Was gonna say! Catching my nip piercing on stuff is the WORST. That split second where it feels like you've torn it and you don't wanna look down... yikes.
Best way to think about it is that our bodies are angry we aren't carrying a child and have decided to take revenge for it. We also bloat before or sometimes during our periods as an extra 'fuck you' from our uterus.
I always thought I was abnormal for having this up until very recently. I've heard multiple girl/women mention this lmao, 16 years after my first period. It fucking sucks, like someone rams a knife up in your anus and wiggles it for that prolonged full body spasm and then slowly takes it back out.
Yikes.
I'm a guy with IBS and I get this pain alot too. I call it shooty arse. It feels like someone is ramming a load of cucumbers straight up your arse. My cousin gets it and calls it ghost rape. I didn't know it happened with periods too!
I don't want to come off as rude, but my sister had a colostomy bag and hadn't used her butthole in a few years too, I just wanted to say every time she'd fart(?) She couldn't help but giggle every time as it just came out as a long whistle out of her bag. For years she'd giggle every time. Do you get a fart whistle too?
You should get a tattoo of a road sign next to your asshole that says "Road Closed" and then get a detour sign pointing towards your stoma (is that the correct word?)
There comes a time during every period in which my vagina will be like "if you stick that thing inside me once more I'ma become so dry and tight it's gonna feel like a cactus to pull it out." That same bitch who won't let me use pads or a period cup because she always tends to bleed outside of them.
Oh my god fr. The last few tampons make you question your sanity. Like “what’s stopping me from just reaching inside and ripping out my uterus so I don’t have to experience this again?”
You are a man among men.
I knew I raised my boys right when in their teens they asked me if we could stop and buy their gf's favorite snack & drink and drop it off at her house when she was on her period.
I was always happy to drive and fund that excursion. That's real service to another.
PSA Don’t wear Thinx! A lawsuit was just filed that the materials might be linked to cancer.
Edit: a lot of nihilists in this Reddit thread. Yeah, you can keep using a product that might put harmful chemicals in your coochie because you’re already eating micro plastics. Have fun I guess?
There was a nurse at my school who used to basically make people do this. If you ever went to her for a pad or tampon she'd give you this lecture about how managing your period is your responsibility and that the school has a very limited budget for things like this and you have to be better prepared etc etc. She'd give you one in the end, but made you feel so shitty about even asking that a lot of people would rather just cope with toilet paper than go to her
That really just makes me so mad, kids should feel safe at school and who knows what's going on at home, they might not be able to get pads and tampons from home
Going to the school nurse when you're feeling vulnerable and just getting shamed like that is awful.
Yeah she was a real battleax. IIRC she ended up getting fired the year after I left bc she said something to a gay kid that was bad enough that his parents came to the school and made a stink.
It’s very uncomfortable that a woman (whom presumably has had a period herself) would have that kind of mindset to an actual child that needs help navigating a period. :( young girls often feel shameful enough about it.
She must have been incredibly regular and on schedule period, cause to this day (I’m 28) my period is still kind of wacky and comes or goes a few days early or late.
See these are the types of things men would have to FUCKING ASK to realize. I can only imagine the type of "self related" things women have to live with on a daily
And the string! The technical term for the bottom edge of the vagina where the lips meet is the fourchette, and it's a rather finicky little spot. Fuck up and the string can be pulled taut down on it, like you're trying to floss the corner of your mouth.
I came here to say this. My string once, in some mysterious fucking way, got wound around my thong. It hurt to sit down. It hurt to stand up. It hurt to take my thong off to get it the fuck out.
Not to mention getting pee on the string and just having to replace the whole thing or get a UTI.
Washing your hands then opening the stall door with your elbow so your hands stay clean, so you can actually use your fingers to insert the damn thing without getting doorknob germs in your vagina.
My fucking god.
On my soap box for a minute - for a long time in society everyone has had to know about male only experience. Jokes about urinal cakes. Sitting on your balls. But only women are expected to know about women's experience. It's subtle but everywhere, like how male comedians are for everyone but female comedians are for women. TV shows with all male or nearly all male lead characters are forneveryone, but with all female lead characters it's just for women. Thankfully this is now changing, men do read books by women, men do watch films directed by women. So maybe in 20 years men will know the funny, weird, good and bad experiences that only happen to women because they will have absorbed it by listening to female voices in society.
Now off my soapbox, thanks for creating this hilarious thread
Some of us listen to our mothers/sisters/cousins/wives/girlfriends/daughters when they talk about this stuff, but overall, I understand your point and agree that it is slowly changing, which is for the better of everyone.
OMG, I absolutely smashed my clit on a stationary bike when I was 12.
It was so traumatic. I knew that clitori were sensitive, but feeling *extreme pain* in mine was not supposed to be my introduction to that body part.
I did this as well. My dad was a stay at home dad, I have a distinct memory of lying on the floor inside, crying, while my dad wiped the blood and yelled to my uncle, “I don’t know female anatomy!!” 💀 💀
When I was...I dunno, maybe 8yo [M] or so, I hit a bump while trying a fast turn on my bike and the handle bars went sideways and the handle slammed right into my nuts. Incredibly painful. I remember my nutsack looked like a fucking plum for a few days.
I'm 34yo now and still wonder if I did permanent damage.
>Thanks to Jackass introducing a bunch of teenage boys to nuttball I'm surprised any of us can have kids
I am pretty sure that the old teabags are quite durable as long as you don't get them tangled up. I have had plenty of impacts in the area over the many years from random things like cricket balls and radio antennas and I still managed to father 3 kids..
One day I was innocently riding my bike, ~12 years old. Got tapped by a car that was inching out into the intersection. I thought she saw me. Slid off my bike seat and WHAM took the middle bar straight to my pubic bone. I have never been the same since.
Sliced my vulva open. Soaked through my shorts with blood as I pedaled the rest of the way home. And had to get my mom to look at it to tell me how bad it was.
"When did you start shaving down there?"
So awkward.
My oldest daughter at about 4 or 5 years old, slipped getting out of the tub after a bath & hit herself on the track for the sliding glass shower door. Had to take her to the emergency room b/c it wouldn't stop bleeding. Thankfully, no stitches needed, and no permanent damage done.
I slipped off of a wooden gymnastics bar in PE (we were walking on it to practice balance) and smashed my crotch right into it. I saw stars, couldn't walk right for a couple days, still remember the collective horrified gasp of everybody else in the room
Similar thing happened to me. In gymnastics we call it “splitting the beam” since you’re well, splitting the beam haha.
It happens to everyone at least once and it hurts like a mofo. What’s worse is that you’re also 4ft off the ground. So you split it and either are stuck in a split or slowly roll over one side and onto the ground in pain.
It was a saddle horn for me. My horse decided to jump over a fallen log instead of easily stepping over it, I was caught by surprise, and landed pretty square on the saddle horn. I’m not sure if that actually ruptured my hymen (no actual penetration, thank the gods!), but it sure felt like it! Having very sensitive, very soft tissue get slammed between a metal saddle horn and solid bone is incredibly painful no matter what bits you’ve got
It was a cupboard door for me 😭 I was trying to get a cup for juice in the top cupboard. Opened the bottom cupboard to climb onto the counter. Slipped and landed spread eagle right on the open cupboard. Had to get stitches and everything. This was right before I started kindergarten I think and I couldn’t play during recess for a few weeks cause of the stitches.
I slipped on a play-structure when I was 9. Landed with one of the metal bars square between my legs and it was agonizing. While it might not hurt as much as it would for a guy, the pain was still no joke.
Getting an IUD. I have never in my life experienced pain like that. The contraction feeling when it’s getting inserted is an excellent reminder of why I’m doing it in first place. And no, 4 ibuprofen an hour before the appointment is absolutely fucking useless.
This was absolutely the worst experience of my life. I literally screamed while it was happening, almost fainted and needed a lie down after, but nooo, we can’t do numbing because it’s such a small procedure. Excuse me?! It’s inserting a medical device into an organ. Completely barbaric.
Love my IUD though, ngl.
I asked my husband to go with me for mine because I'd had a cervical biopsy done in the past with the same prep of "take some Tylenol, it's just a little pinch"* and I was ready for the IUD insertion to be very painful. I was sobbing and borderline screaming during the procedure.
Husband was horrified. He asked the (male) GYN why they don't give women pain meds or sedation or *anything*
GYN responds, "Because they might be dizzy on the drive home."
I won't see that doctor again and have a GYN I really love now. But this should NOT be the standard narrative of women's healthcare.
*a fucking lie
After my IUD insertion I would have caused a significant road accident if I had driven. I was in so much pain I couldn't sit or stand alone, couldn't see properly (tunnel vision) and was shaking with no strength to grip even my phone. A PAINKILLER would have been worse??
Yeah. I drove myself home after the cervical biopsy, but I definitely should not have. I was having such severe cramping, I was shaking.
It's just wild that they'll provide sedation for other fairly minor medical procedures, but as soon as it's a lady issue the medical community loses their sense of patient-focused care and is like "lol, stop overreacting Karen, I'm just snipping off pieces of your body. Why are you crying?"
Dude what that doc told him was straight bullshit. I was dizzy after and had to be given a string cheese and orange juice from a nurse’s lunch while I sat and waited to feel ok again to drive. All I had taken was 4 ibuprofen.
I thought I was going to pass out. The room started darken. And you’re spot on. Reproductive care is absolutely barbaric. I don’t think there have been any significant advances in like 200 years because no one cares.
The number of younger female doctors, some of them gynos, that look at me like I’m absolutely crazy when I answer their usual starting question of “when was the first date of your last period?” With “I don’t know, I have an IUD, so I don’t really get one anymore” has made me lose a lot of faith in doctors in general.
Edit to add, also to go with your point. I had a nearly 20cm cyst removed surgically a few months ago and they gave me pain prescriptions while I was still too drugged up to ask what they were to see if I wanted them or not. Know what they gave me? REGULAR strength Tylenol. The bottle I have in my bathroom is twice as strong and yet you got a copay out of me for this?? Such anger…
Well, y'know. They started by butchering enslaved women that they didn't believe felt pain like real people, who didn't get any drugs for their multiple gynecological surgeries. I have to assume it has informed the culture.
They didn’t think babies felt pain either, but somehow that got resolved. And i think you are absolutely right. Women’s health care is horrifyingly primitive and hasn’t evolved much at all. That would require us to be fully human.
I had a shot of local anaesthetic into my cervix (after some attempts without it) and I was contracting and shouting too much to proceed. It made the procedure possible but it was still bordering completely unbearable.
Demand a once-off script for one benzo and an opioid if you are physically able to take those. Advocate for yourself. God damn I know I will next time.
That’s what really pisses me off. I genuinely had no idea that was even an option. The fact that it isn’t even a conversation prior blows my mind. How, in good conscience, do you put someone through that kind of pain, look me in tear filled eyes and tell me to take some ibuprofen. Kick. Rocks. Next time, now that I know there are secret options, that’s what I’m going to do.
I had no idea either! I had the ibuprofen beforehand as recommended, was told it would feel like a pinch, it did not. I ended up yelling "Ow! Fuck!" at the Dr (woman Dr) who looked at me like I was being a wimp. Imagine a procedure done on guys reproductive organs without proper pain relief?!
A pinch. HAHAHAHA. No. I don’t know who is pinching these people but that is not what I would refer to as a pinch. Considering the male birth control pill gained approximately zero traction because their test subjects had side effects no different that the female pill, I genuinely can’t imagine they’d ever get anything done if not for pain relief.
I had a twilight sedative for my Essure procedure. I have the gene that causes me to metabolize certain medications faster. I woke up during procedure and begged him to stop. He refused. Had 2 nurses hold me down to finish. Once I was done I laid on the bed in the fetal position. I took the meds on the way to the office for the procedure.
It is, but I was with my ex, and he told me that due to him being a military doctor, it didn't matter. Turns out, ex was just lazy and didn't want to deal with it. Now it's too late, though, and they can't find all of my medical records. I did get a small settlement from the company that owned the brand, but the lawyers got most of the money. 40% alone was taken by the lawyers.
Same here. Worst pain of my life and I've had things like a part of a bone removed or a root treatment without painkillers ("The nerve is dead, you won't feel anything." - bitch then goes on and stabs through the root canal into my sinus).
I had the pleasure of driving myself 30 minutes home. If you can’t sufficiently drug me, then you need to figure out teleportation because this is not it.
I brought company to my appointment because I was so anxious (and I Do Not have medical or
pain anxiety generally) I'm glad I did because I got sent happily out of the hospital afterward and I turned blue and grey in the face. Had to be sat down on the ground (bending to sit made me collapse) and a taxi flagged down. Closest to death I've ever felt lol
When your under wire snaps and stabs you. (Usually in public) Now you have to spend the rest of your day repeatedly being stabbed. Unless you're able to MacGyver something or remove it and have one saggy boob.** Edit for grammar.
I got so mad at mine one day that I just reached into my shirt and pulled the wire out. Was it an awkward wait in the dentists office? Yes. But my tit wasn't being impaled.
Getting those damn ass or crotch jolts when you are on your period. Women will know what I mean it's lightening crotch. Pregnant women get them too. And you just have to resume talking to people in public like it's not happening as you are speaking. You have to fight the pain and urge to go WTF and keep on smiling like normal. Meanwhile your crotch or backside is just getting little jolts that are super annoying.
The ass jolts are the worse. It’s like one minute I’m chilling, and the next it feels like Casper the ghost has shoved a 12 inch ice pick straight up my asshole into my organs.
My best friend asked me one day if it is absolute agony to have a bowel movement sometimes when I'm on my period. I thought there was something wrong with me. I am so glad to not have a period.
Less painful but still not great- when your pubic hair starts growing back but is still extremely short it can Velcro itself into the lace of your underwear. Ouch!
My husband pinching my boob under one of his body parts during sex. I'm in my early 50s and between gravity, aging, and breastfeeding 2 kids my DDD size boobs go one one direction and the rest of my body goes in another direction when I lay down sometimes.
Getting hit in the boobs during volleyball in gym class. That shit hurt like a mother fucker. I'm well in my 30's but I still remember that feeling. And I think I might have been on my period so they were extra tender.
\*edited to change glass to class
Sitting down and having part of the sanitary pad stick to your vag lips or pubes (sometimes they shift a bit against the undies) and only realising upon standing up/having pubes ripped out.
Man, I did that when I was maybe 14? Very early in the shaving the legs years. It was like I used a vegetable peeler on my ankle. I flinched with my foot on the edge of a wet tub and a brand spankin' new razor. I didn't even feel it, saw all the blood first.
I knew a woman who was a nurse and had gotten a nipple piercing. She didn't have many others and after about 4 months or so just kind of forgotten about having it.
I said that to say this, she suddenly remembered when she helped a patient into an MRI machine and was standing close enough for it to start to tug on the piercing.
Thankfully it wasn't a "she was in the room with it and it ripped off" she was kinda the right distance for it to be a painful pull and not a sudden yank.
ovarian torsion can happen too unfortunately, that's like worst case scenario of sitting on your balls but it usually only happens from impact in both cases. There's also like cervix / ovary pain, from sex in the wrong position, I've had that happen a few times. but yeah ovarian cysts, cramps, there is already a lot of unique pain that doesn't directly translate. I'd take the occasional ball injury to 14+ days of being bed ridden per month with some conditions like endometriosis, dysmenorrhea with menorrhagia.
You will. First time it happens you’ll play out everything in your head that led to you squishing a nugget, and vow to never let it happen again. Then you forget.
Rolling over in bed and accidentally panini pressing one of your tits.
This, but having big enough breasts that your partner rolls over and catches just your nipple.
*twitches in snagged nipple piercings*
Was gonna say! Catching my nip piercing on stuff is the WORST. That split second where it feels like you've torn it and you don't wanna look down... yikes.
Especially bad if you're PMSing with sore, achy boobs.
TIL Woman anatomy makes 0 sense on periods.
Best way to think about it is that our bodies are angry we aren't carrying a child and have decided to take revenge for it. We also bloat before or sometimes during our periods as an extra 'fuck you' from our uterus.
Don’t forget the butthole cramps
I always thought I was abnormal for having this up until very recently. I've heard multiple girl/women mention this lmao, 16 years after my first period. It fucking sucks, like someone rams a knife up in your anus and wiggles it for that prolonged full body spasm and then slowly takes it back out. Yikes.
I'm a guy with IBS and I get this pain alot too. I call it shooty arse. It feels like someone is ramming a load of cucumbers straight up your arse. My cousin gets it and calls it ghost rape. I didn't know it happened with periods too!
I’m sorry, but ghost rape made me cackle!
EXCUSE ME!? CRAMPS WHERE!?
Sharp, shooting pain in your butthole and colon accompanied with constipation and/or diarrhea. Yes sometimes both at the same time. The period poos.
So I don't have a colon and my butthole hasn't worked in a year. I STILL GET BUTTHOLE CRAMPS when my period comes. I HATE IT.
I don't want to come off as rude, but my sister had a colostomy bag and hadn't used her butthole in a few years too, I just wanted to say every time she'd fart(?) She couldn't help but giggle every time as it just came out as a long whistle out of her bag. For years she'd giggle every time. Do you get a fart whistle too?
Yes the fart whistle is a real thing. 😑
Lmfao I do be fart whistling sometimes but I don’t have a bag
You should get a tattoo of a road sign next to your asshole that says "Road Closed" and then get a detour sign pointing towards your stoma (is that the correct word?)
It IS! And that's hilarious.
Whoa whoa you left out the awesome and horrific period shits!!
Good ol' PB&J!
It feels… oddly? Good? I dunno it feels like I got something big out of my system as disgusting as it is.
I have no experience but I do have a wife. I will NOT relay this hot take no matter how funny it is
You may also enjoy [this](https://i.imgur.com/lFARMSs.jpg) description of what periods are like.
That’s also called a mammogram
:( my A cups can't relate
Pulling out a dry tampon and trying not to yank your womb out with it.
I can actually FEEL this comment
I'm a guy who doesn't even have a womb and I can feel my balls retracting in fear.
Bro same. Never had a womb but my whole lower half tensed up at this.
There comes a time during every period in which my vagina will be like "if you stick that thing inside me once more I'ma become so dry and tight it's gonna feel like a cactus to pull it out." That same bitch who won't let me use pads or a period cup because she always tends to bleed outside of them.
Oh my god fr. The last few tampons make you question your sanity. Like “what’s stopping me from just reaching inside and ripping out my uterus so I don’t have to experience this again?”
Did it yesterday. Felt like I was epilating my V from the inside. I swear periods are painful even just for this time.
Period underwear. Life changing!!!
My girlfriend swears by them. They're nice for me too because I can tell when she's wearing them, so I know when to bring home chocolate.
You are a man among men. I knew I raised my boys right when in their teens they asked me if we could stop and buy their gf's favorite snack & drink and drop it off at her house when she was on her period. I was always happy to drive and fund that excursion. That's real service to another.
My wife switched to them as well. Happy times. And to all you ladies out there, if your man can’t handle period underwear… he’s a boy.
Does she know you're handling her period underwear?
Mu husband does the laundry. He is the stain out king.
PSA Don’t wear Thinx! A lawsuit was just filed that the materials might be linked to cancer. Edit: a lot of nihilists in this Reddit thread. Yeah, you can keep using a product that might put harmful chemicals in your coochie because you’re already eating micro plastics. Have fun I guess?
I can feel it and hear the cotton scrape 😖
When you try to pull your arm out of a tight sweater sleeve and when you finally yank it out you accidentally punch one tit.
Wearing a thong a little too high and when you sit you feel it part the seas and chafe/pinch the gooch area
^…gooch…
“You got the Gooch! Baby! You got the only sweetest thing in the world!”
Probably a pad sticking to pubic hair/labia.
Ever have your period start randomly and need to use toilet paper..? Not the best feeling
I have! It's a nightmare
There was a nurse at my school who used to basically make people do this. If you ever went to her for a pad or tampon she'd give you this lecture about how managing your period is your responsibility and that the school has a very limited budget for things like this and you have to be better prepared etc etc. She'd give you one in the end, but made you feel so shitty about even asking that a lot of people would rather just cope with toilet paper than go to her
That really just makes me so mad, kids should feel safe at school and who knows what's going on at home, they might not be able to get pads and tampons from home Going to the school nurse when you're feeling vulnerable and just getting shamed like that is awful.
Yeah she was a real battleax. IIRC she ended up getting fired the year after I left bc she said something to a gay kid that was bad enough that his parents came to the school and made a stink.
Or they have super unpredictable periods (like most teen girls do), or forgot.
It’s very uncomfortable that a woman (whom presumably has had a period herself) would have that kind of mindset to an actual child that needs help navigating a period. :( young girls often feel shameful enough about it. She must have been incredibly regular and on schedule period, cause to this day (I’m 28) my period is still kind of wacky and comes or goes a few days early or late.
Hopefully as an adult you’ve translated that into voting for strong public education staffing and public health education.
Someone thinking you are wet enough for entry and you aren’t
The pain that comes from someone going up the wrong hole. Oh my god, I lose my breath and have to fight not to cry.
It’s like your butthole is a small hole in a pane of glass and the glass instantly shatters, you can feel every crack as it happens. Just horrible.
This description needs to be in a book somewhere.
Sitting on your tampon (If u put it on wrong it can really hurt when you sit)
See these are the types of things men would have to FUCKING ASK to realize. I can only imagine the type of "self related" things women have to live with on a daily
And the string! The technical term for the bottom edge of the vagina where the lips meet is the fourchette, and it's a rather finicky little spot. Fuck up and the string can be pulled taut down on it, like you're trying to floss the corner of your mouth.
I came here to say this. My string once, in some mysterious fucking way, got wound around my thong. It hurt to sit down. It hurt to stand up. It hurt to take my thong off to get it the fuck out. Not to mention getting pee on the string and just having to replace the whole thing or get a UTI. Washing your hands then opening the stall door with your elbow so your hands stay clean, so you can actually use your fingers to insert the damn thing without getting doorknob germs in your vagina. My fucking god.
On my soap box for a minute - for a long time in society everyone has had to know about male only experience. Jokes about urinal cakes. Sitting on your balls. But only women are expected to know about women's experience. It's subtle but everywhere, like how male comedians are for everyone but female comedians are for women. TV shows with all male or nearly all male lead characters are forneveryone, but with all female lead characters it's just for women. Thankfully this is now changing, men do read books by women, men do watch films directed by women. So maybe in 20 years men will know the funny, weird, good and bad experiences that only happen to women because they will have absorbed it by listening to female voices in society. Now off my soapbox, thanks for creating this hilarious thread
Some of us listen to our mothers/sisters/cousins/wives/girlfriends/daughters when they talk about this stuff, but overall, I understand your point and agree that it is slowly changing, which is for the better of everyone.
Slipping on an old ten speed boys bike pedals and practically losing your virginity on it
OMG, I absolutely smashed my clit on a stationary bike when I was 12. It was so traumatic. I knew that clitori were sensitive, but feeling *extreme pain* in mine was not supposed to be my introduction to that body part.
Fucked up and slid down the chain of a swing, clit first. -10/10, do not recommend.
“Clit first” has me crying lmao
One of my friends was jumping into a lake from a rope swing and the rope ended up slicing her clit 🤢 she had to get 11 stitches all just on her clit
*ENDLESS SCREAMING* 😱
I'd just die. Literally. Just let me go.
Oh My God, I got chest pains reading that
I did this as well. My dad was a stay at home dad, I have a distinct memory of lying on the floor inside, crying, while my dad wiped the blood and yelled to my uncle, “I don’t know female anatomy!!” 💀 💀
When I was...I dunno, maybe 8yo [M] or so, I hit a bump while trying a fast turn on my bike and the handle bars went sideways and the handle slammed right into my nuts. Incredibly painful. I remember my nutsack looked like a fucking plum for a few days. I'm 34yo now and still wonder if I did permanent damage.
[удалено]
>Thanks to Jackass introducing a bunch of teenage boys to nuttball I'm surprised any of us can have kids I am pretty sure that the old teabags are quite durable as long as you don't get them tangled up. I have had plenty of impacts in the area over the many years from random things like cricket balls and radio antennas and I still managed to father 3 kids..
how have u been in a situation where a radio antenna is in close proximity to ur balls???
One day I was innocently riding my bike, ~12 years old. Got tapped by a car that was inching out into the intersection. I thought she saw me. Slid off my bike seat and WHAM took the middle bar straight to my pubic bone. I have never been the same since.
Sliced my vulva open. Soaked through my shorts with blood as I pedaled the rest of the way home. And had to get my mom to look at it to tell me how bad it was. "When did you start shaving down there?" So awkward.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> Sliced my vulva open I could have gone my whole life quite happily without reading those words
Same, I actually gagged reading that phrase...
My oldest daughter at about 4 or 5 years old, slipped getting out of the tub after a bath & hit herself on the track for the sliding glass shower door. Had to take her to the emergency room b/c it wouldn't stop bleeding. Thankfully, no stitches needed, and no permanent damage done.
I slipped off of a wooden gymnastics bar in PE (we were walking on it to practice balance) and smashed my crotch right into it. I saw stars, couldn't walk right for a couple days, still remember the collective horrified gasp of everybody else in the room
Similar thing happened to me. In gymnastics we call it “splitting the beam” since you’re well, splitting the beam haha. It happens to everyone at least once and it hurts like a mofo. What’s worse is that you’re also 4ft off the ground. So you split it and either are stuck in a split or slowly roll over one side and onto the ground in pain.
I actually got my period right after that happened to me. Lol so I was limping for a few days, experiencing my first period. It was the worst.
I’m imagining if you didn’t know about periods and you thought that you’d permanently broke your body.
It was a saddle horn for me. My horse decided to jump over a fallen log instead of easily stepping over it, I was caught by surprise, and landed pretty square on the saddle horn. I’m not sure if that actually ruptured my hymen (no actual penetration, thank the gods!), but it sure felt like it! Having very sensitive, very soft tissue get slammed between a metal saddle horn and solid bone is incredibly painful no matter what bits you’ve got
This happened to a girl I was friends with and she ended up needing stitches in the downstairs mixup. I was horrified at the thought💀
Haven't heard that Ol' Greg reference in a *minute.*
It was a cupboard door for me 😭 I was trying to get a cup for juice in the top cupboard. Opened the bottom cupboard to climb onto the counter. Slipped and landed spread eagle right on the open cupboard. Had to get stitches and everything. This was right before I started kindergarten I think and I couldn’t play during recess for a few weeks cause of the stitches.
I can FEEL your words 😬
I slipped on a play-structure when I was 9. Landed with one of the metal bars square between my legs and it was agonizing. While it might not hurt as much as it would for a guy, the pain was still no joke.
Remember banana seats?
Getting an IUD. I have never in my life experienced pain like that. The contraction feeling when it’s getting inserted is an excellent reminder of why I’m doing it in first place. And no, 4 ibuprofen an hour before the appointment is absolutely fucking useless.
This was absolutely the worst experience of my life. I literally screamed while it was happening, almost fainted and needed a lie down after, but nooo, we can’t do numbing because it’s such a small procedure. Excuse me?! It’s inserting a medical device into an organ. Completely barbaric. Love my IUD though, ngl.
I asked my husband to go with me for mine because I'd had a cervical biopsy done in the past with the same prep of "take some Tylenol, it's just a little pinch"* and I was ready for the IUD insertion to be very painful. I was sobbing and borderline screaming during the procedure. Husband was horrified. He asked the (male) GYN why they don't give women pain meds or sedation or *anything* GYN responds, "Because they might be dizzy on the drive home." I won't see that doctor again and have a GYN I really love now. But this should NOT be the standard narrative of women's healthcare. *a fucking lie
After my IUD insertion I would have caused a significant road accident if I had driven. I was in so much pain I couldn't sit or stand alone, couldn't see properly (tunnel vision) and was shaking with no strength to grip even my phone. A PAINKILLER would have been worse??
Yeah. I drove myself home after the cervical biopsy, but I definitely should not have. I was having such severe cramping, I was shaking. It's just wild that they'll provide sedation for other fairly minor medical procedures, but as soon as it's a lady issue the medical community loses their sense of patient-focused care and is like "lol, stop overreacting Karen, I'm just snipping off pieces of your body. Why are you crying?"
Dude what that doc told him was straight bullshit. I was dizzy after and had to be given a string cheese and orange juice from a nurse’s lunch while I sat and waited to feel ok again to drive. All I had taken was 4 ibuprofen.
I thought I was going to pass out. The room started darken. And you’re spot on. Reproductive care is absolutely barbaric. I don’t think there have been any significant advances in like 200 years because no one cares.
This exactly. I feel so naive to have trusted them saying a few Advil would mask the pain. And my doctor was a younger woman, too! Insane.
The number of younger female doctors, some of them gynos, that look at me like I’m absolutely crazy when I answer their usual starting question of “when was the first date of your last period?” With “I don’t know, I have an IUD, so I don’t really get one anymore” has made me lose a lot of faith in doctors in general. Edit to add, also to go with your point. I had a nearly 20cm cyst removed surgically a few months ago and they gave me pain prescriptions while I was still too drugged up to ask what they were to see if I wanted them or not. Know what they gave me? REGULAR strength Tylenol. The bottle I have in my bathroom is twice as strong and yet you got a copay out of me for this?? Such anger…
Like she HAS to know this is a literal trauma.
Well, y'know. They started by butchering enslaved women that they didn't believe felt pain like real people, who didn't get any drugs for their multiple gynecological surgeries. I have to assume it has informed the culture.
They didn’t think babies felt pain either, but somehow that got resolved. And i think you are absolutely right. Women’s health care is horrifyingly primitive and hasn’t evolved much at all. That would require us to be fully human.
I had a shot of local anaesthetic into my cervix (after some attempts without it) and I was contracting and shouting too much to proceed. It made the procedure possible but it was still bordering completely unbearable. Demand a once-off script for one benzo and an opioid if you are physically able to take those. Advocate for yourself. God damn I know I will next time.
That’s what really pisses me off. I genuinely had no idea that was even an option. The fact that it isn’t even a conversation prior blows my mind. How, in good conscience, do you put someone through that kind of pain, look me in tear filled eyes and tell me to take some ibuprofen. Kick. Rocks. Next time, now that I know there are secret options, that’s what I’m going to do.
I had no idea either! I had the ibuprofen beforehand as recommended, was told it would feel like a pinch, it did not. I ended up yelling "Ow! Fuck!" at the Dr (woman Dr) who looked at me like I was being a wimp. Imagine a procedure done on guys reproductive organs without proper pain relief?!
A pinch. HAHAHAHA. No. I don’t know who is pinching these people but that is not what I would refer to as a pinch. Considering the male birth control pill gained approximately zero traction because their test subjects had side effects no different that the female pill, I genuinely can’t imagine they’d ever get anything done if not for pain relief.
I had a twilight sedative for my Essure procedure. I have the gene that causes me to metabolize certain medications faster. I woke up during procedure and begged him to stop. He refused. Had 2 nurses hold me down to finish. Once I was done I laid on the bed in the fetal position. I took the meds on the way to the office for the procedure.
This is one of the most horrifying things I can imagine. I am so so sorry this happened to you, is that not considered assault??
It is, but I was with my ex, and he told me that due to him being a military doctor, it didn't matter. Turns out, ex was just lazy and didn't want to deal with it. Now it's too late, though, and they can't find all of my medical records. I did get a small settlement from the company that owned the brand, but the lawyers got most of the money. 40% alone was taken by the lawyers.
The part where they put the tube in to measure the depth of your uterus- Absolutely horrific. It was worth it, but BARELY.
Same here. Worst pain of my life and I've had things like a part of a bone removed or a root treatment without painkillers ("The nerve is dead, you won't feel anything." - bitch then goes on and stabs through the root canal into my sinus).
I was gonna say this one, IUD pain is one of the worsts feelings in the world. Not to mention the fainting that comes after.
I had the pleasure of driving myself 30 minutes home. If you can’t sufficiently drug me, then you need to figure out teleportation because this is not it.
I brought company to my appointment because I was so anxious (and I Do Not have medical or pain anxiety generally) I'm glad I did because I got sent happily out of the hospital afterward and I turned blue and grey in the face. Had to be sat down on the ground (bending to sit made me collapse) and a taxi flagged down. Closest to death I've ever felt lol
Trying to pull something open and punching yourself in the tit. That shit hurts soo bad.
I just commented something similar.... when your pulling your sleeve up and your hand slips and you nail yourself right in the tit.
Bumping your pubic bone on the corner of a hard surface.
I read this thread just to see if someone said this
The type of pain where your knees nearly give out.
When your under wire snaps and stabs you. (Usually in public) Now you have to spend the rest of your day repeatedly being stabbed. Unless you're able to MacGyver something or remove it and have one saggy boob.** Edit for grammar.
I got so mad at mine one day that I just reached into my shirt and pulled the wire out. Was it an awkward wait in the dentists office? Yes. But my tit wasn't being impaled.
Why some of us wear wire free bras. Those wires can go work their demon power on someone else 👎
Getting those damn ass or crotch jolts when you are on your period. Women will know what I mean it's lightening crotch. Pregnant women get them too. And you just have to resume talking to people in public like it's not happening as you are speaking. You have to fight the pain and urge to go WTF and keep on smiling like normal. Meanwhile your crotch or backside is just getting little jolts that are super annoying.
The ass jolts are the worse. It’s like one minute I’m chilling, and the next it feels like Casper the ghost has shoved a 12 inch ice pick straight up my asshole into my organs.
I swear I'm trying not to laugh at the comments here because they all sound painful, but every comment I fail
I once called it stabby anus, and my husband said it should rhyme. I joked "stabby anie?" And the name stuck lol.
Anus painus?
Omfg. I thought I was the only one with lightning crotch. Thanks for the validation lol
I thought I was too!!!!! This is such a relief, I’ve never been able to understand what’s happening. Does anyone know the biology of it?
Ugh, the old hot knife up the asshole jolt. Why do we have to live this way
My best friend asked me one day if it is absolute agony to have a bowel movement sometimes when I'm on my period. I thought there was something wrong with me. I am so glad to not have a period.
Running into the corner of a table. Right in the clit. That shit will make you weep.
username checks out
Brushing your hair in the shower and accidentally brushing your nipple
I always brush my nipples before brushing my hair. For this reason.
Gotta detangle those nipple hairs too
wearing lace underwear and getting your lips stuck in them
Less painful but still not great- when your pubic hair starts growing back but is still extremely short it can Velcro itself into the lace of your underwear. Ouch!
When you sit and realize your tampon feels crooked/not all the way in…
Someone going to get up out of bed and they put their hand down to push themselves up and accidentally pin your tit to the bed under their hand.
My toddler does this to me almost daily
Sneezing on your period
Sneezing/coughing/laughing too hard. I agree wholeheartedly what a Reddit user called it a while back on a similar thread. "The birth of a jellyfish."
It's like another mouth down there. Two-sided sneeze, double edged sword.
One time I farted so hard my period started. Twas a morning, for sure.
Labia thong widgie it hurts so much but we can't pick at it until we find a bathroom
Similarly thong burn in the bum
I was shaving my arm pits once and when I brought my arm down I nicked myself on the nipple. It bled for a while too....
Poorly made pants or underwear sawing our clits and labia's in half with their badly placed seams
Having your cat step directly onto your nipple which somehow feels like he’s stepping inside your boob
Getting your hair stuck in chairs.
Especially those ones in public schools with the plastic backs and two metal bolts, AWFUL, the amount of hair I’ve seen lodged in the bolts😬😬
You just unlocked this memory for me.... I've always had long hair and I know EXACTLY the chairs you're talking about!
Underwear bunched up around labia and then you sit down, pulls the labia.
I slipped trying to sit down in my tub and my pubic bone smashed into a toy my kid left in the tub. I'd say that...
A clam slam. When you just whack that poor junk so hard by bashing into something.
Multiple times I've sat down on the floor or landed from a jump and smashed my vag on the back of my heel. Soul-shattering pain
sitting on your labia or g string riding up your labia and jeans seam rubbing them
Sometimes when I sit down, my thong moves in such a way that it catches a lip or a hair around one😭 it hurts
Omg, when a thong has a really long and thin gusset and it just decides to dental-floss your flaps. WHY, UNDERWEAR COMPANIES?
Hitting your boob on literally anything.
Laying on a boob.
Or your kid shoving an elbow into a boob.
I accidentally elbowed my coworkers boob. He wasn't happy.
My husband pinching my boob under one of his body parts during sex. I'm in my early 50s and between gravity, aging, and breastfeeding 2 kids my DDD size boobs go one one direction and the rest of my body goes in another direction when I lay down sometimes.
I love how real this comment is, bless you genghismom71
Getting hit in the boobs during volleyball in gym class. That shit hurt like a mother fucker. I'm well in my 30's but I still remember that feeling. And I think I might have been on my period so they were extra tender. \*edited to change glass to class
Sitting down and having part of the sanitary pad stick to your vag lips or pubes (sometimes they shift a bit against the undies) and only realising upon standing up/having pubes ripped out.
Going for a run right before your period starts. Tits hurt so damn bad
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Shaving with a razor and cutting the back wrinkled part of your ancle
Man, I did that when I was maybe 14? Very early in the shaving the legs years. It was like I used a vegetable peeler on my ankle. I flinched with my foot on the edge of a wet tub and a brand spankin' new razor. I didn't even feel it, saw all the blood first.
Labia bubble
the bike seat breaking your hymen
When a underwire bra breaks and stabs you in the tit 😩💀 It’s awful 😂
When you fart and it rolls forward into your cooch
Cutting your labia while shaving your fanny.
Nipple piercing catching on your bra
The reason I won't get piercings below the chin, I'm a klutz and imma catch that shit on everything
I knew a woman who was a nurse and had gotten a nipple piercing. She didn't have many others and after about 4 months or so just kind of forgotten about having it. I said that to say this, she suddenly remembered when she helped a patient into an MRI machine and was standing close enough for it to start to tug on the piercing. Thankfully it wasn't a "she was in the room with it and it ripped off" she was kinda the right distance for it to be a painful pull and not a sudden yank.
Having a pubic hair stick through your underwear and then moving in a way that pulls on it…especially if that hair is on your labia
Getting your nipple piercing stuck on your loofah.
Sitting on someone's balls
Having sensitive boobs/nips before your period starts. Even the soft fabric from your bra brushing against the nips can sting like a bitch
running into something at cooch level will almost always paralyze you
Pooping while on your period... 😭
ovarian torsion can happen too unfortunately, that's like worst case scenario of sitting on your balls but it usually only happens from impact in both cases. There's also like cervix / ovary pain, from sex in the wrong position, I've had that happen a few times. but yeah ovarian cysts, cramps, there is already a lot of unique pain that doesn't directly translate. I'd take the occasional ball injury to 14+ days of being bed ridden per month with some conditions like endometriosis, dysmenorrhea with menorrhagia.
I get ovulation pains and it's a stab of pain inside your pelvic region. Shit hurts.
Maybe I’m crazy but hitting your hip/bum on the counter/table/cabinets
I never knew the boob was THAT sensitive, y’all need a steel chest plate😂
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I never sat on my balls
You will. First time it happens you’ll play out everything in your head that led to you squishing a nugget, and vow to never let it happen again. Then you forget.
our bodies hurt themselves internally instead of externally, and it's not accidental. ❤️
Running without a bra
When you wear a panty liner but you wanted to wear that cute, cheeky pair of panties so the liner folds in ya butt cheeks and STICKS.