Edible but what about the taste? Dirt can become a sustainable food source but I doubt it would be very tasteful. I'd probably go with crayons. They're so colorful they have to taste good! Right?

> They're so colorful they have to taste good! Right? My 4-year-old thinks so.

> My 4-year-old thinks so. Future USMC grunt right there!

As my vet buddy says about his own son: "the world always need infantryman."

I would definitely try infants

I made that mistake when I was like 6 years old. I was 100% certain the watermelon soap in our bathroom tasted like watermelon. It smelled so good! Ended up puking suds and being laughed at

Can you really blame your parents for laughing?

I deserved it lol.

My 1.5 year old agrees. She bit a crayon the other day and said yummy. 😂

4 year old: Finally some good fucking food

They are okay. I wouldn't say good, but not bad either. Just kinda meh.

Say your a marine without saying your a marine

The blue ones are the best, just like with every candy.

Crayons are in fact edible

The marines can attest to that.

i dont know man. i suffer few month of dirt if i can score that sweet RTX 4090.

Mud cookies/dirt cookies are an actual thing that exist by the way. Predominantly in Haiti.

Yep. It's traditionally eaten by Haitian mothers as "nutritional supplements" — a practice disputed by doctors, but nonetheless still practiced. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mud_cookie

Dirt tastes good. Obviously you have to make sure it’s clean.

Fucking marines

I think the marines will agree with you lol

Liquid hot mag- ma

Eat a Hot-Pocket right out of the microwave. Basically the same thing.

or a pizza roll. Little pockets of molten lava

Although it's now edible, the taste and flavour has not changed so you're still tasting sulfur or whatever material is in it.

Of course I had to read it in Dr. Evil's voice.

You know, Scott, I've been a frickin' evil doctor for 30 frickin' years, okay? Cut me some frickin' slack. You forget, Scott, we're in a volcano. We're surrounded by liquid hot magma.

I came here to say lava. Mmmmm

Giving the molten lava cake a new meaning.

I feel like it would have "melted caramel" flavours

I want it to have an entirely new flavor unknown to man! (But still delicious)

ooo or some molten glass

Forbidden taffy.

Magma always sounded like a dessert dish to me.

You mean cheese toasties?

It isn’t edible - but don’t you think it oughta be?

Magma Subterranean tsar

Professor! Lava! Hot!

You'd have to go underground to get it tho, if you eat lava it will come up to you.

Lava: the Earths curry

Read that in John Oliver's voice

I concur

I'd try this with a carolina reaper for the ultimate ring sting.

Coolant, looks refreshing

It's just flat Mountain Dew

So... *Planes Dew*

The thing about antifreeze is... it already tastes sweet. You have to make sure to keep it away from pets. They're known to drink it. I want to make coolant candies.

there has been a huge scandal in 1985, where winemakers spiked their wine with an ingredient in antifreeze to make it sweeter. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985\_diethylene\_glycol\_wine\_scandal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985_diethylene_glycol_wine_scandal)

The simpsons did an episode about it

Crystals

I am thinking a geode!

some folk make edible geodes in chocolate eggs - cut a hole - drip in coloured sugar water over weeks and weeks letting it dry each time to simulate the the crystal structures of geodes

TIL

https://nerdist.com/article/cracking-open-giant-chocolate-geodes-is-the-ultimate-sugar-rush/ and https://www.thedailymeal.com/news/eat/these-giant-chocolate-geodes-are-mindblowing-and-completely-edible/033117

I'm reaching for those Tide Pods immediately. I bet they taste like a fruit salad. Next up is magma. It's so warm and gooey, I bet it goes great on ice cream.

Hell yeah man and then we're eating a full course of dirt, with a dash of grass on top and on the side some tree trunks(the tasty lookin ones)

I want both the bark that's got those big rough chunks and that smooth, papery bark.

ah yes, the profile of r/forbiddensnacks , tide pods, soap. https://www.reddit.com/r/collegehumor/comments/ftlc1u/tide_pods_are_soap_and_thats_not_food/

Magma is just hot strawberry fudge.

Play dough

Good news! Play dough is in fact safe to eat, munch up.

Play dough already is edible. It’s perfectly safe to eat. And it tastes gross.

Daaaad…it says non-toxic!

I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

I was looking for this comment 100% agree The light blue play dough too

I've already eaten play dough, it's not good it tastes like salt and flour. Sorry to ruin the fun

Uranium. yum yum.

Enjoy 18 million kCal per gram. You'll be full.

we've discovered the solution to world hunger

We already have the solution to world hunger: it's the corn, just rinse and repeat!

now that is an instant heart attack on a plate

wow, instant bulk, gains here i come

you say it like your body can convert any of that into useful energy

In this world nothing is deadly , let them get 246 years worth of calories in one bite

you'll probably just shit it out is my point edible doesn't mean digestible/useful, just like how fiber isn't

Who's ranium ?

Mine

*Our*anium, comrade. ☭☢️

Those stone balls in-front of target Edit:this is my most upvoted comedy ever you guys are awesome 😀

Those stone balls on Michaelangelo's David

My wife and I were in Vegas a long time ago and we were looking at a statue of David. After looking at it for a bit she turned to me and said, it's so small! It looks just like yours! After about two seconds her face turned bright red and she felt super bad. I've never seen her try to back pedal so fast.

Ed Edd and Eddy jawbreakers

Dammit, the one time half of my username is relevent and somebody already beat me to the joke...

Everything 'on earth'? Pfft, I got my eyes on the fucking Moon bro. Reword your question. Y'know I'd be up there gnawing on those moonrocks. That shit looks delicious. Get to the Moon and slam moonrock against my visor because I didn't realize that I still had my moonsuit on. Get into my moon-vessle, take out my knife and fork, start wolfing down the Moon. You already know that the tides are gonna be lower when I'm going fucking HAM on the Moon. Maybe make a Moon-soup. Tell all the NASA-guys that they don't need to pack any of that astronaut-food-muck because I'll have a whole-ass celestial object to chew on. I'm gonna need a doggie-bag when I leave cause I know I'm gonna be hungry for some Moon on the way back. I'll probably have problems sleeping because I'm thinking about that fucking sublime taste bro. Please give me another piece of Moon. I'll fucking die if you don't shoot me up there again. What, you don't think I'm eligible to go again? Bro, youre a fucking scientist *bitch*. I'll strap myself to the next rocket to the Moon, with or without your permission. I'll fucking melt in the heat of atmospheric friction, I dont give a shit. I need Moon between my jaws, next to my gums, in front of my uvula. Maybe just build my own rocket. *You know what?* Go stick a fucking donkey bitch up your ass bro. I'm gonna get to the Moon again. Shit tastes like the tears of god bro. They're gonna bury me with my last crumb of Moon. I'm gonna be sitting next to these wheelchair motherfuckers in the old people's home who've never even been close to the Moon. I'm just gonna be fucking babbling nonsense about that divine moment my tongue touched that first piece of Moon. I'm gonna die of fucking starvation bro. I'm gonna refuse the tainted food from this fucking bitch-made planet. Hasta la vista you shit-bitches.

New copypasta dropped

Yeh

Lead paint. Apparently kids would continue to eat paint chips because they were sweet. Time for me to find out!

I came to this thread with low expectations and witnessed the birth of something beautiful

Get this man some moon rocks!

"as your president I promise that we will colonise the moon and then feast upon it!"

To be fair Wallace and Gromit made the Moon look VERY tasty

There are moon rocks on earth, just trying to save you the time and money required to get to the moon. Because even though they’re edible, you may not like the taste, and you wouldn’t want to be hungry on the return trip. Now, if you *do* like the taste, go absolutely nuts on the moon.

Nice.

don’t blame you the moon tastes like cheese

ALL the colourful mushrooms

I would do it just to do it. Like "fuck you, little safe bitch. Eating all of you in this little patch."

oh hell yeah, so many shrooms would suddenly be safe to get high on, yippee!

They don't taste good

Woodchips. Will they taste like potato chips.

Dude, I bet cedar chips are the shit.

Yes

you

I mean...I'm already edible. You ever see the 90s movie *Alive*?

Or Jeff?

Soylent Green

Clouds i want to taste the difference between snow clouds and rain clouds and fluffy clouds.

I remember one time my family was driving in the mountains and there was low clouds covering the road so I stuck my head out the window and tried to eat some clouds. It tasted moist.

And pink dawn clouds and pink sunset clouds

Clouds are already edible

My scented candles

Gasoline/petrol. I still remember the first time I smelled it and my 4yo brain almost drowned in dopamine, or maybe it was just fumes and its been that way ever since. Either way, I'll take a large with ice

2nd this for something that would no doubt ruin your insides i wanna taste it cos it smells phenomenal .

I have tasted a few drops from caveman syphoning from my car’s gas tank. It is spicy in all the worst ways.

Glug glug glug

I'd eat kansas

The band or the state?

Yes

Nivea cream that comes in the dark blue box

Smells so good!

Lava. Ooey gooey goodness

Only if it's as spicy as I think it would be

The fluffy stuff that comes with jewelry

Insulation. It looks like cotton candy

Some sort of Bank. Eat the Rich.

Happy cake day

And happy birthday!! (Why they say cake day instead of?)

Because reddit displays a cake icon next to your username. And it's the anniversary of when you started your reddit account, not the anniversary of your own birth.

Effectively everything being edible implies we could breakdown whatever we eat. So lets eat up all our: carbon emissions, nuclear waste, plastics, chemical runoff and so on. We could probably feed the entire planet for generations from the pollution we’ve created in the past 200 years alone.

Mmmmm petroleum jelly

New menu item: Pacific Garbage Patch seafood salad! And if we ever manage to clean the whole thing then we just dip plastic recyclables in some salt-water.

Basically any kids toys the top would be orbees, legos, kinetic sand, glow stick juice, sticky hands to name a few.

Same vein, tide pods, dishwasher pods, etc

technically everything is already edible -- some stuff only once

\`Homework...won't have to blame it on the dog anymore

Teacher: Where's your homework? You: I A T E I T

Wait you HAVENT been eating your homework already?

Those plants near water that look like sausages sort off

Cattail lol and same

Are you talking about cattails? Because they already are [edible](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/can-you-eat-cattails). Enjoy!

YEES YEEES YEEES I LOVE THE WORLD

".. a type of wetland flowering plant, more commonly known as a" water sausage" "

They are already edible.

Just not the part that looks edible

Plastic in the Ocean

Ooh great answer. This deserves way more up votes 👍

Chil- I mean children's toys

food packaging no more waste

some food packaging is now made of stuff that will degrade .. some sort of celulose fibre farkle (least its in concept stage)

[удалено]

I know. I might get real wild and try hummus.

I read that as humans at first glance, wild af

Is there any meat out there that is not edible?

Yes, Fugu aka blowfish. If you eat it you die. Unless its prepared in the correct way.

it takes a sushi chef with a ton of experience and (i think) some sort of offical exam to make it legal to serve - the issue at hand is the levels of Tetrodotoxin present in some of the fishes organs

Apparently how poisonous it is is based on what minerals are in the water, so farm raised fugu doesn't have the poison at all and tastes exactly the same.

That ass homie

eah, as a lactose intolerant ~ everything with lactose.

All the colorful, poisonous berry looking things on bushes and trees!

Chalk or oil paints

Hemlock. I want to know what Socrates tasted.

All the pretty rocks and gems I have. Also Lava

glass

The rich

Reddit

Nuclear bombs. I wonder what they would taste like??

Those warhead candies from back in the 90s. Burned a hole in my tongue when I was 6. Good times

trees

I'd first have to figure out what my stomach can take. Allergies will probably be running rampant with all these new flavors to try. But safely edible? I'd try Pink Sauce.

fresh made pink sauce is perfectly edible ... the stuff they make and then ship out un-refrigerated not so much

Gasoline (petrol). If only it tastes as good as it smells.

Beyonce

acorns. dont ask.

Cars, don't ask me why.

How come?

Novelty scented erasers

My dick

Vicks vapor rub or my cinnamon spiced vanilla candle.

Gasoline. Through a straw

The Bean in Chicago. Just to piss off Anish Kapoor

Air, think about it though, all the scents and smells would be flavors.

Bull shit I dont need

Why do you have bull shit?

Charcoal

Antifreeze Already know it’s sweet…

Something really chaotic, like all my neighbours front door handles.

Your mums ass

Gunpowder. I’ve been told it’s really sweet

Paint, candles, soap, cotton balls and lotions

Pink insulation. Forbidden cotton candy

Toothpaste. I love that smell!

Dat ass

Lava. It looks delicious.

Cement, sand, petrol, paint

My d&d dice. I always buy the tastiest looking dice.

That pink foamy fiberglass stuff. I’m thinking candy floss but with s p i c e

nuns

#GIVE ME MAGMA