Yeah this is why I use the smaller spoon or fork for meals, so it will take longer to eat.
Annoying fast eating habit I got from a job where I barely had any time to eat.
I tried this with chopsticks. Turns out, once your hands adjust, there is no going back. New friends look at me weird when I bust out the chopsticks when it is least expected.
Not me but i do something similar. Usually i eat donuts with whatever i can pierce them with. Whether that be a fork, knife or whatever. I just hate getting my fingers dirty. Pizza barely gets a pass cuz u can hold the crust. But if grease drips onto my hand somehow its irritating.
I grew up with six siblings so if you wanted seconds you learned to eat fast.
I'm on an intermittent fasting diet now so I only eat a big meal once a day
So I'll down like 1700 calories in like 5 mins. I hate it
It's really hard to get out of the habit of eating fast.
Two things I've heard and experienced that help a lot:
1) Put your utensils/food down between every bite (and make sure you are chewing your food thoroughly). Even if you pick up and put down your stuff super fast, it'll still slow you down a decent amount
2) Don't be on your phone/computer or watching tv while you eat. Focus on the taste of the food you're eating and eat mindfully, not automatically or distractedly.
Maybe you'll take 7 minutes instead of 5, but every little bit helps!
That would work! Except I'd have to keep it on a little mat next to a water bowl in case people come over.
"How come I never see your dog?"
"He's um really introverted."
Or if you don't typically watch TV while eating, starting doing so might actually slow you down. I've always been a very slow eater but I'm much slower when watching something on TV or my phone, or scrolling through reddit than I am if I'm just sat quietly eating because then I'm having to move between the two tasks.
Yup me too, if I grab a slice I'll swallow that shit whole.
Using a fork and a knife slows me down to a point where I actually chew the food and take my time.
Yeah I'm overweight.
My issue with that is that I hate when my food gets cold. Most food doesn't stay warm for more than 5 minutes or so, once it's on the plate. By the time it's room temperature, I'm annoyed because I have to get up to reheat it.
I do it for the opposite reason. It's too hot for me to pick up at first, but that isn't going to stop me from eating right away. It's pizza. Once it cools off a little then I pick it up.
Wiping your hands off doesn't even really work, you still get a tiny bit of grease and oil on everything and its a bitch to get off. You have to wash your hands with soap before you can touch stuff without gunking it up after handling pizza.
I eat fairly carefully but started washing my hands and around my mouth after eating any greasy or saucy foods. Getting way fewer pimples now, so it’s for sure worth the few minutes after meals imo.
Yep. I'd like to see someone eat a pizza with their hands and then use they keyboard right after, lmao
Why judge tools such as fork and knife instead of just.. using them when needed
I’ve been saying forever, bags of chips should come with little cardboard chip tongs inside. No reason to be smearing chip dust and grease all over the place.
For popcorns I use my tongue, you gotta dive your face in the bowl but you will eventually learn how to do it right.
I'm not doing that if I'm sharing them with someone of course.
An absolute classic of an episode.
That joke, George thinking everyone is giving him the finger, Jerry cashing his grandmother's checks, Elaine and her friend's "high talker" boyfriend, Kramer just being Kramer.
One of my buddies was like that, we would be eating pizza on the floor and he'd be at the table eating with his elbows off.
We broke him eventually, by the time he hit college he was just as much of an animal as the rest of us. Passing around a communal 40.
Depends on the pizza, if it's thick and unwieldy absolutely laden with toppings, I might reach for a fork. But if it's a standard slice, I'm picking it up.
I'm still upset at the combo pizza going MIA. I'd be lying if I said I never got a full pepperoni pizza and just put on all the combo toppings at home for a lazy meal
*Look at me in my face* and tell me that Costco pizza isn't a floppy greasy mess of a pie.
It's a delicious and cost effective mess, but a mess nonetheless.
ya, chicago deep dish is knife and fork territory. Neapolitan style, knife and fork if i’m in a sit down restaurant since the crust won’t hold up when it’s hot. or fold the thing and eat like a giant taco if I’m buying it on a street corner in Italy. Now a New York slice? there’s one proper way to eat it — the fold.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to see this. The last thing I'm about to do is not only burn the roof of my mouth, but also pull all of the cheese off of the pizza in the process.
I'm the same way. Usually the first slice is all fork and knife and then slowly gravitates to all hands by the last.
Also you'll never accidentally yank all the cheese and toppings off the crust.
Can't believe I had to scroll this far for the correct answer.
With knife and fork I can take it straight out of the oven. Cut a small piece and blow on it repeatedly for about 20 seconds and then pop it in my fat mouth.
Without it I'm risking 10th degree burns if I want to eat.
I have mastered the art of eating chicken wings with one hand. Someone pointed it out to me and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I want to keep one hand completely clean
>free/clean hand for grabbing your drink, silverware
This is why I do it. I have major sensory issues when it comes to having greasy or otherwise dirty hands and touching a cup or silverware. The hand can be greasy, but once it touches something it's gross to me.
I've got plenty of teeth, but the ones in the front don't a good job of meeting. So if I try to eat pizza without a fork and knife, my first bite doesn't go completely through the toppings, I pull the pizza away from my mouth...and all the toppings on the slice fall in my lap.
Ahh, good ol’ open bites. You and me both. If the food doesn’t fall onto my lap, it’s either awkwardly sticking out of my mouth, or has slapped me in the face.
It’s stupid. Dumb food for the sake of image. First you’ve got to get your jaw around it, and then you’ve got to deal with the toppings getting fired out the other side when you bite down. It’s 90% of the reason I don’t order burgers at a restaurant anymore.
You’re not alone I just posted something similar..I’m in the process right now I’m getting myself some new chompers. I can’t wait to be able to eat peanut M&Ms again.
Half the cause of my dental problems was the way I used to smoke commercial weed and chew down a pound of peanut m&Ms with a Coca-Cola chaser. I get so stoned that I couldn't tell there were pieces of my teeth breaking into those peanuts.
So when they came out with peanut butter m&Ms... I figured maybe they were trying to make amends
Mainly, it forces me to slow down and appreciate the pizza instead of just shoving it in.
Also it makes eating pizza more of a sensory experience. I can feel and hear how crunchy or thick the crust is by cutting into it. I can tell how much sauce is on it by how much I have to spoon it up after cutting. I can also see how stringy the cheese is by having to twirl it around by fork.
Yes. And no, it didn’t go well.
In my defense it was my first try. It’s impossible to find deep dish here. I was just happy it came out of the oven well
That’s true, in Italy they give you a whole pizza for yourself, they are much smaller and thinner.
Well when you get the pizza they don’t cut it for you, so you need a fork and knife to do it
Because using a spoon would be ~~un~~**im**practical
Edit: geez, thanks for the English lesson. (anyway, unpractical is also accepted even if not commonly used)
Esit 2: you know what? Fuck you all, bunch of ignorants who apparently aren’t even able to look up a dictionary. I’m out.
If it is Neapolitan pizza , it is ok (and some places even suggest it), since the crust won't hold up on it's own. Most american style pizzas have thick crusts that don't sag (there are some dirty jokes in there somewhere), but the traditional, 90 second cook at 900 degree Neapolitan pizza typically has a thin, wet, saggy crust in the center. You can't "one hand" them easily like you can other pizzas, so you either use 2 hands, or cut it.
Because if you order pizza at a real Italian restaurant they don't slice it for you. They give you a knife and fork. You can use the knife and fork to make slices then eat the slices, but their attitude is you're an adult and they don't need to cut your food for you.
Currently, because I’m getting a bunch of dental work done that makes biting off a piece of anything painful.
Before recent dental work, only if all of the toppings would fall off in one big piece.
To slow me down.
Yeah this is why I use the smaller spoon or fork for meals, so it will take longer to eat. Annoying fast eating habit I got from a job where I barely had any time to eat.
I tried this with chopsticks. Turns out, once your hands adjust, there is no going back. New friends look at me weird when I bust out the chopsticks when it is least expected.
> bust out the chopsticks when it is least expected. *Busts out chopsticks for mushroom soup*
Bust out the chopsticks for my cola
Busts out chopsticks for my sherona
Busts out chopsticks on the piano
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Busts out the chopsticks on a quiet walk on the beach
Busts out the chopsticks when it's time to wipe
Busts out chopsticks in the bedroom.
Busts out chopsticks for my bologna.
Busts out chopsticks and opens up a bag of Reese pieces
I use chopsticks to eat spicy cheetos. Keeps my fingers clean.
Also good for buttery popcorn, or as I call it, "chopcorn"
Glad I’m not the only “weirdo” that does this. Fuck flammin hot cheeto fingers!
I'd strongly advice not to fuck flaming hot cheeto fingers.
my hubs does this. i judged at first. then gave him the credit that was due for being a pure man of genius
I have a bundle of like 200 chopsticks under my desk because I noticed forks go missing, but have never had a problem with chopsticks!
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Emergency chop sticks
Because Costco.
My mom got a box of 5000 mini straws from Costco when I was like 6. Those lasted until I was in college.
They get real confused when you bust out the chopsticks for a smoothie.
yeah I only drink my smoothies with a fork
Not me but i do something similar. Usually i eat donuts with whatever i can pierce them with. Whether that be a fork, knife or whatever. I just hate getting my fingers dirty. Pizza barely gets a pass cuz u can hold the crust. But if grease drips onto my hand somehow its irritating.
Yeah I should probably use chopsticks more often, I usually only remember them if it's something associated like a rice dish.
A friend got me on to using them when eating Hot Cheetos and it's a game changer.
I grew up with six siblings so if you wanted seconds you learned to eat fast. I'm on an intermittent fasting diet now so I only eat a big meal once a day So I'll down like 1700 calories in like 5 mins. I hate it
It's really hard to get out of the habit of eating fast. Two things I've heard and experienced that help a lot: 1) Put your utensils/food down between every bite (and make sure you are chewing your food thoroughly). Even if you pick up and put down your stuff super fast, it'll still slow you down a decent amount 2) Don't be on your phone/computer or watching tv while you eat. Focus on the taste of the food you're eating and eat mindfully, not automatically or distractedly. Maybe you'll take 7 minutes instead of 5, but every little bit helps!
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Eating at work is gonna be nice and awkward!
This is the wag
That would work! Except I'd have to keep it on a little mat next to a water bowl in case people come over. "How come I never see your dog?" "He's um really introverted."
Or if you don't typically watch TV while eating, starting doing so might actually slow you down. I've always been a very slow eater but I'm much slower when watching something on TV or my phone, or scrolling through reddit than I am if I'm just sat quietly eating because then I'm having to move between the two tasks.
Yup me too, if I grab a slice I'll swallow that shit whole. Using a fork and a knife slows me down to a point where I actually chew the food and take my time. Yeah I'm overweight.
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My issue with that is that I hate when my food gets cold. Most food doesn't stay warm for more than 5 minutes or so, once it's on the plate. By the time it's room temperature, I'm annoyed because I have to get up to reheat it.
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With you up until liquefied
I do it for the opposite reason. It's too hot for me to pick up at first, but that isn't going to stop me from eating right away. It's pizza. Once it cools off a little then I pick it up.
It’s not a pizza party if you don’t burn the roof of your mouth off with sauce and cheese cause you can’t wait 2 minutes to eat
Not a bad idea. Eating too fast leads to problems anyway
Typically I'd do it because I'm working at my PC and don't want to have to wipe my hands off every time I need to type something
Wiping your hands off doesn't even really work, you still get a tiny bit of grease and oil on everything and its a bitch to get off. You have to wash your hands with soap before you can touch stuff without gunking it up after handling pizza.
I eat fairly carefully but started washing my hands and around my mouth after eating any greasy or saucy foods. Getting way fewer pimples now, so it’s for sure worth the few minutes after meals imo.
Yep. I'd like to see someone eat a pizza with their hands and then use they keyboard right after, lmao Why judge tools such as fork and knife instead of just.. using them when needed
Not just pizza, anything greasy makes me uneasy. Plus the hassle of wiping, and still not feeling as clean when needing to use a keyboard
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Holy shit, this is actual internet life pro tip that I did not know about and might actually work.
It's amazing for Cheetos.
Lol, I just drink the bag.
I went on a serious diet after doing this one night and letting all the crumbs fall over my face and bed. It was a moment of realization.
This is one of the first "life hacks" I remember seeing when life hacking first became a concept. I guess we're going full circle with the internet :P
I’ve been saying forever, bags of chips should come with little cardboard chip tongs inside. No reason to be smearing chip dust and grease all over the place.
But then the chip tongs get covered in dust, too.
Popcorn too
Pretty please never come look at my keyboard[.](https://i.imgur.com/skt1j1S.jpg) 🫠
Omg no lmao I can just imagine it
Let's just call it the "trickle down" approach to keeping your cherry MX switches lubricated
popcorn with chopsticks for the same reason.
wear hoodie backwards fill hood with popcorn bury head in hood like a horse with a feedbag
For popcorns I use my tongue, you gotta dive your face in the bowl but you will eventually learn how to do it right. I'm not doing that if I'm sharing them with someone of course.
One must always distinguish themselves from the peasants.
I bet this guy eats a snickers bar with a knife and fork too, Costanza-style.
How do you eat it? With your hands?
He's a barbarian.
I just saw somebody eating M&Ms with a spoon!
An absolute classic of an episode. That joke, George thinking everyone is giving him the finger, Jerry cashing his grandmother's checks, Elaine and her friend's "high talker" boyfriend, Kramer just being Kramer.
I love the wholesomeness of >!the mugger not being a mugger and leading Nana to the bank. !<
> mugger Ask for Mr. Fleming, he'll help you!
It burned!
It's gone!
Costanza-style? Put some respect on Mr. Pitt's name!
Indubitably. True gentleman also always take the escalator, rather than ascending or especially descending stairs like some kind of pack animal.
A real gentleman will efficiently walk up or down the escalator with pep in his step. This business fellow has tasks to go accomplish promptly!
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If you eat it like that in front of him does he pop the top of your hand with a horse whip?
He suddenly raises his left eyebrow in an exaggerated fashion and the monocle falls on the soup with a satisfying “plop!”
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No toys at the table
Yeah, horse whip stays in the bedroom.
Naw, this is just how they get in the mood. “Grab that slice and double dip in the ranch, you dirty slut!”
One of my buddies was like that, we would be eating pizza on the floor and he'd be at the table eating with his elbows off. We broke him eventually, by the time he hit college he was just as much of an animal as the rest of us. Passing around a communal 40.
"Jeeves, knife and fork for my hard tacos please.." *K-KRUNCH* "Oh dear, this is even more uncouth!"
Depends on the pizza, if it's thick and unwieldy absolutely laden with toppings, I might reach for a fork. But if it's a standard slice, I'm picking it up.
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Looking at you, Costco pizza.
Costco pizza is topped with liquid crack
Do NOT throw shade at Costco pizza. That is forbidden. I will not allow it.
I will throw shade until they bring back the combo pizza. No polish, no combo pizza, *cries.*
I'm still upset at the combo pizza going MIA. I'd be lying if I said I never got a full pepperoni pizza and just put on all the combo toppings at home for a lazy meal
*Look at me in my face* and tell me that Costco pizza isn't a floppy greasy mess of a pie. It's a delicious and cost effective mess, but a mess nonetheless.
It is a mess to you because you are an uncouth, unwieldy, bumbling heathen. 😜
Exactly! It's not complicated. We have these tools for a reason. Use them when it makes sense.
ya, chicago deep dish is knife and fork territory. Neapolitan style, knife and fork if i’m in a sit down restaurant since the crust won’t hold up when it’s hot. or fold the thing and eat like a giant taco if I’m buying it on a street corner in Italy. Now a New York slice? there’s one proper way to eat it — the fold.
I want it right now and if I bite into it when it’s too hot the cheese will slap itself onto my chin and I’ll scream
Finally somebody said it. Sometimes the shits too hot.
Upvoting because this the only time I do it. When it’s crazy hot fork and knife is the way
Surprised I had to scroll so far to see this. The last thing I'm about to do is not only burn the roof of my mouth, but also pull all of the cheese off of the pizza in the process.
I'm the same way. Usually the first slice is all fork and knife and then slowly gravitates to all hands by the last. Also you'll never accidentally yank all the cheese and toppings off the crust.
Can't believe I had to scroll this far for the correct answer. With knife and fork I can take it straight out of the oven. Cut a small piece and blow on it repeatedly for about 20 seconds and then pop it in my fat mouth. Without it I'm risking 10th degree burns if I want to eat.
I like my hands to avoid getting sticky and fooded up if i can
Right here. Hate greasy hands.
This is why I'm a boneless wings boi Edit: To everyone that keeps commenting that boneless wings are chicken nuggets, no shit. Everyone knows.
I have mastered the art of eating chicken wings with one hand. Someone pointed it out to me and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I want to keep one hand completely clean
A friend taught me that lesson a long time ago so you have a free/clean hand for grabbing your drink, silverware, or posting stupid stuff on Reddit.
>free/clean hand for grabbing your drink, silverware This is why I do it. I have major sensory issues when it comes to having greasy or otherwise dirty hands and touching a cup or silverware. The hand can be greasy, but once it touches something it's gross to me.
All fooded up. Bingo, buddy.
I don’t like my hands getting greasy
Exactly!
I don't have a single freaking tooth left in my head. Just about anything I eat requires a sharp knife.
I've got plenty of teeth, but the ones in the front don't a good job of meeting. So if I try to eat pizza without a fork and knife, my first bite doesn't go completely through the toppings, I pull the pizza away from my mouth...and all the toppings on the slice fall in my lap.
Ahh, good ol’ open bites. You and me both. If the food doesn’t fall onto my lap, it’s either awkwardly sticking out of my mouth, or has slapped me in the face.
Had to scroll so far to see teeth come up... I have a false front tooth / partial. I eat pizza AND burgers with a knife and fork.
Same for my husband. Everyone thinks he’s very mannered lol
I started eating burgers with a knife and fork when they started making them 6" tall. WTF kind of jaws do these people have?
It’s stupid. Dumb food for the sake of image. First you’ve got to get your jaw around it, and then you’ve got to deal with the toppings getting fired out the other side when you bite down. It’s 90% of the reason I don’t order burgers at a restaurant anymore.
You’re not alone I just posted something similar..I’m in the process right now I’m getting myself some new chompers. I can’t wait to be able to eat peanut M&Ms again.
Half the cause of my dental problems was the way I used to smoke commercial weed and chew down a pound of peanut m&Ms with a Coca-Cola chaser. I get so stoned that I couldn't tell there were pieces of my teeth breaking into those peanuts. So when they came out with peanut butter m&Ms... I figured maybe they were trying to make amends
Hah! Me too. I consider myself dentally challenged. But I can usually manage pizza if I cut it into smaller slices.
Mainly, it forces me to slow down and appreciate the pizza instead of just shoving it in. Also it makes eating pizza more of a sensory experience. I can feel and hear how crunchy or thick the crust is by cutting into it. I can tell how much sauce is on it by how much I have to spoon it up after cutting. I can also see how stringy the cheese is by having to twirl it around by fork.
*Look at that tasteful thickness. My God, it even has a pepperoni mark..*
Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Paul Allen's stuffed crust.
Let's see what Paul Allen has cooked for us.
>_the subtle offwhite mozzarella..._ Is something wrong? Patrick, you're sweating...
> forces me to slow down This! It slows me down, and I end up stopping before I overeat.
You ever tried to lift a slab of deep dish to your face?
Yes. And no, it didn’t go well. In my defense it was my first try. It’s impossible to find deep dish here. I was just happy it came out of the oven well
That's the normal way of eating a traditional Italian pizza.
True. Just watched a Anthony Bourdain episode and everyone at this Naples pizza place was eating with a knife and fork
That’s true, in Italy they give you a whole pizza for yourself, they are much smaller and thinner. Well when you get the pizza they don’t cut it for you, so you need a fork and knife to do it
This item has been removed because Reddit is bollocks. Thanks.
Every Pizza is a Personal Pizza, if you are brave enough & believe in yourself enough
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you cry enough.
In the US, a large pizza is normally 16 to 18 inches. That easily serves 3-4 normal people or two gluttons.
Exactly - I'm amazed I had to scroll so far to find this!
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
When in Seattle, do as the Satellites do. 🛰
During a recent vacation in Sicily, we noted that most diners used a for and knife. When in Sicily, do as the Sicilians.
Because using a spoon would be ~~un~~**im**practical Edit: geez, thanks for the English lesson. (anyway, unpractical is also accepted even if not commonly used) Esit 2: you know what? Fuck you all, bunch of ignorants who apparently aren’t even able to look up a dictionary. I’m out.
What about chopsticks?
If it's cut into more than 8 slices than yes
Any Asian will be able to eat a whole uncut pizza with a chopstick. Chopstick is an ultimate eating utensil.
I'm not Asian but use chopsticks for almost everything.
Wiping your ass?
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Yeah, my asshole is pretty leathery at this point.
Chopsticks?! Man, I prefer a whisk to eat pizza with.
This comment may cause quite the stir.
Y’all mfs stirring pizzas now?
Yo this dude got so upset about grammar he deleted his account. That's hilarious.
Yeah the comments aren’t even that bad! If you can’t handle some downvotes or criticism then Reddit (or any social media) is not for you!
Chaotic neutral: despractical
Because it's a perfectly valid and convenient way to consume pizza, Source : I'm Italian
I lived in Naples for 2 years. Can confirm, in the home of the pizza, knife and fork.
How do you eat it? With your hands? scoffs
Was looking for this Seinfeld comment lol
Proper Italian pizza requires a knife and fork
A friend of mine from Brazil told me that’s just how it works in some cultures. No idea if he was bullshitting or not
Brazilian here, can confirm.
He is not. That's the standard here. Been to Sicily too. They gave me a small individual pizza with a knife and a fork.
Clean!!! No hot!! No greasy!!
Chicago deep-dish, a knife and fork is the only way you can eat it
In Europe, that's the way to do it. I lived in Italy for awhile and they serve you a pizza that is not cut into slices. So.. fork and knife it is!
Similar here. Lived in Italy so I picked up the habit. Usually only do it with a thin crust pizza.
I like having clean hands so I can scroll ur moms insta
If it is Neapolitan pizza , it is ok (and some places even suggest it), since the crust won't hold up on it's own. Most american style pizzas have thick crusts that don't sag (there are some dirty jokes in there somewhere), but the traditional, 90 second cook at 900 degree Neapolitan pizza typically has a thin, wet, saggy crust in the center. You can't "one hand" them easily like you can other pizzas, so you either use 2 hands, or cut it.
Clean hands.
If you worry about how others eat their pizza then you need more to worry about.
I can only stare at hospital ceiling right now so i guess it is best i can do
I hope it wasn’t because of how you ate your pizza.
Luckly its not because of pizza
Phew, I was worried.
If i have to go to a hospital I'm hoping it's pizza related
Well shit man, in that case I eat my pizza in whichever way helps you get out of the hospital quicker. Good luck my dude.
I’ll take a pizza suppository if it helps you guys. Or I’ll do it anyway
Nice save. That's sweet.
Thank you
Feel better soon! Oh and I only do if I’m at nicer spot or it’s too floppy to fold.
Chicago style pizza requires fork and knife. So does Chicago etiquette.
Lmao at people who try to say they don't like deep dish. It's like saying you like sheet cake but not layer cake.
Only my back 4 teeth touch when my mouth is closed so I can't bite a piece off lol
Same! I end up trying to tear pieces off and pull all the toppings with it
Most of the times i do this i dont want to get my hands oily because id be using my phone the same time id be eating
I’m autistic.
Because if you order pizza at a real Italian restaurant they don't slice it for you. They give you a knife and fork. You can use the knife and fork to make slices then eat the slices, but their attitude is you're an adult and they don't need to cut your food for you.
I feel like it would be cultural appropriation if I used chopsticks.
Is it also cultural appropriation for East Asians to use a knife and fork?
Don't be silly only western imperialists can culturally appropriate things.
Everyone knows eastern imperialists get a pass.
I do it sometimes at the pizza is still really hot. It keeps all the toppings from sliding off
Deep dish
Maybe they don't want to get their hands dirty?
They want to?
Currently, because I’m getting a bunch of dental work done that makes biting off a piece of anything painful. Before recent dental work, only if all of the toppings would fall off in one big piece.
Sometimes a mf needs to be classy
That is actually how it is done in Napoli.
Because it’s messy, why else? Obviously not all pizzas however.