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A man I dearly loved died that way. I was devastated when I heard. Although logically I knew that he was lucky to go that way, it took a while before I felt it, too.
Yup. My mum was 86, had been starting to get some pain and difficulty managing on her own. Didn’t wake up one morning. Miss her a lot but relieved she went quietly and comfortably before we had to deal with any of the home help or senior homes discussions.
My Gramma was 102. Time was very near, and we knew it. After dinner with the family and friends, Mom brought her back to her room and we all gathered there. Gramma always loved hosting parties. We hadn't let her drink for quite a while - not good for her - but hell, she'd completely blown off prohibition, and what was prohibiting a nightcap going to do, give her another 2 days? We turned on some Big Band music, brought out the good wine and some bubbly, and chatted and danced and laughed while Gramma presided over it all from her bed like the matriarch she was. We told stories and jokes and held her hands while dancing and she LAUGHED and laughed. As the party died down, in the wee hours of the morning like she used to do it, and the guests wandered off to their rooms or back to their hotels, and we gathered the glasses and plates while mom wiped Gramma's makeup off, Gramma said "My, what a LOVELY party!"
Those were her last words.
Mom crawled into bed next to her mom, and Gramma went to sleep. And that was that.
It *was* a lovely party.
So was her funeral. My son, 14 at the time, said "WE put the FUN in Funeral!" She'd have loved it.
Fascinating woman. Adventurer. Hopped a freight to China in the 30s. Told she wasn't allowed off the boat when they got there, so promptly ran off to the interior with the son of the ship's captain. Came back with China and lace and such. As a little girl - like age 4 - I remember her chastising me for using the cheap plastic toys for a tea party. No, no, do it right or don't bother - and she fetched the good china. She traveled to Morocco and Tunisia in the 30s, too - and we have video!! One of her friends had a new-fangled contraption that took motion video. Her college class took a trip to Europe, and when people went home, Gramma ran off with some "nice boy who had a WONDERFUL little red convertible" and drove all over the rest of Europe before coming home and later meeting Grampa who was an adventurer himself. She had a great life, and a great death.
I recorded a lot of her stories. That's actually one of my Retirement Activities I decided on years ago. 🤣
She lived in central California. When she was 88, her doctor took her off her sleeping pills. She wanted them, but nope, no-go. Not good for her. So, at almost 90 years old, she hopped in the back of a pickup truck and rode down to Tijuana. Got 'em there, brought them back up. Yes, my Gramma smuggled pills across the border.
Next appointment, Doc asked how she was doing without the pills. She said she was doing fine *with* the pills, no thanks to him, and told him the story. 🤣 He was thrilled. Thought it was hysterical. He told everyone that story, and said he decided it was probably safer if he just kept prescribing them. He and his family became great family friends, we have them over for dinner every week, attend each other'skids' graduations, etc. He took care of Dad when he got sick, too.
There's tons more. Maybe tomorrow night I'll tell you about the macaws she and grampa brought back from their trip up the Amazon in canoes with some tribesmen they met at a mercado 😉😁❤️
It's hard to live up to them. HUGE shoes to fill.
Reading this made me teary-eyed! I absolutely love that she lived life on her terms and had a blast doing it - life is an adventure. Your grandma is my role model!
Something fast.
My mom got sick, went to hospital, fell into a coma, died a few days later.
My dad got sick, went to the hospital, got sent home, never recovered, and spent 19 years dying a slow miserable death while his mind and body betrayed him.
No way in hell I want to go through anything even remotely like my dad went through. Not only was it a miserable existence, he had to be taken care of for 19 years. I don’t want to go through that, and I don’t want anyone to have to care for me for so long.
My father also degraded over years and years. My grandfather had a much better death. My grandmother died, and three weeks later Grandpa slumped over while watching TV. He had an aneurysm. Dead when the ambulance got there.
I'm in my early 70s and when I'm in my late 90s I want to make a great meal for my extended family, sit and talk and laugh with them while everyone eats, go to bed and then not wake up.
Whatever it is, I want it to be quick and painless. I've seen too many family members whither away while losing their mental faculties and forced to go through the indignity of bathroom problems. I don't want to be laying in some bed, getting my diapers changed, and just watching the clock tick away every day.
In my silly youth, I used to think I wanted to go out with a bang, like get eaten by a shark since I used to scuba dive a lot. Now in my 60s, I hope to someday just fall asleep and never wake up.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car....
All jokes aside, dying in my sleep would be ideal.
I think a good death is one with dignity. One where peace has been made with the end of your life and you go peacefully into the unknown.
That said I hope I die in my sleep or while under anesthesia during a surgery .
we have information. i've been knocked out, passed out, put under for surgery and fallen asleep. we know the basics of how the brain works, and how it doesn't. we know that consciousness goes away sometimes.
and we know that it can go peacefully, or not.
we're talking about the process, here. not the state of being dead.
My Mom died at 97, sharp as a tack, from a series of heart attacks over five months that she described as painless. Her respiration was compromised from them, but she had five months to hold court with my siblings and me before drifting off to the next phase. In her final months, she was still reading, watching lots of basketball and comedy shows and discussing culture, progressive politics and processing events from her past. She had outlived all her friends, had 11 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren and openly stated she was tired and ready to go. That’s my model.
I'm currently torn between wanting to die peacefully in my sleep, and wanting to die in an explosives-related accident.
Several family members have died by explosives, see, and I'm kind of a traditionalist...
My Dad passed when he was 95. He was cognitively “with it”, engaged in life and fairly active. He stroked out one night. I found him at his apartment, unconscious but alive. I got him to the hospital and they diagnosed the stroke. He never woke up and passed the next day. Just like flipping a switch. This is the way I would like to go.
There was an afternoon in which I was sitting in my living room in a large lovesac pillow with a blanket up to my shoulders and my cat, Naise, was flopped up against my chest sleeping. Right beside me was the window and we were on the second floor of our house and the trees at the time were tall enough that just the tops reached up to the sill and looked like green fluffy clouds. The wind was steady but not too strong and the leaves rustling sounded a lot like being at the ocean. The sun would dip in and out of the cloud cover and whenever I might start to feel too warm, if felt like the shadows came at just the right time to cool me off.
I sighed and thought to myself, "I could die right now and be happy."
With dignity. With pain well-controlled. With a large enough dose of morphine to help me along when I'm ready. With my kids and grandkids and dearest friends near while I'm able to say goodbye and tell them how I have loved them and how they have made my life wonderful. And then to slip into a nice sleep in my beloved husband's arms, provided he survives me. He would want the same thing.
I would like to grow old enough to see abstract poverty. Where they put me in a nasty stinky facility with dirty walls and platter on ceiling. where they will take all of my money and savings, and feed me disgusting food every day while i am stuck in a small shared room, in a bed until I die while listening to the other old guy in the room die too.
I've seen this happen to just about everyone who made it to that age... whether you were a homeless person, lived in reduced income housing, or worked hard your whole life and lived in a 500,000 house, you WILL end up in the exact same place, treated the exact same way.
Because PRIVATE nursing homes, the nice ones where they treat you like humans, start at 20,000 a month. NOBODY except for multi-millionaires can afford that.
I would prefer to go in my sleep like my grandad, not screaming and crying like his passengers! (Just a joke, that's not how either of my grandads died!).
My Granny had a lovely death. Her health had been deteriorating, but in the last 6 months she went downhill very quickly. Eventually the hospital sent her home to die. From the moment she arrived back at home she was never on her own, my mum and her sisters were there pretty much constantly and the rest of the family (Granny's siblings, their kids, us grandkids and our families; we're a big family!) were in and out visiting, the kettle was always on and there was always sandwiches or sausage rolls on the go. The kids were playing as usual, Granny loved the sound of kids playing and laughing, and she would sit and do wee nursery rhymes with them, though she couldn't remember most of the words.
When she actually passed the whole family was around her, her children were at her side and my uncle was holding her hand. The bedroom was full, people were crowded out in the hallway and the living room. We all just stood quietly holding space for her and for each other.
My grandpa died in his sleep. TV on, empty bowl of ice cream beside him, dog in his lap, leg hooked over the arm of the recliner.
I want that for all of us.
My dad passed away from dementia in 2022. It was progressingly worsening for years and he was really out of it for 2 years prior to his death.
He fell and broke his hip and we put him into at-home hospice.
Every day a home health aid would change his clothes and bedding and rub him down with oil. Nurse visited weekly to check his vitals.
A few days before he died, all of the kids, grandkids and granddogs visited the house for a farewell pizza party. We said our goodbyes. My dad's last meal was his favorite - ice cream. He died in his sleep that evening.
Our local hospice was amazing. I definitely want them taking care of me when I am ready to kick off.
the end of a good life.
it's the living part we have any control over. i seek neither to dread nor long for my last day. it's likely to be a brute fact like so many others, and my reaction to it is what i want to be good. if i see it coming, and i can't do anything about it, i hope to be calm about it.
Lingering in a body and mind no longer reliable, just the worst; a ‘bad’ death.
Seeing it happening to a loved one is hard to bear.
To pass, to have a loved one pass, with nothing left unsaid between you, while of course difficult is a ‘good’ death.
After my eldest sister finally succumbed to cancer in April 2020, I knew my dad wasn't going to survive her passing. I gave him three months. He died three weeks later from grief-induced dementia.
He did die, however, in a hospital bed in his living room, surrounded by his loved ones, who stroked him and held his hand.
It was really quite beautiful, and honestly? A great way to go.
On some type of drug, I don't use any but did have morphine before you feel nothing and assume once you fall asleep your body can shut down. Most I know is a heart attack not sure how long that last, a medical induced Coma on vent or like my sister and brother in law both died of a drug overdose. Not condoning it and really don't want to find out but I bet the body went into shock which leads to even more natural body chemical release pain relief to move things on. Definitely don't want shot or car accident or stabbed seems very painful and slow.
I hit 50 five months ago. I'm not saying the grim spectre of death is looming over my shoulder but I definitely feel little more decrepit and unhealthy. I guess something quick. Already had one heart attack when I was 46, wouldn't like to go out that way, it's bloody awful.
Interesting question.
I've heard of people waking up from ears-long coma saying they heard / felt everything that happened and neuros saying it was impossible since the brain activity showed the most minimal signs of activity.
Pray to god that's not on the menu.
My grandfather was riding in a car with friends to a restaurant. He put his head back and fell asleep in the back seat. When they got to the diner about 10 minutes later, he was dead. He had a normal day that day. Mowed his lawn. Drank a beer. Got ready for dinner. There was no indication at all he would be dead by sunset. If I could see him again and ask him about it, he’d probably tell me it was perfect. I mean . He died instantly with my grandmother beside him , his friends were driving, on the way to what he expected to be a nice meal. Of course him dying this way was traumatic for our family but we’ve all mostly come to terms with it.
My uncle laid down for a nap after finishing a round of golf and didn't wake up. Not a bad way to go. He was a bit young at 79, but all in all I would probably take that
The way my granddad went. He lived to 95 in mostly good health. He woke up one morning and said his back hurt. We knew this might be a sign of a heart attack and sent him to a hosptal. The family gathered and he had enough time to say goodbye to everybody and was dead in less than 2 weeks. It wasn’t one of those long painful deaths
My first choice would be to simply go to sleep and never wake up.
My second choice is some type of incident where my family can collect a lot of money from an insurance company. Maybe a crane will fall on me or a Walmart truck hits me like Tracey Morgan, ( except he lived). I’m old, I’ve lived a full life so if a crane or truck has to hit somebody, it’s better to be me than a young person.
Like my father at 86 years, sitting in his favourite chair while watching TV at 2 am. Another is a friend of mine who was about 40 and died from an aneurism while driving his car into town. (The car gently rolled off into a farmer's field.)
Just like the one in the movies when the character just stops. Either sleeping in bed or in a chair or doing their favorite thing, gardening, fishing, whatev and just slups over dead.
I want to outlive my parents and have my kids and grandkids outlive me. That's a good death in my mind. Ideally, the actual death is being hit by a bus, or anything else that is quick and painless. I would prefer to be awake. The idea of dying in my sleep isn't something I like. I expect there's some kind of continuation of consciousness, and I don't want to wonder if I'm still dreaming. I'd rather be like, "Wait, I was just walking across the street and then......ohhhhhhhh"
I want a medically assisted death on my terms. I have Ulcerative colitis that is currently treated with meds. If and when the meds fail and they want to take my bowel I'm requesting MAID. I live in Canada it's my choice and i'll be exercising that right to choose. I want quality life over quantity.
A good death would be like a dream I had over 50 years ago…I was lying in a small meadow and I separated from my body and rose and was looking down at myself in the meadow…and I knew it was time to go and turned away from the view of myself and continued on. It was peaceful and beautiful… and it was OK.
SCR - Sudden Cardiac Arrest is what I would choose. Absolutely painless and you have no idea you're going. Preferably at the end of a running race, and not before I finish it!
I accidentally did a "trial run" of this a few weeks ago - I went running in a local arboretum and went a bit too hard. After I finished and was catching my breath and walking to my car I suddenly and without warning blacked out in the parking lot a few feet from my car. I knew for maybe half a second that I was going to pass out. All I could think of was to put my hands out in front to catch myself, and then it was lights out before I hit the ground. I didn't feel anything at all. My face and glasses hit the gravel which left a bruise. When I started coming around I felt like I was taking a nice restful nap, then suddenly realized my face was on the ground in the gravel. From what I've read of SCR survivors, this was exactly what it was like for them if in fact they could even remember any of it. This is so much better than dying slowly for months or year in pain and bed-ridden or disabled.
The ER diagnosis was that it appeared to be a classic vasovagal fainting spell, possibly due to dehydration. I'm 69 years old and do occasionally have AFib episodes, so they had to do all the cardiac testing stuff to see if I had any heart damage. The answer was probably not, but my troponen level was slightly elevated.
Edit\* I should add that even though I was very comfortable on the ground after passing out as long as I didn't move, any movement or attempt to stand on my part caused world-class nausea and wretched dry heaving. I was in the ER for several hours ,and was fine to drive home after they gave me anti-nausea drugs. My wife drove me back to the park to get my car.
I know right? But like roller coaster terrifying except no relief at the end. Who's to say cancer isn't terrifying but so much and so drawn out you get bored of the terror? A heart attack sounds not so attractive as well. I think there will be some discomfort whatever way I go. But my kids will just have a mundane story if I just get sick or weak and die. If I go in a plane crash, now that's something to tell.
Holly: And he died tragically in a plane crash aged 98.
Rimmer: 98?
Holly: Well, it was his own fault, apparently. He was making love to his 14th wife and lost control of the plane.
A good death is where I go to sleep and wake up on a spaceship, where they tell me Terran lives are a way to pass time while traveling between stars in stasis.
Then I go kiss my real kids and hubby, who are all dreaming still and who are often part of my dream lives, and I pick the next life for me to live.
I think this next one won't be so close to the fall of civilization. Maybe Edwardian England.
I don't want to die in my sleep. I want the chance to tell my loved ones how much they meant to me. Also, they would get to say their goodbyes.
For me, a good death would be my body peacefully, gracefully, and quietly shutting down.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling in terror like everyone in the bus he was driving did. Yeah, yeah, that joke's ancient.
Go to bed and never wake up. Or fighting the good fight. I just don’t want to go the way my father did, after a long, seven years plus long slide with dementia. Cancer is also not on my approved list of ways to go. And I definitely don’t want a death watch where everyone is at my bedside crying.
The other day I had a colonoscopy. The anesthesiologist gave me a big shot of propofol through the IV and out I went. I know my body wouldn't give up the ghost so easily but if they could something like that.....
My favorite death of all time is simple.
There was an English 87 years old who died while running through the park. Now the good part. He was buck naked, chasing his 18 year old assistant. She was catching her too, but just as he reached to grab her, her boyfriend shot him dead with a shotgun. Now I think that's the way to go.
Like my grandma. She passed peacefully in her sleep.
She was a tad under 92 years old and her OLDER sister was staying with her a few days. They stayed up and watched the late show, had coffee and a snack like a danish with their coffee afterwards and they each went to bed.
My great aunt wasn't able to wake her sister, my grandma, the following morning and it's because she passed away in her sleep.
She was still diving at 91, almost 92 and still living alone too. She had a normal evening at home with her sister and she just slipped off in her sleep.
I just grabbed a double espresso and it’s a glorious day in the city, girls in their summer dresses and I’m taking it all in… I step off the curb and a sudden noise makes me look leftward where a thru bus is hurtling towards me at 60mph, there is last orgasmic fear rush in my whole body and then…
Lights out…
A friend of mine died in a water skiing accident. He was in great shape and died doing what he loved. I don't know the details but I think he went pretty quickly. It was sad for his family and friends but for him it was an easy way out.
An instantaneous death. My co-workers Mother was stood washing the dishes at the kitchen sink when she suddenly collapsed and died on the spot. That's the way to go.
Sacrificing my existence to save a child’s life or the lives of others. So a hero’s death! A peaceful death is ok too but to me ‘good’ implies I made the choice and decided it was worthy.
My grandmother was staying at our house so my mother could take care of her. She had cancer, and near the end, she wanted to go back to her house in North Dakota. My uncle took care of her at the end, and very early on Christmas day, she woke up and asked to open presents. After this, she went back to sleep and didn't wake up.
Something where I'm completely brain-dead first so they have time to harvest my organs and whatnot. I'm a full-body organ donor, and it's important to me that the last day of my life will be the best day of someone else's life.
Being 85+ and in good health until then with a minimum of mobility or pain issues, going to sleep one night and not waking up because your heart stopped.
Write up all your wills and stuff and get them notarized so they are less likely to be contested. Even if you don’t have much money you don’t want people fighting over trinkets or whatever. Then go in your sleep.
Kicking and screaming 🤣🤣🤣. In all seriousness, with dignity and honor. I don’t fear death as I’ve already been there and done that. I just hope the final one is dignified.
These happen a lot in my family. It'll probably happen to me too. We all have the same heart defect. Most of my relatives either died in their sleep of sat down in a chair to rest and immediately died. Guess that's the best way to do.
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Just not waking up one day would be good.
That was my dad. Age 87. My cousin put it this way "He went to sleep and didn't wake up here."
Mine too.
A man I dearly loved died that way. I was devastated when I heard. Although logically I knew that he was lucky to go that way, it took a while before I felt it, too.
Also without any pain or long time illness.
Yup. My mum was 86, had been starting to get some pain and difficulty managing on her own. Didn’t wake up one morning. Miss her a lot but relieved she went quietly and comfortably before we had to deal with any of the home help or senior homes discussions.
"I hope I die like my grandpa did; peacefully in his sleep. Not kicking and screaming like the other people in his car." - Jack Handy
Bet. How long are you hoping for? And address?
My Gramma was 102. Time was very near, and we knew it. After dinner with the family and friends, Mom brought her back to her room and we all gathered there. Gramma always loved hosting parties. We hadn't let her drink for quite a while - not good for her - but hell, she'd completely blown off prohibition, and what was prohibiting a nightcap going to do, give her another 2 days? We turned on some Big Band music, brought out the good wine and some bubbly, and chatted and danced and laughed while Gramma presided over it all from her bed like the matriarch she was. We told stories and jokes and held her hands while dancing and she LAUGHED and laughed. As the party died down, in the wee hours of the morning like she used to do it, and the guests wandered off to their rooms or back to their hotels, and we gathered the glasses and plates while mom wiped Gramma's makeup off, Gramma said "My, what a LOVELY party!" Those were her last words. Mom crawled into bed next to her mom, and Gramma went to sleep. And that was that. It *was* a lovely party. So was her funeral. My son, 14 at the time, said "WE put the FUN in Funeral!" She'd have loved it. Fascinating woman. Adventurer. Hopped a freight to China in the 30s. Told she wasn't allowed off the boat when they got there, so promptly ran off to the interior with the son of the ship's captain. Came back with China and lace and such. As a little girl - like age 4 - I remember her chastising me for using the cheap plastic toys for a tea party. No, no, do it right or don't bother - and she fetched the good china. She traveled to Morocco and Tunisia in the 30s, too - and we have video!! One of her friends had a new-fangled contraption that took motion video. Her college class took a trip to Europe, and when people went home, Gramma ran off with some "nice boy who had a WONDERFUL little red convertible" and drove all over the rest of Europe before coming home and later meeting Grampa who was an adventurer himself. She had a great life, and a great death.
May I please have the title of this book? I'd really like to read it.
I recorded a lot of her stories. That's actually one of my Retirement Activities I decided on years ago. 🤣 She lived in central California. When she was 88, her doctor took her off her sleeping pills. She wanted them, but nope, no-go. Not good for her. So, at almost 90 years old, she hopped in the back of a pickup truck and rode down to Tijuana. Got 'em there, brought them back up. Yes, my Gramma smuggled pills across the border. Next appointment, Doc asked how she was doing without the pills. She said she was doing fine *with* the pills, no thanks to him, and told him the story. 🤣 He was thrilled. Thought it was hysterical. He told everyone that story, and said he decided it was probably safer if he just kept prescribing them. He and his family became great family friends, we have them over for dinner every week, attend each other'skids' graduations, etc. He took care of Dad when he got sick, too. There's tons more. Maybe tomorrow night I'll tell you about the macaws she and grampa brought back from their trip up the Amazon in canoes with some tribesmen they met at a mercado 😉😁❤️ It's hard to live up to them. HUGE shoes to fill.
She sounds like she was one heck of a woman! Definitely book material!
I'd read that
That’s truly beautiful, what a blessing to have in your life
***That*** is a life and death to aspire to!
Wow! Sounds like she was an amazing person!
Live like someone left the gate open!
Reading this made me teary-eyed! I absolutely love that she lived life on her terms and had a blast doing it - life is an adventure. Your grandma is my role model!
Best death ever.
Something fast. My mom got sick, went to hospital, fell into a coma, died a few days later. My dad got sick, went to the hospital, got sent home, never recovered, and spent 19 years dying a slow miserable death while his mind and body betrayed him. No way in hell I want to go through anything even remotely like my dad went through. Not only was it a miserable existence, he had to be taken care of for 19 years. I don’t want to go through that, and I don’t want anyone to have to care for me for so long.
It's not the death. It's the dying.
That’s how I feel. I don’t mind being dead. I just don’t like getting there.
My father also degraded over years and years. My grandfather had a much better death. My grandmother died, and three weeks later Grandpa slumped over while watching TV. He had an aneurysm. Dead when the ambulance got there.
I want a bottle of morphine or fentanal. If I feel bad I'll take a bit. If I feel bad often enough it will probably do me in, sedated.
I'm in my early 70s and when I'm in my late 90s I want to make a great meal for my extended family, sit and talk and laugh with them while everyone eats, go to bed and then not wake up.
Whatever it is, I want it to be quick and painless. I've seen too many family members whither away while losing their mental faculties and forced to go through the indignity of bathroom problems. I don't want to be laying in some bed, getting my diapers changed, and just watching the clock tick away every day.
In my silly youth, I used to think I wanted to go out with a bang, like get eaten by a shark since I used to scuba dive a lot. Now in my 60s, I hope to someday just fall asleep and never wake up.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.... All jokes aside, dying in my sleep would be ideal.
Darn. Came to post this exact joke.
Lol....
It only happens for 1% of pop I read. Better to prepare for the more likely option.
I think a good death is one with dignity. One where peace has been made with the end of your life and you go peacefully into the unknown. That said I hope I die in my sleep or while under anesthesia during a surgery .
I don't want to die on the operating table, because that would be extremely painful for the entire surgery team.
[удалено]
I’ve witnessed people dying. I hope to have a peaceful death or, if not, at least the ability to endure it with grace.
we have information. i've been knocked out, passed out, put under for surgery and fallen asleep. we know the basics of how the brain works, and how it doesn't. we know that consciousness goes away sometimes. and we know that it can go peacefully, or not. we're talking about the process, here. not the state of being dead.
My Mom died at 97, sharp as a tack, from a series of heart attacks over five months that she described as painless. Her respiration was compromised from them, but she had five months to hold court with my siblings and me before drifting off to the next phase. In her final months, she was still reading, watching lots of basketball and comedy shows and discussing culture, progressive politics and processing events from her past. She had outlived all her friends, had 11 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren and openly stated she was tired and ready to go. That’s my model.
The lady across the walkway from me was vibrant and full of life one day she died in her sleep. I’d like to go like that as long as it’s quick.
I'm currently torn between wanting to die peacefully in my sleep, and wanting to die in an explosives-related accident. Several family members have died by explosives, see, and I'm kind of a traditionalist...
ISIS has a job opening for you.
Putin has left the chat and slammed the door
I'll settle for just dying once, not several times like my parents.
Going to bed with great plans for tomorrow, and waking up in heaven.
My Dad passed when he was 95. He was cognitively “with it”, engaged in life and fairly active. He stroked out one night. I found him at his apartment, unconscious but alive. I got him to the hospital and they diagnosed the stroke. He never woke up and passed the next day. Just like flipping a switch. This is the way I would like to go.
There was an afternoon in which I was sitting in my living room in a large lovesac pillow with a blanket up to my shoulders and my cat, Naise, was flopped up against my chest sleeping. Right beside me was the window and we were on the second floor of our house and the trees at the time were tall enough that just the tops reached up to the sill and looked like green fluffy clouds. The wind was steady but not too strong and the leaves rustling sounded a lot like being at the ocean. The sun would dip in and out of the cloud cover and whenever I might start to feel too warm, if felt like the shadows came at just the right time to cool me off. I sighed and thought to myself, "I could die right now and be happy."
You should be a writer. That is totally beautiful. I also have had those moments and they are precious.
Ditto,, I was right there feeling like i was all cuddled up and cozy.
I dont want to die with a sickness or bad health condition, certainly not by accident. I just want someday to sleep and never wake up again. painless
The paycheck for the funeral home bounces.
Except you'll end up on the side of a road somewhere, as if you'd care
In my sleep
With dignity. With pain well-controlled. With a large enough dose of morphine to help me along when I'm ready. With my kids and grandkids and dearest friends near while I'm able to say goodbye and tell them how I have loved them and how they have made my life wonderful. And then to slip into a nice sleep in my beloved husband's arms, provided he survives me. He would want the same thing.
I would like to grow old enough to see abstract poverty. Where they put me in a nasty stinky facility with dirty walls and platter on ceiling. where they will take all of my money and savings, and feed me disgusting food every day while i am stuck in a small shared room, in a bed until I die while listening to the other old guy in the room die too. I've seen this happen to just about everyone who made it to that age... whether you were a homeless person, lived in reduced income housing, or worked hard your whole life and lived in a 500,000 house, you WILL end up in the exact same place, treated the exact same way. Because PRIVATE nursing homes, the nice ones where they treat you like humans, start at 20,000 a month. NOBODY except for multi-millionaires can afford that.
I’d like to go the same way former vice president Nelson Rockefeller did at 70 years of age, while making love to a 25 year old woman.
He was 78. So that was even better. When he died the joke was he died of low blood pressure 78 over 25!
Just not wake up.
I would prefer to go in my sleep like my grandad, not screaming and crying like his passengers! (Just a joke, that's not how either of my grandads died!). My Granny had a lovely death. Her health had been deteriorating, but in the last 6 months she went downhill very quickly. Eventually the hospital sent her home to die. From the moment she arrived back at home she was never on her own, my mum and her sisters were there pretty much constantly and the rest of the family (Granny's siblings, their kids, us grandkids and our families; we're a big family!) were in and out visiting, the kettle was always on and there was always sandwiches or sausage rolls on the go. The kids were playing as usual, Granny loved the sound of kids playing and laughing, and she would sit and do wee nursery rhymes with them, though she couldn't remember most of the words. When she actually passed the whole family was around her, her children were at her side and my uncle was holding her hand. The bedroom was full, people were crowded out in the hallway and the living room. We all just stood quietly holding space for her and for each other.
My grandpa died in his sleep. TV on, empty bowl of ice cream beside him, dog in his lap, leg hooked over the arm of the recliner. I want that for all of us.
While finally I’m no longer feeling rush.
I want a electric death, not an acoustic death. On. Then off. No lingering.
Spending my last moments with people I care about around me. Option 2 would be to die peacefully in my sleep.
My dad passed away from dementia in 2022. It was progressingly worsening for years and he was really out of it for 2 years prior to his death. He fell and broke his hip and we put him into at-home hospice. Every day a home health aid would change his clothes and bedding and rub him down with oil. Nurse visited weekly to check his vitals. A few days before he died, all of the kids, grandkids and granddogs visited the house for a farewell pizza party. We said our goodbyes. My dad's last meal was his favorite - ice cream. He died in his sleep that evening. Our local hospice was amazing. I definitely want them taking care of me when I am ready to kick off.
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At 94, I go for a long nature walk, come home to have a great meal, watch my favorite movie, go to bed and peacefully fall asleep, never to wake up.
the end of a good life. it's the living part we have any control over. i seek neither to dread nor long for my last day. it's likely to be a brute fact like so many others, and my reaction to it is what i want to be good. if i see it coming, and i can't do anything about it, i hope to be calm about it.
Lingering in a body and mind no longer reliable, just the worst; a ‘bad’ death. Seeing it happening to a loved one is hard to bear. To pass, to have a loved one pass, with nothing left unsaid between you, while of course difficult is a ‘good’ death.
After my eldest sister finally succumbed to cancer in April 2020, I knew my dad wasn't going to survive her passing. I gave him three months. He died three weeks later from grief-induced dementia. He did die, however, in a hospital bed in his living room, surrounded by his loved ones, who stroked him and held his hand. It was really quite beautiful, and honestly? A great way to go.
One that comes after a good life.
On some type of drug, I don't use any but did have morphine before you feel nothing and assume once you fall asleep your body can shut down. Most I know is a heart attack not sure how long that last, a medical induced Coma on vent or like my sister and brother in law both died of a drug overdose. Not condoning it and really don't want to find out but I bet the body went into shock which leads to even more natural body chemical release pain relief to move things on. Definitely don't want shot or car accident or stabbed seems very painful and slow.
on the battlefield with a sword in the hand. /s seriuosly, prefarable before serious mental degradation.
like a Klingon
I hit 50 five months ago. I'm not saying the grim spectre of death is looming over my shoulder but I definitely feel little more decrepit and unhealthy. I guess something quick. Already had one heart attack when I was 46, wouldn't like to go out that way, it's bloody awful.
One that happens before the physical death, so one is in so much peace that the physical death (regardless of type) only affects the body.
Interesting question. I've heard of people waking up from ears-long coma saying they heard / felt everything that happened and neuros saying it was impossible since the brain activity showed the most minimal signs of activity. Pray to god that's not on the menu.
My grandfather was riding in a car with friends to a restaurant. He put his head back and fell asleep in the back seat. When they got to the diner about 10 minutes later, he was dead. He had a normal day that day. Mowed his lawn. Drank a beer. Got ready for dinner. There was no indication at all he would be dead by sunset. If I could see him again and ask him about it, he’d probably tell me it was perfect. I mean . He died instantly with my grandmother beside him , his friends were driving, on the way to what he expected to be a nice meal. Of course him dying this way was traumatic for our family but we’ve all mostly come to terms with it.
My uncle laid down for a nap after finishing a round of golf and didn't wake up. Not a bad way to go. He was a bit young at 79, but all in all I would probably take that
The way my granddad went. He lived to 95 in mostly good health. He woke up one morning and said his back hurt. We knew this might be a sign of a heart attack and sent him to a hosptal. The family gathered and he had enough time to say goodbye to everybody and was dead in less than 2 weeks. It wasn’t one of those long painful deaths
My first choice would be to simply go to sleep and never wake up. My second choice is some type of incident where my family can collect a lot of money from an insurance company. Maybe a crane will fall on me or a Walmart truck hits me like Tracey Morgan, ( except he lived). I’m old, I’ve lived a full life so if a crane or truck has to hit somebody, it’s better to be me than a young person.
Like my father at 86 years, sitting in his favourite chair while watching TV at 2 am. Another is a friend of mine who was about 40 and died from an aneurism while driving his car into town. (The car gently rolled off into a farmer's field.)
Just like the one in the movies when the character just stops. Either sleeping in bed or in a chair or doing their favorite thing, gardening, fishing, whatev and just slups over dead.
I want to outlive my parents and have my kids and grandkids outlive me. That's a good death in my mind. Ideally, the actual death is being hit by a bus, or anything else that is quick and painless. I would prefer to be awake. The idea of dying in my sleep isn't something I like. I expect there's some kind of continuation of consciousness, and I don't want to wonder if I'm still dreaming. I'd rather be like, "Wait, I was just walking across the street and then......ohhhhhhhh"
My 89 yr old grandma was lying on the couch, hiccuped and died.
I want a medically assisted death on my terms. I have Ulcerative colitis that is currently treated with meds. If and when the meds fail and they want to take my bowel I'm requesting MAID. I live in Canada it's my choice and i'll be exercising that right to choose. I want quality life over quantity.
Huge party, then die in my sleep
A good death means leaving my wife and child ready to carry on living a comfortable life. It'd be nice if it weren't painful for me.
A good death would be like a dream I had over 50 years ago…I was lying in a small meadow and I separated from my body and rose and was looking down at myself in the meadow…and I knew it was time to go and turned away from the view of myself and continued on. It was peaceful and beautiful… and it was OK.
SCR - Sudden Cardiac Arrest is what I would choose. Absolutely painless and you have no idea you're going. Preferably at the end of a running race, and not before I finish it! I accidentally did a "trial run" of this a few weeks ago - I went running in a local arboretum and went a bit too hard. After I finished and was catching my breath and walking to my car I suddenly and without warning blacked out in the parking lot a few feet from my car. I knew for maybe half a second that I was going to pass out. All I could think of was to put my hands out in front to catch myself, and then it was lights out before I hit the ground. I didn't feel anything at all. My face and glasses hit the gravel which left a bruise. When I started coming around I felt like I was taking a nice restful nap, then suddenly realized my face was on the ground in the gravel. From what I've read of SCR survivors, this was exactly what it was like for them if in fact they could even remember any of it. This is so much better than dying slowly for months or year in pain and bed-ridden or disabled. The ER diagnosis was that it appeared to be a classic vasovagal fainting spell, possibly due to dehydration. I'm 69 years old and do occasionally have AFib episodes, so they had to do all the cardiac testing stuff to see if I had any heart damage. The answer was probably not, but my troponen level was slightly elevated. Edit\* I should add that even though I was very comfortable on the ground after passing out as long as I didn't move, any movement or attempt to stand on my part caused world-class nausea and wretched dry heaving. I was in the ER for several hours ,and was fine to drive home after they gave me anti-nausea drugs. My wife drove me back to the park to get my car.
I want my last thought to be "WTF?!"
I hope I still have the mobility to kick a grizzly bear cub
On the way home from an awesome holiday, the plane goes down.
Kinda hard on the others on your flight . . .
It's not like I'm going to make it happen. It's just if it happens, I'm cool.with it. Give my kids a great story to tell.
Ok. Whilst quick, it would be rather terrifying.
I know right? But like roller coaster terrifying except no relief at the end. Who's to say cancer isn't terrifying but so much and so drawn out you get bored of the terror? A heart attack sounds not so attractive as well. I think there will be some discomfort whatever way I go. But my kids will just have a mundane story if I just get sick or weak and die. If I go in a plane crash, now that's something to tell.
“…And how can man die better, than facing fearful odds, For the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his gods…?”
I'd like to be roasted upside down over a fire, like the Indians used to do to the white man
At peace with God and my fellow humans. The rest I hope I can bear with patience, however it comes.
The one where my enemies go first
Quick and painless, I'd like to simply die in my sleep and I don't want any prolonged suffering
Massive heart attack either during sex or snorting coke off of the hookers ass.
Holly: And he died tragically in a plane crash aged 98. Rimmer: 98? Holly: Well, it was his own fault, apparently. He was making love to his 14th wife and lost control of the plane.
In the most macho way possible: riding a shark with 250 pounds of dynamite strapped to my chest into the mouth in an active volcano!
A good death is where I go to sleep and wake up on a spaceship, where they tell me Terran lives are a way to pass time while traveling between stars in stasis. Then I go kiss my real kids and hubby, who are all dreaming still and who are often part of my dream lives, and I pick the next life for me to live. I think this next one won't be so close to the fall of civilization. Maybe Edwardian England.
I don't want to die in my sleep. I want the chance to tell my loved ones how much they meant to me. Also, they would get to say their goodbyes. For me, a good death would be my body peacefully, gracefully, and quietly shutting down.
Peaceful, alert and awake.
Saving many innocent lives from the forces of evil
Heart attack in my sleep after having said "I love you". No pain, just a peaceful exit.
High af
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling in terror like everyone in the bus he was driving did. Yeah, yeah, that joke's ancient.
Go to sleep and not wake up. I watched my late husband die of cancer and I don't think I can go through that.
Like Pratchett. Mysteriously expiring in my garden while sipping a very large glass of one of my irreplaceable collector Scotches.
I want to cum and go.
Going in my sleep
Go to bed and never wake up. Or fighting the good fight. I just don’t want to go the way my father did, after a long, seven years plus long slide with dementia. Cancer is also not on my approved list of ways to go. And I definitely don’t want a death watch where everyone is at my bedside crying.
The other day I had a colonoscopy. The anesthesiologist gave me a big shot of propofol through the IV and out I went. I know my body wouldn't give up the ghost so easily but if they could something like that.....
Quickly!
Dead before I hit the ground.
My favorite death of all time is simple. There was an English 87 years old who died while running through the park. Now the good part. He was buck naked, chasing his 18 year old assistant. She was catching her too, but just as he reached to grab her, her boyfriend shot him dead with a shotgun. Now I think that's the way to go.
Like my grandma. She passed peacefully in her sleep. She was a tad under 92 years old and her OLDER sister was staying with her a few days. They stayed up and watched the late show, had coffee and a snack like a danish with their coffee afterwards and they each went to bed. My great aunt wasn't able to wake her sister, my grandma, the following morning and it's because she passed away in her sleep. She was still diving at 91, almost 92 and still living alone too. She had a normal evening at home with her sister and she just slipped off in her sleep.
Lay down for a nap and not wake up.
Leaping off a 200 foot cliff into the rocky Pacific. One last big adventure.
“Do not go gentle into that good night…”
I just grabbed a double espresso and it’s a glorious day in the city, girls in their summer dresses and I’m taking it all in… I step off the curb and a sudden noise makes me look leftward where a thru bus is hurtling towards me at 60mph, there is last orgasmic fear rush in my whole body and then… Lights out…
A friend of mine died in a water skiing accident. He was in great shape and died doing what he loved. I don't know the details but I think he went pretty quickly. It was sad for his family and friends but for him it was an easy way out.
On my feet, swinging.
In a deep sleep, deep enough not to hear the passengers screaming "WAKE UP"
Asleep
Ideally, something quick and painless, either in my sleep or at a time of my choosing.
In my sleep or something unexpected and quick.
Peacefully
That’s an easy one, in one’s sleep.
Always be ready and die peacefully.
An instantaneous death. My co-workers Mother was stood washing the dishes at the kitchen sink when she suddenly collapsed and died on the spot. That's the way to go.
Sacrificing my existence to save a child’s life or the lives of others. So a hero’s death! A peaceful death is ok too but to me ‘good’ implies I made the choice and decided it was worthy.
Read A Prayer for Owen Meany and that’s what I think when answering.
My grandmother was staying at our house so my mother could take care of her. She had cancer, and near the end, she wanted to go back to her house in North Dakota. My uncle took care of her at the end, and very early on Christmas day, she woke up and asked to open presents. After this, she went back to sleep and didn't wake up.
Something where I'm completely brain-dead first so they have time to harvest my organs and whatnot. I'm a full-body organ donor, and it's important to me that the last day of my life will be the best day of someone else's life.
Being 85+ and in good health until then with a minimum of mobility or pain issues, going to sleep one night and not waking up because your heart stopped.
Write up all your wills and stuff and get them notarized so they are less likely to be contested. Even if you don’t have much money you don’t want people fighting over trinkets or whatever. Then go in your sleep.
Kicking and screaming 🤣🤣🤣. In all seriousness, with dignity and honor. I don’t fear death as I’ve already been there and done that. I just hope the final one is dignified.
I want to go out like my dad and his dad did. Grab chest, fall to the ground, gone! Quick is good.
These happen a lot in my family. It'll probably happen to me too. We all have the same heart defect. Most of my relatives either died in their sleep of sat down in a chair to rest and immediately died. Guess that's the best way to do.
One that happens at least 100 years from now.
In my own bed, at the age of eighty, with a belly full of wine and a woman’s lips around my cock.
Getting my nuts ripped off my Laplander… That’s the way I wanna go!
The doctors say he's got a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10% chance of that.