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Ordovick

Imagine watching the news every day and never leaving your house or interacting with the world in any meaningful way. How would you perceive the world outside? Porn is like that but with sex and relationships.


[deleted]

Very good comparison


EndOfTheWorldGuy

Replace “the news” with YouTube and you’re describing my in-laws. Literally all day every day, no jobs. Shit is wild.


mardybumbum

I got to know from a friend who runs a cosmetic procedures business that more and more young women and girls come in looking for procedures that will make their vagina look “better”. This is either due to them or their partners having certain look expectations.


BoardGent

This I really don't understand, mostly because as far as I've seen there isn't a "standard" way for a vagina to look. Do people just pick their favorite pornstars?


AlphaBearMode

NSFW obviously: You don’t have to go far to find this out. Reddit even has r/godpussy . I imagine the sentiment is shared among porn communities online that “that” is how women should look. Not agreeing btw. Women can’t control their appearance down there just like men can’t. Edit - referring to the highly upvoted posts, or top all time.


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AlphaBearMode

Like I said, look at the top all time. Those are all pretty similar. You’re right, most posts on there get 1-300 upvotes but You’ll notice most with 1k+ aren’t as diverse


Packin_Penguin

Science, bitch!


D34THDE1TY

Well you're normal. Who's probably seen at least a few normal vaginas. Whereas in most porn they cultivate a look that is basically a line without any lips whatsoever. I'd say those people that find it off-putting when they see a real vagina compared to porn is that's all they'd seen up to that point. Maybe not so much nowadays...but in the before times of the internet outside of *raunchy* skin mags most porn mags didn't show their vagina or they were ones with the barely there kind or airbrushing. These days you see "real" women...as much as that statement holds merit.


TheHooligan95

I've seen prettier vaginas than others, but I wouldn't be able to tell you what made them prettier


super1202

And this is even worse in Asia, actually.


Possible-Collection2

What are you talking about Asian people have blurry genitals so it doesn’t matter what procedure they have. (This comment makes little sense though, how can porn affect Asian women in a way to get procedures for their genitals when most of the time the genitals are censored.)


Themanofslaughter

Blussy❤️


DiaDeLosMuertos

Blurrssy Damon Albarns original musical project if I'm not mistaken


MissStarFall

This is crazy, I just had a conversation with a group of friends (men and women) all in their 30s who didn't know vuvlas can look different. I showed them the "100 different vulvas photo" and they were so surprised. Some even made jokes about "you can tell which ones like big dicks" like. No that's not how that works. Why do people not understand that women are just as diverse as men are?


hargaslynn

I’m confused how not a single top answer includes the reality that most porn online is produced through sex trafficking and drugging performers…like wtf?


bsubtilis

Most people don't know, and probably many who have heard of it don't want to believe it is that common.


HappyTurtleButt

I was 15, drugged, made to do acts and it went underground and online. Dude went to jail, too.


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helikesart

Yep, some people would rather not think about it. They want to pretend it’s just about them, and if they aren’t getting hurt, then how could it be wrong?


dishsoapandclorox

That’s a thing?


Furt_III

Because it's not *most*. Self-made amateur probably doubled the number of porn videos ever made. Women can make like 5 digits a month on sites like onlyfans (usually not of course, but it's really easy to bring in a few hundred a month).


Milfing_Man

I remember a coworker telling me he didn't understand why his girlfriend wasn't a squirter. At that moment I knew he watched too much of the stuff


Numerous-Explorer

I distinctly remember my first partner (at 16) finally making (helping) me orgasm during sex and after he said “that’s it?”. When I questioned him, he believed every vagina squirts during orgasm…..


tattooedplant

For some delusional guys, it’s considered the end all, be all of female orgasms. If you don’t squirt, then that means there’s something wrong with you. I’ve had some partners act like that’s the best and only way to orgasm. It’s like squirters are coveted partners, and they’re determined to make you one too. I’ve done it like one time bc I had to pee really bad and it was just irrelevant to my pleasure and pretty average overall. Lmao. Also the aggressive fingering and slapping of the clit that usually occurs with it in porn just ain’t it for me. It’s actually kind of painful and turns me off. 🫠


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Chose_a_usersname

But my step sister.... She is into me right?


luke31071

No, she's just stuck there


RichiZ2

I had such an awkward moment once... I have a step-sister, we went to a family party once, and one of her aunts saw us having a beer together and came up to us and asked us if we were dating. Everyone else shut up so fast, and after informing the woman of our step-sibling situation the bitch had the audacity to say: "Oh, but that's how the most romantic stories start", we just looked at each other and gagged.


[deleted]

When the milfingman thinks you watch too much porn it’s time to listen.


Melancholnava

The fact he talked to other people about it within itself is a red flag.


liberalsoperfectxoxo

>The fact he talked to other people about it within itself is a red flag. lmao that reminds me of a joke by Dave Chapelle about voting Dave: “Hey, Bob. Uh, Bob. Who you gonna vote for?” Bob: “Dave, Dave! Whoa, whoa, whoa.... Take it easy now. Take it easy. So anyway, I was fucking my wife in her ass, right? and I mean it was something else


Eat_Carbs_OD

>Bob: “Dave, Dave! Whoa, whoa, whoa.... Take it easy now. Take it easy. So anyway, I was fucking my wife in her ass, right? and I mean it was something else I worked with a guy like this.. told me graphic details. I'm standing there listening in total disbelief.


SudoTheNym

I had a boss like this, he was a swinger and couldn't not talk about the latest orgy and how many people he fucked while he watched his wife get fucked. Totally out of the blue, like I never asked follow up questions, he just needed to let me know for some weird reason. I wonder if it was part of the kink.


Interesting-Dog-1224

He wanted you to be part of the orgy, specifically wanted you to be boned by the boss.


Eat_Carbs_OD

>specifically wanted you to be boned by the boss. Other than having to do extra work? This guys asks too damn much!


Export_Tropics

Whatever happened to "so did you catch last nights game?" Now its it's all orgies and sex dungeons. I think if I were a swinger, people I work with would be the last people I would want to tell that to.


[deleted]

You have to recruit fresh meat from somewhere.


PJpremiere

Are you sure it wasn't an unofficial invite?


Eat_Carbs_OD

Wow.. SMH


Uztta

Does he keep finding pubes on his coke cans?


tvrvrt

I'll let you be the judge of that.


PMMeYourPinkyPussy

Come on man, that’s personal


Milfing_Man

True. I remember thinking "don't tell me stories about your girlfriend, you weirdo"


[deleted]

they don’t mind cameras, like most of my onlyfans relationships /s


[deleted]

I mean, with certain friend groups, that’s totally normal. My fiancé’s best friend and that best friend’s wife told us, individually, that the best friend was worried about having sex with his (heavily pregnant) wife because he thought he would poke the baby. The wife told me and the husband told my fiancé. Kinda tmi but it wasn’t weird that they told us cuz I also was told that the wife actually tore severely the first time she slept with her husband because he was too big and how she didn’t know it could really happen like that… they both told their friends about it so


Hahafunnyreddit22

Username tho LOL


Farouqnowomarlater

Yeah I don’t care how close we’re I’m not sharing my gals business


Yngcleanbastard

Really? Nope. He just talks


S118gryghost

Depending on where you live and what year you'll be the outcast if you don't talk about it


RaveOfThongs

Or some others wondering why some woman puke when they get taste of sperm in mouth... Got into big headed argue with one dude that his wife is useless coz she doesn't swallow and pukes instead. Edit: grammar


MissMyDad_1

Useless...the word useless was used?


RaveOfThongs

Yes he did say that, that is why I got pissed in a first place. No matter sexual performance no1 is ever useless imo.


MissMyDad_1

Man, I'm glad you challenged him. I got a lot of complex thoughts about that scenario that I'm not sure how to fully process yet, but I'm glad you challenged it.


RaveOfThongs

Basically dude thinks that all sex life goes around BJs and swallowing cum, I mean when he ever mentions anything about his wife its always "doesnt suck, doesnt swallow..." or something in any way to insult her in any way. I also think that dude is porn addict...


MissMyDad_1

No, I know exactly what it means. I've been on the other end of that behavior. Destroys your self worth. I wasn't confused so much as verifying that the word choice wasn't hyperbole. Unfortunately I know many men who think women are useless. It's just a hard word for me to hear in this context and not attribute it to my own experiences or how men view women in general. Just working on my biases and trying to realize there are better people out there.


Withnail-

There is a crude, sub- human baseline where women are sexual objects and men are walking ATMs and sex is used for access to what money can buy. Both sexes can make a case for different kinds of exploitations. That’s what was great about being in my early 20s there was no game, no positioning for anything, no payday or having to be “ the one”Just two people enjoying giving pleasure to each other.


MissMyDad_1

No, I understand the generalized dynamic though I believe it is utterly fucked up. In my own life, I have been the receiver of the negative impact. I have very explicitly worked hard to never use a man for money. I don't like removing my own power that way and I do not want any person to feel used in the ways I've felt used. Thus, it hurts being used when I try to never do that to another. And I do want to make this clear, it is very possible to be used in a long-term relationship. I think there is a fine balance between living in the moment vs using and then disposing of another person.


d0mie89

Yea there was a big dude at my work who talked like that. Said his gf stopped blowin him and wont put out so he's drooling over everything that moves at work. He ended up getting fired.


dhhdhh851

And very likely had a really shitty diet/hygiene.


ThaVolt

Guy needs to have more diabetes in him.


Calm-Teach-4690

That guy is sick, and doesn’t deserve to date anyone.


626Aussie

There are some men who really should not be married to the women that they're married to, and who should maybe never be married at all...ever. I've had several coworkers (government organization, large department, with many, *many* "coworkers"), all men, who: worked well past retirement age, and when asked said they would not retire until their wife was dead, or they were; did not want to retire because they did not want to spend all day with their wife; did not want to retire because they were afraid their wife would find out how much money they were *actually* making. Apparently these men had separate bank accounts, and must have even filed their taxes individually. There was even one man who retired but came into work the following Monday and just hung out in the breakroom. This was not a uncommon occurrence, to have former coworkers come in and visit, but he did more than visit, he stayed in the breakroom all day, went to lunch with a couple of workers, then hung out in the breakroom all afternoon. It turned out he not only didn't want to spend all day with his wife but he hadn't even told her that he'd retired. He thought he could continue to come into work every day and just hang out in the breakroom. He actually did do that for a couple of days, and would have continued until one of the managers caught wind of what he was doing. They told him to go home, and that if he came back the next day security would be called. According to someone who knew him the next morning he got dressed for "work" then drove to a local bar, waited for them to open, and stayed there all day until it was time go home, and he continued to do that for some time. I never heard how his "story" ended but I can't imagine it ended well. All because he did not want to spend all day with his wife, and did not want to constantly have a "Honey Do" list.


idkystuff

Men are scared to taste themselves because the truth is a hard pill to swallow.


Pure-Ad2609

My gf will literally wait for me to finish jerking off to swallow my cum. Freaks me out.


Rise-Upset

Maybe she watched too much porn


Choosemyusername

Sounds more like she likes cum.


[deleted]

or wants to get pregnant and didn’t pay attention in biology class PS: This joke inspired by people who think you can get pregnant from sitting fully dressed on someone's lap.


Ladybug1388

Yep when a guy eats right and has good hygiene it makes a huge difference.


HINDBRAIN

Or perhaps just enough, depending on the boyfriend's tastes?


RaveOfThongs

Well, every woman is different and this made me smile. I get why it freaks you out tho, I do.


Dalecantila

But wouldn’t that be nice? I have no idea, I’m a woman


CresciMasQueroMamar

I personally would like every once in a while


rollingrock23

As a dude, it can be sexy if a woman swallows after a BJ since it is an intimate, shared experience. This guy describes it like she is using his jizz as a protein supplement. There is no build up on her side, she is just popping in at the end to get her fix. I think that is what makes it kind of freaky.


WhereIsMyHat

Maybe because masturbating is a private/solo thing, and is a completely different act than sex so the merging of the two might be jarring? idk, just spitballing


Dalecantila

Spitballing. Pun intended


Doublestack00

His cum could tasty nasty from his diet.


Choosemyusername

Out of all the women I have slept with, not a single one has puked from semen.


StrongTxWoman

It depends on the guy. One of my ex had nasty cum. Bitter like his personality.


[deleted]

Pineapple pineapple pineapple. Watermelon also helps supposedly.


RaveOfThongs

I saw someone mentioned that caffeine makes it taste bad, that can explain the wifes reaction. He only drink coffee, well atleats I never saw him drink anything else.


princesshaley2010

Beer is worse. I had a boyfriend whose entire diet was beer. It was horrible (the relationship too, obviously it didn’t last).


UnitGhidorah

My roommate in college had a girl that squirt. She did a lot and he had to get rid of his mattress.


[deleted]

Squirting is just piss imo.


gortonsfiJr

Wut? You don't think people have always had misconceptions about what normal sex is?


[deleted]

My best friend fucked a girl who was a squirter once and the bitch gave him chlamydia lmfao. He ended up burning that mattress.


Milfing_Man

It's really the only thing to do with a mattress that filthy


ShreddedDonut38

I worry mostly about unrealistic expectations. If you look at the average age for the first time of actual sex, it is usually in the late teens. But if you compare that with the average age where people begin developing sexual interests and start masturbating, that is in the EARLY teens. So during the most impressionable time of their life, they frequently consume unrealistic sex scenes for roughly FIVE YEARS before getting to the real thing. This might lead to lots of misunderstanding and heartache at best, and dysfunction and violence at worst.


NoOutlandishness4363

It also makes you get used to seeing different persons everytime so if you are with one actual person it will get boring quicker. This and the uncoupling of sexual activities and love directed to one person makes it harder for people to be in a (long lasting) relationship which leads to more cheating and single mothers. So it's not only bad for the individuals but disasterous considering the whole community aswell.


boyfricker420

Bruh did you just dissect my open relationship 😳


Choosemyusername

No. Promiscuity is as old as time. It predates porn. It used to be worse.


N0Z4A2

Interesting I tend to watch the same people over and over again


Choosemyusername

Cheating was an even bigger thing before porn. In fact, they didn’t really even consider it cheating back then.


succed32

Entirely depends on culture and who was doing the cheating.


Choosemyusername

Yup. Which kind of suggests that porn isn’t the issue.


succed32

Yup. It totally is not. People are just jerks to each other and would rather chase personal desire over commitment. It is very far from new.


rgdnetto

This is good take. I'd add that modern porn is particularly bad in this regard. Until a while ago, let's say 20 to 25 years ago, most porn was basically staged sex in front of a camera. Nowadays, it is completely detached from reality in any possible sense. I won't bother going into detail here, but it has taken all (If any) sensuality out of it and turned into aggressive, violent acting, clearly unnatural, unpleasant and humiliating, especially for the women.


spyker54

It's damaging in really three ways: - it can give guys (and girls) incorrect sexual information; not all girls can squirt, not all guys can cum gallons, etc. - it can desensitize you mentally and physically. - it can affect your body image. girls might think they're not sexy without a skinny waist, toned belly, and big boobs; or guys might feel inadequate not having chiseled abs, olympic stamina, and an +8" cock


strwbrybby

you're forgetting a big one: it can also exploit the people being filmed, like the young, sex trafficked, and/or drug addicted.


[deleted]

Also the sheer amount of sexism and racism and other -isms it promotes. Women being hit, choked, "pretend" rape scenarios, tons of fetishizing Asian women and Latino women and Black men


BearsDoNOTExist

I'd add to this that the industry is among the most toxic and harmful out there, although it is improving a lot.


V_M

Escapism, addiction... Its the stereotype of low quality industrial product. If you can't make good quality media, just ship something addictive instead and thats good enough.


1kiarash1

Well drawing a line between "good quality" and simply "addictive" media can be hard sometimes, what is good exactly? Something that makes you feel good? Or it is something that is good for you? Don't mind me just a bit confused


jcdoe

I’m not convinced porn is anymore addicting than high fructose corn syrup. Talking about physiological dependence, here. Psychologically, anything pleasurable could be habit forming I’d imagine. I really wish we had different language for peoples’ “drug of choice” because of this; for many (maybe most), their drug of choice isn’t a drug at all. Maybe they’re hooked on Starbucks, or cookies, or video games, or watching football. But echoing what other people have said, I think porn is dangerous because so much is consumed by minors who do not know that they are watching a fantasy and not the real thing. And some adults watch too much porn and experience sexual dysfunction as a result. Remember to take care of your mental health, everyone. Its too easy to dismiss someone watching porn all day as an “addict,” when they probably need more comprehensive mental health services.


Stabbmaster

It facilitates unrealistic expectations and (like with other media and news) promotes fantasy as reality.


Darwin_Things

Yea, like when you’re in a long term relationship porn sets the expectations that you still have sex. It’s disgusting.


[deleted]

lol /r/deadbedroom


Darwin_Things

LOL I was joking but of course there is a subreddit for that.


blocky_jabberwocky

It can be desensitising. But just need to keep an eye on it and cut back if it becomes an issue for us, same as anything we use for a quick dopamine hit


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Fit_Yogurt420

this one. this is the one that hit me. when i was younger id do stuff that i would see in porn cuz i knew guys watched it and liked it. later i realized i should be enjoying it too. took longer to realize that than it should have. i thought if i didn’t do it just right or look right or swallow or something i wasn’t good enough and that’s not true. do what makes you happy rough, messy, what have you but the comparisons happen when it’s the production stuff that’s literally acting, not couples with cameras


[deleted]

The large cocks, most likely.


bigslikk

Oh man this is the damage done to one of my girl that’s a a friend that is really into porn….. she doesn’t understand why all guys don’t have 10 inch pps 🤦🏻‍♂️


Own-War2726

Yikes- 10 inches of penis would be awful.


shushrando

I try to tell my boyfriend this and he thinks i’m lying… like no bro that would hurt so ungodly bad i’m really good on all that 😂😭


No-Dream7615

impractically huge dicks are like rolexes - men want them to impress other men, not women,


mangoalgo

Seriously. Grab a piece of 8.5x11. That's an 11" weiner. It is huge. And an 8.5 for reference.


vvomann_exe

That plus the fact that these poor girls are getting jackhammered by them, and pretending to find it enjoyable 😵😵😵 I would pass away


wienercat

Nothing like a bruised cervix to really get you in the mood for round 2 right?


[deleted]

Who doesn’t want to be bent over hugging their uterus


[deleted]

Ugh that pain is so real. After it happened to me I was curled in the fetal position with my heating pad for like 20 minutes afterwards.


[deleted]

I remember years ago sleeping with a guy with a huge, long, girthy penis. It hurt like hell. And I bled too. It hurt to sit down for a few days and I couldn’t walk properly. I do not recommend


Mya__

It 100% depends on the person. I think it's best to think of it more like different people have different preferences. Some of that preference depends on our own physical bodies and what fits best.


[deleted]

Little fact no one ever talks about, most porn stars are freaking tiny, I am friends with one and have met 100's, the majority of them are rather small women and would make a normal dick look big. Just go to the AVN expo, most porn stars are like 5 foot nothing, a normal 5-6 inch dick will look massive compared to a tiny woman. Plus, camera adds 10 pounds!!!!!! /s


TheGillos

The Ariana Grande / Pete Davidson effect.


bixxby

I haven't seen that movie yet


TheGillos

I'm referencing Ariana Grande saying Pete had a big dick, which Pete addressed in his standup special, basically saying it looks big because Grande is poca.


fsmlogic

That's a lot of extra weight to add to a dick.


finemustard

I've heard that not only are the women small, but many of the men are small too but with larger than average penises which makes a very respectable 7"er look ungodly huge.


[deleted]

I barely recall meeting any male performers, go figure, lol. But I met liek Kenzie Reeves and Lulu Chu (they are like 4'10" maybe). I am 5'7" and towered over both of them. That's how small some of these girls are. I'm a smaller man and even I look pretty big standing next to them. I'm telling ya (people), go to an expo, it will completely change your opinion on the whole massive dick thing without even seeing a dick. There were plenty of normal height girls, like 5'3" and even taller, but really felt like half of the known stars were pretty petite. I have never felt bigger and taller in my life than at an AVN expo, lol EDIT: yes, I know too much about porn stars, odd perk having a semi-popular one as a friend. Fights and porn though, why I love Vegas!


retrogamereclaim

Absolutely just cracked a proper laugh at your comment, up vote for you my friend!


pay-this-fool

Because porn isn’t always what you see. Not everyone involved necessarily wants to be doing what you are seeing. Porn is a shady industry where girls are regularly lied to and locked into contracts they don’t understand. There are times when they are told a scene will be with a single guy and it quickly becomes many. Or they are told it’s straight vaginal and becomes anal etc. and of course it’s hard for a porn star to cry abuse or rape. Girls are sometimes trafficked into it as well. And Because of this many people feel guilty that they know this to be true, but still consume despite knowing it. Then there is the fact that the entire premise is concocted. Which is fine if you know and understand that. A big problem is that kids often view porn long before they have a single real sexual encounter so they think that’s how sex really happens. Kids now think sex happens when a guy shows up at a girls house, she takes down his pants, gives him head, he (and maybe a few other guys) then does whatever he wants to her, and when he says, she drops to her knees to receive a facial. I can tell you from having 2 boys and hearing conversations, they believe this is how it goes. They honestly believe this nonsense (girls too) until we really spoke about it (which had to happen way younger than it should have had to) so I could explain that what they are seeing is bullshit. Sure the part go inside the the other parts, but otherwise it’s not real. Porn is filled with amazing looking women and big dick, faceless men that have become the standard. Porn is now so prevalent that it’s actually changing the standard. In both appearance and what’s acceptable behavior. And lastly porn has gotten so extreme that weird, deviant behaviors are the norm. It seems to be easier to find something odd or extreme, or what would have been completely unacceptable just a few years ago, then it is to find normal guy on girl action where they both seem to be respecting and enjoying one another. Honestly I barely watch any, but I’d be far more likely to if there wasn’t sick shit that doesn’t even qualify as sexual out there. I know I can search for what I like and only watch it. But the whole world of porn has gotten to be such that I’m pretty much turned off to it completely.


helikesart

Excellent post and this should be at the top. Just to comment on the “faceless men” issue. I have a close friend who this really affected him. We’ve both struggled with porn and tried to help keep one another accountable but what was so incredibly horrifying was how that part had affected his psyche. He had spent years consuming porn where your presence as a man is minimized and made entirely about the role of the woman. So when he got married a couple years back and had performance issues of all kinds it’s because in his brain he literally didn’t have any part to play in a sexual relationship. It was like his brain was telling him that he wasn’t even supposed to be there and his wife was just going to have to figure things out on his own. Thank goodness she’s a patient woman but they’ve really had to struggle with helping him find an active and healthy role being sexually intimate. Porn is terrible.


Spiritual_Reward_848

I suffered from an unhealthy attachment to pornography for almost 10 years, managed to be sober for a year and now am currently in a relapse that I am making improvements in. I never felt good about it but life with and without it is night and day. When I was able to step away from it, I started to realize just how damaging it actually is. You and so many others have highlighted the issues with it especially how it can impact younger people. But I'm kinda surprised how little has actually been said on just how violent and extreme it is. Its always been that way but I swear its gotten SO much worse in the last few years. If you go to any front page you will see videos with titles promoting pedophilia (teen), incestuous (step-family member), violence (tearing, destroying, rips,etc.) or sexist (slut, whore, etc.) content to name a few. Thats not even mentioning how most interacial or non-white participants are subjected to racist undertones. These aren't just fantasy topics this is THE trend. These are promoted. I know of at least one studio that used to promote more "tame" content that now heavily produces the above listed. Sure people could tailor their searches and choose videos that dont have these in the titles, but once you start to actually view the videos conciously, you will see acts that promote violence( choking, slapping, or pushing the girls body in ways that you know are painful). The pleasure is an act, the pain is real. I don't judge people that watch it as that is the pot calling the kettle black but I think its important to start calling it what it is.


pay-this-fool

I agree with this 100% I actually did mention the violent shit. What bugs me is not just that people want to see the extreme shit, but that they so much cater to those people. Call it a kink and somehow it automatically makes it ok. Like you said: father daughter, step mom and step son, rape fantasy, super young looking girls etc…. Kids can see it just as easily as an adult. When your 11 year old asks you why men choke women what will the answer be? (this actually happened). You can either say it’s because women like it even tho it looks like they don’t. Or they don’t like it. Or you can say it’s because people want to see it. What message does that send a kid? That it’s ok to do something to a woman just because someone wants to see it? Or that it’s ok even if she doesn’t like it? Or if she does like it that it’s ok to choke women? I mean it’s hard for intelligent adults to make sense of. What’s a kids understanding of it all. I saw an interview with a porn producer. They questioned how he could, in good conscience produce the super abusive stuff he does. He said he’s providing a service. Men want to see women get abused, so he’s just giving them what they want. Strictly business. Supply and demand. He had zero conscience about who it reaches and how it affects them. And what message it sends. It really seems to be about extreme shocking imagery. When did that become arousing? It’s because it’s arousing to the senses, but not necessarily sexually arousing. Sort of like a fight would be. You see a crazy thumbnail and think “what the hell is that”. Then you click. And that click gets counted. It seems anything that something someone might do with a body part exposed, or something a weirdo person watching might get off to is considered porn. There is so much stuff that’s not even sexual that’s just one wrong click away from something normal. And it’s found on a porn site. I was searching mundane stuff and I saw a weird thumbnail so I clicked it. It was a guy who lays down on his back and women take turns shitting in his mouth. Then they stuff it into his throat forcing him to swallow it. Then the next woman goes. Is that even porn? It’s not sexual. But some person might think its somehow arousing. More likely it’s got that “train wreck” effect. Either way it’s gets clicks. And finally (long reply, I know. I’m sorry for that) my last concern it that what you see is real. It’s not fake, Tom Cruise mission impossible CGI. The chick is really getting choked, gagged, slapped, she’s really being pissed on. Spit on, jizzed on and in. Really swallowing some strange guys loads. Sure the scenario is fake, but the action is real. So even tho its contrived is it real? I suppose it is. It’s sheer prevalence suggests we are ok with it all. If it wasn’t ok it wouldn’t be literally everywhere would it? Who knows. There are arguments on both sides of the issue but I can tell you this: if you had to make a porn pros and cons list the list of cons would be far longer than the list of pros.


Spiritual_Reward_848

Don't worry about a long reply. Theres a lot to break down because of how messed up the reality is. I couldn't imagine trying to explain this all to a child and honestly its hard enough with adults. Kids don't understand but a lot of adults want to continue to be ignorant so they can continue enjoying it or the reality is just so grim they don't really want to think about it. Everything you stated is so true plus the sheer amount of sex trafficking involved is disgusting. I saw an interview from a girl who was prostituted by her parents as a child to grown men until she was eventually sold to someone who forced her to produce pornography. I can't do her story justice. It sounded like a nightmare. That interview also heavily pushed me away from anything labeled amatuer. Like theres no way of knowing if the person in the video is being trafficked, abused, coerced or simply lied to. Like if the camera is at a distant or obscure angle, theres nothing saying that one of the participants, or both, don't know they are being filmed. Hidden face? Could be to hide their identity out of embarassment or they could be a victim of traficking and someone wants to hide it. Amateur porn is just a couple people having fun? Are we sure about that? Is one of them being coerced? Do they know the video/photos will be published online? Are they repeating the same violent acts and damaging scenarios we've laid out before? There is no way of knowing. These things just scream red flags to me and its scary how much of it there is. I've also listened to other ex-performer interviews and they talked a lot about being coerced to do things or how they would state how they didn't want to be with a certain actor or do a certain act only to show up to a shoot and have that actor or act pushed on them. Not to mention the amount of drug abuse performers put themselves through to get through the shoot or their own life. Finally, I don't think the sheer amount of it means we are okay with it. I think it means most people aren't ready to have that dark conversation about it and start to see it for what it is. Maybe its because of the push to avoid kink shaming or people don't want to seem like prudes or some people feel its pushing religious values onto people. Idk. But I do know that when you learn the reality of it, you can never see it the same way again. If you completed my long reply, thank you for taking the time to listen to my thoughts.


Throwaway6272848

First, when you learn something new your brain makes a physical connection so that the next time you do it, it will be easier to achieve. When you doing again that connection get stronger and stronger. Achieving orgasm with porn you are teaching your brain how to achieve orgasm, which is very rewarding, but by simply watching others have sex and you self pleasure with your hand. (Or toy) This will affect you in the bedroom, weaker erection, no erections or even trouble ejaculating. Second, large amount of dopamine is released in your brain when you watch porn. Again your brain is being wired to high levels of dopamine, so porn gets less exciting and you need new material to get the same arousal you used to get seeing a girl fully clothed. This leads to fetishes that often require a extra level to achieve same arousal. Things like fear, high adrenaline are associated with higher arousal. Edit: wow thanks for the awards! Guys I am not saying you will turn blind if you watch porn, but it does affect you, when I have time I’ll post an article. Every experience you have in life changes your brain, that’s why trauma is always there, once you learn a new skill you don’t know how you couldn’t do it before etc.


DanPluto

id give you gold but im not buoyant


Throwaway6272848

It’s the thought that counts.


Shy_starkitten

Not to mention that there is research that shows that viewing pornography helps the sex trafficking industry of children, women & men. If forgot where I watched it but an ex porn star was talking about how a lot of the time what happened was not consensual but forced and they’d edit it afterwards in a way that would make the viewer think that it was all consensual etc. So basically people who watch pornography are not only helping the industry of sex trafficking but also watching and getting off to people who are being forced and coerced into various sex acts.


Redqueenhypo

You don’t even need scientific research, pornhub was perfectly happy to host those GirlDoPorn extortion/rape videos until actual convictions came about. And then you get the drooling idiots on Reddit saying “damn, I knew something was off in those vids, still hot” before they go right back to whacking it to the exact same website.


Basketballjuice

it's like alcohol. It's not damaging on its own - in fact in small quantities it can be helpful, but it can easily become a problem if you're not careful.


[deleted]

>in fact in small quantities it can be helpful are you talking about porn or masturbation?


Basketballjuice

Ah shit Meat beating


ThaVolt

> are you talking about porn or masturbation? Goes... hand in hand... right?


Ohighnoon

Well the positives aren’t from the porn it’s from the masturbation. The form which we consume porn isn’t positive it just happens to be the most available and most addictive/stimulating. I imagine if porn stuck to pictures and such it would be much less of a problem if any.


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homonculus_prime

I think there is a distinction that needs to be made between a 'compulsion' and an 'addiction.' As you pointed out, things like alcohol and heroin are addictive. The brain becomes chemically dependent and resistant to them and thus you need more and more to achieve the same high. Things like porn, masturbation and video games are most accurately described as compulsions. While addiction and compulsion do sorta hold hands in some ways, they are not the same and are not treated the same by mental health professionals.


drew1928

There have been many studies within the last decade that have shown frequent use of pornography completely cripples the bodies natural ability to respond to dopamine. Also if you look at people who follow a “normal” curve starting at introduction to porn and leading to porn addiction you will watch them find more aggressive or trigger happy porn continually until they reach a point of having severe porn induced ED. It reaches a point where anything even slightly ‘vanilla’ won’t get the job done so too speak. I’m not trying to dismiss your own struggles with alcoholism, but the most damaging thing about porn addiction is how grossly misunderstood it is.


downsouthcountry

My theory (I am no psychologist) is that it mentally separates sex from emotional intimacy, and that has a destructive impact on real romantic relationships.


[deleted]

Have you seen lesbian pornography online? You thought straight porn was fake--holy shit. I'm a lesbian and I've never had something turn me off faster. Just a bunch of women yelling for no reason and giving themselves rug burn on their vulvas???? Not only is it completely unrealistic, but it borders on violent at times.


Vendetta218

To put things in to perspective. In around 5 minutes, I can witness more nudity and pure filth than the average man throughout history would’ve ever seen in his entire life… imagine what that does to one’s psyche.


gingerbakerisgod

The question itself is faulty. Let me try: Why is porn so damaging for some? Answer: because some personality types struggle with excessive behavior wether its porn, food, gaming, gambling, etc Ps i am aware that 'for some" will trigger peeps into thinking "foursome" I hope the irony is not lost on you


BigSlice9566

I think it also creates an unrealistic mindset of what real life sex is like, particularly in men. The same kind of thing I think is prevalent in romance books for women about relationships.


ColdHardPocketChange

I like that you've referenced romance books for women as it is very analogous. In romance books, men are most often the one performing all of the grand romantic gestures or making significant compromises, and the main character woman is the recipient of those things.


BigSlice9566

My mother has consumed Harelquins for decades and complained how my step-dad was not "romantic". They have a lot of other issues too, but she was/is off on la la land. Also movies like that idiotic "The Notebook"


[deleted]

This is a very smart analogy. I think young men get stupid ideas about women and sex from porn, for sure. I was exposed to porn very young but I never had any delusions about the crazy shit I hear younger dudes saying. The idea that I want to literally faux choke my wife with my cock so far down her throat she literally has to hold her breath or suppress her gag reflex is literally repugnant to me. I can’t imagine ever wanting to do anything like that to anyone. It’s supposed to be sensual and intimate, not some fucked up rapey thing.


Tupiekit

I saw a really interesting comment about that. When you have zero experience with sex porn kinda becomes your baseline. I hate to do the whole “back in the day” but back in the day when I was younger hardcore porn was kinda hard to get, double so for the more extreme niche shit. Finding something like “two girls one cup” was kinda hard. Now when you go on pornhub the hard core stuff is front page. When your baseline exposure to porn is a video titled “my stepdad fucks me hard. I tell him no but he keeps going I loved it” that kinda warps sex for you. Just go to any female centric subreddit and the stories women tell of men having really bad expectations is very illuminating.


InsertDisc11

And besides that it can also create a false image of what having sex is like. I guess thats more important to younger folk, who havent had sex yet etc


blac_sheep90

Porn was hard to come by pre-internet age. Finding it took effort. Now kids have extremely easy access to some hardcore porn that warps their opinion on what sex actually is like.


brown_gentleman

When you start comparing yourself with professionals who do it for 30mins straight every time.


Clydosphere

And you can't eben be sure about that as long as it's not one continuous take without any cuts.


Ratakoa

It can warp people's perception of sexual relations among other things.


[deleted]

Particularly sex positions. The positions you see in porn are because they are optimized to be viewed and experienced by an observer, not a participant. Many popular porn positions are not actually great for how women achieve climax. Which, sucks for us when the guy starts replicating them.


No-Ad-2624

objectification and unrealistic expectations for men and women


just_one_hug_

My boyfriend hasn’t fucked me in about 2 1/2 years. He can’t keep up IRL because his porn fantasy has clogged his brain. Men can’t go backwards sexually. He probably has the perfect concoction of porn he needs in order to ejaculate. He’s completely desensitised when it comes to emotions too. You start recognising the addict behaviour like not wanting to stay out so much. He genuinely likes browsing porn and looking all day everyday. He’s a functioning addict which makes it that much worse because it doesn’t affect him. Only the ppl around scratch their heads wondering, “Hmm there’s something off about him but I don’t know what.” Working from home has made it worse too. He’s constantly on his phone browsing and on chaturbate. I don’t even want to know what his dialogue with the girls are since he clams up when I try to throw sexual advances whether that’s words or action. Im not against porn and I always thought it was sexy fun healthy gateway to stop the taboo. I love talking about sex and pretty comfortable with my own sexuality. He gets uncomfortable about any sex related topic. Tries to deceive me by saying sex isn’t his priority. I believed him but now as of recently I learned about Porn Addiction and put it all together. I didn’t even have to confront him. If we had a sex life, I wouldn’t have even imagined what all this was. Watching porn is ok but just realise that it can be addictive like a drug. When I look into my man’s eyes, he’s not there. Reminds me of a drug addict I used to know who used to stand in front of my neighbourhood 7/11. Oh and it took me over 3 years to figure this out so yeah, I’m going through the most challenging relationship in my prime years when I should be dating someone who has substance. Pun gladly intended. Update: Had a real sit down and talked. He’s just not sexually attracted to me guys. It’s ok. I can finally be in peace now. I don’t have to worry about my hair and makeup. Ugh the clothes and trying to look good all the time. I can breathe now.


tedz555

Seems like you need a new boyfriend


ConsequenceJust8511

*plays thank you,next*


tcatt1212

Please leave him. You will never be able to connect with a man like this.


thingsthatgomoo

Damn well I hope your boyfriend gets help because that sounds ridiculously unhealthy. I'm hoping you are exaggerating but this sounds like the relationship isn't alive. I watch porn with my SO and we have never had a problem although we don't watch porn all the time and I get pretty bored of porn unless she is into watching it together.


just_one_hug_

He’s a functioning addict so I’m sure it’ll be hard for him to change. That’s really his choice and I can’t ask him to do that. After all, it is his problem, but I want to be there to help him. I really wish this is the exaggerated version but unfortunately it’s just a window into this situation. In the beginning of the relationship I encouraged us to watch porn and have sex but he couldn’t juggle the porn and me. He looked extremely uncomfortable but I gave it a couple more goes before just accepting the dead bedroom. I don’t think he can be invested sexually with me ever. He’s never had relationships with girlfriends but just dated. I think the newness can get him to perform but he can’t keep going after a few times. We probably had sex 6 times. He might just be a fuck boy but he says he wants to be in this relationship. Every month I ask him if he’s happy and does he wish to continue, he says yes. Maybe he’s just on autopilot. I have no idea anymore


PGLBK

Stop wasting your life on that loser. You deserve so much more, including sex. You can’t fix an addict!


OrangeBoi22

Girl, dump this pornsick coomer and go find someone who hasn’t broken their dick and their mind.


jstdoyou

I’m sorry you’re going through that. How did you realise he was addicted to porn? And was he uncomfortable talking about sex because he was hiding this?


just_one_hug_

I honestly think he used porn early on as a soothing mechanism. I’m sure he has his reasons too. The dead giveaway is the fact that he’s uncomfortable with anything sex related (even conversations) that I can see him get clammy because he knows porn is affecting him differently. He has that panicky look as if he got caught with murder. It really isn’t one thing that made me sure but the result of trying to get to know him for over 3 years. I always knew he was shady with his phone activities since he always swipes up to switch screens. If I go little close to his living room sofa, he does this thing where he’ll make sure his phone is visible to me with an Espn page on it. It’s funny how he tries so hard to show me what he’s up to when I know what’s up. I’ve never shamed him for porn and I’m really honest to the point where I can talk about anything. I’m sad that he can’t talk to me about his problems. I hope your viewers gain some knowledge on this subject.


[deleted]

It's been very damaging to men and boys. It was taboo for a reason, now it's readily available and in alarming quantity and gravity that young boys don't know the time tested methods of being able to develop a crush on a girl and establish a relationship


Slightly-Mikey

PIED is a real thing. I stopped watching porn and have had no issues performig since.


AddictedToMosh161

Just don't over do it.


External_Juice_8717

Because as hard as it is to realize it’s a huge sex trafficking industry, women are exploited, as well as children and men. Even when people look like they are willingly making porn you never know what’s going on behind the scenes. As well as unrealistic expectations.


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pay-this-fool

So true. You’ll get down voted because it reminds porn users that they are ignoring these facts. But that doesn’t make it less true.


CapG_13

The only reason why I think it would be damaging is because it gives people the misconception that that's how sex is IRL and because it sets a high standard of what some guys think that girls should look like. (Oh and it can give you "the cramped hand").


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dradelbagel

Because it's completely unrealistic. I swear I have about 30 minutes of foreplay with my girlfriend before any penetration happens. But in porn they just kiss for 10 seconds and go straight to it. Or the violent seeming nature of a lot of the videos


JustMe518

Honestly? It creates unrealistic expectations for the consumer. My ex is OBSESSED with his penis size. I mean, obsessed. His sun rises and sets on his d\*ck. He is convinced that it is small. It isn't. (why else would I have put up with his bullshit for 8 years) He is convinced of this because of porn. He is also convinced ALL women should be a size zero, shaved everywhere, and yeah, its a lot. It is damaging in so many ways.


Knightmare560

Honestly, I hate how men are always using it as a direct reference for reality. Like…that’s how how it works, Bruh.


ATSOAS87

I haven't a clue. I'm a late bloomer so I guess that helped manage myself. I always saw porn as a joke and over the top though. I think I watched my first porn when I was about 14. There were a few of us at a mate's house and we were laughing and joking about it. The scenarios seemed silly. The entire premise seemed crazy. And silly. I just instinctively knew women didn't act like that in the bedroom.


OddlyFirst

It influences everything. Frequently causes male entitlement to unrealistic body standards, sexual performance, and violence. It also is creating EARLY erectile dysfunction in men now….. My life as a woman has been traumatically effected by the situations caused by porn, and I’m definitely not alone. I’ll give it to you straight: men that don’t watch porn (haven’t watched in a long time) are noticeably better in bed than the ones that do.


[deleted]

It’s particularly damaging because you don’t even know you’re hurting yourself… “Oh I’ll just watch this video of a girl getting choked. I mean, I know it’s fake, and they’re paid actors. So I won’t be effected by it…” And then after 5 years of watching girls get choked out or whatever you watch, suddenly you’re finding it hard to get or stay hard. Most people don’t want to be choked out. Don’t want to be treated like a fuck doll. Dont want to be talked down to. So when you go from a constant feed of exactly that to getting with someone in real life…no bueno.


RatDontPanic

> And then after 5 years of watching girls get choked out or whatever you watch I can't *stand* that kind of porn and there was a poll about that here and a lot of other men expressed that they hated it, too.


DivineLunchMonkey

Sometimes my dad "jokes" about buttplugs, DVDA, fisting, boofing, etc., BEFORE LUNCH. We live in the dark timeline.


[deleted]

The question is to whom? To the actresses getting mostly exploited (I don't mean that high budget stuff)? Yes. To the actresses who don't earn really much because they get paid once and their stuff is pirated soon after release? Yes. To young children who get socialized with social and sexual practices that only work in the movies well but are otherwise are hurtful if untrained? Yes. To some men who jerk off too much and try to blame it on society? Not really. As this [article](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201509/your-belief-in-porn-addiction-makes-things-worse) states, from a real researcher not some dudes from the internet, there is no scientific evidence that porn is damaging to the viewer. Here is an abstract: >In January 2015, Joshua Grubbs of Case Western, published powerful research showing that seeing oneself as a porn addict was predicted not by how much porn one views, but by the degree of religiosity and moral attitudes towards sex. Now, Grubbs has published explosive follow-up research, demonstrating that believing oneself is addicted to porn actually causes pain and psychological problems, in contrast to the idea that identifying as a porn addict is a part of a road to recovery.


pennywhistlesolo

I was sadly not surprised that I had to scroll this far down to see acknowledgment of porn actresses and the neg impact it can have on them. Like if we are so concerned about how it damages us, imagine how damaging it is to the actual participants. (You don't have to imagine tho. There are plenty of articles about it.)


Brawn1966

It kills your libido. Your dopamine in your brain goes bonkers and after awhile your sex drive diminishes when you have a live partner. Erectile dysfunction happens because you aren't that excited when you have live sex with someone. When you fast porn your sex drive returns and when you are with a live partner it's more enjoyable. Erectile Dysfunction goes away too.


AdeptnessLiving1799

Unrealistic expectations, to sum it up.