quit my job and move across country to avoid the inevitable fallout. There’s only a handful of other places you would ever find me, the hardware store or the grocery store, possibly once a year at the home and ranch store when I’m buying my new pants for the year, and all of those are fine to approach me in. I won’t go out with you, I’m married, but you can shoot your shot and it’ll be a memory I will treasure.
As a guy who has been interested in girls and gotten rejected each time, no I will not be approaching a girl even if I’m interested. Basically I would need to be approached, or the girl would have to give me total certainty that she’s interested. Because I’m done playing the guessing games that girls play. Also I think you’ll find that girls that are not “conventionally attractive” are still quite pretty. Lot of guys will see someone who thinks they’re a 6 as a 10. It’s definitely worth approaching me.
Most the time with any women that approaches me, I’m not 100% sure if her intentions. I’m nice to everyone till you do something to lose that respect.
Eh. If some girl approached me, she should be engaging. Attractive or not.
Oh hell yes. Most guys are so timid all they can do is sit and wish for a bird to fly into their hand. But as years pass it must be most often that the wife will recall how she had to be a little forward.
This is a joke post, right?
I throw off every single vibe associated with “schlumpy boring married dad” so I would think she was out of her damn mind.
"I'm flattered, but you clearly left your glasses at home."
I'd like to say that I would keep calm and give everyone a chance but last time someone approached me I panicked and said I wasn't interrested. I would really like a second chance of that.
This literally never happens
If you're not at least a 9.5 then please don't waste my time and your time for that matter.
She also needs to be 180cm/6ft and make 100k a year
Lol maybe I'll let her buy me dinner but that's it
Never happens.
I dunno. It’s never happened.
If memory serves, screw it up somehow.
It can be flattering but I did feel unpleasantly pressured on occasion, which is something women have to deal with all the time.
I would have no trouble going on a date with an unconventionally attractive woman as long as she isn’t annoying or batshit insane/creepy.
I would share...if I could recall it ever happening. I could lay out some kind of fantasy that might be universal or at least a thing, but the reality is: just approach. I imagine that the most likely response is a probably-stuttering and stunned "hi".
i fear being called a creep so much that i would probably just respond to whatever queries you might have and ignore any possible flags to escalate. ( "invite to check out a place tgr", "somehow moving the convo to exchange contacts" ) its not fair for women but yall have to somehow really convince me that you are not just asking a question. i think there were a couple of times when someone asked me for directions. i just end up showing them how to use google map on their phone so we can end the convo asap. i am that afraid of accidentally coming on too strong
I would probably think you were fucking with me honestly.
I just respond as if they were just being nice. I’d rather lose the chance of dating a girl than be labeled a creep or loser
Happened to me twice. Both cases VERY successful for the woman. I like the initiative, in both cases the girl asked me on a date and in both cases I said yes. So I would say… go for it! The worst that can happen is a rejection. Their loss right?
I like how you say “normal girls”. That is something scientists won’t be able to figure out before they beat cancer. We all are unique. And sexy. And as an addition: Yes. It’s always worth approaching, If that’s the right thing to do in that context. You gotta read your environment. Most of my friends ask me how autistic me handle social life so well. Talking to women as a 20(M) year old ain’t that hard. It’s all about reading the surrounding circumstances. “Should you approach me or should I approach you?”
I just do what women do. If she’s ugly. I make a public scene. Call the woman a pervert harassing men. Take out my camera and record a video putting her on blast. Then sell branded merchandise. If she’s hot I ignore that I have someone who loves me while welcoming my spot on her roster and let her openly disrespect me with no sense of commitment or care for my well being while actively complaining that there are no good women to date anymore.
The only thing thats a no is obesity, other than that all women are attractive lol. I've yet to be approached by a woman in public in my life. If it happens I would be thrilled and it would certainly end in a date or another meeting of she was interested after talking
I have very few instances were a woman i had 0 attraction to approached me. But in most cases, I give the unconventional girls a chance, usually they have lots of other things to offer Im a bartender, so I get approached semi regularly
I am a guy. So any person who approaches me, I treat them with respect and dignity just like I want to be treated by anyone else. Plus just bear in mind that there is so much happening in this world that if a stranger tries to approach (depending on where you are living), people avoid talking just because they don't want to end up being in trouble. And if you happen to be in a place where "hook-ups" happen, keep in mind that both sides are looking into materialistic things. So don't try to fall to that level or let it impact your emotions. There is an old saying that a person is known by his/her company. So really if you are looking for "serious" commitment and a relationship then you better focus and invest your time with people who are on the same frequency as you are. And your observation is correct about guys in general, as guys find those girls more attractive who are out of their reach - it can beauty, status, etc etc. Because we like challenges, and we take them as a challenge to win them. So I guess I shared pretty good picture about things without breaking the "bro code". 🙂 All the best
Whenever I get approached I’m always friendly even if someone I don’t find attractive approaches, I’m still friendly And I don’t mind starting a friendship with anyone, it’s when they start crossing boundaries I clearly set things become an issue, And it goes Vice versus if you wanna be friends clearly set that boundary if you haven’t then set it the moment it gets crossed
Ive got a boyfriend
I show them my ring finger, even though I don’t wear a ring, and tell them, you should know better.
I find plenty of "average" girls attractive. Unconventionally "cute" is my jam. But it doesn't happen so it's moot. Nobody just approaches me like that.
If a girl does something like that, I am absolutely enthusiastic about testing out the relationship. It's so rare that it stands out, and since women seem to be so much more fickle about choosing partners than men, showing intent from the start is about one of the strongest positive signals I could get from a woman I know virtually nothing about.
If I’m approached I’ll respond prospectively, maybe I’ll even ask directly if you have interest in me and go from there.
Personally I’d like to be approached by any lady it show confidence and interest in the guy if she is willing to take that first step I’m already attracted.
I walk away. I don’t wanna talk almost ever and it’s too much mental effort for almost any person.
Regardless of attractiveness, I dislike the either of someone randomly approaching me to flirt. If I know that's what they're doing, I'll tell them I'm not interested.
I’d love to be approached, men are simple
As a married man I would be extremely flattered. Explain that I am married and thank her for making me feel so good. Then complement her and wish her the best.
I respond in a friendly supportive way. I look to see if any connections form. I evaluate to see if you are genuinely a good person at your core.
Honestly idk how I'd react but I'd be cautious af because I'm reserved and shy.
Depends. If all goes south, get your dick out. Otherwise, be sensible.
My go to move is to act confused and run away with anxiety.
If you make the effort to be noticed by a guy, he should start a conversation.
It is flattering but I tell them I'm married.
I just smile at a girl if I catch her looking if she reciprocates the smile then I leave it up to her if she’s comfortable with approaching me. One young woman saw my shirt and we stroke up a conversation on what it mean-it’s Kanji for Subaru. Then bam, natural conversation ensued.
I find most average women attractive tbh so I would be pretty hyped. Even if I wasn't attracted I do enjoy meeting and talking to new people so still probably happy regardless.
‘Most guys would talk to a tree if it made the first move’
Doesn't matter what she looks like, it's just flattering and a huge compliment to have a woman approach me and strike up a conversation. I never assume it's because she thinks I'm cute because I'm completely oblivious unless a woman is basically physically throwing herself at me while naked, but I'm still flattered. I figure she thinks that I seem interesting in some way, and that's a nice ego boost. I'll gladly stand there and talk to anyone, regardless of looks, just to see what happens. Maybe I'll make a new friend. Maybe I'll be horribly awkward and she'll skitter away from me like a startled deer. Who knows? Either way it's nice until I potentially fuck it up.
Women can do that?
I don't know. That doesn't happen, I'd be very suspicious and start looking for the scam or hidden camera.